Amy Poehler Returns

Dan Shepherd
Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert. I'm Dan shepherd, and I'm joined by Misses Padman. Hi. What a fucking treat. What a major, major treat.

Babers is here. Amy Poehler, our north star. Both of our favorite comedians. I know a God walking among us. I can't believe she's sat in this very seat because she farted.

Well, I doubt she did. She's very classy, in addition to being so talented, but just outrageously grateful about the conversation we had. Me too. And I thought she was really showed the very beautiful, tender side of herself that is just really. I feel honored.

Yeah, big time. Poehler is, of course, an actor, a comedian, a writer, a producer, a director, a creator of a comedy empire, UCB. Done every single thing someone could do. Parks and recreation, SNL, inside out, mean girls, baby mama. Ding, ding, ding.

Carl Loomis. She has a new movie out in theaters this Friday. Inside out, too. I can't wait. Yes, inside out.

The first one was so perfect. It was one of the first gifts you gave to the kids. Do you remember that? No, I don't. You gave the dvd to Lincoln.

Cause it was one of your favorite. You thought it really helped you understand your feelings. Can't believe you don't remember that. I don't. Very sweet gift.

Amy Poehler
Aw. Well, inside out, too, has got a bunch of new characters, which is appropriate because our lead character is going through puberty. So anxiety shows up, embarrassment. In addition to inside out two. You should check out a new podcast she's producing with two of her best friends called women talking about murder.

And stick around for the fact check. We're gonna play some clips. Yes, please enjoy our friend, our sweetest babies, Amy Poehler. We are supported by Uber Eats. Spring is here, and now you can get almost anything you need for your sunny days delivered with ubereats.

Dan Shepherd
What do we mean by almost? Well, you can't get a well groomed lawn delivered, but you can get chicken parmesan delivered. A cabana, that's a no, but a banana? That's a yes. A nice tan?

Sorry, no, but a box fan? Happily, yes. A day of sunshine. No. A box of fine wines.

Yes. Uber Eats can definitely get you that. Get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets.

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He's an object expert.

He's an object expert.

Amy Poehler
Gonna get a tea? Cause I'm a tea. You're a tea gal. A tea boy. I'm a tea boy.

Rob
I'm a grade a tea boy. Rob, that wasn't helpful. You were supposed to take the tea pack. No, I'm looking at the temperature. Oh, wow.

Dan Shepherd
Oh, wow. Wow. If I may. Good job, Rob. Boil it, baby.

Amy Poehler
212. Because I like to drink it like the Brits. So you gotta do high boil and. Then little milk so you can get it to 214. It's not supposed to be possible.

Dan Shepherd
Science tells us it's not possible. I can't believe I'm meeting Wabi. Wab and Monica. I've never met you in public. I hate that.

Amy Poehler
But I'm so. I'm so thrilled to see you. Can we take a second to recognize how insanely cute, cute wabiwab is? Were you expecting to be that cute? Well, I've seen pictures of wabiwab online.

Dan Shepherd
Sure. Cause I've seen him in some of the promotional materials, and I'm curious. Do you sit back there? I do sit back there. Just running the board.

Can I tell you one funny story? Yeah. So we had Wiz Khalifon. From researching him, I knew there's no way this dude can get through 2 hours without smoking weed. So I said, please feel free to smoke weed.

So we have the window open or whatever, and he's smoking. And I thought he would smoke a joint or something, but he smoked six in a row for the entire. And I had this moment where I was like, I'm a little high. And then I look over at Monica, and Monica has this. Here's Monica.

She's like this. No. And I go, oh, my God. Monica's baby. Here's the best part, Rob.

I've never seen this in my life. I look over and Rob's like this. He sits like this, but Rob is like, oh, sir.

Amy Poehler
Jeez. Rachel drash has a really funny story about being at an SNL after party, and someone gave her black crowd, crow's weed. Okay. Specially she couldn't get out of her. Cause she's not a weed smoker.

Rob
She smoked just a little bit, and she just stayed in her chair for, like, 5 hours until somebody rescued her. Oh, my God, you guys. I'm just hiking in the attic here. We're so. I don't wanna rush.

I feel like I know everything in this room because I am the ultimate armchair. That is the ultimate. I think my favorite feather in the cap is the fact that when you text me to say you like an episode, I really. Each time I think she's just being really nice. I stopped a little bit because I was like, it's too much.

Dan Shepherd
It will never be too much. Okay, good. Two more. I mean, I don't even know where to begin with how much I like it. Even if you have rolling thoughts, like, in the morning, you're like, hey, love the Maya episode.

Rob
Just a little bit of feedback later. You'Re like, yeah, this one part, I could do an all day stream of your reaction. Oh, my God, I love it so much. And I was seeing a Dax that I was listening to when I was on before, which kind of is in that wasteland of 2021 and watching us on Zoom and just feeling like, whoa, that was 100 years ago. It felt so far away.

But you guys had already been doing it for two years probably at that point. When did you start? 2019? 2018. Six and a half years in, I.

Had already been listening. I mean, I've listened since day one. Oh, my God. I think when Dax first told me so much, Rob. Good job, Rob.

Amy Poehler
He heated it to the right. He's handing me a tea. I really appreciate it. Thank you so much, Rob. Is it hot as Hades?

Rob
It is. It's the correct british way. Do we need milk with it? That's the really correct british. I don't want to be.

I feel like Rob has sat down now and I don't want to ask him to get back up. I'm happy to go get you some milk. Yeah, please. And thank you. I'd love some milk and some sugar.

Dan Shepherd
Some regular milk. That's how I do it. Yes. That's the british way. It's the british way.

Rob
Sorry, Rob. It's the only way. It is. It is the only way. But when Dax told me that you listened, or I think he sent me, he probably betrayed your trust and sent me a screen grab of a text.

Dan Shepherd
You'd be fine with that? It's a compliment. Everything I text, I try to assume some date could be published. Exactly. Truly, it's the best moment that's happened in six and a half years, for sure.

Amy Poehler
Including Matt Damon. Whoa. That was the highlight. I could not believe that you were listening. Wow.

It was so special. Of course I would listen to babers. But hold on, though, I could make an argument in many ways. You wouldn't. Really?

Dan Shepherd
Yes, because I think if I've ever met anyone very similar, you and I are many hot heads, justice warriors, chip on our shoulder, analyzing everyone's intentions and motives. So in some weird way, I can imagine you going like, ugh. Well, I love podcasts. That's my thing. I love listening to them.

Rob
It's kind of replaced a lot of things for me, living in LA, driving, listening. But like you, I love trying to figure out humans. And when you're listening, it's safe. Like, you're listening to a conversation, you're having your thoughts about it, but I'm processing it on my own. It's why podcasts are great.

You listen on your own. Yeah. And you don't have to worry about your face betraying you. You can almost react in a way. Cause certainly there's moments in here where I wanna go, like, you know, give a.

Dan Shepherd
Whoa. Yeah, but I'm not free to do that. I know, but you kind of are. I love what you guys do because I feel like I'm in the deep end with most of my conversations now. I just want to kind of get into the deep end.

Yes. Impatient to get there. But it's hard when you're doing work or you don't want to do deep end conversations with people that you don't know or you can't. I don't know. So you don't know their comfort level.

Rob
The small talk is hard. We gotta get right there. I actually feel more comfortable there because I think maybe, like you, I'm working on it, but I'm pretty hyper vigilant, so I wanna know who I'm dealing with. I know. So, babers, it is a curiosity of.

Mine because I'm working on it. On the surface. Mom and dad are married. Yeah. And Bill's a little.

Yeah. Don't have a very high ace score. Okay, great. So this is one of my questions. I've taken the test.

Dan Shepherd
You have? Did you take it a few times to see if you could get your number up a little bit? Yeah, I did that. Playing it fast and loose with food scarcity. Like we didn't have Kraft brand macaroni and cheese.

That counts. Yeah. Thank you, Rob. Sorry to make you leave the. Leave the attic.

I'm loving watching this. I really appreciate you doing that. Thank you. And I'm sorry you had to leave. I'm sorry.

Rob
Okay. Okay. Ace score. Hypervigilance. Yeah, I'm working on it.

To answer your question, why, I'm not quite sure. I think I was born with it a little bit. I think I was a little parentified. My parents were young. What's parentified?

Okay. Like, you become the parent. Oh, right, right, right. The responsible one. Yeah.

My parents were really young, loving parents, but young. We kind of grew up together. So I think I felt from an early age, I have to pay attention here. It's my job, too. I might be asked to take the wheel at any moment.

Yeah, I felt that from a very early age, like eight or nine. I remember. Maybe it's just ego or. I don't know what it is. I'm working on it.

But I definitely felt like. I think I'm in charge here. Yeah. And you talk a little bit about it, too, but I just felt out of my body a little bit and aware of surroundings early, and then I got rewarded for it. Positive feedback loop.

Dan Shepherd
Well, this was gonna be one of my questions and much later, but I feel like every time I do bump into you, you and I are on a similar self exploration path. Or maybe you'll bring up something you've been mulling around, and I'll think, oh, yeah, that's really fun to think about. I'm gonna try that. I was wondering. We have our story, and our story explains why we are the way we are.

And it's so comforting, right? Rolling around in it, frolicking in the story, and then this kind of disruptive thing happens where you have children. And one of my two children, Lincoln, she has all the shit I have without any of the reasons I gave myself for being this way. And I'm more and more happy to maybe consider, like, oh, no, man. It was all genetics.

The story is just something you've put on top of it. And I'm just curious if you've had that experience with kids and if it's, like, poked holes at all in your story. Big time. Some of it is watching codependency, what it looks like for them, and realizing, right, I did that. I still do that.

Rob
Seeing that, and then having a kid that is really different than you, that's also a big one. Like, if they're an island, you're a wave kind of thing, but deeper than the kid thing. If you're getting older and you're doing any work on yourself, there just becomes like an end of act two moment and an embarrassment. Right. It's so embarrassing.

Like all these. I always. I never. I'm this kind of person. So gross.

Because it's not really true or even really true anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe it's just an old story. And then you gotta start practicing your backhand, basically. What is your backhand?

The thing that you can do? You just don't do it as much or as often. Do you wanna practice that in act three? But it's so funny you say that. On my way here, I was thinking, I wonder what version of myself will show up in this interview.

Amy Poehler
Oh. Oh, that's fun. I want it to be the authentic version, but I was nervous because I could bring a different version if I wanted to. Well, you have one that produces great results. This was another one of my highlighted words I just wanted to talk about was performative.

Rob
Yes, dude. As a concept. Let me back up. You're in therapy, I imagine. Yes, I'm in group therapy and individual.

Dan Shepherd
Oh, my goodness. And guess what's coming back? Couples therapy. Guess what, motherfucker. What?

She was sitting right where you're sitting five days ago. So, you know, I'm so obsessed with couples therapy that I do a fake podcast where I play a couples therapist named Doctor Sheila. Thank you, Dex. Due to legal reasons. And I'm obsessed and you are too.

Rob
Why do you think we are? Why are we obsessed with couples? Well, I'm obsessed with all of it. I love Ornn. I love anyone that does a good job at anything.

Amy Poehler
So she's. Her hair and her ability to just look and not talk is crazy. And it just pulls out the thing in the other person that they don't even know. It's so under the surface, and all of a sudden, this, like, recluse is crying and opening. It's unbelievable.

Rob
And then also, I'm obsessed with, why is she doing it? Oh, we get into that one. Okay. Can't wait to hear then the couples. Thank you for your service.

Truly and not in a million years, babers. For me, no way. Yeah. That's too much. Yes.

Dan Shepherd
In you and I, this is where we diverge a little bit. We do have different comfort levels with that. We do. And I guess probably my explanation. My story is aa for 20 years.

I was like, I get so used to fucking strangers are there, and I'm talking about shitting the bed in an orgy. And we move on. And I live. I'm working on this is gonna sound so cheesy, this connection, but this is why I'm like, I'm gonna do TikTok this year, because I know this is. I know you referenced TikTok in an.

Rob
Interview, but the connection, really, it's bigger than that, which is, how do you allow yourself to be seen? You have to allow yourself to be seen or known. Sometimes as I get older, I realize, am I truly known? It's like a deep ache. You want to be known.

So it's kind of like, how much do you give away? Who can you do it with and to. You want to be doing. You don't want to feel lonely. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
Babers, you're emotional about being known. It's part of it to be known, but also to know yourself, or do you feel like you 100%? The more than I feel sad for the parts of me that didn't allow myself to be out there and be known, which is why couples therapy is so fascinating to me. It's like this combination of and therapy in general, being tender and being known and then also setting good boundaries and taking care of yourself. It's deep stuff.

Rob
I just love it. Does that make sense? It does. My kind of recent breakthrough with this attempt at therapy, my most recent attempt, which is going on for two and a half years. And this is your first time you've ever done therapy?

Dan Shepherd
Yeah. Like, I did couples therapy. I saw one person for a minute, maybe two different people. The real thing that happened in this one, that's magic. I assess this guy immediately as someone that could care less if he got my approval.

That's an important aspect for me in the equation. Do you sense that? Yes. Honestly, my job in therapy is to just straight up therapy 101. Feel my feelings.

Rob
Barf? No, thank you. Fucking barf. It always comes back to the pause of just, could you sit in that feeling? It's so annoying.

I want to get into the action. I want to get into, frankly, the more heady approval stuff. Solution, babe. Yes. I want to think about status and power.

I want to talk about all this stuff. I want to be victorious over it. And I just want to get in. In my head, but it's just. Feel your feelings.

What are you feeling? Does it make you sad? And it's like, yes, makes me sad. Does it make you angry? Yes.

And it's just like, stay there for a minute, and you're just like, are you kidding me? Yeah. Is yours a man or a woman? I have a woman. And was that intentional?

I've had both. I've had a few therapists, and I've had mostly women, and I've had a man, and that was interesting, too, I have to say. With the male therapist, I felt a little more performative. And do you have any bias? Is there one gender that's harder to trust than the other for you?

Well, what I respond to, I feel like, again, a story that I take care of myself and a lot of people like that. I'm a big caretaker. I get a lot of pride from it. I think you do too. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
Esteem. You've created an actual cult and a family here, and there's a mommy and a daddy and a baby, and everyone's married. So I want to be the cult leader. Like, I don't want to be in the cult, but I think sometimes I want to be very little to someone's big. I love being little.

Amy Poehler
Getting taken care of. Yes. You want to feel tiny. Yes. This is why you and I have a good rhythm.

Rob
That's why I love your giantness. And I want to protect you. I know. And so I like therapists that are a little bossy and big. So I guess it's kind of what you're saying.

I can't bowl them over or win them over or impress them or trick them. I like kind of being. It's like the high powered CEO being the sub. I'm obsessed with sub and Dom in general. Dom in a lot of my life, I don't always want to be that way.

Dan Shepherd
Yes. Especially in intimate relationships. Is it a rejection thing? Is it you're protecting yourself so much because you're worried about rejection or fear of rejection. Interesting.

Rob
I don't know if it's as much that as it is just the relief of being not in control. Cause I love control. It's why Covid sent me over the edge. And I'm always realizing I'm not in control. That's a thing I have to keep remembering.

Dan Shepherd
This is very timely. So the one that's like me or that I am like her and she's her own person, police myself, be open to the fact she's her own person. I know. And it'll change, too. That's weird.

She has a really hard time going to sleep, as I have always had, and I'm watching her just battle it. I always describe it like, getting into bed, to me, is like getting in the cage with a tiger. Ooh. It's so funny you say that. I used to fight bedtime as a kid all the time, too.

