Two Truths And A Lie

Bob Muyskens
This episode is brought to you by Jersey Mike's subs. A great sub starts with the best ingredients, and that's why Jersey Mike's uses only the highest quality of meat, sliced right in front of you, piled high with the freshest toppings. The bread is freshly baked daily. It's a Jersey Mike's thing. I never order the same thing twice.

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Mark Fischbach
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to distractable. This episode, budding Bob, hallowed be his name on Reddit, displays his expertise in scoring and dangerous deliveries. Methodical Mark dislikes Michael D's benjamins, warns of deadly tomatoes and primal screams. Worshipful Wade knows his cum holes and pythons, goes on a rampage and gets thrice butt spelunked. From Barney to bendy Dick cucumber hatch.

Yes, it's time for two truths and a lie. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hi. Hello. Welcome back to another episode of your parents favorite podcast, Distractable.

Bob Muyskens
Probably a surprising fact for you to learn, but it's also 100% true. You can go ask them right now. Give them a call, shoot a text. I don't know. I don't know how your parents communicate.

However you normally do, they'll confirm it's their favorite podcast. I'm your host. My name is Bob. I will be the judge, and my two other co hosts will be the competitors this week because I won the last one, and that's how this game works. Whoever wins this one will host the next one, so on and so forth in perpetuity.

It never ends. It's like that song from Barney. Where's the song. Where's that song from? This is a song that never ends.

It just goes on and on. My friends keep singing more. I don't know it yet. It's familiar, though. I can't remember now.

Are there more words to it? This is a song that never ends. No. Um, anyway. Hey, what's up, fellas?

How's it going? Hey, what's up, man? Not much. I am curious now how many kids were coalesced to our. Coalesced to our podcast?

Wade Barnes
Conceived. That's the word. Why are you curious about that? Where did that come from? I was coalesced in the back of a Chevy nova.

Some couple broke up. It's like that song that. It's like that song that the girl broke up their boyfriend to. It's like what? You ever heard that song?

I probably did it really wrong. No, do it again. Do it again. I'll definitely recognize it.

Bob Muyskens
Oh, yeah. No, you know the one mark? Yeah. It's from Barney. The one that starts with a clip of a rooster being murdered.

It's actually the song that got cancelled because all the coalescing I was coalesced. Into existence by Goku raising his hands and asking everyone to donate a piece of their energy. Did we start over? Yeah. No, you're not the host.

You don't get to call that. We're going. We're in this. I formally. Do we have a thing where we can formally request to start over?

No, it's not in the constitution, so we don't have that. Can I filibust an amendment? I know I got something you can fill. And this is why it's your parents favorite podcast. To coalesce to.

Mark Fischbach
From context clues of what I was saying with Goku and spirit bomb. You can't glean. Can thy not glean? Can thou not glean? Hey, it's got the word come and hole in it.

Wade Barnes
So honestly, I wasn't as far off as I could have been. I'm sorry. What word has come whole in it? Coalesce. The definition.

Come together to form one mass or whole different kind of hole. But I was spelling coalesce very differently in my head if it was gonna work that way. Man, I wonder, how does that spelling be? Coalescence. C u m h.

Bob Muyskens
Damn it. That's a hard word for a third grader. Can I formally request the two over? You can informally request one, I suppose. Denied.

Request denied. Pre denied. Okay. I feel like an absolute psychopath to start this episode. I don't want that to be my legacy.

Is that different than usual or. Yeah, I feel like you're on your game. Anyway, back to your. Back to you in the studio. Back to you, Bob.

Mark Fischbach
Can I do the sports segment? Yeah. Mark, you do sports way. Do you do weather and traffic? Well, actually there was big sports news, but you guys don't care about that.

Bob Muyskens
Here on this podcast I might care what big sports news was there. It was actually funny because I brought it up to Tyler and he didn't know, but there was a whole thing where there was finally a court settlement that the NCAA has to play, has to pay students in division one for their services, basically, and they have to back pay all the way from 2016. And it was, the total settlement was about $2.7 billion with promises of how they would revenue share down the road in the future. It was huge news, actually. Enormous.

Wade Barnes
This is hearsay, rumor, whatever you want to call it at this point. But there's a new college football game finally after ten years. It's been ten years since the last one came out. NCAA 25 is coming out and the last one was NCA 14, but it's not coming to PC. And from the little bit of digging I could find, it seems like the reason it's coming to console only is because they're worried about the modding community putting in actual players and player likenesses, which is weird to me because if you release a game and it doesn't have that and you're not selling those, and then someone on the outside goes and mods your game and puts something like that in, how does that come back to you to make you liable for it being done?

If it's not you doing it, you're not selling it. I do, I do. I'm kind of with you on that because it is not really like you're allowed to make things customizable and it's really out of the company's hands. Not that EA needs me to defend them. I assume it's them.

Bob Muyskens
The modders will do what modders are going to do. Like you could mod console games as well. It's just not as easy. You had to like get like a memory card way back in the day or like a hard drive or something, and it's like you go download someone's file and upload it. They must have been threatened.

Someone, whoever the person, the correct body was like, hey, you better not if you make it easy enough to put real people in there. Oh, we'll get you some. Judge went one, two, two and a half. Be careful. What's the way they did it in the old college, if I'm remembering right, the way they did the old college games, they didn't put people's names.

Wade Barnes
They had, like, the correct number, the right build. If you look at their stats, it's like, huh, this guy is, like, tall, wears this number, and is a good runner as well as thrower. It's definitely not Cam Newton, but man, oh, man, does he sure look, act and behave like Cam Newton. This would never happen. But I wish that some, I wish that the company making the game had the gall to just put, put, like, sham names in that were just so painfully close.

Bob Muyskens
Like, make. Make that player. And it's like, oh, no, that's not Cam Newton. That's ma'am Tootin, star quarterback for Mauburn. It's totally different.

It's unrelated. Toe scurro of the LSU Ligers. Michael Douglas. That's just the name. That's the guy.

Michael Phelps. He's played in some other sports. Can I talk about Michael Douglas for a second? I actually have something to say about Michael Douglas. You know of a Michael Douglas story.

Mark Fischbach
So there I was, visiting Amy's family, and on the tv, what should I happen to see? But this tv show that goes by the name of Franklin the Turtle. Benjamin Franklin. Oh, the little turtle. Cartoon network, Nickelodeon.

I wish I had opened it up, guessing, because that would have been hilarious. It's Franklin. Oh, no, no. Close, though. Very close.

No. So it was about Benjamin Franklin. And if you guys didn't know, Michael Douglas plays Benjamin Franklin. I think he's terrible. Benjamin Franklin.

I think he's truly abysmal. Benjamin Franklin. And I was looking at this show, and I was watching it, and everyone else in the room was like, it's a good show. And I'm like, it could be. But they're Franklin in the movie.

In the show, Franklin just seemed like a terrible Franklin. Who am I to say? But it was just like, I don't know what I'm trying to get at here. I'm not trying to, like, make any accusations about anyone or their ability to act in general, but I feel like they could have cast a better Franklin. I'm sure this is not it, but now I'm just imagining it's like a.

