Chugging Hot Tub Water

Kaley Cuoco

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Mark Fischbach

Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to distractable. This episode well versed Wade tattles on Tyler and has mysterious maple syrup madness on his birthday. Multipurpose Mark misses the moon, invents the cursed cough tub, and has a cutie created curler on his vision. Blokey Bob hates it. Salty catches the mega ick and bashes the Bengals.

From wrecked wrestlers to gaming status. Yes, it's time for chugging hot bath water. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of distractible.

Wade Barnes

I'm today's hostess with the mostest, Wade. Why? Because I'm a winner. What do winners do? They host distractible.

So the winner can only ever be one of us three, because, well, we're the host, and my co hosts are Mark and Bob. Hey, does that mean I'm a winner, too? Yes. Ooh. You literally cannot lose this year, Bob.

Mark Fischbach

I love that. For me, by saying such a statement, I need to remind you guys, the Olympics are this year, and there are going to be many winners there. If all of them have to host distractible, we're going to be in for. A little bit of trouble. Or they're winners with an asterisk because they don't get to host distractable.

Yeah, they're. They're like a. They're like a different type of winner, which is less good than the people who host distractible. It's just the Olympics. You right?

Wade Barnes

Who's even heard of them? I could throw a rock. I could put it. I can put a rock. Yeah.

Mark Fischbach

Okay, cool. Isn't there a saying, don't throw the rock, glass houses. Don't throw the rocks at Dwayne Johnson or roman reigns will get you. He was in the news recently. There's a whole lot of stuff about a WrestleMania that happened or something.

Wade Barnes

It's been all over my timeline. I don't follow wrestling, but apparently it was a really cool thing, that event that happened, and people were very happy. I don't follow wrestling either, but I saw a supercut of. Apparently there's a running bit, like, for a long time of the guy who's called the Undertaker gets, like, knocked out or otherwise goes down for a while and is laying on the ring. And then out of nowhere, while other stuff is happening, it just goes bong.

Mark Fischbach

And he sits up like he's. Like he's rising from the dead and then choke slams the shit out of people. I saw a super cut of just like every time he's done that, it was funny. Without knowing any context about it, I'm. In the wrong field, man.

Wade Barnes

Getting to, like, do a thing, then lay down for a while. Don't have to do another small thing that is perfect for me. If there's anything I know, it's that being a pro wrestler is super easy and relaxing and not at all physically damaging or life ruiningly hard on your body, that's for sure. That definitely sounds good for me, then. I know a bit more about WrestleMania right now only because me and Tyler talk about it a lot on go.

Bob Muyskens

And what happens is every time we talk about it, people get really mad.

Mark Fischbach

I can't imagine why. Because it's not just like, you know, Tyler doesn't think it qualifies as, like, a real sport because the winners are predetermined. Like, okay, I feel like that's good. But apparently every time we talk about it, we talk about wrong, which is fair. Cause I don't know about it.

Bob Muyskens

But what I do know is apparently the undertaker retired, like, officially. Like, I know he's had a few times where he's, like, not going away, but he actually had a retirement, like, a year or two ago. Like a retirement party with all the people in the office? Wait, what do they do? What do they do with a retirement party for wrestlers?

Wade Barnes

They, like, throw you through the cake. Like, congrats. Well, he lost. Oh. So for the first time, I think for the first time, the undertaker actually fully was beaten in the ring after the bong rang or something like that.

Bob Muyskens

And then, like, his hat was left in the ring after everyone left. And it was very symbolic and meaningful. But then he was back, and he. Choke slammed the shit out of the rock and boom. And I know it's spoilers.

Mark Fischbach

I guess if you're a wrestling fan and you haven't already seen what happened at WrestleMania, that's kind of on you. Listen, man, how big of a fan are you, really? What do you got, a tvod you're waiting? You should always watch sporting events live or, like, very shortly after they happen. Cause otherwise us sports talk shows will ruin it for you.

Wade Barnes

But also, apparently, it's not a sport. I don't know. So, like, it is. You have to be really strong and in shape to do this. But I feel like my understanding is I don't think wrestling fans would be like, oh, it is a sport.

Mark Fischbach

It's a spectacle. Saying that it's not a sport is, like, a technical definition of, like, it's not a competition. Right. There's a winner and a loser, but. Well, there is wrestling.

Wade Barnes

That is a sport. But I think, like, WWE is more like a performance. Right? It's like a performance theater. It's, like, very entertaining.

Mark Fischbach

Like, reality tv show. It's very. The characters are outlandish on purpose. It's supposed to be like that. I don't think it's supposed.

I don't think it's trying to be a sport. I think it's trying to be entertaining. Yeah, it's. It's. Men's soap opera is what has been referred to.

Bob Muyskens

Not that men don't watch soap opera, but, you know, that's, like, the general. Dude, general hospital. Be a lot more interesting if everyone just wore underwear and no tops for. Everyone who was covered in baby oil and only wore bikini bottoms. Lucky I'm cheating on you.

Wade Barnes

Who? Lucky. I had to watch some soap operas growing up. Cause my sister watched them, and I was forced to do it. Otherwise, I had to go do my homework.

So I chose the soap operas. I was forced to do it. I was. I could. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it.

Bob Muyskens

My eyes were held open. It was. Ah, man, there's nothing wrong with soap operas. No, no. A lot of people enjoy them.

Wade Barnes

They're just very dramatic. Like, very dramatic. No, you know, it's totally unrelated to anything we're talking about almost. Have you guys ever seen the show Jane the Virgin? No.

She'd had lots of sex by the. Time I tuned in, probably, anyway. It's like, in. It's like a english show made by Netflix, but a lot of it is in Spanish, and it's kind of like model after, like, a telenovela, which is like spanish soap opera. Very dramatic.

Mark Fischbach

I've watched that whole show a couple times. Really good. It's a little much, but it's very good. Highly recommend. Jane the Virgin.

Wade Barnes

I've never stuck through. Well, I mean, so some, like, normal. I don't know. Television shows can be very dramatic, but they don't qualify as soap operas, I think, because they don't play it. Two in the afternoon.

I don't know what the rule is. Do you guys know why they're called soap operas? Why? Because they're dirty. They play during the day, which back in the.

Mark Fischbach

When tv, in the advent of tv, when they were trying to figure out what to put on there, they played when housewives were at home watching. And there would commonly be commercials for soap during these dramatic television programs because they were trying to market to the audience who was watching them, which was the housewife who was at home. That's why that might be totally wrong, but that's my understanding. It's why they're still called soap operas. It's because of that, which just doesn't mean anything in today's world.

Wade Barnes

That's more interesting than my theory. My theory was that the first one was, like, an actual opera where they sang, but during the opera, they had to, like, tough it out and belt it out while someone put soap, like, in a sock and beat them in the back while they sang. But I'm glad that wasn't the case. That sounds bad. Okay.

All right. Yeah. Molly and I started watching Twin Peaks recently, which is, like, an early nineties show. That's weird as shit. Is there a lot of soap socking in that show?

There's at least one soap socking that happens. Okay, well, that's something. But, like, the show feels like it was made by aliens who, like, observed humans for, like, a year and then thought they had us down. It's a weird show. You know?

Mark Fischbach

That is the main and only thing I know about that show is that it's known for being weird. I didn't know that going in. Molly was just like, hey, books, they've referenced this show. Do you want to watch it with me? I was like, sure.

Wade Barnes

And we started watching it. I was like, okay, it's cool. I feel the nineties vibe. And then, like, as it's gone on, I'm like, the hell's happening? Like, there's a lady who just carries a log and she's called log lady.

Mark Fischbach

Yeah, I feel like that one's not that complicated. I've never watched it, but I feel like the show could be described as, like, an improv scene that went on way too long, that it started evolving its own stories. And the callbacks don't make sense anymore. It's like a herald made into a tv show. It definitely has some.

