456: Moving Through Challenges

Sarah Kosterlitz
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Chase Kosterlitz
Hi, guys. Thanks so much for joining me on today's show where I welcome Tammy Mastroverte. Tammy is a best selling author, spiritual teacher in wellness expert. Her mission is to help people use the simple, impractical tools that are right at their fingertips to thrive in everyday life and create positive changes. And today, Tammy and I have a really interesting conversation where we start with spirituality and talking about signs in particular and how to interpret them and really how to cultivate spirituality, whatever that means for you.

I share interesting experience that I had a couple months ago, and if you're listening and you have any insight into my experience, I'd love to hear from you. It was, it was quite unique. I touch on it. I didn't go into a ton of detail, but it definitely left an impact on me as far as some interesting signs from the universe that came up. And, yeah, hopefully it'll help you think about awareness and cultivating spirituality.

And then we dive into moving through challenges. And these two things are linked, the spirituality. And Tammy draws a nice bridge between the two and really just how we can move through life's challenges, relationship challenges, with more ease, because we're always going to face them. And the more tools we have to move through them, the better. And Tammy gives some great tools today.

As Always, thank you guys so much for listening. Enjoy Today's show.

Hi, Tammy. Thanks so much for joining me on the show today. Thank you so much for having me. Today we're going to talk about moving through challenges or roadblocks or whatever you want to call it in your life where you just feel a little bit stuck. And obviously, we'll do this through the Lens of Relationships.

But, you know, personally, I've been feeling great in my RelationshIp and Kind of Stuck in other areas of my life, maybe professionally a little bit more. So I'm excited to dive into this and see how we can apply it to everything. And I thought we could start by having you tell our listeners why you enjoy this particular TOpIC and helping people move through challenges, and then we'll talk about how to do it. Yes. So I think my path to sort of teaching people started when my mother died suddenly of a brain aneurysm when I was 22 years old.

Tammy Mastroberte
And that was a big challenge. And so it really sort of catapulted me into a place, I think, where a lot of people, when they face a major challenge, I always say it's like a death, a diagnosis, a divorce of some type, whether that be an actual divorce divorce, or just a breakup of a relationship or something. And it sort of sends you out to try and find new tools, try and understand things. And so, for me, that really set me off on my path to understanding the world, understanding what happens after we die. And eventually, it sent me to a medium, and this was over 20 years ago, so I always say this was before mediums were on tv, and it was like a norm thing to talk about.

And that really opened me up to so much that I think I wasn't aware of being brought up just in the catholic faith. I was lucky because my mother was very open to signs and all of that stuff. But I think that's what started me on my path. And as I started learning things, I'm the type of person that just gets excited about stuff and wants to share it right, with other people, which I'm sure you do, too, because you have a podcast, right? So it's sort of like I just started talking to people about signs that I was getting from my mother or, you know, specific things that were working for me.

And I would hear back from people like, oh, you're so lucky. You know, I don't get signs from my loved one who has passed or, you know, I can't create the things that you're creating or whatever it might be. So anytime I would get pushback from somebody, I would think, well, no, if I can do it, you can do it. So let me figure out, what am I doing differently? What am I doing that's working for me, that maybe can work for you?

And that's how my first book, the universe is talking to you, has a process where it helps you open up to the signs that kind of birthed that. And then the newest book, the higher help method, really came out of people saying to me, like, why is my manifesting not working? Or why am I not improving? Or why am I not happier? Or why is this particular area of my life?

Why am I still stuck? What is going on? And again, the method came out of me being stuck and figuring stuff out and then saying, okay, how can I teach other people to get unstuck? So that's sort of the basis of it. I want to dive into the process of acceptance, surrender, mindset, shift.

Chase Kosterlitz
But first, I'm kind of struck by you repeating these signs from your story. And the reason is because I recently have had some really interesting, I would call them serendipitous things that happened to me and that I'd like to share and for context. And everyone has a different relationship with spirituality. If you, as you said, were raised in the catholic church or you're finding your own path, and we've had episodes about cultivating spirituality, I consider myself someone open and spiritual. That's a very broad term, and also someone who's hyper skeptical in my logical brain.