Rob
It felt like a challenge. Do you know why it's hard to control when you are unconscious. Now, I love bedtime. I think about bedtime all day. I dream about bedtime.

I can't wait for that. You're a bedtime boy. I'm such a bedtime boy. Don't you use that picture of me. I see the pictures that you use.

Rob loves to use open mouth pictures. She has a problem with bedtime. Yeah. And again, she also hates instruction, just like I do. Right.

Dan Shepherd
She doesn't want to learn from anybody but herself. And so last night was particularly gruesome. And I said to her, all I'm asking for tonight is just start imagining what surrender looks like. For me, surrender is the hardest thing in the world. But I don't think you can.

Try to go to sleep. Yeah, when you try to go to sleep, it can't happen. You just have to surrender and try to read a book and try to listen to an audiobook. Forget about sleeping. Consider the idea of surrendering and then can be a victory.

Rob
Can I ask you something about that? Because do you feel when you share your stories with your kids, because what's coming up for me. What's coming up for me, you know, is that. Doctor, thank you. Is that.

Sometimes I see them disconnect when I'm talking. I mean, it happens with us already in life when just anyone that's older than us and we're like, well, you know, when I got my first job, and you're just like, it's not like that anymore. Your experience is different. Does that ever happen when you share, you know, the way I do it. It'S gotta be really, really specific and thoughtful.

Dan Shepherd
And if it's about, like, oh, when I was a kid, I didn't have a swimming pool. Yeah. If I'm comparing two things that are different. No, but if I. It's about the feeling.

Yes. A great example is she's in the backseat, and she was just at friend's house who were Christian. They prayed at the dinner table, and she felt really weird and that maybe they wouldn't like her. Cause she didn't believe that. And I didn't cut to how to deal with it.

I just went like, oh, my God, I remember that so well. There were so many kids I grew up with. You'd be at that table, and they're all praying, and you're like, are they gonna look at me? I think my only goal is to let them know, like, you're not alone or weird in this experience and this person you're seeing who's fully functional and has created this world you live in also had all that stuff. So why do you have to do the second part, which is giving her the tip of how to go to sleep?

Rob
Because I'm here as a challenger. Yes. The idea of surrender. I'm asking for myself too. No, no.

Dan Shepherd
Really challenge. Why can't we stop at the empathy part and not have to give the fix part? Well, because she is eleven and she is dealing with insomnia and I've been dealing with it for as long as I can remember and I have acquired some tools. I didn't figure out until eight years ago that a book on tape is the perfect level of distraction. So I can't focus on the going to sleep.

It seemed crazy not to offer that to her or if she ends up being an addict. And I know about aa and I don't say it to her, but I think what's key, or at least how I receive stuff, is like, I'm not telling her what to do, I'm telling her what's worked for me. So I've got teens now and I am learning, though, the way to keep them talking is to not do the second part. Is to do the part of that happened to me. Two.

Rob
It is hard to go to sleep, period. The end. Yeah. As well intentioned and as sensitive and thought out and connected is the second part is. Yeah.

I think it gets kids feeling like expectation. They want to do it for you. I see exactly what you're saying. I agree with you. And I think it's aspirational because the.

Challenger part of me, even the most soft version of that in my head, I'd be like, well, I've tried that. I'm doing that. I know that. And exacerbates maybe the frustration she's already feeling. Like it almost presents the fact that there is a solution.

Dan Shepherd
She's just not using it. You're right. Ideally, I would never do it unless they directly asked me for advice. Because it seems like you're having a hard time with her insomnia. You've said a couple times that it reminds you of your insomnia.

Rob
So I'm just saying, you know, like, I know people do this, but she's gonna go to sleep. It's gonna work itself out. She's not going to die. She's going to figure out how to go to sleep. Sleep deprivation.

She's going to figure it out. It's interesting. You might be uncomfortable with her insomnia. Well, you know, it's even more direct. I'm not Kristen is.

Dan Shepherd
And I'm also trying to. You're trying to navigate. Yeah. You know the Covenant. Two of my three gals are tore up about this thing, and then the dude in me is like, okay, fix.

Amy Poehler
It, if I may. The dude in you is like, I'll fix it in a very sneaky way where they think I'm just sharing my aa version of my story, but I am telling her to surrender because nothing works more than when you tell someone to surrender. Yeah, when you machiavellian. I relate. I want to fix it.

Rob
I definitely have that vibe. I don't think it's binary, though. I don't think you can have an approach, which is I don't ever give advice, or I do give advice. I just find for me, when I start to, it's where I lose them. The results are clear.

Amy Poehler
But part of it's ego, right? Cause you wanna be someone who is good at giving advice. I think all three of us here like that. Okay, let me ask you this. Cause I had a therapist ask me this one time, and I loved it.

Rob
What do you do when people don't take your advice? What does it bring up? Like, I'm not worthy. Yes. Like, oh, what I said was, I guess, or you wasted my time.

You get mad. Yeah, exactly. Same. I friggin love advice. You love giving it or receiving it?

I love giving it. It's hard for me to receive. I don't know exactly. We're waving our hands, like right now, when people say, you know what you should do? It's like the sound of a ball.

Dan Shepherd
I'm going off 70% of the sentences my brother starts is, you know what I would do if I were you? And I'm like, yeah, this is. How about when someone's like, have you ever thought. And I'm like, it's like, I can't even earplugs in. To me, it's the person.

Amy Poehler
If the person who's trying to give me advice I know is also very receptive to advice, they themselves have taken in a lot of advice. I am more willing. But if it's not someone who I think is very good at receiving and then they're trying to give, I'm like, no, no, you don't get to do that. Totally the right person in the right way, but I notice it. Luckily, I have a tool or a trick now where I can put my foot in the door for a second longer and be like, oh, okay, hold on, something's happening.

Rob
But yes, go ahead. Even that's enough. But I didn't realize that when I was getting it back, I would just start shutting down. But I was so good at fooling people, they didn't know. I was like, thank you.

Thank you. Yes. So good. Thank you. And then I just didn't receive it.

Dan Shepherd
So do you feel seen when I talk about. I have done myself such a disservice by not calling people along the way that were already in the same station and say, hey, what's the ride been like for the last three years? What should I look out for? I completely relate. And I have been trying to fix that because women who are about ten years older than me are so prime time for me.

Rob
I'm so blown away by how helpful they are just even being around them. I don't ask specifically enough. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm working on it.

Because when I do, I feel like a watered plant or something. But I am the same. I love being a mentor. Of course, my dream. It's the best feeling in the world.

Dan Shepherd
Let me applaud you. You're a fucking great. We have people in here endlessly who you have played a role in their journey to where they wanted to get. You were great at it. Well, it's like my forehand.

Rob
I love it. I gotta work on my back. So I can see several different motivations for not availing yourself to advice. I know a few of mine, and I'm curious what your explanation is. Because I think maybe it would expose the fact that I don't belong here to ask.

Dan Shepherd
And that's a great fear of mine. Like, do I really belong here? And if I'm actually admitting to you, I'm not sure how to navigate this. I'm really exposing myself. Is maybe not belonging here.

Is that part of it? Or is it more like it's a weakness? Okay, I'll get vulnerable here. Monica, I feel this way about relationship. Maybe you do too.

Rob
But you know I'm single. When people talk about relationships, it's just like, if they don't do it the right way, it's so wrong. And you just don't know what to say other than, like, just do it the right way. I can't tell you. But if you say anything wrong, I just can't.

So I think it's less imposter syndrome and more just, like, true vulnerability and sensitivity to being afraid that they're gonna get something wrong about you. I think it just comes back to if I open up and say, what do you think I should do? And someone gives me advice that isn't right. It's like they don't actually know me. That's the part that makes me feel sad.

Dan Shepherd
Yes. And then also now they think something. Wrong about me, and I didn't say it right to them. I always feel so bad. I'm like, no, I didn't mean it like, that.

Rob
Miscommunication is so sad for me. It makes me feel disconnected. I've done it three times this year, and it's the first three times in my entire life. You've gone out to a mentor. I've asked people if I can talk to them for a while.

I gotta do that more. That's gonna be a goal. It was when wrestling with this fear of a loss of relevance, which I can barely admit out loud, that that's something I will ruminate on, and then that my financial trajectory would take that down a cliff. Huge economic insecurity. All three people I asked advice for who had been further along down the path in a very similar path, they didn't have great advice, but commiserating with them and sharing that we both have those fears was enormously helpful and right sized it and actually, in its own weird way, was advice I left feeling much better.

Did you share with them that it was hard to ask? Yeah, I think that helps. I don't think people think that. Things are sometimes hard for me, so I sometimes have to go. This might be weird, but it's kind of hard for me to ask this.

And you can tell people really relax. And are probably shocked because you present. Of all the people I've watched, there's so much seeming confidence in who you are. I think it's why people are attracted to you. There's just, like a clear direction.

Dan Shepherd
You seem to always be moving in, and it's very much the steering wheels in your hand and, yeah, I imagine it shocks people to hear that Amy is scared or fearful or confused. Wow, great job, Amy. You really managed to never like, what the fuck? Okay. Your goal was to have control, and you did it.

Yeah, you got it. So you did do a good job. But now you're not serving you anymore. You're not serving, and so you have to let it go. Yeah, I gotta practice it.

Amy Poehler
I'm so the same. And I just had this huge meltdown, essentially. Ooh, on air. Can we listen to it? It was not on air.

Rob
Okay. But. But it can be right now. Yeah. I had a big meltdown.

Amy Poehler
It almost came out on air because then we recorded the next day and I was still so fucked up about it. And it was with orna. I entered the space, and I was like, oh, my God. I'm already on tilt. I'm already not well.

And then we're sitting with Orna, and. She'S just gonna get right in there. And within the first two minutes, I was like, I'm about to cry, so I have to stop, and I don't want to draw attention to this. Isn't it so funny? Because some people love crying.

Yeah, but it's so embarrassing. It's like throwing up. It is. It is. It is.

Rob
If you feel better after. I can cry on my own in my car, but in front of other people, it's hard. I know, but, you know, there's also nothing I love more than somebody feeling safe to cry in front of me. It's a beautiful thing. But anyway, I had this big meltdown, and a friend was there for it.

Amy Poehler
And then she told another friend and Jess. And then Jess came up to me after, and he was like, you know, I forget that you struggle because you are always the person to, like, give advice, and you're always the person who seemingly has their shit together. And that's why I, like this show, is I don't want to hear people's like, I got my shit together. Who cares? Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
There's nothing for me to learn. They also don't. They also don't. None of us do. But why don't I afford myself the same luxury of that?

Rob
It's really weird.

Dan Shepherd
Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. We are supported by betterhelp. It feels like a lot has happened this year. There's barely even summer. We went to India for by George.

Amy Poehler
We sure did. Lots to process already. Yeah. But even with so much going on, it's important to slow down, take a minute to reflect on yourself and make adjustments. And if you need a little help with that, I can't recommend therapy enough.

Dan Shepherd
We are both in therapy. We are. We proselytize all the time, talk about it every day. Couldn't function without it. If you want to give therapy a try, check out betterhelp.

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Rob
Apply for Apple Card in the wallet app on iPhone. Apple card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City branch subject to credit approval. Daily cash is available via Apple Cash. Card issued by Green Dot bank, member FDIC, or as a statement, credit terms and more@applecard.com. Dot we are supported by celebrity cruises.

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Rob
I want to know more about your meltdown, but I know you don't. I can say we'll see what we keep in of it because it has to do with the show a little bit. So are you okay with me telling this? Yeah, of course. Okay.

Amy Poehler
We had a live show many years ago and there was a guy there with a sign. We've talked about it a lot on here. Yeah. Is this the dance that you guys do where you're like, he was into you 100%? I have feelings about this.

Dan Shepherd
I almost want to hear him before you hear the story because you might be very vindicated. I have no horse in this race. Having observed it. It's a dance you guys get into a lot. My question is, how's it working for you?

Rob
Because it terribly okay. Yeah. I'll be the first to admit it doesn't ever have any impact. What comes up for me is I've been on the side of Monica where I feel like someone is. It's not gaslighting, but it's this feeling of someone's telling you something and it doesn't make you feel better and they can't understand why it doesn't.

You feel bad that you're not feeling better. You can feel the other person really wanting to be like, no, you're not understanding this is what I'm saying. And you're also talking about something that's not really provable, it's not objective. You're also the perfect person to be talking about this. Cause I quote your book all the time.

Dan Shepherd
You have the same ism, Monica and I have. Which is you didn't think you were hot. Exactly. You're the perfect person, I think, to be entering this. And clearly, there's been a bunch of me in your life going, Amy, are you fucking ridiculous?

Rob
And you know what's so funny is what I feel in those moments is you're trying to build up Monica's self esteem, but from my experience, it does the opposite. It makes you feel even worse. Yeah. Cause you feel pitied. Yes.

Amy Poehler
Somebody is trying to prove to you that you're good enough, but that they have to do that means you're not. Yes. Well, I will challenge that, though. I'm not having to do it because you're vocally telling me you're not worthy of anyone's attraction. It starts with, I live in a reality where I travel through the world with Monica, and I see dudes like her.

Rob
Could you tolerate the discomfort of not having to prove her wrong about that? Because if someone says, I'm feeling that way, and someone says, that's crazy, there's a million people, it just doesn't work. It feels like I'm denying your experience. And I know Monica knows what your intention is, is so. It's so pure on top of it not working.

You feel bad that you're not receiving the loving intention. Yeah. Yeah. It's a double whammy. Like, I know you're doing something nice, so I feel bad because you're doing something nice, and I don't like it.

Dan Shepherd
Your timing for this is perfect. And she'll tell the story. Why? Because I'm done with it. So it's funny you would bring that up, and that's over for us, and this story will demonstrate the outcome of it.

Amy Poehler
So we had this guy on. He was at the show. He had this sign. He calls it out. It's this big thing.

In love with you. And I said, no, he's not. And I think he just is doing a funny, fun thing. Whatever. This is a back and forth for so many years.

This example gets used, as you've heard all the time, as to why I can't see that people like me. And so last week. How do I say this without. So the guy who was in love with her is now dating a male friend of hers. Yeah.

And I found this out, and I had a meltdown, and I was, like, really struggling. You had a meltdown? That's very interesting that that's where you went. Well, at first, I was like, I knew it. I was gonna say, you didn't feel vindicated.

I did. That was the first thought. But then it was immediately followed with so much sadness, and I couldn't really figure out why at first, but it was that I had to accept that. When Dax says that to me, I don't believe him, but I want to. And there's a piece that I leave open for it to be true, and so when it's not, it's just devastating.

Yeah, of course. And I knew. I was like, don't be mad at him for this. It's not his fault. But this feeling is more about me and you than it is about me and that guy.

It's more about. Well, I would even say it's you and you. My worthiness, my feeling unlovable. It's just all immediately right there. And also, yes, anger with myself of, why isn't this fixed yet?

Rob
I understand. And then she was pretty mad at me that day. I wasn't mad at you, but I wanted to tell you. Well, I specifically asked, are you mad at me about this? And you said, yeah, sorry, I'm turning into Orna now.

But when you say, are you mad at me? And someone says, yes, do you get a charge? No. Oh, I don't mean a charge. Like, yeah, let's go.

Dan Shepherd
Well, let's just say I love confrontation. That's what I mean. Like, I just love that someone tells me they're mad at me. I love the honesty, and Monica and I, for our many faults, we're very, very honest with each other, and that's how we've kept this. My biggest fear is someone's mad at me, and they don't tell me.

Is that. Cause can't you tell? I don't really even have that fear. It's not even a fear. I just.

Rob
When they're upset and we don't talk, it just feels so awful. Yeah, I hate that. Let's go. The weird space. And.

