Shatter Your LIMITING BELIEFS: 3 Secrets to UPLEVEL Your GROWTH MINDSET

This episode focuses on overcoming the psychological barriers that inhibit personal and professional growth, specifically addressing how to shatter limiting beliefs.

1. Distinguish between primal fears and intellectual fears; the latter are self-created and not tied to real, immediate danger.
2. Intellectual fears can be used as tools for self-improvement and motivation rather than obstacles.
3. Overcoming fears involves acknowledging their non-reality and focusing on purpose rather than self-doubt.
4. Embracing and integrating fears can lead to personal growth and better content creation.
5. Shifting focus from fears to one's purpose in life helps overcome the barriers they present.

1. Introduction to Fear

Brief overview of different types of fears and how they affect us. Lewis Howes discusses the impact of both primal and intellectual fears on personal growth. Lewis Howes: "When I look at fears, I categorize them in two different types: primal fears and intellectual fears."

2. The Role of Fear in Personal Development

Explores how intellectual fears, while not based on current reality, feel real and can impede progress. Lewis Howes: "Intellectual fears feel like primal fears in our body, which suggests danger and inhibits action."

3. Utilizing Fear as a Tool

Discusses transforming fear into a constructive force for creating better outcomes in personal and professional endeavors. Lewis Howes: "How can I use this fear to actually help me create better content or help me create a better book?"

1. Identify Your Fears: List down your fears and categorize them as either primal or intellectual.
2. Challenge Their Reality: Regularly question the validity of your intellectual fears and confront them with rational thought.
3. Embrace Fear as a Motivator: Use fear to push yourself to try new things and take risks that can lead to growth.
4. Integrate Rather Than Overcome: Accept that fears can be part of your psychological makeup and use them to your advantage.
5. Refocus on Purpose: Whenever you feel overwhelmed by fear, remind yourself of your purpose and the bigger picture.

Imagine what you could achieve if you didn’t tell yourself you were limited. That’s where your true potential lies. Today we bring to light the common stories we tell ourselves holding us back from reaching our full potential, and how to break free from those limiting beliefs! Rob Dial, Noah Kagan, and Dr. Joe Dispenza to explore the powerful theme of breaking free from the limiting stories we tell ourselves. Rob Dial shares insights from his extensive experience in personal development, discussing how changing our internal narratives can lead to manifesting desires and achieving happiness. Noah Kagan brings his expertise in entrepreneurship, revealing how reframing our approach to challenges and failures can unlock paths to financial freedom and success. Dr. Joe Dispenza rounds out the conversation by explaining how modern science supports profound personal change, teaching listeners how to rewire their brains and bodies for better health and a more fulfilling life.
In this episode you will learn

Strategies to dismantle limiting beliefs and rewrite empowering personal narratives.
How to apply principles of mindset change to achieve personal and professional goals.
Entrepreneurial tactics for overcoming mental barriers to success.
Scientific methods to transform your health and elevate your consciousness.
Practical steps to evolve beyond old stories and embrace a new identity for transformative success.

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Lewis Howes

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Lewis Howes

Welcome to this special masterclass. We've brought some of the top experts in the world to help you unlock the power of your life through this specific theme today. It's going to be powerful. So let's go ahead and dive in.

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Lewis Howes

Why do people create fears that hold them back from attracting or manifesting more? So many people are held back by. I'll take a step back. So when I look at fears, I categorize them in two different types of fears. There's primal fears, and a primal fear is there is physical pain or death that's attached to it.

Caller

And so we should have primal fears. So what kept our species alive? But there's actually on two fears that people are born with. It's the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling are the two that are built into the human circuitry. Everything else is learned.

And so out of all the other ones that are learned, you have primal fears which is actually like physical pain or death attached to it, which we need to survive. The other ones are intellectual fears. And an intellectual fear would be like, I ran a webinar last night with a few thousand people. We were talking about the book, and I said, what's your number one fear? Everyone put in the chat the thing that's holding you back the most, 90% of them, is a fear of failure.

So it's like the fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of not being loved, the fear of running out of money, all of those are intellectual fears because they're not actually existing in reality in this moment. And there's a quote that's in the book that I really loved, which is fear. An intellectual fear, like we have and we're talking about is a perception of a imagined future event. And the key part is, imagined future event. It may never happen, and it's not happening right now.

And so what's happening is we have these. We think, and we feel like intellectual fears, feel like primal fears in our body, which is, there's danger. I shouldn't go and do this. And so it's like I have this fear of failure. There's danger.

I shouldn't go and try to create the life that I want. I shouldn't try to manifest the life that I want. And so we have these fears. And then so people say, okay, like, Louis, I've got this fear of failure. Tell me how to overcome it.

And then here's the craziest part, is when you look at a fear that is an intellectual fear, and you say, okay, now that I've identified it, how to overcome it, the key to it is you can't overcome something that doesn't exist. So how do you let go of it then? Right? So that's the key. Right?

So, first off, people need to, like, really get into their heads. First off is, you cannot overcome something that doesn't exist. You are creating in your mind the boogeyman. And all day, you are fighting the boogeyman. But the boogeyman doesn't exist in the first place, and that's your fear of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of not being good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough to have the success that you want.

The imposter syndrome, all of those are just figments of our imagination, and we're fighting them all day long, and they don't actually truly exist. And so what it comes down to is, okay, I can overcome it, but it still kind of lives inside of me from my childhood, right? And so what I've been teaching people is, it's not about overcoming the parts of you that exist. It's about integrating the parts of you that exist. And so it's like, you can have the fear of failure.

Like, I'm afraid of failing all the time, and I screw up all of the time. Right. And that's just the way that it goes. But it drives me to create better content. It drives me to create better stuff.

And so the way I like to look at the fears that you do have that are intellectual fears is they are tools for your tool belt, where it's like, okay, I have this fear of failure. I feel it inside of my body, which is usually where you feel at first. You don't notice the fear in your brain. It's usually like, I feel kind of anxious right now. And so you notice the fear inside of your body.

It's like, what am I afraid of right now? I'm afraid of failing. Okay? I notice it. I'm not trying to get rid of it, because you can't get rid of parts of you.

You know, if you look at, like, internal family systems, it's a version of therapy. It's the different parts of you. And so I can say, okay, this part of me is afraid of failing. I can listen to that part of me. Or I could say, how can I use this fear to actually help me create better content or help me create.

Write a better book? You know, if I'm afraid of, like, putting this book on, it just completely flopping. Couldn't do that. Right? Or I could say, I remember when I was writing it, I was like, I really want this to be good.

It made me do more rounds of edits, which in turn, hopefully made it a better book. Yeah. And get more feedback from people and make sure you're more prepared and things like that. And there can be a, how can we make sure that we pursue the things we want and not get paralyzed by needing to be perfect due to our fear of failure. Yeah.

Yeah. So that actually goes perfectly, which is the third. The third part of chapter one, which is what holds people back. So there's identity. There's part one, which is identity, which is fears, and then the purpose that people have.

And there comes a point in your life where you have to realize that failure and success are not different. They're two sides of the same coin. When you look at the creator of Honda said, success is 99% failure. You and I, we've put out over 1000 podcast episodes. I think I'm like 13, 1400.

You're fed 1500, right? Who's keeping track? We've had some flops, right? We've done some things which are not the best. We put out content that is not done really well.

But what it's really about is, like, you stop looking at the numbers and you say, what's my purpose, actually behind this thing. One of my very first mentors used to always say to me, you've got to get off yourself, and you've got to get on purpose. Off yourself is thinking about all of your intellectual fears. If we're talking about creating podcast episodes because we're both podcasters, if I don't want to start a podcast because I'm afraid of my. I work at a job and I'm afraid of Nancy and HR making fun of me for it, right?

It's a fear of failure. It's a fear of judgment. It's a fear of not being accepted, kicked out of the tribe, whatever it might be. And so we can look at it that way and say, well, I'm not going to start because I'm afraid of people judging me or we. And that's being on self.

I'm thinking about myself. But if my purpose is like, for me, my purpose is I remember what it feels like. I was nine years old. My dad was an alcoholic. I remember him passing away when I was 15 from being an alcoholic.

I remember the trauma that came from it, and I remember what it felt like to be an absolute suffering in my mind. And it was hell. And I would never want to go back there. You couldn't pay me enough to go back to that moment. But through years of working on myself and trying to become better and coaching myself and reading books and going to courses and doing therapy and doing all of that, I've gotten myself to a place where I can overcome things that become hard.

And I feel obligated to teach that to other people. That is my purpose. And my purpose is to have people not be in suffering that I was in at one point in time. Cause I know what it feels like. And I hate that other people are in there.

