Getting Body Shamed & Getting in an Argument

Abby Smith

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Nothing ever makes it okay to comment on someone else's body negative things. Are you comfortable showing people what your belly looks like? Yeah. Whoa. That is actually so crazy.

Matthew Smith

Our five year wedding anniversary is coming up. That's crazy. I can't believe we've been together that long. I love telling time. Which is funny.

Abby Smith

Cause, like, when we first got married, it was kind of embarrassing to use the word husband. Now it's something I'm, like, so proud of. I don't agree with that. I 1000% agree, Abby. Matt, here's why I agree.

Matthew Smith

Do you know how success. Okay, no, no, no. Let me tell you why. You talk, and then I'll talk. Welcome back to unplanned.

Everybody in our family's getting sick again. Woo. You're sick. I can feel it coming on. Oh, my gosh.

Abby Smith

Why is that? Every time I'm sick, you are, like, I feel it too. Well, we kiss each other, and then sometimes you freaking use my toothbrush, so I'm not shocked. You have not used your toothbrush in a long time. I am not shocked at all that I'm getting sick from you right now.

Matthew Smith

And I'm not shocked that our son is sick. I feel like every month, now that we have two kids, every month, the whole family gets sick. It's just, like, a common occurrence. I don't feel that bad, honestly. I need to start doing iv drips more often and taking my vitamin C.

I actually took my vitamin C. The. Difference between me being sick and you being sick is like, I go to the gym. I still get up. I still do my thing.

Abby Smith

You. You're like, I just have to sleep for 12 hours. That actually is my plan tonight. My plan to keep myself from getting sick is I'm gonna go to bed at, like, freaking 08:00 cause it actually works. Like, if you look up online the medical research on what to do if you're sick, it's like, sleep and drink liquids.

Matthew Smith

Like, that's kind of the core. You could just pretend you're not sick, and then you psych your brain. We should have talked to doctor amen about that. Actually, that doesn't work. Doctor amen.

Abby Smith

Can you convince your brain that you're not sick? Because I do that all the time. Well, Abby, okay, there's a difference. Like, placebo is a real thing, right? So you can actually enhance your mood and all these things.

Matthew Smith

If you think that psyching yourself out is gonna work, but you can't, like, trick yourself into getting rid of your diabetes, or you can't. You can't trick yourself into getting rid of your ADHD. And I think in the same way. And ADHD to the common cold. I know, but, like, I think in some ways, yes.

You know, if your mood's better, you might have a better recovery with being sick. But at the end of the day, if you're freaking sick, I think you. Need to do a little bit of all of those things. Like, yes, I slept in today. I am drinking hot tea right now.

Abby Smith

I took a decongestant. I drank water. But then I also went to the gym. I'm gonna go about the rest of my day. Like, it's normal.

You gotta do a little bit of all things, but for you, you're like, the only thing you can do is sleep. The weirdest thing, though, is when you're sick, you'll just, like, you'll feel bad. So then you'll, like, take a bath at night. Oh, yeah. And do all these things.

Matthew Smith

And I'm like, why don't you just go to bed? Like, why don't you actually just do what your body needs to fight off the sleep? I cannot do what you do. I literally cannot sleep for 12 hours when I'm sick. I'm like, I'm exhausted.

I'm gonna go to bed. Like, I'm gonna go fight this thing off. No, I'm like, I'm gonna go fight this thing off. I'm gonna take a hot bath. I'm gonna drink some tea.

Abby Smith

I'm gonna take a decongestant. I'm gonna drink more water. Except I haven't been drinking enough water. Yeah, the. The thing is, I think it's our children infecting us.

Do you wanna know something? That this is just switching the subject. We have a bad system here because kids obviously drool a lot. They don't wipe their noses. They don't cover their cough or their sneeze.

They. And then I've been catching our toddler sneaking hits of his baby's passy. What? His baby. Baby brother's past.

Matthew Smith

He's stealing the pasty quite a bit. Yeah, well, you haven't even noticed that. I've noticed it, like, once. But I didn't know. As a common thing, every time I turn the corner, he has the baby's binky.

Abby Smith

And he doesn't even like those kind of binkies. That's how he's so desperate. Because we made a new rule. Our toddler can only have his binky in the crib. Did you know that that was an issue we had in my family?

Matthew Smith

My brother always stole my binky. I don't remember that. I was too little to have a memory. Right? He won't take him out of Auggie's mouth.

Abby Smith

Okay, he hasn't taken them out of his mouth, but he will. Like, if there's a stray one laying around, he'll pop it in, and then he'll look at me and laugh. Cause he knows he's not supposed to have it. My parents had the binkie fairy come and deliver a Thomas the train engine set for my brother and I when he got rid of all his binkies. I don't know if they did that for when I got rid of my binkies.

Matthew Smith

Cause I have no memory of this. But just from what my parents have said, like, they had the Binky fairy come and deliver all these gifts in exchange for the binkies. And I think we even buried some binkies in the dirt. Like, it was kind of weird. It was almost like a ritual type thing.

Okay, are we gonna bury binkies? I saw a video of this. I actually think this is a really good idea, is if we use the binkies as currency. Like, similar to what you're saying your parents. But, like, say we go to target, we're, like, Griffin really wants, I don't know, whatever it could be at the.

Abby Smith

Oh, one of those, you know, we should do this with is those toy cars. But Griffin is obsessed with trucks and cars. And we want to get him one that he can actually ride in. Probably when he's two, and that's around the same time that he'll be needing to get rid of his binkies. We can just pay for it, but then tell the.

We can gauge the cashier, but if they seem like they would be fun, like, we could be like, hey, like, he's gonna pay for these with his. And then like, give him the binkies. That's really cute. I love that idea. Actually.

Let's do that. Cuz then that's kind of like also symbolizing, like, okay, this was. These were for when you were a baby. And now that you're big, you can have a car. But it's.

Matthew Smith

I like that idea. When do they need to have gone? I don't even know what the rules are. I asked his pediatrician said to like. Okay, like, we're getting close.

Abby Smith

No, no, not like by two, but like, when they're two is when you start getting rid of them. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, don't take binkies ever. He kind of needs those to fall asleep.

Matthew Smith

Like, we just have them in his crib. I'm terrified for that. For nighttime, he might switch to sucking on his thumb. Well, he has been waking up more in the night, which has been sad. He was up a lot last night.

Coughing because. He's coughing because you guys are both sick. Well, it's cuz he's starting to get separation anxiety. Yeah, he got it. I didn't tell you.

Abby Smith

Got at the gym yesterday. I offer the kids care and he got really sad. He kept like. But they said as soon as I left. Cause I was like, I just have to walk away.

Cause I did. I worked at a nursery, like in college and I knew that as soon as the parents leave, they're okay. And that's exactly what happened. They said as soon as you walked away, he started playing and having fun and then he didn't even wanna leave. It always works like that.

Like, they don't want you to leave and then all of a sudden they don't wanna leave. Last night when I was reading to him, I was able to just like immediately transition into singing you are my sunshine. And because you weren't there and Augie wasn't there, I think there was less distractions for him. And he did like whine a tiny bit, but I just like got him in his crib, got him the binkies, shut the sleep tent. Boom.

Matthew Smith

And then like, no more crying right to bed. He does. It's a little worse when I do it. But he has been fighting bedtime a lot more. Do you think there's any correlation with the swimming lessons that we've been doing for him?

Cause I wonder if that's my mom's theory. As soon as he started swim lessons, that is when he started fighting bedtime. Yeah. I don't know. I have mixed feelings about the swimming lessons.

Maybe the separation anxiety was almost enhanced by the swim lessons because he does not like being away from us. Well, the separate, like, if I'm in. The pool with him, he's totally comfortable with me holding him and playing with him. He'll jump into the water, no, floaties on to me, knowing that I'll pick him up. He trusts me, but I feel like he doesn't trust the swim coach.

Abby Smith

That's a good theory, actually. Like, maybe it's not the swimming lessons. Maybe it's the fact that we're not participating with him. I almost wonder, if I was in the water, if he would be a. Lot more comfortable with the swim coach.

Super intense ISR? Is that the name of it? What does that even stand for? I have no idea. It's honestly a little pricey, but it's worth it, because I don't want our kids to ever, ever be in a situation where I don't even think it's.

Really, like swim lessons. Like, it's like water survival lessons, honestly. Yeah. He's not really learning. I have mixed feelings on it, okay.

Because I was back and forth on ISR for so long, but we have a pool in our backyard, and we're around pools all the time, being in Arizona, so I'm like, okay, you know, this feels necessary because you're never prepared for your kid to accidentally fall in the water or jump in when you're not supervising them. That's when the worst happens. Yeah. And so it felt responsible to get him signed up, but now that we're doing it and he hates it, or. I shouldn't say he hates it.

He doesn't love it. It is difficult to watch. But he still loves water, though. And I thought he hated water after starting ISR because he cries the whole entire lesson. He loves it still.

Matthew Smith

But we went to this, like, water park, wasn't it? Was it Jw Marriott that our. My friends Maddie and Trevor, we're staying at? They live in Utah. They're on instagram.

We met up with them at this, like, resort, which I didn't even know that Arizona had all these, like, nice resorts. It was freaking nice. They had all these fun slides. We went down the slide together. That was a really crazy slide.

It was like a half pipe, but it's, like, 100ft tall. I can't. Again, we went flying, and I. And I grabbed the sides of the slide, catapulted us down the slide, and we went so fast, their five year. Old daughter went on that.

Abby Smith

She's brave. Are you kidding me? She's brave? That seems sketch. I mean, that is, like, okay.

Matthew Smith

I mean, that's awesome. I love that. But for me, even as an adult, I was like, frick, am I doing this? Like, I. She's actually four.