Dan Shepherd
I got it. I understand. So the unraveling happened, and then, of. Course, my defense of myself was like, yeah, you know what? One of these guys, again, I'm not remounting the argument, but I get text all the time from dudes in my life.

Rob
You are doing it right now. You're actually getting right back on the stool. My personal fear was. Oh, God. One person was proven correct, so now the whole worldview is kind of confirmed that no guys like her.

Dan Shepherd
And then I just decided this is never gonna yield any positive outcome, and I do yield. Oh, sorry. My phone is going off. Oh, let's see who's calling maybe it's someone fun. Oh, my God.

Rob
It's Cedar City, Utah. I think it is spam, by the way. That was crazy. Spidey senses. How did you even, did you feel like you felt chemically?

Dan Shepherd
I heard. I heard a little buzz. Okay. Cause I didn't hear a bug. I have my phone down my pants and I keep it on vibrate.

Rob
So what I think is interesting is what if we slid it over to something that isn't as charged in the pie of life? Maybe the relationship piece is a little charged and a little tender right now. So let's say you slide it over to something that you feel like a little bit more solid and let's say work. So if someone says, I'm trying to get a job, and someone else who's been in the job market, because you've been married for a long time, so a married person who hasn't maybe been putting resumes out says, you know what you should do, or you know what? There's a ton of people that want to give you a job.

You'd be like, but it is different now. I'm having a different experience, and you haven't been looking for a job for 15 years. And so I want to try to remember to ask more people that are also looking for a job what they're doing a little bit less. The people that haven't looked for a new job in 15 years, but they're well intentioned. Yeah.

Amy Poehler
They want the best for you, of course. And of course I'm gonna get a job. You just slide it over to another thing. It just feels very clear. Just the charged stuff that I super relate to.

Dan Shepherd
Tears of not being enough romantically are, for me, the strongest in the world. To not be desirable. That's the number one thing as a single person. There's also just an added layer of, like, who is the person? Because the last five years, especially as a person, dating out in the world has been a trip.

Rob
I just want to commiserate, empathize, just say the job market is not the same as it was. Not to call it a market, but it is. It has its own different things now. And people are experiencing differently, and people are dating differently, people are expressing themselves differently. So I noticed it because I've spanned both versions.

Amy Poehler
Yeah. Yeah. It's not maybe the way you might be remembering it. I'm getting a little defensive. I can feel it about, I don't know that I'm giving so much advice, and maybe I am and I'm blind to it, but I would think of it more, or this is what it feels like it is to me.

Dan Shepherd
I also know Monica is a great writer, and she has opportunities to write that come up. And I tell her all the time, like, don't forget, like, you're a bad motherfucking writer. And that's a very rare skill. Don't underestimate how few people can actually write. In my opinion, that separates the adults from the kids.

That's the superpower. And I'll just throw that her way. I'm not saying, like, you should submit for a book, or you should do this, or you should contact this person. I'm just kind of at times, as I hope I would do with any friends. Like, when I see you have something special, I want you to not sleep on it.

Amy Poehler
But the difference is, I'm not saying no. I'm not. I agree. Yeah. You know, you're a good guy.

I know that about myself. So when you say it, it makes me feel good. I like that you like that about me, but it's not doing anything to me because I already know that about myself. I feel confident there. It's just nice.

But the relationship stuff, I don't know anything. It's so scary. It's so hard for me. It's so deep. It's so old, all this stuff.

And this is my fault. That anything anyone says is gonna rock the foundation. That's my stuff to fix. And you matter to me, so your opinion matters. So when you say stuff, I'm like, maybe it's true.

Cause he's saying it, and then when it's not, I'm mad. Yeah, I get it. I'm sorry. You know, you didn't do anything. No, I am.

Dan Shepherd
I would not want to add on the layer that you're articulating, which is like. And now I also feel bad because of this. I don't wish to do that, and I'm sorry. You guys talk about a lot of stuff in here. You really get in, and it's enmeshed in a way, so maybe you want to figure out how much it's difficult because it's content.

Rob
Your stuff is your content, too, so it's difficult. I know. Amy, on your journey, though, over the last five years, I do want to know one answer. You've turned into couples. Cause I.

Dan Shepherd
Even after getting out of the relationship with Brie. Is Brie gonna be on the show, by the way? Because, you know, I've met Brie. Oh, yes. Yes, you have.

Rob
Babers. We've known each other a long time. We have. We have been through a lot. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
Yeah. So, yes. After Bree, I had this two year panicked feeling of, like, that can only happen to you when you're young. I had this real fear that I could never maybe feel that thing and that maybe that's just a part of being young. And I'm just curious, do you have.

Rob
That at all in where. Where you're at, where you're dating and you're not 20 years old? No. Mine is more really trying to bring kind of what we were talking about earlier, bring the authentic version of myself to a relationship. Cause I think that's the work is showing up and figuring out what that is.

And I've been grateful that I've turned the work in a little bit. Other people, as medicine was definitely something I probably. Yeah. Yeah, we all do. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
I always say it's the original drug. 100%. For me, it was 6th grade. Oh, man. 6Th grade.

Rob
Me too. I mean, I've pulled so many hot guys. You have. I know some of the roster.

Sorry to brag. Brag. The poll was part of the charge. And then what is intimacy like, working on that? So it's almost like it's just trying to figure that out day by day.

And so when you're doing all that work on yourself, figuring out how to also just casually be casual. It's weird. It feels weird. It just feels like rubbing your stomach and patting your head at the same time. It's just like, I don't care.

Care. I want this to be so important. I could give a fuck if I ever see you again. The two things are strange, don't you think? It almost feels like they're diametrically opposed.

Dan Shepherd
Like, if I actually get to this place where I'm not fearful that you could see all of me and you would reject me, I almost imagine I wouldn't even be interested in partnership at all. It's like I don't need anyone. It almost seems like one threatens the other. Not to get, like, too glow. But I think the romantic love is so lionized, and there's so many versions of love.

Rob
I know I have a ton of them in my life, so they fulfill all this stuff, but we still are just obsessed with one version of love. And even we know that version is not even real. It's temporary at best. 100%. So sometimes I'm like, do I just miss the oxytocin of the love part?

Amy Poehler
Yeah. So I feel kind of sober. I'm not using anybody, and I'm not being used. I'm trying to figure it out. It's hard.

Dan Shepherd
I wonder, like, me, it's such a part of who I am. Like, just endless female validation. I need to know at all times. And actually, as I'm getting older and I'm feeling myself transcendent, that almost scares the fuck out of me. I was just in Austin for a week by myself, and I go to Barton Springs, and I can see these women are hot.

Like, I'm observing now that one's very hot. That one's very hot. And then there's no second thought of, like, I would like to do anything with them. And I'm like, oh, I'm getting older, and I don't want to do anything with them. And that scares me.

Like, well, then why am I on planet? It's been the singular reason I've wanted to be alive is to go out there and get some approval from ladies. It's a scary thing to let go in the same way any other. Maybe addiction is. It's like, that's the zest of life.

Rob
I think of it as the end of act two, basically, which is, okay, so there's a big thing at the end of act two, which is like, what the fuck are we gonna do? Oh, no, we're screwed. And then you realize, but it opens up spirituality, and it opens up compassion, and it opens up connection. It opens up a lot of other things. But I know what you mean.

Dan Shepherd
I'm phrasing it as, like, I'm holding onto it. I'm not, but I'm aware of it. And I'm like, well, it's such a curious thought to be on this planet and meet someone that's high status and attractive and never even think. I wonder if they like me. That's such an unimaginable world for me.

And then what goes in place of that? I so relate, because even with comedy and improv and all this stuff, like, you were just aware of status. You would play around with it, you'd have fun with it, the big and little of it all. And then when it kind of starts to fall away, I mean, I guess it's just fear of death, really. It's just like, oh, no, am I going to die?

To bring up an interview I was reading with you, and you were talking about that you have discovered later in life that you're more of an introvert than you knew. And I guess I was wondering, when I read that, are you discovering you were always more of an introvert, or has the context of your life actually just made you more of an introvert, because I think, for me, I was just trying constantly to get everyone's approval, and basically everyone around me had higher status or they were further along in their careers or they had more money, whatever. The thing is. And then as I have gained status, the hit isn't there. Interesting, maybe, because if I'm dead honest with myself, like, I just went to this interesting conference for two days, and all of a sudden, there was, like, professors there.

I want them to think I'm smart. Lo and behold, here's the extrovert I always was. Cause I, too, have had the same thing. I'm like, I'm an introvert now, but put me in the right room, and I'm not. I'm right back to being an extrovert.

Rob
Ooh, you're hitting on something. It's disgusting, but I think it's the truth about me. It's not disgusting. It's like human nature. We're social primates.

Ooh, that's so interesting. You might be right, because I did learn in the pandemic I wasn't a true introvert because I was really hurting, itchy. I just felt I definitely need people, and I need to feel connected to those people. But I'm gonna really think about that, because I don't think I ever really recognized the amount of energy I would put out. I felt really proud of how much energy I could put out.

And then. And when the universe kind of made us all stop, I definitely had to look at my workaholism and just productivity in general and the myth of that. And what does that even mean? And that's very generational. Like, we definitely were told that.

So part of my extroversion was about the grind. I just got such pride in how much I felt like I could grind and hustle. Even letting that go feels like a vitality part that's really scary, for sure. I know for you, it's tied into money. On the zero to ten, where are you at on the money?

I don't have the same. No, I don't. I have a variant, very blue collar. I've thought about it. Cause I've listened to you guys talk about it.

I don't have the same fear. I never felt a grasping energy with it, and therefore, it didn't feel like it was gonna go away. I'm not hyper vigilant in a way that I am about other things. So that's not my. Is that your.

Dan Shepherd
Hang on. This time around? I definitely feel like there's some karma I gotta burn off. And money isn't my karma this time around. Right.

Rob
Thank God. But there's other stuff. Can we pause real quick? Cause I have a question about when you said you pull hot guys, so is that the. The status marker?

I can't post it. I love that. Is that gonna be the pull quote of this article? Oh, dear. You have, but you have and you should.

I only say that because I'm just relating to the chase of it. You're also talking to the kettle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's my question. Is it a person with physical attractiveness so that you then feel for me?

Amy Poehler
If a hot guy likes me, then I feel hotter. I love an alpha. Alphas love alphas. I love it. You know, you're the one who introduced me to the alpha console.

Dan Shepherd
No way. In 2006, you were early in on the alpha energy, and you informed me about it. And I have been around so many alpha males. I mean, it's been your whole life. I also love alpha whim.

Rob
I'm obsessed. Anyone that you're just like, oh, my God. So I think there's something about status, but there was a relaxed sense of self where I could even fake it most of the time, but where I felt confident enough to go for it. And that's changed a little bit now. I have to say, it's not the same.

That's why I'm relating to the job market is different. Things feel different. Different. Now everyone's coming at each other like cats, not dogs. Everything is very sideways y.

It feels like any sense. Am I talking in a riddle? I don't know. So what's my point? Oh, God.

I can't believe I said I pulled out, guys. Oh, my God. Amy. And also, you know. Oh, God, of course you pulled out.

Dan Shepherd
I feel like, oh, here we go. I'm about to make the same mistake twice. I know, babies, you're a smoke show, and you're so confident. Thank you for saying that. You are.

You're such a smoke show. Right back at you. And what a fucking once in a lifetime personality. What a once in a lifetime time performer any fucking dude is. See, look, you're doing it.

Amy Poehler
He's doing it. He can't help himself. I love you. I love you. I'm not gonna say it's true.

Dan Shepherd
It is for me. It is for me. I was like, who's this little unicorn bouncing around? But she's got sparklers coming off her hooves. What's going on around here?

Rob
Thank you. And I agree. And I can't wait to find out who that person is, is. We're now. We're not entering middle age.

Dan Shepherd
You and I inhabit middle age. Are you feeling. Is that weird? It is weird, but I think I'm starting to grasp the things you hear people talk about. They enjoy it.

Fifties is some kind of, like a little honeymoon. Yeah. Cause you haven't hit 50 yet. But I'm months away. Okay.

I'm feeling a little bit of wisdom, and obviously it's a trade. It's like, the fight for the wisdom, and I'm feeling the transition, and sometimes it's clunky, and sometimes I feel like an old person, and I feel a little more intolerant, but I do feel the transition happening. Do you feel it? Big time. That is the mentors that are my mentors.

Rob
Without knowing that I'm mentors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are my mentors. That is what I learn a lot, is just the letting go of the smaller things, letting go of the fight, letting go of the judgment or the resentment. That part feels really good.

When I got on the other side, you just start looking at things, and you're like, it's not that important. That bothers me. And yet it's okay. I've started to let go. An acceptance.

Yes. What are you doing for your 50th? Are you having a party? Okay. So similar to that, I don't ask anyone for advice.

Dan Shepherd
I also never invite people to a birthday party. Okay. Same. And can I just say something? I don't like birthdays.

Rob
I never celebrated them. The idea of, like, surprise nightmares. Nightmare. People toasting nightmare. Uh huh.

I had a dance party for my 50th. Great idea. Highly recommend. Because, you know, we both love to dance. You and I were born on the dance floor.

We were born fucking born on the dance floor. But also, I just love it for social anxiety. I don't really want to chit chat. I just want to kind of move around. And we know we're good.

Dan Shepherd
Let's be honest. We're folks. We're gonna be the best dancers. Like, we have to win the dance contest, but have a dance party for your 50th. It's funny you'd say that.

So I don't ask for advice. I don't want anyone to come to my birthday party. Cause I'm certain they'll have a bad time. So I'd rather just not deal with it. And then also, I don't ever ask for presents or things.

So, weirdly, I've decided. So I was watching Instagram. I'm watching this guy cook a fucking tomahawk. Steak in the woods. Oh, I've seen that guy.

And he's got a pot of butter over a fire, and he's, like, stirring the butter with the tomahawk steak. Right? And I sent this video to Aaron weekly, and I said, I want you to make me this steak in the woods for my 50th birthday. Will you? And he said, absolutely.

And then I saw these crazy hard boiled egg hamburgers on another Instagram thing, and I sent those to Charlie, and I said, I want you to make these for me on my birthday in the woods. And by the way, shocked. They can't wait to do that for me. Yeah, of course they've been blown away. They're like, oh, my God, I can't wait.

Yes, I'll do that. So, currently, there's gonna be some event in the woods where they're making all these meals, but we have a barn in Tennessee, and it's built for a dance party. Mike. Dude, if you have a dance party in Tennessee, I will go. All right.

Consider yourself invited. And I think you should have a dance party, because my experience was same exact thing. I never wanted to celebrate my birthday. People were like, it's your birthday. And I was like, who celebrates?

I'm judgmental of people who make a. Big deal like this, too, or make it their whole birthday day. And I'm like, it's the end of the day. We're still talking about your birthday. Yes.

Rob
Okay. Even though I love to give them a present and I love to think about that, I'm just like, okay, it's your birthday. All day. Yeah, all day. It's your birthday.

And I have a dance party. Have a silent disco. It helped me cross over myself. What space were you in? I was in New York.

My friend runs that show sleep no more that just closed, and it was at the McKittrick hotel. Samantha Ronson was the DJ. Wow. Get a great dj. I just said, I want eighties and nineties hits.

Dan Shepherd
Five gallon bucket of MDMA at the door. Exactly. My parents came, all my friends. We managed to kind of thread through Covid. We were in between bursts of strains.

Rob
So everybody came. There was no choice, no chitchat. But it was important. You know what that solves, too? The thing I hate about parties like that is there's all these people I love.

