464: Harnessing The Power Of Acceptance

This episode focuses on the transformative power of acceptance in our lives and relationships, particularly during challenging times.

1. Acceptance is crucial for reducing suffering and enhancing happiness.
2. Resistance to painful experiences increases suffering.
3. Practical meditation techniques, such as "GAIN meditation," can help cultivate gratitude, acceptance, intention, and non-judgment.
4. Acceptance in relationships involves respecting boundaries and embracing imperfections without forcing change.
5. The practice of mindfulness and intentional living can rewire our brains towards more positive thinking and presence.

1: Introduction to Acceptance

Dr. Greg Hammer and host Chase discuss the critical role of acceptance in overcoming life's challenges. Greg Hammer: "Acceptance is essential for happiness because the world does not always comport with our wants and needs."

2: Deep Dive into Personal Experiences

Dr. Hammer shares his personal story of loss and acceptance, providing insights into how acceptance has shaped his approach to suffering. Greg Hammer: "If I resist the pain of my son's loss rather than accept it, my suffering increases."

3: Strategies for Building Acceptance

Exploration of various strategies and meditations that aid in developing a deeper sense of acceptance in daily life. Greg Hammer: "The GAIN practice helps us focus on gratitude, acceptance, intention, and non-judgment."

4: Acceptance in Relationships

Discussion on how acceptance can be applied in romantic relationships, including maintaining boundaries and embracing differences. Greg Hammer: "A big part of being in a happy and healthy relationship is fully accepting our partner for who they are."

1. Practice Mindfulness: Regular mindfulness meditation can enhance presence and acceptance.
2. Reflect on Gratitude: Daily reflections on what you are grateful for can shift focus from resistance to acceptance.
3. Set Clear Boundaries: Understanding and respecting personal and relational boundaries can foster healthier interactions.
4. Embrace Imperfections: Accepting personal and others' imperfections can lead to more genuine relationships.
5. Seek Professional Guidance: Consulting with therapists can provide strategies to better handle emotional challenges.

Understanding to accept what we can change verse what we cannot change in our lives is a huge part of living a happier life. Listen to today's show to learn how to cultivate acceptance and how it will improve your relationships.

People

Greg Hammer, Chase Kosterlitz

Companies

Stanford University School of Medicine

Books

"Gain without Pain: The Happiness Handbook for Healthcare Professionals"

Guest Name(s):

Greg Hammer

Content Warnings:

None

Jace
Hello. Thank you so much for tuning in to today's show where I welcome Doctor Greg Hammer. And Doctor Hammer is a recently retired professor at Stanford University School of Medicine, pediatric intensive care physician, pediatric anesthesiologist, wellness and mindfulness lecturer, and the author of Gain without Pain, the Happiness Handbook for Healthcare Professionals. And today, doctor Hamer and I talk about acceptance, the big a. How do we accept the tough things in life?

How do we accept loss? If you're going through a breakup, this is going to be super valuable. If you're in a relationship, how do we accept our partner? How do we accept ourselves? And really just how do we accept this human experience?

It's a constant practice and a lot of our suffering comes from resistance, which is the opposite of acceptance, as Doctor Hammer describes. And he walks us through some really great tools and meditations for working towards acceptance. I really enjoy Doctor Hammer's approach and the tips and reminders that he had in the conversation I had with him. I think you guys will too. Thank you so much for tuning in.

Enjoy today's show.

Hi Doctor Hammer, thanks so much for joining me on the show today. Great to be with you, Jace. Today we're going to talk about something that I don't think we've dedicated a whole episode to, but something that's, I think, super important, something I've tried to incorporate into my life that's definitely come up and that is harnessing the power of acceptance. So I thought we could start by having you share with our listeners why you enjoy sharing this particular idea with people, why it's valuable, and then we'll dive into how we can practice it. Sure.

Greg Hammer
As you may know, my first book is entitled Gain without Pain. And gain is an acronym for gratitude, acceptance, intention, and non judgment. I consider those the four pillars of happiness, and they're really very closely interconnected, so it's almost impossible to talk about one without the other three. However, acceptance is essential for happiness because the world, as you know, does not always comport with our apparent wants and needs. And if we resist things that are uncomfortable or painful for us, we simply magnify our suffering.