And so I don't care what anyone else thinks about me because my purpose is so strong that it doesn't matter if somebody says this podcast sucks, if it doesn't matter when I get a one star review, that people are like, I love his content, but I hate that he cusses and I'm like, but that's authentically me, right? And so it sounds like when people get in alignment with their purpose, it doesn't matter what fears they might have or it doesn't matter what people, what they're afraid of people saying them, because when you're truly on purpose, you're willing to risk making a fool of yourself, being judged for failing because you care more about the purpose than that fear for sure, 100%. I care more about what. And what's interesting about is, like, the fear that we have of, oh, I'm going to be judged if I put this out there, if I do this thing. There's such a small amount of people that judge you or that will be, there's such a small amount of haters in the world, and there's such a huge amount of people who will actually say, this is amazing, this is great.

And so we think there's going to be way more haters than there actually are. There's such a small amount of haters and there's a large amount of lovers that are out there in the world. And a lot of people just don't start the thing that they really, truly want to because they're afraid of just that one person that could possibly say. Something to that's true. Something I think about a lot.

Lewis Howes

And this has helped me overcome any insecurity about putting something out or launching something or the fear of failure is really thinking about my future self and saying, would my future self be proud that I didn't take the shot or more proud that I actually did take the shot. I failed. I learned something from it, and it led to something even better after that failure or that loss. And I don't think our future selves will ever think, I'm proud of you for not taking a chance. No, I'm proud of you for having.

A dream and not going for it. I'm proud of you for playing small and for shying away because you're afraid of what a few people might think or say about you. I'm proud of you. Way to go. I don't think our future self would ever say that.

I don't think our, you know, mentors would ever say, you know what, it's a good thing that you didn't go for it. You didn't give it a try. It doesn't matter if we succeed or win at everything we do, but it's the effort of doing it, I think, is where we gain pride in ourselves. So I think that's really cool. I think that's also where confidence comes from.

Caller

Like, a lot of people will ask, like, how do I, a lot of people ask, how do I get confident, right? How do I build confidence in myself? And they think, I have to go do something and I have to succeed. That's not necessarily the truth. Sometimes I think a lot of our confidence comes from feeling fear, doing it anyways, maybe not having the results that we actually wanted to, but in turn, looked at it and said, I'm really proud that I showed up for myself.

Lewis Howes

Yes. And that builds confidence in you. Huge time. When you show up for you, that's big. But a lot of people don't know what their purpose is, or they feel like they have too many ideas, too many passions, and they don't know which direction to go.

So what have you discovered about how to discover or find your purpose at this stage of life? And is there a formula you teach people? Yeah. So there's a couple different things. The thing that I hear more than anything else is that most people don't know what their passions are, and they don't know what their purpose is more than I hear that I have too many of them.

Caller

I heard a couple of that last night when I was live, and some people said that they did have too many things that they could do, but majority of people are like, I don't know what my passion is. I don't know what my purpose is. And then I ask them, I'm like, well, how often do you do something new? And they're like, not very often. And I was like, so here's the key to it.

It's okay right now if someone's listening not to know what their purpose is, it's okay to not know what their passion is. But it is not okay to not wake up every single day and not be in constant pursuit to find what that passion is if you don't know what it is. And so if it's. And that takes trying new things, of. Course, you have to try a ton of new things.

Like, for instance, ruling out things you don't like. Yeah, exactly. And try things and be like, oop, that didn't work. I don't like that at all. Like, you know, for, and the other thing that's important to know about passion and purpose is that your passion doesn't have to be your paycheck.

Like, you can look at people and see, like, I'm lucky enough. You're lucky enough that we're so passionate about this and we happen to be paid from it. That's amazing. Like, that's, by the grace of God, the best thing that's ever happened to me. Right.

But there's other things where it's like, some people are like, I really enjoy riding horses and how do I make money off of horses? How do I make them my passion? I was like, you don't necessarily have to make money off of it, but maybe you start going, well, you know what I would like to do? I like to take my horses, and I like to teach people that are in the inner city how to ride horses. Or I like to teach people who have maybe psychological symptoms and they have anxiety or bipolar.

And I've learned that horses end up calming them down in some sort of way. And you decide that you want to help them. It doesn't mean you have to make money off of it. But I always say, if you found something that you love so much, why don't you try to spend as much of your time doing it? And so if it is this horses thing, and maybe you make like five grand a year of horses, or maybe it costs you more money, can you have a job that you at least somewhat enjoy?

Not hate, but you somewhat enjoy, but it gives you enough free time to do the thing that actually makes you feel alive. And so people always say, like, well, how do I find those things? I think my personal belief is, I think that God, the universe, speaks to you through energy of the energy that we feel doing something. Like, when I get done with this podcast, I am going to 100% have more energy than when we first start the podcast. Cause this is what actually makes me feel alive.

Like, I feel the most alive doing this. And so I think a lot of people need to think, like, where's the most energy for me? Where do I have the most curiosity to try to learn something? What would I do even if it didn't make me any money? Like, I would still.

I mean, for years, I didn't make money off of the podcast or anything that I did. Right? You kept doing it because you loved it. Hundreds of podcast episodes before I made a dollar off of it. Right.

Just because I love learning about people. I'm obsessed with neurology. I'm obsessed with learning about, like, sitting down with someone being like, why is Louis Wayne that he is? I want to know about his mom. I want to know about his dad.

I want to make connections and put this puzzle piece together of this person. And so it's like, it gives me energy to meet people and find out what's going on and where they come from and how they became that. Yeah, I was interviewing someone yesterday. Her name was Jenna Zoe, and she had a curiosity and a love for this thing called human design, which is about understanding, kind of your not personality type, but your energy type, right, based. Off of when you were born and.

Lewis Howes

She had another business, or she was working in the food industry, creating something around food. And it wasn't really succeeding, but she loved doing this other thing on the side for years, like, reading people's charts and, like, really helping them identify their energy type and making sure are you in alignment with what you should be doing and just supporting them in that. That creation of life. And she did that for years, and, you know, she didn't make any money. For a long time.

Caller

Then she made a little bit of. Money, but she enjoyed it so much that eventually she's like, why don't I just try doing more of this and see if I can make money after five, six, seven years? And eventually started making money, then said, you know what? Okay, now I'm going to go all in on this. It doesn't have to be all in right away, or you don't have to monetize something you enjoy right away.

Lewis Howes

Maybe if the timing will come later, like it did with you in some ways as well, and maybe if you lean into the curiosity and just keep doing that on the side or on the weekends with your horses, eventually you could make money. Maybe you can, maybe you can. But finding the time to dive into things that you love more, I think, is always going to help. You know what? I found that kind of goes with that, too.

Caller

That's important is that people want to start something, and they think they should be, like, making a bunch of money in three months. I found that for the majority of people who I met that have become, like, something, like, big, and they've been able to do something very successful, it takes at least five years. Five to seven is pretty average before it, like, really starts to take off. I don't know if it's, like, the universe testing us to be like, do you actually want this? Because you better keep on this path.

But I think the path of mastery is something that I, like, really love. My first tattoo is a roman numeral for 10,000 because I love the 10,000 hours rule. It's on my wrist right here, so I see it every single day, and I just love the idea of mastering something. And I think that if we find something that we're kind of interested in, that seems interesting, that seems fun, and we start putting energy into it, we start getting better at it. Like Tony Robbins always says, progress equals happiness.

When you feel like you're progressing towards something, not making money, but just progressing towards something, it makes you feel good, and you want to keep doing it, right, and you fast forward five years or seven years, and you've become one of the masters of that thing. That's usually when people can write a book about something they can start on podcasts, they can grow a following on it, and that's usually where they can start to monetize. Yeah. You gotta have some type of skill set or some type of mastery. Maybe you're not the master, but you've mastered a part of it, and you'll start to attract more financial opportunities that way.

Lewis Howes

But one of the things I feel like holds people back from discovering their purpose, tapping into their purpose, taking action on their purpose, is the old character they've been playing for so long. You talk about this in your identity chapter. They've been holding on to an identity that has been developed for them that isn't in their highest best way. Right. It's been the way society wants, parents, kids, whatever it might be.

How can we get the courage to eventually kill off the parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us for our highest sense of purpose? Yeah. Have you ever seen the documentary Jim and Andy on Jim Carrey? Yes. It's incredible.

Caller

It is incredible. Right? So everyone should watch it. So Jim Carrey is amazing. He did the movie the man on the moon, like, in 1999.

Lewis Howes

Andy Kaufman, right? He was playing Andy Kaufman, right? So he was playing Andy Kaufman. And he's a method actor, which means that he had to literally become him and he had to play him all day long for three or four months straight to the point where even his driver said when he would pick him up in Hollywood and drive him home, he would still be Andy Kaufman in the car on the way home. He'd be Andy Kaufman on the way home or on the way to go and shoot every single day.