So with all that being said, I'd love to have a conversation, a little detour here about signs and hear your story. But I want to share what happened to me recently. About two months ago, I was fortunate to go visit my brother in Hawaii and my daughter Stella. And I traveled two days to get there from Costa Rica. And we get there, and we get to the house that we are renting.

And literally, as we pull in, I see two birds flying over the house, and I feel like I love nature. So I see these birds and I hear them, and I was like, those are parrots. Parrots in Hawaii, sure. But those sound like parrots from Costa Rica. Scarlet macaw in particular.

I have a tattoo of a scarlet macaw feather. One of my first tattoos across my whole thigh. I love them. Anyways, they go behind the house, and then as I look up and they're. My view is blocked.

And then they land, and it confirms, like, these are scarlet macaws, and they don't live in Hawaii. They're not native there. And so they circled around the house and they landed, and they're beautiful parrots, and they just landed. And I'm like, stella, come here. Look.

And I'm like, these are someone's pets, obviously, because they don't live in the wild there. But it was just. It was super interesting, right? And then they stuck around the house for, like, ten minutes. They even came up on the porch.

They're very intelligent. They're curious. I'm like, what is going on? This is so cool. Beautiful.

And then about ten minutes later, they take off, and they fly over the mountain into the distance. And I was like, oh, that's curious and special and neat. You know, what are the chances? My favorite bird, I have it tattooed on me. Within minutes of pulling up to this house, they kind of visit us because they were flying over the house and came in.

And then a couple weeks later, I get home, and I had several other interesting bird things happen, one that I'll share, because I'm not going to share all of them, but I'm working where I am right now, where I'm talking to you, and a bird pecks on the window. And at first I didn't know what it was because I've lived here two years. I work at this desk every day. That's never happened. And I look out, and then it kind of flies away.

And it did that like three or four times. And then it brought my attention to this beautiful scene of ants carrying flowers. You know, we have these army ants and then a hummingbird. And it was just liKe, REALly beautiful and interesting. And there was another thing where I found a bird feather the next day after that.

And it just so happened that that same bird species had visited my girlfriend who lives 5 hours away that day, and she was whistling at it, and she had an interaction with the same bird of this beautiful feather I found. So, all that being said, as someone who is open to exploring my spirituality, I didn't know exactly what to take from that, those experiences, other than. And what I interpreted it as, is that when I pay attention to the universe and to my world as I try to do, I notice beautiful, magical things. But these all seem to be correlated. And again, didn't put it to anything beyond that, other than it was super curious.

And so, as someone that just mentioned signs and tapping into them, and I know that's a lot of your work, how can I? I don't know. Like, I don't want to say, how can I bring greater meaning? Because it's the meaning that I put on it. And like I said, my meaning was, wow, that's special and curious.

I'll stop there because I could keep going, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. Yes. Yes. Okay, so. So I believe that there are no coincidences, there are no accidents, right.

Tammy Mastroberte
Everything that you encounter, everything that happens to you, even though it may look like chaotic and make no sense, is happening for a reason, is leading you to something, is trying to tell you something. And I include animals in that. I believe that any animal that crosses our path, whether it be our pet or whether it be a random bird that you see somewhere, right, is interacting with us for a reason. So a lot of the time when. When you.

I mean, you obviously have an affinity toward birds, and so you have your own meanings for that. But the other piece of that that I tell people is when you continue to have interactions or random occurrences or things happening with it, with the same type of animal over and over and over. Right? It could be you keep seeing a grasshopper, and you're like, I never see grasshoppers. Or you keep seeing a particular type of butterfly.

Why do I keep seeing this one butterfly? I tell people, look to see what the meaning is behind that particular animal, right? It could be a squirrel, whatever. But what I tell people is go online and look up what is the metaphysical meaning of x, y, and z. It could be birds in general.

It could be a particular type of bird, especially if you keep seeing it within a short time frame. Because what the universe does to try to get our attention is it will repeat things because we're busy, because life is chaotic, and because it's super easy to miss stuff when the universe is trying to get your attention, either to reassure you of something, to wake you up to something new, or to further you on your path so that you continue moving forward, it will repeat things to get your attention. So when you see something thing repeating over and over, I would look it up. I've done this even with a fly that. And I think in my first book, I talk about this story, but I was in the Starbucks one time doing work on a, I think it was on a weekend, and I had a deadline, and I had things that I had to do.

