Bad Or Worse

Mark Fischbach
This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile. No more overpriced phone plans necessary. Big monthly bills, unexpected overages, expensive, expensive and outdated. Or you could stay outdated. Vintage is in.

Bob Muyskens
My old phone has the perfect patina of cheetos, dust and teenage stank. Okay, okay, I have a better option. Memobile for a limited time, they have wireless plans that include unlimited talk, text and data for just $15 a month. Upgrade your plan today at Mint Mobile for a limited time. Wireless plans for Mint mobile are $15 a month.

Mark Fischbach
When you purchase a three month plan, that's unlimited talk text to data for $50 a month. To get this new customer offer, go to mintmobile.com distractible. That's mintmobile.com dash ractible mintmobile.com distractible. Dollar 45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to dollar 15 a month.

Wade Barnes
New customers on first three month plan only slower above 40gb on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply seamen mobile for details. Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to distractable. This episode, Maverick Mark puts his pals through progressively painful places and paces weightless wage crumples boundaries on the basketball court, ponders alone and bird bashes a bride, bladder busting barb pimps his ride, fears not making it to the john, sucks on steel balls and blows up Bruce from deity slaying to interplanetary colonization. Yes, it's time for bad or worse.

Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Good evening and or morning and or afternoon to everyone who listens to this wonderful podcast, distractible. Go now. Tell your friends about it. Do it now before it's too late.

Bob Muyskens
Hey guys, I heard this new podcast that you should listen to. I don't know if you've heard of it. Go on. You're my only friends, so I'm telling you. Ah, thank you, thank you.

Wade Barnes
I was actually reminded of an episode that was just like people, you know, sometimes people on the subreddit will be like, what episode really makes you laugh? And I remembered illegal advice and you guys talking about shooting God and buckets full of wheelchairs. A ten gallon bucket of wheelchairs. So I listened to that one again recently and man, that was fucking fun. Man, we used to be funny.

That partially inspired today's episode, but it's not really in any way going to be related to that. So no one get their hopes up. It probably won't be anywhere nearly as funny. Legal in advice? How'd you guess?

It's a bad guess, actually. I'm gonna take away a point for a bad guess. Hit me again. Oh, it's this way. He's back.

Mark Fischbach
I'm tired, I'm grumpy, and I don't want your stinky point. But I'll give you a stinky point. I'm gonna give you one really stinky. Ah, you got a stinky point. Is there gonna be stink lines coming off of it?

Wade Barnes
I'm drawing stink lines, and there's a fly here. I hope at the end you can use that fly for an extra point. And, no, I don't think I will. I draw real good. He's not you.

I'm gonna give you one burn point. Yeah. Who won? No one yet. I thought we were gonna do a speed episode where we just started, ended, and it was all bamboo da boom.

Mark Fischbach
We might. I've. I've never had more prompts for an episode than this one here. I've got. I can't count.

Wow, that's so many. I wish you could count, Mark, I'm so sorry. Look how many you can't see, but look how many prompts I have. Holy crime freaking ready, boys. I have us in the tiny little rectangles.

So I saw all of your screen except for where any of the prompts were. Well, Bob has an unfair advantage because he saw a little preview of what's to come. Editors don't show it. Why do you have us in tiny rectangle? What's the point of seeing each other if you're not gonna look at us?

Well, it's like. It's the vertical, like, tick tocky slivers, so I don't see, like, the wide angle. You can change that. Yeah, but then it gets too much. Oh, okay, never mind.

Bob Muyskens
I don't want it to be too much for you. All right. Okay. All right. I'll give you an honesty point.

Wade Barnes
That's good. There's only one honesty point per episode, and I think you're gonna get that one. Honesty. Yeah, I'm probably gonna be honest. Oh, that was a lie.

Mark Fischbach
Dishonesty point. Nah, nah. I got a feeling there's gonna be even deeper dishonesty. I'm gonna shoot whoever I. God, I'm gonna shoot whoever I got.

Bob Muyskens
You better not be. My God. I was like, I was gonna. I was like, I'm gonna shoot God for making math too hard for mark. I was like, oh, I already made that joke.

Mark Fischbach
I gotta think of something else. I better shoot whoever God. And it didn't really come out good. Keep going. I'm gonna curse whoever made math too much for market account prompts.

Good. That's great. That's great, Bob. You've won the right to start small talk. Guys, I know everyone's gonna be very excited about this, and especially the viewers.

Bob Muyskens
I ordered more parts for my car. I think I talked about how it's summertime now, and I have. I have gold wheels that I'm gonna. I need to get the tires mounted on, but I'm gonna put those on gold wheels. And if you wanted to google it, they're gold.

Nk t's ten s. They're like, thin spoked wheels that. It's a. It's a classic Subaru look. The.

The iconic Subaru WRX look is the blue, which mine is with gold rally rims on it. And so my rims are not high end rally rim. My rims are honestly really cheap, but it's the look. Are you a pimp? No, it doesn't look like a pimp car.

It looks like a nerdy car. Douchebag car, if I'm honest. Like weird al in that song. White and nerdy? No.

Kind of. But no gig. No igh. But also, I ordered carbon fiber, a carbon fiber lip and a carbon fiber spoiler. It's not really a spoiler.

What's it called? It's okay. I'm never going to play that game. You can tell us. And also a carbon fiber roof spoiler, which goes at the top of your rear window.

Guys, it's coming together. I know. Everyone always loves my car updates, and I. When I get all this stuff installed, I'm definitely taking some pictures, and I will share. I'll put on the subreddit for everyone who appreciates it and gets really excited for me.

Is this how you feel when you talk about lenses, Mark? The blank stares and the palpable disappointment? No, I'm excited. I'm listening. I'm listening.

Wade Barnes
No, Wade's disappointed because he thinks, like, we glossed over his spoiler joke. Wade, we both got it. No, no, no. It's something you glossed over. It's that I found it hilarious, and you guys didn't laugh at all.

Bob Muyskens
I got it. I'm just in the middle of something here. No one will ever find me as funny as I do, and it's just tragic. Well, you weren't even laughing, Wade. Duckbill.

Spoiler. That's what I was trying to think of a word. Duckbill. Spoiler is what it's called that I got. Got any crepes?

Yeah. See? No. Good job, Wade. Oh, and I also got an armrest extension.

Cause the armrest in my car is really low. It's a JDM armrest extension, which means it's from Japan. Wow. Did you guys hear about the Cybertruck's gas pedal extension? Dude, it's so sick.

It has a second cruise control, and this one is not automatic or smart at all. It just goes, baby. It just goes. That's all you need. I didn't know they came with those race mode pedals.

Mark Fischbach
Yeah. For those who don't know, the cybertrucks had a stop sell order, I believe, because the gas pedal. I saw a video of someone demonstrating the COVID on the top of the gas pedal with, like, the anti grip. Or the grip stick part of it. It comes off super easy.

Wade Barnes
And the way, if you looked at the bottom, where the foot space is of the driver's seat, there's a little lip under the front of the floor where it goes into, like, the front of the car and the electrical components going there, where that perfectly fits the tapered tip of the gas pedal cover. So if it slides off and you're pushing forward, it'll push the thing forward right into that little thing. Wedge the gas pedal down on full throttle just like you want. And if you don't know what happened and you can't look down because you're going full throttle on wherever you are, and those things, you know, it's an electric engine. It go, it goes.

It'll go. That's one thing you can't say about it. It doesn't go, it goes. I saw some people, and I think this is just people who are not car people online who are like, why are there covers on the pedals? Why not just make.

Bob Muyskens
This is a very common thing. Lots of cars have a cover plate on the pedals for aesthetic reasons. That's not the thing that's weird about this. That's very common. The thing that's weird is that if you haven't seen the video, basically, the pedal is mounted to the floor.

So instead of some pedals are mounted to the, like, the top of the foot area, this one's mounted to the bottom. Right? So it, like, swings, the top swings. And Mark was describing how it'll get wedged. Basically, the thing that's weird is that it's the area is designed in a way where it creates a wedge that holds the pedal down.

The covers on the pedals. Not weird. I saw people talk about that. I kept thinking, and I think everyone thought this, but I feel like I'm one of the only ones who doesn't say out loud that I still hate the cybertruck. Like, I think a lot of people, even people who own it, saw it and were kind of like, ooh, I don't know.

That's crazy. It looks kind of ugly. But then it came out, and now all these people, especially people who own it, post these videos where they'll. It looks so much cooler in person. And I got it wrapped, so mine's matte black cybertruck instead of shiny aluminum or whatever, stainless steel or whatever it is, blah, blah, blah.

I still think it just looks fucking awful. Am I alone in this? Or they've got, like, Stockholm syndrome. They bought it, now they regret it. They're like, no, I actually love it.

I mean, that must be it. Cause I I haven't seen anything about it. Even reviews, like, where it's like, close up videos. It's ugly. It's just fucking ugly.

And all those people. It looks like a PlayStation one, like, car that someone designed in, like, a half priced game. They can only afford to put ten pixels on the car, and that's what they came up with. I just wanted to put that out there because I've. Since before launch, I feel like a lot of people memed on it, and I was like, yeah, it is ugly.

And after launch, even a bunch of reviewers who have some negative things to say about it because, like, it has terrible visibility in the front, and the big giant windshield is really weird. And they were like, ah, but it looks so cool, doesn't it? And I'm just like, no, no, it looks really ugly. Looks like a big triangle box strolling around it. If you think it's ugly, let me know.

And if you like it, shut up. I'm not interested in your opinion on that. But it is also funny. It was a stop sale order, which is, like a ridiculous thing that doesn't happen to normal auto manufacturers, and they're not recalling them. Well, the solution is to pop the little plate off, because then it's fine.

