We Might Have Started The Fire

James
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Wade Barnes
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James
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Mark Fischbach
Good evening gentle listener, and welcome to distractable. This episode workhorse Wade forgets the brilliant burls, assigns anger acknowledgements and asks for it. Handy with some lush lyrics. Babysick Bob the stupendously stickless crushs computer voids and gets behind Chris Rock. Madcap Mark has fan issues turning tension and gets thoughtfully thwarted from bread, Fred and Furbys to three peens.

Yeah, its time for we might have started the fire. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

Wade Barnes
How's it going everyone? Boys are back. Welcome to another episode of distractible. Yay. I'm today's host Wade, joined by Mark and Bob, who also faded in with me.

How you guys doing? Good. I was trying to match the energy. Was that not the energy? I'm stupendous.

That's good. Anything new? I might explode. Oh, I will give you ten points if you explode randomly on camera.

Hmm. I don't know if Ed is edited in. Editors, can you make that bath? That bathtub Mark used to be an explode again. So there was a day a while back now where Mark and I recorded bread and bread and Fred.

Cause Bob, I think you couldn't be here. You had to leave early or something. That's a good game. Yeah, Mark posted it recently. I was reading the comments on the video and everyone was like, oh my God, Mark's finally not in the tub anymore.

And then someone was like, no, Wade posted this a minute ago. This was before the tub. Mark might still be there. Half the comments were just obsessed with whether or not Mark was ever leaving the tub. Man, people really love the tub.

You should get a tub in your house. They're good. Yeah. Have you ever had a tub in the house you live in, Mark? Never.

Mark Fischbach
Never. I have no evidence of a tub existing in my life. I'm not 100% sure. I think one of the fans in my computer has just misaligned and is now buzzing against the frame. Oh, sick.

James
Well, it's too bad you bought such a cheap computer. You know, if you had gotten a nice name brand one, you wouldn't have this sort of problem. Everything else, like technologically, that was fine. The annoying thing was I had committed this morning waking up and meditating. Last night I had read a big thing about how important meditation was, and I've said it before, and I fell out of it with all the work that I was doing.

Mark Fischbach
I was so ready. I've been getting good sleep. Finally for the first time in a while. Got in back home yesterday, like, ah, this is the start of the brand new me.

James
Oh, no. I got bad news for you, Mark. I gotta wake up. And I slept in a lot. I slept in, which is ordinarily great, but about 930.

Mark Fischbach
I roll over and look at my phone and I see texts from these bozos over here being like, mark, you good? Mark, you good? I didn't say it last night, did I? I didn't say I was good last night. No, you didn't.

Wade Barnes
Which is why we harassed. Double pitch it or something. Cause I didn't see it. Cause it just rolled in yesterday. I'm ready to start my new life.

Mark Fischbach
I'm like, oh, shit. Ha. Yeah. I hate whenever I have a driving, like, thing I've gotta do. And then my phone just doesn't get the texts.

Wade Barnes
It's wild how that happens. Like, your phone's just like, well, you had to drive today. You couldn't possibly have text to read. Oh, yeah, the automatic, like, do not disturb stuff. It's like, I should know.

Mark Fischbach
But the thing is, like, for the past four months, I've had the luxury of not having to wake up. Not early. Nine. Isn't that early, Wade? It's pretty early, judge Wade.

Wade Barnes
I get up at 09:00 a.m. pacific. You don't, though. That's. You complain about that.

James
That's still early. Sometimes it is, but I live, dude, Hawaii. If I was in Hawaii, I would be like a 10:00 a.m. riser. I'm a Hawaii.

Wade Barnes
You could tell by my tan, dude. If you lived in Australia, you would have been up yesterday. That's true. I was getting in tan just from. Just from being on the road.

Mark Fischbach
The sun has been brutally intense. Not only is it summer, but we're at a place of peak activity. You can even see on my forehead because I was wearing the headband. I've got a tan line. You got a headband, tan line.

You can see, like, it's slightly more tan here, less tan here. Because driving, um, driving back, you know, going west, you. I always forget. I don't know how, but I always forget that you've got the sun just blasting in your face for the last part of the day. And there's a lot of, like, solar activity today.

And I have no idea if that actually increases the amount of, like, uv rays pumping out of the sun. But, uh, it was brutal. What was I saying? There was something else. I had another point to this.

Wade Barnes
You started your day wanting to meditate, right? Fuck you guys. Yeah. How dare we do this thing that we've been doing for, like, two or three years, the same day? It was problematic because I got up and it was like the morning of interrupted actions, because I was like, I gotta go take care of the dogs.

Mark Fischbach
Oh, shit. I gotta go bathroom. Oh, man. I gotta make a coffee. Oh, no, Amy's making coffee.

All right, I'll take care of the dogs. Oh, she already got the dogs taken care of. So it's like, there's nothing that was going wrong in my life. But I felt really aggravated because there was so many little things that just like. Oh, no, I know that feeling.

James
Is there a word for that feeling? I feel that exact feeling a lot. Yeah. It's. It's something about I go to do something and it's already done.

Mark Fischbach
That should be a good thing. Or it's like. It's. It's. You know, a little thing trips up what I was doing.

It should be okay, but it was like. And in my mind, I was like, you didn't meditate. You didn't meditate. You didn't meditate. You didn't meditate.

And it was like, I got here. These guys can attest. I was pissed off. When I arrived, I was all. He hopped in to the call, and initially, he couldn't hear us, and we couldn't hear him.

James
He hopped into the call. It was literally, like, disappear. Oh, man, that's a good start. Well, he said something. He tried to say something.

Wade Barnes
He popped in and he was like. And then click. For those who are only listening, Wade looked in the camera with a half a smile and then frowned and then left. And that's what I did. Oh, yeah, dude.

It went from, like, I'm kind of annoyed, but, like, I'm here to mother fuck, like, gone. So are we doing small talk? Is that what we're doing right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's.

James
What's up, guys? We inspired a book, the Tree Poachers, by Zach Bolt. It was inspired by the. I think it was a bonus episode we did about the burls. And the dedication says, for Mark, bob and wade of distractable.

Hello, Mark. Are you taking the longest drink of coffee in history, or are you frozen? Hello?

Wade Barnes
Remember that noise Mark was talking about? His computer started making. I think something might have just gone horribly wrong. Hello. Hi.

James
Oh, okay. Okay. All right. Yeah, that. That was super weird.

Mark Fischbach
My Ethernet adapter just failed. I've never had that problem ever, and. It just started working again. Or did you have to, like, go into the device manager or something? I switched to Wi Fi.

If I go into my device manager, my Ethernet is now appearing and disappearing. And the whole adapter is, like, on and off. And what's weird is that's a motherboard integrated Ethernet adapter. Yeah, that's not great. I don't like that that happened.

Then I heard that weird fan whirring. That might not be a fan. That might be the power supply. Yeah, you might be in trouble this episode. Hey, you know, Mark, I think Corsair actually released a new version of the Corsair one.

James
You remember how you like those so much. Might be time to. Might be time for a new computer. No, because I'm so mad about that. I'm glad you brought that up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. So can we finish what I was saying before, though? The book? How much did you hear about the book? Because you were.

Wade Barnes
You froze taking a sip of your coffee, Bob, at one boy's, just like I was. Well, I talked for a solid minute and a half, and then you were still taking. And I was like, mark, are you gone? Or are you just taking the world's longest sip of coffee right now? Because you were just literally like.

James
Like. Anyway, fuck. God, Wade and I laughed the whole time you were gone. With you? Not at you.

Mark Fischbach
Good. I'm glad I'm providing the yucks. Anyway, this book is fiction based on historical events where people try and poach burls from redwood trees because they're very valuable. That's. That's hilarious.

James
And it's dedicated to us because this author listened to that episode where we talked about that and was like, oh, cool, and then wrote a book about it. That's awesome. I'm gonna buy a copy of that book. I have not read the book. I'm just gonna throw that out there.

I'm not endorsing that I like this or anything. I plan to read it. Clearly, I bought it. It's available on Amazon. But I just.

I was. I got it in the mail the other day, and I was like, I have to bring this up. This is very cool. And once I'm done reading it, I'll tell you if it's good or if it sucks a big ass. I hope that they also give credit to the original article.

Mark Fischbach
That we were talking about because I shamelessly was reading the story from the original article. Let me actually say it right now just so I can. I will say part one of the book is called when shit hits the fan. So I'm into that already. I just bought a copy of the book because, like, I need that in my life.