And so I was feeling a little guilty that, like, my family was at home, and here I was sitting at this Starbucks trying to get work done. And this fly, it was a huge Starbucks. It was massive. And I was just sitting at. Sitting in a chair with a little table next to me.

And this fly was just around me and around me and around. And I was like, this is ridiculous. There's a huge Starbucks. Like, why is he chilling with me? Then I would be working, and, like, he would land on the table next to me.

I give him he. I don't know, it could have been a female lying, you know, on the table next to me, sitting on my dream. It was like hours of work went by, and this guy wasn't leaving. And so I even texted my husband at the time. I'm like, I'm literally, he's like, how are you doing?

I'm like, I'm being harassed by a fly. And so eventually I was like, I wonder if. I wonder if there's a reason that out of this whole Starbucks as fly is with me, I wound up googling the metaphysical meaning. And it literally talked about me, like, specifically, like, work and not to feel selfish for focusing on work. And it was just exactly what I needed to hear at the time.

And I will tell you that as soon as I googled it, the fly left and never came back. And so it was like, okay, little guy, I got that. You were annoying me, but I got the message. And once I got the message, his work was done and he left. And so it can be anything.

But animals, even insects, have messages for us and the universe, your angels, your guides, whatever you believe in, will work to get those messages across to you. I guess, you know? And again, I've had these experiences and then my rational mind and just what I experienced. It's like when you get a car and suddenly you start to see that car all over the road because your attention is now brought to this particular thing. I've talked with friends about this bird experience, and we have interesting conversations about spirituality.

Chase Kosterlitz
And it's, again, I love this idea of serendipity and that the universe. Sometimes I struggle with the idea that maybe it is just random and also maybe it's not. And because I'm paying attention, I'm picking up on the pattern, if that makes sense. So it's through cultivating whatever you want to call it. Some people will call it awareness or spirituality, but through paying attention to ourselves and our environment, we do start to see the magic in the world.

And my personal feeling is that it doesn't necessarily have to have a higher, deeper metaphysical interpretation other than that we live in an amazing, magical world, that birds fly around and they're beautiful colors, and that a bird tapped on my window. And that maybe as I become more aware, through just paying attention, that this magic appears. And maybe that is something deeper and more meaningful. But again, I always just get stuck on. Not that I don't want to call it, like, the final phase, but like, the final interpretation.

Like, again, I could go, well, birds are, historically, in a lot of indigenous cultures, linked to spirituality. They're the first things that make us look up to the skies and the heavens and that I need to cultivate my spirituality. That could be an interpretation or it just be. I love nature and I pay attention to birds, and so I'm going to notice those things as opposed to someone that could care less or they're stressed out by work and they never really notice. Another anecdote along that is, and I think all this as a point, this discussion, hopefully get people thinking.

But I enjoy finding feathers, and I look for them, especially when I go to certain areas where there's scarlet macaws, I know where to look. I spend hours. It's very meditative. And I talked to a couple living there in that area and like, oh, wow, you found some feathers this morning. I was like, yeah, yeah, check them out.

It's like, do you guys ever find feathers? They're like, no, no, we never find them. And they were like, disappointed. And I go, oh, well, do you look for them? And they're like, no, come to think of it, no, we don't really look.

And so I love that anecdote because it's like, well, of course you're not finding them. So maybe it's also, I think it's kind of to what you're saying. Unless we're paying attention and looking for things, if we're looking for meaning, if we're looking to improve our relationship and trying to bring awareness to it, unless we're doing that, it's not going to happen on its own. We're not going to just magically, it can happen, but more often than not, find that feather, the metaphorical feather. Unless our attention is going to it.

And then suddenly they start to appear. Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors.

Sarah Kosterlitz
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Tammy Mastroberte
Yes. And what I find is that, first of all, I'm with you on the skeptical thing, because the first time I went to a medium, we lied on all the paperwork because we didn't want to research anything. So I'm. I'm a Virgo, and I'm with you on that. Um, and that's why I think everything that I teach is, like, practical and, like, try it and have your experience, because we need to have our own experiences in order to really grasp something and in order to really believe and have faith in something.

I can tell you the most amazing stories in the world, but if you don't experience it yourself, it's really hard to believe it. But in terms of the noticing the feathers thing, what I find is sometimes the universe, whatever you want to call it, just wants you to know that you're not alone. Right. Just wants you to know that it's around you, that it's supporting you, and so it will use different things. What I find is when you notice something and think there's a meaning behind it.