Caller

The crazy part about it, though, is that Andy Kaufman also played other characters. So Andy Kaufman was also Tony Clifton, which is a whole other character. And so he would, if they stopped shooting and he was Tony Clifton, he would go home and be Tony Clifton. And so he was Andy Kaufman. Some days he was Tony Clifton some days.

He was never Jim Carrey in those three or four months. And it's really interesting when you watch it because the people who are like, they were in taxi with him and they. They were on the show were like he was almost indistinguishable, like he was the closest thing to Andy Kaufman that I've seen since Andy Kaufman. To the point where even his daughter, Andy Kaufman's daughter went into sessions, like, almost like mini therapy sessions, sitting down with Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman as being her dad. That's crazy.

Crazy, right? And so what's crazy about it, though, is that when it ended, he said he forgot who Jim Carrey was like, he literally forgot. There's a point where there was that song. I think it was Rem did the song man on the moon. They're like, can you be, you know, we're going to shoot the video, the music video for it.

Can you be Andy Kaufman? And he's like, I don't think I can. He's like, cause I lost myself so much in that role that when it ended, I forgot what I liked. I forgot what I didn't like. I forgot my belief systems.

I forgot everything about who Jim Carrey was. And the quote that he says, and it's actually in the book, is, I realized if I could lose Jim Carrey so easily, then who was Jim Carrey? And he realized it was just another character that he was playing in his life. He was waking up and unconsciously every morning deciding to be Jim Carrey, and he was being that person. And if you've seen, like, the spiritual awakening, he's gone on the past, like, 20 years.

That was the beginning of it, because he lost his identity. You forgot who he was. And it shows you that. It's like our identity is just something we're choosing to be every single day. And we can look at parts of ourselves and we can say, do I like this aspect of myself?

Do I not like this aspect of myself? So, like, there's aspects of myself that I like. There's aspects of myself that I. That I don't like. And I've changed over years.

Like, one of the things that was the hardest for me was, you know, with my father not being around, my mom working a lot is I don't feel like I really felt a safe space of love when I was a kid. I didn't feel like it was just there and omnipresent. Like, my wife, you know, her mom and dad are still together. She's got her two sisters. They're all really close.

We were never really close, so I never really had that. And so we've been together now for ten years. In the first couple years, she was way more loving, and I couldn't open up to the love. Like, it was hard for me to because I felt uncomfortable. Like, my nervous system was like, what's going on?

This person's too close to me. It almost didn't feel safe for you because it was unfamiliar 100%, even though. It should be the safest feeling, but. You'Re also afraid of it. You want it, but you don't want it.

Me noticing different aspects of myself, I'm not as loving as I think I probably truly am, or what I could be. That was a part of me I didn't like. I was like, how do I open myself up to be a little bit more loving? Which is hard because, you know, opening yourself up to be vulnerable allows you to be vulnerable, especially when you love somebody allows you to be really hurt, especially when you've gone through heartbreaks and you've been, you know, if you've been heartbroken, cheated on, divorces, all these things that people could have. I think it really comes down to how we try and have the courage to do it, is that it's funny because I literally have two tattoos, and I'm referencing both of the tattoos, so the only other tattoo that I have is a tattoo on my arm.

When I was first starting the podcast, I was really nervous. And when I was, I left my job where I was making like a quarter million dollars a year, and I was like, I'm gonna do this thing. I don't know why. It just feels right. Like, the feelings felt right.

And I was really fearful, and I was like, I might go back to work for someone else. And my sister comes out. I went home, and I was back for Thanksgiving in 2015, the year I started the podcast. And she goes, hey, have you ever seen this box from dad of dad's stuff? And I was like, no.

And my dad had passed away, you know, 14 years ago at that point. And there were these, you know, it was like a t shirt of his, it was his glasses, and there was these letters. My dad was in jail for a little while, and he wrote letters to us, and he wrote a letter to my sister on her 20th birthday, which was a year before he passed away. And the very end of the letter, it says, I hope you live your life with courage, love, and laughter. And I read it and I was like, this is actually speaking to me because I'm in so much fear right now that I'm going to go back to work for someone else and literally throw my passion away.

And I took my dad's handwriting. Exact handwriting. It's on the inside of my arm. Right here? Yeah, it's on the inside of my arm.

Lewis Howes

That's cool. You wanna see it? Yeah, I do. Anybody? That's on YouTube.

Caller

So it says, live your life with courage, love, and laughter. It's exact handwriting. And it's the end of that letter. It says, courage, love, and laughter. Right?

Which, if you think about it, I was in so much fear. I was in so much fear that I was about to give up my entire passion and everything that I felt like I was born to do because I just wanted to go back to what was safe. And I think everybody feels it. And it's like, when you feel fear, we're always like, what's a hack? The only hack is you're gonna have to get yourself to a point where you're like, I have to do this, or else I'm not going to be able to create the life that I really, truly want.

Joe Dispenza

Right? And my biggest fear, like, I have. I have fears, of course, I'm just a normal person, but my biggest fear, like, I remember Louis. I remember sitting. The first person who I ever knew that passed away was my dad.

Caller

Nobody I'd ever known that had passed away before. I remember flying up. We had flown up to go see him, and he was still in the hospital at the time. He was unconscious, and we were flying to go see him. And by the time we got to the airport, we got the news that he had already passed away.

Lewis Howes

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Caller

So I went up there to go see somebody ended up being. Going there for a funeral. And so we were in this tiny little room, and we were viewing it, the casket, and he was in the casket, and we were on this sofa that was right there. And it was myself, my grandmother, which was his mom, my mom, my sister. The four of us are just sitting there, and I was looking at him.

And my dad was a dreamer, and he was an amazing person, but he had a lot of demons that he had in his life. His father killed himself, and he walked in the room and saw it right after it happened. So he had demons that he just didn't overcome. And he was a dreamer. He was an amazing person.

But I remember looking at him at 15 and being like, this guy had so much potential, and he didn't follow his potential. I know that he didn't create the life that he probably would have wanted to. And I was like, that will not become my life. It will never become my life in any sort of way. And so can I feel fear?

Of course I can feel fear. But at some point, you've got to decide, am I going to live a life that's full of fear, or am I going to start being more courageous and live a life that's courageous? Because we all have a choice, and we could go one way or we could go the other. But really, what it comes down to is like, I know I'll be ridiculed for putting stuff out there. I know that people are going to bash different things that I put out there, but it's more for me of what feels right in my heart is what I'm going to follow.

And I think that's what people should think of. It's like, where do I have energy? Some people are like, I'm 45 years old. I've been in this job. I went to college for this.

I'm like, you could live to 90 years old. You're halfway through your life, and you're going to live the rest of the 45 years doing something that you don't want simply because you went down the wrong path for a little while. And so I think you just got to get to a point where you realize there's going to be fear that's omnipresent. It's always going to be there. It's just the way that we are as humans.

You've just got to be courageous at. Some point in time.

Lewis Howes

So when did you realize that you actually were worthy of love, of being rich, of having nice things or buying a house with the money you've earned. When did you realize you were worthy? I was in Barcelona, and I was just recognizing my own life. I was working with this woman, Stephanie, and I was just kind of. I was outside.

Noah Kagan

There's arc de Triomphe in Barcelona, and I remember being outside journaling on this iPad, just feeling like, wow, like, what a cool life I created. Actually finally recognizing my own life and ever. It's like reflecting back in the last 20 years and all the different things. Ups and downs, the sadness of what I've done to the ex fiance, how I've created this company, that I finally get to actually live my dream. And just kind of being able to reflect on all of that, it helped me accept it and just enjoy it.

Like, hey, money is great. I know people say money can't buy happiness. Definitely made me happier. Now, finally being able to embrace it. Once you love and accept yourself and believe you're worthy, then money can buy you additional happiness, but it cannot buy you happiness.

Lewis Howes

If you feel unlovable, you don't accept yourself, and you don't face the challenges and the pain and the sadness that's within you, then it's just more sadness because I make this money, but I'm still shameful about who I am. Yeah, it's still chasing. It's still this external side, and so with Stephanie, and it's the simplest thing. It's just day by day, like, do something for yourself. Do something that you're proud of for yourself.

Noah Kagan

Like, back in the day, we had this thing called Gebbie. It was me and my buddy Adam from my body tutor. Basically, gratitude, exercise, breakfast, you. And if anything, it's just like, just, how do you do one thing for yourself each day where you feel good about yourself? Maybe it's in a relationship.