It's to stupid problem that just creates an incredibly dangerous scenario. Uh huh. Good thing that thing's not enormous. Good thing it doesn't turn into a horrible battering ram of pure steel. Good thing it's not shaped like an actual bullet and made of such rigid stainless steel that the Crumple zone is about an inch and a half.

Mark Fischbach
Uh, and my good small talk? I got you one, Wade. Go on. What were you about to do, Wade? No, carry on what you were about to do, Wade.

Uh, thanks. I've also got some small talk. No, no, no, I can tell the disdain was there. I was just saying pop for his. Small talk, and I was turning it over to you and you were already going down the path.

I'll give you. Mine's one point for going down the path. I wasn't this time. He was. He was.

Wade Barnes
You saw it going. I think he thought that. I thought he was gonna skip me, but I didn't think he was gonna skip me. You did think I was gonna skip. I could tell.

Bob Muyskens
I could tell. Going down the path. No, I was scrolling through pictures of the cyber truck. You were going down the path. I heard it.

Wade Barnes
I heard it in. Look, man, as someone who already told you to take points away for me today, I'm not gonna switch gears now. I heard it in the tone. Everyone on the subreddit, you heard it too. You heard it.

Editors, amplify his audio. Play it again. And mine. There was a weird. Thanks.

Mark Fischbach
Because there's a picture here of the weird fucking plate extender thing that they're putting on the gas pedal and it looks ridiculous. That was a little harsh, Mark, I gotta say. Usually with you, but no, that was totally. I could tell. I could tell.

Bob Muyskens
I could tell. I didn't read the same situation that you did. I gotta say, with that. You know what, Mark? Thanks, bitch.

Mark Fischbach
Fuck you for thinking that. I thought that you thought you were gonna skip me. And I hope you eat the most unwiped asshole, you sick fuck. Damn. I think that's a new insult.

I hope you choke on it, and then you go to the hospital, and. Then I have to remove turd nugget. From your throat that you choked on. There you go. Is that what you wanted for my small talk?

It's wholesome. All right, I'll give you a point for that. That's impressive. There's this. I found this.

Bob Muyskens
I'm not stealing your small talk weight. I just TikTok update. Cause I know people like that too. Oh, it's cool. It's your turn to talk.

Mark Fischbach
Go for it. I found a TikTok channel where the guy just does insults that are confusing. Like, you can't tell if they're good or not. Yours was clearly pretty insulting. But I love the idea of, like, insults where you can't tell if it's an insult.

Bob Muyskens
Like, you just. You're fighting with someone. You're like, dude, you look like someone whose mom buys Krispy kremes at the grocery store. Cause that's probably an insult, right? Is it?

Wade Barnes
Can't go to the can't wait in line at the drive thru for the Krispy Kreme. Can't believe it. You look like the kind of person who uses self checkout. Oh, shit. You look like the kind of person who gets four hour energy.

Bob Muyskens
Cause five is too much. I can't tell if that's offensive, but it feels good to say. Anyway. Do your small talk, Wade. Yeah, Wade, what's your small talk?

Mark Fischbach
So my nephews came by and we played basketball for, like, two or 3 hours outside. And it's like, the second or third time this year I've actually, like, played basketball, and I hadn't played really at all in years. Like, I still have some of my ability to, like, dribble, and I think I still have my form, but, my God, does the ball not consistently go where I want it to go anymore? Cause I'll shoot. I'm like, yeah, good form.

Swish. Yeah, good form. Over the backboard. Yeah, good form. 3ft short.

Yeah, good form. 2ft to the left. Can I say, literally right before we got out to record this, I was. I think it was Molly posted some stuff on Instagram, and one of them was a video of you guys playing basketball or something. And I was like, oh, who is that?

Bob Muyskens
I don't know who that is, but it's you. And, like, your nephews are in, like, jeans and, like, normal clothes, and you're out there looking like a basketball guy, and you have, like, your air jordans on and they're all, like, messing around, and they pass the ball to you and you look so official, and you're just like. And the ball just goes, whoa, 2ft short, right off the post where that thing where it hits and it rolls. Away at full speed, the whole clip. I'm like, oh, look at Wade.

Oh, he looks. And then the ball's just like, boing. That's the way it is. Getting back into it, man. It, like, caught me off guard, cuz.

He look like, you look like a basketball guy. Like, you got the shorts, you wearing a sleeveless shirt. You look like you. Did he dribble between the legs? Did he do that?

No, but he, like, he looks so cool, right? Like, they throw you the ball and you're just like, oh, casual. Like, oh. Like, you look like you would play best. And then it was just such a.

It was such a perfect. Like, it's wild. Because, like, that's the. I don't know what part of your brain you have to train for that, but, like, whenever you learn to play basketball, they teach you to keep your elbow in like, some people shoot, like, your elbow goes out. You want to keep your elbow tucked in.

Mark Fischbach
So it's like, I'm trying to, like, do those things. Like, the small, like, things I remember about, like, okay. I don't want to get into bad habits. I'm trying to learn to play again. Gotta, like, do all the right things.

I'll either swish where it, like, hits the bottom of the net. Like, you're watching, like, steph curry warm up, and it's like, you hear that lovely noise, like, the swoosh. Swoosh. And it's like, dude, I'll hit two of those in a row. And it's like, all right, all right.

I'm feeling it. And then the next shot will hit the top of the backboard and go flying into the woods. And it's like, I swear I'm doing the same thing. Yeah. Then sometimes I'll completely fall.

Like, I'll shoot the same shot ten times, and there'll be four makes two will swish in, two will bank in, and then two or three will be just wildly in some weird direction that doesn't make sense. And then two or three fall, like, completely short, like, barely hit the pole. And then it's like, I feel like I'm doing the same thing. Why am I getting such drastically different results? But I'm less worried about that.

It's more so, like, just trying to get into basketball shape again. Because the muscles you use when you're playing, like, I think any sport are very different than, like, when you work out or when you walk or do this or that. Can I also say, wade, you're absolutely right. Cause the only. Aside from watching you playing basketball, whatever.

And I. And it made me chuckle. Cause. And you missed the shot and whatever. Like, very funny.

Well, it's just. It was just such a perfect, like, whiff. It was just very funny. Which Molly definitely chose and posted on very on purpose. Cause I'm sure she had.

Bob Muyskens
I'm sure she had videos of you making plenty of shots. There were some good shots. Yeah, there were a couple, like, three pointers or half court shots. The main thought I had when I saw you, I was like, man, he looks good. God, his knees, though.

Wade Barnes
What did they look like? Well, they looked fine. But I'm just imagining, like, we're definitely at that age where if you're not in pretty good shape and then you try and play a sport like that, you just gotta. You gotta be careful. And maybe that's just how I feel.

Bob Muyskens
Cause I'm out of shape, but, like, we're approaching the age of problems. If you're not keeping up with. It's like, we're at the age where you have to keep up to maintain your athleticism and an injury potential. We're not at the age where that's a default yet, because that. That does happen down the road, but I'd like to defend us just a little bit, guys.

Well, I. You guys are way more in shape than I am, too. So it's like, it's a. It's a function of the fact that I'm not athletic, and I'm not. I don't play any sports, but, like, that was my thought internally.

I was like, God, I hope his knees are okay. For a few years after I stopped playing, my knees bothered me a lot. Like, doing stairs and stuff actually bothered my knees a lot. I would say the last, like, three or four years, I feel like they've hurt less. Either that or I've just become numb to it.

Mark Fischbach
But playing, like, so many years of basketball outside, like, on a blacktop cord or, like, concrete instead of, like, you know, the indoor, properly made gymnasiums probably didn't help. I will say yesterday, I decided to try to, like, do a couple of layups, and I tried to, like, go up and grab the rim and just see how high I could still jump. I used to be able to dunk the basketball, and I can't palm a ball like, that's as far apart as my fingers spread. Like, they just do not spread very far. So in order to dunk, I either had to two hand it or I had to, like, pin the ball between my hand and, like, my wrist, and, like, I could get up to here or so on the rim, which isn't that impressive, but, like, it's enough to where I could get the ball, get it in there.

So yesterday, I was like, I wonder how my vertical still is. Let's go. Oh, boy. So I ran up to, like, just try to see how high I could get up on the rim, and I ended up grabbing it. I don't know if you can see.

This might not show. I've got, like, a little red dot here and, like, a couple of lines on my fingers here where I grabbed the rim. I don't know what that's called, but if you first start, like, blisters, maybe blisters or something, like, you know, where you, like, burst the little blood vessels a little bit. Like, I grabbed the rim one time, and then I landed, and my hand didn't bother me. I just noticed that afterward.

But, like, that's. That's as high as I can get now is, like, here. Whereas I used to be, like, down here. So I've lost, like, eight inches of my vertical. But I will say I landed from that jump attempt, and my knees didn't bother me, but my whole body was like, oh, my God, what are you doing?

Something about putting all of that effort into getting as high as I can than landing. I was like, all right, let's see what I got. Because I used to do that just over and over. It's like whenever I was trying to dunk, it was like, try to dunk, fail, try to dunk that, try to dunk, fail. And I would just keep going on repeat for what felt like half an hour.

I did one big jump where I put everything I had into my legs, and I landed, and my whole body was just, like, in fucking red alert mode where it was like, sit. Water. Get this, man. Water. Oxygen.

We've never needed this before. What do we do? He's putting in effort. He's putting in effort. Oh, God, I feel my reaction of man.

Bob Muyskens
I hope he's okay. Feels very vindicated right now. One jump, and I was like, you guys shoot for a while. I'm gonna go stand in the shade with my water bottle. I don't hurt nearly as bad today as I did the first time I played basketball a little while ago.