Dan Shepherd
I would want to spend 30 minutes talking to each person, and then you end up having to say hi to all these people. And then I get self conscious about that. They felt, sure change. But if the whole events on the dance floor, like, we'll all dance together. That's what I said.

Rob
I said, I'll be on the dance floor. Come say hi. Right, genius. Because I didn't want to stand at the door. I didn't want to talk a lot.

And also, I kind of wanted to just point at people on the dance floor and for them to be like, hi. And then they come back and leave. It felt like a good thing to do for myself also. And not to be cheesy, but it's nice when you're 50 to actually look around and say, wow, I have all these friends. I've built something.

I had the Aaron Weekley's of the world. I have my new friends. The numbers game is kind of nice. Yeah. To see it all, it forces you to recognize you really were here.

Yes. You really existed. As you get a little older, you want to remind yourself of the numbers. Does that make sense? Sure.

Amy Poehler
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So this was one of my other questions, and it's on very similar topic to you. Getting to see all your friends in one place and recognize you've had a bunch of chapters, you have SNL, you have starring in movies, you have starring in tv, you have directing, you have writing a book, you have building UCB. And I'm curious, on your deathbed, what's the one that you're like, oh, man, I'm proud of Amy for doing that.

Rob
Ooh, wow. Cause as I look at that list, I mean, I have guesses, but I feel like for you to drive down the street and drive by Ucb. Yeah. I was gonna say, do I have to pick one? Okay, this is gonna be kind of cheesy.

I'm not trying to avoid the answer. It is the real answer. Cause a couple things pop up under this heading. SNL and parks and UCB and all this stuff. Directing.

Dan Shepherd
I wanna throw a directing in there. Yes. Thank you. I feel proudest when I was actually present during it. So definitely there was so much improv, UCb early sketch stuff where I remember.

Rob
Cause I was so present in it. I was actually there. I wasn't out of my body. Parks was another example where I had the wisdom, the age to know, this is not coming around. This is it.

This is the best probably tv show I'll ever be on. We're getting to land the plane on our own. The people are incredible. This was a dream come true. I'm gonna every day remember the dream come true.

Like, I was grateful in the moment and in many ways, SNL, too little different. Cause SNL was kind of like an emergency room. I felt crazy, like I was on drugs. Yeah. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
Sometimes work. So still, I felt present. I heard, actually, you and Maya talking, and I brought it up to her. You guys are sitting there talking in some interview, and you said, there's a moment where you guys both realized, oh, we can have fun while we're out here. The sketch is almost secondary to let's try to do this over and over again.

Rob
Yes, that was a drug, really. But my go to bed happy thing is when I actually remember that in whatever I'm doing, the accomplishments feel like they're just stories that you can tell, but the feeling of I'm actually feeling it in real time, it's hard to get to. It feels like a timing thing. And work on yourself, and you don't. Get nostalgic for the results.

Dan Shepherd
You get nostalgic for the process. That's all I'm into now. I don't even care as much about the job. It's people and process. Who are we doing it with?

Rob
Because the other stuff kind of falls away. You kind of forget it. But the people in the process is the thing that I care about. Okay, so you and I are both. I don't know if you've proclaimed it like I have, and I'll regret having proclaimed it, but I haven't been on camera for a couple years, and I don't want to be.

I relate. You've been saying, like, I'm kind of retired, and I've been feeling that, too. Yeah. And I'm curious what your motivations are. Parks ended, and I was super burnt out in the best way, but directing and acting.

I had two little kids during that show. Like, I tell this story, which is all the guys that worked on parks were all standing around and, you know, being together, like, seven, eight years, and everyone's like, wow. Between all of us, we all had ten kids. And I was like, no, I was the only one that had them, physically had them. You guys wore the same shirt on Thursday that you wore on Friday, and you were tired.

I physically grew them and had them and came to work. Yeah. You observed kids being born. I grew the child. I grew them in.

My body completely changed, and then it surrendered, and then it changed again. So that part. And then I kind of got into the feeling of not having to be in front of the camera, and I got way more interested in directing and writing and producing and stuff, even though I had been doing that before, but I got way more into it and the freedom of that. And I used to joke like, just wearing your own clothes on set as a dream. And, you know, maybe you go into the hair and makeup trailer, you're like, can I get a little cream for my face?

And you just go, how are you guys doing? And, you know, let me know when you're done. You just get out of the grind. Also that directing is the ultimate control. The day's over when you say it is.

Dan Shepherd
Yeah, it's juicy. Yeah. But I'm getting a little itchy now. In a good way. Well, I was wondering, do you get nostalgic?

Cause it's already happening to Kristen, which is she, too, had the mic shearer experience. You're so lucky. So few of us get it. And I had it on parenthood, too, where I was like, well, I know this is as good as it's ever gonna get. And then I get nostalgic for that.

And I miss being with those people. I go, am I gonna try to recreate something that's always a fool's game? I've got a couple itches these past couple years. Tina and I went on tour, and that has been wrestles. Like, so fun.

Rob
Being in front of an audience, getting actual laughs, working on material, writing jokes, the process, that process. So fun. And also to be on tour with your friend of 30 plus years. We just wanna go to, like, macy's during the day and have dinner, and we invite our friends up, like, maya's come and fred and dratch, and we just go to a movie. It's just like a weekend away.

But you're doing a job, so you don't feel like you're taking a weekend away. You're just like, this is my job. Yeah, that's been really fun. But I'm thinking about it more because I don't want to lose the muscle of it. Are you worried about that?

I think sometimes when you stay away from it, it just becomes too important and you overthink, like, what should be the thing that I do? Something just happened, and I don't know that the timing's gonna work out, but I got an email, would I do one episode of righteous Gemstones? And I was like, oh, yeah, I'll do that. I've been watching that show. If I get to go play with Danny in a scene and experience the thing I've been watching and loving, yes.

Dan Shepherd
I don't think it's gonna lead to anything. My only objective will be to play with Walton Goggins in him. You know, what I'm sad to admit is that I gave up a few of those kind of fun opportunities for a while. Cause I was literally struggling with getting old on camera. Yeah.

Rob
It was such a bummer. That's one of the things I'm leaving behind. I wanna do it, but not see my face on camera. I know I don't want to see my face too much. Podcast.

Amy Poehler
It's so hard. Okay, Dax. And then I'm bringing it back to Monica. What feels terrible is when someone says, what are you talking about? You look great.

Dan Shepherd
Well, this is why I differ from you two. I love that. I totally do. You do? Because I don't.

Rob
I'm like, I know when I look good, right? I know good pictures of myself. This is not a flattering. And also, I'm so fatigued by just even that thought. I had it in my twenties.

I'm here in my fifties. I'm like, okay, babe, well, when is it gonna stop? You just have to put an end to it. So I regret over the past couple years, I do think there were opportunities when I could have done something for fun. It's a constant struggle.

It doesn't end, and you just have to decide to end it. Yes. I'm gonna feel this way regardless. Yes. Yeah, we're gonna feel that way, but we're gonna do it anyways.

Dan Shepherd
I love playing on that day, and we're gonna maybe just not watch it. That's why being on tour has been so fun. It's been on stage, and you just don't have to watch it. I have this weird mirage, too, where it's like, I can svengala you. If I'm talking directly to a human, I can project to you in eight.

Rob
We are better in the room, babe. Better in the room. We are better in person. Yes. People tell me that in real life.

Dan Shepherd
Like, wow, you're more attractive in real life. It happened during babies. Talk about a nightmare. I was on a fucking award show, presenting an award. And the person presenting with me was a pop star.

And she had never seen me in real life. And during us reading the things, she looked at me and goes, you're so much better looking in real life. Which most people probably take as a compliment. And I was like, oh, my God. She's shook by the fact that I'm not hideous in real life.

Rob
How about this? I'll feel confident, and then I'll get texts once a week from someone being like, you look like this person. You should play this person on SL. And when I tell you, I won't name names, I won't name names, but I bet you can guess some. They're not people you want to look.

At, and they're never the people you want to look like. And it's like, I was just feeling pretty good. I'm gonna text you next week that you should play Sweeney. What's her name? Sidney sweetie.

Dan Shepherd
Sidney sweetie. And, like, the reverse of a biopic. Like, you should play future. Actually, that's never been. That'd be great.

Rob
Actually, that's a great idea. It is. Oh, my God. That's a great idea. Like, just very confidently playing what's gonna.

Dan Shepherd
Happen to them in 30 years. The funny thing is, is it's completely universal. Both people are offended. That's the hilarity of it, is we all have low self esteem and yet we think we're better looking than the person we're compared to. It's a total paradox.

Amy Poehler
It's true. I'm too insecure to even ask the people that are mixed up. I wouldn't even ask them if they're offended. I know, but that's a funny idea to reverse in the life story of someone who's like, if I played the rise of a supermodel, not jokingly, just genuinely committed to how hard it was to be so objectified and tall. Yeah, that would be so fun.

Dan Shepherd
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Okay, it's time to talk about your projects. Okay. Yes. Let's start with. I'm embarrassed to say I didn't even know you were producing all these different podcasts, and each one of them sounds.

Rob
Yes, we're doing a bunch of podcasts. Do you exercise and listen to them? I listen to them when I clean my house, when I drive, when I travel. Yeah, I learned that you're listening to, like, a dozen of them. I love the genre.

Dan Shepherd
And Ike, we had him on as a guest, and I went to his house the next day, and I'm like, what show do you want to do? I want to do a show with you. You're incredible. I've only asked, like, three guests in the history of this. What a chance.

Rob
See, he's another big boy. Yeah, yeah. Very big boy. How great was his dad, the judge. On that weird, oh, my show?

Oh, my God. Oh, God. I feel like Bill could have done that, too. Luckily, he wouldn't mind me telling you my dad is dyslexic, so he's a little more nervous. He's an extrovert for sure, but he wouldn't be able to maybe nail the lines.

Dan Shepherd
The lines, yeah, yeah. And that's a safety valve to stop us from him probably becoming an actor, because. Yeah, yeah, my dad. But when I saw his dad, I was like, elle for sure. Oh, my God.

Of course. Ike is ike. Yeah. So paper kite podcast. We're doing a work advice podcast with the ladies I work with at paper kite.

Rob
It's called million dollar advice. And then we do three. Doctor Sheila. We do the. Chris Chapman.

Dan Shepherd
You're doctor Sheila? Yes. Chris Chapman. Can we just, can I tell one? I didn't hear it, but I read about it and it reminded me of my very favorite sketch ever on mister show.

I don't know if you remember that sketch where Dave Cross is the host of a show and he starts by saying, and he's completely disheveled. He looks crazy, like they pulled him out of the river. He goes, welcome to the Ascension show. Just to remind everyone, the callers we have that I'll be taking are callers from yesterday, and I'll be answering those calls. And the topic is blank.

So don't call about this because this is what happened yesterday. And then he slides a tv in front of it, and it's him doing the show from yesterday, also explaining the same problem and then taking calls with the wrong prompt. Yes. And then you find out they're only six days into this show and he's way behind the six tv. Is him going, welcome to the show.

We're going to try something completely different. So the fact that you had an episode where you got triggered by one of your patients. Yeah. And then you. Then I called my therapist, played by Rachel Dratch, who got triggered in the session.

Rob
In the session. And then she called her therapist, played by Tina, and this was just improvised. And this doctor Sheila character is like a narcissistic boomer. She's really out of touch. She loves men.

Dan Shepherd
Don't they all? I know she's like a delight to play. She's the opposite of a lot of characters that I played before. So they're just talking about a thing. They can't get to the bottom of it.

Rob
I get frustrated. I call my therapist, play by dratch. I brag a little bit about my podcast. Dratch gets triggered. She calls Tina.

Tina just made the choice to be in a home goods, and she was like, I've told you not to call me. I've gave you my cell phone number as a courtesy, but I asked you not to use it. And then Tina gets really upset. And then she calls her therapist, and it's Paula. She calls the client.

It was so incredible. Did that happen organically or was that at least mapped out? Kakowski, who's another improviser and sketch performer from Chicago. We work on it together. And we mapped that part.

She mapped that part out. What a hysterical turn that ultimately, the patient ends up getting called, yes, it's. So fun, but that's been a blast to do. And it scratched that itch a little bit. And then.

Dan Shepherd
So now you have a new one. Women talk about murder. Yes. That's Liz Kakowski and Emily Spivey, who. Both wrote on SNL.

I've met Spivey through you. And this is like a soulmate, right? Cause she was a writer on SNL. Spivey, yes, soulmate. Liz and Spivey and I were all at SNL at the same time.

Rob
Emily and I started at the same time. Emily is like a North Carolina groundlings girl. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Liz and her play, a duo who are going through the grisly details of true crime, and one of them is super suspicious and scared of the world, and the other one, like, jogs at night.

Amy Poehler
It's like, literally me and Liz, I think we've had a lot of conversations about this also. I really love good character names. For whatever reason. Sometimes people nail, like, Donna and Jobeth. Jobeth.

Rob
And Jobeth is such a incredible, incredible name. Grand slam for a name, for a host of this show. And that one was super fun. Cause I love true crime. I listen to a ton of podcasts.

Everything is done with love. But there's a specific kind of thing that's happening now, like a vibe that's now able to parody. It's like documentary now. There's a way now that people interact, the music they use, the way they talk. Yeah, it's a whole genre.

It's a genre. It's a vibe. So we had so much fun, so we would have people come on and improvise that, and it was mostly improvised. You said in an interview that you listen to a lot of them, but you think there's something really fascinating about the fact that there's all these women listening at 08:00 a.m. to, like, a.

Dismemberment story, the dark stuff in general. I wonder why. And I can listen to it or read it. I don't really want to watch it. I can't take violent movies or violent shows.

I'm like, mm mm. It's too scary. But I just will listen to almost anything. Why is that? I have a theory, and mostly I came up with it when I read your explanation why you wanted to do.

It, what do you think? So it definitely overindexes heavily. Women are into these shows. Yes. It makes sense.

Dan Shepherd
When I think about we're all preoccupied with how we might die in a way that's, like, unforeseen. So to me, it makes total sense that women would be following all these murder podcasts. There's always men murdering women, which is the way that women have died historically. In fact, in our podcast, we joke they're waiting for one woman. They've covered 3000 stories, and it's all straight, straight, white men.

So, similarly, I think men love war movies. Every man's watching World War Two in color because that, again, is historically the most likely way I'll die in a way that is completely unjust. True crime is our roman empire, is what you're saying. I think it is acting out our. Fear, knowing what to look for so that you don't find yourself in that situation.

Amy Poehler
I think it's more subconscious. Like, this is a tool. Now, I have found coming out in the past five years, we've been watching so much dark stuff. Like, comedy is getting really dark. Every comedy has to have assault in episode four.

Rob
Like, it's intense. Yeah, yeah. And comedies are getting darker and darker and darker, which, I get it. Great tv. I'm watching the same stuff you guys are watching.

I love it. But I'm getting a little overwhelmed. I want likeness to come back because life is getting too intense. When we shut down, we all went in our beds and rewatched stuff that felt comfort, and I wanted to try to figure out how to do it in the improper, supervised, podcast based. Have you been observing, this is neither here nor there, but have you been observing that comedy, specifically stand up, is just this huge upswing?

Dan Shepherd
There's, like, many, many stand ups selling out arenas right now. People are super hungry for live stuff and comedy. And I've watched now, the past 15, almost 20 years, the shows that have come and gone and been nominated for comedies and won awards. Everything's getting more and more serious. The winners are having very intense episodes that they win for, and their speeches are very intense.

Rob
It's very important. Life is very intense. The world is very intense. And also, it's weird. It feels a little bit like you're painting with a color, and like, a dark color got in, and now your colors are all a little muddy, and it's just the new way to paint.

