459: Using Polarity To Improve Your Relationship

Primary Topic

This episode delves into the dynamics of gender roles and polarity in relationships, highlighting how these elements can enhance intimacy and sexual desire.

Episode Summary

In this insightful episode of "Relationship Advice," hosts Chase and Sarah Kosterlitz, along with guest Magda K., an intimacy expert and tantra teacher, explore the concept of gender polarity and its impact on relationships. Magda discusses the balance between familiarity, which fosters love, and polarity, which fuels desire, emphasizing the importance of maintaining both to nurture a healthy relationship. The conversation also covers the physiological and energetic differences between genders and how these can be harmonized to enhance relationship dynamics. Through practical advice and personal anecdotes, the episode provides listeners with a deeper understanding of how to harness the power of polarity to improve their relationships.

Main Takeaways

  1. Polarity between partners can ignite desire and maintain sexual attraction.
  2. Balancing sameness and difference is crucial for a relationship's health.
  3. Understanding and respecting gender energies can improve relational dynamics.
  4. Practical tools and mindset shifts can help couples introduce or restore polarity.
  5. The episode offers a blend of theoretical insights and actionable advice to help listeners apply the concepts discussed.

Episode Chapters

1. Introduction to Gender Polarity

Magda K. discusses the role of gender polarity in relationships and its psychological and energetic significance. Chase Kosterlitz: "Today we'll explore how gender roles and polarity enhance intimacy."

2. The Role of Energy in Relationships

Magda elaborates on how energy dynamics between masculine and feminine roles influence relationships. Magda K.: "Polarity exists between two elements that are opposite to each other, creating movement and tension that are necessary for desire."

3. Practical Application of Polarity

The discussion shifts to practical ways couples can introduce or enhance polarity in their relationships. Magda K.: "It's about balancing sameness for love and difference for desire."

Actionable Advice

  1. Embrace Differences: Recognize and value the differences between you and your partner as sources of attraction and interest.
  2. Balance Familiarity and Polarity: Actively work to maintain a balance between comfort and excitement in your relationship.
  3. Mindful Communication: Discuss gender roles and expectations openly with your partner to better understand each other’s needs and preferences.
  4. Regular Intimate Time: Schedule regular dates or private time to focus solely on each other, enhancing both emotional and physical intimacy.
  5. Explore Energy Dynamics: Experiment with the roles of giving and receiving in various aspects of your relationship to keep the dynamic exciting and fulfilling.

About This Episode

Understanding gender polarity and gender roles is a great way to improve the health and happiness of your relationship. Listen to today's show to learn how to apply this knowledge and start improving your relationship today!

People

Chase Kosterlitz, Sarah Kosterlitz, Magda K.

Guest Name(s):

Magda K.

Content Warnings:

None

Transcript

A
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B
Take me to the place in the. Middle of the song or sing this song singing hello everyone. Thank you so much for joining me on today's show where I welcome Magda K. And Magda is an intimacy expert, tantra teacher and conscious relationship coach, author and founder of the School of Intimacy. And she's on a mission to help people access their deepest desires and ability to create transformative intimacy in their lives.

C
And today, Magda and I talk about gender polarity and gender roles in a relationship. And I really enjoyed this conversation with Magda where she gave some really specific tools and ideas that we can start to implement into our lives, into our relationships to help improve them from kind of a different angle than we usually talk about. A lot of times we have, you know, specific tips based on the psychology of communication and our attachment styles, which is great to understand and super valuable. But today we talk a lot about energetic relating in how being in our masculine or our feminine impacts the relationship and why we want to try to create some polarity that's going to help in relating, it's going to help in the bedroom and so much more. I really enjoyed this conversation with Magda.

Thank you guys so much for tuning in. Enjoy today's show.

Hi Magna, thanks so much for joining me on the show today. Hi, and thank you for having me. Today we're going to talk about gender roles and gender polarity. And I thought a good place for us to start would be having you tell our listeners why you enjoy sharing information about this realm and why you think it's important for us to understand it. And then we'll dive into what it means to have gender polarity and we'll talk about gender roles and all the fun things in between.