Abby Smith

Wow. Anyway, it was so cool. And Griffin got in the water, and he loves it. He did the laser river with you? Yeah.

So it hasn't traumatized him. So if you're worried about putting your kids in ISR and they might hate water, our kid still loves the water. Which also reminds me, it's all the more reason that he should be in these lessons, even though it's tough and it's sad to see your kid, like, I don't know, be, like, mom, like, reaching for you and want you to get in, but it's good and it's important. So maybe it's, like, infant survival reenactment or something. Like, maybe it's, like, teaching.

Matthew Smith

Maybe it stands for some sort of, like, survival thing, because it truly is like, okay, Griffin, go into the water. Now. Grab the ladder to get out of the water. So he's, like, learning how to get to the edge of the pool, but they haven't been really working on swimming yet. He doesn't really know how to swim, but.

Abby Smith

Well, they will teach. So, like, I think the first step is, like, with babies, they just teach them to float. Yeah. With Griffin's age, I think they teach them to float and get to an edge. And then with slightly older, they teach them to float, get to an edge, and climb out of the water.

Matthew Smith

And Grif can hold his breath for a while. Like, sometimes he holds his breath for legit, like, 6 seconds. I'm like, holy crap. Of course he has to. Like, what else is he gonna do?

I know, but it kind of scares me. Like, I was telling you this when Griff and I were in the water, and he was pointing, there was a person swimming laps at our neighborhood pool. And so he pointed them, and he was. He was like, swim. Or he said something like that.

I'm like, oh, yeah, griff. Like, look. And so then I, like, literally, I'm right next to him, right? He's on the edge of the pool. He was jumping in, and I was catching him.

But he like wanted to see me do that. So I was like, okay. And so my eyes were on him the whole entire time. I go back to like do backstroke. Still keep my eyes eyes on him.

The second that I go into backstroke, he just decides to send it and jump into the water. And I panicked. Like, my heart about jumped out of my body. I like dashed over. He was probably under the water for maybe 4 seconds.

Abby Smith

Oh, gosh. But he can. He knows how to hold his breath, though. He crying? No, he was laughing when I got him out because he wanted me to come get him.

Matthew Smith

But it just. It was scary because usually when he jumps in, I have my hands like on his body these the whole entire time. But it freaked me out that he just. He had the confidence to just jump in with me. Like, I don't know, I was probably 4ft away from him.

So freaked me out. I hated that. I hated it. But that's exactly why he is in the swim lessons. Because we have to be careful.

We have to really teach this kid to swim because he's fearless and he has no idea the dangers that exist in this world. The dangers that exist in this world. Seriously? Seriously. That's why I really like with our conversation with doctor.

Amen. Last week. I love that he was saying, you know, your kid forgets their homework at school. Don't bring it to him. You know?

Abby Smith

Oh, he says that? Yeah. Maybe they're in high school and they're gonna. I don't agree with that. I 1000% agree.

Matthew Smith

Abby. Matt. Okay, honey. Here's why I do. You know how success.

Okay. No, no. Let me tell you why. You talk and then I'll talk. You sound like Ruby.

Abby Smith

Frankie. Who? Your kid forgets their lunch. You don't bring their lunch to school. That one is different.

Why? Because I think, like, food is like an essential. Need your homework, Matt. How many? Okay.

I could actually not disagree more. Okay. I firmly disagree on this. I'll be bringing Griffin his homework anytime he needs it. We're not gonna do that.

Matthew Smith

Here's why. We'll get aligned on it. Here's why, Matt, you have the time. How many times have you forgotten things? How many times have you forgotten things?

I wanna let you just talk. No, this is an active conversation. I forget things. And you know what happens when I forget things? I deal with the consequences of them.

Abby Smith

You are able to go get him. He's not able to go get them. He's not able to handle the consequences of his own. He can't drive. So let's talk about school.

Matthew Smith

Okay, so Griffin's a freshman in high school. He's in a math class. He forgot his homework, and now he's gonna. Let's. Let's be.

Let's be dramatic. He's gonna fail the class, and he'll have to retake it or something. Right? Now, I know that sounds dramatic. I know that sounds like why you're a horrible parent for not bringing your kid their math homework or whatever, but if your kid learns self responsibility while they are still in the house, they will not have problems.

Abby Smith

Can I please finish? Can I please finish? They will not have those problems as an adult. And I was just talking to my mom about this last night. I was kind of debriefing with her on the doctor Ehmon conversation, and she was telling me how there is a kid.

Matthew Smith

I'm not gonna say who it was, but there was a kid that was my older brother's class that all growing up, my parents always saw that this kid would just disrespect his parents, get away with everything. They never. They didn't. They didn't really reprimand him, punish him. They always brought his homework to him when he was in school, all that stuff.

Now they have a restraining order on their child because their child did not learn to have self responsibility. Disrespect is very different than innocently forgetting to bring your homework. Disrespect would be handled differently, and there would be consequences for disrespect, okay? A natural consequence for us. If we forget something, it's like, crap, I gotta go grab that.

Abby Smith

And then you're out of. You're put out of your way. You have to go. You lose your time. All those things.

Freshmen high school cannot drive themselves to go back home and get their homework. But they also can't. Let me tell you something. They can't just skip class. You can't just skip class.

Exactly. Well, they're gonna deal with consequences. But, like, my parents keep in mind, like, if I forgot something, they would get it for me. I learned self responsibility. My parents did that for me, too, Abby.

Matthew Smith

But I also learned I was. Did you learn self responsibility? I was very stubborn, and I knew that if I pushed enough, I could get my way with my mom. And honestly, like, I would have been looking back, I would have been okay more with my mom, maybe even being a little bit more strict with me in those situations. This episode of the Unplanned podcast is brought to you by Kleenex ultra soft tissues, your ally to help tackle your allergy symptoms this season.

We would be screwed if it wasn't for Kleenex. Can we just be honest? Oh, my gosh. There's so much snot in this house. So much.

Everyone gets sick at least once a month, and it's literally the whole house. Our kids have constant runny noses. Explain this. Why do they hate getting their nose wiped so much? I don't know.

Abby Smith

It can't hurt them. Griffin's gotten a little bit better, so he sometimes is okay with me wiping his nose, but it's like a 50 50 chance. Sometimes I just hand him a Kleenex and I'm like, you wanna do it yourself? He learned to blow his nose. Yeah, he can kinda do it himself.

That's the only way. Kleenex is a brand I can feel good about our kids using because they are so soft. It's not like you're gonna be irritating their very tender, sensitive skin with them. I feel bad, like, if we run out of kleenexes, then I'd go to use a paper towel, and that's just, like, not comfortable on your nose. Their ultra soft tissues are hypoallergenic and allergist approved as well.

Matthew Smith

I didn't even know that. Very cool. Great for your little ones. Little leaky nostrils. And for myself, honestly, I was blowing my nose constantly recently, and I was like, man, I'm really glad I have these because I used to get rashes.

You got sick last week. We're always sick in this house. I know it's just that season of life. But we're really thankful to kleenex for saving our noses and for this allergy season. Grab kleenex and face allergies.

Abby Smith

Head on back to the episode. Forgetting something is innocent. You can't help that. That's something out of your control. I forget things.

I'm like, crap. And then I learn. I'm like, okay, next time. I can not get in this situation if I do x, y, and z. And so I think it's okay if I run my kid their homework and say, next time, let's make sure your backpack is packed the night before so we don't have to do this.

If it's something that is, like, habitual, it's happening very regularly. That's one thing. But if they forget an important assignment, or, like, they forget their cleats for soccer practice after school, I'm gonna bring it to my kid. I mean, we can align on it, but I would say that it would be my opinion that we bring it to them because everyone can forget something innocently. Everyone can.

We adults do it all the time. I 100% agree with you. I just think that if you're gonna be a pushover as a parent, your child. Your child will learn to just. They'll just know that anytime they forget something, anytime they mess up, they can rely on mommy and daddy to come and solve their problems.

Matthew Smith

But we need our kids to learn self responsibility. We need them to develop the self esteem by tackling hard things in their life and solving them themselves. That way, they build up that confidence. I get so confident when I'm able to solve problems in my life. When I see a problem and I'm able to take care of it myself, I feel powerful.

I feel empowered. I hate this victim mentality that we have in our culture today, where people are like, oh, me, I can't do anything that does nothing for you. That literally does absolutely nothing for you. And you'll just stay in a crappy place. You'll stay in those negative thoughts, and nothing will ever change.

But until you take self responsibility and empower yourself to actually, like, seek change and do something to change your life circumstances, nothing's gonna happen. And so I want our kids to, like, learn that from a young age, and I think they're gonna be happier and more fulfilled because of that. I want my kids to learn those things, too. Now, I would say I don't think. That that is taught through not helping them out when they are in a situation where they can't help themselves.

Now, I will say, if they're in. A situation where they can help themselves, that's their job to do those things. I fully believe that. But, like, do you think I'm a person that has take self responsibility? Yeah, I do.

Abby Smith

My parents would always bring me something if I needed it, and I developed trust with my parents through that. But I will say this, and look, we both have really amazing parents. I want to preface that like, we are so blessed to have the parents that we have. I love my parents so much. They're literally my best friends.

Matthew Smith

But something that your parents, that's something that your parents did that my parents didn't. And again, I have amazing parents. I love them. They did an incredible job. And also, when you're a parent, you're just figuring it out.

It's not like I came with an instruction manual. Right? I was a hard kid to parent at times. Okay, like, I'm not saying my parents job was easy at all, but what? I love that your parents.

Abby Smith

You're hard kid to parent right now. Okay. Just kidding. Okay. What are you saying?

Matthew Smith

What I love that your parents did, though, is they stayed out of your business a lot more than mine did. And I noticed that, like, when I went to college, I felt this freedom. Like, it was incredible. I felt like all my decisions that I made were completely my own, and I got to reap the consequences for all those decisions, positive or negative. And for you, you didn't feel that as much because your parents weren't in your business as much as mine were.

