#2168 - Tyler Fischer

A
Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out. The Joe Rogan experience. Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by night.

B
All day.

Oh, hey, Joe Rogan. What's going on? Is there a left or right here or does it matter? No, it's all mono. What's cracking, brother?

Oh, yeah. Let me just get a little confidence here. I'm so small. This is like a large coffee to me. They'll make you pee.

A
They'll make you pee. That's one thing. Nespresso's. I'm peeing right now, dude. I'm just gonna do the Biden.

B
Just let it out. Ari peed in that seat three or four times yesterday. Yesterday? Yeah. He pissed into Bud light cans.

A
He's so disgusting. Ari Shafir. Oh, yeah. Every time he's here. Oh, I didn't know he's here.

He pees into things. I'm trying to get him to move here. He's not going to. He's a New York rat. Yeah, but he's here all the time.

I mean, he might as well live here. He's here like four or five times a year. Yeah, just good enough. It's good enough. He should.

He should move here. He's so funny, man. I love watching him at the comedy cellar. Cause he's one of the guys that just fucking goes for it. Yeah, he definitely goes for it.

It's gotten him in a lot of trouble. It all comes out in the wash, though, right? Well, if you're talented. Yeah, and he's definitely talented. He's just a wild boy.

B
I watch the crowd when he's on. Cause I like to see the crowd just slowly kind of go away. He's working through stuff. He gets messy. I like that.

A
Yeah. They put me and him on at the late, late shows now in the cellars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is. What is New York scene like these days?

B
Well, I'm here now. We'll say that with an american flag on. This is what it does to you, man. Dude, Evan. Dude, before I moved here, I was a 60 year old jamaican woman.

Look what Texas does to you. It gets you in its bones. It's just a fun thing to be. It's fun to be a texan. Someone the other day on the street said, goes, you got kid rock.

Fuck Zach Elefanacus. I was like, yeah, that works. Yeah, that tracks.

A
How long you been out here now? Oh, like two weeks. Wow. It's like a dream. This has been a weird.

B
Including this. It's all a weird dream. How long have you been doing stand up now. I mean, I got on stage when I was 17 or 18 in high school. Started doing improv and stand up on stage.

That's almost 20 years. Oh, wow. And then I went to college. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was failing out of high school.

I needed, like, a b to pass. And I was friends with the acting teacher. We would drink together. What? Public school, brother.

Public school. Wow. Yeah. We would drink together and smoke. And I thought, if I take his class, he's got to give me an a, or I can get him sent to jail, probably for all this bad behavior.

And so I took this acting class, and I got on stage, and he pulls me aside. Like, day one, he goes, this is what you need to do with your life. And I go, okay, okay. Stop drinking. Stopped smoking.

I was, like, in a gang. I was growing. We. Yeah, I was a nightmare kid. People think I'm just this nice little guy.

I was a fucking monster. And getting on stage, and I got all that energy out, and it's what I've been doing every day since. Wow, that's cool that someone recognized that, because most of the time they takes one person. It's insane. It takes one person.

A
And you know, that one person literally can change your life. Cause you're in this part of your life where you're not. You don't know what the fuck you're gonna do. No. And then someone gives you a direction, and they say, hey, you're really good at this.

This is your thing. Oh, my God. I found my thing that day. You go home, you're like, I found my thing. Yeah.

B
He had us first class. We had to dance on stage. He was like, you're gonna fuck. Oh, he was wild, dude. He was a playwright.

He'd take the metro north in from Connecticut, New Haven, to put on little plays. And I just thought. I just thought it was the sexiest thing. It was like, this guy was, like living in the 1920s or something. Like a real artist.

Yeah, yeah. And he goes. He goes, we're gonna humiliate ourselves. Day one. He goes, it's gonna be so bad.

So everything you do after this is gonna be a breeze. And I've still used that to this day. With standup, you gotta get messy. You gotta. So he said, we're gonna go do the silliest dances.

I went home. I was practicing in the bathroom, just sweating. Turn around. I've never performed. And I'd get on stage and he'd be like, sillier, weirder, weirder until you just had a mental breakdown.

And then after that, doing a little Shakespeare was fine. Oh, that's an interesting strategy. Yeah. And someone will break you down and go, you're allowed to fuck up. You're allowed to get messy.

And that's why I got a place here. Cause I went to your club, and I saw Bryan Holtzman, and I go, wait a minute. You're allowed to do this? There's a place where you're allowed to say whatever you want. Well, Brian Holtzman was, like, a hero of comedians in Los Angeles, but he didn't get good spots, unfortunately.