B
So I am fascinated by psychology. I love looking at people and just dissecting why do we do what we do? And naturally that brought me into the field of relationships and intimacy. And so I think we live in really interesting times because, you know, there's been a lot of, let's just say, b's in terms of relating that I feel like our generations are getting rid of. But at the same time, we don't yet have new structures.

And I think we recognize certain things to be obsolete, that they have been limiting us. So we want something better, but we don't have an alternative. And so we're kind of in this limbo where we're also recognizing that there is certain magic in the polarity in these gender roles with the bad. There was some good as well. And I think it's really interesting to be having these conversations, which I don't think they happen often enough because maybe they're a little, you know, sensitive these days.

But I think we recognize that there is certain magic in, in that conversation. And just eliminating and throwing away everything has unfortunately created a lot of lonely people, a lot of sexless marriages, passionless couples. And so I think, I think it's a very interesting time to be alive, I would say, because we get to redefine certain concepts, we get to keep the parts that really work, and they're essential. And we get to maybe update on some of the elements of this. Let's talk about one of the areas that we're definitely rethinking, and that is gender and gender roles in relationships.

C
So how, I should say, where do we start in trying to understand this, how it relates to our relationships? I think essentially, you know, because, of course, we can get into a rabbit hole and discuss, you know, what's happening globally now. But I think in terms of relationships, there are two concepts that we need to understand. One is that familiarity helps us build love. So if you want to experience closeness, love of the other human being, we need familiarity.

B
We need the element of sameness and closeness. But desire lives in the world of polarity and distance. And so we cannot just focus on the one, because for a good relationship, we need both. We need love and we need the sexual desire. And so ultimately, it's about balancing these two.

And so, of course, in a very traditional, we could say, approach to relationships, in a heterosexual relationship, you have the distance simply by having a man and a woman. Now, of course, we can have so many different varieties of coming together these days. And I think what I would say is just let's be more mindful of when two people come into a relationship. What's kind of our default state? Are we by default more same or are we more different?

And then based on what is your starting point, you know, where you will need to be a bit more mindful on, like, do you need to bring more sameness and more familiarity into your relationship? Or do you need to bring more polarity and distance? What exactly does polarity look like? Can you give a specific example of how having some good polarity in between a couple in a relationship, that's going to create desire, what that looks like in action? So essentially, polarity exists between two elements that are opposite to each other.

And just look at nature. So, for example, we have currents in our oceans, and the reason why we have the currents is because of the cold and the warm water. And it's the difference in the temperature that creates the movement. So it's always the difference between the two elements and the bigger the difference between the temperature, the bigger the movement. And in fact, this is, of course, we're not going to get into the conversation about environment here, but one of the arguments that is being brought up is that with the change of the climate, we are losing the polarity of water, which is impacting the currents.

And so it's the same here. So this is, again, this is about finding this balance because, of course, when we get into a relationship, we want to be with someone with whom we have similar values and hobbies. And, you know, we have kind of the same idea for how we want to live our life in the future. But we have to remember that we need that. We need those differences because they create polarity, they create the tension.

So we're looking for places where are we different now? On a physiological level, if we have a man and a woman, we have the difference simply by how the body is built. On the energy level, it's the same. So in a male and female body, the energy flows the opposite way, especially at the level that interests us the most, which is the sexual level and the love level, the energies flows actually in the opposite way. So they're complement, like they complement each other.

So this is someplace of that polarity. But this can also be any place where we talk about what is your role in a relationship and what is mine. Instead of trying to do everything together, we split it. This is your task. This is my task.

I trust you to do this and you trust me to do this. So it's this concept of divine and conquer. This is the place where we're going to have different energies and different personalities, where we will have different opinions. So, you know, people may feel very uncomfortable when we don't agree with someone we love. It's like, oh, my God, if we don't agree on this specific topic, it means that it just like we don't love each other and we're not compatible, but these are actually places from which we can source that polarity.

Now, of course, there are certain things where we do need to agree on. You know, we need to be aligned for a relationship. But these less important places, like embrace. Embrace the differences. Instead of always trying to come into the place of agreement, of always doing the same.