So for me, it was like, all right, I'm dating these women. I did have a goal. I was like, I'd like to have kids, and I'd like to have a real partner that I'm getting what I want. When did you realize you wanted to have kids and a partner where it was, like, a harmonious relationship? When did that come about?

It took years, and it took years after breaking out the fiance, it was, like, back and forth with her, and then working with Stephanie was like, I really did have to close the door in the past, and there was a visualization of I couldn't swing to my next branch. Holding onto my previous one. Oh, my goodness. You know what I'm saying? Wow.

I was holding on. Cause I was like, I like partying. Your previous identity, the lifestyle. Yeah, yeah. And, wow.

It was feeling more harmonious just daily. It was honestly like a daily practice. I really enjoyed being in Barcelona. I felt like, wow, I get to work on this business. I get to meet interesting people.

And then it was directionally. I didn't know, kind of faith what you were talking about your stuff. Like, I had faith there's gonna be someone out there that I'd eventually now start meeting. But I was being intentional about it, and I told the ex, I sent her a message, like, I can't reply to you anymore. And that was hard.

That was really. You closed the chapter? Yeah, yeah. And I'm sure she was mad and all these things. I was like, I want you to find someone that is good for you.

Lewis Howes

So it was still kind of lingering energy was like, okay, we're not together, but, hey, how are you? And checking in and every once in. A while, waiting for a text intermittently. So you made the decision like, hey, I cannot communicate with you anymore. Yeah.

You sent that message. Yeah. Did your coach or therapist kind of guide you in that, or was that something within? Yeah. So she was like, you need to send this message.

Noah Kagan

And I was like, I'm not doing it. So she was. And this is kind of a weird, I would say, hack for others. If you do have coaches or you meet with other people, I'd record my conversations with their permission. It's not secret.

Lewis Howes

And listen back to it, or I. Listen to myself, and I notice, I'm like, huh? Are you proud of what you did with these dates? Are you proud of how your work is? Are you proud of.

Noah Kagan

And then just kind of an interesting moment of reflection. Like, when you do content, we do anything, you get a chance to actually learn. And so through that, I was listening to it, and then when I was ready, you know, it takes time for all of us. How many times has someone given you advice, and then you read the book or you listen to something, and finally, like, the 18th time, you finally accept it? And I kid you not, it was probably about four weeks later when I finally sent it, and then four weeks later, I met mafe.

Lewis Howes

Isn't that fascinating? I know, I know. I hate that story. But the key part, I don't hate. I love that story.

Noah Kagan

But one thing that I've changed my perspective on, based on, you know, what, what Isaac was asking, I believe I'm I more optimistic and not optimistic because, yes, things are good, all this stuff. But, like, how do you be optimistic when things aren't good and there's a book, learned optimism, phenomenal book. And that optimism is a choice. And so, okay, business isn't working out. Business.

We still have problems. I told you, the YouTube team, most of them quit. Yeah, yeah. Appsumo, we still have partners complaining or different things happening. How do you stay optimistic that, do you think the future is gonna be better than today or not?

Lewis Howes

Yeah, I think it's gonna be bright. Yeah. But that's even when things are going down and there's challenges and there's stress, I'm like, this is all happening in my favor for a brighter future. That's tough, though, when it doesn't feel good, man, you know? It didn't feel good.

Noah Kagan

Yeah. Like many months this year, I was going through a lot of challenges. Just like, man, there's challenge here in the business and this person, and this is challenging and revenue is going down and, you know, all these different things. And I was like, you know, after a period of being frustrated internally, I was like, okay, how can I look at this in a way? Because being frustrated and stressed is not going to cause me to feel better, and it's probably not going to get me into flow and creativity, and I'm probably stressing my girlfriend now fiance out or whatever people around me with that tense energy.

Lewis Howes

It's not like I was explosive or anything, but it was more like I just wasn't my happy self all the time. Right. And I started to shift that energy internally and say, this is all happening in my favor and maybe this continues for six months or a year. And knowing that, I'm going to make sure I put my attention on it. I want to align the right people towards it.

We're going to be figuring it out, and eventually you will figure it out. Hopefully it figures out today, but if not, it's going to be figuring itself out and just take care of my health, my mindset, my attitude. Yeah, I think that's really the only thing we can control is who we are and how we show up. I'm curious about this.

Where do you think you'd be if you didn't emotionally and physically send that text of like, hey, I need to close this chapter with this relationship. Where do you think you'd be right now if you kept that door open? Whether it's with that or any type of door from a previous thing that was kind of holding on to you, where do you think you'd be? Do you think you'd be in a peaceful, loving, beautiful relationship? With a child on the way, or do you think something else would be happening?

Noah Kagan

How many times has something bad happened that turned out to be great for me? Every time when people say, do the work, I'm always like, what's the work? You know, you hear it, you're like, do the work. I'm like, what's the work? Can you tell me what it is.

Lewis Howes

So I can do it? And I think the work is just really trying to understand ourselves, understanding what's going on. Like, do I want to live the way I've been living? And it's like, no, this is not what I want. I'm like, excited to have a family one day.

Noah Kagan

And so, okay, what is necessary for me to feel worthy to then lead to that kind of. So what was that thing that was necessary for you to feel worthy of a different life, financially, emotionally, spiritually, you know, family, relationship? What was that thing?

There's not one thing. There's not one day that I magically woke up because I meditated or something specially happened. I think it was literally like each day, can I just be a little kinder to myself? Just a little bit more generous to myself and then to others? Let's just take it piece by piece.

I have noticed that when my relationship's going well, guess what else is going well? Everything else. And when one thing's going bad, it's like, maybe these other things are going bad. So let's start working on these different pieces of it. But I feel like you've always been a very generous person to others.

Lewis Howes

Like, since I've known you, you've always been generous. Giving, like willing to jump on a call and say, let me help with anything, strategy, or you need an introduction. You're like that with everyone. Yeah. So you're very generous outwardly to other people where you're not generous to yourself.

Noah Kagan

Yeah, generous with the money. Really? Yeah, like, I didn't really enjoy the money. I told you I was, like, living in it. I lived in an 800 square foot house that's falling down, literally, like, cracks in the floor, cracks in the walls, and it's like.

And that's what I thought of myself. Mmm. This is actually kind of an interesting experience. And I do want to answer your question, but I'm trying to think more through it. Go back to your old life.

Go back to three years ago. I went to my old house about three months ago. I was like, huh, wow. This is what I thought of myself and your environment. Yeah.

It was a representation of what I thought I deserved. And it's interesting for all of us, like, what we think we deserve. Do we deserve great families? Do we deserve great, great money? Do we deserve a great.

Where we're living? And then you start realizing, like, okay, what's really holding me back from that? And every time it's yourself. And so going through therapy, talking to a therapist, talking with Stephanie, I wouldn't say it's like some. It wasn't some overnight thing.

It was just. It usually is an overnight. It's usually a series of events and series of conversations, reflections, integrations, closing of chapters, you know, practices. And then over time, it comes together. It's usually not like, oh, the first conversation I had, I learned to love and accept myself.

Lewis Howes

It's like unwinding and unpacking things that caused us to believe we're unworthy. Yeah. And learning to finally integrate that emotionally and physically. Yes. With the present day of doing things over and over that show you that you believe you're worthy.

Noah Kagan

Yeah. It's not just like, oh, I'm gonna think about it now. I'm worthy. It's like, you've got to act on it. Yeah.

Lewis Howes

Continuously. And usually when someone's like, okay, I'm going to let go of this old apartment or whatever, that is really serving my vision of what I want to be stepping into. So let me transition from this to the next thing. Let me leave a job that really isn't the vision I have, and I leave that, and I don't know where I'm going to go next. But then magically, something unfolds.

It's when we leave a relationship, we finally say, I love you, I appreciate you, but this is not good for either of us. It's time for me to close this chapter, how hard that is emotionally, especially if you've been with someone for years and you've already talked about the future, and unwinding that is extremely hard. But then, boom, something unfolds magically. It seems like. Isn't that funny how that happened?

Isn't that crazy? I would also. I was thinking how it's also experimenting. Yes. Like, okay, what would a great relationship.

Noah Kagan

Can I go on a date and just see what a great relationship would be like? Maybe. Could I try? And I told you, like, try nice houses. See what that's like?

Can I try first class? Be like, that's pretty good. And then you start feeling like, okay, what do I need to do so that I can feel more comfortable doing these all the time? Besides just the money part. Yeah.

And I think with the worthy was just day by day just doing things that I felt proud for myself. Yes. Like, is my behavior making me proud? Like, there's a lot of times where if I'm out to have a drink, I'm like, do you think you'll feel proud of yourself for making this decision? And that's what I think a lot.