Bob Muyskens
It's like a period piece, right? It's like early American. And he's just like, hey, I'm Ben Franklin, pretty much. And you remember you seen the kite thing with the key on it? That's me.

Got the glasses. You know, the glass glasses. It's kind of my look long hair. Printing press. Ah, yeah, that's later.

You. You'll see Michael Douglas has a very, like, distinct voice. But I looked at the images of him, and he looks like if someone's like, my grandpa kind of looks like Benjamin Franklin, it's like they have the same hairdo. And that's it. That is.

Mark Fischbach
And that's how he is in the show, because he sounds exactly like Michael Douglas sounds as you would imagine him now. And I'm like, I know early America's. You know, they didn't sound like us. Now, I don't know exactly how they sound, but there's. There's been some links.

Wade Barnes
Oh, God. Good lord. I'm sad now. I suppressed. I yield my time.

Bob Muyskens
Would you like to continue delivering the Gettysburg address, sir? Only if it's in that voice, though. A historically accurate. Where the pebble of this nature. Oh, my God, I hate it.

Wade Barnes
I've come to get a. I don't. Know why I'm ooing famously when he fell off stage for a moment. Why are you the guy who's trying to marry the king to the princess and princess bride? Love.

Bob Muyskens
True love. How did they. All right, let's hear your impression, Mark. How'd they talk back then? Back then, I did make a statement that I didn't know how they talked back then.

Mark Fischbach
Well, try four scores and seven years ago. Why then s did the scores. They look at the local paper like, ah, four scores, man. Four scores. They would have won.

Oh, you're right. It is like that. It's. Yeah, it's just for score. Wait, do they.

Oh, the plural of score is score. Well, that. Of that score, because you can look up sports scores. You can have scores of men or scores of something, but it's four score. Maybe Abraham Lincoln's grammar wasn't that good.

Yeah, maybe we just assumed that he was right and he was wrong. Joyce, score and seven year ago, our father a. No one is making you do this. You keep acting like we're. Like, come on, Wade, do the thing.

Bob Muyskens
You're just choosing to do that. I'm not saying you're not earning points. I had cranberry juice to start my day, and I think it was spiked. With what? Extra cranberry.

Wade Barnes
Well, to get back to your Franklin point, he doesn't look like Benjamin Franklin. To me, nor does he sound like. It, but he just looks like Michael Douglas dressed funny. Yeah, no, he looks like Michael Douglas in a Halloween costume. There's such a thing as, like, good casting and there's improper casting.

Mark Fischbach
I don't feel like it's right. Is that our small talk? I don't know. Is that your small talk, Mark? I it can be for.

If you're in a rush to get to your topic. No, I'm in no rush. I have a topic, but it is not. Not important. I yield.

Bob Muyskens
Okay, never mind. Mark is done. You got anything else, Wade? Uh, yeah. So I want to address my good people, the subreddit.

Wade Barnes
I think you guys have been coming after my co host a little too. Too strongly here for an episode that we did a little bit ago about some whamming. Go on. Go on. I think that you guys having my back is amazing, but our bickering and our, like, little infighting and whatnot, it's very contained.

Like, we have our moments where we, like, scream and yell and rage and go at each other, but it's kind of, like part of just the way we interact. And sure, sometimes one of us might overstep, but I feel like whenever we overstep, we kind of, like, will handle it ourselves. I don't even know that we've had that in a long time. Like, I didn't feel like that particular episode justified the kind of backlash it's kind of resulted in. I don't even know if backlash is the right word.

Bob Muyskens
And I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I'm 100% sure Mark has no idea what we're talking about. I have every idea of what you're talking about. Have you been watching? Have you seen. Yes.

Mark Fischbach
And wait. That was the worst apology I've ever heard in my life. I haven't even finished. That was the worst, terrible. Whatever we may have done, I have no.

I am blameless. I am blameless. People were on my side. You were the wrong. You were a villain.

You deserved every bit of vitriol that you got. And I hope that more gets heaped up upon you. I'd actually seen it at me. It was all at Bob that I sold. You shouldn't see any.

What subreddit do you go to? You were being roasted alive. You were being raked over the coals. Their people. Listen, my people.

Wade Barnes
You're doing great. They're people that are coming at me. Whose people? You have no people left. There was a poll that replaced you as the supreme leader of the subreddit, and now Bob is the leader.

Bob Muyskens
Wait, there was a poll? There was a pole. Bob and I must have checked it at a very different time. How do you guys not see this? You're over.

Mark Fischbach
You've been canceled. I'm free. Why am I even here? Leave. You're cancelled.

Be run out of town. I didn't see the poll. Bob rains. I wasn't even on the poll, which I feel like is a little bit of a slight to me, but Bob rains supreme. I didn't.

Bob Muyskens
I didn't see that. Well, yeah, Bob and I must have checked, because we were talking, and it was very anti bob at that moment. So if it's anti me now, it. Was anti you from the get go. What do you mean?

Wade Barnes
That's not true. The subway has been on my side a lot over the years. It's not anymore. How can you possibly try to spin this this way? If you guys want to come back, we have shot.

Well, I didn't know, man. I apparently haven't checked in a minute. I don't know what kind of. What kind of blinders you put on when you go to the subreddit. I have a.

You know, you're coming at me, literally. Bob and I had the same experience just a couple days ago whenever we were like, yeah, dude, they're coming at you a little harshly. Coming after you. You. Wait, they were coming after you, Bob?

Am I crazy? No, I'm with you. I did not see. There was definitely some stuff targeted at you. And both of us is more what I was seeing, but I I did not see the poll.

Bob Muyskens
I have to say. I actually muted the subreddit and just was gonna not look for a while because it was. I was too enraptured in it, and it was too much. They have kind of turned on you. They were.

Mark Fischbach
Look, I saw this from the very beginning when the episode came out, and I was. I was salivating because justice was finally delivered. He is reaping what he sowed. And you. You can't even have the reading comprehension to know it.

Wade Barnes
All I know is Bob and I were texting. I went and looked, and I was like, man, there's some really mean things here. All right, well, never mind. I guess Mark and Bob are fine with you all coming at me, so come at me. It's cool.

Bob Muyskens
Sounds good. Sounds good. Clearly, I pay a lot of attention to the mean things you say to me, and it's affecting me a lot, so keep it up. Good work. And that's that.

Wade Barnes
My bad. Really thought I was gonna be doing a service to our podcast there. But wait, wait. Just doesn't even acknowledge things that are against him. I didn't see it.

Bob Muyskens
I'm kind of with you, Wade, but I'll jump on Mark's side. I don't. Yeah, yeah. Jump on my side. I have a dog in this fight.

The dog is me. Yeah. Cause, Bob, you're new, the new champion of the subreddit. How do I take advantage of this? How do I leverage this?

Wade, what do you do with the subreddit when they were on your side before? Everything changed? I feel like I. Me, Bob's Bob, Mark's Mark. We are who we are.