The formula in the book is, and we love formulas in medicine is suffering equals pain times resistance. And I guess for those who are really into math, you could consider acceptance the inverse of resistance. So then it would be suffering equals pain times one over acceptance or pain over acceptance. And so when acceptance is big, suffering is small. So, not to get too technical about it, but I think the pain is there.

Many of us have experienced loss. I lost my son at the age of 29, eight years ago. That pain is there. It's not going away. If I resist it rather than accept it, though, my suffering increases.

And there's so many ways to resist things that are uncomfortable or painful for us. We can try not to think about them ever, even though it would benefit us from sitting with certain things that are uncomfortable. If it comes to another person that's creating, or we're mutually creating an uncomfortable situation, we can depersonalize them, blame it on them. If we're suffering because a friend is ill, we can depersonalize them and say, well, they smoked or they did this or that. We have a lot of ways of resisting what's uncomfortable for us as opposed to accepting it so simply as the serenity prayer would have it.

Chase? I would say we need to discern between what we can change and what we cannot change that is painful or uncomfortable, and work on accepting and even embracing that which we cannot change. In the context of romantic relationships, one of the big things that I've seen as a theme and something I've tried to work on is accepting myself and accepting my partner and not trying to change them. Within that, we have to have boundaries and values because we shouldn't accept something that violates a boundary. However, I think a big part of being in a happy and healthy relationship is fully accepting our partner for who they are without trying to change them.

Jace
And if only they could do this, then I'll be happy. Well, that is not accepting them. That, in a sense, is resistance. So how do you think about acceptance in the context of a romantic relationship? Well, I'm no expert on relationships per se, but I would say, just to your points, first, boundaries.

Greg Hammer
So when somebody trespasses and really crosses boundary lines, again, we need to consider whether that's something that we can do anything about. And generally, there is something we can do about it. We can stand up for what's right and what's right for us. So somebody who perhaps not in a romantic relationship necessarily, but somebody is pressuring us to do something we don't believe in, we can change that. I mean, we can stand up for ourselves and say, no, I'm not going to do that.

So I think it's case by case, but I think that I suspect, like you, I'm a very introspective person. And so if I feel someone is crossing a boundary, my first reaction is to consider, well, is that a hard and fast boundary? Is that something that should be a red line? And we all create red lines if you will, in our lives. And sometimes we have to reevaluate whether that's something we should reconsider.

Maybe there's something of benefit or certainly nothing wrong with what the other person is doing. And it's not really a red line. We see that in the, in politics all the time. And geopolitics, red lines are drawn, but theyre not always permanent. So, again, if we feel somebody is trespassing a boundary, I think the first thing we should do is affirm by introspection whether that boundary is really a fixed red line.

And if it isnt, then maybe change the way we look at things. But if somebodys really trespassing and is something that we feel strongly about, then we need to stand up for ourselves. And that's usually something we can do. So that's usually not something we cannot change. But I think, again, things are fluid in life.

And we should always be reconsidering when there's a conflict as to whether we need to make an adjustment or stand up for what we feel is right. I want to go back to accepting a difficult life challenge. I think one that comes up in the context of relationships is a breakup where there can be all kinds of feelings of resistance even as it's happening. I don't want this to happen. And not accepting the reality of that the relationship is not working, that it's nothing good for us, whatever it is, that logistically, it's not working out.

Jace
What are some of the steps that someone can go through when moving from resistance to acceptance? I think we really need to sit with the discomfort that we're experiencing, in that case, in a relationship. And the way that I do that is to do my gain meditation. So, not to get off on a tangent, but I think we have to be circumspect in kind of a 360 manner. And so my daily practice includes getting up, opening the blinds, doing my morning hygiene.

Greg Hammer
And then finding a comfortable place to sit and doing the gain practice, which takes three to five minutes. It starts with closing her eyes and really focusing on slow, deep breathing, deliberate breathing. And that activates our parasympathetic nervous system through the vagus nerve. And kind of slows our heart rate and instills a sense of calm. And then it's a self guided contemplation of the gain element.

So we first start with that for which we're grateful. So if the issue is a relationship, we may actually remind ourselves of what we're grateful for with respect to our partner. And there are usually several things that we've gained from our relationship loving kindness. So we can be grateful for what our partner, the way they've treated us in the good ways. And then we transition to acceptance.