And sometimes it's like, yeah, have a drink. Great. Other times, like, no, let's not. And I'm like, good. Keep saying these kind things to yourself.

That's something that I always think the word generous. And generous. I think people think of money to others, but I think if generous as words to yourself, just be like, and you can also be generous with words to other people too, with your partner or with people you admire. Generous to yourself. Be like, hey, man, you're doing well.

Even if it's not great or even the success immediately, you can just keep doing it. Yes. And there's no one stopping it. It's unlimited. I know.

Lewis Howes

How do you think someone can become more valuable in the marketplace, become more worthy of financial abundance, of making and earning more? What are some things they can do internally and externally to appreciate in value?

Noah Kagan

Like, to get a better salary or to start their own business? Either one. Yeah. Yeah. I think the thing that I've always found the most fascinating, or to get.

Lewis Howes

A great relationship or all these things, you know, just appreciating in value. Yeah. The thing that I've always come back to is how can you just go help one person? Like, a lot of times on my YouTube channel or at Appsumo or with this book, like, I don't just go help one person. I think we get, you know, when people run a business, they think about million and they don't get the dollar.

Noah Kagan

And when you actually help another person, you really realize, like, oh, I have a lot more ability and capabilities, really, than I even realized. Yes. In the workplace, I think one, everyone should be an entrepreneur so that you have some control over your destiny and you can keep your data. We have a lot of entrepreneurs at appsume. We have, like, Amy, she has a flower shop.

Nick has a teeth whitening business. Ullman's wife has a facial business. You know, they, and that's great. And so you can have that option within the company. I think it's really, this has been really fascinating, like, who gets paid more and why?

Like, how come an engineer makes 200 and someone, a customer support makes 35? And it's within everyone's ability to recognize what things are getting paid more for. And there's no limit that they can go do those other things. We have a lot of people in our company, like Matt Bean went from launch operations to now he's a product manager. Pretty cool.

And there's all these people within our company and elsewhere. It's like, well, if you want more money, there's no limit to what you can create. And so figuring out what is more valuable in a business and then how do you move up that chain? What do you think are the three most important skills for people to earn more money that they can develop? Number one is follow up.

No one follows up. Just being consistent with following up, bro. No one follows up. It's unbelievable. I like deleting people's emails just to.

Lewis Howes

See what happens, see if they reply in a week. DM's, emails, texts, just see what happens. No one follows up. If you really want something, you follow up, you persist. So I'd say that that's one of the best things.

Noah Kagan

Number two, and coming back on, I would say it's how are they learning? What is their learning approach? I've seen different people that are like, yeah, I'm good, this is where I want to be. And it's like, well, you'll stay where you are. And I've seen other people like, let's take Sean for instance.

He's the head of Revenue Appsumo. He was six years ago our junior salesperson. Now he's responsible for 80 million. And that's because Sean kept learning. Wow, right?

He has different coaches, he's taking different courses. And I'm like, ah, there's something there with that. So you're following up, you're learning, all these skills are available for everyone. There's nothing exclusive. I'd say the last one is attitude.

Gosh, man, I know it's something that's obvious shit. But it's like, dude, it's been interesting to see the attitude of people, especially we've had hundreds of people work at Appsumo, YouTube team, all these people. I've seen a lot of different friends of companies. It's like who's attitude? And I like people that have solution attitude.

Like, oh, this didn't work, what else can we do? That's huge. And that's not exclusive. Everyone can work on their attitude no matter what. If you're starting your business, if you're as an employee at a company or whatever it is in a relationship, whatever.

Lewis Howes

That is, I have, you know, half my team is virtual and half my team is here. And Alexandra and Sammy who are in the office here, every day I walk in, and they just have good attitude. And for me, you have no idea how far that goes when, especially as someone who's got challenges. If you're the business owner, you've got challenges of fires you're putting out all day, and, uh, just different people you're dealing with throughout the day, right. Decisions to make.

So when someone is just consistently following up with a good attitude, even when they got challenges, they don't have to be perfect every day. But just, like, a consistency of a positive attitude, a solution oriented attitude, you have no idea how valuable that is. Yeah. How. How much people appreciate that.

There has been so many times that I've played sports on teams where there was some incredibly freakish athlete just, like, so talented, like, just way better than everyone else, but had the worst negative attitude, and it ruined the entire dynamics of the team. But you're like, oh, but they're so good. But they're just bringing everyone down with their attitude. And the moment you remove that person or they remove themselves, it's like, wow, there's this flow and this is, like, connection, and there's this collaboration, and there's just this progress that's more effortless. When you remove one person with a negative attitude or they remove themselves for whatever reason.

Yeah, it's incredible. I'd rather have a team of people who would just have a solution oriented attitude than, like, the superstar talented technical engineer or, like, graphic designer or video editor with a negative attitude all day long. You can do so much more with positive attitude. I was talking about, like, the three things we looked for. Our attitude, energy, and effort.

It's like, if you can be consistent with those three things, you got a place here, you know? And those are all things in your control. 100%. They're all in your control. And if you have a learning mindset as well, and you keep growing, like, then the earning potential just keeps going up more and more, so faster.

Noah Kagan

Yeah. Every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human. Thank you for calling Amica insurance. Hey, uh, I was just in an accident.

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Lewis Howes

Man, I love this, man. This is powerful stuff. I don't know if this is what you were thinking about. No, this is the opposite of literally. What I was thinking.

Noah Kagan

We're gonna talk about, which is it's good. It's like, I like getting outside of the, like, our auto narrative. Yes, yes. And. But I don't think it's unique in the sense that we're all going through our own different challenge.

Like, everyone, you have your own personal life going on. Everyone watching has their own, like, I've got a family and I'm struggling, and maybe I'd like to be an entrepreneur, or I've got a day job and it sucks, or I want to get a job and, you know, we're all going through it. Exactly. We're all, frankly, the real answer is we're all figuring it out. We are, man.

And so it's been a journey that I'm happy to share, and I've been fortunate to be able to figure it out at 40, where I'm at, then figure it out at 60 or 70. Figuring it out. We're still figuring out. Once you have your kid and the relationship dynamics, it's going to be like, I don't know anything. What do I do now?

Lewis Howes

Right? Yeah. But I think one of the things that's cool is there's so many other people that have figured these things out or at least have gone through what we're going through. So it's been super cool having the baby that I call up friends. I'm like, well, what outfit?

Noah Kagan

What outfit should I buy? Well, for my baby mom, I was like, yo, what's cool clothing for her this week? I was buying cool clothes for her. Or I'm talking to my business partner, and he has a baby, and I'm like, what apps do you use? And he's like, oh, wonder weeks.

You got to check out wonder weeks and the bump. And so I have these apps now. I got to check these out. Oh, wonderweeks. I mean, I'm not.

Lewis Howes

Yeah, let's get you there, dude. Now I'm like, team, baby. Let's go, everyone. Once I'm ready, I'm going to be hitting you up, dude, please. You'll have, like, a year of experience by that time.

Noah Kagan

Oh, I'd love if people have kids out there or they babysat kids and they have comments or feedback. I love suggestions. Give your parenting tips below. Yeah, man. So that's been.

But there's people out there that have gone through it and like, same as appsumo. Who's these coaches that have already gone through it. And so there's been a lot of people that we've asked for help. I've got a few more questions I wanna ask you, but I want people to get the book million dollar weekend. I don't know for anything we talked about here is related to the book, but get the book million dollar weekend a surprisingly simple way to launch.

Lewis Howes

I'm into your business in 48 hours, packed with battle tested entrepreneurial strategies. You know, I think it's interesting because probably when you wrote this book, you were thinking about, okay, what are all the tactical things that I did and other people have done that they can actually launch with strategy and game plan and goal setting and team and delegation and optimization and all these different strategies which are time tested and backed. But a lot of these entrepreneurs, they are successful in that, but then they forget how to love themselves, love other people, have healthy relationship with self, feel worthy and deserving of the success they're having. Manage the success without overwhelm and stress. Like there's all these other emotional things that we need to learn once we create that if we don't learn them before.

And I'm glad you're talking a lot about those things right now. Speaking of having kids and billionaires, you've interviewed a lot of mega millionaires, billionaires who do have kids. And I'm assuming some of them have regrets around not being there for their kids as much as they like to, or not being as emotionally available, focusing more on the business than them. And then there's others that maybe did it really great and they showed up for their kids in a beautiful way and they built their business in a big way. How do without being a parent yourself yet, but interviewing a lot of parents with a lot of money, what have you learned from rich people with kids on how to not ruin their kids with access to a private jet, with access to unlimited money, with access to the best private teachers and everything, and, you know, just without spoiling their kids, how do you raise conscious, loving, generous, healthy, kind humans when you are mega rich?

