Flightless Bird: Frozen Food

David Farrier
Im David Farrier. Who New Zealander accidentally marooned in America. And I want to figure out what makes this country tick. Back in episode 58, we went on a fairly strange journey looking into Americas obsession with ice. Not about how America polices its border, but how it loves frozen water.

Monica Padman
Now youre realizing the real reason for ice, which is to actually save money because its cheaper to put ice in your drink than it is to fill it with booze or coke. In that episode, we went down a lot of icy rabbit holes learning about Boston's ice king and how America perfected the art of freezing food. And it's to frozen food that we return today. Tonight she's serving Swanson frozen dinners. She knows that Swanson dinners have the extras that give her family a good meal and give her a 1 hour vacation with her family.

David Farrier
Ever since the invention of the frozen tv dinner, America loves nothing more than having its food cooled down until it's frozen solid before heating it back up again. Over 80% of american households will eat frozen dinners this year, making the frozen food market worth over $65 billion. 650,000 Americans work in the frozen food industry, making sure a frozen meal is never very far away. Are you gonna cook? Yeah, sure, I'm gonna cook you.

Monica Padman
Oh, no. But what's for dinner? Let's see, we've got fried chicken, turkey. It sounds very steak. So get ready to open your freezer to grab tonight's dinner because this is the frozen Foods episode on.

David Farrier
Just quickly stick around after this episode because we have Calvin's second Lord of the Rings review. He'll be reviewing 2000 two's the two towers. Okay, on to frozen foods.

Flightless, flightless bird, touchdown in America. I'm a flightless bird, touchdown in America.

Now we went on a real journey in this episode. Monica. We went out, we ate, we ate, we ate. Oh, did we? How are you feeling?

Cause the documentary involves us getting a lot of frozen food. I'm excited to hear the innate excitement I didn't expect. I was like, okay, I'll go meet David at the grocery store. We'll pick out some frozen food. We'll eat it.

Monica Padman
He'll try it. Fun. But once we were there, I've never been more excited in my life. Which grocery store did you guys go to? It's a generic grocery store.

That's not hoity toity. It had the old classics, which was the point. Did not want to get the yummy new age. No fanciness. We went to a middle of the road.

David Farrier
Could be anywhere in America. Your middle of the road supermarket. Rob, how do you feel about frozen food? I don't really eat frozen food. Least surprising answer you've ever given.

Rob
The boys will eat it, though, when it's like, we need a quick corn dog or something for them to eat. Did you grow up with any sort of frozen food in the family? Yeah, I did. We had frozen pizzas and things like that, and I had a good friend growing up that got Swanson's delivered, and I remember that being fancy. And they had the little mini pizzas that I loved.

Monica Padman
Yeah. I mean, like, are they kind of bagel bitey? But they were pizza. Oh, they were like, kind of like the red Baron Minis. Oh, I love Red Baron.

Rob
But fancy with the square pepperoni. Oh, sure. And I thought they were rich. Cause they had this frozen food delivered to them, and I always wanted to eat that pizza. They probably were.

David Farrier
Yes. Maybe. There was a famous hot pie brand in New Zealand called Georgie Pie, which is shut down now. It was similar to McDonald's. You'd get a burger from McDonald's.

If you wanted a meat pie, you'd go to Georgie pie. And we didn't have one in our town. And so my dad, he went to the big city of Auckland. He would just buy, like, 50 Georgie pies, and then we would freeze them, and then we would dethaw them. And it was just the most exciting thing ever.

My dad ruled. Is now the time for us to tell people what happened? No, we're gonna get to that. Okay. It's a good tease, though, but we've.

Monica Padman
Teased it also on armchair. We talked a little bit about what was going on. There were some ethical quandaries we faced. Yes. This documentary, this took place about a month ago now, and it began with you, Monica, looking absolutely miserable.

David Farrier
It ended with you looking the most excited I've ever seen you look. It was a Saturday or a Sunday morning. Yeah. Let's paint the picture. As I mentioned earlier, back in episode 58, we looked at the origins of the frozen food industry in the United States.

I met up with journalist Reid Mittenboule, author of a book called Bourbon Empire. Reid schooled me on how frozen food helped change the very fabric of America. So the frozen food and the way ice relates to frozen food really ties into, I think, America's pre industrial past. So you've got this era where the country is very agrarian, and you've got local markets for food, and everything's highly seasonal. And as soon as ice comes into the picture, you're able to ship food further.

Reid Mittenboule
You're able to preserve it for longer. So it's changing America's diet and it allowed the cities to explode in the US. Now it's like you can move into the city and you can preserve food and you can get stuff from markets that are further and further away. And so it really changed, I think, the landscape of America. So you see this transformation and it is right around the middle of the 19th century, mid 18 hundreds, when cities are really starting to explode and you start to see that transition from an agrarian to an industrial society.