Wade Barnes

Like, this is my first thing I was writing, and as I was going on, I felt more and more creative, and I was just like, fuck it. I'll put it in and then they kept it in. I wouldn't doubt that. Yeah. I think it's probably also kind of performance art, which is, like, a type of art that can be really profound, but most of the time is not.

Bob Muyskens

And it's just very bizarre. And I think, like, that is. A lot of artists feel like the first instinct that comes to mind must be the actual inspiration. You must follow that. And it's pure.

It's pure. Yeah. That's the purity of it. I do recommend it. It's a fun watch, but, man, I've never really done drugs, but sometimes I feel like I'm on them when I watch, because I'm just like, okay, we had a normal show for 20 minutes.

Wade Barnes

Now. Now there's a strange man appearing. Appearing in dreams, robbing people and telling them the future. Sure. And now we're back to norm.

No, it's not normal. What is? What. What? There's a lot of questioning reality while you watch that show.

But anyway, I'm sorry. Watching that recently, I guess we're into small talk, so we'll kind of go in further. Is there anything new going on in our lives? Yes. What?

Mark Fischbach

Oh, okay. You want me to explain? Um, no. Uh, I got COVID from a hot tub. The hot tub wasn't wearing a mask.

I think I mentioned, but maybe not that we're getting, uh. We're getting a hot tub, which is very exciting. It's a thing. Manny had shoulder surgeries when she was sick. Dude.

Wade Barnes

What hot tub? Cause it got you sick. Yeah, but the timing of it came right at the shoulder. The shoulder surgery. Yeah, it was a little late.

Anyway. Sick. Yes. Uh, so Mandy has. Has, like, had surgery when she was younger, has always had shoulder problems.

Mark Fischbach

And so, like, we've always dreamed of having a hot tub because sometimes she just isn't, like, pain. Like, agonizing pain, and a hot tub soak would, like, do a lot to help therapeutically. Yeah, it would be good for her shoulders. And I'm just sort of out of shape, so a hot tub feels really good when you're sore and out of shape. Um, but anyway, we were at the place.

We were at a showroom looking at things. We didn't know anything about hot tubs, and we went to look, and they had. Apparently, there are, like, two types. There's one that's more like a chlorine, kind of like a pool based, where that's how you keep the water clean, and then there's one that's kind of like a salt water hot tub. And I don't do salt water very well.

Wade Barnes

The oat. The ocean, like, if I get the ocean in my mouth, makes me throw up. I don't like salt water. I'm very. I react very strongly to it.

Mark Fischbach

But the saltwater hot tubs were, like, exactly what we wanted. And so I was concerned. I was like, well, I don't want to get a hot tub that has saltwater in it, because salt water literally makes me puke and gag, and I hate it. And so I was like, but they have one. They had one that had the salt water in it on the floor.

And I was like, well, I should just taste the water. And that way I'll know. I'll know if it's too salty. Because the guy was like, oh, well, it's not the same level of salt as the ocean. And I was like, I, like, went over and I smelled it, and I was like, I don't know.

This is. It smells kind of salty. And so ultimately, I was like, I just have to. I just have to taste it, and then I'll know for sure before I commit to spending this money on a hot tub that I can. That that'll be okay.

It won't be too salty. I'll be able to enjoy the hot tub even though it's got salt water. So, anyway, that happened, and literally, the very next night, I came down sick, and it was COVID. And I've. Since the last time we recorded, I've had COVID the entire time until yesterday.

Um, but I did get. I got the paxlovid or whatever, and, like, I got. I got better really quickly, and so I'm lucky. And it was fine. It wasn't that bad, um, of an illness or anything, but I'm pretty sure I got COVID because I drank the public hot tub water.

Wade Barnes

Well, after you drink public salt water, you should always go home and gargle salt water to cleanse your palate. But it was. It was treated. The salt makes it clean. Right.

Bob Muyskens

I don't think those are of a temperature enough to pasteurize anything. If anything, they're. They're kind of like a bio cooker where more things. Oh, it wasn't hot at all either. It was set on, like, 90 degrees.

Mark Fischbach

It was, like, barely a hot tub because it was in there, you know, no one was using it. Right. So it didn't need to be that hot. Yeah. Well, I don't know what's been in there, but apparently something.

Wade Barnes

Well, keters pooped on the floor the other day, and I got the salt shaker and poured it on there, and it just disappeared. Carpet was sparkly. What's happening? What? You said salt made it clean.

Mark Fischbach

Why did the poop disappear? Because you sprinkled salt on it. He's being hyperbolic. No, no, it really happened. I'm telling you a real life story here about an illness and a very.

A very dramatic experience that I had. And I'm mocking you for thinking that salt made it clean and safe. Well, that's the point. The only reason it's salt water is because that's the. That's the way it's chemically treated so that it doesn't get nasty.

Also, it had some sort of ozone treatment system in it, and also some sort of uv thing that was supposed to also kill bacteria and viruses, but it was supposed to be clean, man. Are you sure that you didn't get COVID from the people in the store? Uh, they were all perfectly healthy and also very nice people. That's true. You can always tell when someone is very sick.

Bob Muyskens

With COVID the healthy ones are nice. They wouldn't have done that to me, is all I'm gonna say. Okay. There was a mean guy in the corner. He was definitely sick.

Mark Fischbach

I get mean when I'm sick. So I assume, anyway, I don't know. It's probably not from the hot tub, but it just seems too conspicuous that I drank. I drank anonymous hot tub water, and then I got sick for a week. So I just would never think to taste.

Bob Muyskens

How much did you drink? Is this just like a. You dip a finger and you go. Or a whole. I didn't, like, drink the whole head, but I took.

Mark Fischbach

I was like. And took, like, a little. I aerated it, right? You have to get, like, a. It's like tasting wine.

Wade Barnes

No, no. This gives me the heebie jeebies. I don't like it. It's. There were no people ever in that hot tub.

Mark Fischbach

It's a showroom hot tub. It's as clean as a hot tub gets. You know, as soon as they put the closed sign on the door, they all strip down and hop in the hot tub. It's in the middle of a warehouse that's got windows on all sides. Yeah, but if it's closed, you're not gonna go looking in a warehouse window.

Wade Barnes

That's boring. I don't know what kind of dungeon hot tub shop you went to, but my mind's got, like, a jail cell. Guards behind each player wall. Look, they were nice people. They wouldn't do that to me.

Mark Fischbach

Plus, if you think about it, right? It's not even that gross. It's like I drank people's soup. Did you mistakenly read the sign? It wasn't the hot tub.

Bob Muyskens

It was the cough tub. That's cough. Mistakenly. Whenever you're sick, you go over there, you cough into it till it fills up. That's the COVID head washing tub.

Mark Fischbach

Anyone who's sick, you wash your hands in this tub, and then you can touch whatever you want. We recycle here. See the hospital next door there? Runoff comes down the hill, and we just catch it in this tub. It's wonderful.

Wade Barnes

Then we sprinkle in some table salt, some cinnamon. Very safe, very clean. It's not. We didn't get, like, the most extravagant hot tub the world, but it's still a lot of money. Okay.

Mark Fischbach

And I didn't want to. Did you get the salt one? Yeah, we got the salt one. I didn't want to spend all that money because the salt one had all the features that we wanted, and it was very comfortable. You could climb into them, but they didn't have water in them because we had clothes on, but they were.

You could sit in them, right? And you could be like, oh, this is comfy. Look, this is where my legs will go, and there'll be water. It'll be up to here, and you can imagine. And.

But I was like, I'm not spending all this money on a saltwater hot tub because I I don't want to throw up in my own hot tub. So I had to taste it. It makes sense how. Okay, how did it taste? It tasted kind of like unflavored Gatorade.

You know, like, how salty like sports drinks are. They're, like, a little salty. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, it had. It was like, that level of, like, oh, it's like, a touch salty, but it's not like ocean saltwater.

Wade Barnes

Salty, unflavored. Gives me the heebie jeebies, too, because, like, whenever I did have COVID, I remember losing my taste and some of the things I put in my mouth when I was sick, I was like, oh, man, a chicken nugget. This is, like, as mild as it gets. And it was like a salt cube in my mouth. Like, I had the sensation of just salt with no flavor, and it was awful.