Mark Fischbach
So this third time playing, it's like, okay, my body's at least being able to handle it. I was outside shooting for, like, two or 3 hours. The first time, it was, like 30 minutes. And, like, the next day, I could, like, barely move any of my body because of soreness. Now it's like I was out there shooting around for a couple of hours, and it's like, do I feel it a little bit?

Yeah, a little, but nothing too crazy. Am I in shape or, like, do I have good endurance? No, but it's at least progress. It's the first time I've had progress in, like, a sport or exercise in a long time. So it's a baby step, but despite the horrible airball or three times that, I overshot the ball, and it ended up, like, in the woods or wherever else.

Might not be a consistent shooter, but the rest of me is getting there. And Bird, who we, I think we insulted last episode for something. He and Tyler and I played. We played 21, which, if you don't know what 21 is, you try to get the 21 via shooting. There's only one, three points allowed to be made.

Otherwise, it's two pointers and free throws. And if you. If the ball hits the rim and balances off and you jump and you tip it before your feet hit the ground, you send the person back to zero. Or if they get past 13, they go back to 13. It's like the save point was really fun.

Played that in probably, like, twelve years. It feels good to be back playing basketball again. And it's something I did a lot growing up that I hadn't done since my first or second year of, like, college or something, or right after college. So it feels good to be playing it again. Cause it's been so long.

Wade Barnes
Anyway, it's time for the episode. I can't have this all be small talk. Let's get down to the meat of the matter. Wait. You win the right to go first.

Mark Fischbach
Great. Welcome to bad or worse.

Bob Muyskens
Yeah. Music is playing right now.

Mark Fischbach
It's bad. Or is it worse? Oh, no, no. It's really bad. And also worse.

Wade Barnes
It's bad. Oh, it is so bad altogether now. It's bad or worse. All right, cool. Good.

Wait, I want you to name something that's worse than stubbing your toe. That's easy. Stubbing two toes, man. Is that your final answer? Well, hold on.

Bob Muyskens
How extreme do you want me to go? Do you want me to go, like. All right. Stubbing two toes. Bob, I want you to know.

Wade Barnes
Name something that is in between stubbing your toe and stubbing two toes. Wade played a really smart first move. God damn. It doesn't have to be related to. Toes, but it's got to be worse than stubbing one toe, but not as bad as stubbing two toes.

Mark Fischbach
I. Well, you know what? I feel like I might have something for this, specifically stepping on between three and six lego pieces that are all put together into one shape. So it's not like one little piece and it's not like a whole thing, but it's like a little chunk of legos. So you step and you step on it, like, right in the heart of your foot, right in your arch or something, and it breaks apart under your foot.

Bob Muyskens
And so I would say. I would say that said, definitely worse than stubbing your toe. But it's hard to judge if that's worse than two toes or not. The. The genius of Wade's play is that if you stub one toe versus two toes, it's almost a negligible difference because the pain is in the same space and it's accessing the similar nerves.

Wade Barnes
So it's definitely worth. But it's like, it's hard to discern how, like, that much worse between one and two. But I feel like stepping on six Lego bricks is much, maybe not much worse, but it definitely feels worse because it could fragment, the multiple pieces could dig in, it could be tall. That could really do some damage, especially to those tendons along the arch. So I'm giving way the point on this one for tow.

Bob Muyskens
Oh, you're overestimating the amount of damage Legos can do. I. The thing, what I was thinking was, the thing about Legos is it's a sharp pain, but it goes away quickly. That could cut your skin. What the hell kind of Legos are you playing with, man?

Wade Barnes
You got six. You said if it was just one, I would say like, oh, that's. It was six, like normal, you know, like two by threes or two by four. It's not like six enormous chunks of Lego. It's like a little.

Bob Muyskens
I'm just saying that it's not one piece of Lego. It's not like it's not gonna cut you your foot. How much callus do you have on your foot? My foot wouldn't be cut by Lego. The way that I'm judging this is, which one would I rather do?

Wade Barnes
Would I rather stub two toes or would I rather step on, sick. On a random assembly of six legos? There's an uncertainty to that, that I don't know what the assembly is. It could be quite. It could be shaped like a knife up in my arch.

If it's in the dark, no matter what you're wandering through the house, there's either Legos or a rogue coffee table. I feel like I would rather stub two toes, because I've done that and it has yet to break anything. It's always just been like, but if I step on six legos and then I step on, I go like, oh, no. Crack, smash. I feel like that could be some damage.

So I would rather stub two toes. I'd rather step on legos. Wait, I'll leave it to you, Wade. Which one do you think is worse? I think stubbing one toe is worse than the Legos.

Mark Fischbach
I don't think the Legos is in between. I think the Legos is better than even stubbing one toe. You'd rather step on Legos. Okay, so this, that also would put the point in your favor, because if it's. If it's actually not as bad as even stubbing a toe, then it doesn't fall in between.

Wade Barnes
It's got to fall in between. Yeah, but I mean, just for me personally, I stub my toes all the time and they bother me for like days or weeks after sometimes, especially the damn pinky toe. I stubbed my pinky toes so much and they hurt so bad every time. If you stub both your pinky toe, you didn't specify which toes. Like, you, you splay out with both legs and both pinky toes.

Bob Muyskens
No, dude, piggy toes are not Mandy. Not that recently, but at some point in the recent past, Mandy caught her pinky toe on, like the bed frame or something. It was like broken. It was like weeks. She had to wear a boot on her foot because she could.

It couldn't walk. It was really bad. I cracked that. So what I was going to say was stubbing a toe and breaking the toenail is in between. Because what I did was I stubbed my pinky toe and like, the nail cracked in half all the way down to the base.

Mark Fischbach
So I had to wait for it to grow out. And putting on socks, every time I put on a sock, it would, like, catch part of that nail and yank it and I would get, like, teary eyed every time. I think that's, oh, that's so bad. That sounds horrendous. All right, we got so many to get through.

Wade Barnes
There's plenty of points to be added. I'm giving away the point for tow. But, Bob, don't worry. There's so many opportunities here. This episode is brought to you by Mint Mobile.

Mark Fischbach
No more overpriced phone plans necessary. Big monthly bills, unexpected overages. Expensive. Expensive and outdated. Or you could stay outdated.

Wade Barnes
Vintage is in. My old phone has the perfect patina of cheetos, dust, and teenage stank. Okay, okay. I have a better option. Metmobile.

Mark Fischbach
For a limited time. They have wireless plans that include unlimited talk, text and data for just $15 a month. Upgrade your plan today at Met mobile for a limited time. Wireless plans for Met mobile are $15 a month when you purchase a three month plan, that's unlimited talk text to data for $50 a month. To get this new customer offer, go to mintmobile.com distractible.

That's mintmobile.com Dash R Dash B L E. Mint mobile.com distractible. $45 upfront. Payment required. Equivalent to dollar 15 a month.

Wade Barnes
New customers on first three month plan only. Speed slower above 40gb on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See mint mobile for details. Name something worse, Bob.

Name something worse than getting a paper cut. Getting two paper cuts. You can go for it. No? Okay, okay.

Bob Muyskens
No, I'm gonna play the game regular style. I don't want to be that guy. I would say picking up a stack of paper that's stapled together like a packet, but not knowing that the staple isn't bent over on the back. And so you, like, pick it up and the staple, like, stabs into your finger, but just a little. But, like, you pick it up and you're like, ah.

Mark Fischbach
And you're like. And you get one little drop of blood from the staple. That's. That is a good one because, yeah, I have had that happen before where it pierces the skin. I would say that that actually is worse than paper because what I do is I go tetanus.

Wade Barnes
How many rusty staples I have in this office, you know? All right, wait. Name something that's right. In between getting a paper cut and. Picking up a stapled stack of papers and it piercing your skin.

Mark Fischbach
I think when you get one of those, like, sores in your mouth, like, on your inner lip or whatever, like those little whatever they are. Like the little bumps that every now and then, like, almost not a pimple or whatever, but, like, cold sore. Like one of those cold sores in your mouth. There's two different types. I actually learned this recently.

Wade Barnes
There's. There's cold source, and then there's one that is on the. I forget what the. Does everyone get those? Because I'm just gonna put out there.

Bob Muyskens
I don't think I get those. I do maybe like two times a year. Right. There's canker sores versus cold sores. So there.

Wade Barnes
There's a difference between this. The one is mostly on the inside of the lip. That's a canker sore. A cold sore is a large blister on the exterior part of the lip. So you're kind of thinking of, like, canker sores.

Are you talking about the interior ones called canker sores? I think it's the one on the inside of the lip. That's a canker sore. Yeah. I feel like a paper cut.

Mark Fischbach
So the staple one's harder for me to imagine because I've not, like, pierced myself with something like that for a while. But a cold sore or canker sore, rather. I know whenever I get them, it's a similar sensation to, like, when you bother a paper cut, but I feel like it lasts a little bit longer, like a paper cut. I feel like you have one or two days of, like, fuck. But I feel like the canker sore, if that's what it is, it's like four or five days of, like, oh, God, that's sensitive.

Will that just go away? Because every time I go to eat or something, you move your teeth. It's like, oh, stop. Totally get you. But I feel like that's worse than picking up the staples, because it might be.

Wade Barnes
You said it lasted multiple days, so I'm giving Bob the point. I notoriously get them in a spot, like, on my fingers where I end up using them, and it's like I'll go to, like, click my mouse, or I'll go to. Go to grab something, and whatever I'm doing will just peel it back and, like, reopen it again. You don't put a band aid on it? No.

Mark Fischbach
Why not? That'll keep it from healing up. Those are for important, painful cuts. This is just a paper cut, you know. Well, you just said how bad.