It was so funny. I want to make sure that it gets credit because it was just a really, really funny article. I didn't even find it first. That was lead researcher Pam in the field. I couldn't even tell you what a burl is or was.

Wade Barnes
The fact that you guys are referencing this and remember it. I have zero recollection of this ever happening. You don't remember us talking about the burls and the. I remember the word because I was like, that's a funny word. But, like, I remember literally nothing else.

James
Literally in the discord. We're called the burls because of that episode. And that's. Yeah. Don't know what it is.

Wade Barnes
Okay, listen, you guys can laugh, but, like, it's actually, like, one of those parts of my memory that makes me nervous is that the fact that I cannot have. I have no memory of that discussion. I just peeled to the back of the book because there's an acknowledgement section and there's a paragraph where this person talks about how they grew up watching our YouTube videos. And the sentence reads, their grasp on me. Go even further back to when I was a kid, watching Mark play turbo dismount, watching Bob play I am bread.

James
And watching Wade be bald literally everywhere, even in the most serious of acknowledgments, Wade. I wasn't even bald till, like, three or four years. That's true. When they were a kid. What?

Wade Barnes
Yesterday? Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading this book. I, uh. I was. I kind of.

Can I refund my purchase? Oh, they also have stuff about cannolis in this paragraph. That's a real listener right there. Anyway, I'll read it and I'll report back. But on a similar note, I have a little something here that is a one off.

We will not do this for everyone, but this is a throwback to something that happened at conventions a while back. Derek Schultz, you're fired. Yeah. What? What?

Mark Fischbach
You heard him. Derek Schultz, you're out of here. Your boss sent me a nice email and asked if I could do him a favor, and it turns out you're being downsized. So get your crap out of the office and turn in your keys. You're out of here.

James
What was your thing? Was that not your thing? Wade and Kayla Mantone. Kayla Mantone. If you're out there, say yes to marrying Felix Disla.

Wade Barnes
This is not. We're not presenting an option. We're just telling you to say yes. I don't know if that was what I was asked to do, but I am ordering you to say yes. So hopefully you're in a happy relationship and you're wanting to, but this is now an arranged marriage or something.

I don't know. But you're welcome. Got your back, Felix. I'll take payment through the normal ways. Probably won't be doing that for anyone else, but this was a special request.

It reminds me of the proposals we used to do. You know what I proposed to Molly. You two know this. I did it on stage. And the same day there was another proposal request that we did at the same time.

And I always think about that, but we used to have a lot of proposal requests at convention. You just had to do yours first. I see how it is do. We were walking around like we were constipated. We had to get that out of our system.

We couldn't have done the panel otherwise. Who's we? What we were. We as a collective, were not on rea game. Realize I was included in this.

You were part of we. You might have been the most collected, but, like, Sean, Mark and I were all walking around like we had a stick shoved up our ass. And it was very obvious in the. Video, I had no sticks in my ass. I was fine.

Mark, do you have anything else you want to talk about before I jump into my stuff? I haven't talked about anything. I couldn't remember because you had your long coffee sip. I was going to go into the spiel of all the hardware that I've come back to and talking about that and talking about the latest thing that's going to make people so mad about me talking about it. I can't wait for people to be pissed.

James
Is it a render farm? I forgot a drink. You can't say that word in front of it. Render farm. Did Render farms kill his family?

Mark Fischbach
Yeah, probably. I'm gonna go with yes. Give a swallow and immediately know you did it wrong and you're fucked. Did you just do that unrelated to me saying the word render farm, or was that unrelated? I was just taking a sip and my body was like, I should breathe that.

I do that all the time. I discovered that my brother also has the same issue. We both have trouble with swallowing sometimes. We, like, always, always get. You have a drinking problem?

Yes. But anyway, stop distracting me. Corsair one. Piss me off. You know why?

Because they're quitters. Cause they couldn't do it. What does that mean? I feel like they just released a new computer. I confused what you mean.

No, no, no, no. If you look at that new computer, you see what's wrong with it is it's double the size of the previous corsair ones. And if you look at it, oh, wouldn't you believe it? It's exactly the same as a normal small form factor computer. The great thing about the corsair one s is that they were a novel form factor.

That was a pillar, just a pedestal. It had incorporated the liquid cooling so that the board on either side were split and two radiators were pulling air in and shooting it out the top. It was such a great design. It was probably hard to engineer. And they quit and made this other one that is even more expensive than the one before.

I bet they were losing money on the corsair ones. That's a lot of engineering to make that form, the original form factor. So prop. But they already did the engineering. Have you seen how big 4090s are?

James
This says that they get. They come with core I nine, 4900 ks and 4090s in them. Those things alone, the motherboard and that card, are bigger than the space that the original corsair one occupied. But they're actually not, because the board itself, the actual just the board, is not much bigger. Well, so what?

They're gonna custom design a liquid cooling block and make an AIO liquid cooler for the graphics card and include that in it? That's what they did. I didn't realize that. I thought that was air cooled still. That had a liquid cooled graphics.

Mark Fischbach
No, no, it was. It was a. It was a custom water block for. Cooler than I thought it was. It's still.

It's still an a water block. AIO in this new form factor. They did all of the steps up until making the fucking pedestal. And I get it. I'm not making products out here, but they made the product, and it was great, and I loved it.

I carried. Oh, there's a lot of dead space, and if you look at the chassis cutaways, there's a lot of empty space in there. I know, and that's what's so tragic about it, is because you guys know, I carried that, my old corsair one. I carried it everywhere because I could. I was using it all the way up in.

In when I was making this movie, I recorded all my stuff on the road for the past few years on a corsair one. And now this piece of shit comes out and it's exactly the same as another. Like, I have to look elsewhere for a small form factor computer because they just didn't want. Just go bigger. Mark, have you tried a gaming laptop?

Wade Barnes
Not all good things come in small packages, Mark. Sometimes bigger is better. Like, with penises. It's about the density. It's about.

Mark Fischbach
It's not about girth, it's not about length. It's about density. Right? Fill it up with, like, some foam or something. Put something in there.

James
Look, I'm. I was totally not on your side until they show the. There. If you go to the website, they show the inside of the case. All the extra space they added is just emptiness.

It's. And I'm not saying it would be easy to just compact that all into the same sort of form factor as the first ones were, but it would totally fit. That's ex. That's entirely doable based on the amount of dead space. I wonder if the thing was, they would have needed a custom motherboard design or something.

Mark Fischbach
No, because they used a mini ITX, which is a standard size for those motherboards. Do many ITXs have all the channels and bandwidth for shit that you need for things like a 4090 and like. Yeah. Cause it's still a mini ITX in there. The motherboard is still.

This is like the same size as what they have before the graphics cards. I'm not sure if it's exactly the same size, but it's a very similar size. And even if they didn't go with a 4090, why not just put a 4080 in there? They didn't do any of the newest generation cards. And my last corsair one has and does not have a 3090 in it.

It has a 3080, and I'm fine with that because it's for the road. I didn't even need. That's. Yeah, that's not why people buy these. If you buy this computer, it's because you want it to be as small as physically possible.

James
Clearly, we would not be bothered if you had an 80 series instead of a 90 series. And in something like this, they could still rectify this. They should come up with a corsair .5 that's half the size. They should come out with a markiplier edition. Really small and angry.

Mark Fischbach
I would love it. And angry. You can turn your computer on just like, what the fuck you want. I'm trying to meditate. When it starts to get really hot and the fans really start ripping, they get to give that voice clip of mark where he shifts gears while he's screaming.

James
It's like, fades away. Yes, yes, yes. Yuck it up. Yuck it up, guys. No, you know what, buddy?

I'm sorry I brought it up. You're absolutely correct about that. That's disappoint, that they are quitters. And I know exactly what you mean. Now that you've explained yourself, it's.

Mark Fischbach
It's just disappointing, because for three generations now, they've had a better solution, a solution that I liked and people started to enjoy. And the worst part is, no one in the reviews called them out on this. No one in the reviews ever called them out on this. No one mentioned anything about this different form factor. They were like, oh, it's got wood paneling.

And I'm like, you all are paid off by this company to like this. And no one's saying the truth. And I'm saying the truth. And I like Corsair. Don't get me wrong.

I like their stuff. I usually choose their peripherals and their. Their modules when I'm building computers, which I haven't done in a while, but recently I have. I'm not a huge Corsair fan. I've had bad luck with some stuff, like, random bad luck.