So ice played a huge part of that. So it really did transform the country. But to truly understand that transformation I would have to experience it myself. I would need to embrace the frozen food section of my local grocery store. I also knew I needed a guide.

David Farrier
Monica Padman. It was a Sunday morning and I think probably both of us didn't really want to be at a grocery store right now. But we had a show to make. Hello. You look so.

You look so lonely standing there. I wasn't even sure it was you. I've been standing here for six minutes. I hated every second of it. It makes you feel any better?

On the way here I rubbed sunscreen in my eyes and my eyes started crying. And it's been terrible for me as well. Bad morning for all. We walk inside the magical glass doors sliding open. On first glance, how do you feel like an american grocery store smells versus a New Zealand grocery store?

I don't love the smell. I don't get any fresh bread smells. It feels very plastic. It feels like every food smell is sealed away. I can tell.

Monica Padman
I mean there is a distinct smell. Barbara Kingsolver, who we love, she wrote about how when she lands back in America she recognizes how little smell there is here. That it's actually smell less. I agree. The downside that New Zealand has.

David Farrier
We have a problem recently with too many birds in the supermarket flying in. So you get pigeons wandering around. And there's been an outburst of mice as well, which actually. That's really horrif in the grocery store. In like our main grocery store.

There's been a lot of mouse sightings. David here chipping in from the edit room. I was wrong about the mice. Turns out it was actually rats. Good evening.

It started with one rat in a cabinet. Now countdown's rodent problem is a lot worse. More than a dozen rats have been caught in the past 72 hours at a Dunedin countdown supermarket. And now new video has emerged of a mouse crawling over an open bowl of salad in one of the chain's Christchurch stores. I'm realizing I had a dream.

Monica Padman
In anticipation for this. I had a nervous dream. I dreamt about chips and cheez its. I just saw the cheez its and I just remembered that. What was in the dream?

David Farrier
Do you remember? I don't remember, but I was anxious. I think I was anxious about this big jaunt we had today because I have to introduce you to a lot of things. Yeah. Monica and I have reached the frozen food aisle, or at least one of the aisles.

It's overwhelming, but our trolley is ready. I call them carts. You call them trolleys? Oh, they're carts here. Yeah, carts.

It's overwhelming, but our cart is ready. This is a big shopping trip because I forgot about all this important stuff. Stouffer's french bread pizzas. You have to have that. Okay, let's get one of these.

Monica Padman
Let's get extra cheap. I love pizza. I mean, I have just told you my cholesterol problem, but. Oh, you're gonna have to put that on the back burner for today. And we're not even gonna talk ice cream.

David Farrier
That's a whole separate episode. Probably ice cream, right? Cause there's an ice cream day here, so that's probably a whole other thing. Oh, that's a good idea. That's a good idea.

Monica Padman
Okay. We're gonna do Stouffer's french bread pizza, but we also have to do Digiorno because have you heard? It's not delivery, it's Digiorno. This is huge. It's not delivery.

It's Digiorno. I'm also seeing all these brands that are newer to me. So we're not gonna do that. We're gonna go classic. Classic.

David Farrier
I love hawaiian style. Do you like pineapple? I do love hawaiian. Let's get hawaiian for you. Can you deal with pineapple, though?

Monica Padman
Of course. And we should get rising crust. There's stuffed crust, there's rising crust. There's thin crust. There's everything.

David Farrier
There are so many types of crust and so many pizza brands. Even Monica's intimidated by this task of just narrowing down what we're gonna get. Oh, but you also kinda fuck. But how many p. Okay.

Monica Padman
I just think you kinda need pizza bites. Okay, let's get pizza bites. I don't know what a pizza bite is. Okay. There's corn dogs now.

Corn dogs were never my thing, so I'm not inclined to get it. But do you love a corn dog? I like the corn dog we had at Disney. I think we should get a little corn dog. Okay.

Here we are big area. Hot pocket. Is hot pockets a brand or a type of food? It's both. It's one and the same.

David Farrier
So the hot pocket looks here like a little toasty snack. It does. But I have to say, times have really changed. When I was young, there would have been almost as many hot pockets as there was that amount of pizza. Right?

Monica Padman
It used to be so. So many flavors, so many kinds. Right now all I see is four cheese pizza meatballs and mozzarella. Ham and cheddar. Pepperoni pizza.

That's it. This selection isn't huge. We've got four or five here. What do we pick? What sounds best to you?