And it's complicated. Cause I think it's been really interesting. And also, I think something's been a little hijacked. Yes, that's true. I just think things are pretty down regulated right now.

And I don't call myself a comedian. Like, I'm always described as a comedian, which is such a funny thing. I don't really see myself as that. That feels like a stand up comedian. I don't really reject that, but go ahead.

Really? Yeah. In fact, I hate when stand ups act like they're only comedian. Okay, that's so interesting. I don't claim comedian, not because I think I'm not.

I don't really love comedian. Feels a little limiting. Oh, okay. Feels a little yucksy yuck. Or.

But I don't know. I have to look at that. The notion that Bill Murray's not a comedian seems insane to me. Cause he didn't do standup or will Ferrell's not a comedian. That's kind of crazy.

Dan Shepherd
Then what the fuck is a comedian? Someone who makes millions of people laugh. Okay. Okay. In your multi hyphen.

Rob
I mean, I think maybe I worry that I'm not funny enough to be a comedian. The funniness part feels like it's a full time job. This is like when Bill Gates said he wanted to be smarter. Like, I can't. I can't wrap my head around what you just said.

Dan Shepherd
We were at a live thing with him in India, and someone from the audience asked, if you had a superpower, what would it be? And he goes, what? I guess I'd like to be a little bit smarter. And Monica and I were like, what a waste of a fucking superpower. What?

Amy Poehler
But then you saying, like, to be a comedian? Well, then who is? Yeah. Everyone else should give up. Anyone who listened this interview.

Rob
This interview wasn't particularly funny. Well, that was a choice. You could have come in here and let it fucking rip. Yeah, I think I decided on the way over. I was like, just chill out.

Amy Poehler
I'm so glad we got the real me too. Okay. Okay. Sorry. I'm fishing for compliments here.

Dan Shepherd
We have just recently interviewed several stand ups, and they weren't funny during it. Yeah, I mean, occasionally, maybe they weren't. I've already seen that. I mean, I love it. To me, I see podcasts as the antidote to the late night talk show.

I love late night talk shows. But the pressure to be brilliant for eight minutes straight versus, like, oh, actually, I'm worthy of existing without that. I loved it. It was fresh air. Yes.

Rob
And listening to me say that I pulled hot guys is different than watching me.

Dan Shepherd
Okay, so inside out two yay is upon us. That's kind of what we've been talking about the whole time. It really is. I'm getting ready to go do, like, a big I haven't done one of these in a long time. Like Australia and UK.

Rob
An international press tour. That's why it's so nice to talk to you guys, because those things feel like they're their own. You just have to kind of blaze through and not screw up. Be just interested enough. But kind of boring.

Amy Poehler
Yeah. Cause you don't wanna step into something and give your thoughts on the royal family or whatever. You're supposed to not say. There's always one entrapping question within this, Stuart. I get it.

Rob
But I'm getting ready to do that. I'm so excited because inside out is so easy to talk about. So good. It was so brilliant. It's Monica's favorite of those.

Amy Poehler
I love it. You're gonna love this. I cannot wait. Because you know what it's about. Tell us.

Rob
Well, she goes from twelve to 13, basically. And she has to. To make these friend decisions, which are high stakes at that age and any age. But there's, like, some friend drama. So she has, like, this change in school and all these new emotions show up and they are confusing and nobody can understand them.

Especially my character, Joy. Because joy thinks these are gonna be great. They're gonna work with us. And they kind of jettison the old ones, like fear and disgust, and these new ones show up. Anxiety embarrassment.

Amy Poehler
Ooh. Anxiety ennui. Anxiety ennui. So she's getting older. I love this.

Rob
I know. And I think the stuff about anxiety, it is so good. Because what I love that Pixar does so well is they do a ton of research, and feeling happy about something and excited about something and anxious about something are the same physical feelings. And you have to kind of make a decision, if you can, to be excited. And sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm not nervous, I'm excited.

Amy Poehler
Yes. Or, oh, I'm not excited, I'm nervous. So they start to work together in the beginning, and then things go awry. Wow. I think you're gonna like it.

I'm gonna love it. Plays anxiety, Maya Hawke. Stranger things. So talented, so funny. And IO Adebri is envy.

Rob
Embarrassment is Paul Walker Hauser, the actor from Blackbird. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he says very little. Embarrassment doesn't really talk because he's too embarrassed to talk. But he has this, like, incredible hoodie that he always pulls.

Amy Poehler
It's so. And he takes up a ton of space. And embarrassment is always getting in the way and bumping. It's so good. Oh, my God.

Dan Shepherd
Cause you wanna be smaller when you're embarrassed. You wanna be invisible. Embarrassment is the opposite of invisible. And embarrassment is always trying to hide, but just can't figure out where. Amy, do you like being embarrassed?

Oh, my God. That's such a good question. You've talked about that. I don't hate it. Yeah, I know.

It's so specific. I've related a lot. When you say, and then I did this, and then I did this, I get, like, a good tingle. I do too. When I'm embarrassed, I definitely don't hide when I'm embarrassed.

Rob
I'm like, I kind of want everyone. To know it takes over for me. And not a bad way. No. I just started laughing uncontrollably at myself and I really enjoy it.

Dan Shepherd
Unless I'm embarrassed that people think I've lost control of a situation. That kind of embarrassment is not fun. There's very specific types of embarrassment. I had, like, one time on a set and I was guest directing, and all of a sudden I just needed tend to figure something out. And then all the people started coming to offer advice and I started getting.

And, like, ugh. They think I. And that embarrassment was not fun nightmare, but eating shit. Monica was with me and I threw a whole bucket of popcorn in the air and, like, a 30 ounce Diet coke. Everything went in the air.

I was covered in everything. And it was one of the biggest laughs I had of the year. I've heard you guys talk about it a lot, and I think I'm on Dax's side of embarrassment. I get a delight. I feel kind of alive.

Yes, it's a surge. Yeah, it's a surge. And maybe you're right. It's the specific kind, the one I can be in control of. To me, it would be much more embarrassing to just be very vulnerable in real time on one.

Rob
But, yes, I love being embarrassed. And if I make a mistake, I love being like, I made the biggest mistake I can notice. Some people really relax and other people are like, please stop.

Amy Poehler
Don't ever say that again. No. Yeah. Orna might accuse us of. What would she say?

Dan Shepherd
I can make the argument that it's my way of regaining control of it, which is if I'm embarrassed and I'm sheepish now, you have something over me. But if I'm even laughing at myself harder than you are, that's all fine and good, and I think that's in the stew. But there's a genuine physiological experience I have that I love aside from all that other maybe stress. Me too. But let me ask you this, because I have to work sometimes at staying in my physical body, I like to.

You also taught me live out loud. You've taught me a lot of things, babers. And I've held onto theme. I think when I get embarrassed, I do leave my body. I do leave my body.

Rob
But I go, like, wee. Like that. Yeah. It's a roller coaster ride. So physiologically, I think I might go by, but in a way that feels like I'm in control of it.

Do you have intrusive thoughts? I'm working on that. I have intrusive. Intrusive. Am I teaching you this too?

Dan Shepherd
Well, I've heard it. I didn't realize for a long time I had them. I don't have ADHD, but I think they're in that family. Or OCD. I know it, you know, because I remember one time, you were many years ago in my apartment, and you were like, I can't handle.

Rob
My pictures were a little crooked, and you were like, we gotta fix these things. We gotta get going on these. We gotta get going on these. And I realized, oh, this is real. Intrusive thought is, what if I.

Dan Shepherd
What's the worst thing I could do here? So I think when I get embarrassed, it's like an intrusive thought come to life, and it's a relief because it happened. But I have intrusive thoughts a lot, and I didn't even know that people didn't have them. And why didn't either. People don't even have an inner monologue dialogue.

Amy Poehler
That can't be. Did you ask your friends? I was asking a group of women that I know who doesn't have an inner thing. And a couple people said, what do you mean? And I was like, well, you know how you're just like the rat?

Rob
The minute you talk, you're thinking, and then the minute you leave, you're thinking, and then you're thinking about everything you just did and said and thinking about what you're gonna do. And some people don't have that. Oh, wow. But intrusive thoughts I used to have, when I would wait tables, I'd deliver the food, and I'd be like, what if I smash the burger? Yes, I have that a lot.

Amy Poehler
But there's different kinds. I have tons of them, too. But they're like, what if someone chokes right now, mine are all very fear based. I have some fear based ones, too. It's just like, what if someone hits.

Yes. A lot of driving ones. What if I say something right now that's really bad that you feel like you can't have control over. Well, when I'm watching people with Tourette's, I'm like, oh, 1000%. I know what's happening.

Dan Shepherd
Really. The only difference between you and I is it comes out of your mouth. But when they say their thoughts, I'm like, yeah, those were mine, too. You just vocalize them like they're around some. You know, I could give example.

I watched this documentary on it. And so you step up to the counter and someone's wearing all pink, and then just all these words start coming into your head of what you should never say in this moment. I find that just interesting, talking about living out loud. I mean, you guys must have had a million examples of that in here where someone's not conscious about what's coming up for them, and you're like, oh, here it comes. And they're.

And they're off. They're saying it. It's exhilarating. It is. Well, real time anything is exhilarating.

We're novelty monsters. We just crave. That's so true. Okay, so did you have a little bit of, like, Kristen has had this, right? It's like, frozen one is an enormous hit.

You're like, guys, let's go. What are we doing? 100%. And then they do too. And you're like, okay, guys, what are we doing?

This movie was so huge, and it was so good. Ten years. What are we doing? I don't know. They want it to be too good.

Rob
The great Pete doctor, who now runs Pixar, was the director and the first one. And then he went on to do soul. And also Pixar had its own journey of changing and Covid, and so there was a lot they would tell you. They've been working nonstop, but I so psyched they're doing, and I think they should keep doing them. Yes.

Is she doing another frozen? They announced that there'll be three and four. They did? Are you kidding me? Are you so psyched?

Dan Shepherd
Well, is the greedy little pig with financial insecurity? I'm like, oh, three and four, babe. Three and four, babe. That's incredible. And by the way, I think it was like a real time announcement where she had heard they were gonna announce three and then real time.

It's like, we're gonna do three and four, and it's just like, oh, I'm. Projecting that she had that thrill, and then that's a lot of work. She doesn't have that, you know, of her many peculiars. I didn't learn that about her and spending time with her that not to get into all that enneagram stuff, but did you ever figure out your number? You're a one, right?

Amy Poehler
I need to do it. I did it once and I forgot, but. Okay. You say that I'm a one. Rob, can you hear my stomach growling?

No. Okay. Sorry. But anyway, I found her. She's a two wing three.

Rob
She's just like, I have to do a good job, and I must be a helper along the way, so whatever you need, boss. It's so fascinating. Fascinating to live with someone who, by all accounts, does the exact same thing. The outcome is the same in some ways, and the approach is entirely different, driven by different fears. It's just opposite.

Her fears are like, I'm a bad person or I did a bad job. And our fear is we'll be betrayed. That's our biggest fear. Which is like, what a loser? Relaxed.

Like, betrayed. Oh, my God. So embarrassing. Oh, my God. I'm constantly like, who's coming for you?

Dan Shepherd
You're an adult. She's like, I didn't do it right and I'm not a right person. Yeah. Accurate. The number, supposedly.

Rob
If we're the same number, which I think we are, we're just like, don't screw. It's like, oh, my. It's embarrassing. Oh, it is. My whole thing is embarrassing.

Dan Shepherd
But then the embarrassment kind of. I like it. Oh, God. That's why we're embarrassing. So we can get a true.

More and more, as I'm older, too, I'm like, I love me as much as I'm working on myself. I'm the exact human I wanted to be. Okay. This is just my wish. But I know it's aa language, so tell me where I'm wrong.

Okay. I want you to stop saying I'm a piece of shit. You say it a lot, and I know what you're saying because. Okay, tell me if I'm wrong. Yeah.

Rob
It's a humility. It's almost a brag. Okay. People don't like it. I know.

You know? It's like if you treat other pieces. Of shit like it. I know, but it is a little distancing. It feels like an old story, honey.

Dan Shepherd
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I could sign on to that. You know why I like it? You would never call anyone else a piece of shit.

Rob
Not anyone else, no. Some of my best friends in AA. You say they're pieces of shit. Yeah, well, a word you might be less triggered by that we all say is scumbag. Yeah, I think I don't get it, but I hear what you're saying.

Dan Shepherd
My nature is a greedy scumbag, and I'm a bit of a piece of shit. And so when I acknowledge that, I'm also acknowledging how proud I am of myself that I don't operate out of that anymore. But that's the little ghoul that I am out. Like, I deserve everything, and I was given a bad hand, and I'll take what I want. The cauldron produced that.

And yet now we're here doing other things, and so I like that. Do you feel like it helps your sobriety by saying it? It just gives me pride. It's a look how far I've come from narrative. Yeah.

So it's braggy, probably, which is even grosser more than it's self flagellating. The people I'm most attracted to are, like, fellow scumbags. I love the intent. I actually relate to what you're saying, which is I feel the most comfortable when I am around people. Like, I love addicts because I love people in recovery because I love that they are doing some kind of work on themselves where they've realized they're just as full of shit as everybody else.

Rob
And you can just kind of start there. And I feel relaxed. I get relaxed around you, feel less judged, I hope 100%. And I get to investigate that side of me, not the addict side, but the to your point, piece of shit side. But I'm just gonna say the language is pretty harsh.

Dan Shepherd
It is. Here's the thing I know I can connect to with you. You must know the feeling of being lower class, knowing rich people are looking down on you and you going, that's right, motherfucker. And I don't care, bitch. Am I making you uncomfortable?

Are we disgusting? It's the, like, you can't shame me. It's like the fuck authority part. Yes. It's the, I'm not gonna let you judge me.

I'm not gonna let you think you're better than me because I'm a piece of shit. My hunch is you are. You are too. Yeah. If you can graft it onto the.

Rob
Class warfare thing, I understand it. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, I'm white trash. People say they don't. Like, I say I'm white trash, but I think it's great.

That doesn't. That's kind of a piece of shit. I don't know. It's pretty harsh. You're right.

It's pretty harsh. I'll agree with you. Scumbag is too. But I totally get the part of, like, the blue collar. Fuck you.

Yeah. We're so gross over here. Beyond, there's nothing I love more than when someone acts all snobby Bobby with me. I won't out you. I've collected the stories of times I can't wait that you've clapped back against rich people.

Dan Shepherd
And I love them. You know what it is? It's just in general I'm looking at when you turn 50, looking at the stuff, that's the go to automatic ways that you talk about yourself or other people. It's interesting. I'm acknowledging there's a lot of validity in what you're saying.

Rob
It's this idea of maybe just an update. Like, your phone needs an update. That's the hard one. I'm still in, like, version 115. At least do upgrade two and three more.

When we have your Tennessee dance party, we should have a bowl that we can write in. Ooh, I like that. What the new term could be. Okay. I love it.

Like, updates. One time I said in an interview with Kristen, borderline piece of shit. And so someone made me a shirt that said borderline pos. And I wear it all the time. I love it.

That's progress, babies. I love you. This was so fun in the ad. It was so fun, you guys. I get why people come in and they get sucked into the vortex.

Into the vortex. Time moves weirdly. That's great. I love it. I think you said it, Monica.

It's just like. We're just hungry for live, real experience. Yeah, it's true. Connection. Babers, babers, babers.

So can we make a friend date? Like, should we actually make a plan? I will say, I hope you're proud of me. I have reached out to you. You were in New York.