Wade Barnes
All right, whatever. You know, what's the really. The really pro move? If it's a bad paper cut, you, like, take some, like, scissors from the first aid kit and trim the little skin flap, and then you put neosporin on it, and then you put a band aid. That bitch was gone.

Mark Fischbach
See, I don't know if those are sterile. So what I do is I put it in my very sterile mouth and bite the skin off. Hey. I mean, same difference. Licking your wounds has proven benefits to wound healing because the saliva in your mouth has, like, painkilling properties.

Wade Barnes
And they're. Even though there's a lot of bacteria in your mouth, they say in reality, your mouth being one of the entrances to the body, it has a high, like, antimicrobial and, like, immune system supporting mechanism. Good. So biting the skin off is good? No, that's not what I said.

Bob Muyskens
Science says it's good. Good work, Wade. Lick your wounds. Bite your skin. Wait.

Wade Barnes
Name something worse than missing the bus. This could be school bus. Missing any bus. It's not fun. First thing I can think of is being late for work, because bus, I think, miss the.

Mark Fischbach
Missing the bus. Think, like, okay, y'all might be late for school, or my parents have to drive me. It's a whole thing, being late for work. I feel like it's a whole nother ballgame because there's long. There's more long term consequences.

It's a similar thing, because, like, you're likely to be late. Missing the bus doesn't necessarily mean you're gonna be late. It just means you have to find another inconvenient way to get there. Now there's more ways than ever because you can call, like, an uber or a lyft. But if you are just in fact late for work, one, you're gonna like, your boss is not gonna be very happy.

And you'll probably get like a warning if it happens multiple times. Two, if you have like appointments or shit to do. Like, I feel like it's a different thing. Similar, but different. Cause missing the bus may make you late, but if you're definitely late, that is worse than just missing the bus.

Missing the bus is inconvenient. Being late for work is like consequence. Bob, that's a narrow window. Name something in between missing the bus and full on being late for work. Desperately needing the bathroom at work.

Bob Muyskens
Theoretically you're totally free to go use it, but you have to make it from wherever your desk is, from wherever the count, the, you know, whatever your station is at work. If you're at a warehouse or if you're at like a register or whatever, you have to make it from there into the bathroom without encountering a customer or a person who needs something from you. And it's like, you're fine, right? You're gonna make it. But the whole trip to the bathroom, you're like, oh, I gotta go.

And you're like living in constant fear of like, God, I hope Dave doesn't stop me. No, I don't have time. Because you can't, if someone comes up to you, you can't be like, I just gotta take a quick shit and I'll be right back. And then we can deal with, if someone comes up to you, they're like, hey, did you, can you send me that? Whatever.

And you're like, yeah, yeah, no that's fine. Yeah. If you're like stuck in traffic or in a meeting or something like that kind of situation where you just can't get to the bathroom, well that's like. Might pee your pants. Like, I'm not, it's not that bad.

Mark Fischbach
Even. That's not as bad as being late for work, probably. All right, all right, hold on, I. Need specification because do you need to take a shit? Is it just your bladder is about to explode?

Wade Barnes
Because if you have your bladder full, there is kind of the relief part of it, you know, there's nothing better than the feeling of just like, oh my goodness, finally I'm gonna say you're not like sick. It's not like you have diarrhea, but it could be either. Or maybe your coffee just caught up to you or something. It's not like you're going, you're going to be ill, but it is like, you desperately need to get to the bathroom, and then you'll be fine. You're in the sims and suddenly you've got three red arrows going.

This on your bladder meter is like Utah baba deepa. I actually ran into this situation just a little bit ago because yesterday I needed to get something handed off in terms of like, the edit, and I had to go to the bathroom really badly, but I couldn't go immediately because I'm like, I need to get this to the point where it can start rendering and then I can go. But I needed like another hour to get it done. I'm like, oh my God, or not an hour. It was like just enough time that I was like, I don't know.

However, when you're late for work, there's consequences. And I feel like that is a little bit worse because there are consequences to that if you're, it's just an inconvenience for needing to go to the bathroom. And in the same way I'm missing the bus is inconvenience, but there's no real pain to it or discomfort. It's just like, ah, well, it depends, right? Cuz like, I'm not saying you're wrong and giving Bob the point, but it depends because the bathroom is a higher intensity, shorter term thing, whereas the bus is like, how long does it take to get there?

Mark Fischbach
How long does it take to get your ride? Is someone pissed off at you later for either being late or inconveniencing them to make you drive, get drive you or the money you spend on a ride. So it's a smaller intensity, but can be longer term. It's hard to compare those two things. I don't care if you get Bob the point, but it is hard to compare.

Wade Barnes
But because we, we're specifying between the uncertainty of being late and the certainty of being late. That's the window. It really is like, there's no uncertainty about a bathroom need there. It's a need. No, no, I'm just saying.

Mark Fischbach
Which is the bathroom need even less than the bus? Like those two, those are the two I could flip flop. I don't think so. And I'm gonna give him, it's a, it's a real narrow window, but I think he threaded that needle. I really do.

Bob Muyskens
I'm excellent at this game, obviously. All right, Bob, here's one for you. Name something worse than forgetting to charge. Your phone overnight, setting the very important alarm that you needed to set for pm instead of am. Oh, and then you wake up 45 minutes after you meant to.

And you're lucky. And you're like, alarm. And the alarm is like, like, 07:30 p.m.. Bro, I'm waiting. God.

Wade Barnes
The worst thing now is that the alarm has a separate volume than anything. And I'm like, why? Why would you allow alarms not to always be full blast? That's why I set an alarm. A reminder.

Mark Fischbach
Sure. A reminder is, like, gently remind. I don't need a tornado siren every time I have a reminder. But it's like, if I set an alarm that's urgent. And why is that a separate volume control?

Bob Muyskens
I'm so confident and also so uncomfortable right now. Cause I didn't go pee in between the break we just had that I don't need to defend my position, and I'm gonna let Wade talk about it while I go pee. It's okay. I'm probably gonna, like, prevent defending position just to get through more, but go ahead. Yeah.

Wade Barnes
All right, Wade, thread that needle. Between forgetting to charge your phone and accidentally setting the wrong pm or am on an alarm, Bob has been, like. Going outside of the box and all of these, and I want to commend him for that because mine, although all, I think over, like, the same situation. But I literally had this situation recently where I didn't forget to plug my phone in and I set my alarm correctly. However, fun thing about phone cords.

Mark Fischbach
Hey, Bob. I'm just now answering because. Did you just vomit keys? Nothing. What?

Bob Muyskens
Nothing happened. Nothing happened, I guess. Nothing happened. Forgetting to plug your phone in versus the alarm. I did the dumb thing where I set my alarm correctly.

Mark Fischbach
I plugged my. What's in your mouth? Nothing. Open your mouth. Nothing.

I plugged my phone in, I set my alarm, and at one point, I went to put my phone down, and I actually, like, missed the side table, and it fell on the floor, and I grabbed it, picked it back up, set it down, went to sleep. I woke up and, uh, to the knocking on my door, and I was like, why did my alarm wake me up? And I looked, and my phone was dead, and I was like, the hell? So whenever my phone fell on the floor, what it did was it yanked out that USB part and unplugged it. So my phone didn't charge overnight, despite me doing everything correct and I think doing everything right and still failing in between.

Bob Muyskens
I don't know what his problem is. Mark. I think it's a dis. It's a strategy of deception, and it's not gonna work. So I feel like it's a cheatsy answer.

Mark Fischbach
Cuz it's trying to fall right in between with the same topic. Cuz I like. I like Bob's way of, like, going outside the box. But being as it literally just happened to me, like, two weeks ago, I'm gonna go with doing everything right and still having it all go wrong. What's going on over there?

Wade Barnes
Hmm. Awesome. I'm gonna give. I'm gonna give this one, because Wade. Dude, it's been happening since he came back.

Mark Fischbach
He ate, like, 30 campbell soups, and now he's spitting out the lids. It's fine. It's fine. So, Wade, by making the emotional distinction, I think you do get just slightly more than just forgetting, because that was the prompt forgetting to charge. I'm gonna give Bob a mystery point because I don't know what the f.

Wade Barnes
I'm captivated right now. All right, Wade, you're up. I'm focused. Here's one. Wade, what's.

Bob Muyskens
It's something. Don't worry about it. Name something worse than the Wi Fi going out every few minutes. Like, it's. It's repeated all day long.

Wade Barnes
Every few minutes, Wi Fi is going out. You reset. It doesn't work. Keeps going out. AC unit not working.

Mark Fischbach
On a hot day that is worse. I would consider that to be worse. The other is an inconvenience on something that's all day suffering. I already have my answer. Your car used to be fine, and something has happened to where now when you try and buckle the seatbelt, it only actually clicks into place and buckles about once in every four or five tries.

All right. Yeah, Bob. I like that answer. It's very different. I had a similar thing, one of my Toyota Corollas, because I had quite a few.

Wade Barnes
One of my 99 Toyota Corollas, always the same color. It's the same year, always the same make and model. Had this problem with the ignition.

Had a problem with the ignition where it wouldn't turn. Sometimes, like, physically, I had to jiggle it so that it would actually unlock and go all the way. It was the most annoying thing. And then it spawned into a bigger problem eventually where it would turn at all, and that was. I got stuck in a.

I literally got stuck in a hot. All right, hold. Stop. Everything stop. I feel like this is relative.

Mark Fischbach
The Wi Fi going in and out could bother me more than the seatbelt if I know the seatbelts not locking and I can fix it, because being in a car is less of an inconvenience for me because I'm not using it all that often. Compared to Wi Fi, which I use all the time. So I feel like this one's kind of relative. Bob, is it similar where it's, like, the Wi Fi, you try to reset it, whereas, like, you've tried to fix it, you've looked in there, there's nothing. It's just like.