Maybe we could go ham and cheddar. That's kind of classic. There's crispy, buttery crust or croissant crust. Which is the healthiest, do you think we look at some of the calories? 280 per sandwich.

David Farrier
The next type of sandwich? 280 as well. So is the next one. They're all just 280 calories. My poor cholesterol.

Monica Padman
Oh, no. I just realized something. I think there's another entire frozen food aisle. Sounds american. No, really?

Because we're not even at the actual frozen food. We're at general frozen foods. But there's frozen food meals that we have to get. Suddenly, Monica's eyes go wide. She spotted the eggos.

You need this. This is so american. I feel like this is the kind of waffle you see at a motel breakfast. Exactly. But better.

A little more nostalgic. At a motel breakfast, you get the tiny muffin a horrible coffee plastic cutlery. Rough. I do think we have to get a Marie Callender's pie. That brand is a good one.

It's a very good. Also, Sara Lee is classic. Also, the Pepperidge farm chocolate fudge is classic. So you just grow up with all that? How do you know all of this stuff?

David Farrier
Like, you're not eating the stuff now. So is this all from your childhood? Yeah. I kind of wonder that too. I'm like, why do I know what everything tastes like?

There's nothing in here that you don't recognize. And that's just growing up in America. Yeah, I don't think it's that. Every time we went to the grocery store our cart looked like this. It couldn't happen because it's like friends houses as well.

All that stuff. Over time, I guess, like one grocery trip, you get the chocolate satin pie. Then another time you get. I think we have to get pepperidge farm chocolate fudge. And we go on like, this freezer after freezer aisle after aisle.

Monica Padman
But dinobodies is very, it's like what you buy for kids, which you are one. So we might want to get that. Our cart's actually getting quite full. So much cardboard packaging, so much frozen food. Now, these are frozen berries, but I'm not interested in that.

David Farrier
I start to feel a little self conscious. Even here in America, where frozen foods are an accepted part of life, people are passing by and I can see them judging our food selection. So there's turkey sausage, the chicken maple, the applegate chicken maple breakfast sausage is very good, but I don't think we have space for that. Stouffer's clap. Oh, my God.

Monica Padman
Swedish meatballs. We have to get the swedish meatballs. Marie Callender Salisbury steak is number two on my list for when you think of the quintessential frozen foods. I think it was the original. Well, this is a big deal.

This is huge. Okay. Oh, my God. You know what? You.

You have to have fish sticks if we can find them. That is so old school. It goes on and on like this. Chicken pot pies. Some lean cuisine frozen meals just to be healthy.

David Farrier
Some Mac and cheese. They brought back macaroni and cheese with broccoli. Oh, my God. With broccoli. I have to get it.

Monica Padman
Oh, my God. The macaroni and cheese with broccoli is extremely nostalgic for me because I spent all my summers with my grandparents, and so my grandma, she would make food, but we just have frozen food all the time. And one of my favorites was the macaroni and cheese with broccoli. But then it went away. And so it's very nostalgic when you'd.

David Farrier
Eat that with your grand. Would you all be around a table? Would you be in front of the tv? The tv. In front of the tv.

Monica Padman
We watched all her soap operas. She had four or five soap operas. So we just sat in front of the tv and watched 8 hours of television and it was fine. No one even thought that was bad. What a life in all of this.

David Farrier
One mystery we can't solve. We can't find those fish sticks. Oh, here it is. Okay. Breaded fish.

Monica Padman
It's not really a fish stick, though. Ew. It's plant based. No, no, no. Thankfully, a staff member rescues us and takes us to a whole other section of frozen delights.

Speaker C
Boy, I think we do have them. Maybe they're here where the fish sticks are stored. Oh, there they are. Okay, so he's led us to a seafood section, and here is just a whole lot of fish. Yes.

Monica Padman
Fish sticks. As he said, it's a childhood staple. Fishy sticks secured. Our card is full, and it's time for the checkout. We look like doomsday preppers and we make a bet on what this will cost us.

David Farrier
I estimate this is going to cost 200 on the dot for me. Really? Okay, I'm gonna say 275. Do you ever get swayed by things at the checkout or the gum in the chocolate? Yes, I do.

Monica Padman
Almost always the gum. I always end up with a Snickers bar lining up. The woman in front of us actually seems quite delighted in our selection. She's sort of giggling to herself. I saw you eyeing up our trolley.

David Farrier
Are you jealous of our. No, I just like what's going on here. Me and Monica are living the american dream. A dream where everything is frozen, soon to be put in the microwave and turned into a delicious meal fit for a king. Or maybe a queen.

What do you think of all this? You got everything frozen, right? Yeah. Looking up, I see the man helping bag our food is the same delightful staff member who helped us locate those fish sticks. He told us he's a big frozen food fan himself.