Are you gonna be there at all this summer? I know my brother's home. You're going to swim? Sweden. Yeah, we're going to Iceland.

Dan Shepherd
Sweden. Oh, yeah. I just went to Iceland. I'm sorry. I know we have to wrap up.

Rob
Iceland was incredible. It was. Oh, my God. First of all, everybody looks like you. Oh, well, you're gonna be like, here we are.

Cause everyone's like 6ft tall. It would be the opposite of when we went to India. Yeah. And the landscape, there was like, active volcanoes the entire time that we were there. No one should be living there.

Amy Poehler
Right? Right. Weird. It's a dangerous place. It felt dangerous and intrepid and really old.

Dan Shepherd
And you'd be on guard, which feels good. Yes. But small and not fancy at all. And then you've been to Sweden. I've been to Sweden.

Now, there I walked around and I was like, I'm dead average. My brother lives in Sweden, has for over a decade. And Sweden's funny. What I'm learning is the other countries that surround Sweden, they think Sweden thinks they're, like, all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're like the jewel in Scandinavia, 100%. And they definitely give off that vibe. I love Swedes, though. They don't do small talk. They're like, as a country, we don't do small talk.

Rob
And when I was growing up, the Brits and the Irish like the poetry of being romantic and talking kind of a million words, but not really saying what you mean and avoiding and being polite, and you walk away and you didn't get the job or whatever, is the weird thing. I loved it. And now give me a blunt portuguese person telling me I'm going the wrong way. Or a Swede that doesn't laugh at the joke. Or they get a cultural experiment that says that they'll be in a meeting and a guy will say to another guy, I think you're overreacting.

Dan Shepherd
Cause you're going through a divorce. And the guy's fine with hearing that in front of everybody, and then they just move on 100%. At my brother's wedding, they have, like, this job. You have to be the toastmaster. And he's just, like, running the wedding.

Rob
And his mother in law was like, when we first met you, we did not like you. Oh, wonderful. I live for that. Me too. So great.

And the american version would be. The longest thing about our daughter was. A blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know, I love it. Me too.

Dan Shepherd
Real talk explorer. Oh, my God. Okay, so you're going to Sweden. You have to look at my brother. Yeah, I would love to.

We're going to be there for a few. Oh, fun. And Iceland, too. And then end things. You travel a lot.

We do. That's good. I'm impressed. I've succumbed to the notion that possessions, they don't add anything, but the memories do. Yes.

Rob
That's great. I love you, Babers. This is so. I love you, Babers. It was so fun.

Thank you guys so much for having me. All right, everyone, go see inside out 2 June 14. And even more importantly, please check out women talking about murder. Yes, we have a bunch on that chain. I think we're gonna play a clip in our fact check.

Oh, you will watch that show? Yeah, yeah. I think we got clips. So we'll play a clip in the fact check and we'll chat about it. Yeah.

Thank you, guys. All right. I love you. Love you. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode.

Dan Shepherd
But we'll find out when my mom misses Monica comes in and tells us what was wrong.

You sound like a baby. When a baby's adjusting and it's crazy. It hits at a very weird spot. What if you pulled it, but then. It hurts my back.

Okay. What if we use the bigger two cushions? Well, just the big one instead of the backrest. That might help. Yeah, I think that'll actually solve all problems.

Why don't you go one the bottom? Okay. We're getting the couch cushions restuffed after probably four years after it needed it. Yeah. I have been noticing a lot lately that the guest is, like, sinking into a taco.

I see that. I see the guests adjusting more than interesting years. But then, you know, it's like, you win some, you lose some, you sink. But you have everyone's butt energy that's been there before you. Underneath you.

The power that's accumulating. Yeah. Are we keeping the old stuffing for. For fans to raffle off on? Onlyfans.

Amy Poehler
$2,000 stuffing. Yeah. Certainly some celebrities buttocks has been on there. I'm sure, like, some Bradley Cooper fan would probably pay a good amount. He farted.

Dan Shepherd
Well, we don't know. That's speculation. Yeah. I don't even know if it's been alleged. But.

By you? No. Okay. You woke up late today. Yeah.

You had a mix up. My alarm didn't go off. Okay. This is like the drop down menu on Facebook. It's embarrassing.

Amy Poehler
No, it's not. You don't think that it's possible? No. That you would set your alarm and it wouldn't go off? I don't think that's possible.

Okay. I do. You do? Yeah, I do. I don't know that it did in this case, but do I think it's possible?

Dan Shepherd
Yes, but what would happen? That it would always go off when you said it. It's a phone. Weird things happen. It's a piece of technology.

Amy Poehler
Like, two days ago, it started over in the middle of the night to, like, do its computer. Yeah. Like, things happen with the phone. Yeah. If it had an update and completely restarted itself, I could see where that would happen.

But that day, my alarm did go off. So then I don't even know if it can happen even with an update. Okay. I just. I feel that things in general have a capacity to fuck up.

I mean, we just listen to armchair anonymous story where, like, things happen all the time. Yeah, okay. But maybe I forgot to set it. That's a very high likelihood. But I had it open, and I had it at 830.

Cause I was deciding whether to do eight or 830, like, it was a whole thing. But maybe I didn't actually click it over. Maybe you didn't decide. Maybe I didn't. Maybe you got decision fatigue, and you're like, I'm gonna set it down and think about what I really want and then come back to it.

Also, there was a period of time where this was happening, and the sound was set to silent. Mm hmm. Yeah, that can happen, but I didn't. Set it to silent. It just, like, at some point.

Dan Shepherd
Well, what can happen, I have found, is when you create a new alarm, you have to go in and pick what all it's gonna do. Yeah. So I've had that. Well, more what's happened is I have a certain tone I like waking up to, and then occasionally, I'll set, like, a new alarm at a freaky time. I'm gonna wake up, and then a different alarm wakes me up, and I hate it.

And I'm like, God damn it. I should have taken the time to make sure that it was the same jingle I like. Yeah, open up your alarm, your clock, and tell me, how many. How many alarms do you have? It would take me.

Honestly, it would take me the whole episode to count. I have so many. I have one for almost every time of the day. Cause I set alarms a lot. If I have a zoom at 1030, I set one at 1010.

28. There's other days where I have a zoom at 1030. I'm like, I only need a minute. I'll set it at 1029. So virtually every time is in there.

Mine goes three. 3544-355-3545 615 six. 2636-465-5775 714 seven. 2573-735-7550 my God. Okay, we get it.

Yeah. We're not even till 08:00 a.m. wow. How many do you have? I delete it.

Amy Poehler
I delete. So for a long time, I had a ton of them, and I would just keep adding every time. And then I think somebody shamed me, and I was like, yeah, it's a good idea to delete. So now I have two, and I really like it. I like to keep 1111.

Dan Shepherd
Right. Of course. That's good luck for you. But I don't keep it on. I just like that showing.

Amy Poehler
Uh huh. See, I think. There's no way it would take me more time to scroll through than it would to set a new alarm. My lens is efficiency, so it would definitely take me longer to set a new alarm for 427 than it would for me to scroll to the existing alarm. Oh, interesting.

I mean, like, it's ugly. It's ugly, and I get it. There's too many. Yeah. I don't like it.

It's messy. Messy head, messy bed. And I am almost grateful that the weather caps it so, you know, you can set cities for the weather. Yep. And sometimes I find that frustrating, but then other times, I'm glad that they limit it.

Dan Shepherd
Do you. How many of those do you have? Is yours full? Let's see. I have.

Amy Poehler
I have Los Angeles, I have duluth, Georgia. Great place. And I have New York City. And that is all I have. That's all you got?

Yep. Those are the only ones I care about. That makes sense. Holy shit. Of course, I always have Brawley, because that's where the same sand dunes are.

Dan Shepherd
Oh, guess what temp we have in Brawley today? 94. 107. Currently with a high of 110. Wow.

Palm Springs, 105. I have Nashville. I have Palmdale. That's where I ride motorcycles. Nashville, obviously.

Santa Barbara, I don't need. I don't know why I have that on there. Button Willow is another racetrack I go to. It's 104 at button Willow today. Austin.

I'm there all the time. Portland. My family. Oh, Austin, Austin, Portland. My family lives there.

I want to know what the weather's like, where my family's at. Why? No, you don't. I do. You do?

Yes. Do you just, like. Is it part of your day? You look through the weather? No, not at all.

Amy Poehler
Okay. I think I wanted to know what the weather was like for them, so I added it. Yeah. And then we travel there. Well, that's why I have duluth.

Like, I do need that for the travel. And then New York and Miami Beach. I gotta know what's happening in Mia. Yeah, it doesn't really match up with your personality. I'll say.

Dan Shepherd
I just took, like, castaic off. Cause that's where I used to ride dirt bikes a lot. And I just took that off. Cause I haven't been riding dirt bikes there. It's 77 here.

Amy Poehler
That's nice. Ideal. I'm gonna go put shorts on after this. Oh, wow. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
So you woke up late and you were rushed? Yeah, I woke up at 1010, and I thought I heard, like. I kind of thought I heard the vibration of my alarm, which is what? Woke up, but it wasn't. Someone must have been calling me.

Oh, right. And so then I looked and it was 1010, which was horrific. I had a meeting at 930. I totally missed it. We were recording at eleven.

Right. This is tight turnaround. I have a lot to do. What do you have to do? Okay.

Amy Poehler
I have to make my evac. Pootie. Yes. Okay. I have to make my tea.

Dan Shepherd
Uh huh. Making tea is trickier than you'd think. It happens in parts. Okay. All right.

Amy Poehler
Cause you have to get the water to a boil on your kettle. That happens pretty quick. And then you have to pour the water on the tea. Then it's the steeping period. How long does that last?

Ideally for me, I like to steep between three and four minutes, sometimes five. But sometimes if I'm rushed like today, what I do is I set the, I set the, I set the water and then I run around, around, get out some energy because of that, out of my fear. And then I shower. Oh, like you could have maybe. I'm sorry, I messed up.

That's not what I do. So then I run around and you're scamper. I have to go take my probiotic on an empty stomach. And then I go and I look, and if all's well, then I pour the water on the teabag. Uh huh.

Then I shower. Oh, while it steeps. Good hack. Yeah. So you're not waiting?

No time. I can't wash my hair on a day like that. No way. So it's a quickie. It's a pits, titslits and dicks shower.

Then I have all this skincare stuff I have to do. And then I take, well, no. Okay. Okay. So then I get out.

Right? I get out. I dry off. I normally go and put my clothes on. Then I go and I take the teabag out, then I put the milk in, then I stir it.

Then I start my skincare routine. How long does that take? Depends on the day. Takes a minute. Cause ideally you let each serum sit for a second.

Dan Shepherd
Right? I use a serum and I have hacks for that. Okay, well, let's get to yours in a minute. Yeah, I'm not trying to pirate your. So anyway, that's really it.

Amy Poehler
But the skincare thing. And then I put on some makeup, then normally I have forgotten about the tea, I have forgot to drink any or do any of that. So then I have to pour it in a to go. Oh, wow. Okay.

Dan Shepherd
And I'm like, you're like impatient to get it, but then you forget to drink it. Isn't that ironic? Well, yeah. Cause I have so much to do. Right?

Yeah. There's just too much to do. I mean, I could. And every now and then, if I'm really rushed, I won't shower. Yeah, of course.

That's first to go. I felt I needed it. Okay. You had slept for 14 hours, so you like sweaty? No, I don't.

Amy Poehler
I don't. You go past eight, you wake up stinky. I think. No, I smell. I don't.

Dan Shepherd
You smell better. I don't think I smell bad. When I wake up. It's hard to know. Cause you're in it.

You've been. But I can tell when I have a smell. Marinating. Wow. Okay.

Amy Poehler
I'm gonna do an experiment next week or maybe the week after, and I'm gonna put papers out. Okay. With the date. Okay. It's all anonymous for the two of you.

Dan Shepherd
Okay. And you're gonna write down if you think I didn't shower. Oh, interesting. I don't. Well, that morning.

Okay. I doubt that that's gonna work. Why? Cause I've never really thought. Yeah.

I've never smelled. Yeah, yeah. It's not like you smell what I'm suggesting. I think that's just that I'm right. Well, what I'm suggesting is if a stranger walked into your room after a 14 hours slumber.

Slumber. There would be a thick human smell in there versus a six hour slumber. I think what you more need is test strips that stay in your living room. And then you wake up, and then you bring this test strip in there and it turns green if it smells like human odor. How about next week?

Yeah. Every day you guys come over and. Take a sniff, right? We wake you up, I'm gone. I'm gone.

Amy Poehler
No, I'm gone. Come over at. Come over at 10:30 a.m. i will have left. But that's a lot of time for that room to clear out.

Well, not if I woke up at 1010. We need to walk in your room and shake you awake. And when we open the door, we'll be like, yeah, she's been asleep for a long time. We're gonna be your alarm clock for the next week. That's good.

And then you'll say, okay, I think it was a ten hour sleep or a four hour. That's more the double blind taste test we need. All right. I will be playing with the amount of sleep time I get, which is. Going to be tricky because presumably we'll have the same arrival time every day or it would be known.

Dan Shepherd
Cause if we're waking you up at ten, we already know. So you're gonna have to be on your end going to bed earlier or later, which is hard. Yes, right, probably later. But waking up at 830 every day. I prefer if you guys come over at ten.

Okay. All right. Yeah, I'll be up for a while at that point. Then I can go to bed at like 05:00 a.m. one day, right?

Have your espresso martinis that night. Yeah, exactly. Cause if you guys came over at 08:00 a.m. and I went to bed at four, that's. It's gonna be pretty odor free in there is my guess at that point.

Amy Poehler
Well, this is what we'll find out. Can you guys agree to this? I'm basing this a lot on my mother, who occasionally would sleep like, you know, she could do a 1416 hours. I do think you are projecting your mom on me because you felt.

Dan Shepherd
Also just siblings. Siblings. Like if one of the siblings did 12 hours and you walked into someone's room was like eleven and they weren't awake yet, that generally was a time where it stunk. Yeah. Right?

Yeah. Like, did you ever walk into Neil's room and he put back 14 hours? I think that's a boy thing. I think it's a human thing. I know you want it to be a human thing, but I think it's a boy thing because I've gone into.

Amy Poehler
When I used to babysit, I would go into your room to clean up and stuff. I guess it would've been at least an hour after you were awake, though. But it stunk. If you were alone, it stunk. I'm like, you're full of Kristen's there.

Dan Shepherd
She absorbed the thing. It filters out. I've never smelled her stink like I have. We've stayed in hotels and stuff. Yeah.

The problem again is you have to enter the thing blind. I hear you about that. It's kind of like when I'm making spaghetti, I can't really smell that. It's starting to smell a lot like spaghetti. And then I leave the house and go grab something.

I come back in the house and. I'm like, oh, whoa, I think mine smells like cookies. Cookie boys. There's a cookie boy's been sleeping. I really would like to try this out.

Okay. I guess I have to give you keys. If you can't sleep with the door unlocked, you would never fall asleep. No, never. But if you knocked really loud and I woke up and ran.

Amy Poehler
No, that's bad. We have to break the seal to your bedroom. Oh. But, you know, I sleep with the door open. You're gonna have to sleep with it close.

That might be. That might be why I have no smell. Yeah, that's. See that? I'm doing the right thing.

Dan Shepherd
Yeah, I guess so. Wow. Then there's just a light smell throughout the entire apartment instead of a thick, heavy smell in your bedroom. I don't have thick. I have good.

Amy Poehler
I smell good.

Anywho, some people are good. I do believe that, like, people have a wide range of how much they smell like. I don't think it's just universal that everyone. Oh, I agree. Right?