Or you think like, oh, these feathers are, you know, connecting me to birds that I love. And it just makes me think of this higher connection. You will continue to get that same sign over and over because it worked, right? Because it, it connected you to something. And so the universe will continue to use feathers over and over again.

Like when my mother passed away, anytime I saw her birth date, I would go, oh, my mother's around, right? Well, she was like, oh, she's correlating me with her birth, my birth date. So I can use that. And so it's almost like you're assigning signs in a way. So for you, it's feathers.

For somebody else, it could be a ladybug, right? And that, that sort of brings you back to that connection. But I feel like once you notice it and you go, oh, this is, this. That's how you sort of start communicating. And the universe is like, oh, he, he gets feathers.

So when he sees feathers, he feels more connected or he feels connection. So we're going to drop feathers around because that's what he's noticing. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Chase Kosterlitz
And you did mention faith. And through my conversations around this, I seem to always get to a point where, you know, I'm hyper skeptical or logical, but also trying to be open where it does feel like at a certain point we see the signs, but then we have to have faith in whatever it is that we're putting our faith in. And there's magic. And that can be special, too. At a certain point, unless the bird comes and talks to me and says, hey, this is what we're trying to tell you, there's going to be room for interpretation.

And I think more than anything, it's just cultivating that awareness. And for me, it's just beauty. And the idea that we have consciousness, to even take in these signs and interpret them, to me is a miracle and special in how unique it is to be alive under all the circumstances that brought us to this point, that you and I can have this conversation, that our listener out there can listen and then go, yeah, maybe I am going to pay more attention to my surroundings and maybe that alone in presence and conscious awareness, because that's really one of the only things that matters. If we're always distracted and in our head and not experiencing life, then so what? So maybe just that.

That is special and powerful message that I can take and have took from my experiences and someone listening can. Yes. Yes. Because we are so surrounded by chaos. And whether it's in our own lives, whether it's what we're watching on the news, whether it's social media, whether whatever we're taking in right.

Tammy Mastroberte
Is distracting and it's chaotic and it tends to cause us to focus on the negative or the things that are going wrong in our life. Right. And when you are stuck, whether you're stuck or unhappy in a relationship, in your career, around money, whatever it might be, maybe you're looking for a relationship and don't have one yet. When you are stuck, you tend to get sucked into what is going wrong. Right?

What is this? Is this I don't have this yet, or I'm not happy in this, and we get stuck in that. And sometimes these experiences that help us see the beauty can shift us, but we also have the ability within ourselves to consciously and purposely look for what is going right in our life. If you. If you want to create a relationship and you want to find a love relationship and you don't have one yet, be grateful for the relationships you do have.

Maybe you have amazing friendships, right? Where can you focus your energy to feel good so that you're putting that out there and you're not so focused on, here's what's going wrong. Here's where I'm stuck. Because that energy, the more you can kind of bring yourself back and boost your own mood, the more you are going to notice the subtleties, the more you are going to notice the overhear the conversation in line at a Starbucks. That's going to give you the answer that you need.

The more that you're going to be, the more you can sort of tame that chaos and shift your mindset to purposely looking for what is going right, the more receptive you will be to the signs, the synchronicities, the new ideas that pop into your head, the conversations you overhear, the opportunities that come through that can help you get unstuck, that can help you fix your relationship, find a new relationship, create a better job, or whatever it might be. I love that, bringing it back to how we started. And I love free flowing conversations. So I'm not trying to keep us on a single track. In yeah, negativity bias is definitely a thing.

Chase Kosterlitz
And I recently saw a therapist online who had a great exercise. I just want to share real quick around this, and as someone who can definitely be skewed towards the negative, like I think all of us can, I really resonated. And that was instead of finding reasons why our friend or our partner doesn't love us, which I think that's where the brain goes. It's like, see, they did that. That's why they essentially don't love us.

It could, you know, not be that dramatic of a thing, but we're looking for that instead of putting our focus there. When they do things, which is probably very often, that do make us feel good, remind yourself, this is why they love me so much. Right? So just having a practice of paying attention and reinforcing that as opposed to, I know I definitely can get in my head and overthinking and see, they did that or they did that and it's. That's easy.