A
They put him on really late at the end of the show, and it was a wild thing to watch. You know, you watch, like, 2030 people in the audience. This guy's saying the most hilarious but yet horrific things, and he just never got the respect that he deserves. I've known Brian for, I guess, around 30 years now. When we first started at the store, we were, like, young hotshots.

He was, like, this young, dark haired, slicked back, like, really interesting guy. Like, really, like, same style that he has now he had back then. I can't imagine him with any more energy than he has now, though. It was the same guy. Oh.

His energy has not waned at all, which is why he's so good, you know? Like, some people slow down. It sucks. It sucks to see. Yeah.

You know? Cause they slow down. You're like. You don't wanna say anything to them, you know? Like, hey, man, you gotta pick it up.

B
Yeah. Whatever the fuck you used to be. You gotta bring that back. Turn it up a little bit. Yeah.

A
You're a little too casual up there. I don't wanna say lazy, but there's like, you're too tired. Yeah, you gotta fire the fuck up. Holtzman never lost that kind of. That fuck, you know, that fucking crazy when he gets crazy.

But he didn't have a show, like, a real showcase. He didn't have, like, a real, you know, like, a real awesome spot where he could perform in front of crowds that weren't tired and hadn't seen 3 hours of comedy. But so now we've got him headlining, you know, and people come to see him. They know who he is. They get excited.

People have seen him multiple times. He's got cult following here. It's great. He definitely does. Yeah.

B
So that was it. I saw him once, and then I was like. I went to, like, the open mic or whatever. You know, I was in town doing the vulcan, I think. And then I go, I'm going to try to get an audition.

Adam wasn't here. Flew back, got the audition, then did a couple spots, then did a guest spot on holtzman show. And then I was in the car in New york. I pull over, I'm just looking at apartments in Texas. I just call the guy, go, hey, can I move there?

I made him an offer. I made him an offer that was, like, insane. I'm renting. He literally goes, are you fucking with me, dude? And the next day he goes, they took your offer.

And I was. And that was it. Wow. And it was like. I know Ron White calls it comedy camp.

It feels like that when I'm landing here. It feels like Camp David or something. Yeah, Ari said it yesterday. He said, you made a festival here every week. It's like a festival.

It's a festival. Yeah. I wasn't sure if I'd made the right move. And then I'm on the plane and it's Roseanne Barr the next row back, Sebastian Maniscalco, and I'm right behind him and I was losing my fucking mind.

I'll go, this is it. Yeah, well, whenever you don't know if you should do something and you're like, you want to do something, but then you have that little, oh, I don't know. Is this right? You gotta always go for it. You gotta do it.

A
You gotta go for it. And you get better at that as you age, you know, it's like you have to. You gotta fuck up a lot. And they go fuck up a little less this time. Yeah, the fuck up thing.

But it's also just like taking chances. Going for things is very important. Every time I've ever done it, it's been good my whole life, every single time, whether it's first time going on stage, you know, even this. Even like, moving here. Sure.

You know, because I have a family and I had a business, you know, like this podcast that requires guests. And I had all these people that already lived in LA, had this built in, you know, group of people that I would have on. And it's just like coming out here was. But I was like, this is. This is the move.

And then opening the club is like, this is the most. And it's gonna be fucking annoying. It's gonna be a lot of energy, a lot of stuff going on, a lot of things to pay attention to. But that's what really needs to happen. You get to practice your hour a couple times a week and the road comes to you.

That's great. That definitely helps a lot. It just keeps you so much healthier it's crazy how much better you feel when you don't travel every week. It's nuts. I just started touring this year.

It wears you. Holy shit. Yeah, it's like getting drunk. Yeah, it's like getting drunk. And then you have a show that night, and then you have another show, and then you fly home, and you get drunk.

Flying home. Because it feels like when you land, like you're hungover. Yeah, you're just like, oh, why am I so worn the fuck out? And with the heat here, man. Yeah, you get used to that kind of.

B
I understand. Biden a little more. I've been walking around just like, where am I? What is going on here? Shit.

In my. This episode is brought to you by UFC 303 on ESPN. Plus, don't miss UFC 303, international fight week's main event, with Alex Powhatan Pejeda defending his light heavyweight title against Yuri the last samurai Prohoska. It's an insane fight that I can't wait to see again. It's an incredible card, and it all goes down on Saturday, June 29, at 10:00 p.m.

A
eastern. Card events subject to change. Must be an ESPN plus subscriber to purchase UFC 303 pay per view pants. Ha. You silly boy.

Did you. I was telling you before this. This mayoral race in San Francisco, this might be the end. This might be like, san Francisco is a failed city. I mean, it really is.