Embrace the fact that you are two separate human beings. You're both worthy, but you're different. You're not the same. Let's embrace more the fact that we are all different. One of the things you mentioned was the energy flow, being opposite in the genders.

C
Can you talk a little bit more about that? Sure. So this is rooted in tantra and in yoga. So I am aware that we have different paths, different spiritual concepts, and they don't all align. And I don't have the answer, I would say, for this, but I really love this whole theory comes from the tantric lineage.

B
So in this lineage, we talk about seven chakras, or energy centers. And what's really interesting is when you look at chakras in the male and female body, the way that the energy flows through them is actually opposite. And you can look at a physical body. Physical body will tell you how the energy flows. So starting with the root chakra at our core, which is also the source of sexuality, this primary animalistic sexuality, if you look at our genitals, it tells you right away how the energy moves.

MEN are giving. You thrust, you ejaculate, right? It's all. It's all outgoing for a woman. The yonI, the vagina goes in the wards.

And also a woman pulls the semen in. So we see at the level of sex a man is giving meaning. You're in the masculine outward flow a woman is receiving. Then if I jump to the heart chakra, which is in the chest, again, women have breasts, and women penetrate the world with our breasts. We are giving, so women are giving at the level of love MEN are receiving.

And you can see this at the level of every chakra. So we start with the first chakra being the root. Now the second chakra, that's our hips. Now, again, look at the body. Female hips.

They're big. Men don't really have hips. So your body goes inwards. Then look at the third chakra, which is the waist. Again, for females, the waist goes in.

For a man, it's more straight with the chest. Like I said, women have breasts. If you look at the throat chakra, at the level of neck, you have Adam's apple. Now, to be fair, at the level of the third eye in the forehead, we don't really see physical differences, but by now we can see that the energy just kind of goes the opposite way. And then at the level of the crown, there is no polarity because that's our direct connection to the divine.

And so the reason why I love this whole theory, and I don't really hear people talk about this, is that it also explains this beautiful sense of union when someone is in a beautiful relationship, because this is when the energy flows beautifully through both bodies. And you can also find in that system, like any argument you'll have with your partner, you can pinpoint it to one of those chakras that either you're not giving energy where you're meant to be giving it. So in a way, you're withdrawing your gifts or when you impose your gifts, or when your receptive center closes down, so you're not receptive to the gifts of your partner. And so I use the system a lot with my clients because it allows you to explain the dynamic between the partners from a very different perspective. Very different perspective.

So because I work with energy and I really deeply believe we have energy, and it's such an essential element of intimate relationships, for me, it's about understanding how can we give our gift. So from the emissive chakras, how can we receive the gifts of our partner? So this is my receptive chakras, but we also want to learn to alternate this energy. So I don't only want to be giving love as a woman, I want to be able to receive it. I don't only want to receive your sexuality, I want to be able to give mine as well.

So again, when we learn to move the energy freely, then regardless of who I'm dating, I can always find this flow where our energies can go opposite way, meaning we can pull each other closer, energetically to have the sense of oneness and union. What do you think of this concept? Because often when I represent it, people are quite impressed by this. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense, and it's not completely new to me. I'm not super well versed in it, but I imagine our listeners, it's going to be a mix as well.

C
But yeah, just thinking to my different relationships, and I'm 37, and in my adult years, I've had not that many, you know, Sarah, who I still do this podcast with my ex wife, we were together for twelve years, and since then I've had, you know, a few longer term girlfriends. And I have noticed that there is obviously my own projections. I try to be aware of, of gender roles and within all that, in the end, it feels like there are some very masculine, to use those terms, and feminine qualities that appear obviously within myself, the masculine, and there can be feminine there, too. But to go with what you're saying and just the dynamics of the giving and the receiving sexually, to me that's one of the easier places to see it because it's physically being acted out emotionally as well, and noticing these patterns. And it is quite interesting, it can get quite complicated because then you layer in culture and society and what we're told we're supposed to do within that.