Abby Smith

I told my mom literally everything growing. Up, though, so maybe that's why we have different opinions on this, is because I had parents that were a little bit more in my business. And so it's almost like. Like Doctor Amen said. He said that he was stealing his child's self esteem by solving his child's problems.

Matthew Smith

And to be honest, again, my parents are amazing. I love them. We have an amazing relationship. I think there were times that I felt that way, and so I got to fully have my own self esteem in college because I knew that everything that I did was because I did it. It wasn't because my mom did it for me.

It wasn't because my mom, she didn't, like, plan out how I was going to solve these problems in my life. I just did it by myself. And that was incredibly empowering. Sorry, I'll shut up. I was always fully responsible for knowing my own assignments, getting them done on time, getting them to school for my own.

Abby Smith

I had so many extra. I was honestly insanely busy in middle school and high school because I just wanted to be involved in everything. I was in charge of my own schedule, knowing when I had to be at rehearsals, if times had changed. I was in charge of all of that. And I also was in charge of, as soon as I had my license, getting myself there.

The day that I got my license, I had to drive myself to three different rehearsals, and my parents were out of town with my brother. I was in charge of all that. Yet I knew that if it came down to something that I couldn't handle myself, that my parents were in my corner and were going to be there to help and support me. Because you're not fully independent until you're outside the house, until you're 18. This is your learning zone.

This is your time to make mistakes, and this is your time to try out independence and in a safe place with your parents there. What are your. And so keep in mind, I told my. You're, like, saying, I didn't want my parents to help me. My parents did not force me to tell them anything, but I went to my parents and told them literally everything.

Like, anything that was going on with my friends, going on with boys. Like, my mom knew everything, pretty much everything. And she never asked. I don't remember her asking. We just had this trust and this bond.

She felt like a friend, but not in an inappropriate way. Like, it was like I knew. She's like, that's why she's not my best friend now. Like, she knew the boundaries of a parent, but also, like, and here's the thing I'm still trying to unpack as a parent and adult now. Like, what they did to create that relationship.

Matthew Smith

Something else doctor Ammon said that suck out to me was, never tell your child that they're smart. And at first, I was like, that's. That seems way too far. You screwed that up. I told Griffin was a genius this morning.

I do too. I literally tell him he's smart every day because I love telling him smart, but I need to stop doing that. And I think the reason why is my parents did the same thing for me and completely out of love because they loved me so much. But for me, they'd be like, Matt, you are so confident. You don't have anxiety.

You don't have all these things. And so I was told. I was told that I didn't have anxiety. I was told that I was confident. I was told all that.

But the reality is I wasn't. Like, I had so much anxiety in high school. I had so much fear. I love to push myself and to better myself and to make myself uncomfortable. So, yes, I would still, like, get up on stage and perform and do all these things.

But holy crap, man, I had so much anxiety, and I just didn't talk about it to anybody because I had in my head that I wasn't anxious yet. I literally experienced that every freaking day. And it was out of your control. If I wouldn't have been told that, maybe that would have helped. Now I don't want to just.

These issues are so complex, right. It doesn't just deal with my. You would have had it anyway. Yeah, I feel like I would have. I feel like my pride would have kept me from talking about my anxiety.

And it's still uncomfortable for me to admit that I have social anxiety. It's freaking weird. I cannot explain it. I cannot explain why I get so anxious sometimes in social settings. And it's.

And I still. So many people experience that. Yeah. I don't know. What's also funny is that you talking about your parents with words of affirmation.

Abby Smith

Like, it's weird because our parents, I wouldn't say were that different, but they're both amazing parents. So different, though. But they are pretty different, too, because my parents were not very affirmative people. Yeah. Like, but I knew they were proud of me.

I knew they loved me. I knew that they thought that I was smart, and I knew that they thought that I was. Would it would excel at anything I did. Yeah. And we both didn't tell me that ever, like, explicitly, like, very few times.

And the times that they did really stood out in my mind. And I don't think I was craving it, though, is the thing. Like, I wasn't craving because I knew that they were proud of me. They showed me constantly. And that's something I think about a lot.

Matthew Smith

Yeah. I think your parents were very good at making you know that you were loved, making you know that they were proud of you. And they didn't necessarily say it. Maybe they could have said it more. Like, in fact, they actually do.

You wish they would have said it more. They knocked me down a lot. But, like, in a fun way. Your family's very sarcastic, and I had no idea what sarcasm was before meeting your family. I thought your mom didn't like me.

Like, I thought I was like, man, why is she saying these things? But I didn't. I literally did not have a concept of sarcasm because my family, I mean, you know, my family, we are not sarcastic at all. And that's not a bad thing. Not a bad thing.

Abby Smith

But it was so. It's so funny. Just coming from my family, that's extremely sarcastic. We, like, bully each other out of love. I love it.

Matthew Smith

I think it's so funny. Good. Okay. But I think. And it makes you, like, not take life so seriously.

I think I lost friendships in high school because there were kids. Because there were kids that were sarcastic with me. And I took it so personally. Like, they were, like, teasing me, and I was, like, being. They're bullying.

Abby Smith

Which were they coming from? A kind place or a mean place? And that's hard to say. Like, sometimes sarcasm can go a little too far. And I think it was more on that end where I wasn't able to just, like, have the humility to, like, joke about it or dish it back.

Maybe you needed to dish it or maybe needed. But I, like, took it super personally because I just. To me, everything was black and white, and I did not understand the sarcasm piece literally at all. So I remember in high school when you'd come over and be with my family, and I would get nervous. I was like, please, like, I hope they're not sarcastic right now, because I knew that you weren't like.

And I didn't think of it as a bad thing. I actually thought it was really sweet that you weren't sarcastic, and that's what I, like, loved. Your dad's actually really funny, and I had no idea. I thought he was just incredibly quiet. Cause he was.

Matthew Smith

He didn't really talk to me. He didn't really talk around me, and I was very talkative. But your dad is just kind of a quiet guy until you get to know him. And now he's very vocal now. Now we talk so much more.

Abby Smith

He's still a quiet guy, though. And I think that ultimately is why living with, like, having your parents live with us works so well. Because your parents stay out of our business, we stay out of their business. Like, it's not like we're telling each other what to do. We kind of just stay.

But we also interact all the time. Yeah. So it just, like, it really works. I literally talked to my mom for, like, 2 hours straight yesterday. I want to say, though, something that really empowered me, and again, I want to emphasize, like, my parents are so, so good.

Matthew Smith

They, um. My mom and dad both empowered my brothers and I to start our own business in high school. And so we had a lawn mowing business where we would mow neighbors lawns. We put out flyers. We did odd jobs.

We did some minor landscaping work for. For people. We had all these client, all these clients. Like, we were managing clients while we were freshmen in high school and, you know, getting work done on the weekends. And that was so good for me to learn how to be a hard worker, to manage a book of business, to make money.

And it was. It was really fun. Like, I felt so empowered by that, which I think we kind of talked about this a little bit of ago about our kids working in high school, and you've been pretty opposed to our kids working, and I'd love to open up the floor to talk about that. Mowing lawns, like, you're not. If push comes to shove and you want to go play a baseball game, you don't have to mow that lawn at that time.

Abby Smith

You're not scheduled. You're not on a. Like, that's not a problem. I'm thinking, like, a regular job. It's like, this is your one time in your life where you can just try everything, find what you're passionate about that's the work of a child, really, is to just find your passion, and obviously, you're not gonna find it all.

Like, by the time you're 18, and there'll be time to discover that as an adult. But, like, it is the perfect setting to just see what sticks, see what you like, see where you're naturally gifted, like, all these things. And I think that, like, working a minimum wage job doesn't allow for that. What if it's owning your own business? I didn't work a minimum wage job.

That's what I just said. That's. Until I was in college. I actually just did my own business in high school, and that taught me a lot. So what do you think about our kids owning their own business in high school?

If that's the direction that they're moving and wanting to do? Yes, I could. I would help them foster that and grow that and encourage that, even. But if they're not seeming like that and they seem like, okay, they really love soccer, and they really. Or.

I don't know. Like, I. I just don't think that that should be mandatory in childhood. Do you think it was bad that doctor. Amen.

Matthew Smith

Worked at a grocery store when he was a child growing up because his family owned a grocery store? Like, he would stock the shelves, and. I don't want to speak on other people's personal lives. Like, if he. I think that that would be a person to person basis.

Abby Smith

Family basis. I'd love to ask him how he felt about that. I'm sure it was great. Like, I. I think there are situations where parents, like, their kid might be working too much.

Well, there's situations to where, like, the family business, the kids are kind of forced. They kind of need to. Yeah. And money's tight. Yeah.

And I just. I mean, honestly, that was even. I mean, that was me for a little bit. Like, money was tight. Like, I loaned money to my parents for a little bit at one point, so, like, no, and I'm glad.

Matthew Smith

I'm happy to. Like, I wanted to like it. I love my. I love my parents, but. Yeah.

Like, and I don't think nobody ever expected for that to happen, but even in my family, like, I. And they paid it back. Like, they paid me back, but I ended up having to do that because life is hard. Like, it's. It's not.

It's not easy. And, you know, as a parent, you love your kids so much, but then you can't foresee job issues and downturns in the economy, and I don't know. I think you're taking it to an extreme that kind of trumps my argument. Oh, really? Yeah.

Abby Smith

And if it's a matter of eating or not eating, yes. I would say that the kids should work, but I think that the parents should do everything they can, make sacrifice they can. Like to not, like, bar, don't be. Getting your nails done. Don't be like, I don't know.

There's so many things that leads, like, was that a need, or was that what? Like, do you need that house? Do you need that car? Do you need that wardrobe? If it's between that and your kids working, you know?