Wade Barnes
Our interactions are what they are. Sometimes they're hilarious. Sometimes they're rage inducing. Sometimes we rage at each other. It is what it is.

We accepted that when we started that. You should have accepted that when you started watching. You signed the contract. Are you apologizing on my behalf? I did.

Mark Fischbach
I did nothing wrong. I wasn't even part of the conversation. As a sports guy, you'll appreciate this as. As the. Okay.

Wade Barnes
Conor McGregor once said, good. Great. I apologize for absolutely fucking nothing. We are who we are. You like it.

That's why you're fucking here. So sit down, put your booze back in your fucking assholes, and shut the fuck up and watch our goddamn EP episode. Is that an exact quote from Conor McGregor? I'm pretty sure I paraphrase a little. I can't believe you went to the subreddit and didn't see a single thing that anybody said.

Mark Fischbach
How? How? You can tell. You can talk to me, tell me in a sentence, and I'll be like, so, Mark, what do you think? He'd be like?

Wade Barnes
Wait, I just told you. You think it's surprising I could go to a subreddit and just not see a bunch of comments mad at me? It's like your brain has a filter that's just like. It only looks for weight and good combined. But it's like, wade, bad ignore.

Mark Fischbach
Wait, bad ignore? What do gods do, Mark? They hear praise. They ignore criticism. That's why the three of us are here on mount distractible.

Is that your small talk, getting new toilets? Okay, that's my small talk points to Mark, and, yeah, I have some stuff written down. Don't worry about it. I had a question. When we do the next boat episode, that ends the season technically, right?

Bob Muyskens
Yeah, sure. Yes. What, did the winner get some kind of trophy? Well, we weren't doing the trophy last season, and I. That's confused.

I don't want to put anything bad on the universe, Mark, but I'm fairly certain Wade has a stranglehold on the score for this season right now, which is funny. Somehow, the man who's known for complaining about losing all the time and being treated very unfairly is absolutely wiping the floor with both of us, and especially in. Particularly me. Yeah, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I think I want to addendum there.

Wade Barnes
I don't complain about losing all the time. I complain about unfair moments, even when. You'Re winning and clearly dominating, and it's not even really that close. Speaker zero. When LeBron thinks he gets fouled up 30, does he not go like, hey, ref, what the hell?

Bob Muyskens
Everybody loves that. When he does that, nobody has a thing to say about. When LeBron starts whining to the refs. You know, people might look and boo, but, like, ultimately, who's the one going home with millions of dollars, trophy of family, and, like, champion written on his. What do you write?

Wade Barnes
Champion on his first place badge across his cheeks? His ribbon. Will they give him a ribbon? Do you think he signs his checks like that? Just the champion.

Mark Fischbach
So, how closely are you analogizing yourself to this person? Pretty much anyone on top? You are the LeBron James of this podcast. I. You know what?

Bob Muyskens
I had. I was going to say something, but I don't think I need to know. Wade spoke. I will be taking at least a month off of the subreddit. I hope you all have fun there.

Wade Barnes
But, uh, taking a short vacation for no particular reason. He has spake. It's done. Been spec. Do you guys want to get anything off your chest at the subreddit?

Like, now's the time. I'll hold them, you punch.

Bob Muyskens
Uh, I think this episode. I'm just gonna give you the floor, Wade. This one, Wade. Keep talking and talking. I think this is great stuff.

Wade Barnes
Who'd I get replaced with? Did they replace me with someone in particular? Bob. Bob? You got replaced with Bob?

Bob Muyskens
Editors replace Wade's camera with my camera and stick up my mouth. Hey, y'all want to keep me on the payroll, you can, like double. Bob. That's fine. No, you don't get paid if you don't make the show.

That's not how this works. Oh, then I want to stay. But, Wade here. Contrarily, if you take two spots, you get paid double. So don't look at me when you think about that.

Mark Fischbach
Don't look at me when you think about that. Okay, so next time, I'm only gonna be available on a day you two aren't. I'll just record an episode where I'm. All three of us.

Bob Muyskens
Just start sending secret recordings to the editors. Like, hey, put. Put this out. Let's do a couple bonus episodes. Camera one on me.

Wade Barnes
Camera two on me. Camera three on me. That would be a hell of a way to take over. The show is like, you fill in every other day of the week with just you in it. That would be.

Mark Fischbach
I would love to see that, Wade. You know what? I challenge you, but those wins shouldn't count. They don't count, right. No, it's not in the constitution.

Bob Muyskens
They can't count. It's not in the constitution. I mean, the host determines the rules. But the host can't just do whatever they want. That's the whole point.

Wade Barnes
Well, that's what we said, but, like, we were the host then, we're not the host now. I think none of us were. The host was kind of the thing with the council of Distracted. Exactly. So the constitution's kind of fake?

Bob Muyskens
No, it was. It was duly incorporated into the show. And thusly, law of the land. Yeah, but I don't like remembering things, so I disagree with it. It's written down.

Mark Fischbach
We're gonna have a pocket constitution book. We're gonna have it. We really need that. Like, I wish I had one right now. I would be studying it.

Bob Muyskens
This episode is brought to you by Rocket money. I feel like subscription prices keep going up. I've had several subscriptions for a long time, and I just assumed you sign up and you pay the fee and you keep it, and that's your subscription. But they can change those. If that's something that you don't think has happened to you, you might want to check.

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Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com distractible. That's Rocketmo. Dash N. Dash.com. dash c t I b l E this episode is brought to you by Jersey Mike subs.

A great sub starts with the best ingredients, and that's why Jersey Mike's uses only the highest quality of meat, sliced right in front of you, piled high with the freshest toppings. The bread is freshly baked daily. It's a Jersey Mike's thing. I never order the same thing twice. Maybe I'm weird.

My wife certainly thinks I'm weird. Mandy. Mandy laughs at me, but I always want different things, and sometimes, you know, I'll order something and be like, oop, get something else next time. With Jersey Mike's, I can honestly say I don't think I've ever had one that I didn't like. I don't think I've ever had one that I wouldn't happily order again.

And I probably have, because, like I said, I don't really pay attention. All their sandwiches are perfectly customizable. If there's a topping that you have to have or you won't eat that, you know, it's not. Not worth eating, put it on. They'll do that.

They have everything you need for whatever you might do this summer. Jersey Mike's a sub above. Order on the app today or visit jerseymikes.com to learn more. That's jerseymikes.com to learn more.

Well, as the new king of the podcast, you guys want to do my topic idea? Yes. So, look, the last time we played a game and I hosted it, it was a little contentious. I'm not saying that the whole 20 questions debacle devolved us into the situation that we got into, but I do feel like it's. It was not unrelated, that there was some strife sewn between us.

Wade Barnes
I don't think I complained at all during 20 questions. I feel like I enjoyed that one. I think you did, actually, in the. Timeline, we could probably identify that as being the crux, the crux of our division and what eventually led to our separation. Mark hated forks, Bob hated chapstick, and I just liked basketball.