Noah Kagan

Yeah, I'll find out. I'll tell you. What have you learned from people you've interviewed? Yeah, I mean, I'd say the number one thing is how are you leading by example in all aspects. Yeah.

So how are you showing up yourself? Are you Dela? And I was. I heard a story where these rich people hired a nanny and then the kids never even saw the parents Claus. Are you doing the dirty work?

Are you doing the dishes? Are you showing up for it? Are you just outsourcing everything and not showing up for your responsibility? And how are the parents treating money? Because I think if you earn money, which I think everyone should have a chance to do it, which they do, and you have access to be able to have help, to get groceries, to buy whatever things you want, and you shouldn't do that.

You should definitely do that. It makes your life easier. But I think it's figuring out, like, what are the parts you really want to impact on your kids, and how are you teaching them that? By doing it yourself. And so that's something that, with Mafe, it's talking about, like, how do we want to do we want to have a bunch of stuff?

And I'm like, no, we should, both of us have agreed, like, let's do the hard work in the beginning, and then we figure out, okay, where is it? We don't need to always do these things and we can hire help around that stuff. Sure, sure. So that, to me, is how we're looking at it. Wow.

I think most of the other people probably have been so focused on this money, and I remember with mafia, I brought her to my house. It's a $2 million house. It's gone down because the market's going down. You know, maybe it's one and a half by the time you watched it. I remember, brought her to my house, and she goes in the door, and I'm like, when I've brought over dates in the past, a very long time ago, I'm like, look at this house.

Lewis Howes

I'm the man. Look at this house. Look at this photo of me once you walk in, you know, right there, and she didn't give two. I was like, what the. I did all this work.

Noah Kagan

You're supposed to be impressed. She's like, and I remember, and I asked her about a few months ago, I was like, you came over to my house. You didn't care about it at all. She's like, I just care about who you are. Wow.

And I was like, what? I was like, I gotta do all this work. And it was a beautiful moment just for all of us. That's beautiful. Who are we without any of these extra things?

Right? Who are you as a parent? Who are you as an individual? How are you showing up as a partner in your business, in your relationship at work, whatever that is. And that was a great moment.

I'm very lucky to be with someone like her that in parenting, I have a great partner in that. And then how am I showing up that just as a dad. And I asked a friend of mine, how do you be a good parent? I feel there's people who had great parents and they go to therapy. There's people who had bad parents go to therapy and all these things.

The friend was like, it's hard to say how that's gonna happen. You just have to give a. And that's it. And that's it. Just show up, leave by example, and give a on these kids.

And you can't really control all the other outcomes of this stuff, but if you're doing that, you're doing your best around it. That's beautiful, man.

Lewis Howes

When we enter a relationship from survival or stress or lack of worthiness or neediness, I need someone to make me feel more loved because I don't have it myself. What do we usually attract and create when we're attracting from neediness? Survival and a lack of wholeness. Yeah, I think that all of that lack, all of that separation is separation from love. Right.

Joe Dispenza

And the problem is, is that we've just been conditioned into thinking that it comes from out there. It comes from that person, that drug, that circumstance, that thing, that object, this app, whatever it is. And you're relying on your outer world to change your inner world. And so when things are good, you feel good. When things are feel bad, you feel bad.

So you're out of fact, you're not a cause in any way. So what if, though, you had a way to find that independent of your outer world? The data we have suggests it's absolutely possible. Now you're free. You're free, like, you don't need anybody or anything.

You'd be a lot cooler to hang around with everybody. Be like, well, you know, that's just, that would allow them, I know this. Your presence would allow them to move out of survival. They would open their heart a little bit more, they trust you a little bit more. They'd be more kind, they'd be more soft spoken, more less egocentric.

Your presence would do that and may not be the first time, but they would start figuring out, like, wow, this guy is really different. Something's different about him. And that's just because you're present and you're giving them your attention without judgment. You see how hard it is to change. You've actually made that change because you've made that change.

And you see that you've made that change, but you see that in them. You're no longer judging them. You have compassion for them. Like, dude, that's a tough one. It's tough.

It took me a long time to get over that. But you're not judging them. Like, what's wrong with you? You're like, oh, my God, I totally know what that's like. You've crossed that river.

So, of course, you would never offer them advice unless they asked you. You would probably give them a one line. Or, I mean, people who heal in our work so many times, you know, people in a state of desperation will say, what meditation did you do? And they laugh at them. Like, there's nothing to do with the meditation.

It was just. I changed. Like, and it was. It was a. It was an arduous process.

But they're telling a difference. They're telling the story of their future. They're not telling the story of their past, their ex or their betrayer or whoever that person is. They have no regrets about that because why? They haven't wished them well.

Lewis Howes

They helped their house. It's not like they're even trying to forgive, to be spiritual. You know, people who try to forgive, like, I'm really going to try to forgive them. Working harder. Yeah.

Joe Dispenza

It's just not how that works. Like, you are in love. Like, you don't have to try to forgive. You're just, you just don't want to lose this feeling. And you take your attention off that person.

You're good. You. There's a lot of freedom in that. And that's how people heal. They're building their own field.

They're giving their body their energy back again. They're taking their power back in so many ways. So, and then there is. Then there is community, a collective consciousness. Like, I like great conversation.

I like spirited conversation. I like to be scientists or people in my life that I love. I like to engage in just what the limit is. And everybody take us on a journey to see how far we can go. I don't like to talk about things where there's pain or suffering or what I don't.

Where there's ego. I don't really like that. Like, that's a consciousness and everybody's done it. But if you're truly on the path that evolution, you outgrow it. Yes.

You outgrow complaining. Like, you just, you just don't, you don't want to make yourself unhappy anymore. You outgrow talking about yourself like you're better than anybody else, because if you do, you got to face off with that person tomorrow and overcome them tomorrow. After a while, you're like, dude, just stop that. So you don't have to deal with you like that anymore.

So you just start. You start outgrowing things that are just a side effect of your evolution. It's not like you have to try to do it. It's just the side effect of a change in consciousness, a change in energy, a change in awareness, a change in emotional states. And so in the heart, it is the selfless place.

It's a selfless place. We give up from the heart. We care from the heart. We're kind in our heart. We're compassionate in our heart, inspired in our heart.

You know, we fall in love with our heart. We're grateful in our heart. And so I think people feel with every other part of their body but their heart, like, they just don't feel with it. Right. Practice feeling with your heart.

Lewis Howes

Yes. And, God, we have such great data. You know, we put these monitors on people for 24 hours. Right. And I used to think primarily it was women that had these moments.

Joe Dispenza

Now we're seeing that men have them, too. In fact, the men whose spouses take them or partners take them to an event, they really don't want to come. These guys are going to be fine. They have really, really big moments. So we see them in their meditation, where you can these little blocks of five minutes, and you see the heart just drop in the coherence, and it's just beautiful lines, beautiful looks.

You can see this. It's very easy to see you see this person sustaining it for 45 minutes during their meditation. So you're like, hmm, all right, this person nailed it. They go to the next meditation, another 45 minutes. Again, done it once, done it twice.

This is. Looks like this person's getting a skill. All of a sudden. They do it a third time, another 45 minutes. And then, lo and behold, those three meditations in one day.

Then they're in their room and they're unpacking and getting ready for bed. They're still wearing the heart rate monitor. And while they're not in a meditation for 1 hour, while they're just unpacking, getting ready, there's an enormous amount of hard coherence that's taking place for a whole hour. Why? Because just like a person who has a panic attack, who's embracing the worst case scenario in their mind every day and emotionally feeling the anxiety and the fear.

If that event actually occurred, that image of that emotion, that stimulus and response, that thought and feeling has conditioned the body to become the mind of anxiety. The body has a panic attack with you or without you. Try as you may to control it with your conscious mind. You can't control, you program it subconsciously. Right?

So is it possible to have a spontaneous love attack? And that's what she had. She had 1 hour, or her body went into ecstasy and you could see it. I said, love attack. A love attack.

I said to her, what did you do? She said, and I saw it. She laid, she got in bed and she laid down and rolled over and went to sleep. So you see her about an hour and ten minutes, perfect hard coherence and just see it drop off into sleep. 13, 1400 different chemicals released to restore and repair the body.

So the love that you feel is, is the glue that creates connection on a cellular level, on a molecular level, on an atomic level. Peel the atom all the way back right to the center of the nucleus, and you have nothing but energy. And that energy is what's called low entropy. And low entropy is high order, and high order is high energy, and it's a lot of, lot of power. So as you move closer to that source of everything physical and material, we have such great data to show that people actually run into it.