Like, pizza was off. There were certain foods that I was just like, this food's kind of, like, mild. It should be fine while I'm sick. And it was like, no, it is not. It is just anything with salt on.

It was miserable. Whenever I didn't have taste because all I got was the sensation of salt and no flavor, it made me not want to eat a lot of my favorite foods for a long time. You were just getting pure flavor. Just weren't ready for it. Getting a hot tub is cool, though.

Congrats on that. I. Molly, I'll definitely come visit more now. Well, and it's cool because the. I don't know if this is a feature before, but I always imagine hot tub were just sort of always hot.

Mark Fischbach

You could set the temperature, and so babies can't go in hot hot tubs, but you could set it to, like, 80 degrees to where he could totally. It's like a pool for him, right? He's tiny, you know, swim around in the hot tub. So it's not exactly a pool, but, like, he could go. We could have, like, family pool time in the summer and go hang out, and it'll be very fun.

We're very excited, and ours won't have COVID in it. So unless the neighbors mistake it for the cough tub, if you get in. It after it arrives and you get sick again, then you really got to consider that it's cursed and not so much like a plague bearer. Well, the one I got COVID from is not the one that we're getting. We're getting a different tub.

I would be cursed. Unless they deliver the wrong one, and it's already got the same water in it. They just deliver it as it. It shows up full of water on a flatbed. Man, it really sloshed around a lot, but we kept most of it in there.

Here's your tub. No, it's. As soon as they set it down, it's empty. And you all turn around to sign the paper, and you turn back, and it's full. It's full.

And you just hear, like, the echo of ghostly coughs in the background. Look, it has some issues, but you'll never have a high water bill with this tub. What about you, Mark? I got another gross thing. Yay for everyone that hasn't crashed their car from listening to this.

Bob Muyskens

Actually, I don't want to talk about it anymore. Everyone's getting an accident. No, but you have to tell your story, because you gave us a teaser, and now I need to know. No, no, I don't want to talk about the car crashes. Edit all this out.

Let me start over. Hi. Welcome to distractible. I'm your host. Hold on.

Wade Barnes

Let me check the script. I've got doozy for you guys. So you remember a long time ago, this event occurred that is really, really memorable for a lot of people. Where Chica, when I first got her, pooped on the floor, and roomba spread it everywhere. Right.

Bob Muyskens

So yesterday, Chica was home. We weren't gone long, but apparently she had some upset stomach. And this happens, you know? It does happen. She pooped in the house, but she just so happened.

And I have to show you a picture, and do not put this on. The pixelate, but I gotta show you. Guys a picture because it'll tell the entirety of this story. And it just doesn't make any sense how this occurred. I have lunch on the way.

Mark Fischbach

Wait, what? She pooped on a thing that was off the ground, and it got on my vision pro.

Wade Barnes

Dude, you can really see shit. How did she poop there? I don't know. It's not. The vision pro is not on the ground.

It's on. Like, it's on a case for my lights that is on the ground. It's. I don't understand how this curd. It doesn't make any sense.

Mark Fischbach

How could she have pooped on my vision pro? Why? Her poops have value seeking sensors built into the tip. They'd go for whatever the most expensive thing that's reachable is. It's legitimately like.

Bob Muyskens

I can't think of a single thing that is more valuable, monetary wise, not emotionally wise. More valuable than that. Anywhere close to the floor. Even the computer that I'm doing this on cost less than that thing. And that's.

Wade Barnes

You know, I get it. That's not a good say. I'm not trying to be like, oh, woe is me. It's just like. It's so bizarre that that thing would be the thing that would get poop on it.

Her ass has expensive taste. It sure does. It sure does. I'm not gonna lie, though. I don't know if this would be better or worse for you, but what I imagined you were going to show us was that she'd poop somehow rolled in the floor on it, and then gone and laid around the house and left, like, lay marks around the house.

I don't know why that's what I thought, but that's what I thought. Well, no, not quite like that, but it was. Thankfully, Amy was home first, and she discovered us. Thankfully, it was Amy's problem. Did you realize what happened before you put your vision pro on?

Mark Fischbach

Or did you not even notice? Man, the smell of this is so strong. I had to clean this vi. This, like, cushion. It's getting stinky in here.

Bob Muyskens

I haven't used tense, just so you know. Look well, so if the picture's not going to be shown, it was a small smear of poop on the case of the vision pro. So the headset's fine. I'm going to guess that pristine white fabric material that that case is made up really absorbed and locked in the poop. I'm just going to guess.

No, actually, that's a waterproof cover, so I think it came off. Yeah. But mentally unclean for the rest of your life. It's fine physically. It's like after I.

There's a picture I posted on social media a while ago, I think Twitter, but it was, um. I picked up my old VR headset when I got, like, the valve index. And I'm glad I looked in it because there was a spider and what looked like a very venomous spider. I'm not 100% sure. I don't think it was a black widow, but something like that right in the eye part, like tucked into the, where the, the eye things are.

It was right up in the corner. Fun. And if I had put that on, I would have been like, whoa, this spider's so realistic. Whoa, spider loading screen. I can even feel it biting my eye.

And so since then, I have not. I didn't use that after one. Afterwards, I didn't. I don't know why, but I didn't. I.

Mark Fischbach

You got the spider out, right? Yeah, I think. But you never know. Maybe you should have double checked. Because here's the thing.

Bob Muyskens

If it laid eggs and then I'm wearing one day and I thought it was clean, and then one day, just tiny, millions of baby spiders, and then. I, I don't know how many years spider eggs last, but I'm pretty sure there's a expiration date on those. Until you touch them, the eggs are good until you touch them with something, and then they just all emerge immediately. He's right. He's right.

Wade Barnes

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Bob Muyskens

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Kaley Cuoco

Well, why didn't you say so? Just download the priceline app right now and save up to 60% on hotels. So whether it's cousin Kevin's Kazoo concert in Kansas City, go Kevin. Or Becky's bachelorette bash in Bermuda, you never have to miss a trip ever again. So download the priceline app today.

Your savings are waiting. Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price price line. Wade, has anything bad happened to your house? You know, my birthday happened recently.

Bob Muyskens

Terrible occurrence. What bad thing could happen to a man on his birthday? Well, you guys remember the radon mitigation system? I mentioned that once or twice. And your fireplace was beeping.

Mark Fischbach

You ever get that fixed? Fireplace was beeping. So here's what happened. We replaced our sump pump. We replaced a fan for the radon mitigation system.

Wade Barnes

Those things are connected. And then I went outside, and the dogs were outside sniffing around, going to the restroom. And they both got to a point where they were like, oh, hell, yes. And they took off toward the side of the house, like, what in the fuck are they so excited about? Oh, no.

A dead animal. Something terrible. And they ran over to, like, our AC unit, and they were just like, oh, God, I love this smell. And they were, like, going nuts, running around. And I was like, what in the shit is happening?

And I walked over and I was like, what? Was someone eating waffles out here? Because the only thing I could smell was this really strong scent of maple syrup. Most obvious, maple syrup. I could not be mistaken for anything else.

It was maple syrup. And I was looking around and I was like, I don't see anything on the ground. There's this, like, gas line. I guess there's this AC unit. I guess there's this really powerful power cord that says, like, duke energy, which is a Cincinnati power company on it.

What could possibly be dangerous right here? I hope it's not a gas leak. Oh, God, the dog's really crazy. It's a gas leak. I'm gonna blow up a die.

Because earlier that day, as Bob mentioned, my fireplace was beeping whenever somebody was outside doing something. I forget what they were doing, but, oh, we had, like, some wood, like, around. We have a generator. And the wood got damaged around the generator when someone was doing, like, some kind of landscaping thing on the generator itself. So we replaced, like, a piece of wood, and the guy was over there working, and I was like, you replaced the wood on.