Bob Muyskens
I thought I would circle back and we would play a very similarly lighthearted game, but in a way where there's just no way that it could be so competitive and contentious. It's just a fun game. We are gonna play two truths and a lie. Oh, we're good friends, and we know each other, and we're also good storytellers, so we're good at, you know, coming up with. With details and.

And having stuff that didn't happen, maybe, but making it sound unreal, that sort of thing. Can I preface this with another crutch of maybe some crux of our issue? You remember when we did the episode where Mark's like, how well, do you know me? And I didn't watch the documentary, and I didn't know him at all. So when you say we know each.

Other pretty well, we've all known each other a long time, and we're good friends. Oh, define no. This game is gonna underscore how well we know each other and our pasts, our histories. There's no way this could possibly be bad for anybody. Okay, so do we have to come up with things about ourselves and tell true two truths and a lie?

Wade Barnes
Is that how it works? That is how it works. And I can go first if you would like a moment to think and. And whatever, but you're really competing with each other. One of you will tell two truths and a lie, and then if the person figures out which one's the lie, they get the point.

Bob Muyskens
And if they don't figure out which one's the lie, you get the point. And so it's kind of. But. But I can throw one out there. And maybe if one of you figures out which one's not right, because we all know each other so well.

Are you ready? Would you like to hear my truths? I am on a studio recorded album with world famous funk superstar bootsy Collins. There's an audio recording of me performing on the exact same track as Bootsy Collins. We're on the same studio album.

I almost died at the age of 17 in a monastery in the foothills outside of the. In the, like, Bologna, Italy region. Almost died from traumatic blood loss. And I have had six dogs over the course of my life, including every dog I've had since I was like, baby family dogs and stuff. Who guesses?

You can ask questions, and. I don't know. There's no. This is. It's informal.

You know, it is a competition, and there are points, but whoever wants to go first, you just go first. I'm guessing you didn't have six dogs because you did play in a band called Cincy Brass, and also, you were at CCM. So the circumstance. I don't know who Bootsy Collins is. Very famous.

Parliament Funkadelic bootsy Collins. Very famous. Absolutely. I think. I think you did that.

Mark Fischbach
And I know that you ripped your leg open on trying to jump over a wall somewhere in Italy, and I remember you describing it as, like. So I'm like, you. You might have been close to death, but I'm guessing you had either more or less dogs. Do you want to throw a guess out, Wade, before I give the answer? Okay, I'm gonna think this through out loud.

Wade Barnes
Bootsy Collins. I'm pretty sure has done a bunch of stuff in Cincinnati. I remember hearing his name. I think he's done Cincinnati stuff. Yeah, he's a big.

Bob Muyskens
He's a big Cincinnati guy. The dogs one just feels so random that I'm kind of with Mark on that. Okay. And you both get the point, so you're both correct, and we're all, all friends. Bootsy is just such one of those names that you got to pull out.

Wade Barnes
It's like, he's a sensey dude, but he's not like someone I would just pull out of thin air if it wasn't someone I've, like, done something with. To be fair, I was in a funk band. Bootsy Collins, famous as being the bass player for one of the legendary, all time legendary funk bands. P funk, parliament Funkadelic, incredibly famous in, like, those circles, but also happens to be a Cincinnati guy. One of my friends went to school with the guys that didn't want to get the band name wrong.

I think it's called, like, walk the moon or something. Like something. The moon. Yeah. They're a Cincinnati band.

Cincinnati is producing all the greatest people in the world. Underrated Music City. Eric Nally, also a Cincinnati guy. The guy who sings on the Mclemore track, downtown. Downtown.

Bob Muyskens
I played a show with his band, Foxy Shazam. One of the members of this podcast wrote the hit single Rockabyebobby. Was that mark? Might have been. I can't remember.

Wade Barnes
One of us. Sounds like something Mark would do. Yeah. Yeah. I should get points for that.

Bob Muyskens
Yeah, no, that's fair. So who's got a two truths and a lie? You ready? I have one. Or is it open up to everybody?

I will participate in asking questions, maybe, but Wade's really the one fighting for points here. I'm not gonna try and steal your points, so. Okay. All right, here. Here we go.

Mark Fischbach
Here we go. My favorite color is red. My favorite color is green.

And I like sunflower seeds. I think I might know this one, but I. Wade does not look very confident, I'm gonna say. Well, Mark and I have been fighting over the color red for a long time because I was always like, oh, I'm gonna pick ready. Like, I pick red because we both like red a lot.

Wade Barnes
If your favorite color is red, can your favorite color, like, you can have two colors you really like? So I guess you could have two favorite colors. We had a discussion about this. Wait, if you don't remember. Of course I don't remember.

Bob Muyskens
Okay, nevermind when that didn't happen. Just continue with your. With your. With your thought process. So don't make.

Wade Barnes
I don't think I've ever seen Mark eating sunflower seeds. Even though I don't remember the color green in you, I know you like red. I'm gonna rule that one out, and I'm gonna go with the sunflower seeds. Can I put my guess out there? Just.

Bob Muyskens
Just. Yeah, Bob, you can do that. I'm gonna go ahead and say that your favorite color is red is the untrue one there. So the answer is. And, Wade, if you remember, this conversation, was that it seems a lot like my favorite color is red.

Mark Fischbach
And the conversation we had before, in the previous episode of getting know me. That must have been years ago. I've even said on my videos and stuff, like, oh, it's red. I have a red car. But when I really did some soul searching, my favorite color was actually green.

And it was green from a very young age. Even as a kid, it was green. But there was this other kid whose favorite color was green, and so I let him have that favorite color, and I do like red, but my favorite color, the most peaceful, relaxing color to me, and the one that I actually kind of gravitate towards now more than ever, is green. I suck as a friend, and I acknowledge that. But I have a similar thing where growing up, someone, like, made fun of the color red, and it was my favorite color, and so I was like, oh, well, if red's dumb, I got to pick a new one, I guess.

Wade Barnes
My favorite color is blue. I really liked blue, which I still do, but I switched my favorite color for, like, five years, and then I was like, I like blue, but, like, man, I miss liking red. I think I'm gonna like red again. And I went back to making red my favorite color, but, uh. All right, I might be completely unstable here.

Bob Muyskens
Do you. Do you feel like your favorite color is consistent? Because I feel like I don't really have one favorite color that I can definitively say always this. Definitely this. I've.

There's. There are totally times where I look at something and I'm like, you know, that's red, but that's a great fucking red. Like, that's an excellent. I would pick that over any other color. No, no, I get you.

Mark Fischbach
It depends on the circumstance. No, no, absolutely. It depends. There's. There's certain times where red on a thing isn't the right color to pick.

Like, it's just in some way or another, it's not right for the moment. You know, probably a red casket isn't the best move, but depending on the person. Oh, with flames on the side. Oh, yeah. I want to arrive in hell in style.

I know where I'm going. Have big jets shoot out red and. Black, my favorite pairing of colors. But my dream car, like, years ago, was a dark blue pin, white striped down the middle. Dodge viper.