Before sharing about his frozen food hack when he has friends over we worked. At a very fancy restaurant in San Francisco. And so I went to this party and I bought snack packed pudding. Do you know what that is? No.

Speaker C
Well, it used to come in little metal cans and it was just a little pudding about the size of cat food. Yeah. But I put them in ceramic things, like, as if it was fancy. And I mixed it with some whipping cream. Put whipping cream on top.

Oh, de creme. So delicious. It's almost better than Zuni's, which is where we work. And I was like, oh, I can't tell you. It's my own little secret.

But it was snack packed. You're the best. Thank you for helping us. Things packaged up, we pay. Which raises the big question.

David Farrier
How much did we pay? Who won the bet? All right, David, I have a big reveal. Okay. You have the receipt of how much this costs.

Monica Padman
We have four huge bags of food, and this costs us $157.47. That is actually incredible. I know. I feel like this could last us for the year. I think.

David Farrier
So we kind of answer the question of why people like frozen food. Exactly. Because it tastes good and it's affordable. You sounded so manic. Coked out of your mind and manic.

Monica Padman
No, you edited so much out. I mean, I think, really, I sounded crazier than I even got. Yeah, it was. I got the transcript because whenever I do these episodes, I get, you know, sort of half an hour of audio. I put it through, and this transcript was about five times longer than a typical transcript.

David Farrier
You were excited. It was cool to see. We didn't touch on the Stouffer's lasagna, which was a big part of our time at the grocery store. Lasagna was there because we got a. Couple family size items.

Monica Padman
One was the Stouffer's lasagna. The other was Stouffer's Mac and cheese, not with broccoli. Then I bought an individual stouffer's Mac and cheese with broccoli. There was a lot going on when you think back to that shopping trip, because obviously, I go back and I get this audio, and I chuck some things out. I put some things in.

David Farrier
Did I roughly capture the energy of that trip, do you think? I think you did. Like I said, I think if anything, you subdued it. It was a high, high experience. If anyone that's listening to this is one of those people that puts their podcasts on double speed.

This is where they would have had to hit regular speed because they'd be like, I cannot follow what you're saying. And we got the diner, you know, chicken nugget. We did so much that day, BTS, both of us walked to the grocery store. That's right. We didn't think about it.

There was a slight moment at the chickout. There's all these bags of frozen food that's now dethawing no car. I thought, I was like, we'll have two bags. That's easy to carry. No, we had enormous bags for so many.

So I waited with the frozen food. They're looking like a lunatic. This massive trolley of frozen food. I talked to a few more people as they came and went. People really liked what we'd done.

Monica Padman
Yes. You got the car and you kindly stored all of this in your freezer. I did. And there are pictures, and we will post the pictures. Yeah, it looked like an amazing.

David Farrier
Really made your freezer look. It was a vibe. It was. And I had to. I removed everything else from my freezer to put our contents in to fit it all.

Monica Padman
And it was kind of a puzzle. It was very fun. And also, it was really affordable, under $200 for so much stuff. And, yeah, you can see why it is a popular choice. Well, we spoke to the woman who was ringing us up.

We asked her, does anyone do this, what we are doing today? Do you ever see this? And she said, yes. A lot of older people buy purely frozen foods because it's easy and highly nutritious. Probably less trips to the grocery store.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It just sorts them out. Right. And there is another thing.

David Farrier
When you're old, I don't. This is really very accurate, but I feel like me freaking out about my cholesterol. Right. I'm gonna be really careful. I think when you're old, you're kinda like, you don't give a shit.

How much damage can you do in your final five years of life? It's small. I'm hoping to only eat Stouffer's Mac and cheese with broccoli. This is like a flash forward into the future.

Stay tuned for more flightless bird. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors. Flightless bird is supported by Quince. I've always wanted a little puffer jacket, and thanks to Quince, I now own one. And when it gets cold, which is going to be New Zealand in a month, yes, I'm going to be wearing it there.

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Monica Padman
I do get very excited about summer travel. Where's your favorite place to travel to in America? That's not going home? Like, where would you. New York.

New York? Yeah. Yeah. I think I am gonna go back in the summer. Very exciting.

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Of course, all this raises a question of what we were going to do. We had plans. All this frozen food. Oh, yeah, we had a plan. Back when we were shopping, Monica had made a statement.

Monica Padman
I'm not eating any of this. But that was before that wonderful staff member told us he had tricked his friends into thinking frozen foods was something fresh that he'd cooked up in his kitchen. It's eau de creme. So delicious. It's almost better than Zuni's, which is where we work.

Speaker C
And I was like, oh, I can't tell you. It's my own little secret. But it was snack packed. You're the best. Thank you for helping us.