Matthew Smith

Yeah. Our kids not working a job. I don't know. I feel like we're getting into a territory that I don't really want to enter into because. Yeah, I just.

Abby Smith

I just thinking from where we're at in our life, we don't need that to put food on the table. Yeah. So that's kind of. You're kind of going to an extreme that kind of trumps anything I say. True.

Matthew Smith

But I also think even. Okay. Even in the situation of parents being. Well off their children, teach your kids work ethic. That's not them being an employee starting their own business of mowing lawns or something is totally different.

Okay. Okay. There we go. Because I actually would prefer for my children, rather than, like, working as an employee at another business, I prefer for them to start their own, because then they have to work every single job. You have to wear every hat when you own the business, and it's a small business and you're the only one doing it, that's your job.

And I think that. I think that inherently different than what I was saying, though. Thank you to skylight calendar for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Matt, I am proud of you. And do you know why?

Why are you proud of me? The past, I would say, six months, you have fully embraced how important it is to have a shared family calendar. It can be really hard to manage a household with two kids. Our parents also live with us. We also work together.

Abby Smith

There's just so much going on, and the only way to keep it all organized is through a shared family calendar. And the Skylight calendar is a smart touchdown screen calendar and organizer for all your chores, groceries, to do, lists, and a great way to manage appointments so you can make sure they never overlap and they're never missed. It helps keep busy households on track and everyone on the same page so families can get time back for moments. That matter, and you can schedule your fun stuff. I actually do an unscheduled now, so I will schedule in fun activities for myself to do.

Wow. Yeah. Look at you. Yeah. We love the skylight frames.

We have those, and we actually gave one to Matt grandma so she can contact pictures of the kids. She loves her skylight frame. Similar to the skylight frames, the skylight calendar is very easy to set up. It syncs events from existing family calendars such as Google, which is what we use, so it can sync automatically to your skylight calendar. They also have Apple and outlook, and you can also add events directly using the touchscreen or with the free Skylight mobile app.

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Matthew Smith

Even then, though, like, if our kid worked 8 hours a week, like, they just worked on a Saturday, they would still have all day Sunday and all the time after school for extracurriculars. Hanging with friends. Yeah. Like, if a 16 year old, that's. That's also different.

Abby Smith

Yes. I don't see our kids working when they're fifth. Actually, I was. I was mowing lawns when I was 15. Okay.

Matthew Smith

But like 16. Yeah. I was babysitting when I was 15 and stuff. I was working. I think I worked as a kid, too.

Abby Smith

I'm just saying, to force your kid, say, like, you need to have a job because you have to learn work ethic this way. And maybe there's an extenuating circumstance where, like, the kid is very disobedient and they need that structure, then that would be a different circumstance also. I'm just saying in general, I don't think that I would want my kid, to work a job in high school. Okay, I would almost be on the team of you have to do, you know, minimum like 6 hours of work a week. But you get to choose what it is so you can start your own business.

Matthew Smith

You could go work at McDonald's, you could work at the movie theater. Kids work so much, Matt, you do not remember the workload of homework, your extracurriculars that you could be involved in. Like, they need to have some time. And it does just like anybody. And obviously it's gonna be situational, right?

Like when my bro, my brother model, like I did too, but when he was in the peak of football season or baseball season, he would slow down on the work. But then in the summertime when he had a lot more free time, then, you know, both, both him and I probably worked ten to 20 hours a week in the summer, especially when it got to be peak long. I worked full time in the summer, but it was my choice. Well, that was once you were in college, you weren't working full time when you were in high school, did you? Well, the summer right after high school.

Abby Smith

Yeah, actually no, the summer right after junior year I did too. You were a full. You watch kids? I nannied full time. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.

Like I said when I did that and I think my kids should have the opportunity to. It just has to be child driven. Child led like 1000%. Okay, you just said, I want to have the rule of mandatory 6 hours a week of work, okay? And then I'm like, okay, now you're just doing the same thing that you were saying you didn't want to do, which is micromanager kids.

Matthew Smith

That's completely different. You see how. Do you see how it's different though? Cuz they choose what that is. That can be anything that they want, okay?

They could babysit, they can mow lawns, they could go work at McDonald's. Literally whatever they. I think that we're talking about all these external things where as like I'm more so worried about developing and my kid work ethic, I honestly needed the opposite in my life. Like my parents would tell me, like, don't keep doing your homework, go to bed, like don't finish assignment. And I think that like I'm just gonna read my kids be like, okay, are they struggling like a little bit with laziness or like things like that?

Abby Smith

Engage it. And I think that's also why my parents probably sometimes would bring me my stuff and not my brother, his stuff because they knew that that was probably because he was choosing to not be proactive, whereas mine was an honest mistake. And I think that this whole conversation has to be understand. Like, we have to view parenting through the lens of each individual child. I agree.

Matthew Smith

Maybe the rule, right? Like, I want our kids to make the decisions for themselves on what they want to do. We have to have hard and fast rules as parents. But at the same time, I want them to, like, be steering the ship. I want them to decide if they want to play football or do ballet, whatever the heck they want to do.

I want them to do that and love it, because that's, like, more important than anything. But I think when it comes to the mandatory things, I think maybe we make the house rules very minor. Maybe the rule is we expect that you work for. It could even be 2 hours a week. But just, I think making that an expectation.

They're like, ah, it's important for me to do some sort of work so I can understand how money works. I can understand business, and they could do the bare minimum, or if they love it and they love owning their own business, maybe that becomes their thing. Like, I don't know. I just. I want them to be the one to make those decisions.

And I think we just need to, like you said, base everything we do off of each kid, because every kid is so unique and different, and we. It's not a one size fits all. When you're parenting one kid versus another. Say your kid is going to school all day, every day. They have extracurriculars.

Abby Smith

They want to hang out with friends. It's like that short little time that we do have with them. I want to be as a family. Like, I don't want them to be off at work, like, and so there's just watch me cry right now, because thinking about my kids bleeding for college. Kids are babies, but it's like, their childhood is so short.

That's something to be preserved. And you're a family unit, living together for such a short amount of time, like, just preserve it. I think ultimately, it boils down to, we totally agree. We're totally aligned. We want our kids to be hardworking, passionate about what they do.

We want them to find what they love. We want it to be child led, and we want them to also, like, enjoy their life. Like, I think we agree on all the important things here, and, like, we'll steer the ship as we see fit, as they kind of show us their personalities more and their interest more. I love how, like, an hour ago, I was just walking in the living room, and Griffin just kept going, da da da da da, and I picked him up, and then I did the thing where I, like, pretend to drop him, and then he, like, starts belly laughing because he loves the feeling of us, of us, like, falling together. And I just kept doing that over and over and over, and I just, like, couldn't help but think, like, man, there's nothing better than this, you know?

Matthew Smith

There's, there's nothing better than hearing your kid belly laugh and, and say your name and telling them that you love them. And he can't really say, I love you yet, but I know that he loves me. He can try. Honestly, like, I feel so much more fulfilled in life now that I'm a parent because it's like he's part of my heart, you know? And so is Augie, and I don't, I don't have the connection that I have with Griffin.

Like, Augie and I don't have as deep of a connection yet because he can't use, he can't talk at all. But even just the one word sentences, Griffin can mutter. Like, it's crazy how much we can connect and, like, communicate already, and it's been really. We were hearing your songs and listening to your songs in the car the other day, and Auggie was clapping. Which song were you playing when Auggie started clapping?

Abby Smith

I think I want to say best friends. Best friends. I think it was a couple songs, but I was like, wait, that's definitely Auggie and not Griffin. I love that. It was sweet.

Matthew Smith

I love that. Like, even when I just start, I'll start singing, and they'll start dancing. They'll start clapping, and it's like, it's like music is a part of them, just like it is a part of me. Yeah. Sweet.

And when I get my guitar out to play, every once in a while, Griffin will just come over and want to strum the guitar, and he'll start dancing. And I need to play guitar for Griffin. I play for Griffin a lot. When you're a baby, I need to. Play a lot more guitar.

I've been, like, taking a break from guitar to, like, really focus on, you know, ideas for songs and things like that. But I really miss just, I used to play guitar, like, an hour every day, and I would just sing and work on writing songs and work on learning new songs, and I did that all when we were, like, dating, but I need to get back into that because I would really like to. Oh, there's this thing, actually, I just met with a lady who listens to our podcast, who works for publishing company. It's called, like, aScap. They basically help songwriters and artists, like, get the royalties from their songs when their songs get played on the radio and stuff.

And so we had a meeting, and she was telling me about this thing called a writers round in Nashville. It's called a round, so people will go out and listen to a songwriter placement of their newest material, and you can go and hear all these up and coming songwriters and network, and I thought that'd be really cool to perform live because I have not performed live in a while. It kind of freaks me out because I'm so. It's so comfortable now just to sit in front of a camera and, like, be the only one in the room and just, like, sing or perform or whatever. But to, like, do some sort of performance live scares the crap out of me.

Abby Smith

Yeah. Something that's cool about you is that you love to do things that scare you. And I think that's crazy, but it's cool. Yeah, I. When we went to watch Nate Bargazzi live at the footprint center to do his Netflix comedy special, I was just like, this is so crazy.

Matthew Smith

16,000 people are here to watch Nate. Like, I was like, that must be the coolest feeling that he worked so hard, because he. All of his friends who are comics were saying how hard he works. They're like, we don't know anybody who works harder than Nate at comedy. And it makes sense.

Like, he's worked so hard at the comedy, and look at him. I mean, he's doing Netflix shows, and we were just there at the footprint center with, you know, over 16,000 people watching him. It was. I think stand up would have to be one of the hardest things. So hard.

I would be crappy my pants. You'd be better at it than I would. No, I'd be terrible. You're so much funnier than me. I would be terrible at that.