James
Not their fault. I just bought faulty ram sticks and stuff. The corsair one was a thing. I thought that they particularly did a really good job coming up with a product that's like. That's not a wide leaf needed use case, maybe, necessarily, but that was a very specific use case that only that one thing occupied.

There's nothing else. Like the corsair one, the old corsair one that is available currently. You could custom build maybe something that's kind of that small, but it would not be as convenient and as good of an engineering package if you did it yourself. Yeah, absolutely. And it's just disappointing.

Mark Fischbach
That's really all it is. It just amounts to it being just disappointed. And I know what people are going to say is like, hey, if you build your own computer, it's going to be cheaper anyway. You can do small form factor is like. A lot of people don't have the technical know how to make a small form factor computer.

It's relatively easy to build a regular computer. Cause it's mostly nowadays plug and play. You plug this into this, and it doesn't go in any other way. You have enough physical space. It's not a big deal.

Yeah. Small form factor takes some actual technical know how. You have to deshroud cards, you have to put it in a certain way. You have to get a case that's specifically for it and get cards specifically for that. And it's not just about getting a 4090.

There are many vendors that make four thousand ninety s and their boards are different sizes. But could it be that that heat's an issue? No, it wasn't in the first one. When it's water cooled like that and the way they did the radiators, it actually worked. It was an excellent solution because they had dual water cooled AIO radiators on either side, one for the motherboard and cpu side one for the graphics card.

It pulled air in from the sides, exhausted it out the top. It took advantage of the fact that hot air rises in thermal, like exhaust. It's what the Mac Pro, you know, the trash can one. Its whole concept was that, like, it exhausts out the top and it's better. They still do that now with the Mac studio.

They just don't advertise it that way. But when you orient a computer's fans and cooling system so that, it confuses. Me that that's not the normal way all computers are set up. But I don't want to talk about that right now. I, dude, I don't know, man.

James
Whenever I see a top mount radiator with fans sucking in and I'm like, but he rises, where's it going to go? Like out the back? Down out the back, obviously. Like he likes to do. Yeah, you know, he likes to go.

You think heat only rises? Heat's complicated. Sometimes he wants to go sideways and backwards. You don't even know. Sometimes heat relapses and gets cold.

We've designed a system that frustrates the heat in the computer to the point where it gives up and gets cold. We call that Apple frustration. Yeah, man. I don't know. Apparently I'm the only one in the world that doesn't like RGB.

Mark Fischbach
Cause I fucking, I have hated RGB on computer peripherals since like ten years ago. I've never liked it. I've never wanted it. I don't want rainbows shooting out of my computer. When I go to bed at night, the last thing I want is my computer to, and I know, like I usually I, people are probably, you turn things off at night is like, even back then I was doing folding at home.

So I like to keep my computer running and I like the idea of my computer working when I'm not using it. So I often keep it on, but I just never, never get the RGB stuff. I don't understand it. I want my computer to be as quiet and unobtrusive as possible. Just shove it away.

Don't have me even know it's there. Like, I have a dream of building, like a, like an airplane tight box in my office that has an intake pipe and an exhaust pipe that pipes air outside, like, out the house or out into the, out the window or something to where my computers don't even share the same air as my office because I hate how hot everything gets. And I want, like, a computer refrigerator cabinet that is, like, isolating. No, absolutely. You could probably tap into your dryer's exhaust vent because the house does have exhaust vents, and you could probably do that.

That's not a bad idea. And I think it could totally be done. Well, so I. This is not my office long term. I'm going to be moving to the basement in this house at some point here, actually, pretty soon.

You have a basement in your house? We do, yes. It's currently occupied by our roommates that are living with us, but moving out soon. But there is a basement in this house. But I want to, like, just exhaust my computer heat out into, like, the unfinished part of the basement and keep my, like, office.

James
I have dreams. Dreams, Mark. Well, get rid of those dreams. Shove them down. I thought you were the host for me.

Wade Barnes
I was like, oh, what's the topic? But I forgot that's me. I will have a plumbing update, but I might save it for the next episode to give the update. I have plenty more small talk. I'm trying to space it out.

Anything else you all want to cover? Need to cover before we jump into the episode. I'm sick. Can I get pity points? Yeah, you can have points.

James
It's just a little baby cold. James got a little baby icky. I think I spelled baby bl ey, but close enough. Is Bailey sick? If I asked what that is later, it's supposed to be baby.

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That's jerseymikes.com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. Spring cleaning isn't just something you should do for your house or your apartment. It's a good time to take another look at your budget and specifically at how much you're paying for your phone plan. Because if you're not using Mint mobile, you might be over paying right now.

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Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See mint mobile for details. Today's episode is something I like to do. I don't know if you guys like to do it, but I want help because it's hard for me to do this by myself. I'm not playing mobile games with you.

Wade Barnes
No, you're gonna help me masturbate. You guys know how I episode title is just, is it a circle or a triangle?

Mark Fischbach
Do you remember guys? Wait, do you remember the syndico sketch where you guys were in robes and you, the unholy circle jerk? Just a quick cutaway. Yeah. There were some that never saw the light of day that I wish to God did.

Wade Barnes
There was the dad said. The what? The dad skit where, like, I was wearing short shorts and, like, weird goggles and, like, a tight shirt. We were, like, sexy dads that just, like, looked at the camera, did, like, dad things. We were dressed like, why didn't that come?

I don't know. It never came out. I think that was also the one where you were smoking a cigarette dressed as an angel or something. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

Mark Fischbach
Holy shit. I remember how long it took to get that shot. Cause they were like, there's that spiral staircase, and we were all. And then it's in that video for, like, half of a second. Ah, it's such a good cutaway, though.

James
Though, is remember we were in the parking garage at the place where you were living there? And we were, like, screwing around, filming around cars, and people kept, like, coming home to their parking garage parking. And seeing us in robes, like, jerking each other off, getting in and out of cars, just being like, I fucking hate this place. I hate everyone that lives here. You guys suck.

Mark Fischbach
I'm pretty sure that's the how to be a youtuber sketch with Ross, which for some reason, people really didn't like. And that's a really funny sketch. I thought it was the funniest shit. Yeah, you like fucking jerking off on Sonic's quills? Yeah, like fucking.

James
Fucking a donut. The more you say this, the more I'm convinced I wasn't a part of this one. I don't think I was there for that one. I think it was before you were in town. I, like, got there and.

Or before or after you left or something. And Ross just came over and just did some funny shit for a while. What's crazy about that is, is people back then, you know, I often think, you know, people think today, people don't have any context clues about the Internet, and people, like, can't understand when something's a parody and something. And I get it's totally confusing now, but back then, I thought everyone could understand, like, that's a skit. That's not who this guy is.

It's a bit. It was so good. Now we have to be careful. Everything we say, as we've learned on this show, is taken very literally by the Internet, and we all really fucking hate each other, and then we don't. And then we do.

Wade Barnes
And then we actually survived a meteor for those ads. Like, there was really a meteor. The world ended. Things are taken very literally here. Of all the stuff we've done, I've definitely had some things where I couldn't stop chuckling and, like, it was very funny and I found it funny while we were doing it.

James
That bit where we're just sitting on the couch and Ross is just talking. It's one of the fucking funniest things I've ever had to be on camera for in my entire life. Like, literally, he just walks in, is like, yeah, you fucking game grumps. You fucking heard of us? I'm Ross from the game grumps.

You are beneath me. But he's just like, he just did that. It was unprompted. I'm pretty sure we just sat down and you were like, one of the syndical guys. Someone was like, all right, so you're teaching us how to be youtubers and you're be kind of a dick.

And then he just did all that shit and it was like, what the. Yeah, I think all he had was a notes of just, like, one line, ideas of things to talk about, like the coming on Sonic's quails, that kind of shit. But everything else was completely. You like fucking your mom? Yeah.

What?

Wade Barnes
Ross is funny. Check out Ross rubberross on Twitch. He's also very talented, very talented artist, and, like, he designs levels and stuff. No, no, no. Just funny.

Okay, nevermind. But today you guys are gonna help me write a song. Aw. Do you guys know how I like taking songs than, like, rewording the lyrics to be something else, but it's like the same tune, so I'm not. I'm not creative enough to write my own music, but I can take lyrics and change them.

James
Can we just. Can I just throw this out? Cause I'm. And I'm not. This is gonna sound accusatory, and it's not.