What, what's harder to cultivate is go, oh, they picked up my favorite sandwich yesterday. Man, they must really love me a lot. And, and then when we're able to train our brain to skew towards the positive like that, I think we're going to see more beauty, we're going to feel more in love, we're going to feel deeper friendship, and it's really a practice. I'm not. I read it.

I saw it. I'm not saying I've really put it into practice, but. But I want to. Before we continue on, we're going to take a short break to tell you about our sponsors.

Sarah Kosterlitz
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Hey love tribe, I just want to ask you a few questions. I want to know why you guys are here. Are you here because you want to stop bickering with your partner? Do you want to feel truly heard? Are you looking for ways to reignite your sex life?

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Tammy Mastroberte
I tell you something, my husband and I, so we'll be married five years in October, I think within, I think it was about, and we were together, you know, for years before we actually got married. So we've. It's probably been about eight years or so. And I think it was about a year after we got married that we started doing this exercise that we still do today. Every night, no matter where we are, no matter what we're doing.

He could be out, I could be out. Whenever somebody's going to bed, we tell the other person or text the other person three things that we're grateful for about that person. And often it's what, it's something that they did today, right. So what that does is it trains your brain to start looking, because you know that at night you're going to have to report back for things that you're grateful for to that person, right. So it trains your brain to start purposely looking and focusing on the things that are being done that you can be grateful for.

So whether they took the trash out, we have goats. So I appreciate him for going to feed the goats so I don't have to go out to the barn. Right. Taking the recycling out, you know, getting me a drink when we were watching tv, you know, whatever it might be, and big things, little things, but. And we always wind up with more than three at the end of the night.

But it's just a practice that we got into and started doing. And because like you said, we're so quick to look at what the person isn't doing that we want, or to look at how our need is not being met in a certain area or to be aggravated that they left the towel on the floor or whatever it might be, this forces you to start looking for and focusing on, oh my gosh, what do I. There are so many things that I have to be, so many little things that I can be grateful for in this relationship. And it really trains your brain to start looking at that and counteracting some of the stuff that we normally get stuck on. I love that.

Chase Kosterlitz
And I think given this podcast and relationship advice sphere in general, we tend to focus on fixing communication, fixing things in the bedroom, creating boundaries, and all of that is important. And I think filling up the cup with exercises like this is a important and productive way. It's still fixing, but it's from the positive side, right. If your communication needs to be improved, sure. And I'm not saying don't do that.

And maybe we don't need to go straight to, hey, let's communicate better. Instead of, if we cultivate gratitude for each other, it's going to kind of lift that up and make it easier to communicate because we're not going to be in our head about why our partner did us wrong. Right. Right. And the other thing, the other thing, too, like, for somebody who might be listening and saying, oh, well, my partner would never do that, like that, you know, he or she is not the type of person to do that.

Tammy Mastroberte
You can do it without them knowing because energetically, they will feel it. Right. So one of the exercises in the higher help method, I have it broken down by the second part of the book is broken down by tools and exercises per life area. So there's a whole relationship section. And one of the exercises to do, if you want to repair a relationship, bring more harmony to a relationship and not necessarily involve the other person if they're not open to it.

What I tell people to do is take a picture of the person or look at them, you know, look at a picture online or whatever on social media and literally talk to the picture and say, you know, I'm so grateful for, you know, use their name, I'm so grateful for blah, blah, blah. And just name a couple things, feel the gratitude. You put it out there. They don't even know you're doing it. I've had people do this exercise when they were in an argument with someone, and then out of the blue, they'll get an email or they'll get a response from the person, and they're like, I can't believe it worked.

Because energetically, they may not consciously know that you're doing it, but you're shifting your energy and your focus, and that does have an effect on the other person. So you can do this without your husband and wife even knowing you're doing it. Try it and see what actually happens from it. I love that. And, yeah, we have the power to create the change.

Chase Kosterlitz
A lot of times we point the finger, if our partner would only do this or that, then I'll be okay. And we need to start with ourselves. And that's a. Another example of creating the change to start from within. I want to talk about moving through the challenges, and we touched on it a little bit.