But it is interesting to try to dissect and understand that, yeah, the masculine does give from a very physical standpoint and like you said, thrusting and penetration and the feminine receives and how that can show up, not just in the bedroom, but I think about, like, decision making and you're in a relationship. And I found, and again, this is a generalization. I'm not saying all women are going to want to do this and all men, but I found in my dynamics that my partners and the feminine likes when I'm taking control. And I don't mean control of like, in a manipulative way, but like, hey, I made plans this weekend. What do you think?

Like, let's do this. And it seems to be more of the masculine role. And again, it's not to say that a female partner can't interject and have an opinion and also make plans. And I actually like that sometimes when the masculine side of me, who does maybe feel like I need to control and make plans all the time, when my partner's just like, hey, let's do this. I'm like, awesome.

You know, I can also give in to that. But I think it's an interesting discussion and it goes to the point of recognizing these energetic roles, certainly the societal roles, and maybe just your own individual roles, what you like, and it's not necessarily what we're told. Maybe you're a female who really likes to be assertive and not always receive. That can be good, but maybe give your, give yourself permission to receive. That can kind of go for both sides.

So I could go on, but yeah, I think this is a very interesting thread. Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors.

A
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B
So I fully agree with you. So first, with the conversation you brought up about the fact that when you're more in control, when you take charge, that your partners seem to really enjoy this. And I think it's an interesting conversation because we can say, oh, is it how we are created? Is it like, you know, goes from within? Is it our nature?

Or is it cultural? My point is that regardless of what it is, the reality is that most people prefer this dynamic. And so, you know, it's the, but it's the whole conversation, nature versus nurture. And I think it's the same here. And no one has ever found the answer.

We keep arguing about this. So instead of thinking where it comes from, I like to look at the fact that vast majority of women prefer when a man takes charge so a woman can relax. For most women, this balances our hormones, this balances our nervous system. It helps us drop into the body. This is where it's really important, because if I have to organize things, I'm a lot in my head because I have to.

There's nothing wrong with this, but I have to. So I'm not in my body for a woman to feel pleasure. To have an orgasm, she needs to feel fully safe. And if I'm thinking of the things that need to be done, I'm stressed. The opposite of feeling safe.

So when a man shows that, yeah, I got you, babe. Right. It's like, it's like, I got it. Don't worry. Women usually get to relax way more into their body and they're.

And they're more open to feeling pleasure. So this is, this is just what it is, you know? I mean, some people really hate this concept, but most of us really feel good in this. And even people who really resist it, if you manage to work through resistance and they start to explore that specific polarity, they actually enjoy this. But I also agree with what you said.

It's like being in just one energy. It can be a bit tiring. So it's so nice for a woman to every now and be like, okay, now I'm going to be in charge. And for a man to experience the opposite, which is like, okay, let me relax. So I think that in most cases we have relationships when men step into this masculine energy and a woman steps into the feminine, there are some relationships where it's opposite, but even when it's opposite, you're going to have strong polarity.

That's going to be a strong preference. And regardless of where you are, I think you have your predominant polarity. And it's always good to explore the other side just for the sake of some excitement and just to have things a bit different every now and then, because essentially we want to experience everything. I don't just want to use my left hand, I want to use both. So I say, like, I'm right handed, so I mostly use my right hand, but it doesn't mean I ignore my left one.

I still like to use my left hand, and it's the same here. So we're going to have a predominant energy where we feel good and stay here most of the time. But then every now and then, it's kind of fun to go into the opposite, as long as the partner switches. Because the problem is when both partners step into the feminine, then nothing moves, or both partner goes into the masculine, then we clash and compete. So it was good to kind of, you know, have an understanding of, you know, we're switching together.

C
I love your explanation of that. It doesn't necessarily matter what is true because we don't know what is ultimately true. We do have research in our own experiences, and I was an anthropology major. So it is interesting, as you were talking about this to think about the evolutionary reasons for this, of course it makes sense that, I mean, women are childbearing. So when a child comes into the world, there's a lot of responsibility that is on the woman before it comes in for the pregnancy and then feeding the baby and nurturing it.

And there's no debate there. Like, that's biology. That's what women have to do. And that's a very feminine thing and it's a beautiful thing. And there's also research that women are more emotionally attuned because it's evolutionary beneficial to be able to read the baby's nonverbal cues.