Around the generator? And he hit a gas line, and now it's leaking a maple syrup smell, and we're all going to die. So the first thing I did was I immediately called, like, the gas company. And I was like, they were like, this is after hours in case of emergency. I was like, yes, it could be.

And like, they were like, oh, hey, what's going on? I was like, does gas smell like maple syrup? And they were like, I don't think so. But you know what? I'm gonna put.

I'm gonna get you one of our technicians. They'll call you in a few minutes. We'll get you sorted. And while I was waiting to hear back, I was doing more research. I was like, maple syrup smell.

Maple syrup smell. Could be urine. Could be an air conditioning coolant leak. And I was like, ac units, right there. AC coolant leak.

That's it. I'm gonna call and get someone from the AC company out here. So I called. I was like, hey, you guys know that maple syrup smell? I saw it online.

I've got that. And the person was like, um, never heard that one before. But I. Okay, okay. Maybe.

Maybe you have an older model. No, no, no. You can't trick me. I've got the maple syrup stink. I sounded like a madman because I kept calling numbers.

I was like, dude, maple syrup. I know. I know it's you. I know it's you. I know.

Maple syrup. I got a smell. Maple syrup. So I kept calling, and eventually, like, you know, the. The gas company technician called me back, and he's like, it would smell like eggs or something, whatever smell.

He told me propane has a scent. Other gas has a scent. He was going through different sense of things. So, okay, probably not that. Next, the other person called me.

They were like, hey, I can come out tomorrow, take a look. If it's your AC coolant, you know, it's fine to wait for a day. I'll come take a look tomorrow. We'll see what it is. This is on April 2, so I'm streaming, and then 09:00 eastern, I end my stream, and then Molly, text me.

Door, question mark. And I was like, door. And I go upstairs, and there's people at my front door. And I'm like, who's at my front door at 09:00 at night? Is it the gas company?

Maple syrup. Is it the AC people? I open the door, and Tyler is standing outside. I was like, you don't live here. Then our friends bird and Fu are also outside next to Tyler's.

Like, you guys also don't live here. You're holding something. Is that a cookie? Cake? They're like, surprise.

It's like, what? What's happening? Oh, it's my birthday tomorrow. You guys are here the day before my birthday. Surprise.

We might have a gas leak. Got their suitcases and stuff. I was like, come on in. It's definitely safe. Nothing to worry about.

So they surprised me. It was awesome. They came in, we hung out. Next day is my birthday, and we're talking about plans. Like, oh, we're gonna go out and do this.

I just gotta wait for this technician to come out. He's gonna take a look at the AC unit, probably to replace something. But, you know, it'll be cool. Dudes shows up, takes a look at the AC unit, and on my birthday, I'm describing this maple syrup smell. And the guy's like, I do smell maple syrup, actually.

Like, I've never heard that. Honestly. Thought you were crazy, but it smells like maple syrup. I was like, I'm not crazy. I know maple syrup.

I've had it. I've eaten maple syrup before. I know the smell. It goes on waffles. It goes on pancakes, french toast.

Mark Fischbach

I know about maple syrup. So the guy's trying to convince me it's not the AC unit. And he's like. He's rubbing his hands on the pipes of the thing. He's like, I know this is weird, but, like, I was like, oh.

Bob Muyskens

For those who are just listening, Wade jutted his fingers towards camera, not said a word. That's what happened, was the guy held his fingers toward me, like, in a very. Took me a minute to realize, an attempt to get me to sniff his fingers. Well, he didn't want to say out loud the words, smell my fingers. I don't like to admit it to anyone, but, yes, I paid this man $60 to come to my house so I could smell his fingers on my birthday.

Wade Barnes

Oh, did you? Yes. Three separate times. I smelled this man's fingers three times. That's a little strange.

And none of the times that his fingers smell like maple syrup, they were bad. It got away from bad to worse. The mystery thickens, you know? And there were only two pipes you rubbed on, so I really. I honest, I swear to God, I don't know what the third one was that I smell, but they were all bad.

Mark Fischbach

I don't mean to say it, but. Have you thought about a canadian ghost? Like, I hadn't. There are a lot of canadian ghost refugees in Ohio. Are you.

Bob Muyskens

Is your house on a canadian burial ground? Is this, like. I just gotta ask. Yes. People do.

Wade Barnes

They. They have their pilgrimage from Canada to Cincinnati to bury their loved ones where I live quite often, but, yeah. Smelled his fingers. No maple syrup. Nothing good.

Really weird. And the guy's like, okay, well, let me check a couple other things. You have, like, an exhaust pipe over here from your furnace. I'm gonna go check that. Just make sure it's not a gas leak.

I've got this fun little thing that looks like a ghostbuster tool I'm gonna rub across all your pipes. So we did that. No gas leak, but he did smell our exhaust thing from our furnace. He was like, the scent's kind of strong. I'm gonna take a look at your furnace, make sure we're all good there.

Then I guess I'll get out of here and the smell doesn't go away. Call someone else. Cool. Who do I call? And he's like, ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters. I'm just kidding. I don't know. See ya. See ya.

You exit a bit that you're like. Ah, that doesn't land. See? Well, I was the guy. It was the guy, right?

Yeah. Wade is. Wade is standing there next to the repair technician, and he's like, who do I call? And the guy's like, ghostbusters. No, I'm just kidding.

Mark Fischbach

I gotta go. Good luck. I don't know, man. Just as an exit tool for a. Conversation I don't want to be in.

Bob Muyskens

That's great. See ya. See ya. So guy comes in the house, he looks at the furnace, and he's like, all right. Uh, it's an older furnace.

Wade Barnes

Let me take a look here to describe what happened. Uh, his eyes got wide, and he froze. Didn't say a word. Immediately reached for a valve, turned it, grabbed an orange, I think it was an orange ticket out of I don't even know where. Immediately put it around the thing and was like, you need new furnace.

I was like, what, maple syrup? He's like, no, no. Maple syrup. Maple syrup. He's like, I don't know what made the maple syrup noise.

But, like, your heat exchange is, uh, you need a new furnace. Oh, no. Can you just do that real quick? I don't know if you guys remember this, but a year, year and a half ago, old house, guess what? Had to replace the furnace in the AC unit.

Mark Fischbach

I do remember that, yeah. So the guys, like, you need a new furnace. And, like, you know, your AC unit, it's newer, but some parts were soldered and welded that aren't supposed to be. It's not really a great brand. And in all honesty, I was gonna just tell you that you might want to look into replacing it at some point before it goes bad, because it was just.

Wade Barnes

It was installed really poorly, and I was like, oh, so if you're gonna do the furnace, you could do a bundle where you do the furnace, AC unit. I was like, dude, I just did this, like, a year ago. Don't do this to me, man. Not you. Not like this, please.

Maple syrup. I called you about maple syrup. Don't tell me the furnace. Maple syrup. Maple syrup.

We can have some guys come out tomorrow. I'll have another guy come out today. He'll go over pricing and stuff with, no, I don't want to. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.

Ultimately had to wait. Meanwhile, you know, tyler, bird, foo, they're chillin. They're like, man, we can go downtown to Cincinnati. We go to the zoo, maybe we call it Bob Mandy. We hang out, have some fun friend times.

I was like, hey, guess what? I got another technician coming in, like, an hour. I'm stuck. But tomorrow, tomorrow we'll do some fun stuff. Guy comes out an hour later, gives me pricing.

I agree. Whatever. Yeah. Technician will be out tomorrow around, like, 07:00 a.m. To start working on your furnace.

07:00 a.m.? Tomorrow? You mean all my friends are here? How long will it take? A couple hours.

Yeah, about eight to 10 hours. 10 hours. All my friends here for the surprise birthday party. Okay, so next day, we're here to install the furnace. They install the AC unit.

Takes all fucking day. Surprise party turned into like, hey, maple syrup, smell my fingers. Pay 16 grand for another furnace nacea unit. Happy birthday. All right, we got to go to the airport.