Wade Barnes
Even though red's my favorite color. Like, just red on the Dodge Viper. Never looked as good as that. Blue with the white stripes to me. Me.

So I think something could be your favorite color, but there's still obviously, circumstances where you don't want that. You know what? Here's your chance for redemption, Wade. Mark gets the point on that one because he. He duped us.

Bob Muyskens
Well, he duped you anyway, by bringing up a conversation that we've had in the last. I want to say that was in the last year. I don't remember how long ago that was, but it wasn't that long ago. But now. Now it's your chance.

What do you got? I have sprained my ankle twice. I have had two concussions. I've had three tailbone surgeries. Okay, so you're.

Mark Fischbach
You're a basketball player at heart. So sprained ankles, one for each. Done and done. That's two. We can put that aside.

Concussions too damn tall. Hit your head on the ceiling all the time. Probably. I don't know what it's like up there. Probably how you lost all that hair.

Three tailbone surgeries. A son of a bitch with a spine as long as yours probably needed three, maybe even four, considering how big your ass is. It just had to be enough, so. But three might actually be the right number. I've got 6ft of tailbone.

Bob Muyskens
It's an exploratory surgery going in there. It's an expedition. They got a spelunk all the way down there anyway. All hands on deck. It's Wade's ass.

Mark Fischbach
I'd be willing to bet that you either. You didn't have exactly two concussions. I think it's the tailbone surgeries, but I don't actually know for sure. I've only sprained my ankle once. Oh, playing basketball for so long, somehow.

Wade Barnes
I've only ever sprained an ankle one time. One of the basketball hoops I played growing up, um, was surrounded by, like, concrete, like, things on the side that were, like, elevated. And I went to, like, block a shot or something, and I landed weird on that and threw my ankle out. And it was like. It was like a couple weeks of, like, horrible pain.

But concussions I got one from playing basketball. And I got one when a friend dropped his pants and I tried to run away from his penis and hit my head on the ceiling. I remember that story. That's a good story. Tailbone surgeries.

I literally. So I got off of a golf cart running the wrong way, and I fell. And all of a sudden my momentum threw me backwards and I messed up my tailbone, and it caused me to have, like, a cystic. The cyst came back two times after the first surgery, so I'd have surgery on it three times. That was during college.

And I got to carry around this fun little, like, wedge butt pillow, walking up and down the hills of UC and the staircases of UC to class. Evan, did you have any drainage pouches on your surgery area? Evan? No. So the one of the reasons why I had to have multiple surgeries was because they didn't leave the thing open.

They sewed it shut. Whoops. Hey, you're supposed to let those things drain. Cysts want to drain. That's the thing.

Bob Muyskens
I know. Sewn shut. Which is probably why this just kept coming back. I thought you were going to say I had. I sprained my ankle twelve times because I played basketball.

And that's the main thing that happens when you play basketball somehow, like, you. Know, my knees aren't the best and my. I hit my head a few different times and whatnot. I actually partially tore a rotator cuff, but somehow I only ever sprained an ankle one time. I never would have guessed that.

Yeah, I dismissed that out of hand. I thought. I assumed originally I was going to. Say I broke my wrist twice, but I was pretty sure I told you guys I never broke a bone. I think that might be too easy.

All right, Mark, do you have more truths and lies? Give me a second. Stall. Vamp. Wait.

You were giving quite the monologue earlier. Would you care to continue that? Oh, yeah. I don't remember who I was yelling at, but, like, fuck you some more, I guess. You sons of bitches out there.

Wade Barnes
How dare you do what you did instead? You know who you are. Stall. You ready, Mark? Yes.

Mark Fischbach
Yes. Yes. Stall. Bald. How's it feel?

Wade Barnes
How's it feel to get it back at you? I have to say, I have the subreddit up in front of me, and the top posts on my screen is a picture that I think they're implying looks kind of like Wade and the sub. The caption. And I'm bald. And I'm bald.

Mark Fischbach
I got it. I have broken two bones. I have had three major surgeries. Major surgeries. And I have not been in the hospital in the past year.

I have not had to stay or visit the hospital in the past year. Interesting. So I know of two surgeries you've had, and I know of two. I don't know about your broken bone history. Hospital in a year.

Wade Barnes
I don't. So time is a weird thing, but I do remember you going to the hospital with the red eyes. I just don't know if that's technically within the last year or not at this point. That's been a minute. I want to say that's within the last year.

So I'm between the bones and the surgeries. I know of one bone and two surgeries. Is there a third surgery? Because you had to have the original surgery in your abdomen, you had to have the follow up for the scar tissue. Did you have to have surgery after, like, your hands and the boiling water or anything else like that?

Or the oil? I don't know, Bones. I can think of one I believe you talked about. I'm gonna say you've only broken a bone once. Is that your final answer?

When I know of two surgeries, I feel like I've only heard of one broken bone story. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna go with. I just want to make sure. Bob, you. I said I have not been in the hospital in the past year, right?

Bob Muyskens
Correct. Yes. So. So, Wade, like, I have broken two bones. My arm and my foot.

Mark Fischbach
I broke my foot about three years ago. Um, and I had three major surgeries. I had my, uh. The tumor removed and the scar tissue. But there was another surgery that was hard to remember, which was the appendix that also came out the right prior.

Wade Barnes
Okay. So I thought there might have been a third surgery. So I was right about that. You literally said the thing. I was in the hospital for my eyes in July of last year.

Mark Fischbach
So it was within a year. I thought you had that. Well, I felt like you were right. I didn't know the bones. I didn't remember the three surgeries.

Bob Muyskens
But the. I was like, I'm pretty sure the hospital was in the. Was in not that long ago. It was almost a year ago. I was willing to give a technicality on the bones because you would have to really know me that I broke both bones in my arm.

Mark Fischbach
And technically, that would mean three bones. But I wasn't gonna. I wasn't gonna be a stickler about that. Yeah, I think I just out thought myself there because I was right. But I was like, well, it can't be that one.

Wade Barnes
That one's not true. So I can't pick that one. It's a lie.

All right. Good work, brain. Wade, do you have some truths and lies? I like asparagus. I like tomatoes.

I like bride okra. Okay, well, if Mark doesn't get this one right, that's just embarrassing. Why is that, Bob? Because the answer is so painfully obvious. I know for a 100% certainty what the answer is.

Mark Fischbach
I know the answer. I know the answer. I'm going to message Wade my answer right now to confirm that before you say anything, I believe I am correct. Okay? I am correct.

Bob Muyskens
It is very embarrassing if you don't know this, Mark. No, it's not. It's not. Embarrassingly embarrassing. Embarrassingly.

Mark Fischbach
It's not embarrassing at all. It's. You said you liked all those things. That was what your statements were. There's one thing I know about Wade is that his fast food order is.

He orders burgers. Blaine, there's never been a tomato slice on your burger for as long as you live. And I ain't ever seen you bite into a fresh, ripe tomato. But what I do know is that you like some country cooking. So, fried okra, I'm willing to bet that's probably one of your favorite, because I tried fried okra relatively recently.