What does the baby need? Is it hungry, tired, sad, cranky in facial cues? And that's why, you know, one of the many evolutionary theories of just why women are better at interpersonal skills and why women go into nursing and these things. So through that lens, I think that's fascinating. And we take that to relating and go, yeah, of course.

And again, it's not everyone. And it's not to say that I like to feel nurtured. And as I said, like, sometimes I like to not plan. And, you know, my girlfriend is a mother. She has a son.

And I find she's more motherly than anyone I've ever dated, of course. And because she has this experience of nurturing a, not only is it in her DNA, but she's actually used it. Right. And to raise her son so far. And.

And it feels really good. And it feels like she's very in her feminine in that way and very nurturing. And that creates polarity and that is attractive not only from a sexual and a desire standpoint, but it feels good. It makes me feel loved as opposed to someone that might be just more like me. I don't want to date me.

Right. That's, again, to go back to what you're saying is to create this polarity, this difference, and to highlight the benefits of them. And it doesn't matter where they come from necessarily. We don't have to dissect that, but it's interesting. But to embrace it and then to understand this for ourselves and then take it to our partner and you can say, hey, you know, sometimes it feels really good.

I'll do this. Like I'm a big guy too. I'm six, 4200 pounds. Like, I hold a lot of energy. I feel like the weight of people, like, literally and emotionally.

And I've think I'm a softie sometimes. And I really like to be held and to literally tell my girlfriend. And she does this. And it's so sweet. Like, just that she holds me like she's half my size.

But that's kind of switching the quote unquote gender roles in what we're talking about here. But it's still polarity. And it feels good to be open to that, that I would encourage the guys listening, or it can be for the women, too. But to think about how we can become rigid and how we're supposed to be right. The man is supposed to be strong and can't share feelings or can't cry or be held by their partner, their female partner, or, you know, this goes for all relationships.

I'm sure, in same sex relationships that they also find the polarity. And one partner might have more of the masculine or the feminine, but to have these conversations, to think about these things is so beautiful and important. But, yeah, it's just thinking out loud here, and it's also a good reminder for myself, and hopefully this can be that for our listeners. Yes. And I love what you said about being held.

B
So one of my former partners, and he was really big, like you're saying, and he loved spooning, only that he wanted to be the little spoon. And I always felt so, like, awkward trying to embrace him because I'm like, I'm just not big enough. But he really, really liked it. And so now, going back to what I said at the beginning, you know, we have the distance that creates polarity and sexual tension, and then we have closeness that creates love. And we need to be mindful about both of these.

So I love polarity, but I also don't think that this is the whole story, because there's a lot of teachers out there, especially tantra teachers, that say that it's all about polarity. And for me, that's not true. For me, polarity is a tool. So there will be moments in your relationship where you want to come close. And, for example, you can receive nurturing from your woman that doesn't feel polarizing.

It feels very uniting, because it's all about love and caring. So in that moment, there is no polarity, but it's because essentially, you're in a relationship and you're building a relationship. You don't just build sexual desire. Sexual desire is a part of this. And so I think it's really important to just kind of look.

I love looking at life as a scale. You know, like, people love black and white, yes or no, right or wrong. And I'm like, no. These are like extremes. They don't exist.

Everything is a shade of gray. And it just depends, you know, at any given time, it's like a living organism that's breathing, and we just need to watch and adjust. So I look at it as a scale. On one hand we have polarity and the sexual chemistry, and on the other, we have love and familiarity and closeness. And so you cannot exist at any of the extremes because you're not going to have a relationship.

You need both, but you naturally move between these two. So it'll be times where you're focusing more on polarity because you got to, you know, spice things up, especially at the beginning of the relationship. Of course, we have so much of this. And then there will be times when you'll be going more towards love and closeness, you know, when you have this experience, I'm sure when kids show up, often polarity drops. And this is where couples struggle.

I work a lot with young couples because they lose that polarity. So we're looking for ways how we can introduce this. But it's more about this. It's about keep an eye on your relationship and what does it need now, do you need to be creating more polarity or do you need to be creating more closeness? None is better than the other.