So we really are in a place, breathing deeply and slowly with our eyes closed to really let things sink in in an objective manner and contemplate what it is about a relationship that we can change and what we can't change. And sometimes this is a deficiency in ourselves and maybe something we can work on and we can change. But in other cases, and I've experienced this, and I think you probably have, too, it just turns out that we're not the right mixed. We're not really the best partner for each other. We don't bring out the best in each other.

We have issues, each of us, perhaps, that conflict and just can't be resolved. And if that's the conclusion to which we come, then as we're doing our gain meditation and contemplating acceptance, we may just have to accept that. But then we go to the eye and gain, which is intention. And really we start with what it is to be fully present. And we may, as we slowly take deep breaths, contemplate just our current sensations, the pressure of the chair against our body, the tingling at the soles of our feet, the sound of an airplane going by in the distance.

And we link this to our slow, deep breathing. And then we transition to the endgame, which is non judgment. And we're all prone to judge, and we judge ourselves most harshly, but we also judge others. And obviously, this is a significant issue in relationships. And so we train ourselves.

We're rewiring our brain by doing this practice to drop judgments, to see things as they are. And so one exercise we can do during this part of the gain meditation is we can picture an image of the earth, apparently suspended in space, one of these beautiful NASA images, and remind ourselves that the earth is beautiful, but it really is neither good nor bad. It doesn't possess the qualities of goodness or badness. And it's only logical for me to think, too chase, that I am just a human being. I am simply the person that I am.

I'm neither good nor bade. I I'm just a person. I'm just a human being. Neither good nor bad. And then we link this with our slow, deep breathing, and then return our focus to the breath, and then slowly open our eyes and we're ready to go out in the world.

But when we go through that exercise, as I said, we're rewiring our brain, which is otherwise wired to be rather negative and distracted, not present. So when we put ourselves in the present moment and remind ourselves that for which we have to be grateful, that which we need to accept what our real intention is and drop the judgments, then I think we can see things, including our relationship, more clearly. And I have, in that situation, decided that this relationship is not right for me. And I love this person. And, I mean, this is actually going on in my life right now.

You know, I was with somebody for several years, but it just turned out, I think, we didn't bring out the best in each other, and we had conflicts that we just couldn't resolve despite all of the positive things in our relationship. And, you know, I just came to the conclusion that this is probably not the relationship for me for the rest of my life. And, you know, I've got some professional help to underscore what I could do and maybe what I was bringing to the table, that might be something I can change. But in the end, I just took this step. And actually, a dear friend of mine, who's a psychologist, very well known guy, does a lot of work with compassion and forgiveness, said to me, Greg, that was very brave of you to transition that relationship.

And because there's love, there's a lot of good things, but you decided after really considering it carefully, that it just wasn't right for both of you. And I really appreciated that. And I'm very firm on remaining loving friends with this person. And so far so good. But everything we do should come from a place of love.

But as you know, sometimes relationships are just. Are just not meant to be. And then I think we need to accept that. But hopefully we can go about any breakup, if you will, or transition in a relationship with loving kindness and remind ourselves of these important elements. Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors.

Jace
Thank you for sharing that. And I want to go over some of what you shared with the gain meditation and just as a way to walk ourselves through thinking about something, understanding what we can change and what we can't change. So in the context of a relationship, I think what comes to mind are like logistic things. You know, let's say you're in a long distance relationship. There's certain realities to that that you can change, maybe, and have a conversation around that and you can't.

And just being honest with yourself or if it's someone that it's not long distance, fully accepting them, to me, is part of that, like not going, what can I change about this person so that we relate better. I think we can change how we communicate with them if there's something that bothers us. But we can't change their history and their trauma and what they bring to the table. I think that's a huge important element. And then you mentioned intention.

And I think about that in the context of relationship, of like, what is my intention for this relationship to get from it? Am I looking to have a lifetime partner? Am I looking to build a family and getting clear on that and then sharing that with our partner? And hopefully they can do the same. How do you think about intention in the relationship of a relationship?

Greg Hammer
Well, that's a great question. Let's say going to the long distance relationship. And again, I'm not a relationship expert. I'm happy to share with you my general philosophies and my mental and spiritual health practices. But I think I've been in that situation too, where I was having a long distance relationship.

And it presents difficulties. Is this ever going to change? Is that person ever going to want to relocate? Am I willing to relocate? And am I satisfied?