Cause I have an AI open in front of me right now waiting, ready to go. Cause I didn't know what we were doing. Can we do no AI for the lyrics? I literally. I never do.

Yeah, but Mark and I do all the time. Oh, no, I'm doomed. Yeah, so, you know, let's. Let's do this. So I don't even want you guys necessarily have to, like, write lyrics.

Wade Barnes
I need help finding ideas because the song I'm working on. You guys know the Billy Joel song, we didn't start the fire. Where it goes through the history of, like, 1949 to 1989. And it's in chronological order where it's like, you know, Bernie gets children of the lid on my dude. So I started doing this, and Fallout Boy wrote one.

Fallout Boy made a sequel to we didn't start the fire. But it's not in chronological order. They just have events kind of split all over the place. That upset a lot of people. Just like, well, I want to do this, like, and have us do it.

I started by myself, actually, a little while ago. Can I share this with you all? Probably. I've got a list down here. I wrote down some stuff like, you know, Obama being the first black president was a big deal.

Dale earn hurts dying, Columbine shooting. They're not all pleasant things, but these are all like the type of stuff that was in, like, the first song, right? They were like big events or important people or movies that changed the culture and stuff, you know, read my lips, which was George Bush, because he said that before 1989 or 1990, I believe. But the actual tax thing where he betrayed that, I believe, came out in 1990. So I put that in there.

So basically, like, starting 1990, working my way down. And this is, man, this is a. This is one of those things where I guess I didn't hear the lyrics. I thought it was a happy, fun song, and I'm sure a lot of people thought it was the same way. Let me bring up his lyrics.

I've got those, too. Yeah, wait, give me a briefer this, because I'm. There was a recently people talking about. Are you a lyrics listener? Are you a, like a beat listener?

Mark Fischbach
I guess I'm just a listening to the beat. Cause.

James
Happy, happy, happy, happy. The song just goes through history. And basically the premise is, like, there's always been shit that's going on. We didn't start it, but, like, bad shit happened during our time, too. But there was already bad shit.

Wade Barnes
Like, that's the premise of the song. It's like, we didn't start the fire. We tried to fight. We didn't light it. We tried to fight it, but we didn't start it.

It's always been burning. So what date range are we. Are we starting in 1989? Is that the thing? I believe so, 1989, I think, is when this song came out.

So I think 1990 is where we start. I've got some stuff here through 1995, but again, this is really rough. So, like, 1994 was whenever OJ Simpson's trial was where he was found not guilty, that was like a big event. Bill Clinton won the presidency back here, the Batman animated series. So you're looking for just more events to add into this.

Anything and everything we can do to, like, work on a sequel that we're happy with to the story song. So you guys can come up with lyrics. You can tell me that some of these lyrics, these are not good. Like, these lyrics I wrote were just kind of like filler to move on, but, like, they're not good. This is the first pass.

James
Like, well, I've got more events. Let's start. Let's start with, like, kind of like a brainstorm. I've got some events. Sure.

Wade Barnes
Okay, so events, people, big songs, shows, movies, anything that, like, if you were looking at a time capsule of the era you feel like would be worth representing that time period. Yeah. Let's go, Bob. What you got? 1990, Nelson Mandela is released from prison in South Africa.

James
91, the Soviet Union is dissolved. End of the Cold War. Cold War says goodbye was a lyric I had. You're missing a big 119. 89 of markipliers born.

Oh, me too. Me too. Oh, man. It's too bad we start in 90 because I was also born in 89, despite looking like the crypt keeper. You fucks.

Mark Fischbach
But should you come out the womb. Crypt keeper. Yeah. I'm like. I'm like the Benjamin button.

Wade Barnes
What's the Robin Williams movie where he ages fast? That's. That's me, Jack. Yeah. Anyway, to continue in 97, Hong Kong is handed over from the UK to China.

James
Okay. I haven't really done 1997 yet. I've got. I think I had Enron on here. When Enron collapsed.

Wade Barnes
I had Titanic came out in 1997. That was a big movie. I think at the time. 1999 euro is introduced as a currency. Do you just want one thing per year?

Not necessarily. I feel like the way I've kind of done it is it's almost a line or two per year, and then it kind of moves on. But not always. Like, some years are more competitive than others. It's more so, like, we have limited numbers of lines to work with here.

So I just copied and pasted this. We don't have to keep the same chorus, but, like, I find this shit fun. I don't know if you guys find it fun. I don't know if the audience finds it fun. I find it really fun to take songs and try to, like, do them.

This is the. Probably the hardest one to do because it's just like. He does it so compact. He starts off, it's Eric Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnny Ray, South Pacific, Walter Windshield, Joe DiMaggio, Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon studio Baker Television, North Korea. South Korea, Maryland, Monroe.

Like, how his first line goes, there's so much in there. And he does it with, like, one word, right? Like a name. North Korea. South Korea.

It's like, oh, okay. I know what that means. But there's just so much compact there with, like, just a name or a word. Whereas, you know, I've had a harder time. So mine have been, like, McVeigh and OKC.

OJ Simpson, not guilty. It's like, does it work? Yes. Is it great? No, it's rough.

Mark Fischbach
But we're only starting from 1990. Yeah, 1990, because he covered basically 1949 ish, I think, to 1989. I'm compiling a list. I have more years. So what years do you not have?

Wade Barnes
So I had stuff through 1995, like, typed out up here. Again, this is not a final copy. You can see what I've written. It's okay. It doesn't flow off the tongue very well, so it needs.

It needs editing. But I've got through 1995, and I've got some other events here. Like, I've got 1990. Seven's Titanic. 93 was Jurassic Park.

99, Star Wars Episode 196. 96 was one of the largest Cicada events. That was the last time it happened. It was. Wasn't it supposed to happen this year, too?

Mark Fischbach
Wasn't Cicada. Cicada supposed to annihilate us? There's different broods of cicada. I think what you're referring to is the one that covered, like, most of the midwest. Right.

There's a 13 year one and a 17 year one. Yeah. 96 was the last time that it synchronized. So both of those occurred at the same time. So I believe 96 was Cicada apocalypse.

Wade Barnes
I'll put it on here. I don't know if that's a world event or more of, like, a US event, but I'll put it on there. Uh, it's an America event and we're the world. 1996 is when the Port Arthur massacre happened in Tasmania, Australia, which led to very strict gun control laws. And all Australia way on the other end of the whole spectrum there.

Mark Fischbach
But 1999, the record for the mile was set at three minutes and 43 seconds and 0.13, and it hasn't been broken since. Do we have anything for 1997 other than the movie Titanic? Princess Diana died in her car crash in 1997. That's a huge one. Yeah.

James
In 2000, you could have something about Gore, Van Bush, dimple chads, hanging chads, election stuff. Ooh, I got a 94 one. Do you want one for 94? Yeah, we can put it on here. I mean, Amazon was founded by Jeff Bezos.

Mark Fischbach
July 5, 1994. A book company, stupid. Come on, Jeffrey, you can do it. Come on, Jeffrey. Get him.

Wade Barnes
So one of the fun things, if you listen to Billy Joel's version, he does fun stuff. Like, whenever he does Billy Holly, he introduces Billy Holly, but he does, like, one of Billy Holly's classic, like, noises he makes. He mentioned psycho. It has, like, the psycho stabbing noise. So he, like, he does do things to, like, reference the material that he's covering sometimes.

Like, there's an occasional, like, nod to stuff like that. So you could do something like that? Sure. I feel like I need to copy and paste. I have one thing for every year, and some of them are not so good, but it's.

James
A lot of them seem fairly usable. So here's the other thing I was trying to do. I was also trying to mix it up between songs, people, world events, athletes, actors, actresses, stuff like that. So, like, I would find a world event for each year because, like, there's literally, like, you can just go to like a Wikipedia and find like a year, and then it lists events and stuff like that. I was also trying to be like, okay, well, I want to do what kind of Billy Joel did and like, put also like, pop culture things, music things, movie things, theme park things, big news, world news.

Wade Barnes
Like, I was trying to find a mixture of things that were representative of that time capsule era. Katrina was in zero five. The iPhone released in zero seven. That was pretty, pretty substantial technological thing. Global Financial crisis 2008, a classic.

Mark Fischbach
Who could forget that classic, classic. 2010, Deepwater Horizon oil spill. Damn, he's got all of them. He's crushing me. Unfathomable damage, irreparable harm to the environment.