A few years ago. I used to not like okra, and they're like, oh, my God, it's the greatest ever. Here's the thing about asparagus. If there's one restaurant I know you love above all else, it's fogo de chow. And they have some of the best asparagus ever in the history forever.

And I'm pretty sure I remember seeing you shove something asparagus shaped into your mouth before any meat goes in there. It may have been something else, but I guarantee something tubular with a spear like tip when in your mouth at fogo to show you like asparagus. You like fried okra. I don't think you like tomato. Give me my point.

Wade Barnes
You got it. Yes, technically, because I answered him first. I'm gonna go ahead and give that point to myself on that one. I agree. But I knew the answer.

Here's the thing, though. I also like. I like ketchup a lot, which is tomato based. I like, like, marinara sauce. So I like tomato products, tomatoes themselves.

Salt, no salt, whatever. I just can't stand them. But burgers, no ketchup on a burger, either. I totally get you on this one. There's something about the texture of tomatoes that's very common that people don't like them in their, like, normal raw state or whatever.

Mark Fischbach
In gastronomy, this is actually a thing, because tomatoes, when they are cooked, one of their chemicals turns into monosodium glutamate, which is msg, and it turns in so you get more, or actually, it probably turns into glutamic acid. Either way, that's, like, one of the most delicious things to the human palate. So cooked tomatoes, when they're actually properly cooked, are unbelievably delicious. That's why certain spaghetti sauces are just, like, amazing. That's why ketchup can be great.

Ketchup also has a lot of sugar added into it. Raw tomatoes. Did you know that the leaves of the tomato plant can be deadly? Terrible. It's a terrible plant, like, because of poison or what make.

Bob Muyskens
Well, how deadly? They're deadly. I think they're deadly. I'm pretty sure they're deadly. I've never heard that.

Hey, chat. GPT how deadly? How deadly? Tomatoes. No, you know what?

I know what it is. I know what it is. If you take a leaf from a tomato plant, you dip it in liquid cyanide, and then you feed that to somebody dead. But they also contain editors put really scary musical stings behind all this. Glycoalkaloids, primarily solanine and tomatine.

Mark Fischbach
Chachi bt might be making stuff up. I don't know if tomatin, tomatine, tomatine tomato, nessus tomato. But in, in the leaves, you know, if you eat enough of them, they can cause poisoning, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, abdominal pain, and drowsiness. Only one of those things leads to death. They also can cause gastrointestinal distress, headache, confusion, weakness, slowed heart rate.

Bob Muyskens
You know what, mark? I'm proud of you. You didn't embarrass yourself. You earned a point just for not embarrassing yourself. Did I not get any points for the right answer?

No, you got a point. I also got a point. There were a lot of points on that one. Mark, back to you. Guh.

Mark Fischbach
Vibe. Vamp stall. Okay. I used to deliver pizza in Kentucky. In the state of Kentucky, I delivered pizzas, and there was a neighborhood that I was part of our area that was not very nice.

Bob Muyskens
Lots of crime happened. It was pretty sketchy. And whenever you had to deliver there, it was one of those places where you just didn't expect a tip, but it was fine. One time we got a delivery, it was like, one pizza and a two liter. And I get to the, I'm about to turn into this neighborhood, and it's blocked off by cops and not like a cop car pulled someone over.

Like multiple cop cars, all their lights on, can't go down. I park up right at the end of the street, and I walk in this, cops milling around and I walk up and I'm like, hey, can I go? Go down here? Is it like safe or whatever? I got a pizza, obviously, and the guy was like, uh, yeah, I could probably walk you to wherever that is.

You know, someone ordered pizza, that's fine. And he's, and I told him the address and he kind of looked at me and like chuckled, and I was like, okay, that's reassuring. And he was like, let's go. And he started walking me down the street. And everyone was kind of like staring at us weirdly because I'm delivering pizzas through what looked like some kind of crime scene, is like a SWAT van, and there's lots of people just cops milling around and stuff.

And eventually we get close to the address and it's one of those, it's like an apartment building, so there's lots of units. And we get up front and he's like, actually, you know what? Which apartment is it? And I was like, uh, two. Says two.

And he's like, perfect. On the way up there, one of the SWAT guys was just sort of like milling around and he had like, he had like a bit like a gun, like, I don't know, mp5. And the guys were just like, hey, get a picture. Hey, everybody, get a picture with the pizza guys going up there. This is also reassuring behavior.

Thank you. And we got a picture. And then after that, one of the guys was like, oh, he's retiring. This is just like, this is like his last, last big, whatever police thing. And so that's going to go in the scrapbook.

And I was like, that makes sense. Can I deliver this pizza? Or. And so the guy who was walking me, finally we go up to the apartment building. We walk upstairs.

We walk past a door that had clearly just been breached by the SWAT team. Like, door completely exploded in off the hinges. Like smoke billowing out of the apartment, like, and just tons of like CSI and cop people, like, standing inside. But like, clearly the SWAT guys had just cleared that apartment for whatever reason, someone had, someone's violent or whatever, I don't know. And we go to the door.

You know how apartment buildings, the doors are usually like right next to each other and then there's other, the door attached to the exploded door is the one we're going to. And the cop knocks on the door and a guy comes and is like, oh, my God, the pizza. And like, grabs it and slams the door. Doesn't tip me nothing. And the cop is like, yeah, he's probably a little freaked out.

You can go. And so I delivered pizza to a crime scene. Lie. It's a lie I choose. That's the lie.

It's actually a true story. It's just not my story. Mark, are you ready? Uh, no, I was too enraptured by the story. I didn't actually think of anything.

I literally. That's from Reddit. I don't even know. That's probably a fake Reddit story that I'm telling as a. Oh, that wasn't your story?

No, I didn't do that. Oh, I thought that was yours. I thought that was you. You embarrassed yourself, Mark. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

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Uh, two truths and a lie, Mark, I get this. Okay, all right, hold on, hold on. Your hat. All right, hold on. Is this a bit that you're doing or do you actually have no fucking idea?

Mark Fischbach
No. It's so hard. I didn't have any prep time. You didn't give any prep time? Just think about yourself.

Bob Muyskens
Do you know yourself, Mark? Are you familiar? Alright. Okay. All right.

Mark Fischbach
Okay. All right. You want to play that game? You won't play that game. I gotcha.

Whoa, whoa.

Wade Barnes
I think that one's the lie.

That's true. That one was true. Those two are true. No, the last one. No, that last one was a lie.

Mark Fischbach
I got this. I got you. Okay. All right. I have owned and used a Windows phone.

I have met Joe Biden. I have met Benedict Cumberbatch. Well, you'd know how to say his name if you actually met him. Ben Donger cum hole. That's the one.

Wade Barnes
Okay. You did meet Joe Biden when he was vice president. You get sent so many things that owning a windows phone doesn't mean you still need to buy one. You probably were just sent one for. Like, he said, owned and used.