And is this productive for me and for the other person to be in this situation? And that sort of thing comes up all the time in relationships, not just long distance relationships. And so, you know, it's difficult. This is sort of. It goes to kind of the art of living, right?

There's no black and white, there's no concrete answer. And, you know, I think it's a very personal decision. I think the main thing is that are we coming from a place of loving kindness in this relationship? And are we just trying to fulfill some need that we have that is never going to be fulfilled? So just kind of 30,000 foot view.

I believe that we, many of us, if not all of us, feel a sense of lack at times and maybe much of the time. And we tend to try to satisfy that lack by reaching for substances, objects, relationships. And so as it comes to relationships, sometimes we keep encountering the same difficulties in relationships from one to another to another. And the reason ultimately may be that we're trying to satisfy something that we feel is lacking through this relationship. And that will never work.

So when I feel like I have a sense of something missing, I feel a little bit lost. I'm feeling a bit down. My response has come to be, I need to look within and sit with this. And again, this is where my gain practice really is helpful to me. I need to sit with it, go through this contemplation and see if I can identify what it is that's really bothering me, what it is that I feel like I really lack and remind myself that I'm not going to fill that sense of lack through substances, objects or relationships.

And so I think this is a very common situation, it seems to me, and I value your opinion. Certainly when we are in a relationship, when it's new, there's all kinds of exciting things about it, exploration, getting to know this other person, maybe finding things about ourselves that we're learning through this interaction. But it often then transitions to when the things calm down. And maybe the physical attraction is kind of neutralizing. Let's say the same issues may come up time and again and they relate to ourselves something.

It needs to be satisfied within ourselves. And we're seeking to do that in a relationship when in fact, we need to sit within ourselves and decide what that lack really is and how can we fix that. And so I don't know if that is directly responsive to your question. I think we need to be very circumspect about what it is, what our intention is, and is our intention to try to fill a need that we have. And we may learn the hard way through repeated experience that that's never going to work out in a relationship.

We're not going to. We're not going to satisfy ourselves and fill this sense of lack through a relationship with others. It does answer my question, and it brings about an important point of when we feel something. I think it's definitely my tendency that I'm trying to work away from is instead of looking outwards, you know, if only my life would be different in this way, then I'll be okay. If my partner would do this, then I'll be okay looking within.

Jace
And that's such a valuable thing to be able to do. And sometimes it is going to be the situation with our partner, and that is creating the unease, and that is why you are feeling anxious, whatever. But often it's from within. And recently, you know, I have a girlfriend and we're in a long distance relationship. And I kind of.

Yeah, like, I acted out in a bit of a way that I'm nothing proud of. You know, I kind of picked a fight when there wasn't really one there. And then I pretty fast in the same conversation realized, oh, wait, this is not about the thing that I was bringing up. It's about some unease within me. And it was a conversation that needed to happen between us.

It was related to the relationship, but it was kind of an unmet, I don't say unmet need, but a unmet need addressed wound or whatever it can trigger whatever it comes up in different words. But for me, it was more of something that I was unclear about, and I was unclear about it for myself and for the relationship. And that's where I realized I needed to get more clear on my intention. What was my intention with picking the fight? It wasn't about the thing that I picked the fight about to address.

It was feeling some unease about the distance and some anxiety around it. And once I got to that, I apologized, and we ended up getting to a great place. And in fact, she was also in the same place, but just wasn't acting out. But it was creating some unease and then getting fully present at the part of the intention meditation that you mentioned. I want to talk about that because I find I can be an overthinker.

And especially, I think, like a lot of us in the context of relationships, you know, we can overthink our job and definitely challenges there, but when we have another person and the dynamic of that and relating, I think there can be a lot of overthinking. And how do you think about, and I know you say you're not a relationship expert, but you are a in a sense, these tools can help us be more expert in relating. And how do you think about just being present, getting clear on our intention, but then just being present with the relationship and letting it unfold and not having to always solve everything? I feel like having a relationship advice podcast and being in this world, we're getting all these tools to solve or fix. And I think a lot of times we get lost in just being present and existing and letting things breathe.

At least that's been something that I've tried to cultivate because I feel like the other side of that can, in fact, be a hindrance to enjoying life and happiness. How do you think about that? Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors.

D
Hey, love tribe. I have just a few questions for you. I want to know why you are here listening to the podcast. Are you here because you want to stop bickering with your partner and you want to feel truly heard? Or are you looking for ways to reignite your sex life, or do you want to feel more emotionally connected with your partner, or do you just long for those fun, giggly moments of connection that you used to have at the beginning of your relationship?