Wade Barnes
Imagine 2012, our YouTube careers. Drunk Minecraft, not me. Well, actually, I guess I was in that. Well, if you want to talk, YouTube was founded in 2005. That is pretty notable.

Mark Fischbach
That led to a lot of this. I love putting YouTube right next to Hurricane Katrina. That's a good combo for the lyrics. Listen, we're brainstorming. No bad ideas.

James
No bad ideas. No, no. I mean, really is like that in the song, though. Like, there'll be something like, good right next to something bad. 2013, Snowden leaks, NSA documents.

2014, russian annexes, Crimea. 2008, bitcoin was founded. Bitcoin got its start. So that kicked off Silk Road old school crypto back when it was just for buying heroin. The 2019 Notre Dame cathedral fire.

Just national world landmark heroin Heritage site. You guys remember anything important that happened in 2020? I feel like that's a real empty one. I've got something written for that year, but nothing too big. I don't know, something about a cold or something.

Mark Fischbach
Unus honest. 20, 2019. It started that end of the unison livestream lives in my head. Rent free forever. 2016 would have been Trump takes over the presidency, right?

James
Yes. Trump elected. I did not know that this happened. 2023, India officially surpasses China as world's most populous country. I did not hear about that.

Mark Fischbach
It's. It's. I think with India, the issue was it was very difficult to get an idea of just how many people they did have because a lot of the country, you know, wasn't as modernized. There was, like, a rapid modernization, but it was occurring, like, in waves going out to the extremities of the country. So it probably passed them a while ago.

It's really hard, apparently, to get a solid metric of how many people there are. When there's a billion people, it's kind of hard to count. You just count, like, 100 and then estimate. Right. What you do is you look at the country, you count how many people are stacked up vertically, and then you count how many people are stacked up horizontally, and then you multiply it.

James
December 2, 2001. SEC begins investigation into Enron. Oh, yeah. All of us didn't mention another big event in 2001. That would probably.

Mark Fischbach
I thought that was already on the list. I assumed it would. I didn't look. I did kind of assume that would be on the list. I mean, it should be.

Wade Barnes
I just didn't. I didn't get to the two thousands when I was making this. We have nothing on 2002 or 2004 right now. Oh, I had one for 2002. This is maybe not that interesting.

James
Other people, but I didn't know this. The ICC was established in 2002. The International Criminal Court, which is a place where countries can bring suit against other countries in regards to, like, acts of war or war crimes or inhumane treatment of people. And that's cool. Okay, we're missing 2004, 2006, and 2007.

I have a bad one for 2004. There was a tsunami in the Indian Ocean that killed almost a quarter million people. That's something. Oh, four. Facebook launched 2004.

Ooh. I also had Google in 1998. I don't know if you guys brought that one up, but I already had that on here. So one thing we don't have any time after, like, 1999 right now is any, like, big music things or movies. Shows like Game of Thrones would probably be worth putting on here.

Wade Barnes
That was a pretty big one when it was, like, in its heyday, 2004. Even more important than Facebook is during the halftime Super Bowl, Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson had a wardrobe malfunction. A wardrobe on purpose, if you ask me. Yeah. What did anyone ever actually reveal?

Mark Fischbach
What? It's so long ago now that I don't even remember. Didn't she have, like, a pasty or something covering her nipple. She had what is described as a nipple shield on which I don't know exactly what that is. Is that the official term?

James
It looks like a metal pasty, which. Makes it seem like it was something possibly planned. Yeah, I don't think you would wear something like that under an outfit that wasn't designed to potentially come off. Oh. 1991, the World Wide Web publicly debuted.

You said that already. I think I do have it on here. I had to call world web. I put on here just to try to fit it in lyrically. That's the other hard part is you take all these events and you have to fit it in these lyrics where it's like three or four events per line.

Wade Barnes
Buddy Holly, Ben, her space monkey mafia, hula hoops, Castro Edsel is a no go. You two. Syngman rhee. Can we use any of those lyrics? Can we steal anything from the original?

James
I mean, borrow anything, be inspired by. From the source material? Did any of that stuff happen again later? Like, I don't know. I don't know what they all even referenced for sure.

Wade Barnes
Like California baseball. What happened in, like, the sixties that was California baseball? I don't know. They discovered baseball in California. They were digging for gold.

Mark Fischbach
They just found baseballs. The richest vein of baseball. So another big one in the last few years was Roe v. Wade being rescinded. That was a big one, I think, because I think Roe v.

Wade Barnes
Wade's in his initial one. Did you actually put like the pandemic for 2020 or. I have Covid marked down for that. Yeah. I think we need more like pop culture y stuff between 20, 22, 24, you know, bitcoin, crypto, YouTube.

Those are kind of pop culture. All right, you want pop culture? I got pop culture. 1990 the Simpsons debuts on Fox. 91 Nirvana releases nevermind.

James
92 the first McDonald's opens in China. 1994 friends premieres on NBC. 1995 dvd's are released as a format. 1999 the Matrix is released 2003 Futurama. Cancelled 2013 Futurama cancelled 2014 Futurama cancelled 2023 Futurama's back.

Mark Fischbach
Definitely not gonna be canceled. 2000 320 13 2000 320 13 2014 and then it's back in 2023. I just think throughout the song, you know, having it cancelled, cancel again, cancel again. And then, like, it's back. 2023 Survivor premiered in the year 2000.

Survivor's a big forever. Lot of people that's still going on. There's like 9000 seasons of Survivor. 2002 Kelly Clarkson becomes the first American Idol. I was put Kelly Clarkson because honestly, we could probably put her name in there that probably be fitting enough.

James
2008, the Dark Knight is released. 2009. Michael Jackson passed away. That was a very large cultural moment. Is 2008 also the year that Heath Ledger passed away?

Mark Fischbach
Yes, I suppose. Yeah. Because he passed away before the movie came out. January of 2000. 2008.

James
A Game of Thrones premiered in 2011. You had mentioned maybe that would be a good one. Yeah, we don't have anything for 2011 or twelve. 2012, the Avengers released, which was kind of a milestone in the MCU. Yeah, you'd probably say like, Iron man was probably where that started.

Mark Fischbach
Or you could do the first Avengers. I suppose that was also like, what, 2008? 2009 ish. Was Iron Man. Iron man released 2008, May of 2008.

Wade Barnes
Okay. I was trying to find a. I was trying to find a specific year of when this first came out because I believe Heath Ledger passed away because they were of sleeping pills. Right. What.

Mark Fischbach
What always makes me sad about that is it's only recently that melatonin as, like, a dietary supplement has been prevalent. I was trying to find when it was first released as a product because it's as fascinating that sleeping pills were so incredibly dangerous. It was very easy to overdose on them and basically suppress your body's ability to breathe with the way it worked. And now melatonin is available and definitely a safer alternative. So just sad to think about.

James
All right, this is making me feel really, really old. Do you guys remember what year the ALS ice bucket challenge was? Was super viral? It does not feel like it was that long ago to me, that 2013. Okay, well, it's 2014, but yeah, a decade ago was the ice bucket challenge.

Can you fucking believe that? Like, a decade ago. Goddamn, guys, we're getting older. 2016, DiCaprio finally wins an Oscar. Everyone had been talking about that.

2017 despotism takes the world by storm. 2018 Black Panther. 2019 was when Endgame became the highest grossing film of all time. Okay, well, this is a good, funny one. Woody Woodpecker.

In 2020, Tiger King had. A moment that was hilarious. Animal Crossing also came out that year. Was like, the thing everyone did during the pandemic. Remember when there was talk shows on Animal crossing?

Because everything was fucking terrible for a while. Oh, 21. 2021 squid game. Everyone learns about korean television. No, that's not korean.

Is that korean? Yes. Yes, Korean. I don't know. I just had, like, the biggest moment of self doubt, which they're still working.

Mark Fischbach
On the next season of. They're still. It's. It's apparently been a huge, problematic filming process. Like, I'm sure it will be good and I hope it is.

James
Everyone remembers squid games as, like, a cultural phenomenon. So many people are going to watch it without, like, rewatching the first season or without really being and just be like, ah, the first season was better. The only thing I have for this year so far. I know there's been a lot of news about nuclear rearmament. Apparently the US is being accused of, like, building up nuclear arsenals and stuff again.

That sounds illegal. I don't think. I don't know. Well, it's the back and forth between, like, the US, North Korea, China, Russia. It's like, you know, that whole dynamic of no, you, no, you.