Bob Muyskens
Yeah, it's just how it is now. Like, there's. It's inexplicable and unfixable. And you've. You've looked at it, and the dealer was like, oh, it's $1,800 if you want us to put a new seatbelt in.

And so, like, that's. That costs more than your car is worth. And you're like, well, this is just life now. This is tricky. Yeah.

Wade Barnes
Cause I don't imagine the Wi Fi. You'd live with that for a while. You get a new router, even the AC going out. Like, you can sometimes fix that same day or next day. Is the seatbelt thing more annoying than that?

Mark Fischbach
Cause it's longer term. Nah. When have you ever been able to get an AC fixed? Same day. You just had to deal with h vac stuff.

Bob Muyskens
Was it fixed the same day? I'm gonna give it to Bob here because there's so much more opportunity to make points if we just let. Let's get through the list. There's so much time. So I'm gonna give you Bob.

Wade Barnes
You threaded the needle with seatbelt. Hell. Damn it. Now he's got mystery point. I'm getting crushed.

All right, Bob, you just washed your ride. You washed it, waxed it, you got it looking spiffy as hell. You're super proud of it. You literally pick up the bucket, you turn off the hose, and you just hear the biggest bird poop you've ever seen directly. Not on the windshield, not on the roof.

It's on the bridge between the windshield and the roof, so it splatters back onto the roof and down the windshield. You just got a new phone, and you just got home with it. And along with your phone, you've purchased a case as well as a screen protector. Brand new phone. You take it.

Bob Muyskens
It's just out of the box. You take it, you set it on your table. You get the screen protector, you get the little sticker, you get the little microfiber. You take your time, you get it perfectly lined up, up. And then whoosh.

And you stick, and you. And then you turn your phone screen on, and there's a huge fucking speck of dust right up in the corner of your brand new phone. Somehow in between the screen protector you just applied and the screen itself. And it's stuck there for eternity until you get rid of that screen protector. That is worse.

Wade Barnes
But I would almost consider that significantly worse. There might be a good window here, Wade. What's in between? Bird shitting on your just freshly waxed, cleaned car and dust after you meticulously apply a screen protector. Sure.

Mark Fischbach
You just got married. You take your brand new wife or husband home, get him undressed, and a bird flies over.

Flies. Come on. Right on. Your brand new clean spouse. Where'd the bird come from?

Wade Barnes
I just got to know, where are you? You know, whenever you're carrying him up the stairs and you leave the front door open and that fucker just flew. Right. You know, it was supposed to be a joke, but I'm just going to stick with it because it makes me laugh. I got.

I feel like that would have future ramifications. Your. Your. Your bride or groom might think that they're cursed and the whole marriage is cursed. It might be the sign that they were looking for that they just got undressed and then a bird just all over them.

Right. That's. That's the thing. Yeah. With the bubble.

Mark Fischbach
The bubble or the. The hair or whatever under the screen, I think. Still worse for you. Yeah, for you, but actually not for. I'm giving it for Bob.

Bob. You get bird. I disagree. That was great, Wade. All right.

Wade Barnes
We're gonna get progressively worse. You have run out of gas on an isolated road 50 plus miles away from civilization, and you're out of gas. Doesn't really matter where it happens, but you're driving home, probably from work, still wearing your scrubs. It's a hot day. Your scrubs are black.

Mark Fischbach
Your seats are leather and black. You turn the corner, and as you're turning a corner just a mile or two from home, even, maybe, your car just fucking dies and you have to get out and push it to a parking lot and call triple a or tower or someone to come pick up your car because it just fucking died on you. That's worse. I mean, that's kind of the same thing, but you just. You just put it closer to town out of.

I'm saying something going wrong with, like, the engine or something is worse than being out of gas. Even with that distance factored in. Okay, so the car is catastrophically okay. It's. But the car is broken.

Bob Muyskens
It's gonna still be a pain in your ass for a long time, but it's also going to be expensive, almost guaranteed specifically in this instance, which was. A real thing that happened to me, I had to have my fucking engine rebuilt. All right. Okay. I'll give you that, because it might be a big enough gap for Bob to thread here, I think.

Wade Barnes
All right, Bob, what's. What's in between getting stranded? This. This is pretty close. I'll probably.

In the future, I won't allow things that are so thematically similar. It'll have to be, like, thematically different. But you're. You ran out of gas 50 miles away, or you. Your whole engine disassembled a mile away.

Bob Muyskens
Uh, I'm gonna say you are on a flight from somewhere. Business trip, whatever. You're flying home. It's a fine flight. It wasn't delayed or anything.

And you're. It's fine. You're just sitting there waiting to get there, and, like, 40 minutes before you're about to land, the. The flight attendant gets on and is like, oh, ladies, gentlemen. So sorry.

We're gonna have to announce that we're actually not gonna be landing at, um, Cincinnati airport. Uh, there's been a situation. We're not gonna be allowed to land there. So we're going to have to redirect and land in Louisville, which is about 3 hours away from Cincinnati. So we'll be landing in Louisville shortly.

So, like, your plane is fine. You're not going to crash. Nothing bad is that. But you're not. You're not going to end up at home.

You're going to end up in Louisville, and you're going to have to, like, rent a car and drive a few hours home, or, like, wait and see if you can get a short flight from one to the other, everything is fine, but also huge pain in ass. Yeah. That is because either you're waiting for probably a day in Louisville to get another flight, or you get a rental car and you try driving, but you're fighting for a rental car. It costs some money, but you could maybe for, like, a $100 or less, you could maybe rent a cheap car or get lucky or maybe there's a bus. I don't know.

Like, there's a solution that's probably cheaper than if your engine is kaput in your car. Yeah, this is. This is a tight one. It's definitely worse than just running out of gas in the middle of nowhere, for sure. Compared to the long term effects of your car engine breaking down, let's assume that it's under warranty.

Wade Barnes
Let's just assume it's still gonna cost money, no matter what. But let's assume at least it was a manufacturer defect. And it's not like, a catastrophic, just out of pocket expense, because that's a big gap I'm giving way. That's for your benefit. I'm saying it's under warranty to keep it close.

Mark Fischbach
If I may, like, honestly, I protested a couple of the other ones that you gave to Bob, but this one, I feel like he did a pretty good job. That's pretty. It's. It's very. It's very close.

Wade Barnes
So I'm thinking you'll have to pay for a hotel or rental. It's gonna cost money. No matter what. It's gonna cost money because there's not gonna be a flight booked. But even if they rebook the flight, you probably gotta stay in Louisville, and then you gotta make the choice.

Mark Fischbach
They would eventually comp or reimburse something. Probably. It's a time thing. You lose. You lose money because your time is lost, you know?

Wade Barnes
And you don't usually fly for any random reason. You're usually flying for an important thing. You might lose out on an emotional thing, but maybe if it was desperate, you could get there. Like, you would get a car. But it's like.

It's definitely inconvenience. This one's a tight. That's a. Hmm. I think it threads it because it's not as bad.

It's not as bad as your engine. I think this one. I think this one's a clear cut in the middle. I think it's right in there. I think he gets it.

Bob Muyskens
I'm really good at this, guys. Hey, the past two should have been mine. This one, Bob, you earned. That's a washer. It was a washer.

It's not. It's not a metal washer. What is it? Do you want me to show you what it is? It's a.

It's an ono scrolly. Oh, it's the new one they made. It's a fidgety thing. Ah. But it's like.

It's like polished stainless steel. It's meant for your mouth. No, it's not. It tastes awful. It tastes like weeks of my finger gunk all over it.

Mark Fischbach
It. But I did that because I don't know why. And then it made you guys freak out so much. I felt like I just had to keep going. Came back and sat down.

I was like, hey, Bob, you're like. And it just fell out. It was kind of unexpected. I will say it's curved. And this part, this bottom part is very pleasant to, like, have on your tongue.

Bob Muyskens
In your mouth is why I did that initially. But I acknowledge it's a pretty fucking weird thing to do. And it's fine if. If everyone out there is judging me. No, no.

Wade Barnes
I might have to take away the mystery. Mystery point at this point, but we'll see. All right, Bob, name something worse than finding a leak in your home that has caused some damage. Wow. I'm really actually kind of blanking.

Bob Muyskens
Okay, you finally got tickets to go see Hamilton. Even though that's not a cool reference anymore. It's in another city. It's a big deal. It's like the touring Broadway production.

It's very expensive, but you got tickets. You're gonna get a hotel. You're gonna go to drive over. You see? And you do all this.

You spend all this money. You get so hyped. You've been trying to see Hamilton for, like, three years. You go and you get to the theater, and right as the house lights are about to come down, the announcer is like, oh, legend. The exits are located at the front of the theater, just in case there will be lights.

Also, just want to let you know the actor who is normally plays Alexander Hamilton in our production has come down sick, and the role will be played tonight by Rick Moranis. What's wrong with Rick Moranis, man? What a stray. He just caught that man sitting at home watching distractable, and he's like, oh. I aimed right at the make Rick Miranda's and pulled the trigger.

But look, I love the man. He's funny. He cannot play Alexander Hamilton in Glenn Manuel Miranda's Hamilton. I don't know. He might.

Wade Barnes
Maybe. Maybe, you know? So wait, you're saying Rick Moranis playing as Hamilton is worse than water damage in your house and all the money. And all the planning and years of being excited for this? It's not even the person who plays, like, the understudy.

Bob Muyskens
It's just Rick Moranis. He's just. He was in town, and they were like, oh, people will love that. He's hilarious. This is a comedy show, right?