David Farrier
Enjoy. And with that, an idea was born. Monica would throw a dinner party at her house with just the frozen foods we'd purchased. As I arrived at her house, I was hit with the smell of, well, a lot of things. Almost as if someone had bought a whole cart full of frozen foods and was cooking it all at once.

Monica Padman
These, I think, are overdone because I did two. They smell great. No, I'm gonna re. We have more. Thank God.

This is a distaste. This is the worst dinner party I've ever had. Monica was stressed. There were cardboard boxes everywhere, plates and trays over every surface. Monica was running between an overworked oven and an overworked microwave, stopping occasionally and brandishing a fork, violently stabbing the plastic wraps that covered many of the frozen food meals.

David Farrier
Now, you've got fish sticks here. Fish sticks. These are the fish sticks. They're gonna go in the oven. Now they're gonna go in for twelve minutes.

A few days earlier, I'd pitched the idea of not telling our guests it was frozen food, pretending it was Monica's cooking. But things have changed now. We were originally thinking of not telling your guests about the fact that it was going to be just frozen food. We were tricking everyone. I even told the whole audience I was Alison Roman's guest for her podcast live show, and I told the whole audience what we were doing.

How did that go across? I think that's where I was like, this is unethical, right? People, you could feel people going, oh. Yeah, I could also. Because some of these people, they keep texting and they're like, can't wait to eat your food.

Monica Padman
Oh, my gosh. So excited. Monica's cooking. It felt wrong. You're an ethical person, and I'm not.

David Farrier
That's what it comes down that I was. Yeah. I'm actually disappointed in myself in how ethical I ended up being. Cause it would have been fun. You've got a few things going at once at different times.

I hope you've got this under control. I don't. There's a lot to juggle. I think the pizza bites are gonna be ready in a second. Our guests are arriving, and so I leave Monica to her misery to go and keep them company.

Jess and Liz are sitting on a couch, and Eric has just arrived as well. And her and Anna are looking either excited or scared. I'm not sure which. So sorry, you were just saying when I walked in, you didn't grow up on frozen foods. No, I lived in Sweden from 1980 to 1980.

That explains that you weren't in America. But then in America, even in Burbank, I didn't have frozen foods a lot. Celeste. Pizzas was my frozen pizza that I remember liking it. Extra well done, crispy in the microwave.

Liz, what's your relationship with frozen food? My relationship with frozen food, I think, is healthy. I grew up in Canada. For me, it was a coming back from home from school situation. We would have michelinas.

Monica Padman
If it was in the freezer, it would get eaten. Curly fries, very prized possession, very important. And pizza. But again, it wouldn't stay very long in the freezer. Cause we would just eat it.

Cause it's delicious. If you went on a date and someone was gonna cook you dinner on the date and they did everything that's frozen food, how would you feel about that? I would hope they were honest about it and we would laugh about it, and then we would make out. I turn to Anna, who I've decided is definitely looking scared. Well, I never had it growing up.

David Farrier
Who did you grow up? Venezuela. And I feel bad saying this, but we judge it a little bit. Our culture, we cook a lot. You know, everything's homemade.

Anna
I eat everything but frozen food. Just kidding. So tonight, it is like you've walked into a kind of small nightmare. Yeah. But I'm excited.

That lasagna smells very good. I was trying to get Monica not to tell any of you what was happening. Just like Monica, that crash was Monica dropping something. To be fair, while we've talked in the lounge, she's been dealing with about 20 frozen meals in the kitchen, an oven and microwave working overtime. Some things are in for two minutes, others 13, others 25.

David Farrier
It's chaos. Biggest cooking nightmare to date was frozen food. Was frozen food. Okay. So anyway, I didn't want her to tell what was happening.

The idea was for her to, like, disguise the fact it was frozen. Monica's food is incredible. And then what would we do? And I've eaten lasagna that Monica made before. You say that's going to be different to the beautiful frozen lasagna we're going to have tonight?

Erica
I think so. It might be nostalgic. What's your relationship with frozen food? What's your opinion of it? Because it's a big part of being an american is that frozen food aisle aisles, that's a big part of my life.

So as a child, for sure, my mom's an incredible cook. But there was definitely, like, fish stick night. I'm the oldest kid of four. We for sure had frozen fish sticks. My brother is now in the food industry, and they interviewed him about something, and he said something about how he ate a lot of fish sticks.

And my mom was so offended. So now I'm, like, doubling down. I'm so sorry, mom. Is it about the fish stick? I don't know.

I think they're delicious. Is it like, mashed up fish in a stick? Yeah. Tilapia. Like a light fish.