I want to do more fun stuff. I'm pretty sure there's one that's not playing right. I'm pretty sure of that. There's one. I mean, I don't disagree with you.

Wade Barnes
I don't disagree with you. You. Hey, guys, you remember in 2022 when Will Smith slapped the shit out of Chris Rock at the oscars? That'd be a fun lyric. Will Smith slaps.

Mark Fischbach
Can I, can I be honest with you guys? I've still never seen the clip. Oh, really? Really? I've never seen the clip of the actual slap.

I've seen edits and memes of him slapping literally anything but Chris Rock. It's, it's exactly what it's. The clip itself is mostly just like, oh, shit. But yeah, the memes. The memes are much funnier to watch, for sure.

Wade Barnes
There's nothing particularly notable about the slap other than the fact that, like, it's on a stage in public and just kind of like, that actually happened. Like, that wasn't planned before people accost me. I've only seen pictures of it is. What I'm trying to say is I've never seen the video itself. I've seen memes of still images.

Mark Fischbach
Never the actual slap. You know what I will say, it's, it's totally like, if you at all interested or if it ever comes up, it is worth watching if you can get a clip that includes a lot of the after. Cause I think the slap is a slap and it's like, shocking. Chris Rock's reaction and the way he, like, maintains, like, he's still hosting, right? And then he, like, keeps it professional and he's kind of just like, oh, okay.

Wade Barnes
I think his first line is like, oh, wow. The way Chris Rock deals with it is worth watching because it's pretty funny. Even he's, everyone is shocked and even he's got like, holy fuck. Anyway, this episode is brought to you by Rocket money. I feel like subscription prices keep going up.

James
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We have nothing for 2015. We have nothing for 2006. Right now. The Force awakens came out in 2015. Wait, harambe.

Mark Fischbach
When was that? 2015. 2016. Oh, harambe. But you got to put that down.

James
Yeah, harambe is quite the moment. Oh, wait. The dress, the blues, the blue or black? The black and blue or white and gold dress thing was 2015. And then the follow up, the recent court case where those.

Mark Fischbach
The people who posted that dress are the guy they. We were in court for some reason. For abuse, I believe. I can't remember, but that came up again. No.

James
Yeah. It was not good things that the person who made that was in. Was in. In trouble for. I did not remember the details either, but he had been accused of doing some bad things.

Oh, 2015. Oh, 2015 is also the year that both Jon Stewart and David Letterman retired from their talk shows to two long running shows that I feel like defined a lot of the discussion around pop culture and. And political stuff for America. The. Stewart's back now, but.

Yeah, yeah, but he only hosts like, once a week. It's not like it's his show or anything. It's different. He's changed. No, actually, he's pretty much exactly the same.

Wade Barnes
He's getting older. He did an episode about it. Guys, Zayn left one Direction in 2015. Oh, no. We don't have a whole lot of music stuff here either.

We just had one direction. But other than that. Okay, there was one thing that happened in 2006. Pluto lost its planet status in 2000. 2006.

James
Oh, snap. I was going to say. Apparently MySpace became the most visited website in the US in 2006 with users. And this is a great callback. Users like Teela tequila and Soulja Boy gaining great fame on that site.

Borat came out in 2006. That's kind of a thing. Taylor Swift. We don't have on here. Snooki.

Wade Barnes
We don't have on here. Steve Irwin died in 2006. Tragedy. That's sad. He's worth putting on here, man.

Berwin affected the world. Justin Timberlake brought sexy back in 2006. That's great. On future sex, love sounds, the album whose name is hard to read because it's all one word with a slash in it. It's worth putting a lot of different things on it.

Like, the more stuff we have to choose from, the better. We can try to cram it in lyrically later. When did Taylor Swift start getting popular? When was her first album released? Anyone know?

James
2006. Is that true? Yeah. Good, good. Remembering Wade.

I knew a secret. Swifty, maybe. What other your do we need? Who else did I just say that we didn't have on here? Taylor Swift.

Wade Barnes
I said someone else. Snooki. I said Snooki. Snooki. Yeah.

Mark Fischbach
I never watched Jersey Shore. Jersey Shore could be a thing in general. That was 2009. What's the other thing? The situation is that his name, you know, old situation.

I think you're right, but I. It's really funny. Like, if you're not right, they call me the situation. I'm different than that situation, fellow. I'm the situation for copyright purpose purposes.

James
1992. Cds outsell cassettes for the first time in history. Oh, nice. 1995. Rock and Roll hall of Fame is opened in Cleveland, Ohio, the heart of rock and roll.

97. Elton John's remake of Candle in the wind is released. Honoring princess Diana comes the best selling single of all time. There's another one for 2008. It's Blu ray beat hdvd in 2008, but it's because of porn.

Porn. I love that there's an association with that. That for us. Um. 1999.

Britney Spears debut album, baby. One more time releases. Oh, Britney Spears is a big one. A 2001, the ipod came out. Oh, that was.

Mark Fischbach
Yeah, the beginning of the resurgence. I had a buddy who had the original ipod, where it was four buttons and then the circle thing underneath it. What a time to be alive, man. And the beginning of Apple's, like, resurgence. They would not be where they are today without that.

James
No longer. But were at one point the most valuable company in the world. Now, I think both Nvidia and. No, with. With, uh.

Mark Fischbach
With Apple's latest WWDC. Apple came back. They're number two again. All right. Yippee.

James
Good job, everybody. 1997 was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That was a big one at that time. 2008 single ladies came out. Beyonce.

Ooh. Okay. Beyonce's. Yeah, she deserves a spot. 2011.

Adele's album 21 comes global success, launches her huge career. 2012. Gangnam style. First YouTube video to beat a billion views.

Mark Fischbach
What? You. All right? 2010. All I have right now is oil spill.

James
2017 was the fire festival, guys. How do we forget that? Oh, right, man. How. Man, you're.

Mark Fischbach
Dude, you're crushing me on this. How many points do I have, Daddy? Oh, man. I've been keeping track diligently and definitely not just typing here. So.

Wade Barnes
Lots. You've got just lots of points. 2019 was when Lil Nas X's old Town Road broke the record for longest running number one single on the hot 100. Old Town Road was 29, 2019. Yeah.

James
2020 was when Billie Eilish. Billy Irish. Billie Eilish became the second artist ever in history to sweep the big four awards at the Grammys, which, I don't know, 100% what that means, but I assume that's, like, I was typing old town roads. I missed the year. You just said 2020.

She swept the big four awards at the Grammys. It's only the second artist ever in history to do so. Who was the first and what year was that? Fucking. What do you want from me?

Use your own Google bar. Come on. What are we doing here? This is a team game. Gotta give you.

Wade Barnes
I gotta give you harder tasks so mark can catch up. No, no, I'm winning. Oh. All right, here we go, Wade, I've got you. This is gonna be worth triple.

Mark Fischbach
Here's some good. In 2001, Shakira won her first Grammy. Ooh. I mean, that's for me. I don't know if that's for the world, but, I mean, I'll take it.

Wade Barnes
Okay, Mark, I got Shakira 2001. What else did you have? That was it. Oh. It'S just worth a lot.

James
I mean, does for 2023, does Taylor Swift's era tour count is, like, a cultural thing? That was. It broke Ticketmaster. It's gonna lead to, like, anti monopoly things against. I've got one, I've got one.

Mark Fischbach
I've got 120. 15. OpenAI was founded in 2015. You know OpenAI, the hilariously closed AI company? Dude, I gotta put Tom Brady on here.

Wade Barnes
Tom Brady has to make it. Patrick Mahomes has to make it. Right? Why? Why do they have to.

James
Because Tyler will hate that. Tom Brady is, like, the has won more Super Bowls than most franchises will ever win. So, like, it's pretty nuts. Okay, all right, this guy, when we're. Mean invented, what year can we say that that happened?

Because they've been around for a long time. And also, I. That this is Unisana's clip, but it's not. It's just Ethan showing. Do you remember the meme thing that Ethan showed you in unison, where it was like, uh, what memes used to be like, okay, I'll take this cute picture of a.

Of a gecko, and I'll put some colored background behind it. And then it's like, what memes are now? You take a dark hallway, you put some shadow creatures in it, and then you put some text that says something like, me and the boys at 03:00 a.m. looking for beans. Looking for beans.

Mark Fischbach
Yeah, but that wasn't us. We didn't do that. I got a bunch of show premiere years that's not that exciting. 98 Sex and the City premiered. 99, the Sopranos premiered.