One of the things that I think is one of the first steps in moving through a challenge is acceptance and cultivating an acceptance of whatever it is that we're going through. I certainly struggle with this. Can you talk about how we can gain more acceptance yes. So one of the biggest things that I tell people, if at any point you're facing any challenge in any area, the first thing you have to do is stop fighting against it. You have to stop saying, it shouldn't be this way.

Tammy Mastroberte
Why is it this way? Poor me. It's the, you know, calling everybody. Can you believe this is going on? And you sort of get stuck in this cycle of, again focusing on the problem.

You are never going to find a solution in the stress of the problem. You're only going to find a solution when you shift your energy out of that. So what you need to do right away is say, I'm not going to fight against this because it's happening, because I'm in this situation. So fighting against it is not going to make it go away. I have to just say, you know what, I may not like it, but I'm just going to accept that this is where we're at.

And that is the first step to say, you know what? This is what's happening, and I'm going to be okay. And you know how I know I'm going to be okay? Because if I think back to other times in my life where the bottom has fallen out, where I thought this is the end, I got fired from a job, a relationship ended, you know, I lost a bunch of money, whatever it might be, where did it take you? Because I guarantee you it took you somewhere.

And oftentimes it takes you somewhere better than you thought you are, where you were at the time. So that firing of that job, maybe you got another job where not only are you making more money, but you're happier and you met somebody there, right? So if you can look back in your own life and find these times where everything was a mess but beauty came out of it, it is easier for you now to accept, okay, I don't know where this is going because this is miserable right now, and I'm not happy and I'm not, you know, in a good place, but, you know, I know in other times in my life that it's led me somewhere so I can trust and try and have faith that this is leading me somewhere. And that's where I tell people to sort of call on what I call higher helpers, the universe, gods, goddesses, angels, whatever, whatever your background is, whoever you rely on. And in the book I give you specialized, you know, specialized, higher helpers under all different religions and all different categories to choose from, that you can say, listen, I'm going to accept where I am.

I'm going to stop fighting against it so that I can release the resistance. Once I release that resistance, now I can start looking for solutions. Now I can start asking the universe to help me, to send me the ideas, the signs, to let me overhear the conversation, to give me the. Send the people into my life, give me the name of the book, can assist me in this, whatever it might be, to help me move toward a solution. But if you don't get to that acceptance, if you are still fighting against it, it is going to be a million times harder for you to actually move through it and move on to whatever that better thing is.

Chase Kosterlitz
Zachary, one of the other words that comes to mind when moving through a challenge and that we hear a lot is surrender. And I feel like it's a close cousin to acceptance. Can you talk about surrendering? Yes. So even when you're trying to create a change.

Tammy Mastroberte
Right. And so let's say, you know, especially if we're talking about relationships, let's say you want a particular outcome or you want to attract a specific type of person, right? We all think we have a type. And so let's say you're like, this is what I want, and this is what, you know, I only want a job for this company, or whatever it might be. If you don't let go and allow yourself to be guided forward by a power that knows way more than you do, right.

And can make it a lot easier for you than you can do on your own, if you don't sort of let go and just allow things to play out, number one, you're back into that, creating the resistance because you're holding on so hard that this is exactly what I want. And this is the only thing that I'm going to be looking for, because this is exactly what I want. And if the guy or girl doesn't look like this, have this type, type of job, this tall, this color hair, whatever it might be, then that's not for me. Then you are going to miss out on something that could be incredibly better than what you think you want. Right?

We think we want this. But what if there's something that's going to make you even happier? I always say, go back in your life to people that you dated in the past that you thought, this is the one I'm never going to find. I can't believe it. I have to be with this person.

And then look at where you are now. If you're in a relationship and think back to those people. I think. I think. Thank you.

Thank you, thank you. That I didn't wind up in that situation. Right. But at the time, we think that's what we want. If you have a little bit more surrender and trust that maybe I'm going to be guided to something better, then you're more open to maybe a guy who isn't the exact height or have the exact eye color that you think you want or whatever it might be, and that is your perfect person.

There are so many times in my life, even down to the house that I live in now, that I was 100% against and it was nothing thing that I wanted. And now I love it. And so when you put surrender into it and you just allow yourself to be guided a little bit more by the signs, by the higher helpers you're calling in, by the universe itself, it can take you to places you would have never expected then if you were doing it on your own. Well, we got acceptance and surrender. And before we wrap up here, I want to see if we could touch on one other tool to move through a challenge.