See you. Wait, guys, what about hang out now? We're leaving. Maple syrup. Oh, man, you know, it's such a shame, because what should have happened is they should have all chipped in, got you a new furniture, and installed them themselves.

Yeah, all they brought me was a cake and some plane tickets to fly to see me. Those cheap bastard. I swear to God, they must have been chucking maple syrup bottles into your. Your chimney, and it went down. That was before they were even in town.

Here's the kicker. Do you know what the cake said that they brought me, that I looked at? Sorry about the maple syrup. Happy birth. Ran out of letters.

Close. Mark, you have a guess? No. We have an inside joke from where we went to Disney a year and a half ago. And as sports fans, birds, a fan of the 49 ers.

I'm a fan of the Bengals. So you're the of the worst team. Come on, man. Come on, man. A year and a half ago, the 49 ers and Bengals were both in the AFC championship game, and the 49 ers had zero quarterbacks.

Their quarterback, like, broke both of his arms. Their other quarterback had a concussion. They were to the point where they had a quarterback who could not throw. All he could do is hand the ball off. They lost.

The joke phrase of the day became, can this day get any worse? Later that night, the Bengals lost to the Chiefs after one of the Bengals players tackled Patrick Mahomes 3 miles out of bounds. And we said, can this day get any worse? So they brought me a cookie cake that jokingly said, can this day get any worse? And then my furnace and AC unit broke.

It got worse. So what smells like maple syrup? Yeah. What was the maple syrup about? Never solved the mystery of the maple syrup.

Mark Fischbach

Did it go away? I didn't. So I've gone out and I've smelled a couple times. I don't smell anymore. So my best guesses are it was in fact the AC unit or it was some animal's urine, because apparently some animal could have something going on where their urine can have, like, a maple syrupy smell.

Canadians. But the weird thing is the smell seemed like it was higher up on, like, some bushes. It was like middle up on these bushes. So it wasn't like it had to have been like. It was chica, chica, chica.

Wade Barnes

Shat on mark's vision pro, then came and pissed on my bushes. She's learning how to defecate higher. Mark, go smell your vision pro. Does it smell like maple syrup? Did you taste the poop?

Mark Fischbach

Are you sure it's not maple syrup? No. Yeah, I got hosed on the eclipse. Ooh, I saw the eclipse. It was very cool.

Bob Muyskens

Yeah, I got hosed. I got. We're 40 minutes in almost, and this is the first time we're bringing up like this once in a hundred year phenomenon that, well, that we're probably gonna get to see. I guess it happens more often. Not for us.

Mark Fischbach

I am going to be that guy, and I'm sorry that I'm this person to everyone out there who enjoys things. It was cooler than I thought. I'm glad people made a big deal about it because I was kind of like, yeah, I've seen an eclipse before. It's fine. And then it was very cool because we actually pretty much saw a totality of not 100%, I don't think, quite, but it's very cool.

Yeah, but people lost their whole fucking minds about it. And I'm like, it's fine that you enjoy things, but we were in our, in our own yard, in our neighborhood. We were standing out there and it happened and we were all kind of like, oh, wow. Oh, that's very, that's beautiful. But around our neighborhood, you just hear in the distance, like, can you totally.

And it's like, what, did you all lose your minds? What happened? What? It's cool, but what the shit is happening? The only thing dangerous, more dangerous than a full moon is a full sun moon.

People, like, went feral for this. They're like, yes, it's cool and beautiful, but, whoa, calm down a little bit. It was a big event. So we saw it was about 98, 99% what we saw. It wasn't like a full eclipse, so it was still pretty cool.

Wade Barnes

The thing I didn't expect, for some reason, the way the world looked during it was very like zombie apocalypse movie lighting. It was just like the world dimmed and had like, this kind of yellowish tinge to it. It was like, this really feels like. I meant like the walking dead. Like, yeah, that's cool looking, but I'll see photos and videos of that later.

The feel you can't really replicate was like the looking around everywhere and having like, that dim yellowish lighting. You know, it's. It's entirely possible, Bob, that you were at 99% totality and you're like, that's pretty cool. But just down the road, your neighbor, they got 100% and they were beamed with the eye of God. They're all shitting and coming at the same time.

Bob Muyskens

And you just got the. The edging of the eclipse. Maybe the eclipse is what caused the maple syrup smell to go away, which is why I can't find it, dude. I can totally. It doesn't happen a lot in a world like, you know, a couple hundred years ago or something, in a world where science is less sophisticated and there are 24 hours, news stations explaining to you exactly what's happening with the eclipse and blah, blah.

Mark Fischbach

If that just happened and you're like, outside, like, working or. And you just look up and that's happening, I would definitely have been like, oh, shit. God's mad, guys. Holy fuck. Like, I don't know what we did, but something bad must have happened and we should be sorry because it was very surreal without the understanding of what was happening.

That would freak me out, man. But the people who were screaming like wild animals, they should have known what was happening. So I don't think they had the excuse that. That, you know, someone from sometime in the past should have. And I am sorry you missed out, Mark.

Wade Barnes

It was cool to see you guys were in a good spot, except for what with the weather. Yeah, it was just the weather. I mean, it was. Austin was still on the edge of it, so we wouldn't have had a very long totality, but we would have had it. And it was just one of those things where there happened to be the weather reports.

Bob Muyskens

So many people came into Austin just for this. Like, all the hotels and Airbnbs were booked up. News started breaking that high clouds from. The west, low clouds from the south. And it was like, as soon as.

The totality happened, it started hailing. So in reality, it was very much a different kind of interesting event. Everyone's looking up, just getting pelted in the eyes. Like, I can't look away. Is this why you're not supposed to look at eclipses?

Ah, I gotta say, it didn't hail. Right. And also. But it was like in Texas, this storm mixture creates hail because it's like the high weather and the low weather stacks, and it causes rain. And to circulate this in the cold so it freezes.

But they were predicting softball size hail. Oh, shit. And I'm not 100% sure it was like, a possibility of it, but it's just like, whoa. You just go with your telescope, your glasses, and your catchers mitt, and you're good to go. No.

Mark Fischbach

You know, Mark, I know that you're sad that you didn't get to see it in person, but I have great news for you. Your favorite moon photographer, a James McCarthy, is currently compiling the most extensive hdr, thousands of images together. Don't worry. A James McCarthy has your back. Oh, boy.

Bob Muyskens

Now, see, I don't mind that. That's cool because it's at least not. The same picture of the moon. At least that'll be unique and interesting. Wow.

Mark Fischbach

Still not over the moon stuff. Huh? Can't let that go. I'm kind of at a loss here. I had, once again, I've had a topic.

Wade Barnes

We've not. We've not got a chat in a minute, and we've had a lot of events happen in our lives recently. Clearly, we're a bit further in than we usually are to start a topic. So I don't know if I just keep the small talk going or if I try to squeeze in a little bit of a topic, but, like, well, we're not gonna do your job for you. You decide.

Mark Fischbach

What do you want the two people who aren't you to do the entire episode for you? That's just lazy. I'm more so just setting the table for if there's anything else y'all want to talk about before I maybe introduce ten minutes of a topic, but, like, fuck you guys. I guess I was sick, so I don't have anything. Are you still on about that?

You know what? I will say Mandy got it and is currently in, like, in the sick part of it. Baby never got it. Has the immune system of an ox. He's the healthiest man I know.

Apparently. He also didn't drink any of the hot tub water, so could be that. Wait, did Mandy drink the hot tub water? No, but they made out right after Bob did. She never stood a chance.

Wade Barnes

Mandy, I can handle the saltwater. She's like, I love you. Should we buy this hot tub? Let's make out to decide. We're gonna give it a test ride.

Mark Fischbach

Look away, look away, everyone else. Everyone look away for give us 30 seconds and cover your ears. Play some music. Play nickelback. Never made it as a wise.

Play the other one. Play the other one. I want to be a rock star. Yeah, that's the one. Isn't that a good making out song?

Wade Barnes

Probably. I have new fidget toys that are quiet and magnetic. I got something else for my birthday. You mentioned the fidget toys. That's cool.