And then you're gonna dip it in ketchup or tartar sauce. And then as an evolved woman now, I would not eat those, but I serve. I serve my kids frozen food almost every night. We talk about frozen food a lot. At one point debating if fresh vegetables or frozen vegetables are the most healthy.

David Farrier
Liz finds a website that claims freezing produce at its peak. Ripeness preserves nutrients, ensuring you get the maximum nutrient nutritional value. I guess fresh food is not as good as I think it is. And with that, Monica walks in announcing our frozen dinner extravaganza is ready. Frozen dinner, pre social media.

Monica Padman
Plate together. Picture a beautiful dining room, a long table set with exquisite napkins, candlestick holders, and cutlery. We're surrounded by beautiful art and laid out on the table, nothing but plate after plate of recently unfrozen food. It has an aesthetic to it, though, right? I'm into it.

It harkens back to a simpler time. You know, and thinking back to that ice, episode 58, it does harken back to a simpler time. This is Reid talking, that journalist I told you about who researched the history of ice. So the frozen food and the way ice relates to frozen food really ties into, I think, America's pre industrial past. So you've got this era where the country is very agrarian, and you've got local markets for food, and everything's highly seasonal.

Reid Mittenboule
And as soon as ice comes into the picture, you're able to ship food further, you're able to preserve it for longer. So it's changing America's diet, and it allowed the cities to explode in the US. Now it's like you can move into the city and you can preserve food, and you can get stuff from markets that are further and further away. So you see this transformation, and it is right around the middle of the 19th century, mid 18 hundreds, when cities are really starting to explode and you start to see that transition from an agrarian to an industrial society. So ice played a huge part of that.

So it really did transform the country. And here we are in that transformed country, about to treat our taste buds. I was asking Monica about what wine pairs with this food. Do you have any answers? So we go white, red, sparkling.

Erica
She had a nice white wine that would pair with this chicken pot pie. And, yeah, we feast. Okay, you're in the chicken pot pie. I can taste this before I'm even putting it in my mouth. This breading is gonna be so soggy and so delicious with this.

David Farrier
Mmm. The chicken pot pie is good, right? It's creamy. That looks like the sloppiest steak I've ever seen. That doesn't look like me.

Monica Padman
It's a Salisbury steak. I thought this was gonna be a mozzarella stick and it was a fish stick. I need to douse it down with some lasagna. What's the ego? Lego my eggo?

David Farrier
What does that even mean? You let go of it. Somebody. As soon as it pops out of the toaster, somebody's gonna take it. One of your siblings, your dad is gonna take a bite.

Erica
These are the commercials. The kid puts it in there and it pops up and the dad walks by and wants to take a bite. Lego my ego. Hey. Lego my ego.

Calvin
Lego my ego. Jessica. I'm not quite sure if it's the carbs or the sugar or maybe those frozen vegetables, but things are getting lively. Pizza in the morning. Pizza evening.

Monica Padman
Pizza at supper time. When you can serve on a bagel. You can eat pizza anytime. What the fuck was that? Bagel bites me in the morning.

Erica
Pizza is an eating pizza. Oh, God. So the ads are imprinted for some of these products. Oh, my God. Absolute and hot pockets.

Saw those in the fridge. That's right. As well as a lot of singing, there's also a lot of nostalgia. Nostalgia that's been frozen for decades now. Defrosted and unleashed.

David Farrier
Erica remembers how when she was a kid, their family had an extra freezer in the garage just to cope with all the frozen food. You grew up with a big, like, an extra freezer? Extra freezer in the garage full of these bagel bites. Bagel bites. Cause I'm the oldest of four and we were a hangout house.

Erica
My mom would cook nice meals, but then this would be like, your friends are over and we're gonna put tons of those in and everybody's gonna eat bagel bites. So you weren't preppers. It was more just you had a lot of people around. We did grow up Mormon, so we weren't not prefers. It's a really, really great night.

David Farrier
These foods have unleashed a lot of memories. And, yeah, more singing. This is another classic. Stouffer's Mac and cheese. Nothing comes closer to home.

That's not it. Oh, shit. I think that's right. Go again. That was a good pitch trip.

Monica Padman
Do it. You gotta learn it too. Stow first. Nothing comes closer to home. Nailed it.

Nailed it. This is showcased in home alone. Oh. Kevin makes a stouffer's Mac and cheese that he bought himself at the grocery store. And now a massive skeptic down the end.

David Farrier
How do you feel and what did you make of the night? I feel my cholesterol going up little by little. Just kidding. No, just kidding. I actually didn't hate it.

Anna
I feel good. Fish sticks are a big now. The pot pies are big now. And the rest of it, it's okay. Amazing.