Abby Smith

And thank you, but, no, I would not know. You're hilarious, though. Like, you're really witty, Abby. Also, I feel like it's hard. That would be a unique space or be even, like, especially hard to be able to.

A female doing it. I just feel like there's this stereotype that, like, women aren't funny. Heck, no. No. Women are so funny.

Matthew Smith

Oh, there's so many women. Ask women that do stand up. I bet they would say, like, oh, yeah, it's been way harder to be a female doing this. It is interesting. Like, I've realized comedians who do stand up.

It's a completely different art than being funny in conversation. Like, we had Trey Kennedy on our podcast and he's a funny guy, but, like, I wasn't laughing. Like, we were just having, like, a good, chill conversation. We definitely laughed in the conversation with. Trey Kennedy because they write out their.

Jokes, but then, like, seeing Trey Kennedy live, hilarious. He was so funny. I was dying laughing. And it's almost cuz, yeah, you train that. You write.

You write the script. I mean, I've never done comedy just. Writing good jokes because I feel like a lot of these comedians also have writers. It's the delivery, like, it's the timing. It's everything.

Yeah. They're just very talented people. That would be something I would be awful at. I don't know. I think you'd be a lot more successful at all that than I would.

Abby Smith

Oh, no, I'd be bad at it. You're funny. Thanks, babe. And you're like, I don't know, you just kind of command a pre. Like, you're good at, like a commander.

Matthew Smith

You're not a commander. No, you're not a commander. But, like, if you're in a room full of people, like, sometimes I'll be over here getting social anxiety, and you're just out. You're just chatting it up, being everybody's friend. Yeah, you're.

You're really good at that. That's really nice. And you're really funny. That's really nice of you. Thanks.

Can we talk about our anniversary? Our five year wedding anniversary is coming up in about two months. That's crazy. How does that feel? It feels really cool.

Abby Smith

Like, I'm so proud of that. I can't believe we've been together that long. That's. I love telling time that. Which is funny, cuz, like, when we first got married, we got married young, so it was kind of embarrassing to use the word husband at times.

Not embarrassing, but I was, like, hesitant. I was like, yeah, I have to, like, get into an explanation. Like, oh, we've been together for a while, though, and, like, we really know, like, we're ready to make this decision, like, all this stuff, but now it's something I'm, like, so proud of. I'm like, yeah, we made it. We did it.

Matthew Smith

And now all of our friends that were single me got married, are, like, married and having kids. Now we've entered this new season of life. I've definitely felt this shift, and I really do feel for the first time, I feel like a dad. I feel like the title husband father. Those resonate with me so much.

When I first got married, the thought of husband and wife, that seemed, like, so mature. Yeah, I can relate to that, too. Because when I first, like, people say mama, even right after I had Griffin, I was like, Mama, like, yeah, like, that doesn't feel like me. Like, that. That didn't feel, like, accurate way to describe me.

Abby Smith

But now I'm like, yes, I'm a mom. That felt really weird. Especially. The nurses were the first people to call you mom in the hospital, and that felt so odd. Yeah.

Matthew Smith

But I've embraced it now. And I love this new. I love the new Us badge of honor. We've changed a freaking ton. Yes.

I had so, so much fun going back and re editing our wedding video. I don't know if you guys knew this, but basically, when Abby and I got married, didn't have a lot of money. We spent $600 on a camera and asked my cousin to record our wedding because we didn't want to spend a ton of money on a wedding videographer. And then we ended up using that camera to start vlogging on YouTube. Yeah.

So I have all this footage. Yeah, it was. It was kind of my passion project, but, yeah. So the wedding, you guys, I went back and watched through all this old footage, and it is crazy seeing how much we've changed. Our cousins, especially, like, our younger cousins, when you're like a four year old and then you.

And five years later, you look completely different. Like all of our cousins in the wedding video. So vastly different. And it just made me realize how much time has passed. You look.

You look different. I look different. I look almost like a kid in that wedding video. You look so cute in the more. Different me, or probably me because I had two babies.

I don't know. I feel I look pretty different right now because I have. I, like, shave my head. I like. I feel like my face look younger.

It looks younger in the wedding video, I think. But, yeah, I completely remade it. I thought it'd be really fun because our five year anniversary is coming right up. So I showed Abby the video. So what were your thoughts on seeing the recreated wedding video?

Abby Smith

I'm gonna cry.

I think the thing that I was most taken aback by is the fact that there's people in the video that we don't have. People.

Why am I like this? I was tearing up editing it and I don't get very emotional. I don't know why. I just don't get emotional at all. It's extremely rare for me, but I just couldn't help but think about those memories as a time capsule.

Matthew Smith

And so something that Abby did at her wedding is because she's so close with her dad and both of her grandpas, who have now both passed on. She danced with all three of them at the wedding, and it was so sweet. What was the song you danced to. By the way you look tonight? Louis Armstrong.

Abby Smith

No, by Frank Sinatra. Frank Sinatra. Okay. Yeah. Thank you to armor colostrum for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

Matthew Smith

And we are going to test this right here, right now, on the podcast. The reason I was interested in giving armor colostrum a try is because there are so many benefits to this product that I am just, like, needing in my own life. Well, it's. It's good for your immune system, which we could use that. I mean, we keep getting sick, like, every month in our household.

Abby Smith

There's so many benefits. Also, I'm on my fitness journey post baby. These support your fitness and metabolism, helps with muscle recovery. So we're gonna try it. I have blood orange masks, unflavored.

Matthew Smith

So I wonder what the unflavored is gonna taste like. Will it just be water? Okay, let's mix it with water. But you can mix it with other stuff, too. Mine literally just tastes like water.

Abby Smith

Wait, this would actually be pretty delicious to try it. Wait. To have every morning. Can I try a sip of your blood orange flavor? And you can try some of my unflavored.

Okay, wait. Blood orange is actually really good. I feel like that'd be really refreshing to wake up and try in the mornings. I'll be honest. With all the health benefits, I thought it was gonna taste horrible.

Matthew Smith

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Abby Smith

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Matthew Smith

Back to the episode. I only have one grandparent around still my grandma, and she's in the wedding video, like, she's doing, like, this, like, disco finger. And, like, I love, I love that memory being a part of the wedding video, too. Yeah. First of all, I'm really glad I didn't wear makeup because before I was like, matt, can we wait to record?

Abby Smith

I was also like, I don't feel good enough to want to do my makeup. I literally came straight from the gym to record this. That's why I look, like, not put together. But you look great. Yeah, I think that was the thing that stood out to me the most.

Obviously, like, the point of video was, like, for us and, like, experiencing our wedding, but I think it was so unexpected to see them. That's also just shows how much time has passed. Like, and also just, like, cool that we've been together through that. We've been together through, like, loss, but then also through, like, we have new family members now. Like, yeah, it's just crazy how much five years has changed us.

Matthew Smith

By the way, if, like, you want to get married and it's be. And you're like, well, we can't because we don't have enough money. I would just like, if that's. If that's what you want to do, I don't think you should, like, finance. You shouldn't let finances hold you back.

Everybody's there for you, and they're just there to celebrate you, and it's the most amazing thing. And it's not about how nice your venue is or. Yeah, how beautiful your dress is or the ring or the flowers. Your dress is $300, right? Yeah.

Abby Smith

My dress was, like, $300, wasn't it? The first dress you tried on, $300. Including the alterations, because I think the dress itself was 200. Holy crap. In the basement of this bridal shop, because I don't know why they weren't selling it anymore.

So they had, like, clearance dresses down there, and I loved it. Did you walk down and it was just like, this musty basement? You're like, that's the dress I want. No, I didn't think that at all. I was like, I'll just try some of these on because I had an open mind, because even then I was like, I am not particular.

I just want to get married. Like, obviously, I wouldn't feel beautiful the day of, but I was, like, so little. That has to do with the dress you're wearing, and it has to do with, like, from within. So anyway, not to get serious, did you. Wait, did you pick that dress just because of budget, or did the dress stick out to you?

Matthew Smith

You're like, I don't even know what that dress cost, but I want it. No, it was budget. Oh, purely budget, mainly. I mean, I also, like, I feel really grateful, but our parents pay for money, and then I didn't want them to spin a lot, but then when I put it on, I was like, wait. I actually feel so beautiful in this dress.

Abby Smith

And something about it just felt like my dress. And, yeah, it was a really, really pretty dress. It's so funny because I feel like it was pretty unique. I don't see many people having, like, a big ball gown anymore. Yeah.

And you know what? That's probably why it was in the basement of that bridal shop, because it wasn't, like, a popular pick. But honestly, I love it. I love that that was my wedding dress. I wouldn't switch it.

Matthew Smith

Looking at it now, do you feel like it looks dated? Cause I feel like women's fashion changes so much quicker than men's fashion, probably. I mean, I don't know. I don't really look at it that way. I feel like the dress was still pretty timeless.

Abby Smith

Like, it was classic. I still wear my suit from the wedding all the time. I probably wear that suit twice a year whenever there's a formal occasion. Do. I just wore it to your grandpa's funeral?

Matthew Smith

I had it for that. Oh, my gosh. I realized I was. I wore it for a wedding this past year. I probably wore it for, like, two.

I wear that to, like, everything. Wow. I didn't even. That navy. I mean, just.

Abby Smith

Are you gonna wear that to the wedding we have coming up? Honestly? Yeah. I mean, why not? It's.

Matthew Smith

Men's fashion is so much simpler than women's fashion. And you don't have to switch up your wardrobe as much. Now. My dad needs to get some new suits. He has some suits from, like, the nineties.

I'm like, what is that? But any ha. And he has the navy suit that I. He got the navy suit for the wedding. So I'm like, just wear that one, dad.

Abby Smith

That's funny. Yeah. Yeah. I get it, though. I'm not.