I forgot to share my birthday present from Tyler. Tyler went to Thailand for a little while, right? He was out of the country. I was playing lethal company with Bird, and Tyler was going to join in a bit. And Bird's like, oh, yeah?

Well, when Tyler gets back from Thailand, I was like, wait, tyler's going to Thailand? Yeah. He's had this trip planned for, like, months. I was like, oh, you know, my. The best man from my wedding.

I didn't tell he was leaving the country for a while. That's weird. So Tyler joins the lobby, and I was like, hey, man, didn't know you were leaving the country. And he's like, bird, you told him? Was I not supposed to know?

He's like, no, I was going to tell you. We have an hour. Like, bird has a video on his YouTube channel, Bird 650. Shout out, where it's like 50 minutes cut down of he and Tyler and I having, like, an argument in this game about Tyler going to Thailand. And ultimately, Tyler's like, well, I thought I already told him.

Anyway, so we argue for an hour. Then Tyler does the Tyler thing, where he's like, what? I already told him. And it's like, then why were you yelling? Like, why were we fighting?

Anyway, Tyler goes to Thailand. Two weeks in, he texted me. I was like, dude, Tyler's gonna give me an update. He's gonna see. I'm excited to hear about his trip.

And his text was, hey, Wade, you have any footage from lethal company from back in November? And I was like, how's Thailand?

Nothing. Anyway, don't hear from him. I hear from, like, one more time about something random. It's like, this is my best man. Why am I so in the dark?

Mark Fischbach

You told him. Gets back from Thailand. He shows up at my doorstep for my birthday. He's like, dude, went to Thailand. I was like, that's great.

Wade Barnes

Got you a birthday present. Like, oh, what you get me from Thailand? He's gonna make up for everything. He got me this book. It's made out of elephant shit.

Mark Fischbach

Made with real poo. It is literally made from elephant shit. Is it a book or, like a journal? It's like a journal. It's blank pages.

Wade Barnes

But the whole shtick of this thing is an elephant. Shat this out. Look, if an elephant could shit out a fully produced journal, that's very impressive and cool, but I'm assuming someone had to. They refined it or something. Afterward, they went through a lot of effort to turn this poop into a book.

Bob Muyskens

I really hope they didn't go through a little bit of effort. Maybe I'll keep points in this one day once I'm done with my current. Point thing, but no, that should be your distractable notebook. That's perfect. I need shit paper to keep my points on.

Mark Fischbach

Now I'm jealous that I don't have one. I'm just curious what I did. Like, I was one of the best, if not the best, host of go, my favorite sports team. A couple of times. I, you know, Tyler was the best man.

Wade Barnes

Gave a great speech at my wedding. And then something happened where he went to Thailand. Didn't want to tell me? He came back and he gave me literal shit for my birthday and broke my furnace. And I did.

I just. I don't know. I don't know what happened, but that. That was my present, was a poop book. But do you know for sure he broke your furnace?

He might have pooped in the furnace. Can I just toss this out there? Do you think while Tyler was in Thailand, at every opportunity it came up and be like, hey, my name's Tyler. This is my land. We're in my land.

This land is your land. This land is Thailand. I've made similar jokes. He doesn't really laugh very hard, but I can tell he finds them really funny. He's either.

There's two phases of Tyler. There's Tyler that, like, stone faces your jokes, and there's Tyler that laughs for 40 minutes, making goose calls, noises, dying and not breathing in oxygen. You just gotta be funnier. There's not much in between. For him.

It's either he's all out or not at all. But, yeah, apparently, guys, in Thailand, there's a place called Poo Poo Paper park. It's a whole park. There's what the website for this is poo poo paper park.com. For those listening.

That's popopaper.com, not sponsored, but, like, I've got a shit book from Tyler and a broken furnace in front. It's in Chiang Mai, Thailand. You could shop by poo type. Oh, yay. Elephant poo poo paper.

Mark Fischbach

Cow poo poo paper. Horse poo poo paper. Donkey poo poo paper. He didn't give me ass paper, so thankfully he gave me the elephant. Wow, good.

Wade Barnes

While they were here, though, there. So you know how we played that board game, nemesis, Mark, the co op one and the other? Apparently, there's a lot more co op games than I thought because when Bird and Foo and Tyler were here, they brought this game that was actually really challenging. Maybe because we're dumb, but also it was really fun. They have, like, these mystery.

Almost like escape room games. Like, this one was like a Sherlock Holmes game. Oh, we have that. It's one time use. Yeah, we have the Sherlock Holmes mystery game.

Mark Fischbach

Actually. It's only one time. It's very fun. Yeah, you get to, like. They sell them like.

Wade Barnes

Yeah. So it's like you get to do, like, an escape room. You do one time, you kind of know what's gonna happen. Oh, right. Yeah.

Bob Muyskens

Okay. So the way that this one worked was like, you open it up and you read like this intro. And then you have to solve the case. But, like, along the way, some of the clues that you open as you're solving things, you, like, destroy them. Like, you literally cut stuff up or you.

Wade Barnes

You build stuff. Like, you do different things along the way. And so the game's a one time play for, like, ten or $20 or whatever. You're supposed to be able to do it, like, within an hour. It was like, oh, if you do it within an hour, you're really smart.

We spent four, maybe we did stop to eat dinner and have dessert in the middle, but, like, we took a bit longer to. But we had some fun times during that. Tyler is always a blast to do things with because you just never know what he's going to do. Like, for one point, I was like, oh, I've not seen this clue yet. I picked it up to read it, and tyler's like, oh, I need that.

I literally read the first word. He just took it out of my hands and was like. So that became a running gag time. One of us wanted. We're like, oh, man, my cheesecake.

We're like, oh, I need that. And, like, grab it from someone. But it was really fun. I didn't know those kinds of things existed. Like, one off cooperative?

Mark Fischbach

No, those are super fun, actually. We have a Sherlock Holmes one. Is that the one with the map where everything's numbered and you, like, go around to different locations to interrogate people and to get different clues and stuff? Yeah, I think there's different versions of that same genre, but there's, like, different clues. There's, like, images you look at.

Wade Barnes

There's, like, clues all over the place, even, like, the box can be clues, like, everything. Yeah, it was really cool. Yeah. I feel like it would be a lot easier to design a game if you don't have to do it for replayability or randomization, if it's just, like, one time purpose. But then you have to develop a lot more of them, I guess.

It's like, those boxes. You know, those boxes people do, like, videos on where they, like, are given a box. They have to figure out how to open it to get to, like, the. It's like that. It's like a mystery box, but, like, Sherlock Holmes clue style.

Yeah. I didn't know it existed, but really cool. Something we should definitely do at some point. Tyler's so funny. I'm gonna ask him if he bombed your house with maple syrup.

Mark Fischbach

What are you gonna do if he tells you not to tell Wade? Oh, that's true. Yeah. So the first guy that showed up, man, he smelled it, and his options were like, well, it can't be the AC unit, can't be the gas line. You think some kids came around and, like, pranked you?

Wade Barnes

And I was like, you think that some children thought that the biggest prank they could do was to grab a bottle of maple syrup, come to our house, and pour it on a bush near our AC unit? Honestly, that's a really. That's a really smart prank. That's exactly the level of prank where it's like, even if you saw them doing it and you came out, you wouldn't, like, call the cops and chase. You come out and be like, maple syrup, dude.

I would have brought a plate and a spoon and tried to salvage some, saved myself the effort. But, yeah, like, that's, like, the top tier type of prank, because they couldn't even get in any trouble. But also, that caused a bunch of mischief and costs you a ton of. Money if that's what happened. But, like, I wasn't the only one who smelled it.

Everyone smelled it. They were like, that is maple syrup. Like, everyone thought I was crazy till they smelled it. And, Mark, how hard do you think it is to fill water balloons up with maple syrup? Probably not that hard, especially if you go straight into a tree nearby.