Wade Barnes
I think Rick Moranis, even at the age of 70, that he is right now, would crush it as Alexander Hamilton. I bet. You know what, Wade? You're in luck. I'm rejecting Bob's premise.

I'm gonna give you the point by default, Wade, because I can't. I will not stand for any Rick Moranis slander. Look, I'm not even saying the man can't do musicals. He's excellent in little shop of horrors. He's fantastic.

Then I think he would I think that would be an incredible surprise. I feel like that would be, like, such a bonus. Okay, here's the thing, Bob. The reason I'll. I'm.

I am rejecting is because for the right audience, that's the boon of the century. For the biggest Rick Moranis fan in the world, which might be me, it's the boon of the century. And I don't think it's worse than leak that has caused damage. That's what I get for being creative. Hey, I enjoy your creativity.

Mark Fischbach
Just listen. Mark and I are really staunch defenders of Rick Moranis. You picked the wrong actor in the wrong neighborhood, mister. Sorry, sorry, I meant I met, um. I meant, um, Joaquin Phoenix.

Bob Muyskens
Phoenix. Oh, yeah. Fuck that. All right, let's be honest. He could probably do that.

I meant John cena. John Cena will play Alexander Hamilton. I would actually like to see that happen. No, I would. What do you mean?

Topher. Topher from that 70 show will play Alexander Hamilton. What's his name? Topher Grace. What's the last name?

Wade Barnes
See, you could name anybody and I would. My mind would be like, well, if he got the role, he's probably going to surprise me, right? One of the Hemsworths, but not the main one, will be playing Alexander Hamilton. You know, he deserves a shot. He deserves a shot.

Mark Fischbach
He's been overshadowing his whole life. Good for him. What? One of the other baldwins. One of the other bond.

Bob Muyskens
Not Alec. The other ones, Brian. I mean, yeah, they're capable actors, too. Like, they. Okay, I see what's going.

I didn't realize we had such Baldwin stands. Well, one of them wasn't one of them. The president and Independence day, you know? Right. Isn't that the guy?

Wade Barnes
Is that. Is that a baldwin? I don't think so, no. Who is it? Who is it?

Who is it? Bill Pullman. Bill Pullman, yeah. Rearrange. Pullman.

What do you get? Bill Pullman is the Tom riddle of the Alec Baldwin family. All right. Okay, Wade. Name something worse than being burgled in the middle of the night.

Your house gets broken into. You are being burgled. I was gonna say being bergurgled. Just being burgled while being forced to gurgle. I can't get that out of my head now.

It's stuck. You know, save that. It might. That might be the right answer, Bob. It might.

Mark Fischbach
Am. I threaded it might throw it. Hold on to it. You're spoiling it. So I'm assuming that they're not just, like, breaking in and stealing one thing, like, you got significantly robbed, is my assumption.

Wade Barnes
It's like two people, bang, you're. They're grabbing, they're going for your computer, your tv, they're going for it. I'm gonna say two weeks ago, you had a birthday. You're a college student, and for your birthday, your family got you, like, a brand new car, and you go outside your college dorm, you go to get into your car, and your car is just fucking destroyed. Someone like either, like, wrecked into your car overnight, something happened.

Mark Fischbach
Your car is just sitting in the parking lot, fucking the AI trash truck. Mistook your car for a dumpster, and the hooks went out. Went and shook everything inside out. I guess depends on the value of the car versus the value of the burglaring. Right.

Wade Barnes
But I think there's a nor. There's an inherent fear element to being burgled. There's like, you see your car destroyed. That's like a loss as well. It does take away the fear.

Mark Fischbach
I don't know if you can ever be comfortable in your house again when someone breaks in. So I'm feeling like my answer is not scary enough. Bob, do you want me to give him another chance to do this? I know I just disqualified yours. Oh, I scared him.

Bob Muyskens
I scared him by throwing out bergurgling. I'll get rid of bergurgling, and you can try again, Wade. I won't use that as my answer. I know that was intimidating, because, like. My initial thought, again, was too close.

Mark Fischbach
It was like, well, the scarier thing is, like, I don't know, walking home and being physically, like, threatened at gunpoint, but, like, that seems too close. That's the difficulty of this game. They're going to get worse from here on out, so you have to go more extreme. Well, yeah, it just felt like it was too close to the same thing. If you get robbed at gunpoint versus burgled.

Right. That was my initial thought was, okay, well, being robbed at gunpoint. Cause then you're facing death right away. All right. You're given a lot of options.

Wade Barnes
You get 1 second chance here. By the grace of Bob, 10 seconds on the clock. Shit. Being on a plane, and, like, one of the engines fails, and you don't know if you're gonna make it back. Ooh, did you guys see that video.

From the Internet of the engine cover. Just ripping off the engine cowling? Ripped off in flight, and next to the guy who's, like, filming it out his window, and he's like, like, uh, ghost flight attendant or. I don't know. Who do you call about that.

I accept it. And that's a gap. Bob, can you thread between being burgled and you have lost the right to say ber gurgled, sir? Yeah, I gave up, or gurgled and being on a flight in, one of the engines literally fails, smoking. Fireball alarms start blaring.

The masks haven't come down yet, but you are on the window seat. You see it. You are a senior in college, and it is the. It is nearing the end of the year. It's around the time where they start telling you, like, oh, you got to order your robes for graduation.

Bob Muyskens
You got a. You got to get your transcript in order. You got to pay your fees, whatever. You got to make sure you're all settled. And you go into the administration office, and you're like, hey, I got this notice that I owe, like, a fee or something.

I just want to make sure we're all good so I can graduate. And the person at the desk is like, oh, yeah, yeah, give me your, like, student id number. We'll look it up. And they hand them your student id, and they type it in, and then they're like, oh, that's weird. There's.

There's no. No. No record. Are you sure you're enrolled? Are you at, like, a satellite campus, or are you at the main campus?

And you're there and you're there for hours, and somehow all of your records of your years long college career that you're in an enormous amount of debt to have gotten are disappeared. And there's no resolution yet. Maybe the resolution is in two weeks, they find the glitch in the system, and they restore you. But you are weeks from graduation, and suddenly the university is like, I don't have any records that you have earned any credits. We don't have anything.

You have all these student loans. You have a job who are expecting you graduate lined up, and this is now you're in this position suddenly where the university is telling you you get nothing, you've done nothing. You don't earn a degree, because they have no record of your you having done anything for them. What a difficult thing to compare this. Okay, so here's what I'm saying.

Wade Barnes
I believe this situation, and I'm sure that it does happen, especially in the electronic era. But what I'll say is, given that you have been in college, there is a paper trail, probably, of interactions with teachers, uh, you know, uh, correspondence with things, payments to. If you were doing student loan payments, at least from the government, for those student loans to the college campus. So I would believe that situation would be resolved. It would be scary, but it's not quite fear of death scary, which brings it before the plane thing, but it's not quite burgled scary, where it's like there is someone actively stealing from you in that moment.

It's definitely a. It sucks. And especially that early in life, you're like, oh, is all this work going? At best. But I.

I would believe that would be resolved with minimal lust. You may miss graduation because of it. And that would suck. Absolutely. And maybe you have to wait a year.

It's iffy. But most likely, especially nowadays, you could take it to social media and be like, they fucked me over. I feel like it doesn't quite thread the needle. It's really close. Not quite being burgled bad, because that could go worse.

So I'm gonna give the point away. Just like, I will say, bob, I gotta throw this out there, but I envy your creativity on these things. Like, when we did the chess episode and this one. Your ability to just, like, think way outside the fucking box is something I envy. My brain goes from, like, what's worse than being burgled?

Mark Fischbach
Being burgled twice. All right, Bob, I'm giving you half a point for creativity. Then you can think, wait.

Wait. There's an asteroid coming to Earth that has the potential for mass extinction. It's definitely gonna kill a lot of people. Name something worse than that. Um, two asteroids.

Bob Muyskens
Two earths. There has been some kind of catastrophic event that has disabled a lot of our, like, defense systems globally. And nuclear war is happening. The missiles are in the air, and we can't just laser them out of the sky. They.

Mark Fischbach
There will be impact. All right, that's pretty bad. That's pretty bad. I feel like that's worse because it's the human implication. It's like, oh, we did this to ourselves.

Wade Barnes
Ah, Bob. What's in between that? Can I steal a movie plot? Absolutely. Wade does it all the time.

Mark Fischbach
I make my career. Bruce Willis and his band of oil rig manning drill masters, the world's last hope. They fly up in a crazy, futuristic looking space shuttle to meet the giant asteroid that is hurtling towards Earth in order to drill deep into it, to then lower nuclear weapons into it, to split it in half so that it doesn't impact with Earth. And the two halves go around Earth and the. There are mishaps.

Bob Muyskens
It's not what they expected. The metal of the asteroid is even denser than the scans told them. And Bruce Willis is. Sacrifices himself. To stay behind while the rest of the team leaves in the shuttle to finish drilling the hole as best he can.

It won't go all the way down, but it goes as far as he can. He lowers the nuke and he sets the detonation timer. And as Bruce Willis sits on the asteroid, that arrow Arrow Smith song plays. But I would stay awake just to hear you breathing. And then the nuke detonates and Bruce Willis is sad, and his liv Tyler back on Earth is extra sad.

Cause she's Bruce Willis's daughter. Spoilers. And half of the asteroid misses Earth, but then the other half hits Earth. Why? Why can you give the whole plot.

Mark Fischbach
It's fine. But you say Liv Tyler's Bruce Willis's daughter. Spoilers. Cause it's funny. I don't know.

Revealed in the first five minutes. I was going for laughs. I don't know if you caught on to that. It was funny. Yeah, well, that's the idea, anyway.