Matthew Smith

I'm not a fashion person. You. But luckily, having you, you definitely buy me clothes from time to time, and. Then that whole outfit, we just. Yeah, you literally just bought this for me for the whole navy.

Abby Smith

That's also why I'm like, I want to get ready, cuz you look so good. Thank you so much. I usually don't. I don't dress up like this. I'm usually just in, like, short.

I didn't because I just ended up crying, so I would have just messed it up. Anyway. You look so good when you wear workout clothes. Like, I just really. I could just look at you and work out close.

Matthew Smith

That's what. That's literally what I just said. I think you look so good and all of that. Thank you. I just think you have a really good.

You have a really good body. Thank you. Let's talk about that, actually, because you. You have gotten so many comments about, like, Abby, how do you look so good? Abby, how the heck are you?

You know, a mom to two kids, and you look like that. Abby, what is your secret? That's so nice. I'd say a lot of the things. First of all, like, I still have extra skin.

Abby Smith

Like, I still have belly fat. I still have. Are you comfortable showing people what your belly looks like? Yeah. That belly birthed two babies and.

Matthew Smith

And went through hernia surgery. It's gonna be stretched out. Wait, you should, like. You should, like, stand up so people can see, like, in the close up shot, your. Your belly, because you got all that.

You have that, like, extra skin because your belly gets stretched so much from having babies. And even though. Even though you were, like, so fit, I remember you. You would show me women, and now I have that. That's crazy.

That is actually so crazy. But you. I remember, like, a couple years ago, you're like, Matt, just, you know, we have babies. This will happen. I was like, whoa.

And these are, like, women with, like, eight packs. It actually made me really. I should share that more because even, like, seeing other women have bellies, like, that makes me feel good. Like, tammy himbro, she's like, an athlete. Yeah.

Abby Smith

And I remember her doing a video of, like, her showing her belly skin. It sounds grosser than it is, but just, like, your skin gets stretched out when you have a baby, and so, like, it's gonna. You're gonna have excess when it shrinks back down. Yeah. And, yeah, so it doesn't, like, look like it used to, but I'm still very proud of, like, the fitness level that I'm at post babies.

But also, I just know that, like, there's so many factors that have, like, helped me get to this point that, like, not everyone has. Like, I'm able to have a gym membership. I'm able to be a part of a gym that has childcare for a young age, which is very hard to find. Like, if I can't go to that gym, then I can go to another gym and we could have childcare, or you can watch the kids or things like that. Like, there's.

I just have more flexibility with my time than some moms do. Well, Abby, everyone asks you in the comments of your videos, what's your secret? What's your workout routine? Drop the workout routine. And what I've learned from you is it's just consistency.

Matthew Smith

You are so consistent with your fitness. And that made me make the fitness goal for myself that I'm gonna work out three days a week minimum. And I've been doing that, and I've actually been putting on muscle. So I just. I don't know if you knew this.

I just hit 200 pounds again, which is. That's like a. That's a good thing for me. I wanted to be 200 pounds. I know you're trying to gain.

I'm putting on muscle again, and it feels. Feels good. Like, I feel. I feel strong. I feel powerful.

I don't have some fancy, crazy workout regimen. I don't. I mean, I do have a fitness coach who. It's my. That sounds pretty fancy.

It's my friend Case, from growing up, my best friend growing up, Cameron, his younger brother. Case is like, a cool. Is a fitness dude. He does, like, all these workout competitions. He's freaking jacked.

But he's been coaching me. I've been following his program. That's cool. And he's been keeping me accountable for going to the gym. Yeah.

Abby Smith

I want to address those questions. I think I've been hesitant to, because there really is. I don't have, like, a formula. I don't have, like, a product to sell or a program to show you. Like, there's no secret ingredients.

I just fell in love with it, like, and it happened before I had babies, even. But, like, if you can find a way to fall in love with fitness, then that's you. That's all you need. Because. And here's the thing.

I have no other. I have no external goals. I don't want to get down to a certain waist size. I don't want to get down to a certain number on the scale. Like, I just want to feel good physically and mentally, and I want to do something for myself.

So that's why I like to work out. It's that simple. What motivates you to go? I know that I'll feel good afterwards. Okay.

Matthew Smith

Why do you go when you're sick, though? Cause I know that I'll feel good afterwards. And why do you go when you're really tired? Cause I know that I'll feel good afterwards. You're gonna just learn that.

Abby Smith

It's just that simple. Even during it, though, like, it's a release. Like, it's like I get some frustrations out. I can just clear my head. I mean, it's science.

You release endorphins that just make you feel good. And you've been going to burn boot camp and orange theory. What are your thoughts on those two programs? They're different with what they have. No, I just love group fitness, period.

I'm gonna be more motivated if there's other people around and if I don't have to think and they'll just tell me what to do, that's perfect, because that's why I go to workout, because I just want to turn my brain off. And so, yeah, I think both of those are great options for getting your heart rate up and getting some strength in there. It's perfect. The good thing about group fitness, at least from my experience, when we did crossfit while we lived in Hawaii, bit pricier than a regular gym. So my gym membership is literally $9.99 a month.

Matthew Smith

But I actually go because I made a goal for myself, and I have an accountability partner, my fitness coach case. And so that's been helping me stay accountable. But in the past, I would have my $10 month membership and never go. And a lot of these gyms actually thrive on that. They have, they sign up so many people.

That's actually how planet fitness operates. They sign up a ton of people. They have all these, like, perks that you get. Yay. But their goal is just to get as many people to sign up as possible and expect for you not to come.

The benefit of group fitness, though, is, I think even though it is more expensive, you actually get your butt to the gym. So you're like, oh, I'm spending $150 a month on a gym membership. But then you actually go and you're actually getting, like, results and seeing your mental health, your physical health improve. And ultimately, I mean, I think it's going to extend your life. I think you're going to feel better.

And so it's like $150 a month, but I think you end up getting so many more benefits because you actually show up. I think it seems. It sounds dramatic to put it this way, but I really believe this, that, like, you're gonna end up spending more in medical bills, if not in the current and the future, because, like, taking care of your body is going to prevent so many things that can go wrong with your body in the future if it's not already going wrong with heart disease, diabetes, any type of injury, because you're keeping your muscles stretched out and warm and strong. Back injuries, neck injuries, hip injury, all those things. I really think that it's an investment now for your future.

I will say working out in the mornings has been something that has helped me a lot because used to focus, I would get to the end of the day and I'd be like, I don't have enough time to go to the gym again. Like, oh, I've got so much work to do. Okay, don't have time to go to the gym again. But if you just get it done in the morning when you feel like you have this unlimited supply of time, then it actually happens. Yeah, it actually gets done.

Abby Smith

It's hard for you to get away from your kids, too. It sounds crazy, but if you can work out before they wake up, that's also what I started to do. I haven't done it this week because I've been sick, but that's something, too. That can be really good. Like, I would work out, and it was dark outside.

I was like, this sounds crazy. But then I started to fall in love with that, because then I felt like I had accomplished something before my kids even woke up for the day. And keeping your workout short, I found, is very beneficial. I'm the type of person where I like to push myself. I like to make myself uncomfortable.

Matthew Smith

I'm very hard on myself. But the problem with that is it ended up hindering me from going to the gym, because I knew that if I went to the gym, I would do this crazy two hour long workout. I would push myself to the brink of, like, exhaustion, and I dreaded it. And so now what I do is I still push myself. I still go hard, but I keep my workouts around 45 minutes.

And sometimes, even if it's like, if I have, like, literally no time, I'll just do a 30 minutes workout, and that way I'm still showing up, I'm still being physically active. And I actually go because used to, it was like, oh, I'll just go. I was just going, like, literally once a week because I dreaded it that much. And I wasn't making the time for it. Yeah.

Abby Smith

I think you just had to do something you love, too. And that doesn't mean that, like, sometimes I'm like, oh, I do not feel like going, that sounds like a lot of work right now, or that sounds like it's gonna hurt or blah, blah, blah. But then I'm. I never regret a workout. Literally never.

And I think that it's just. It's benefiting me. It's benefiting my family. It's just. It's good.

And no mom should ever feel selfish for taking time for themselves to do an exercise. That pisses me off. When you get comments about, like, Abby, you're. You need to spend more time with kids. You spend so, so much time with our kids.

Matthew Smith

You spend so much time. And most of the time. Well, here's what those people don't understand, is most of the time, I'm working out before they wake up or they're coming to the gym with me. Yeah. So that's just people that don't.

Abby Smith

I don't even address them but hate comments I do want to address because I would never address them online. But I feel unhinged on this podcast sometimes, okay. Is when people tell me, they're like, oh, Abby's gone overboard. Cause we did a swimsuit try on. And so then people just think that they can comment on my body, which, whatever.

Like, we do kind of set ourselves up for that. But also, it just never. Nothing ever makes it okay to comment on. Comment on someone else's body. Negative things.

Okay. If you're gonna say something positive, sure, whatever. But people will tell me I look manly. Shut up. Literally shut up, because I think that's misogynistic.

Matthew Smith

I think they're just jealous. I think they're jealous of it. I think they see a woman with muscles, and I'm not even that strong. Like, I will say, like, I'm proud of the way my physique looks. I can't lift a ton.

I mean, let's be honest. You are pretty jacked. You are pretty strong. But do you hear what I'm saying? Visually, I think it looks like I am stronger than I am.

You can beat a dude in a push up confidence competition, and you've done it before. You've done it at the. You've done it at the gym. I can't whip out some push ups. What I'm saying, though, is that, like, the fact that you're attributing muscular with masculine makes me angry, because women can be muscular and feminine.

What's funny. Abby is like, it hurts me. You are jacked, but you do not look manly. You look. You look so feminine.