Bob Muyskens

What you do is you plant a maple tree nearby, but Wade wouldn't know what the difference between a maple is. So you're. You're good, and then you just put a tap in there, and you feed the line directly into his house. We probably have maple trees. We have maple trees here.

Wade Barnes

He wouldn't know. He doesn't know. Hey, no, no. I know what the leaves look like. He's not even listening right now.

Mark Fischbach

He can't even hear what we're saying. I'm gonna look up Shakira. You guys suck. Is he our episode? Which there's not even a topic for.

Well, there is a topic, but we. Spent 50 minutes talking about random stuff, so I didn't want to just jump into it, man. I'm ready for it. No, that's it. I do have a question.

Wade Barnes

Have you guys been on the subreddit? I've decided to never look at the subreddit again. I've not been on it in a minute, but somebody tweeted me or something. Apparently someone came to my stream. I don't remember how.

They told me. They told me either on Twitter or via my stream, that apparently people are mad at me on the subreddit. I haven't looked, but is that I didn't know if that was true. Mad at you. The subreddit's never been mad at me, but, like, someone told me they were.

Mark Fischbach

I have been. I do watch it. I have not really seen a meaningful amount of anyone being bothered by you on the subreddit. So there was that whole thing, which I apologize for previously, where I gave you a bunch of shit about being constantly seeking pity and blah, blah, blah. And.

Wade Barnes

Yeah, so I broke my furnace to get more. There were. There was one post I saw where someone was like, you know what? Bob's right. Wade complains about everything.

Mark Fischbach

What a whiner. And I was like, thank you for having my back subreddit. One person on the subreddit. But otherwise, no, they're all completely on your side. Still.

Wade Barnes

I 100% am a whiner, but I'm also usually 100% justified. Have you guys ever had to replace a fucking furnace? Or is it just me? Yeah, not. Not at the last place we live, but that.

The. The first house we ever bought, we had to replace the whole h vac system. Yeah, see, we didn't. The first house Molly and I lived, and we had to replace it, but we did have, like, the coldest day of the year. We had if someone come work on it, and, like, Molly was working somewhere else at that time, so she got to leave home to go to work, whereas, like, I was at home, like, covered in blankets with a space heater that was like.

I think it was a propane space here that was just in the room working. And I don't know if that's safe to run in a closed space, but it was. I'm sure those fumes were fine, but it was freezing fucking cold. Trying to, like, record YouTube videos. We didn't replace the furnace.

They just had to come, like, replace a part on it. But somehow, like, since then, whenever something goes wrong, it's never fixable. It's always like, oh, you gotta replace it. I was like, you can't just, like, change a part. Now I gotta replace the whole thing.

Why is nothing meant to fix a part? This is an incredibly deep conversation I don't think any of us are prepared to answer. It would take take hours and hours to discuss how the slow erosion. Are we getting into the right to repair? Are we discussing right to repair laws?

Mark Fischbach

We could. Is that. Is that the topic, Wade? Yeah, man. Um, yeah.

No, I mean, it's conspicuous. You're right, Wade. Why can't anything ever be fixed anymore? You would think that a part that goes out on a furnace. Like, oh, this is the most common thing to go wrong.

Wade Barnes

Then why is it the part that you replaced? Why did they replace the whole thing? Like, yep. Those white pipes. Gotta replace them.

Mark Fischbach

Why? Cause they go bad. Did you ask why? Internally, externally, I was just defeated, man. What do you mean?

Wade Barnes

What I mean was, inside I was dead and sad. Outside, I was just like, okay, I've just come to terms that whenever someone tells me something needs replaced, at this point, it's like, why argue? Why ask? Just do it. I'm not gonna give God the satisfaction of being disappointed out loud.

I remember. I remember I was at a confused store. That reminds me, this guy asked me to pay, and he goes, like, cash or credit? And I go, credit? And hold up my credit card, and he goes, debit.

Bob Muyskens

And I'm like, debit it is. I'm not gonna ask why. What the hell? He's like filing his teeth with a knife. Debit.

Wade Barnes

It was. It was delivered with such an inflection, like, I don't understand why it was. I angered him in some way because I was just like, hold up my car. But credit. And he, damn it.

Mark Fischbach

Wrong. Cash your credit. Credit. Wrong. He is actually.

That was actually the guy from no country for old men. Heads. Heads or tails, friendo. Apparently the answer was David, that there's. A couple scenes in that movie that are just so tense for no reason.

Wade Barnes

Well, there is a reason, but, like, God, the scene. I think you're talking about the gas station. Yes. Yeah. I hated every second of it.

I love, hated it. Yeah. That movie is a masterstroke. It's excellent. You know what's interesting is a lot of that movie doesn't even have music.

Mark Fischbach

I consider music to be a big part of a lot of movie experiences. And, like, it adds to and in a lot of ways, makes certain scenes and certain movies like what they are. But a lot of the movie just has no music whatsoever. But it's still, like, excellent. Not that I'm a cinema person, but it's a good movie.

Wade Barnes

Well, none of us really know too much about movies here, but I don't. Want to talk about it. This episode is brought to you by shipstation. If you run an e commerce business, you know how much work it takes to produce something great while dealing with complicated shipping issues. Thats why over 130,000 companies have turned to shipstation, an innovative tool that allows you to focus less on shipping and more on building your brand.

Mark Fischbach

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What were we talking about? Oh, right, to repair. Yeah, right, to repair laws. What a topic. This is a bold take.

Bob Muyskens

It's a bold topic. Wade, I applaud your efforts for leading the charge on this discussion. Looking at this, like, sheet that I prepared with like a whole bunch of stuff on it that I haven't looked at one time. But, you know, it's just like my death off episode. I'll just have to wait till the next time I host.

Wade Barnes

Every time I host now, my topic gets pushed off to the next. Next time I host. I'm the small talk guy nowadays. Bob, anything else you want to share? You got some stuff you want to save?

Nah. What is happening today? I got my 3d printers over there out of the shot. It's a cheap 3d printer, and I'm having some trouble with the bed not heating very well. I don't know if it's an element problem or if it's the material itself, but I was having trouble with adhesion, first layer adhesion.

Mark Fischbach

And so I bought, I just bought a cheater stick of 3d print glue, which everyone online endlessly mocks, is like, oh, if you need glue, then you just suck. Look, I've tweaked the settings every which way. I think my bed is either broken or just a cheap piece of shit. I need glue because I can't get a print to adhere to the bed to save my ass. I don't know why people are mocking for glue.

Bob Muyskens

I thought that was standard procedure. The 3d printing community is very like. It'S, it's a little bit like elitist gatekeepy, but a lot of people who are, like, really big in it are like, look, you don't need glue. You just need to dial in your setting. If you, if you're using glue, it just means that you have it, like, totally sorted out your setup.

Mark Fischbach

And I'm like, look, unless there's some magical knob on my printer I'm unaware of, the options I have are bed temperature up, bed temperature down. None of that has worked for shit. So I'm going with glue. But that means I'll be printing some stuff soon. So you, you know, everyone loves that.

Wade Barnes

That's cool. That doesn't bring a quick. This might not be a quick question, but why do communities get so gatekeepy? Mobile game communities that I've been a part of in the past, gaming communities in general, movie communities, like, you name it. There's like, anime communities.

There's people that are just like, oh, look at this person. They're new. They don't know that you can't use glue. What an idiot. I think people just like to feel superior.

Bob Muyskens

That's, that's the answer in any way that you can. If you feel like you know something about this topic or you. You're better at something than other people, even if they're new. Like, whatever it is, is, it's just not another opportunity to be like, I'm better than that idiot who doesn't even. They're using glue.

Wade Barnes

It gets so stupid. Like, if you're not a part of the community and you see some of this outrage, like, I play Dragon Ball Z Dokon. It's like the one mobile game I play. There's a community, like, when you build a unit, you have a choice. You can either give them additional where they have a chance to attack again.