And when they do, their autonomic nervous system goes into these elevated states of high, high, high gamma brainwave patterns. Now, gamma is super consciousness. Gamma is very conscious, very aware. So the person's whole entire autonomic nervous system is processing hundreds of standard deviations of gamma outside of normal. That's not a little gamma.

And it's so coherent. Now, the autonomic nervous system touches every single cell in the body. It controls and coordinates all those systems, right? So now imagine stress is autonomic dysregulation, incoherence. This is autonomic regulation, but this is not a little regulation.

This is enormous amount of energy that's taking place in the brain. And the autonomic nervous system is on fire. And every single cell in the body is getting touched by that frequency. And that frequency is carrying information. And energy is informing matter.

And that connection creates that feeling of pure love, of ecstasy or bliss. And now the person takes a piece of it with them, they become more of it and it becomes them. And so we measure their blood, and there's a lot of oxytocin. We measure their blood, and there's information in that blood that wasn't there before that heals cancer, that reverses Alzheimer's, that causes viruses to not enter the cell. I mean, it causes the microbiome to change in a matter of days.

So that interaction with that unifying field of energy that exists beyond our senses, whose signature is oneness, whose signature is wholeness, whose signature is pure love, means then that it lives within you and all around you. Then you'd be remembering who you are and where you came from, which is pure love. And it is the most familiar, unfamiliar feeling you'll ever have. And it's not chemical. Wrong.

It's electric. When you have that moment, many times, there's an upgrade that takes place in the body. There's the disease. Now it's gone. There's the eczema.

It's gone. There's the MyasthEnia gravis. Now it's gone. There's the Parkinson's. Now it's gone.

There's the blindness. Now it's gone. There's energies in forming matter. And that enormous amount of regulation, high, high amounts of regulation, is raising the body in frequency. It's raising the body in Light.

And all diseases lowering frequency. So the person is connecting to something Way bigger than their senses, way something beyond their senses, and it's coming from within them. Now, you only need one of those, and you're okay from that point forward. And the way you see life, some veil, some illusion, some conditioning, some hypnosis is removed, and you're now way more relaxed in your heart and way more awake in your brain instead of unconscious, stressed out and in a program. Right.

Lewis Howes

And when I think you're more awake in your heart and your brain, you start to attract more great opportunities, and you start to see, is this person in alignment with my type of resonating? Resonating in that consciousness. Exactly. You'll be able to find your tribe. It'll be as obvious as anything.

Exactly. Whether you're looking for a partner or friends or community or, you know, partner trust. Exactly. You resonate, and you feel that, and. And the heart is a strong element in the creative process.

Joe Dispenza

So if you have a coherent brain, then you're sending the signal out into the quantum field. That's the potential in the quantum field that you're selecting that already exists, and you got to have an intention. And the more coherent the brain, the more the electrical signal takes place in the field. But if you want to create the experience, the synchronicity, the opportunity, you got to need a coherent heart. And the heart is the magnetic field, and the magnetic field draws things to us.

So now we don't have to go get it any longer because that's what we do in three dimensional reality. All of a sudden you start noticing hell really didn't do anything. Well, I got the email, I got the phone call, I got the opportunities, and I met this person, led to this, and wow. And all of a sudden I have this life. And so if you're going to believe in that future that you're imagining with all of your heart, it's got to be open and activated.

We train people to get in that place, and when they're in that place, they have wonderful relationships with everything and everybody because they're okay with themselves. Yes. Can you explain? I love this explanation. At your retreat, you talk about this over and over, sending an attention with a signal from your thought out into the field and then with your heart drawing this intention from the physical world to you physically.

Yeah. Can you explain? Every time you say this, I love it. And it just reminds me about the power of intention and having a coherent heart and brain connection. Right.

Lewis Howes

And those are the tools, being so clear on your thought and thinking of why you want this thing, you know, not wanting it from a place of lack, but already feeling grateful. All these different things that you teach in the retreat. But can you explain what this does when you have a signal from the brain and you have a magnet from the heart? How does that work in the physical world? And how can we apply this to, you know, if someone's been single for a long time and they're like, you know what?

I'm ready for love. I'm ready for a greater connection, and I've let go of my past, I've forgiven. I feel like I'm in a space that's allowing me to feel love myself and I'm allowing to bring a partner to me, how does this connect to that as well? Okay, well, let's talk about how we typically create. Okay, we basically create in lack of separation.

Joe Dispenza

You're walking down the street and you see someone with a nice car and you're like, I love that car and you don't have it. You want that car because you don't have it. So you're going to go out and work or do whatever you can to get that car. And in order for you to get that car, we're in the plane of demonstration. You got to do things.

So there's the thought of having the car and then there's the experience of having it and the distance between the thought of the car and the experience of getting it is called time, right? That separation. At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a house. It's your home. The place that's filled with memories, the early days of figuring it out to the later years of still figuring it.

Lewis Howes

Out.

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Joe Dispenza

So then in three dimensional reality, you gotta. Everything that we do to bring those two points of consciousness together takes time and energy. So we got to do things. We got to get up and go try things and try things out and do things and work. And then you buy the car finally, and then you may have to make payments, so you got to keep working to pay it off, right?

So it takes a lot of time and energy. So in three dimensional reality, the plane of demonstration, there's a separation between the thought of what you want and the experience of having it. You got to do things to get it, and that's called time. So then the cause and the effect, one point of consciousness, another point of consciousness, the separation is called time. Okay, well, you can get really good at that.

You can get trained, you can go to school. You can make a lot of the right choices, you can meet the right people. You can figure out ways to accumulate more things and get all the things you want that you think that makes you happy, right? But after a while, you're like, some people never actually create the thing they want. They spend their entire life lack because they're waiting for that event to happen, to take away the lack of not having it, right?

So their senses are fooling them into the illusion of separation, right? So they're creating matter to matter and matter to matter takes time and energy and gets really good at doing it. Okay, so there's this invisible field of unifying energy that exists beyond the senses that's unifying everything physical and material and the forces of nature. The quantum physicists have been trying to unify gravity and strong and weak nuclear forces and electromagnetism. There's some intelligence that's keeping all of this in order after an explosion, like after an explosion, is normally disorder, but we've got a lot of order here.

So unifying all those principles is really what quantum physics is about, and finding mathematics to do it. But undeniably, in this realm, in the quantum realm, there's no separation. There's nothing physical, there's nothing material, there's no matter. That's all taking place in three dimensional reality. It's all energy, it's all frequency, it's all vibration, it's all information, it's all consciousness, it's all thought.

That is that invisible field of energy. So, okay, that invisible field of energy. Einstein said the field is the sole governing agency of the particle. He didn't say the particle controls the particle. The field controls the particle.

So if I can change information in the field, I should be able to affect the particle matter. So it turns out that an atom is 99.999,999% energy information. There's nothing physical or material there, 0.001 material. The probability of us seeing the truth of reality is zero. Wow.

And we are only seeing a small spectrum of frequency, the rainbow, visible light bouncing off the most stable form of energy called matter, giving us this hologram, this illusion of separation. Okay, so if there was a way to create from the field instead of from matter and move closer to source and create from a place of wholeness and less from separation, I'd have to be able to get to the field. Yes. So then, if where you place your attention is where you place your energy, and you could develop the ability to take all of your attention off your body, all your attention off all the people in your life, all the objects and things, your cell phone, your car, your house, whatever, all the relationships of all the people, all the places you need to go, the place you're sitting, the place you grew up, the place you sleep, the place you work, and nothing about the predictable future of the familiar past and settle into the present moment, you would go from a somebody to a nobody, from a someone to a no one, from something to nothing, from somewhere to nowhere, from some time to no time. That is the moment you're pure consciousness.

You would be disinvesting all of your attention, all of your energy, out of this three dimensional reality, out of the known and placing it on the unknown. Now, let's demystify the process. Take away everything physical and material in the universe, take away the earth, take away the moon, take away all the planets, all the moons from the planets, take away the sun, the light from the sun, the stars, all the light from the stars. The galaxies take everything away, wipe everything out. Physical material.

Noah Kagan

What are you left with? Nothing. Nothing. Turns out that. That nothing is filled with a lot of frequency and energy.

That's true. And I don't know how to explain nothing to a materialist, but when you can linger in that place without a name, without a face, without a body weight, without a diet, without a disease, without a profession, without an identity in any way, without a past, and you can linger as pure consciousness, something really profound happens to the brain. Different compartments of the brain that have been modulated or compartmentalized or subdivided because of the stress hormones. You know, shift your attention from one person to another person to another problem to another thing. That habituation fragments the brain.

Joe Dispenza

The brain becomes a house divided against itself. And you narrow your focus, you over focus. You become obsessive about something. That's what we do in stress. It turns out if you open your awareness to nothing, the brain starts getting highly organized.