Abby Smith

No, no. You're such a thing. A jacked woman can still be feminine. That's awesome. Being jacked does not make you masculine.

That's what I'm trying to say. And I want him. I just want to fight those people. Just kidding. I don't.

Matthew Smith

But do you ever do a influencer boxing match? No. Oh, my gosh. I'm not like you. I would literally lose also.

Abby Smith

But no, that's the thing. I'm just like, okay, shut up. Also, here's the thing. I don't work out to build my muscles. I don't.

I really do not. That's not ever been my purpose. I've never had a physical purpose for, like, physical goal. I don't think physical goals are bad. It's just not been any part of my goals for working out or my reasoning or my motivation.

Some people are like, oh, you're like, you're looking manly. You're going overboard. Like, this is too strong. It's like, okay, but that was never my goal. What's crazy to me, you've missed the point.

Matthew Smith

This is a mystery that baffles me, and I will never understand how this works. But I'm a 200 pound man, and you're like, you're a woman. That's like, what, 115? 120? No, I'm more than that.

Okay. Let's just say 125. I'm not ashamed of my weight. I can say it. How much do you weigh?

Abby Smith

I'm like, 123. A little bit more like 1.23 and a half. That's awesome. But what's crazy is we almost eat the same amount of food, which doesn't make sense because I'm almost double the size of you. I'm a foot taller than you now.

Matthew Smith

You do have some. Your calves are jacked. Your calves, I'm pretty sure are bigger than my calf muscles. That is something that I've been working on in the gym. I'm trying to build up my bigger calves so that my wife doesn't have big calves.

Abby Smith

Have you ever thought about point dancing? I have not. I used to take. We did ballet together in college, but I have not thought about point. Thank you to Doordash for sponsoring this portion of today's episode.

Matthew Smith

I literally doordash food at least once a week. It is the most convenient thing. I was in Nashville recording music, and I needed to get food sent to the studio, so I doordash some Mediterranean. Yeah. And Matt, would you want zero dollar delivery fees as well?

Um, yes, that would sound wonderful. Well, then you should try dashpass by doordash. Dashpass is an exclusive membership from Doordash that gets you unlimited zero dollar delivery fees on eligible orders and members only. That's really nice. I love that.

I think Doordash is, like, one of the best inventions ever. I doordash food all the time. If you're gone and it's just me and the boys, I don't have time to cook myself food. I'm trying to change two diapers and feed them food and get them down for bed, and it's like, I don't want to, once they're down for bed, try to cook myself dinner after that. What I was gonna say earlier is, though, the members only deals and discounts also come with dash Pass, which is really cool.

Abby Smith

It pays for itself in two orders on average. It's kind of a no brainer. You gotta try it out. And plus, they give you special access to exclusive promotions and menu items, all for just $9.99 a month. 9.99, baby.

Open the door to zero dollar delivery fees and savings you can't get anywhere else. Sign up for dash Pass today only on DoorDash and get your 1st 30 days free if you're a new member. Subject to change term supply. Back to the episode. How do you not eat, like, 20 cookies when you bake, like, two dozen cookies?

Because I eat intuitively. I am like, oh, but they taste so good. I satisfy the craving. I eat a cookie. I'm not like, I cannot have cookies, but I eat a cookie and I have one a day, and I'm like, that satisfied.

That craving. You baked cookies two nights ago. I ate three of them within, like, three minutes. It was just like, before I could even think, I was just like. I literally just ate three.

Matthew Smith

Freshly baked. That's fine. I love that for you. Buttery, soft, sweet, and salty. I love that for you.

They're so freaking good. Thank you. And I love. I love that you love to bake, but I'm almost like, man, what do I. How do I, like, not eat so many desserts when you make them, you know?

Well, so I did put them in the cookie jar to, like, keep them away from myself. And that has helped because I don't visually see them, like, if they're just, like, laying out on a cookie sheet. Oh, you. Every single time I come by the kitchen, boom, cookie in my mouth. Okay, here's a deeper question for you.

Abby Smith

What was food treated like? In your household as a kid, we. Were praised for, like, we, my brothers and I, eat so much food. Like, we would just down a ton of food. Like, it was.

Matthew Smith

It was a good thing. It was never demonized for eating. What about desserts? We couldn't eat dessert until we ate our meal, which I think is a good rule. Okay.

Yeah. I'm wondering. I'm just trying to understand, like, why. Like, I can see cookies, and I'm like, ah, I don't need one right now, even though I love cookies. Like, it's.

Abby Smith

It's not. And, like, why you can't. We had desserts. We had unhealthy food in the house. We had desserts open.

We could, and we didn't have to. We didn't have any rules around food. So I'm wondering if it kind of taught me to self regulate when it came to food better. But I'm also like, maybe it's just your natural thing. Like, you just really want to eat cookies.

Matthew Smith

That was funny that you said you would eat, like, cinnamon rolls for breakfast, Jimmy John's for lunch, and, like, a pizza for dinner when you're in high school. Yeah. I really did not eat very healthy. And I had a vegetable with every meal. Like, my mom made it a rule, which is why I eat peas so much.

I eat peas almost every day, and Griffin loves to eat peas. Yeah. I don't know. I think it might be hereditary. My dad can freaking, freaking throw down some dessert.

My dad knows how to put it down. That is something I want to talk about. In high school, I would literally eat, like, a huge Jimmy John sub chips and a cookie in a soda and then go put on a leotard dance.

Abby Smith

And when I was in the nutcracker mat, boys were supposed to be lifting us up and stuff, and literally, not a second thought I'd be like, I'm gonna grab a cheeseburger from wendy's and fries and probably a frosty, and then go put on leotard and go at. People lift me up. I've noticed that when I eat and drink water, it really helps calm down my cravings for sweets. Cause usually if I'm craving sweets, it's cause I, like, I walked by a donut shop or something, or I saw sweets out, and then I'm hungry or thirsty in that moment, then I'm craving that. But usually, if I satisfy, satisfy those cravings, it goes away.

Matthew Smith

And fruit. Fruit is actually really good because the sweetness from just an actual strawberry or BlackBerry or blueberry takes away the craving. Yeah, I don't wanna fall off of drinks or desserts. So it's like if I'm hungry, I'm like, okay, I need to eat a meal. And then if I'm like, okay, I have a craving for something sweet after that, then I'll have dessert.

Abby Smith

And I have dessert every day. Yeah, every food belongs in a healthy diet. I don't know, I'm just more aware of all this health stuff now because something I saw this like Instagram reel pop up on my feed about how we all have only 4000 weeks to live on average. Okay, why are you always giving me an existential crisis? And I've already lived about 1400 of those, so that's assuming that we live.

His husband do this seriously every single day. Matt's like, isn't that crazy? When I die, I'm like, what? Like morbid. And assuming that I don't like get cancer or die in a car crash, I'm gonna.

Matthew Smith

I got 50 years left. Which is so weird to think about the fact that I've lived a third of my life. I hope that I lived in 95 like my grandpa. But it's crazy. It's really weird when you put life in that, in that lens.

I've been talking to my dad about this too, because my dad works too much and I'm like, dad, you need to. I don't want to go off on my dad on the podcast, but I'm like, but I'm just like, dad, you could literally die at 65. Like you were about to turn 60. You could potentially have five years left. Because there's.

I hear about people's dads all the time dying in their sixties from a heart attack. They overworked. Maybe there was a drinking problem. Drinking kill. Like all my friends who have had dads die, it's always been drinking.

Like you just, you just don't know. So I think that's why this fitness stuff has been become so important to me. And it's not just about looking good, not just about looking sexy. It's about like, I just want to like extend my life as long as possible so I can see my kids grow up and see their kids grow up and maybe see those kids, kids grow up. Like, that'd be so fun, so freaking cool to be a great grandpa one day.

Abby Smith

I would love that you stay engaged in morbid conversations.

Matthew Smith

Okay, let's talk about something happy. What's something happy we can talk about? Let's talk about you. Got any happy ideas on your mind? Honestly, the only thing in my mind is I got.

Abby Smith

I ordered stuff to do a sensory bed. With Griffin out of this, that's all I'm thinking about. I gotta get my. That's kind of fun. You wanna tell me about your sensory bed?

Yeah, I got him a little. Well, we're gonna swap it out. Do you know what sensory bed is? To be honest, I really don't. It's like when you get a box, like a plastic tupperware, but a big one with a lid.

Matthew Smith

Oh, and it has, like, sand, like, moon sand in it. Yeah, I got kinetic sand for it, and I got little dinosaurs. So we're gonna pack it in there, and then we're gonna go be paleontologists and get them out. But then you can also change it. Like, another one I saw is you get these figures of pigs, and you mix cocoa powder and water, and you make mud, and then we wash the pigs off together.

Wait, what if we built Griffin a backyard swing set with a sandbox and he could play in the sand? Well, see, here's the thing. That's what I like about the sensory bin, is that, like, you can change it out pretty easy. Okay. And I feel like a sandbox is just a recipe for disgusting things to happen.

That is true. I had a sandbox as a kid, and then it just turned into, like, a mud pit. A massive litter box. I feel like animals just want to poop in those things. Exactly, because it does look like a big litter box.

Do we have animals in our backyard that get back there? There's probably some scorpions. I mean, we do live in the desert. Yeah, that's kind of scary. That does freak me out.

I thought about that. I'm like, what if a scorpion just, like, stung my kid? Snakes. That spooky too. There's.

Abby Smith

Right. We saw a rattlesnake. We've seen rattlesnakes twice in our neighborhood. Where's the second time? I saw it right outside of the gym.

Matthew Smith

I. Yeah, it was rattling. I could hear it. Okay. No, no, no.

One of our neighbors. Our neighbors had a rattlesnake in their backyard one time. No, we should. Yeah, get a dog. We could get a dog.