Oh, my gosh, there's so many of them. But I would say. I would say the biggest thing is your mindset, right? Your mindset and the way that you're approaching it. So again, you want to accept that things are the way they are and I'm going to stop fighting against it.

You want to call in the help and ask to be guided, show me the signs, give me those repetitive things over and over again, the name of a book, whatever it might be. And then you really want to start focusing back on what is going right. And how can I bring more joy into everything that I'm doing throughout the day? Because that's going to boost me as well, right. That's going to get me out of what's going wrong.

If I'm enjoying something, I'm not focused on what's going, you know, what is going bad in my life. And so if you can start looking for what is good, doing it several times a day, set an alarm on your phone and just stop, especially in the area that you're stuck. So if you're stuck in relationships, set an alarm on your phone. And at that point when the alarm goes off, just think of either things that you're grateful for in your current relationships, or let's say you're trying to attract a relationship. Be grateful for the things that you are excited to do with that person and see yourself with this person.

And I'm traveling or whatever it might be, and focusing on the good aspects and the good feelings of things and then in terms of bringing joy into everything you do, we all have things we do throughout the day that suck our energy down that we don't want to do, whether it's email, whether it's a meeting, whatever. I always tell people, how can you infuse joy into something that you have to do? So if you have to commute to work, can you listen to a podcast? Can you listen to an audiobook where maybe now you're excited to get into the car? Because I can't wait to hear the next chapter.

I can't wait to hear the next episode. If you have to go do certain things that you don't want to do and you can't, there's nothing you can do within that to make it better, how can you reward yourself afterwards? So now you're focused on the joy of what's coming. So if you can start shifting your own mindset consciously around that, it will help you move through the challenge, it will help you be more open to opportunities that are coming in and notice them. And it's going to just make you feel better than when you're focused on here's what's wrong or here's what I'm.

Here's what shouldn't be happening. Well, I love these tips and I really enjoyed this wide ranging conversation. I'm going to be paying attention to my next visit from a feathered friend. And I think you gave our listeners a lot to think about, to pay attention to and tools to move through challenges. So thank you.

Chase Kosterlitz
Tammy. Before we wrap up, can you tell our listeners where they can find you online and then we'll say goodbye? Yes, absolutely. So my website is just tammymasterbirdie.com, where you can get, there's a free morning prayer there that you can add your own intentions into for the day and a couple of other tools to sort of open you up to the communication around you. But I'm also on all the social medias, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, all of that.

Tammy Mastroberte
And every Thursday I go live at noon Eastern on Facebook, YouTube and Instagram for what I call my weekly spirit boost, where I just share different teachings based on my work and share just stories from my own life that I think will assist other people on their spiritual path. Amazing. Well, we will have those links in our show notes and on our website. And thank you for taking the time to come on the show today. Absolutely.

Thank you for having me. Thank you guys so much for tuning into today's episode. As always, all the links to the guest as well as any of their recommendations will be in the show notes page. You can find the link to that in the episode description or by going to idopodcast.com. Click on the podcast tab up at the top and you will have access to all the episodes that we've ever done.

Sarah Kosterlitz
There are over 300 of them. And while you're on our website, if you haven't checked out our free 14 day happy couple challenge, we really hope you do. It's a free email challenge that we send to you. It's 14 days of fun, easy, doable challenges to help strengthen and improve your relationship. And if you're looking for something that provides a little more help with working on your relationship, whether it's improving intimacy or communication with your partner partner or just bringing the spark back, we would love for you guys to check out our online course, spark my relationship.

We're offering $100 off to all of our listeners if you go to sparkmyrelationship.com unlock. We worked with over 15 psychologists and therapists to create the real life tools and strategies that they are teaching their clients, so we wanted to give them to you. It's a self paced online course that can be done in as little as a month or up to three months. You can really decide how much or how little you want to do with your partner or maybe just yourself. So we hope you guys check that out.

It's sparkmyrelationship.com unlock. Have a great day.

Chase Kosterlitz
You are listening to a pleasure podcast. For more from our sex podcast collective, visit pleasurepodcasts.com.

456: Moving Through Challenges

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1: Introduction

2: Deep Dive into Spirituality

3: Moving Through Challenges

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