Bob Muyskens
He did say owned it. So I'm assuming you mean, like you used by choice for some extended period, right? Not, like, used for two days and then got rid of because it was like a thing or whatever. Okay. You've been to, like, red carpet screenings of movies and stuff, so could you have met Benedict Cumberpatch?

Wade Barnes
I'm pretty sure you met Seth Green at one. I could see totally Benedict Cumberpatch being there. But why would. Why would you put two met. Unless one of those was the lie.

I know you met Joe Biden. The windows phone. I just genuinely don't know. Meeting Benedict Cumberpatch, both of those are equally probable to me. I'm going to go with the windows phone.

Bob Muyskens
Let's make sure you're saying this correctly. You don't think he owned any use of Windows phone. That's the lie. Because you were so close on the last one. Yeah.

Wade Barnes
Meeting Joe Biden is true. I'm going to say you've also met Benedict Cumberpatch. So I'm going to. I'm going to say the windows phone is the lie. So I've met Joe Biden.

Mark Fischbach
And there is, famously, a picture of me looking at Benedict Cumberbatch from a distance, but I did not meet him. So the windows phone is true. You used that. I was one of five people when I lived at the Americana, and I used to live there. I don't know if I ever told anybody that, but I used to live at the Americana, like, in Glendale, but a terrible place to live.

I could. I could talk endlessly about how horrible it is. Just that fucking song. If anyone's ever been in Glendale and the Americana in Glendale, and there's a fountain there. It's very pretty, but whatever.

They play the same song every hour because the fountain goes every hour, every hour. You hear, like. And the windows are not noise proof like they say they are, but they're not noise proof. So you hear. That's the same song I play right before I go.

While I was there, across the way, there's there's both the Americana and there's a mall next to it called Glendale Galleria. There was a Windows store. I went in, in there, looked at that phone and was like, yes, the future. All right. With all of its.

I remember very specifically all of its grid. Like it's square. Like monochrome apps. Oh, yeah, that's windows eight s grid of things, Bob, I think even you were. You were.

You were talking about it at one point and you were interested in it. Because you were a Windows Phone evangelist for a minute. I advised Mandy to get a Windows phone at one point, which was just the worst piece of shit ever. As soon as I realized it didn't have anything on it. Because for some reason, and probably like either planned or not, but none of the other companies made apps for the Windows Phone.

No one did, except for email, web browser and texting, and did nothing else. So I had it and it didn't do alarms very well. That's the reason Mandy threw it away. It would turn its own alarms off. And she like slept through an exam or almost slept through an exam or some crazy shit in college.

So technically, yes, I did it and I owned it for a bit. And you bought it with your own money? I buy with my own money. It was not a brand deal. I bought that.

Bob Muyskens
Get a pity point for a Windows phone. Took good pictures, though. And can I just say, other phone manufacturers go look at the windows Phone OS and steal those fucking sounds. Because the clockity, clockity sounds in the windows Phone Os of whenever you tap on something. And the keyboard.

Oh, the keyboard sound was. That was like the main thing. I saw it in a store and it was all. And I was like, oh, that alone. No, that wasn't worth it.

But the sounds are really good. The sounds are excellent. You remember that when Nokia made windows phones that were basically like little digital cameras that also happened to be cell phones? Yeah. Yeah, that was an interesting time.

Mark Fischbach
Samsung did a similar thing too. Anyway, good try, Wade. Thank you. But that's okay, Wade. Cause you have another chance and I'm sure that you'll best mark and get a point.

Wade Barnes
I'll try. I played basketball for 13 years. I only ever made one three pointer in my basketball career. I could dunk a basketball as early as 8th grade. See this?

Bob Muyskens
Now you're just gonna have to count. That's the thing that's annoying about this one. These are harder to think of than like, I can come up with like two things. It's always getting a third that's like tricky. So if you played on a team for 13 years, and you only made one three pointer.

Mark Fischbach
That's probably hilarious. One of those feels mutually exclusive to the other. Because if you did play on team for 13 years, what were you doing for those 13 years? He's a big man. He doesn't play outside.

Bob Muyskens
He plays. He plays under the hoop. He makes layups. He dunks. It gets rebounds.

He's a big man. No way. Just by sheer circumstance, there would be no way. Unless he's just that bad. Did you pop out the womb with a basketball?

What? How old do you think I am, man? I just turned twelve. You got me. You're only 23 years old.

How did you start so young? But I mean, on a team. On a team that's k through twelve, to be on a team, if it was 13 years. Unless you played in college, which unlikely. I don't wanna.

I don't want to give you freemies. But didn't Wade played on an organized, like, rec league in college? No way. Nah. You had to have made more than one three pointer.

Mark Fischbach
I believe in you. Too hard. That's the lie. That is the lie. However, I made less than one three pointer.

Wade Barnes
I never made a three pointer in any game. I think I shot three of them that I remember. One was an air ball. One clanked off the rim. The other one I thought was going in, didn't.

But, yeah, I. Bob was right. I was always the big guy. I was always tall for my age, so I was pretty much always shoved under the basket. And, uh, whoever I guarded was their big man.

Bob Muyskens
You just stood there rubbing on each other. But ultimately, I never made a three pointer in my career. I tried, like, my. Like, my last time playing, I was like, you know, I'll take one. It'd be nice to have one under.

My belt, like, get stuck in the scoreboard or something. Third one was. No, the third one was the closest one, but it's still like it was. Some old lady leaving the arena, and she's like, yeah, what a good game. It's like dodgeball.

There's a guy in the stands with popcorn. It's like, absolutely decked. God. Can you give me one clip of you shooting a three pointer? Just like, just a view?

Wade Barnes
And I will intercut it with just.

Bob Muyskens
You could just keep mirroring the footage too, so it's the same shot. It's just like, whoa, whoa. Have you guys seen. Not another teen movie. It was like an early two thousands comedy.

Yeah, I saw it way back. It was like one of Chris Evans first things he plays the quarterback in another teen movie, and early on he throws a pass to, like, this guy who's like, the nerdy shouldn't be on the football field. Guy named Morty. And Morty catches the ball and then, like, two tacklers hit him from opposite sides and it rips him in half. And, like, it messes Chris Evans up to the end of the game.

Wade Barnes
He's got, like, an offensive lineman that's like one concussion away from death. And, like, the scoreboard has a counter for how many concussions this guy could take. And Chris Evans throws the ball. He sits up, like, from his, like, medical bed to, like, see the throw, and it hits him in the head and gives him his last concussion and kills him. And that's just what I'm imagining my three pointers being like.

Mark Fischbach
I mean, not wrong. Not wrong. Only if you put that clip up on their subreddit so everyone can go to work. I don't know if I'm allowed there anymore, man. From what you guys are saying.

Bob Muyskens
Get making Alton post it secretly. No one will know. I like how I thought everyone was being mean to you. And Mark's like, no, Wade, they hate you. And I just got a message, I don't know, from my mod group I'm streaming tonight.