I also. Yeah, we need to make sure. Just said we weren't gonna get a dog. Okay. We're not gonna get a dog.

One day, we'll probably get a dog. Do dogs even scare off snakes? Probably not. I'm sure they do. What?

Abby Smith

Scares off snakes? Snakes aren't afraid of anything. No, they're afraid. They get scared. They get scared of humans, even.

Matthew Smith

Yeah. Yeah. What are we talking about. Oh, since we've been really got there. Yeah, sorry.

Got really far off track. Honestly, that's like, my main, that's all I think about is, like, what am I doing with the kids today? What am I doing with dinner? What am I doing for my workout? What's interesting about you is, like, you actually love cook.

Abby Smith

I actually just, like, love the simple things in life so much. And I get that. Right? Like, for me, I love, there's nothing better than just spending time with my. Boys, spending time with romanticize my life.

And I think you should do that more. I have been laundry. I'm making myself a cute little special drink. I'm gonna put on a podcast I like, and I'm gonna just enjoy it as I do it. If I'm gonna work out, I'm gonna get a cute little workout set.

I'm gonna lay out my little shoes, have a pre workout, listen to a playlist I like. I'm gonna make it fun. One of the biggest things I learned in the past six months was it is not about the destination. It is about the journey. I've been telling you that for five.

Matthew Smith

Years, and I've known that. Right? Like, I've known that. But it's crazy how, like, I was watching Shawn Mendes documentary and he, like, won all these awards for music and he was the top artist in the world and all these things, and he didn't feel happy. Like, he was thinking, like, this is it.

What? And so I think it's so funny that we always looked at these, like, super hyper successful people as, like, you know, our inspiration. Yet sometimes they're unfulfilled. Yeah, a lot of times they're unfulfilled or they're depressed. And so I think everyone and anyone can choose happiness in the everyday.

I think we can choose that and find things, despite maybe circumstances that aren't the best. We can find things that are amazing and bring us joy in the everyday. Yeah. Here's the thing. I actually am happier than five years ago, but that's because I have kids.

Abby Smith

It's not because of anything else. Not because we've moved to a different place, because we have a house, because we have, like, the means to travel. Like, it's because we have our family, we have such a good life. And I just, it's good. And it's not to brag because when I hear other people saying that they love their life, it makes me love my life more.

When I hear people complaining, I'm like, ugh, what's wrong? With my life. But when I hear people say, I love my life, I love the things that I'm doing. Maybe not just saying I love my life, because that's kind of weird, but I say that a lot. But you know what I'm saying?

Like, they say they're focusing on the positive. It makes me focus on the positive. It's not bragging. And I never have ever perceived it as bragging. I'm only encouraged by it.

So I hope you can hear this and say, I love my life, and I want you to love your life, too, and the things that you're doing in your life and the people that you're surrounding yourself with and the foods that you're eating. I know. We just had an episode. Someone said not to eat cookies. Oh, yeah, we definitely.

Matthew Smith

We definitely eat those. You know, I would love to see you and doctor. Amen. Go at it over food. No, I don't, because here's the thing.

Abby Smith

He's so happy with the way that he's living his life and that's working for him. I love that for him. Yeah, that's great. I think that there's things from what he has to say that I can pull from and be like, okay, yeah, maybe I should think about organic blueberries, but maybe I also am gonna get some cookies, too. You know what I mean?

Like, you can kind of pick and choose and make your own collage of your life fit for you and for me. Like, avocado and cookies exist. They make it good. Yeah. Yeah, I would.

100% screen time, and sometimes I stay up too late. Our kid. Yeah, we were just playing Miss Rachel for a kid this morning. Like, life is just, hey, you did that. Well, he was asking for Elmo, and you're like, I want to watch toy story.

Matthew Smith

I'm like, abby, we're not turning on toy story for our one year old. We're gonna put on miss Rachel so we can actually learn something. Toy story. Toy story is an educational. Honey, it is.

Abby Smith

Actually, can I tell you something? The more I've listened to Toy Story, the more I'm like, ooh, he says, shut up. In toy story, he says, shut up, shut up. Miss Rachel is far more educational than Toy story. Did you know that?

In toy story, he also says, did you take stupid pills this morning? Do you know why I think Toy story is such a good movie, though? It's because they completely personify these characters and these, like, little toys. What Pixar has been able to do with movies is incredible, because before cartoons were just these little things that kids watched, and animations weren't anything that adults paid any attention to. But from my understanding, Pixar has taken this, like, niche, this genre, and completely universalized it.

Matthew Smith

And now, as adults, we can watch a movie with these animated toys that we can fully fall in love with, because they. It's the most adorable movie ever. It's amazing. It's so creative, inside out and amazing. They're making the sequel this summer, and they're making toy story five, and they're making Ratatouille, too.

Abby Smith

There's so many good Disney Pixar movies. Coming out, and I think for us, like, we are creators, I know how much work goes in behind the scenes into every piece of content that we release. So looking at, like, a movie like Toy Story, where they have all this animation to do the soundtrack, the, like, all the little different changes of their facial features and the story itself, like, there are so many moving parts. I cannot fathom how much work they put into those movies. And they're amazing.

Matthew Smith

They're incredible. It's. It's really remarkable that that exists in our world. I love those movies so much. And I love, here's what's really cool, too.

A little kid, Griffin, one year old, can watch a Pixar movie, fall in love with the characters, love the movie. Me, as a 25 year old dad who has little kids, I can watch the movie and fully enjoy it, too. And there's very few movies that can do that. Mm hmm. Only Disney.

Well, Pixar. But I think, I guess Disney bought Pixar or something. I think that's really, just revisit something for a second. Are you okay with Toy Story saying shut up and stupid? I mean, yeah, Griffin said that.

I don't want my kids saying shut up and stupid. I think once we, like, if our kids are in, like, middle school, high school, and they're saying shut up. Yeah, whatever. But for me, it's more about less of the words, but more of, like, their. Their character, their attitude.

Abby Smith

But are you a little surprised? Like, I was a little surprised when I heard that. Do you think that they would make it, like, movies today saying shut up and stupid? Like, if my. Okay, like, let's pretend that my 16 year old cut him.

Matthew Smith

Like, he's cooking dinner and accidentally sliced his finger open and says the f word. My 16 year old, I'm gonna be like, hey, maybe don't use that language. Right? But, like, yeah, I'd be like, absolutely. Do not say that in my house.

And we might have different opinions on this. But if they said, f you to. Another kid, you're stripped on. If they said, f you to another kid, heck no. That is not okay at all.

I think using a cuss word, they. Cannot forget their homework. But they can say the f word. That's what I'm hearing from you. It's more about your character.

Like, I don't know. They could say, aw, shucks. They cut their finger. Aw, shucks. But, like, they're still screaming out in pain.

Like, I think it's the word. I think that's just disrespectful to say around your parents no matter what. Yeah, I mean, and I can see that, but I just. I think it's a lot more about the intent. The meaning.

Like, oh, I agree. Our kids cannot be saying cuss words to other kids. That is not. That is not okay at all. For sure.

That's so mean. Like, I'm not gonna allow for that at all. But, like, if Griffin told his little brothers, shut up. But even. Even if he did that, I would be like, where did you hear that?

Abby Smith

He said toy story, and I'd be like, what? I think, like, it's funny, right? Like, different languages. You don't know what the other language. Like in Arabic, I have no idea what the cuss words.

Matthew Smith

In Arabic, somebody could say a cuss word to me in Arabic, I'd have no idea what it is. It wouldn't mean anything to me. And so, for me, it's more about the. The meaning, the intent, the. The emotion.

Abby Smith

So you're saying someone can cuss you out if it's in a language that you don't understand? I just think that intent and meaning and the emotion behind the things we say are far more important than the actual words. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah. I was just kind of trying to say, like, do you think kids movies nowadays would ever say shut up and stupid?

Because I don't think they would. They do. I think you'd be shocked sometimes. What? Shocked me.

Do you think in toy Story five this year coming out, they're gonna have Woody say, shut up? Probably not. Was this the first story? Yes. I'm saying what was okay in the nineties.

Dude, it's not okay now. They only had PG and R back in the day, pg 13 didn't exist, so the PG movies used to have all sorts of profanities. Profanities. Yeah. Let me just look up when Toy Story came out, because I am shocked you're not surprised by this.

But here's the thing. We turned out. All right. And we watched 90. 519.

Matthew Smith

90 came out in 1995. Crazy. Abby, that is 30 years ago. Like, basically 30 years ago. 29 years ago.

Abby Smith

Why are we always talking about toys where I can't help myself? I just. That makes me respond free in my brain, and it. It's still so good. Wow.

If you wanted to feel old today, just think about that. It's okay. I honestly don't want to ever dread getting older. I just want to, like, view each year I've lived my life as a gift. You know what's weird to me, Abby.

Is and if things get saggy and wrinkly, so be it. I remember when I was in high school, there were cut to me getting. Botox two years from now. Sorry, what were you saying? There were times in high school where, as I got older, I remember my older brother told me, Matt, this is going to be the first year where kids who weren't born in the 19 hundreds are going to be in high.

Matthew Smith

So they were born in, like, when. I see people born, like, 2005. No, no, no. It's like, I think it's 2010 now. Oh, hail.

I think it's a. Yeah, we're about to have kids in high school. Or at least it's either happening right now or it's about to happen 2010. That doesn't even feel right. I feel like it's 2000.

We're old. We are old. We are 25. We are halfway to 30. Halfway.

Abby Smith

Halfway between. We have to end this before we have another crisis. Yeah. Okay. We're gonna.

Matthew Smith

We're gonna go eat lunch. Thanks for listening. Bye.

Abby Smith

Bye.

Getting Body Shamed & Getting in an Argument

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1: Body Image Discussion

2: Dynamics of Arguments

3: Parenting Philosophies

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

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Transcript