Wade Barnes
LeBron was drafted in 2003. Lord of the Rings return of the king came out in ₩2003.11 oscars, including best picture. 93. The what? No way.

Mark Fischbach
Wait, hold on. The Backstreet boys were formed in 93? That's. Wait, whoa. NSYnc was formed in 95.

James
No, that would be more in the range. I would have guessed. Why do you. Is that. Do you think that's earlier than you expected or later?

Mark Fischbach
I thought they were early. Two thousands. I could have sworn the backstreet boys. One of their big albums was millennium. It came out because of the millennium?

Wade Barnes
No, no, it came out because they were founded in the millennium. Oh, okay. Okay. Got it. Uh huh.

Mark Fischbach
Yes. Get with it. 2014. Frozen and let it go. Takes the world by storm and parents everywhere gouged their eyes out.

James
Yeah. Aren't you glad you didn't have a kid, then? I. We still watch frozen anyway. It doesn't fucking matter.

This dude loves frozen. He likes the Olaf the snowman and the reindeer. What's his face? Christoph's reindeer. What the hell is his name?

Sven the reindeer. Sven the reindeer. 2017 is when the best picture at the oscars, they. They mistakenly announced it would la la land and when it was actually moonlight. Very funny.

Mark Fischbach
Very funny. Which is, like, if it was. What I don't understand is they opened the card and looked at it. It's not like they would have both names on there. I'm just.

James
Yeah, I'm not sure what the format was. I'm sure it was one of those things where the person was just like, don't say. Don't say it. Don't say la la land. Don't say it.

Don't say la la land. He was doing his warm up in his.

Oh, I have another, more serious one for 92. Um, the. The video of Rodney King getting beat by LAPD officers was released in 1992. It sparked the LA riots, and that's. Probably an important one to put here.

Wade Barnes
Yeah, that's worth putting on there. Cause that was a big event. Some of the nineties are, like, the early nineties are represented up here, too. So we've got early nineties. So starting from 95, 96, we've got cicadas and the Port Arthur massacre.

So 96 is kind of weak right now. 97, we've got Titanic, Princess Diana, and Buffy. 98, we've only got Google. 99, we've got Star Wars Episode one, Columbine, and the fastest mile recorded. And Futurama.

Mark Fischbach
This is interesting. 196, 96. What do you got for 96? Port Arthur massacre and cicadas. Here you go.

Tamagotchi. Tamagotchi was founded in 96. Oh, and then 96 was also when Pokemon was founded. Weird. Ooh, Pokemon.

Wade Barnes
Pokemon's a big one. Independence Day released in 1996. George RR Martin published the first book of the game, and Thrones series for the first book of the song and Ice and Fire, actual books. Popular slang included words such as booyah, psych, and fly. The Motorola star tac, the world's first flip phone.

James
96. 96 Olympics in Atlanta featured the world's first gold medal for winning women's soccer. I can incorporate some of the slang in the 1986. That'd be fun. 97, I've got Titanic, Princess Diana, Buffy.

Wade Barnes
1990. Eight's kind of weak. Like I said, only Google. 2000, all we have is Gore v. Bush.

We have a lot for 2001, but 20, 19, 98 are kind of weak. I'm sure that there's some, like, big stuff that we're just not thinking of that people are just screaming at there. If you're screaming, let us know. 93, Beanie babies. I still have.

I still have some. I've got them all, like in a. I wish I still had some. I could go grab them right now. 98.

Mark Fischbach
Wait, Furby. Oh, Furby. Furby. 98 and 2098. We got a couple more.

Wade Barnes
2000 still weak. I'm working on 2000 right now. 2003, I've got LeBron and Futurama canceled. That's all I got for zero three. 2005, we have Katrina and YouTube.

2007, I've only got iPhone release. And in the year 2000, demand for us sperm was on the rise. What? 2000.

Mark Fischbach
What website are you looking at? Huh? Just doing some googles. You know, I don't know if Billy. Joel would've sang about sperm, but maybe we should.

James
The Internet, underground music archive and alternative music website gave ten entrants $5,000 each. Who named their babies I u m a I u ma. And then gave them $5,000 for that. Speaking of music, 99. Napster was founded.

Hey, that's a real one. I find some weird shit. Ooh. American psycho came out in 2000. I don't know if that's really.

Mark Fischbach
World of Warcraft came out in 2004. Y two k, guys. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, the millennium. Right, the millennium.

James
We gotta have y two k. What year was that? 2000 needs sperm. Demand on the rise. Technology's gonna kill us.

More sperm. Gorvey Bush needs sperm. Not enough sperm. Deviantart launched in the year 2000.

Tiger woods became the youngest player in history to win a grand slam.

The final Peanuts comic strip ever was published in 2000, marking the end of an era for Charles Schultz. The Millennium Bridge opened in London, but closed two days later because it had a resonant frequency that made it fucking terrifying looking. And it wobbled back and forth like it was going to explode. That's fun. Mad cow disease was real big in 2000.

Wade Barnes
Whoa. It's still an issue, but it was. Very popular in 2000. You guys hear that bird flu is potentially coming back? Did it.

James
Did it ever leave? No, but I mean, it's, like, on the rise again or something. Apparently it's got a much higher mortality rate this time around. Fucking birds. Listen, you can't just throw out extremely concerning things like that without expanding upon it.

Mark Fischbach
You're going to give people. This is what gives people anxiety. Wade. In the year 2000, phone ringtones had generated $2 billion in revenue. You remember when you had to buy ringtones for your phone?

Wade Barnes
Can't you still do that? I've never bought a ringtone. I mean, you don't have to. You could just have a ringtone tone on your phone. I actually never did, but I used to, like, go find midis online and then just plug my Jank phone into my Jank computer and get Jank mini ringtones.

There was one on my old. Singular. Singular. The phone company. Oh, yeah, singular wireless, baby.

Yeah. I remember I had my, like, victory doo doo doo doo doo. Like, the default ringtone that was always. My people call me would say victory. And I was like, yeah, we always.

James
Had t mobile growing up, so I grew up with that sound. The.

Wade Barnes
2002 was a little bit light. 2007, we only have iPhone. Hey, you know what else happened in 2007? Bob Myskins met Mark Fischbach as college roommates. That's a big one.

James
The Internet was never the same. I'll definitely put it on here. And also, Wade was alive, probably. I mean, I graduated high school. What year did we start?

Wade Barnes
Distractible. Should that make it distractible? Distractible had to have been, like, 2021 or 2022. Here's a big one. Everyone will remember this.

James
The website I can has cheeseburger launched in January of 2007. Oh, I can has cheeseburger. Who doesn't remember where they were when that happened? Google Maps and Google Street View were launched in 2007. Those are pretty important now.

Mark Fischbach
Those are pretty big. Those are big. Aw, this is a big one. The finale of the price is right, hosted by Bob Barker, aired in 2007. Bob Barker officially retired from the show, replaced by Drew Carey, who's still doing it.

James
And recently I saw this on TikTok. I think recently someone literally guessed $1 off of the showcase showdown and won a double showcase, and they won, like, $84,000 worth of stuff. That's cool. Very hype, very exciting. I feel like if.

Wade Barnes
I just think there's got to be some events that we'll think of in our lives. Like, man, I can't believe we didn't think of that. Like, going through this year by year, you get very, like, targeted, but, like, there's got to be some other big stuff that we're just like, dude, how the Fuck. Everyone is on the sub right now commenting all the very important and obvious things that we've missed, being very upset about it. Yeah, maybe, maybe I call it here and we give the subreddit some time to contribute.

If you guys out there want to, you know, make a thread or a post, like, maybe just one, and then reply to it. The mods do episode posts, so go. Go to that one. Yeah, yeah, do that and give us some ideas. But also, if you think of fun little lyrics, like, if you.

You can think of, you know, actual ways to rewrite or write some of these lines, feel free. Let's make this a group effort. That'd be cool. Can you imagine if we actually wrote this, like, as a community? Can you guys make the show for us?

James
This is a pain in the ass. Yeah. Wait, aren't you gonna sing? Well, I don't know if I'm the one to sing this, but what if we actually made a song, like, collectively? Like, that'd be kind of cool.

Everything's good when you make it by committee. Well, maybe not everything, but, like, I don't know, has it been done before? Has there been, like, a community song made like that? Like, probably in the world, but I. Not that I know.