Bob Muyskens
Half of. The. Half of the asteroid is exploded away and misses, but the other, smaller half still impacts earth. It does not wipe out humanity completely, but obviously that's a huge worldwide event. Isn't that Mark's scenario?

Mark Fischbach
Just with a lot of pretense I. Had written down, because I thought I knew where you were going with this, and I was prepared to give you the point, because I had written down two asteroids because I thought that's where you were going. It splits in half, and then two hit earth. And I would have given you the point, but you said one misses, so I gotta scratch that out. And I'm giving it to Wade because I feel like that's still the same there.

Wade Barnes
In fact, there was a little bit of hope, like, oh, it's not as bad. It went from certain doom to kind of doom. There was a little bit of hope that was taken away. And then there is humanity that persists in a world that is devastated. Well, the world was going to be devastated anyway.

That's. That's what I'm saying. It's the opening scenario. Or you went through all that circus to get back to the premise, and you actually added some hope, so you made it. Not as bad as that.

Wade gets the nuclear asteroids hit. You were right there. You were right there. Well, I had to be. I think that's what actually does happen in the movie, doesn't it?

Well, yeah, they. Then they then drive. No, they drive the shuttle into the other, bigger chunk with all the nukes, and they go, like. And then boom. Or maybe that was the other asteroid movie.

I don't even know. Yeah, no, there's. There's deep impact, and then there's. What's the. Bruce Willis.

Bob Muyskens
What's called space cowboys or something? I don't know. You mean Armageddon? Armageddon. Armageddon, yes.

Mark Fischbach
Bob. Name something worse. Then the universe's expansion suddenly accelerates exponentially, tearing apart galaxies, stars, planets, and eventually the very fabric of spacetime itself. Something worse than that. Okay.

Bob Muyskens
Two universes.

No, I, um. No, I'm not gonna go with that one. Worse than that. Damn. I had my 1.5 universes ready.

This is gonna get a little. A little pseudo sciency, and by which I mean scientifically inaccurate. It. There's an episode of the show. I.

What's that? Seth MacFarlane? Space. It's like Star Trek, but it's funny. Seth MacFarlane, what's that called?

Wade Barnes
Oh, yeah, I don't. I don't remember, but I know what you're talking about. Space. Space family guy. The Orville.

Bob Muyskens
The Orville is episode of the Orville where they find an anomaly in space where they can go into it, and it reduces space to two dimensions in a way that's confusing and hard to conceptualize, but basically, that happens to the entire universe. Scientists are experimenting with, like, the Large Hadron Collider or something. They do something that creates some sort of crazy ass anomaly that reduces our universe spatially from three dimensions down to two dimensions. Somehow life persists. This is not an instant death to anything that.

That was previously three dimensional, but it's like a weird, hard to even conceptualize change in the existence, the fabric of existence as we know and understand it. Yeah. I don't know if that's the worst of everything ripping apart, though. It's bad. But you said life goes on, right?

Yeah. You have to. Now we live in a two dimensional world that we can't even comprehend. Oh. Like, we're in a hell.

Wade Barnes
Like, kind of a hell. Now suddenly you're in, like, a two dimensional, like, flatland type thing where it's like you're all still alive, but nothing is. You don't understand anything. You're essentially like cavemen over again. Right?

Bob Muyskens
Because technology is meaningless. Known or thought about has been in three dimensions. Now we live in definitely four dimensions, but now we live in two dimensions physically, still with time. Okay. But existence continues.

The world, the universe is not ending. Space time is not faring apart. This is just the new reality. Right. Okay.

That would be probably pretty horrible. Is that worse than the ones just be an end? Like, one is like the whole universe ending, but this is like the universe carries on, but in a way that our minds were never equipped to comprehend. And then we're somehow still persisting. That sounds like a pretty hellish, I think, eternal, like, maybe not even eternal suffering.

Wade Barnes
But if the universe were to end with a big rip, it wouldn't be any different than a, like, us blowing up. We just. And gone. But that's like, we go, bah. And we're like.

I'm too d. Yeah, that's not good. My turn. Yeah. Good luck.

Mark Fischbach
All right, so there's different pockets of existence that go between three dimensional and two dimensional. And you never know when you're gonna end up in one versus the other. 1 minute you're walking like, down the sidewalk in your two dimensional existence, then all of a sudden the sidewalk expands. There's other ways to look and go, only for a moment just to be sucked right back into the two dimensional. Can you go from two to three?

Yes, but not like you can't intentionally do it. You never know when it's going to crop up. I feel like that's just my scenario, but with an addition of hope that maybe scientists will figure out how to control the transition between two and three dimensions. Well, I'm basing mine on the show the oroville. In the show the orville, the scientists figure out a force field which allows them to remain in three dimensional space space while they go through the anomaly, which is in two dimensions.

I've never seen this show. I feel like I got cheated here. It's really good. It's very, it's very. I've heard only good things about it.

Bob Muyskens
It's worth watching. Is there any lasting effects from going from three d to two d to back, besides psychological? Oh, probably, yeah. It can't be good for your body to be ripped, compressed, ripped, compressed. So in the long run, yeah, lifespans are be significantly shortened.

Mark Fischbach
Uh, quality of life. You never really know. I guess when you go back to three dimensional, there's a lot more ramifications and you're compressed to two dimensional, it's like you have less to worry about. But all of a sudden the expansion of three dimensional, you see all the issues that have happened when you've been compressed and expanded because that's probably how that works. Yeah, well, probably.

Bob, tell them how my answer is. Good. So my, my, I'm very, I'm kind of hard to judge because I'm like, okay, is that worse than just a complete end of the universe? Because that is pretty bad. Flipping back and forth and shortened lifespans.

Wade Barnes
Honestly, doesn't even sound as bad as that. Just always being stuck in two dimensionals. Yeah. But I accepted Bob to be, like, perpetually in 2d. Okay.

I could accept that. That hellscape, I don't think it threads the needle. Sure. What we've got now versus Bob's scenario being in the middle of that is definitely not in the middle of that. I would agree.

Mark Fischbach
Agree. Yeah. Yeah. What? No, so I don't.

Wade Barnes
I don't deny that your scenario is not as bad as his scenario, but I'm like, is it worse? It has to be in the middle. So is that worse than the universe being destroyed? That's what I'm asking. Is his worse than the universe being.

Destroyed the way he argued it? I think so. Because you're perpetually stuck in a new form where you are basically suffering and. Because I imagine so. Look, I did this as a bit, right?

Mark Fischbach
But if I'm really thinking about it, I would imagine the process of having your body go through whatever it goes through to switch dimensional constraints, like, that would not be pleasant. If you just do it once and you're stuck there. Like, you're stuck there. If you're constantly going back and forth, and you never know when it's gonna happen, that would be pretty fucking awful. How often, though?

Wade Barnes
Well, that is a legitimate question. How often, I would say, in order for the scenario to make sense would have to be. You wouldn't know. It could be every few seconds. You could have, like, an hour.

Mark Fischbach
You could even maybe have a day in one. Like, I think you just legitimately would not know. It's not gonna be predictable. You walk in, like. Yeah, three of you walk in at once.

But then, like, one of you might. Might get sucked out or changed, because these things aren't static, they're moving. It's like someone's blowing bubbles of three dimensional around your 2d scape. And you never know when one of these bubbles is gonna pass through you. You might pass through them.

Wade Barnes
Okay. Okay. All right. Okay. So, yeah, there's.

There's the unpredictability. It's, like, chaotic. It definitely would excruciating pain to go between, right? Absolutely. I'm not denying that.

But again, then again, like, any. Any kind of rule you apply to the 2d. It kind of applies to Bob as well. Cause if it's excruciating pain to go in, I'm like, does that pain ever end when you're in there perpetually and then everything in there. Oh, I see.

Mark Fischbach
So you're saying mine might be even worse than Bob's. That's kind of where I was. Honestly, I was unsure if yours was worse or mine was worse in this scenario, was what I've been thinking about. That is. I guess that's a good question, because mine would have the pain of transitioning a lot, but you would get moments of experiencing, like, normal, what we consider normal existence again, I guess maybe I.

Wade Barnes
Have to null this one, because the more I think about it, the more I'm like. Like, the universe ending still is. Might be worse. Like, maybe. Maybe the premise itself was never over the threshold that it needed to be.

So I kind of got to call this one a null point. No points here. I do want to kind of see that episode of the Orville and. Or, like, a movie or something that takes place where something like this happening now, though. Subreddit, you have homework.

Go watch that episode of the Oroville and then tell us where the point should go, because that will give you the answer. And then we won't do anything with it because I'm gonna end the episode and calculate the points. I don't wanna be pedantic, but if your conclusion is that my original submission was actually not worse than your prompt based on what you did previously, Wade gets the point. Oh, is that what he did? Cause you gave me the point on the one that Wade did.

Bob Muyskens
I think it's like. Cause I'm at fault for doing it. I don't think I can punish you for accepting it. Do you want to give me a do over like we did the other time with Wade? We can.

Wade Barnes
I've got more. I could give a different one. I would say let's do a different prompt, because I think we've kind of thought through this one enough where I think it'd be more fun to do a different one. We solved it. Here's one that kind of takes a step back.

Sudden collapse of all satellite networks, disrupting global communications, weather forecasting, navigation systems. The big thing that happens where it's, like, a chain event of all the things, you know, gravity, that happens. All satellites, satellites, space travel. Kind of fucked for a very long time. Okay, so, like, physics changes, is what you're saying?

No, no, no. This is. The satellites break. Like, there's, like, a solar ejection or something, a crow or whatever. Or there's, like, a piece of space debris.