Erica
Potpai is the only thing that's gone. Uh huh. To be fair, it's the only thing that's totally gone. And over those 2 hours we spent feasting and talking and laughing, I think I realized what makes frozen food so important for Americans. Sure, it's nostalgia and it's efficiency and speed.

David Farrier
It's a warm, quick meal on the table. But more than anything, it's the fact that all of those things have been an unchanging, reliable part of american life for decades now. The same tastes, the same reliable food, just ready to go whenever you are. And like, a warm meal, even one that was frozen 20 minutes ago, that's really comforting. Some things don't change, you know, in.

Monica Padman
An ever changing world, it's kind of nice. I feel really good. I feel like I've returned home. I like it. I like it.

I like what we did today. Will our fingers be swollen tomorrow, is the question. Well, mine will. Cause I burned them all. You did burn.

It hurt a few things. Yeah. You were just racing around, baking so much stuff. Well, I think I definitely underestimated how difficult it would be to juggle the cooking of all of these things. Yeah, well, everything has a different time.

Yeah, definitely. And there's limited space. Limited space. Did you have eleven timers going? No, I was.

David Farrier
You were mentally calculating it all. I was, but I got a little willy nilly. Cause ultimately it's cooked. We're just heating shit through so there's no danger. Exactly.

Now, Rob, you were invited. I'd like to say you, for some reason. Weird. You had something on. Yeah.

You know? Did you? You know, I have two children. I was not. Yeah, he abandoned ship.

You missed a delicious spread. And listening back to that, much like you in that grocery store, everyone got so high and so happy. They really did. There is something beautiful about nostalgia across the board. Right.

Monica Padman
Whether it's food or songs or anything, the transport from adult to kid is a lovely love. Yeah. And I think it was Jess that mentioned it as well, that the kind of neat thing is the recipes for a lot of this stuff hasn't changed. And it's like you are unfreezing, literally, what you ate, you know, 30 years ago, it's the same thing. And that's something I hadn't really clocked.

David Farrier
That's kind of amazing. And so you are transported back through taste and smell to childhood. And people were coming up with stories from their childhood and the songs that stuck. Yeah. It was incredible.

Monica Padman
Update, Jess, after that meal. Oh, the fish stick disaster. Oh, yeah. Okay, so the fish sticks were a problem. One, because I didn't have ketchup, which I could not believe.

David Farrier
Shocking. Shocking. That was shocking. And they're required to eat with ketchup. Okay.

You need to dip. Yes, you need to dip them. And unfortunately, the fish sticks have gotten much fishier, which means they're using probably real fish as opposed to whatever crap we were eating. But the more real it was, the less good it was. It hit hard, and I think there's that thing with fish for me, I feel if it's not fresh, I get a bit scared.

That fishy smell that was hitting all. Of us, that scared us a bit, Jess. Okay. Yeah. No update the next day.

Monica Padman
He's dead. We haven't heard from him just since. He's doing great. Haven't heard from him? No.

He went back and he bought the chicken nuggets and he bought the pot pie. Get out. Oh, so he wanted. Oh, he was playing it a bit coy. Exactly.

David Farrier
He was right. He was acting like he was above it a little bit, even though there's no one less above anything in this world than Jess. So I was like, what are you doing? You're playing a little game with us. And I was completely right.

Monica Padman
I was right. That chicken pot pie was the only thing that vanished completely. I was shook by the Salisbury steak the whole time. I thought it was a solid bit of sinewy, chewy steak that had frozen. It's like a small sausage texture.

Sausage y meatloaf. Yeah. And it was delicious. I loved all of it. It was all friggin delicious.

What was your favorite? Chicken pot pie. Okay. Yeah. The Mac and cheese with brock was great.

David Farrier
And I love that healthy broccoli in there. No, I mean, Mac and cheese is one of my favorite things about the United States. I'll get it whenever I can, and it's just so, so, so good. And that. My first chicken pot pie.

Yeah, I get it. And what about Digiorno? Love the digiorno. So digiorno. I mean, the only thing in there that I think I struggled with was probably the fish sticks for the reasons we've mentioned.

And just there being too much good food there, I couldn't eat it all. There was too much. You know, I also did make another blunder. I didn't dethaw the desserts, which was the satin cake and the Pepperidge farm chocolate cake. I didn't know that I had to dethaw them.

Okay, so while you bring this up, I snuck away while you guys were chatting and sort of had a bit of a chew on those half frozen. You did treats. And they were really good. Even half frozen. Yeah.

Monica Padman
Okay. Yeah, yeah. A little hack. I don't think they need to be completely dethawed. Okay.