Dan Shepherd
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cause one side of my family smelled differently than the other side of my family. I'll leave it at that. I'll let them figure out who was who. Yeah.

Amy Poehler
You know, it has no smell. Who? My dad. Really? He has zero smell.

Dan Shepherd
Wow. Did he have his olfactory glands removed? Maybe during the sim. Maybe when he got hooked up, they took out his smelliness. Yeah.

My girlfriend's father had his armpit glands removed. Cause he sweat through his business shirts too much. That was a thing they would do in the 80s. Yeah, they won't do that now. That's bad.

Well, and I bet it cut down on his body odor. Cause that's where two of the four olfactory glands are located on a caucasoid. I just don't think it's good to remove the ability to sweat. Yeah, I agree. Seems dangerous, especially if you move to a hot climate.

Yeah, you're gonna need to cool down or keep damp rags under your armpit. Oof. Also would work. Okay. Okay.

Amy Poehler
Now you tell me about your. What were you gonna tell me? Oh, your skincare. Oh, I was just gonna say I wash my face. I rinse my face with water.

Dan Shepherd
I dry it off, then I put the serum on. Yeah. And then I brush my teeth. Whoa. To give myself time for the serum to absorb.

And then I'll do, like, my testosterone shot. I'll build in a few little errands. I'll pee. Then I come back and put the moisturizer on. So I'm trying to build in a.

Amy Poehler
Couple few minutes to let it sink. To let it sink in. Okay. We Easter egg have a serum expert. No, we have a expert on who talks about rituals.

It's a really interesting episode. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I really liked it. But in it, he does talk about our morning routines, and me and you were kind of like, eh, like, we didn't have such strict.

As far as. Well, there was just a single question. Yeah. Cause I know I have. I don't wanna spoil it, but there was a single question, and it was basically about the order of a thing that everybody.

Everyone does. Yep. And me. And you didn't feel that strongly about it, whereas most people do. But that was like.

Dan Shepherd
That's one of the only things I didn't like. I know my morning's super ritualized. Well, no, I know, but I'm saying what you just said about the serum and then the teeth. I hate that you do that. Oh, really?

Amy Poehler
Yeah. I think that's gross. Because. Why? Mainly because I think some of the toothpaste is gonna get into the serum like I want.

Dan Shepherd
That makes sense. That's a good fear. But I don't use this. I have a beard. You don't.

So the serum's only under the eyes and on the forehead for me. Oh, you aren't putting it. So, yeah, I'm gonna have to rinse my mouth, but I won't rinse off any of the serum. Okay. Yeah.

If you had a beard, it would be a different story. I just never want to brush my teeth after I've washed my face. Sure, that's fine. I get that. Yeah.

But what I was gonna say is I didn't voice any concern about this. Trying to be a good family member. But now in public, I'm going to just tell you about the kind of hilarity. So Kristen went out of town this morning. Oh, yeah.

And she's gone for a few days. Yeah. And I think the first thing was like, oh, don't forget you have to take them to Delta singing at six tomorrow night. I'm like, okay, great. I'm just gonna have a thing at five and hopefully I'll be done in time.

Okay. Then it was, oh, and also remember, Lincoln's having her end of the year sleepover with six kids. Six kids at your house? At our house. So it's just me tonight, Friday night.

Okay, so tonight is the singing thing. So then six person sleepers over. Also, like, I'm like, how am I getting those kids from the school to the house? I don't own it. Eight pass.

And then I was like, I do own it. I'm gonna forget the roadmaster out to transport all these kids. Wait, why can't their parents drop them off? Well, I guess. Well, that ended up being a solution.

I'm gonna ask one of the parents to take three kids, and then I'll take three kids and my two kids. But anyways, monster sleepover solo. I was like, okay, so we got this singing out. Well, I feel outmanned. Yeah, big time.

And then Saturday, don't forget, end of your pool party. Oh. At another friend's house. It just doesn't stop. I was like, man, you picked a great three days to her.

Truly good for her. Yeah. And I didn't object to any of this. And I was like, great. Oh, and then don't forget, Monday, you're.

You volunteered for the field day. The field day. Have you done the sign up on the parent square app? And I'm like, I don't know how to operate. Oh, is that why we are not doing a fact check on Monday?

Yes, because I am at the school all day long operating a bouncy house and then some other event. I just. All I'm saying is my next 96 hours are gonna be fully in service at all times to children doing children thing. Now, tell me the truth. Because of that, are you, like, between 03:00 p.m.

Amy Poehler
and 05:00? Yeah. Are you like, how do I fucking blow up? Celebrate. I earned, like, in n out.

I earned cocaine. Are you gonna drink? Please don't drink between three and five. I'm gonna drink between three and five and show up as a mess on my 05:00 thing. Like, are you doing that?

Like, well, fuck, I gotta, like, do something for myself? No. You know, I will say this, and people probably won't like this, but this is a very common thing in my meetings, is that when their wives leave, it's almost like some weird residual parents are gone. Yeah. It's.

Dan Shepherd
No one's looking. And so there's this weird angst that's just very common with addicts when they know they're, in fact, one of the dudes. My meeting had, like, 30 days, and his wife was going out of town for four or five days, and we were all like, okay, dude, you need a full schedule. Like, you're calling me at this time. You're calling like, we know that's a dicey situation.

Amy Poehler
Same with going on vacations without your wife or family. Sure, sure. And I have that to varying degrees where I'm like, oh, yeah, no one's around. But the only nice thing about this whole schedule is, like, I have none of that because I'm not for 1 second. Well, that's what I'm.

Dan Shepherd
No one's looking. You have 2 hours. That's my whole point. Yeah, but I just. I don't have that sense of like, oh, the boss is away.

I can do whatever I want. In fact, it's the boss is away, and I don't get to do one thing I want for the next, which is kind of nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's good.

Amy Poehler
Good structure. It extinguishes that angst. Yeah. Ooh, what are you gonna have for dinner? For the sleepover?

Dan Shepherd
Quick, just to put a fine point on it, I often have referenced it in the ads we read for Brooke Lennon. So when you're a guy and you go out of town and you're by yourself and you get into your hotel room, you get bear naked and get on the bed, some people. We're not gonna. You do? Yeah, I do.

And a lot of friends I have do. Yeah. And it's time to masturbate. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's time to masturbate, and it's time to go for it.

Like, use lotion, be bare, naked, writhe around on the sheets. Like, make a real. Make love to yourself. Rob, can you relate to this at all? I don't take a lot of solo trips, so I'm not really.

Amy Poehler
Thank you for being honest. I think he was dishonest. I think he was honest. He likes to be like, you masturbate all over the place. I can do that at home.

Well, that's kind of. I'm like, what? There are so many people in my house. Like, masturbating at home is never a relaxing endeavor. I just.

I don't like hearing this only because I don't like thinking about other people in the hotel bed who were in the hotel, knowing I did that before. Like, if guys are just constantly doing. This, well, women are, too. Yeah, I don't like that either. To think, like, some woman was masturbating and her juices got places.

Dan Shepherd
Well, the sheets are new, though. They don't always do a. I don't know. I don't want to. Okay.

Amy Poehler
But anyway, why would you bring that up?

Dan Shepherd
Cause it was part of the no one's looking thing. It's like. Cause there's nothing really I can do, so the most indulgent thing I can do is, like, make love to myself. Oh, my God. That's what I'm saying.

That's really all I've got left. Something kind of sad about that. Yeah, sure.

Amy Poehler
That's not true. You can. Well, it's kind of true. I think single people probably look up an old flame in the city they're in, and then they're like, oh, I'm gonna go get drinks. I go to a nice restaurant or.

Dan Shepherd
Something because I can go out to eat at all times, so I gotta do something I can't normally do. Look, it's not like Kristen would never shame me for masturbating, of course, but I also would never want her to walk in. I'm bare naked on the bed, like, really going for her warm washcloth I'm using. Oh, my God. Like, really pampering myself.

I would be really self conscious if she walked in on that. So when I get to a hotel room, it's time to, like, really spoil myself. Yeah. Like, aren't you worried that the washcloth was, like, accidentally left from before? Someone did blow their nose, but they.

I'm not a. I don't really have that germ phobia. I don't think about much about that. I'll more think about that if the carpet. If the hotel carpet.

Well, you pray. No, if there's carpet on the floor, I do think, well, you can't change carpet when the guests leave. Ew. I. Yeah, yeah.

And we've all seen those 2020 exposes where they take the black light in there and there's all manner of fluid all over the place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I want to get kinky, I'll go off the bed and roll around on the floor. No, you don't. No.

If I want a real dirty experience. Ew, you come back with an STD. Try explaining that. I'll watch pornography. I don't normally do that, you know, try to eventize it.

Amy Poehler
Well, that's interesting, because you say you claim that you just don't like pornography that much, but now it's kind of sounding like you like it, but you just don't have the opportunity. No, no, no. It's neither of those two options. I don't dislike it. I don't do it.

Dan Shepherd
For whatever reason, I'm not a big pornography person. It's not really ever been my thing. Right. But that's not to say I don't like it. If I'm like, again, I'm the special moment with me and myself in a hotel room.

I'm like, oh, here's another thing we don't do. We don't really watch pornography. Let's take some time again. If I have to masturbate my real life, I'm just kind of getting it over with. I'm in and out, right?

I'm being efficient. But this is an event, and so we're gonna get the iPad out and do some surfing. Really? Event ID. Private browser.

Amy Poehler
I hope you don't want the kids opening up that iPad. No. Well, they can. They're not allowed on my iPad anyways. I don't play that game.

Dan Shepherd
They don't know my code. No, see, you can't relate to any of this. Cause you. I can relate to half of it. I cannot relate to the porn piece.

Amy Poehler
I don't. I don't get anything out of it. Out of porn. Right. I am more of an imagination girl.

Dan Shepherd
Sure. But I'm saying you don't. You can't relate to the. No one's looking. I'm by myself.

Amy Poehler
Yeah, that's my life. Exactly. That's why all this is very foreign to you. I'm sure it's not. I also get it.

Like, you're in a new environment. There's so much. Would you ever feel kinky when your parents would leave for the full day and you were in your house all by yourself? Would you get any kinky feelings then? No.

Dan Shepherd
No. I didn't necessarily like the feeling of nobody there. But I do understand. You're in a new environment, and that feels fun and novel. Yes, yes.

Amy Poehler
So, I. I mean, I. It's not that I don't. Well, sorry, I just said it's gross to think about, but that you're guilty of it. Yeah.

Yeah, sure, sure. I'll bring my boy with me on trips. Sure, sure. And it is fun and in a new. New.

Dan Shepherd
Yes. Maybe there's a city view out the. Way, but you're right, it's a little different for me. Cause I can just. Whenever.

Yeah. Your house is also crawling with people. Like, it's a disaster whether they're in the house or not. They're walking the perimeter. They're going in and out of their cars.

Amy Poehler
Like, there's. It's a train station, there's a CNBC. Right. Well, I have my family. Then I have my sister, who's in and out occasionally throughout the day.

Dan Shepherd
Then Anna's in and out throughout the day. The dog walker just comes in the house and gets the dogs. Yep. Comes in. Yeah.

And. Yeah. It's just. I never, ever fully think I'm gonna be alone or I am alone, or I'm going to remain alone for much time. Yeah.

Even this morning. So normally I drop the kids off at school. I come home, Kristen's at the table doing something. Right. I always enter, and she's there.

Amy Poehler
Right. And she's out of town. Right. So I got back in the house this morning, and I was like. I had that wave of, like, house to myself.

Dan Shepherd
Oh, I'm here by myself. And then my sister showed up 15 minutes later. Yeah. I mean, I love her. So always happy to see Carly, of course.

But I had 15 minutes where I was like, oh, yeah. Oh, I love this place by myself. Yeah, you can't really behave in the same way. Even. Let's even take it out of the gutter.

Amy Poehler
Right. Even if I like and if I. We've recorded back to back in a fact check. So we've been in the attic for 6 hours. I've been talking.

Dan Shepherd
I haven't looked at any of my text messages or my emails, and I come in the house and I go lay in my bed just to look at my phone. Yeah, I can only get about four minutes of that. And one of the two kids will come in the room, and of course, they're gonna tell me about their day, and I'm gonna stop everything. And I wanna be available for that. Yeah, I'm grateful for it.

But also, like, even, like, lay down and look at your phone for six minutes is really off the table. Yeah, that would drive me crazy, too. I like knowing who's in my space, who's not in my space. If I can run to do my tea naked. Like, you can't really do that if you might have a person there.

Yep. All that to say. Totally worth the trade for me. Well, of course, you know, like, when I went to Austin, I had a week all by myself to do whatever I wanted. After three days, I was like, I hate being alone.

I want to be with my family, and I want to be interrupted. So it's really. You can't win. Yeah, that's life. Anyway, you know, people say that's one of the sayings is that's life in the big city.

Do you know that saying? I've heard it. And we can actually say that all the time. Cause we do. We live in a big city, in the biggest city.

Amy Poehler
We live in a really big city. Yeah. Okay, so this is for Amy Poehler. What a dream. Unbelievable.

Dan Shepherd
You know what I like about her, too, is she's. I find myself betaing myself a bit for her, like. What do you mean? Yeah, what do I mean? I don't know.

You just have this reverence for her. You have a respect for her. Deep. Yeah, really a reverie. And a rivalry.

No. No rivalry whatsoever. I just. I feel like I'm very deferential to her and she deserves it. I didn't get that.

Amy Poehler
But I got that you respect her and you respect her opinion and like, she was calling you out on things and you were able to hear it, which I liked. Yeah. I accept her opinion pretty quickly. Yeah. Now, okay, in this episode, you say that for your birthday, you told Aaron you want him to make you that steak with butter in the woods.

Dan Shepherd
Yes. So I asked him to send me the video. Oh, you did? Does he still have it? Yeah, he has it.

I bet it took him an hour and a half to find it on his face. He did say. Oh, God. Yeah, I bet he said, I know exactly what you're talking about. It was a lot of experience.

Okay, great.

Right? There's, like, the person's dropping ten sticks of butter into a big kettle. Rosemary rig of rosemary, just popping onions. You think this triggers misophonia? Probably not.

Amy Poehler
This is like ASMR. Oh, he's pulling out a tomahawk. A huge tomahawk steak. This fucking meal.

Dan Shepherd
We can't even list the ingredients fast enough. But now there's a big bed of salt that he's putting. Oh, my God. And pepper. Oh, this tomahawk.

He's grilling it. What, do you slap it on a log? Right? I can't see that. Oh, he's cutting it.

Amy Poehler
Oh, he's putting a chimichurri sauce he made on it. Oh, fuck. He's outside in the woods with an open fire. This is okay? It's not gonna turn out as good.

No, I think Aaron's gonna do a great job. It's a tall order. But I think this might be one of those types of videos. So unsynced. Liz was telling us about this type of cooking video that's sexual and a little.

Well, it ranges. But one of them was absolutely disgusting. He spits on it, and it's horrible. But this feels like a tame version of it, but also a little sexual. I think we could call it.

Dan Shepherd
Instead of pornographic, we could call that softcore porn. So maybe you're more like softcore. You want some story and some flowers. And the sounds are pretty sexual, but it getting dipped in the butter and. Stuff, and the guy's all thrown away.

He's not mugging. He's not? Right. The other guy, I saw the clip you guys posted. There's a guy?

Amy Poehler
Yeah. He was too much. He owes a lot. And I hope Aaron makes it for you. Me too.

And it'll be delicious. And did I mention then I also gave Charlie a recipe he has to make? Yeah. I didn't ask him. And that has to happen in the woods as well.