Both are tools and you need both, but they are opposite. Literally, they're opposite to each other. And so it's just about, you know, riding this wave. Riding this wave and, like, let go of judgment. Like you said, there's this, like, expectation, I should do this or that.

Oh, that's not masculine, that's not feminine. Forget about whatever someone is telling you and just connect more to you, who you are. How do you like to express yourself in a relationship like that is way more important. Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors.

A
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C
One of the things I'm thinking about that definitely can happen in longer term relationships is becoming more like roommates and best friends. And that's not the worst thing in the world, right? Like, if you love each other and you're each other's best friends, and that's where it can get tricky, because a relationship is dynamic and it has a sexual component, really. And that when there's not that polarity there and you're just best friends and certainly becoming a parent, Sarah and I definitely found that everyone does. It drastically changes your life.

And it goes to these roles, too, is suddenly now, before, you were best friends living together, and now you're a dad and you're a mom. And that kind of supersedes the relationship, certainly in the early years of a new child because it just takes time and energy and space. And so I definitely noticed that being a big area, and that's what you said of making sure you're just paying attention to it because it is easy to slip into that. That familiarity and that comfort and love and that's beautiful and stay there for sure and make sure every once in a while you plan a date night. You know, that's crazy.

That dynamic, that keeps it exciting, that keeps the polarity, even though the other stuff, it doesn't necessarily, like, feel bad. It's not bad to feel love and, like, you live with your best friend. But that's why I think it can kind of sneak up on you or you can kind of just not even realize that. Oh, wait. Yeah, I missed that fire that we had.

What is that? Well, that's everything that you're describing. Yes. So I always say that in a way, sex is what literally defines a romantic relationship. Because if you take away sex, you have friendship.

B
Like, literally, sex is what makes this relationship unique. But, you know, again, here we can have a conversation. Is it natural? Is it just imposed by the society? But let's just say that the way it is is that when we come together into a relationship, we move in together, we start combining our lives.

So we're coming closer and closer and closer. And so the design of our lives naturally eliminates polarity. And so as long as you're compatible, like, as long as you, you're good friends, like you like each other on a human level, and, you know, you're, you're mindful, you're not like, you know, you're not very broken, then love can last quite easily, but sexual desire is going to disappear because of the structure of your lives. And so this is where couples need to be more mindful. This is where you need to be more proactive because, you know, there's this lot of entropy, right?

It's like everything in nature eventually is, like, designed to just break down everything. Like, all the systems eventually break down. The only way to counteract the law of entropy is by adding energy into the system. So if you have a car, if you don't do, you know, repairs, you don't do tracks, you don't add gas, it's just gonna break really fast. But if we keep taking care of something, it's going to live longer.

Same with your plants. If you just leave them, they're going to die. But if you keep watering them and giving them what the plant needs, it's going to live. And so, same with the relationship, but we have to be proactively giving, let's call it the nutrients into our sexual life for it to be actually alive. And this is where most couples, unfortunately, I don't want to get it wrong, but, like, maybe fail to acknowledge the need that they have to be proactively focusing on the sex life.

And so, like, you know, over time, there is less and less sex. Especially exactly like, you know, if kids show up or if there's any, like, maybe financial difficulties or your moving countries, like, there's things that require you to be in a very different energy, not pleasure. And so you're like, oh, I didn't do anything. But that's the point. It's the passivity that kills our sex life.

And like you said, a date night. Like, I always tell couples, like, if you can dedicate one evening a week to your relationship, but, like, be fully present. This is for, this is for you as lovers. Get out of the house, rent a hotel. Like, these are sacred evenings.

Pretty much no matter what you do for the rest of the week, if you can dedicate this one evening, your relationship will survive. You know, it can be together five years, ten years, because it's normal that life will have demands on us. So one evening a week, is enough to maintain your relationship. Just do that and you'll be fine. Well, Magna.

C
I think that's a great place to wrap up in some homework for our listeners. They've heard it before. I've heard it before. That's, it's nothing revolutionary, but it's important to make that. But it's about doing this, right?

B
It's about doing this. So whoever is here, if you're hearing it for like, end time, I don't know how many times you've heard it, take it as a sign to finally do it. Like, I love Thursdays. There's something about Thursday, I don't know. But, like, get your schedule and book one.