You can give them crit where they can critical hit and do more damage in that one hit, or you can give them dodge where they have less chance of being hit. And someone was like, building a unit. They're like, yeah, I went with some more dodge. I didn't really put much critical. And someone was like, this guy doesn't.

Mark Fischbach

Want his unit to get hit. He could have given him crit, it would have done more damage. But he put dodge. And it's like, you read that and even someone who plays the game, it's like, this is the dumbest fucking shit to feel superior about I've ever seen in my life. Hey, you take what you get.

I think it's hard. It's hard to have a thing that you feel like you know more about or are better at than other people, because lots of people are really good at shit. So I imagine a guy with a crowd of people behind him, like, looking back, like, dude, look. Look at this guy. Look at him.

Wade Barnes

He doesn't want his unit. Come on, mock him. Tomatoes. And it's just like the dumbest reason. Yeah, it's.

Bob Muyskens

It's social status. This is a, this is definitely a deeper conversation for other things, but it's like, that's kind of just how humans are, is like, they, they want to have a social hierarchy. There's an instinctive need for a social hierarchy. In any kind of group of people. And there's an instinctive need for humans, and probably other animals, too, to establish that hierarchy and understand where people.

Mark Fischbach

Pecking order. Yeah. Is like a thing in nature. Right? Like, and for a lot of people, the easiest, fastest way to establish their own status, at least not being at the bottom, is to quickly target someone else to be at the bottom so that they're not at the bottom, because it's just like, it's kind of the middle of the pack often fights for those roles.

Bob Muyskens

And there was, like. There was a study where it was. It was in competitive online shooters, right. I'm not sure if it was caller duty or not. It was a study, or was it just, like, anecdotal where they found that mid status males would mock female players, but high status males didn't?

And oftentimes, the mid status males would, like, have extreme appeasement behaviors towards the high status males, and they would often attack, like, you know, female players. And this is, like, a very common thing, and it's not good, but there was this weird hierarchy there where, like, the ones perceived as, like, higher status males didn't attack anybody and weren't, like, mean to the female players, but the middle status were, and they were mean to everybody, and they caused most of the problems in all these lobbies. So. So if you. If you're a low status person in these lobbies, you are the one who are making fun of everybody.

Wade Barnes

I'm curious, what. What defines your status in the lobby as high, mid, or low? I don't know. I'm not 100% sure. I just thought it was hilarious.

Mark Fischbach

I mean, in that sort of setting, I'm sure it's very complicated, but your. Kill death ratio, it's just. Your kill death ratio? Yeah. Well, it's perceived skill level, right?

Like, regardless of objective success, it's. It has to do with, like, how good you seem, how good people assume you are based on how you. I mean, that. That probably is what it is, because if you're in the middle of the pack in terms of skill, then you have to single out other people. Be like, don't look at me.

Look at them. Who's bad? And, like, an easy target would probably be, like, a female player in there. I might have only had four kills, but they had 17 deaths. Yes.

Get them. Not that I'm trying to make any generalizations here, but. No. Yes. But generally, I think my favorite in this sort of discussion, like you said, marcus, nuanced and complicated and whatever, this is a very shallow dive into it.

I think my favorite part is I always imagine people who are, like, making posts or being that person who's mocking or targeting someone. They always imagine that they're, like, the person at the front, and they're like, look how stupid they are. And everyone behind them is like, yeah, but it's actually one person who's like, look how stupid they are. And the whole pack of everyone else is like, how stupid they are. And it's like a weird chain of, like, all the middling idiots all pointing fingers at each other, Spider man meme style.

Bob Muyskens

I mean, that is what it is. That's. That's human society. All right, well, we'll talk about that. More depth on another one.

Wade Barnes

I'm gonna wrap this one up. No, we won't. Don't make promises we're never gonna keep. What? No, it's just like, you're putting things in your mouth episode.

Bob. It's gonna happen eventually. Just everyone hold your breath. Why would you bring that up? Cut that up.

Mark Fischbach

Bleep that. Censor that. They're not doing that ever. We literally brought it up two episodes episodes ago. What do you mean?

Wade Barnes

Um, all right, let me tabulate the points here. Thank you, guys for joining. He's doing it. He's doing it. What a low status thing to do.

Mark Fischbach

Love me. Begging for love. Low. Low. Mark, you just lost a point for mocking me.

I wasn't. Was marking him. Oh, shit. Mark, you just gained a point. Mark, firing insults must be at me.

Wade Barnes

So let's see. Mark, you have poop points, vision points, sad eclipse points, balloons, concern, and low status. You gained a point. Okay, good. You did lose a point for hating the moon.

So you have. 510, 1514. You have 14 points.

Mark Fischbach

That was the moon point. Comedic way to total them up. 510, 1514. 510, 815. 13.

1814. Bob, you're really close to losing a point for making fun of my point. I was mocking mark. Oh, plus a point for Bob. Bob, you have hot, which I think is hot tub sick for being sick.

Wade Barnes

You have eclipse points. You both got eclipse points for different reasons. You got pro moon point. I just wrote the word great, right? To repair and.

Ooh, gross. Don't lick. I guess when you put the salt water in your mouth. Oh, sure. 510.

15. Well, now you have 16 because you marked Mark. You mock mocked mark for me to say it's an a. 16. So 16 to 14.

Bob. Wolf. So, Bob, even though we're all always winners here, you continue the trend of not losing. Did I officially concede that at some point. I don't remember that.

Mark Fischbach

That didn't happen then. Well, it feels good to win. As per usual, I really love the topic in today's episode. I feel like we dove deep into it. You're walking a fine line here, mister.

Did an excellent job exploring every facet of the topic and leaving no stone unturned. I just want to commend Wade for a great episode. You set us up for success. And then Mark and I hit out of the park. My home run just went slightly farther than Mark's, but really, we're all winners here.

Great hosting job, host. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Mark, you have a. Yeah.

Bob Muyskens

I just wanted to say if I was going to lose an episode, I'm glad it was this one because this probably had the most engaging topic and the most hard fought battle. I felt like we were going toe to toe there the entire time. I think that we covered the breadth, the full depth and breadth of this topic. And I just gotta commend Bob for being an excellent competitor. It's always tough to lose one when I really put my everything in an episode like this.

But man, you, you above and beyond. Above and beyond. You know, maybe if your dog didn't shit on expensive things and you didn't lick salt water and I didn't have horrible house luck, we could have talked about something else, but we had shit going on to go over, man. People often accused you and I, Mark, of not engaging with Wade's topics. He'll throw some very well thought out, some deeply considered topic out there, and we'll just, just dodge it completely.

Mark Fischbach

We'll just go on our own tangents, talk about ourselves for the whole episode and we just, you know what? Today we played the game. We both played hard. And it was just an excellent episode, I think, all around, I think. So no one can disagree with that.

And no one could possibly accuse us of failing to engage with Wade's topic. Everything I threw out, you guys hit out of the park. You did a great job. We're all real winners here today. And I can feel the love.

Wade Barnes

You can find us online. Mark Markiplier, Bob Meister. Me. Minion seven. Seven.

Lord Minion 777. We have merch at distractable store.com. Yeah, say it like you mean it. I could refer. It was shop or store.

Mark Fischbach

Distractiblestore.com. Distractiblestore.com. Where we have great merch. Like a sock. Just one.

You gotta buy two. If you want a pair we could sell. That would be a fun item. The replacement sock for the socks that you're missing. It's just one, but it's gonna be some crazy design, so it definitely won't match any sock you have.

Well, it's not gonna match anyway, so it might as well really not match. Yeah, exactly. I like it. Stay tuned for the next one, where Bob will host, and I'm sure he'll have an actual topic, and I'll feel even further mocked for my failure to reign things in today. Stay tuned for that.

Wade Barnes

Who knows how many episodes in a row he'll have to host this time? We'll see. See. Until then, podcast out.

Chugging Hot Tub Water

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Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1. Introduction to the Episode

2. Wrestling and Entertainment

3. Hot Tub Misadventures

4. Maple Syrup Mystery

5. Concluding Thoughts

Actionable Advice

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