C
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Greg Hammer
Well, you know, ill bring my sort of mindfulness perspective to this, which is really what my practice is and that which I practice and teach. The gain practice in this case. And what is mindfulness? So kind of taking a step back from your question, as doctor John Kabatson defines it, its awareness of the present moment on purpose, non judgmentally. So bringing yourself into the present moment requires practice.

That's the on purpose. You have to have an intention, a purpose of rewiring your brain in this way, because otherwise we do tend to overthink things. So, for example, if you close your eyes and you just try to be aware of what's happening right now around you, it can be sensations, things you hear, things you feel. Again, as I said, the pressure of the chair against your body, the tingling at the soles of your feet, something you hear in the distance. Your mind will tend to drift to the past or the future.

So your mind is programmed to review things that happened yesterday, and it's programmed to do so with a negativity bias. So these are two principles that really define the way our brains are wired. We have a negativity bias. We tend to think in a negative manner, and we're very distracted with the past and the future. So if you sit and close your eyes and just hope to be present, your mind may drift to the past.

And with a negativity bias, you tend to have some shame or regret. Maybe you said something yesterday or didn't do something you should have done. Or your mind goes to the future and you're thinking about the list of things you have to do today or tomorrow, or what's going to happen to my relationship, we live far apart, or she's this way, I'm that way. And these thoughts are really maladaptive, and our thoughts beget our thoughts. In other words, if you just think about the neural patterns and connections of our brainstor.

The more we fire these neural pathways. In other words, the more we have these thoughts, like, I am this person or she is that person. You bring your negativity bias. So this is difficult. It's not going to work out, etcetera.

When you are actually having these thoughts, you're fortifying these neural pathways, and we can all appreciate this. Our thoughts begethe the same thoughts. So we get out of bed in the morning, and we automatically start thinking about, especially as we get a little older. But you and I were talking before we started about your back pain. You get out of bed in the morning, you start having these negative thoughts.

You focus on, oh, my back is stiff, et cetera, et cetera. And the more you have these thoughts, the more you have these thoughts. So you establish these patterns of thinking. Every morning when I get out of bed, I focus on my back pain. I ignore the fact that the rest of my body has been working perfectly all night.

My kidneys have been removing things that would otherwise be toxic from my blood all night, sending them down to my bladder, which is conveniently storing them, and quietly so, so that I don't have to get up every five minutes and. And urinate. So my kidneys are working well. My bladder is doing what it's supposed to do. I get up in the morning and I go into the bathroom and I urinate.

And it's a miracle, really. But instead, we're thinking about the fact that our back is stiff. And again, kind of ignoring that the other 99% of our physiology is miraculously working pretty much perfectly. And the more we have these thoughts every day, the more we get out of bed thinking the same things. So, similarly, in other aspects of our life, in relationships, no doubt in the way we think all the time, with this negativity bias and this distraction with the past and the future, the more we allow ourselves to have these negative thoughts, these distracted thoughts, the more we will have those thoughts.

We can begin to rewire our brain by having a practice. And that's part of the eye in gain is intention, or Doctor Kabatzin's definition of mindfulness. Being aware of the present moment on purpose, the on purpose is our intention to practice rewiring our brain. And I think this is an absolutely essential component of having a happy and fruitful life, is learning how to be present, learning how to rewire our brain to be more positive, grateful, accepting, intentional, and non judgmental. And so we need to really be committed to this practice, just like we take care of our bodies.

You have to have a practice. Eating well. You have to have a practice. It takes a little bit of discipline. It takes a purpose, it takes intention, taking care of your body in terms of exercising properly.

If you have back pain and you want to fix it, you're going to have to learn to do some yoga and some other things and have a plan with regard to your ergonomics, the way you open doors, the way you reach and pick up something on the floor. So you have to have a plan. You have to have intention if you want to, if you want to improve your happiness index, if you will. And so I think that applies to relationships just as much as anything else. I love that.

Jace
And I recently saw an older commencement speech from Jim Carrey, who he's become quite the sage if you watch some of his for years. Really, I just don't think he broadcast it too much. He seemed pretty wise and on this spiritual path, and he was talking through his own seriousness and then comedy. But it was really beautiful about thoughts and everything we're talking about. And the way he laid it out was something to the effect of just our thoughts are everything.