Wade Barnes
And I let my mods know earlier. And they. I just looked over and they posted a message where someone got auto modded out. You ruined distractible for me. Sorry ain't gonna cut it.

Bob Muyskens
Damn.

Wade Barnes
Apparently I f. Whatever happened, I fully canceled myself. I should have never fought for Judge Judy. I clearly was in the wrong. It's so funny that you walked in.

Here with the utter confidence that it wasn't you. That's so funny. I wish you were part of the, like, the messaging thing that Bob and I had where we were talking about it. I went and looked and there were like three messages that were like, I can't believe that they did this to wait again. And I was like, oh, man.

Bob Muyskens
No, it's true. I was very much on the same page with you. Wait, you're not insane. It just really. I'm looking.

If you look at the number of posts that have happened in the last, like, 12 hours, it took a turn. It was from the start. There was a lot of both sides ing. It's taken a turn. It took a real.

It took a decisive direction. Well, I guess everyone's finally had enough of me. So, subreddit, if you guys want to start posting who you want is my replacement, let me know. They already took a poll oh, well. You said Bob again.

Mark Fischbach
Yeah, it was Bob. It's still me. Listen, this is where you could have a wonderful lesson in humility. I think that this is a great learning opportunity for you to grow as a person and as a human. It takes a big person to admit when they've mistaken.

Wade Barnes
And at six foot four, just under, I'm a pretty big person. But fuck that shit and fuck y'all. I was really hoping you were just gonna make a fat joke right at me. Like, that's not at all a thing that we do. Damn, man.

Bob Muyskens
But I was hoping you were just gonna be like. It takes a big person to admit when they're wrong. And Bob's fucking huge. Jesus. But that would have, like, it would have been very funny, and I would have 100% welcomed it because it would have been perfect.

But you, you're tall. It's. You're big. It's true. I'm gonna say that's the end of the episode.

I think we learned a lot of truths and several lies. I have a whole list of points that I'm gonna read now that I hope make sense. Wade, you got points for NCAA Bo glo now. Oh, that's a Joe Burrow. Yeah, right.

Okay. Historical accuracy. What do gods do? Evil. Bob's truth.

Can't remember. Bad at basketball. Mean. Mark Mack embarrassed and basketball pity points. Mark, you got points for Franklin the turtle.

Fuck Michael Douglas. Not doing that. Rockabyebobby author question mark. Hates the color red. Major surgeries.

Major loser who hangs out in hospitals. Not embarrassed. Ben Donger cum hole. A pity point for your windows phone. And you got the three pointer lie correct on Wade's lie.

Last attempt there. I gotta throw this out there. Did he get a point for getting my tomato right? Cause you got that right, too. Oh, I just straight up didn't read that.

Yes, he did get that. Wade, you ended up with eleven points from all that. And Mark ended up with twelve. But if you recall, I earned two points. And I decided while we were playing that I was gonna give my points to the person I feel like really deserved it the most.

And I just feel really bad for Wade right now. I feel like he's in a dark place. I was just thinking, like, maybe if I gave Wade my two points, you know, maybe it would bring him back from the edge of going down, like a really evil sort of path. What do you think, Wade? Would it help you with two points?

Prevent you from being evil? That's a very evil glare that you're shooting. It would give me more currency to crush the bones of my enemies. That's clearly an evil statement. That's a very evil response.

Mark Fischbach
I feel like it's cut and dry. It doesn't sound like the points would make you any less evil. I have to agree with Mark on this one. But what if they made me more evil? That's really not what I'm looking, looking for here.

I I'm not gonna say anything. Why do I need to say anything right in this moment? You made the right choice, because if you had said anything to try and get the points, I was gonna say that you were pandering and not give them to you. And you literally outplayed me and exactly dodged my thing. And so mark, no one gets the points, but Mark wins anyway.

Bob Muyskens
No, that saying a lot of words. Okay, you know what? You're allowed to say words during the winner speech, so how about we just move on to that, buddy? That's what you get. Get the comeuppance.

Mark Fischbach
The comeuppance has occurred. You're so lucky, Bob. If you had given him the wind, he would have gone down the darkest path you've ever seen in your life. He would have been power hungry. He would have held on to the the stewardship of this podcast and never let it go.

He would have done evil untold. You made the right call, Bob. You are a good person, Bob. And it's the perfect juxtaposition of good versus evil at this moment. And you picked the side of good.

And I'm grateful for you. That's why you're the leader of the subreddit. I'm pretty sure I only got one of the three things correct the whole time. I think I was wrong every other one. I think I only got one right.

Wade Barnes
Whereas Mark at least got tomatoes and basketball. So of the game we played, he did get the most right, and I can see that. Therefore, he deserves the win this time. However, Storm's coming. And when I get reigns of this podcast again, everyone will pay.

But if you unfold unfairly, try to take the win from me, but pay more. Okay, well, we can't ever let Wade win again. Got it? Noted. But also not do it unfairly.

You have to fairly beat me forever, or the amount of whining, complaining, and tantrum throwing I will have will be enough to make this person who said sorry ain't gonna cut it actually just explode in their chair. Mark, we just have to podcast out of our minds for the foreseeable future. We just have to play balls to the wall bring it 110% every quarter. Really listen to the coaches strategy and just give it everything we got. And only make games where you have to pay really close attention and follow the rules.

Mark Fischbach
Exactly. I actually have one that I think is going to be really, really unfairly slanted against you, Wade. And that might be the next episode I have to host. We'll have to see what happens. Great.

Wade Barnes
I got to say, a couple weeks ago, someone told me that they were having a kid and they were thinking about naming their kid Wade. But unfortunately, after the latest distractible episodes have come out, Wade has ended up on the banned words list. So no one is allowed to name their kid Wade anymore. After what I did. Hospitals have banned it, doctors hate it.

And click on our merch to find out why. It's a lot of promises. I'll let Wade deal with the consequences of his promises. That is the end of the episode. Congratulations, Mark.

Bob Muyskens
You almost sold it. You almost gave it away, but you saved yourself from yourself, and I respect it. Good gameplay, Wade. It's big of you. It's very tall of you to concede that Mark actually did win the game and that it's pretty fair for him to win.

Wade Barnes
It was pretty easy for even an idiot like me to remember this time. What happened in those three rounds. It's a lot of stuff you don't remember. I'm somehow always delightfully surprised by. Anyway, that's the end of the episode.

Bob Muyskens
Make sure you check out the merch@distractiblestore.com. mark is Markiplier. Weight is Lord minion 777 or minion 777. I am my skirm. We post videos and stuff online.

You can find him. It's pretty good. Everybody follow us on TikTok. Distractible podcast on TikTok. We post there now, and I'm in charge.

So when I, when there's a typo in the caption or whatever, just tell me about it and I will forget that you said that and forget to fix it. And that's the end of the episode. Mark will be hosting the next one because he is the superior human to both me and Wade. And that's it. Podcast now.

Two Truths And A Lie

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1: Introduction

2: Personal Revelations

3: Deeper Insights

4: Concluding Thoughts

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