One evening a week, that's it. Just commit to this. And at first it's going to be awkward, then it's going to be so natural. It's like, you know, every morning I go to the gym, it's like there's no other option. It's same here.

It needs to get to the point where there's no other option because that's booked no matter what. And then you're fine. I love it. Well, thank you, Magda. I really enjoyed this conversation.

C
Before we wrap up, can you tell our listeners about your book and where they can find you online and then we'll say goodbye. Sure. So, guys, this is actually a great, beautiful month for you to be tuning into our conversation because I am celebrating one year anniversary of publishing my book. And I figured to celebrate one year, let's just offer the book for $1. And so the Kindle version is available on all Amazon stores for just $1.

B
And I highly recommend it. But now, what is the book? So the book is called no more faking it. And it's a tricky title. It's not just about faking orgasm.

It's more about all the places where we fake it in life. The book is written for women, and I'll explain why this is essential, actually, because when we look at relationships, a woman is the sun. It's like in nature, when there's no sun, we all get kind of grumpy. But when the sun comes out, we're all happy. And so there's a saying, happy wife, happy life.

And there's a reason why we say this. Unfortunately, women have a tendency of sacrificing themselves for the child or the partner. And essentially what it does is that it shuts down the sun and then the whole relationship or the whole family suffers. So if there are any issues in the relationship, I always say focus on the woman first, bring back her radiance, and then you'll see that it impacts everyone else. And so the book is designed to bring back the radiance in the woman.

And what the book is about is discovering your four power centers. I don't want to give away too much, and that's what the book is for. But everyone and men as well, we have these four power centers, which are four specific places in your body that actually guide you, but we're not aware of them. Like, we think there's, like, one inner voice. There isn't one.

There are four. And if you don't work with them all, because they can be such great support, but most of us don't know them and don't ever talk to them. So they turn into really spoiled kids, very selfish kids that fight for your attention. So the book helps you understand what these four power centers are and how to find alignment in them so they can support you instead of sabotaging you, which I think most of us can relate to. So that's what the book is about.

And I highly, highly, highly recommend you guys check it out for just $1. It's called no more faking it. And I would love to connect with everyone. So if you guys enjoyed this conversation, please find me on YouTube. It's Magda K or on Instagram, Magda k official.

Basically, if you just go on google and write magda K, you're gonna find me. Or a DJ. There's one DJ who has the same name. I am not a DJ. So anything that's not related to djing, that's gonna be me.

So really easy to connect. Send me a message that you guys listen to our conversation. I really like to know where people come from and trace, thank you so much for having this opportunity to talk about this. I could keep, you know, see, I'm a talker. I can keep going.

You have to stop me. We'd love to have you back on, and I really enjoyed this conversation. We will have the links to your book and your website in our show notes and on our website. Thank you for taking the time to join me today, Magda, thank you so. Much for having me.

A
Thank you guys so much for tuning into today's episode. As always, all the links to the guest, as well as any of their recommendations will be in the show notes page. You can find the link to that in the episode description or by going to idopodcast.com. click on the podcast tab up at the top, and you will have access to all the episodes that we've ever done. There are over 300 of them.

And while you're on our website, if you haven't checked out our free 14 day happy couple challenge, we really hope you do. It's a free email challenge that we send to you. It's 14 days of fun, easy, doable challenges to help strengthen and improve your relationship. And if you're looking for something that provides a little more help with working on your relationship, whether it's improving intimacy or communication with your partner, or just bringing the spark back, we would love for you guys to check out our online course, spark my relationship. We're offering $100 off to all of our listeners if you go to sparkmyrelationship.com forward Slash unlock.

We worked with over 15 psychologists and therapists to create the real life tools and strategies that they are teaching their clients, so we wanted to give them to you. It's a self paced online course that can be done in as little as a month or up to three months. You can really decide how much or how little you want to do with your partner or maybe just yourself. So we hope you guys check that out. It's sparkmyrelationship.com unlock.

Have a great day.

C
You are listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from our sex podcast collective, visit pleasurepodcasts.com.