It's how we experience the world. If we can become aware of them and do a practice like this, gain meditation and look at them non judgmentally, that was one of the things when I think about non judgment is becoming the observer and looking at our thoughts and going, oh, it's not about controlling them and observing them non judgmentally. Oh, that's interesting. I'm feeling angry at my partner and not identifying with them. Again, easier said than done, but that's a part of this practice.

But when we're able to not identify and bring awareness and separate ourselves, it's like I can visualize what that looks like. I don't always do it, but it's really empowering, because then we don't have to be at the mercy of our programming, of our family history, of our negativity bias that we evolved to have. But it's a constant practice, and today's discussion is such a beautiful reminder. And I'll try to find a link to this speech and put it in the show notes of Jim Carrey. But it all makes so much sense when you really pull back and especially if you're tuning in and you're dealing with some heavy things, and as we all do, that's the human experience, loss and heartbreak or conflict in your relationship.

But to take that non judgmental pullback, look at it. And then you mentioned love earlier. And loving kindness and inserting that too, from a compassionate, loving standpoint. And then if we're able to do that for ourselves and for our partners, when our partner says something maybe hurtful in the moment and trying not to judge them and then taking the perspective of, oh, you know, they're doing that because they're hurt. They just really want to be loved right now.

That's all they're acting out. They're not expressing it in the most productive way. But it's such a, such an important thing to be able to do for all aspects of our life. So thank you for laying out this gain meditation and these pillars of working through suffering, essentially, you know, and working towards acceptance. It's so valuable.

So, yeah, just thank you. I want to express my gratitude for that. And before we wrap up here, ask you if, if there's anything you want to leave our listeners with or maybe something you want to emphasize, and then we'll say goodbye. Sure. I think maybe two quick things.

Greg Hammer
One is our brains have become wired the way they are over tens and maybe hundreds of thousands of years. So we're not going to change them overnight. And I know that we sort of live in this point and click, immediate gratification, immediate change kind of society. So we have to take a step back and realize that rewiring our brain to be happier is a very slow process. It's baby steps.

But as long as we're going in the right direction, we'll feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. So it doesn't happen overnight. Takes a daily practice a little bit at a time. And the other point to be made, chase, is that we do all have this negativity bias and it creeps into our relationships because it dominates the way we think. And this is not our dirty little secret.

We all think this way. So for anybody who's listening, I would say don't judge yourself harshly for having some depression from looking at things kind of in a negative manner much of the time. And the good news is, again, if we have a daily practice, we can begin to rewire the way we think toward a more positive and happier, more present way of being. Well, thank you for that. Doctor Hammer, can you tell our listeners where they can find you online?

Sure. My website is greghammermd.com. greghammermd.com. And there's a lot of media there, a lot of information, link to the book, which is on Amazon and elsewhere, and how they get ahold of me as well. Amazing.

Jace
Well, we will have those links in our show notes and on our website and thanks for taking the time to come on the show today. It's been my pleasure, chase thank you. Guys so much for tuning into today's episode. As always, all the links to the guest as well as any of their recommendations will be in the show notes page. You can find the link to that in the episode description or by going to idopodcast.com.

D
click on the podcast tab up at the top and you will have access to all the episodes that we've ever done. There are over 300 of them. And while you're on our website, if you haven't checked out our free 14 day happy couple challenge, we really hope you do. It's a free email challenge that we send to you. It's 14 days of fun, easy, doable challenges to help strengthen and improve your relationship.

And if you're looking for something that provides a little more help with working on your relationship, whether it's improving intimacy or communication with your partner, or just bringing the spark back, we would love for you guys to check out our online course, spark my relationship. We're offering $100 off to all of our listeners if you go to sparkmyrelationship.com unlock. We've worked with over 15 psychologists and therapists to create the real life tools and strategies that they are teaching their clients, so we wanted to give them to you. Self paced online course that can be done in as little as a month or up to three months. You can really decide how much or how little you want to do with your partner or maybe just yourself.

So we hope you guys check that out. It's sparkmyrelationship.com unlock. Have a great day.

Greg Hammer
You are listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from our sex podcast collective, visit pleasurepodcasts.com.

Jace
For more from our sex podcast collective, visit pleasurepodcasts.com.