I mean, this will be the distractable. First, so give us some thoughts. If you. If we got anything wrong, like, you know, correct us, let us know if we got a year wrong or if I. I mean, I could have gotten stuff wrong, too.

Wade Barnes
You can read the stuff I've got here, probably. You can see that. Give us your input. We'll maybe revisit this in a later episode whenever I'm hosting again. But let me wrap this one up because we've been going for a while and we'll probably do something different next time.

But this was fun for me. I enjoy this kind of stuff. I enjoy this kind of brainstorming. I wish we got into the lyric writing so you guys could just see how fucking annoying the lyric writing is compared to, like, thinking of these things or come up with these things is one thing. Fitting them into a song that has, like, a somewhat rhyming pattern and organization.

James
Can you share this? If we're going to actually do this again, can you share this document with. With us in a way so that I can. Yeah, I have no idea how to do that. So once I end this episode, talk me through that and I'll do that.

It's like, say it's an if you know how to send an email, right? Just like, save. I'll I'll I'll hold your hand through it if you really need that. Uh, so how many points did I win by? I just want to know.

I I'm not saying that I outshine Mark so aggressively that you can tell it's not even close. I don't know if we knew that. Feeling pretty confident right now. Let me go through the points here during our small talk portion. Mark, I've got you on here.

Wade Barnes
You've got no meditate mad, coffee face. PC Banshee. Yeah, I don't know what it actually says, but I read PC Banshee. Then you've got no, like, really mad. Let me go to Bob for the small talk portion.

Bob, I've got didn't say f you tree poachers. Oh, yeah, good. Oh, good laugh and Tim. Good laugh and times. Tim.

Tim is sorry. Calm is Bailey soda. That's what I told you to tell me what it was. It was baby something is baby soda. That still doesn't make any sense.

So side is baby side. Anyway, small talk. Bob, you had nine points. Mark, you had eight points. Bad start for Mark.

And then I wrote down Bob, so dot many dot points. Mark, slightly less points. So by telling this at the end, Mark, you did get bonus points for Shakira. Oh, that could come into him head into play here. But based on, man, so many points, I think Bob kind of still took this one.

So, Bob, you are the winner. I will say, mark, we're supposed to, we're supposed to document exactly what the points are for. I throw away my own win. But, Mark, I do feel like if you think about what the constitution says, and I know you know it, we. Do not have to mark every single point down to a t.

You guys have not. Yes, that was the whole point. You're supposed to have a justification for every point. You can't just write points and then be like, that's worth 19 points. I can.

I'm the host. Than I just did. And I'm just throwing that out there. Mark, I'm just throwing that out there. So many points has more things than Mark as the justification.

Mark Fischbach
I would throw a flag, but I am out of flags. If you didn't say that, he wouldn't. Remember I throw a flag. Do you just really not want to host. Like, if you don't want to win, you can give him your win.

Wade Barnes
I will allow you to give away your win if you don't want to host. Wade, I'm just saying. I'm just saying I give you a win, and you're like, wade, what if Mark challenges you? Cause you fucking suck. It's like, take the fucking win, you goddamn peasant.

James
Thing number one, doesn't feel very good when you're the host and someone does this to you. Does it? Thing number two, you're the one who won't stop talking about how unfair things are, and then you're going to go ahead and just perpetrate this obvious unfair act against Mark. I'm just trying to maintain decorum in this podcast and keep it cool. I think we got to the end, and you very clearly know you had more things you said than Mark.

Wade Barnes
And you're like, how much did I win by? And, you know, I was typing up this fucking document the whole time, so it's hard to mark every point when I also have to type it every single point. So I think we can understand as a goddamn community that I did my best here. I'm not even arguing with you that I deserve to win. I just felt like making a big stink about it because I feel like the last time I hosted, I was in the exact same position.

We were getting along so well. Were we? Was it good? Was it good for you, Wade? I thought we were.

I thought this was going well. Well, thanks for letting me win. I guess I didn't let you. You kind of just won. Yeah, that felt fair.

James
That feels real fair. I think it should. You know, honestly, I think he doesn't want to host next one. He's trying to get the loss. I have an idea.

The best idea, and you'll see it if I host very unfairly. Wait, I think you should just make him the host, because it really just want to be the host. You guys really don't remember this? No, I do. We do the whole stuff.

Wade Barnes
We had that whole skit together in person where I thought we'd, like, smooth things over. Other things were good. They're fine. I'm. This is.

James
I'm just doing the bit from the other side now and then. You're not. Not. Okay, whatever. Fuck you.

Wade Barnes
Boo. Clearly kicked Mark's ass, so. All right. But I'm just saying, if you want to give Mark the win, you can. Nah, I'll take it.

All right. I don't know. Does your protest your winner speech, or do you have, like, another one you want to give? Oh, now I have to give a speech. No, you can defer, Mark.

James
Give my winner speech. Am I allowed to do that? If I say no, it'll be against me in the constitution. If I say yes, it'll be against me in the constitution. I'm just gonna say, you do whatever you'd like.

Wade Barnes
Bob. Bob. Bob. Give you the floor. Say whatever words you'd like.

You can honor his request or not. I'm just here, man. I, Robert whatever my middle name is. My skins. Close enough.

Mark Fischbach
Do here solemnly swear that I will uphold the constitution of distractible as host and will do it fairly and justly. I take this authority that is granted unto me with great somberness and heavy chutzpah and lots and lots of. Oh, I am so enamored with myself. And I love winning. I have a baby.

Wade Barnes
That's good. Good work, Mark. Do you have a loser speech? I, Mark Short Fishbok, will do solemnly swear that I will do all that stuff that Bob said that I couldn't be bothered to remember, and I made a movie. Okay.

I don't know if Mark deferred his speech to you, but I guess he didn't stop you, so that's fine. Can I just say, wade, being on this side of it, I kind of get why you do this. It's fun. This position is very fun. I just.

Mark Fischbach
Why do you think I do it on other people's live streams? People. People have clued into it. Started to, anyway. But if I go on other people's livestreams or if I'm out of some event that I want to hosting, I play the asshole.

Because it's a fun role to play. And also it keeps conversation going. It is. It is kind of fun. I get it.

James
I don't. I don't like it still, when I'm in the position that you're in right now and you don't look like you like it right now. I was just. It just kind of came out of left field. It was kind of like, dudes, we did this.

Wade Barnes
We gave him some ideas, and I looked around, and you were just like, whoa. Bam. And it was like, oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. No, I know that feeling.

Cause, like, whenever I did it, there was a protest. What was Mark hosting? And I protested in the middle of the episode, and then it came back. This was just kind of like the. Yeah, Bob had more ideas.

Bob won. You were like, what did I win? Down the boy. So it's kind of like, just the shock, I think. I'm in shock.

James
No, that's what I'm saying. I get it, it's fun. I might keep doing that forever. I would give you points for that, but like, it's already over and you already won. Did I, though?

Did I really? Sorry, it's too fun. Congrats. If you guys haven't already, go check us out. Bob at my screen mark at Markiplier, I'm minion seven seven or lord Minion 777.

Wade Barnes
We have merch@distractablestore.com. You alright? I just say like that because I wanted to say, store dot distractible podcast, whatever the hell it used to be. My brain always defaults to the old URL, so I've got to like stop myself. Directablestore.com, i don't know what's there.

Maybe there's a boat or a hot tub, maybe a shirt, maybe nothing. We should definitely sell a hot tub. That'd be fun. This one. Go into the hot tub business.

James
You won't open a movie theater with us, but you want to go to the hot tub business. Now there, hey, there's a new hot tub place that just went out of business somewhere probably that we could find, or we could just make our own. I don't know why someone else has to die for us to be birthed, but that seems to be the way that we go. Like, we could literally just open a theater. I don't know why we were like, man, we really need a theater to die so we can swoop in.

Mark Fischbach
No, no, no, that's not, that wasn't the legally binding conclusion that we made. I don't require them to die for us to do that. But if it happens, it happens. I don't remember anything we said about the theater at this point, it's gone from my memory, just like the constitution, just like everything else that we've decided is important and worth keeping track of because one, I just don't care. And to, I don't know, not important for me to remember, but I'll do my best to uphold it anyway.

Wade Barnes
Probably, um, that's it. Podcast out.

We Might Have Started The Fire

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Episode Summary

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Episode Chapters

1: Computer Woes

2: The Tub Saga

3: Meditation and Morning Chaos

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