Different compartments of the brain that were modulated start unifying. The brain starts firing this more holistic state. And the whole entire brain is resonating at the same frequency. Now, you get that brain going for that period of time like that. Waves start, that are coherent, start interfering with each other.

And when they do, they create bigger amplitudes. The higher amplitude, the higher the energy in the brain. So now you have resonance in the brain, and the brain starts getting very mathematical, very organized, right? So that brain that's coherent, the entire brain is functioning as one neurological network. The two hemispheres are coming together, and there's this kind of psychic union called wholeness.

Now, that state of coherence in moving out of the beta brainwave states into a slower brainwave state, produces electrical signals. Yes? And that electrical signal is the intention. That's the more clear your intention is. The more coherent the brain is, the stronger the signal.

Okay? So if you decided to create from the field instead of from matter, and you were just pure consciousness, and I asked you to send the signal out from a coherent brain, and whatever that thing is that you wanted, you could train you how to do that, then you would be shimmering the entire vacuum, that entire void. You are that you're not you any longer. You're the source, right? So if you're the source and you're sending the signal out, then you're.

You're touching the consciousness of everybody, of everyone, of everything, of everywhere. Every time, the entire field is becoming electric because of your intention. Wow. Okay, now, if you're source, why would you go anywhere to get anything? And so consciousness is coherent brain, and then the energy of the heart is love, and pure, pure love is source.

So if I asked you to fall in love with that future, and I asked you to draw the future to you with the magnetic field of the heart, the heart produces a magnetic field up to 3 meters wide that's studied. So now love is the glue that holds the atom together. Okay, okay. If I get a coherent heart, the more coherent my heart is, the more energy in my heart, the more I can draw my future to me. So you send the signal out, you draw the experience to you, and now you don't go anywhere to get anything.

When there's vibrational match between your energy and some potential in the quantum field of when there's a match, you start seeing those synchronicities. You synchronize your energy to that possibility. And so you start seeing the coincidences and the synchronicities and the opportunities. I'm not talking about a parking space. I'm talking about, like, real life events.

Lewis Howes

Yes. This is a critical moment for people, because I think people don't realize how powerful they really are. When that event happens in their life, they will look back at every single betrayer, everything that happened in their past, and they won't care. They won't care any longer. That's the moment.

Joe Dispenza

Their past no longer exists, because they're proving to themselves what they innately already know that they may have forgotten, which is why that is the creator of their life. And when you have that synchronicity, you are humbled by the truth. And you feel this sense of greatness, like, real greatness, like, I am honored to be human. I'm honored to be alive. I'm honored that I actually created.

It's not the. It's not the wealth. You can ask anybody in our community. It's not the health. It's who you became.

And people think they want this or they want that, but I'm telling you, what they want is wholeness. Yes. And you have wholeness that you no longer want. How could you want when you're whole? Game change is really amazing.

And so the closer we get to source, and that's our work, how deep can you go? And we teach people how to go as deep as they can. There's a brainwave state that takes place that I can predict. When we see it, I know the person's going to have a big moment. In fact, we can predict it, we can replicate it, and we can induce it.

And the person goes into these really slow theta brainwave states, and that's when they're in a hypnotic state. They're very suggestible to information and they're in coherent theta. And when they move outside of normal, we know the next moment is they're going to hook up and the brain's going to go into gamma and they're going to feel a whole lot of love, not a little love, like a lot of love. And it's going to be an arousal and it's going to be. It's going to be bliss to them.

They're having, they're seeing the unknown self, the 99.99% of reality that we're unaware of, and don't exclude yourself from that. And so the person has a moment when the unknown and a profound mystical moment or an understanding or a download or a connection, the source or a healing or something that takes place. They took a bite of wholeness. They took a bite of it. They became more whole.

And when you're more whole, you don't need as much. That's right. When you don't need as much, you're really cool to be around. Like, it's really easy to be around you. In fact, if you're so whole that you feel so abundant that the only thing you want to do is give.

We have people in this work that have created millions of dollars and they're giving it away. And the more they give it away, the more money they keep getting. That's the experiment for them. That's their experiment. They're trying that out as an experiment.

Lewis Howes

Why? Because an abundant person would never hold on to anything. They have more than they need. So the side effect of creating from the field instead of from matter shortens the distance between the thought of what we want and the experience of having it. And that takes, means there's less time.

Joe Dispenza

And the greater frequency, the closer we are to source, the less separation is two points of consciousness. It means there's less time and it should happen in a shorter amount of time in three dimensional reality. In that event, it's none of your business when it's gonna happen or how it's gonna happen, because the moment you try to predict it, you're back to the newtonian model of reality. You're wanting a meeting again. You're laying a known over the unknown and the consciousness that lives within us.

That source says, I honor free will. Go for it. Do it your way. Yes. And so we have to lay down the very thing we used our whole life to get what we want for something greater to occur.

And that's not an easy thing. Oh, man. Because there's such a propensity to jump in there and do control it or force it. And so we control, we force, we predict, we fight for it, we manipulate, we cheat, we lie, we steal, we do everything when we're matter, trying to change matter, to take away that lack of separation. But if there's an alternative way to do that, to shorten the distance between one point of consciousness and another point between cause and effect, and you start believing that you're the creator of your reality, you stop trying so hard.

You start. And people in this work, I think that the excitement for me and what I'm proud of in terms of our community is that they do the work not because they have to or they want to please God or do the right thing. It's not that they don't want the magic to end in their life. They don't want it to end. It's not like, oh, geez, I got to go create my life.

It's kind of like someone sent me a text just yesterday, a very, very, very wealthy, very successful person, and he said to me, I need to take a break from creating. Like, I'm going to take a break. Is that okay? Is it okay? Like, his whole life has just gotten super beautiful, and he's so alive again.

All these wonderful things happen. He said, I almost don't feel worthy. I almost don't feel worthy. There's so many great things. The only times you showed up for yourself, you aren't worthy.

That's why it's happening. You aren't worthy. You showed up, man. If you don't show up, you don't believe you're a creator. You show up.

It means you do believe. And so many people, as I said, they may say, well, I think this stuff works, but I don't know if it works. For me, this is a big moment, because if you don't show up, then you don't believe it's possible. But if you show up, you still believe it's possible. So showing up for yourself every day, investing in yourself, is investing in your future.

And people say to me, well, I did it for two weeks, and nothing happened. I say to them, you're not that good. Like, I don't know what else to tell you. It's not like it doesn't work for you. It's just like, learn a little bit more knowledge, understand what you're doing.

Your health condition isn't changing. Okay, your relationship. You want a relationship, and you want a relationship in love. And you're living the three quarters of your day in fear. You think you're going to attract love.

You got to be able to feel that feeling instead of fear. And when it's the hardest, it matters the most. Now you're worthy, right? You're worthy of love. You are worthy.

When you get to that point where you're worthy of love, it's not like entitlement. Like, I'm worthy of love. That's not how that works. You are worthy of it. You're so worthy of it.

You're okay without anybody. That's when it gets really good. That's powerful. When you don't need it. Because you don't need anything.

Lewis Howes

Because you feel whole. Exactly. Now that I call that the natural state of being. That's why we practice so much relaxed in the heart and awaken the brain, because there are so many biological changes, neurological genetic changes that take place in that present moment. So many wonderful changes.

Joe Dispenza

So the person who wants the wealth, the person who wants the relationship, they can't be saying, or the health, they can't be saying, well, how come I'm not healed? The person who's. The person who's in the process of healing would never say that. That's the person. That's the old self, right?

That says, how come I don't have a new relationship? Well, we'll figure it out. Like, two weeks went by, and were you spending the rest of your day in fear and in lack? Were you hating yourself and hating your life? What do you think?

You think you're worthy of love at this point? You're not going to be happy. No one's going to make you happy until you make you happy. And that changes everything. You find that person and they're happy for no reason.

You gotta. And not just happy, like always happy, but a sensibility that they can manage themselves and manage their emotions and manage their attention in such a way that's admirable. Like, you're inspired by that person, your relationship, the person that you're with is an inspiration to you. Like, wow, I'm inspired by this person. I'm moved by this person.

I want to. I want to show up for this person. I want to give as much as they give in this relationship. I want to care as much as they care. I want to be as kind as they are.

I want to see when everybody else reacts. This person doesn't react. Something is cool about that person that gives the person or the people that were in relationship permission to show up differently. And that's when it becomes infectious. That's when it becomes wonderful.

Lewis Howes

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness plus channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review.

I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

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Every day our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human. Thank you for calling Amica insurance. Hey, uh, I was just in an accident. Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

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