David Farrier
They just taste nice and cold. They kind of like, wash down the saltiness of all the other foods. You know, I will say that is the remaining flavor at the end of the night is salt. Like, there is so much salt in those. I woke up at about three in the morning and I was just so thirsty.

Yeah, I like big glass of water. It was really gnarly. Yeah. Did you get into any of the nutritional value of frozen food? Because what I've heard is that when you freeze it, it loses its nutritional value.

A lot of the websites were like, as far as the vegetables go, it says it's all good. It almost can be better because you're getting it at its peak. At its peak. And pfas, we talked a little bit about the forever chemicals. I haven't done research on this, but I have heard that frozen vegetables actually have lower forever chemicals than definitely canned.

Monica Padman
And I think some people were saying real vegetables. Cause you do have to be sprayed and stuff with all of those chemicals. It does sound like we're in the pockets of big frozen food. I'm happy to be, but no, if. Anyone is listening to this who is a nutritionist or a scientist and has any firsthand info on the nutritional value, I'd love to hear from you.

David Farrier
Just slide into our DM's. I've heard that, but I don't know if it comes from a scientist. Yeah, this was an episode where we just sort of ate and felt good about ourselves. It was so fun. It was really fun.

I would go back for more. Great. I'll do another dinner party. In retrospect, I'm sad we couldn't execute the trick. The trick.

But also replating some of these delicious items. I just think the dino shaped nuggets. How would we have. You should have got like, dino cookie cutters and like, sprinkled them around the house. You're just so beautifully done.

Monica Padman
The fish sticks from scratch. Yeah. There is a certain quality of frozen foods. You know it when you try it. Right.

David Farrier
I think it wouldn't have worked. The only thing I could have potentially got away with is the lasagna. Making the lasagna, putting it into a different dish, maybe the Mac and cheese, but other than that, I don't think so. Bagel bites. I made my own bagel bites.

Rob
You should do that next, though. Do a party where you recreate. That would be frozen ones or like. A heightened version of what we had. That would be good.

David Farrier
That would be really good. I suggest it as a fun night, just as an adult do a frozen food night. It was a really good time. It sounded like we were all drunk. We weren't.

That was just the high of having frozen foods, and it was just a really good night. So thanks for hosting us. Of course. I hope your place didn't stink out too much. No, it smelled perfect.

Okay. Cool smell perfect. Tasted perfect. Yeah. High recommend a frozen food night.

And I would argue, when I was full of all of that frozen food, I would say I was almost 100% american. Physically, I was full of all this american food. And you really clicked into the nostalgia. You heard some nostalgic stories of american. You have nice friends as well.

Good crew. Thank you. Really good crew. I agree. Thanks, Monica.

Monica Padman
Bye. What did we just watch? The Lord of the Rings. The two towers. What happened?

Calvin
There's a war. And they're getting ready for the war. And they're trying to break the ring into the volcano, and they're getting ready for the war. Who's the war between? The orcs and the good guys.

Rob
Who are the good guys? There's elves, there's hobbits, and there's men. And who's your favorite? The elves. Do you have a favorite elf?

Calvin
I just, like. I forgot the name, but I call it Lego. Lego Oss. He had Lego in it. What else happened in this movie?

They were in the mountains and they found, when they're sleeping, there's the golem. And it was trying to steal the ring. Mm hmm. What were the other hobbits doing? The other hobbits were with the trees and they're speaking to them so they can help them win the war, but there's gonna be a big war.

And at the end, the bad guys were trying to kill the Golem when he was good. And they said, no, wait, can I talk to him? And then he said, come here, master. And then the golem said, right now. And I said, come here.

I'm your master. Master needs you. And then he came, and then they just grabbed them. And now he thinks he tricked him, so now he's trying to kill him. And then he'll have the ring.

Rob
Tell me about Gollum. Gollum. He's trying to, like, sneak around and say he's bad. Let's get the precious and kill him. And the good go and say, no, no.

Calvin
Master's good. Master is good. We will not click. Master, do you remember what the good golem's name is? The good one is Smeagol.

Rob
Did you like this one better than the first one? Yes, because of a big roar. And we saw the volcano. What's the significance of the volcano. There's, like, these dragons and there's these guys with Noah that.

Calvin
There's these ghosts and guarding it with dragons. I think I'm gonna like the third one the most. Why is that? Because it's gonna have the volcano and it's gonna be the main thing. Okay.

Rob
Is there anything else you wanna say before we go? Uh, like. And subscribe? Exclamation mark. My name's Calvin.

Calvin
Like and subscribe. Bye.

Flightless Bird: Frozen Food

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Episode Summary

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Episode Chapters

1: Introduction to Frozen Foods

2: Grocery Store Adventure

3: The Dinner Party

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