It hits one satellite, that satellite breaks into a thousand pieces. Oh, okay. I thought you're saying gravity of the earth changed, therefore fucked all of our systems, because it itself changed. Okay, you're just saying, like, our ability to monitor is gone, right? Yeah, I said sudden collapse of all satellite networks, disrupting global communications, weather forecasting and navigation system.

That's what I said. Okay, then you mentioned gravity, so I thought you were saying due to. Okay, I got you. I did. I didn't say gravity at all.

I said the movie. The movie gravity. Oh, I missed the movie reference. I just heard the gravity part. Okay, you know what?

Bob Muyskens
This is a movie plot. I'm just gonna go with it. Awesome. It's. It's not even a good movie, but boy, was it expensive.

Basically, the plot of Waterworld happens to Earth. All. All of the surface ice on the poles and everywhere melts. Enough water is freed up into the oceans where the whole planet just becomes a giant ocean ball. And so there's no land.

It becomes a floating civilization type deal. So even though we had, you know, satellites and stuff, theoretically in this world, like, how do you generate electricity? How do you have static networks of things? All of this stuff. Civilization is uprooted completely because the earth is now only covered in water.

And it's mostly ocean water. I don't know what the science is on this, but let's say all the water is salinated, so it's not like it's drinkable fresh water. It's. It's salt water. You have to desalinate in order to have drinkable water for human life.

Okay. It's also the plot of raft, so, you know, but it definitely would be worse than just satellites going down. This is a fundamental societal life change. We may not even survive it. It's.

Wade Barnes
It's. There are still islands in raft. Fuck that. No islands at all in this one. It's.

Even Everest is underwater. Actually, Everest is right where the waves go. So sometimes the waves come down. It's like Everest is just a big jagged rock that you can crash your ship on. So don't hit Everest.

Mark Fischbach
Is there no land in Waterworld? I thought eventually there was. We're going worse. We're saying there's no land. Is there land eventually in Waterworld?

Bob Muyskens
I thought. I've not seen it since I was single digits. I don't remember. Yeah, I haven't seen it since like, the 19th. All right, wait, thread that needle.

Wade Barnes
All satellites going kaboom. Or water for everywhere. Being among the first people colonizing a new planet. So we don't have working. Functional.

That's a really. Ooh, wait, so is this like. I guess they're not that different. No, that's a bad question. I was gonna ask if this is like Firefly or more like outer, outer worlds.

I think this is a very realistic expectation. Like the first people who go to colonize, say Mars, they're gonna have a pretty, pretty fucking terrible life. It's gonna be awful. Yeah, cuz they're not gonna have like the satellite network and stuff like that. But it's also, there's hope.

Mark Fischbach
Unlike the water world where it's like our land is gone. Yeah. In this case we're trying and probably can eventually make it habitable. Habitable. Whatever.

The initial steps of being there and having like, you know, your one outpost limited oxygen and all that stuff. And it'd be kind of awful for a while, but it'll slowly, I guess in theory get better depending on drawbacks, aliens, whatever. Yeah. If we, if we lose all the satellites, that would be very bad. But I feel like this on a personal level, if we're looking at how it affects one person being the person to go out there, on there.

Yeah. If we're looking at from that lens on a global level, it gets pretty bad. But humanity did live for a while without satellites. So I think I'm assuming the reality. Is that it would not be people who would necessarily want this.

Bob Muyskens
But like there is a part of me that's like, isn't that what humanity does? Isn't there a part of humanity who would be like, yeah. Want to colonize Mars? Oh, I want to do that. I want to do that.

Wade Barnes
Absolutely. I don't give a shit if it the hardest existence a human could have. I want to go be in the wild west. I want to go do that. I'm one of them.

I'm one of the people's. It's not universally bad, even though it's objectively bad, but like people would want that. Some people would want that. I think we romanticized in our minds, I think in actuality going like going to other land would suck. But at least we have some familiar, like there are trees, there are fish, there are animals to hunt.

Mark Fischbach
You are on Mars, you have like. So you really don't know what the fuck you're going to do. You're going to die on Mars. If you go to Mars, you're dying on Mars is the way it goes. And probably not in a fun way.

So I think it's worse than just like making a new colony on earth in theory, right? I guess, who knows what we could bring. Maybe we bring a whole biome with us where there's like trees and shit. I don't know, just in my brain that's worse than losing satellites, but not as bad as the catastrophic failure of like, water world. I definitely think it's.

Wade Barnes
It's a good suggestion, but here's the reason I'm. I don't think I can give it because all the satellites going out affects everyone on earth in a not maybe as personally bad way, but it's like on the quantity of bad. It's very bad because it sets humanity back a bit. If you're going to Mars and colonize, your life is going to be hellish, every day's work. Social is going to suck.

You're probably going to die from either the elements, radiation or air running out. Death is all around you. Sure. Personally, individually, much worse. Globally, the maximum amount of suffering.

I don't think it's as bad because even the premise is still a little bit hopeful. It's like a moving the needle forward. I suppose that's true. I guess it does depend what lens you look through. I was thinking about an individual lens.

But that's why I'm saying, like, you're right in terms of how it affects the individual, but because of the macroscopic lens that the original premise has, I have to give the point to Bob. I can see the argument because this does depend on what lens you look through. So that wraps this long episode. But I think it was fun. Well done, everybody.

I don't even know if that was like a game breaking point here, because I lost track of everything. So I'm gonna go through. Oh, God, no. Bob crushed me like 50 to two. I don't think so.

Maybe you got. You did have deductions. So let's see, you got minus one for bad guess, minus one for hit again. I'm not sure. Oh, hit me.

You got a stinky point. A real stinker. You got an honesty point, so you got that. You got one for Stoke Holmes. That's how I wrote it.

Minus one for going down the path, but an immediate plus one for impressive. Impressive. Unwashed asshole. I gave you half a point for doing assist, and I'll get to back to why soon. One point for effort.

Oh, God. Um, minus one for bitch boy. And there's a sad face by that one. You got a point for tow phone. Rick Moranis burgled and nuke, so I'll count that afterwards.

Bob, you got a burn point. That was great. You got a gold point. You got a doing point. So the reason I gave way to doing assist is because it was his story.

But you came up with the vi you brought in the video where it went doing off to the side. But I thought it was unfair just to give you that point when it was Wade who was in the video. So I don't remember this conversation, but I appreciate the point. I gave you. Paper, bathroom.

The mystery point, which I deducted. The mystery was not. I deducted it because the mystery got revealed. Seatbelt hell, bird poop. Reroute creativity point.

Half a point. I feel like one of these lists is a lot longer than the other. And Waterworld. Yeah, yours is a lot longer. Mine was.

Bob Muyskens
He read yours for like a couple minutes. He just read through most of mine all in one go. But I have to. I have to tabulate. So that's minus one, minus 110100.

Mark Fischbach
Half of mine are zeros or negatives, Bob. It's not looking good. Six and a half. Yeah. Yeah.

It's gonna be a close one. It's gonna be a close one, Bob. 1234-5678 910 eleven and a half. Man, those deductions really got you, Wade. It was so close.

Bob Muyskens
Wait, if all these. Okay, I had like three deductions. So I would have still only had nine and a half, I think. Right? You had four deductions.

Mark Fischbach
I still would have lost by what? It would have been close. That that was the game waiting for. If it wasn't the deductions. Congratulations, Bob.

Oh, I definitely should have won the last one. Then. I was definitely correct with Mars. Give me Mars. No, no, no.

Wade Barnes
All right. Well, congratulations, Bob. That was a hard fought battle. You won it by not doing anything to antagonize me. And I appreciate.

Except for the mystery. Like you got that deduction. So you gotta do better, Bob. I tried. I'll put other stuff in my mouth.

Bob Muyskens
All right, Bob, that was a fun game. I would do that forever hours. Because it's fun to just imagine bullshit scenarios that don't mean anything. But, uh, you know what? It.

It was a. It was a good. It was a good fight. Wade, I don't think the points accurately reflect how close the battle was. And, uh, uh, big, big respect.

Unfortunately, respect doesn't win you games. Well, it would have if you respected me. No, I still would have lost. If you could respect mark for 5 seconds, you would have. You would have really saved yourself points.

But anyway, congratulations to me. Thank you, Wade. I wanted this loss. I'm glad to lose. I didn't even have an idea for the last episode I hosted.

Mark Fischbach
Because I didn't know I was hosting it. So you know what I'm fucking glad it's not my responsibility to think of something next time because you guys would just waste my fucking time with your big small talk and I'd have ten minutes to do my topic. It would be a bunch of bullshit. So I'm glad the pressure's on you, and I hope we small talk all of you to death. And I'm not bitter.

Bob Muyskens
You are your topic. Last time, I don't know, curses. Witches, I think. Oh, that's right, you're cursed. That's okay.

Wade Barnes
We all feel cursed. And you're cursed for listening to this, apparently. No, that was the last episode. The curse has been broken. Thank you for listening to this podcast.

Be sure to follow by hitting whatever button is nearest you at this immediate moment. As long as it's not the self destruct button. Press every any button, whatever closest will make sure that you will always know when we have new episodes and will ensure the longevity and success of this podcast. We will literally quit if you don't spread the word. We will quit.

Mark Fischbach
Wait, not the mute button. Mute us.

Wade Barnes
Maybe our demise is greatly earned, but thank you boys for competing. I appreciate that. Merch distractiblestore.com dot the current merch is almost out, and then we will have new merch as soon as this one goes, and then we'll probably have staple stuff regularly, but this one's almost gone. Thank you, podcast out.

Bad Or Worse

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Episode Summary

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1: Introduction

2: The Lesser of Two Evils

3: Hypothetical Havoc

4: Conclusion

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