And you say that it was like, eggs or something. Yeah. It was like hamburger made on eggs. Like, the bun is eggs? Yeah.

Wow. Yeah.

Is that just gonna be, like, a boys party? I don't really know. I've only gotten as far as, like, asking them to make me those meals. You have six months. I need you to start thinking this through.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. And I like to be asked to do something. Okay.

Cook something, or I won't sing. Chop wood for the fires they need. I could try. You need to help me now so I can practice. Listen, if you're afraid of swimming, you need to be way more afraid of swinging an axe.

Hmm. That's interesting. Weirdly, I'm not. You should be, though. I'm just saying, you look at these.

Dan Shepherd
Incident rate. No, but listen, I. You think you're good with an axe? Yeah. Okay.

Amy Poehler
And I'm not. I know my limits in water. Well. Oh, my God. You're here to take me down a peg.

Dan Shepherd
You don't know your limits. You've only swam, but you have considered that somehow you lost that ability. Yeah. Just reiterating what you have said yourself. Well, I know.

Amy Poehler
Here's what I do know. I'm definitely not a strong swimmer. Even if I can. Can swim, I haven't done it in, like, 20 years, so most likely is I'm not good at it. But you have no proof of that.

Dan Shepherd
You just have a feeling. You think I'm gonna just, like, boop, and then just, like, swim like a little fish. I think it's. It's very similar to the bike analogy. If you can ride a bike, you can ride a bike.

Amy Poehler
Do you remember what happened when I rode the bike? You mostly rode the bike. Mostly. But I had a big incident. You did?

Dan Shepherd
Yeah. But you. It was extreme. You decided take a bike out into the real world and curbs and sidewalks and streets. Right?

Yeah. Again, you're probably not gonna have to. You were forced to ride with folks that were more competent at a. At a level that maybe turned out to be a little too high for you at one time. But you're not gonna be asked to swim with other people at their pace for 2 miles in the ocean.

This is. Can you get in the pool and not drown? And I'm. I really feel comfortable you can do that. Yeah, I think that's probably true, but I think I'm way better at axe throwing than.

Okay, axe throwing is safer than chopping wood. Oh, I meant chopping. Is it. Cause you cut your leg open and stuff. Well, you're going from behind your head.

You're swinging over your head down at this log. I agree. I can't do that. Yeah. I just think of all the things you're afraid to do, this should be higher on your list.

Amy Poehler
Well, that's interesting. Cause you don't like that I'm scared of things. But then you just added something to the list. There's so many ways to think about it. All this.

Dan Shepherd
I think I've just demonstrated that I actually do have your best interests in mind. And I do see threats for you. So I'm not just willy nilly. I think I'm. If anything, I think I should have bought myself credibility just now by saying, you probably shouldn't try to cut wood unsupervised or without a lesson.

Amy Poehler
Okay, well, if you. If you tell me now that that's your birthday wish, or I seems like maybe it's more Rob's birthday wish that I do. Yeah, I feel like his is more kinky. Wants to see you cut wood. But then I will.

Dan Shepherd
What does she have to wear while she cuts wood? Rock. Should I get a peel for it? I will take a lesson first. Okay.

Amy Poehler
And then I'll practice. Okay. Aaron could give you a lesson. He's chopped a lot of wood in his life. Or you could just build a fire.

Dan Shepherd
It also seems dangerous. He's gonna find manly things that are. Gonna be part of. Cause he's gonna have to be manly. Cause the whole event is manly.

Cooking tomahawk steaks in the woods. He has got a point. Ironic. I mean, look, that's so not true. Cooking, generally speaking, is generally a female activity.

Amy Poehler
And the women, the women give the barbecuing to the men because the men want something to do with cooking and meat. But women know how to do it. Yeah, women can do anything except chop barbecue. Men do. Conventionally do the barbecuing.

Dan Shepherd
We would agree on that. I mean, when I lived in. I don't have a single image in my mind right now of a woman working the grill. And I've been to a million barbecues. Well, literally, I worked the grill at Julia's birthday two years ago.

Was it all women? No, there were men there. What men? What kind of Julia's men were there? There was a lot of people there.

Amy Poehler
And I did that. And then also when I. In college, we had a grill. Three girls had a grill, and we grilled all the time. If it's all grills, sure.

Dan Shepherd
But, like, look, we've been on 100 pod vacations, and who grills? Well, again, because you guys, like, want to. It gives you guys self care. Want to or whatever. This is the fact.

I'm just pointing out the facts. That is the facts. But I think the other piece of it is that if we wanted grilled food and no man wanted to do it, it'd be like, yeah, of course we'll do it. But to be very clear, I never said women can't grill. I said, in general, men do the grilling.

Not that women can't do can't grill. Of course they can. They can do anything. It's more like, get out of the kitchen. Leave me alone.

Go cook this meal. Yeah. Look at. Watch a barbecue commercial. I mean, they know who they're selling briquettes to.

Charcoal briquettes. Right. We agree that societally has become a thing. Yeah. That's all I'm saying.

Amy Poehler
But I think that's more of we've decided that's a manly thing. So then men take on that task. And it's a hundred thousand year old story. It's not brand new. Women gathered and men hunted meat.

Dan Shepherd
So men have been in charge of the meat from the jump. Yes, but when you cook meat for any other occasion that's not grilled, women are doing it. I agree. So it's like it's in the kitchen somehow. Yeah, exactly.

I know. I agree. Okay. Dance floor songs. Dance floor songs.

Amy Poehler
Hundred best party songs of all time. Oh, okay. Cause you might have a dance party. She had a dance party. Celebration number one.

No, but keep guessing. No, there's too many songs in the universe. I won't get it. Wow. If it's not celebration, it is a woman.

Dan Shepherd
Diana Ross. Yes. Yeah. What's the song? I know the song.

Fuck. Wow. I know. It's Diana Ross. I'm surprised.

Amy Poehler
That's good. What's the name of the song? I'm coming out. Yeah, I'm coming out. Yep.

Whoa. Number two, village people. No, I'm nervous. This isn't a good list. Uh oh.

Dan Shepherd
What's number two? Number two is I love this song. It's two one two by azalea Banks. Featuring lazy J. Azalea Banks is the one who said I was better looking in real life on live television.

Amy Poehler
Really? Yes. I'm always trying to remember the name. Wow. That comes up in this episode, too.

Dan Shepherd
Oh, my God. That's weird. Fucking major. Ding ding ding. Yeah, that's a big dinghy.

Whoa. But I'm shocked to see it at number two here. Love at first sight by Kylie Minogue. This is a very modern list. Well, except Diana Rock.

Right. But Michael Jackson should be definitely above all these. Well, 1999 by Prince is on here. That's great. Was that eight?

Amy Poehler
That's five. Okay. Celebration by cool and the gang. Yeah, that's a good one. Push it.

Push. It's great. Yeah. It's not just new. Rock with you is 13.

Dan Shepherd
That's way too far down the list. I don't have time to keep going, but there's baby got backs on here. Groove is in the heart, grooves in the heart. A good line.

Amy Poehler
Wake me up before you go. Wake up before you go go. Keep going. Okay. Don't start now by Dua Lipa.

Yeah, I knew I'd get you on that. Yeah. Good job. All that she wants by AC of bass. You know, Ace of bass was my first cassette tape.

Dan Shepherd
Really? Because of full house. I saw the sign. Yeah. Honestly?

Amy Poehler
Yes. That is why you have said in. The past that all of your favorite music, you. Tv from tv. Yeah.

I just found a new song that I love from a tv show. What? During the flightless bird, where we do the top tv episodes, one of David's favorite was an episode of. Of Dave, and he played a clip, and the beginning has a song, and I really liked it. It's not Dave's song.

Okay, I'm gonna play it. Okay. I really like it. I think it might be popular, but. Popular?

Dan Shepherd
That's from wicked. Good job. Is that on the list?

Amy Poehler
Do you know this? Yeah. Dee de lady. Do do.

Sugar man by deronda. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
Didn't I give you everything that's been on my, like, songs for, like, three years? Three years? Yeah. You've heard that in the car with me? Never heard it.

Amy Poehler
Anyway. Yeah, I really like that song. And that's. That's the new song I'm listening to, currently on repeat. And that is from tv.

Dan Shepherd
Mm hmm. So that is where I find most of my songs. Yeah. That's where you go to discover. Yeah.

Amy Poehler
Cause the emotion is already tied to it. Yep. Shortcut. Easy. Oh, I wanna dance with somebody.

Dan Shepherd
I wanna dance with somebody huge. Ding, ding, ding. Kevin Costner. Somebody who loves. Have you ever been in this position where you've been in the car with people?

Amy Poehler
Okay. This used to be a thing when I. I had a group of friends, and when we would do, like, road trips or whatever, we were in the car. One of the friends loves to sing and would sing loudly to the song, and it drove everyone nuts. Yeah.

Dan Shepherd
You thought of this? Cause I just sang along to that song. Well, it reminded me of, like. Oh, yeah. When people sing along, it ruins the song.

Amy Poehler
Well, look, I think people feel differently about this. I mean, sometimes it doesn't. And if ever everyone's singing, no one thinks about it. But sometimes you're not in this case. But sometimes you're trying to listen to the song.

To listen to the song. And then if somebody's singing it, it does ruin it. It happens every single morning on the way to school, which is one of the two girls wants to sing the song and the other one tells them not to. And then they try to take turns singing the songs. And it's a big thing.

See, so this is. But I have a wonderful association with it because Aaron and I knew the words to all the. We had all the same favorite songs. We were, like, 50 favorite songs. And everywhere we drove, we sang out loud to the songs.

Yeah. It was more important to us to sing together than it was to hear the real song. Well, that's different. If you want to hear a song for the first time. Yeah.

And someone's singing it, that can be hard. But, like. Yeah. If you're on, like, jess and I listen to music, as we talked about, we went to Carlsbad and we come back from the airport and we'll sing. Or mouth, but that's what we're doing, so it's fun.

Like you and Aaron. But sometimes if you're just trying to hear a song and people sing it, it can really make people want to pull their hair out. I'm sure people probably listening were like, let me just hear this song that Monica likes. That's fair. It probably just says how tolerant each individual is.

Dan Shepherd
Well, I guess there's a lot of different. I think it needs more follow up information. Okay. Is the person singing out loud to impress you that they know the words of the song? That's distasteful.

Amy Poehler
Yeah. Are you singing because it gives you great joy to sing along to the song and it's internal and not performative, then I have a different opinion of it. Yeah, I get that. Like, I'm not at any point, do I think I have a good voice or someone's gonna be impressed with how I sing this song. It doesn't come across like that.

Dan Shepherd
I bet it does. Sometimes I catch myself sometimes going, shut up. You're ruining a song. Cause my impulse, I'm like, lincoln. I.

In fact, living now with my doppelganger is so illuminating because she has to. She sings like I do, where she gets a song in her head and she can't stop. Like it's a fucking tick. Yeah. And so being on the business end of it has been illuminating.

You know, like, when we were in Lisbon a couple times, I had to say, like, okay, maybe three more times with that song. Oh, yeah. Like, don't stop now. But I don't think. Think I can go a 50th time on the song.

So, like, give. You really enjoy the next three. But I'm gonna need a break from this song, and I don't think you have to tell most people that. But you. You do need to tell me that, and you need to tell her.

Amy Poehler
Okay. For the record, I don't think my wife is fine with my singing all the time. I'm sure it drives her crazy. I have to police myself. We can't speak for her.

This is all allegedly. Okay. We were talking about. Talking about stand up and comedy. Stand up has tripled in size over the last decade.

Dan Shepherd
Ah. So I'm not imagining. Yeah, you're not imagining it. Ticket sales for live comedy have exploded over the last decade. In 2012, gross sales were 371.4 million.

Amy Poehler
In 2023, 909.6 million. A billion dollars. That's so awesome. Yeah. I love the notion of comedy generating a billion dollars.

Me too. Isn't that crazy, though, to put in perspective, all of comedy equals Taylor Swift's, like, however many comedians selling out however many arenas all over the place. I know. She's a beast. She's a beast.

Dan Shepherd
Ow. All right. That was fun. You're fun. You're fun.

Yeah. I'm borderline annoying, and I know you're not. I am. I am. I have to police myself if I let myself go.

I know I would be very annoying. Because, you know, annoying is subjective. Exactly. I don't think Aaron's ever been annoyed by me, but. But I have certainly annoyed a lot of people.

I'm certain of it. Well, I'm around. I'm around people like me where I don't feel the way I feel about Aaron. And I'll go, like, give us a break. Yeah, give us a break.

Okay. Everyone needs a break. Everyone needs a little break right now. And I think. I think that could be something about me sometimes.

Amy Poehler
Wow. Mm hmm. Who are you gonna be now? You mean potatoes? You got the big ones.

Dan Shepherd
That's sling blade. Oh, I thought it was the oatmeal guy. That sounds very similar, but he's got more of a molassesy tone. Oh, I see. Eat your Quaker oats.

They're good. They're all some goddamn american. Hit your knees and do a good round of prayers. Should be on there for four to 5 hours. Go and have a snack, get some physical exercise, get back on your knees and connect with the guy at the big guy upstairs.

Okay? Come in the house, do some work, do some yard work, then hit your knees for some pre supper prayers, then have dinner with all the trimmings. Well, that was nice. Don't forget to get your blood sugar checked regularly. Diabetes is a silent killer, and it'll sneak up on you.

Hit your knees and ask the big man upstairs to liberate you from that high glycemic condition. So a little different from all the big ones. It's a little different. Real similar. I know.

Amy Poehler
Real. Be hard to know which one I'm doing also. Cause one was 14 minutes and one was 1 second. I can only remember. I used to know more lines from the movie, but they.

I've never seen it. I know. It's one of the greatest. Yeah, there's a lot I haven't seen. Tour de force.

Dan Shepherd
Okay, so, as promised, before we go, we're gonna leave you with some really fantastic clips from women talking about murder. We hope you enjoy it. We know you're gonna enjoy it to. Be on it, so you're welcome. All right, enjoy.

Rob
Bye. Women talking about murder is about two women helping women not to get murdered. This is Jo best. I like to stay close to home due to the fact, you know, I've been stalked. I've almost been murdered many, many times.

Dan Shepherd
This is Donna. I love it all. I'm a yes person. I love a road trip, and I love a city at night. So I just walk around and, you know, say hi to whoever I pass.

I'll go to a temple. I'll go to a church. I'll go to a seance. I'll go to someone's basement. When he says, come on over, I'm.

Amy Poehler
Worried sick about Donna, but, you know, that's what makes it work between us. I am sort of her protector. I like to feel that I am a mama bear to all women who are about to be murdered.

Her body was found at the bottom of the red rocks on day three of a women's yoga retreat. If I could have only one bumper sticker, that bumper sticker would say, it's always the husband. So Jobeth, today's murder happened on a cruise ship. Of course it did. I love cruises.

Of course you do. His body was found in Doug's basement, bludgeoned to death by a pet rock. Oh, do we know the pet rock's name? Cause that might be a clue.

Should we do my wrap up? Yes. This has been Jo Beth and Donna. And as always, don't go in basements. Don't cross state lines alone.

Don't ever load something into the backseat of your car unless you're facing outward. Don't let the gas guy in your house. Ever. Don't go jogging. Don't go walking.

Don't have affairs. Don't go on a cruise. Don't do sports. And finally, do not have fun. Love you all.

Stay indoors. My babies.

Amy Poehler Returns

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Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1: Introduction and Background

2: Discussing "Inside Out 2"

3: On Creating and Podcasting

4: Personal Growth and Therapy

5: Conclusion and Future Projects

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

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Transcript