But there's no better indication of how failed it is than listening to this debate, listening to these people argue about what's important in San Francisco. This was on the Jesse Water show. You got to listen to this, because how many drag queens do you know? You were at the debate last week and couldn't name any drag queens on your own? I was wondering if you could have.

This is an opportunity to redeem yourself, and if you could name three LGBTQ advisors for your campaign and three drag queens in San Francisco, just imagine. Shut the fuck up. And that was the thing she was gonna sit down on. This is the actual current mayor of San Francisco. London breed.

London breed. Yeah. And she's like, can you name three drag queens? Can you name three mentally ill men who dress up like the most tardish. Caricaturist, like famous or just, like, pixie that does the, you know, the kids story hour downstairs?

Lexus. Yeah, Lexus. Down at the club. She does the burlesque show. What the fuck are you talking about?

B
Yeah, no, sit back and enjoy. This is. Sit back and enjoy the show. When woke. Woke ism.

Just takes on this energy, and it gets crazier and crazy. I mean, look at the. The sexuality acronym. It used to be gay and lesbian. G.

It is. Watching politicians have to recite that. Oh, it's so. It's like Trudeau's gun to their head. Yeah, yeah.

A
Trudeau has them all down. But my favorite is two a I. Two s plus is like, everybody's in this gang that's not a white male. You mean the american flag? That would be a great flag to.

Represent biracial people of color. There's so many different things indigenous. There's two spirit. Two spirits in there, which is my favorite. Yeah, I'm a two spirit.

What the fuck are you? Why not three? Why not four? Why not 45? You're limiting yourself.

And then a, which is hilarious, too. Cause how do they have any say? They're asexual. Asexual. Like, how are they in there with the perverts?

How are they in there with the freaks? How are they in there with the transgender people? How are they in there with fucking guys wearing leather thongs and g strings walking down the street? We don't want any part of this. How does the A's.

How are the A's in that they just don't want to fuck? My friend came out as bisexual, this guy in New York, and he goes, well, I've been so oppressed. I'm like, am I supposed to feel bad that you get to fuck everybody? Really? Just like, aw, he's been depressed.

How so? I don't know. I don't know. How are you? It's a fun thing to say.

B
It's a fun thing to say. Yeah. And it also gives you, like, a position where people have to go, oh, my God. I'm so sorry. What did I do?

George Bush was, like, talking about pride the other day, and I was like, if he was. If. Yeah, yeah. He was on some interview, and I was like, if he was president today, having to, you know, the LMAFos, the HGTVs, the PB and J's. These are tasty folks.

You know, my cousin's a translucent. Now watch this drive. But think about how much has changed since him. Well, he is so reasonable now in comparison. I used to have a joke about Bush getting elected, about the Iraq war, and that there's people in the back of the room, and their idea was the only way to find out how dumb people really are is to have a dumb president and see if everybody freaks out.

A
Cause the only way they know that he's dumb is if they're smarter than him. Yeah. So the only way to find out is put a dumb president and see how everybody responds. And then it was all about the Iraq war and all these things happened, like what they believed, what they did, and then at the end of it, I go, I think the people in the back of the room are going, I think we can go dumber. And they were right.

Yeah, they were so right. Well, people act like Trump and Biden are the first. La Quinta. Weird. We had an autistic cowboy running the country for eight years.

B
We wanted eight years of that. Yeah, yeah. But people didn't want it at the end, which is why Obama won, which is what this country always does. We swing hard one way and then we swing the other way. And Duncan Trussell said this when they were smashing windows and looting during the George Floyd protests.

A
Duncan said, dude, this is going to be so bad because we're going to have a right wing authoritarian president next. And I thought about it, I was like, God damn, he's probably right because that's really what happens. There's like an over correction one way and another. Like the San Francisco London breed mayor thing. This is an over correction to discrimination.

So there is some discrimination of gay people. There's discrimination of all kinds of people. How now, though? There's still with gay people for sure. There's still people that are homophobic, especially religious people.

B
It's too complicated now because it's like, well, there's that. And then there's, you know, gay guys who dress up as women who want to read to kids. And then there's those who cut their dicks. It's too. My dad came out of the closet when I was seven, so I was raised in this stuff.

He came out as racist, but he, no, he's gay. I got a gay dad. I have two dad. Mom remarried, and then my dad with a husband. And so it's funny, I try to talk about this like, well, shut up, straight white guy.

This isn't your lived experience. I'm like, no, it is. It is. Do you say this on stage? I talk about it on stage.

I talk about it everywhere. Yeah, people started booing me when I started talking about this in New York City a long time ago. It was the first time where I talked about my personal life. Cause I have a crazy. Everyone has a crazy life.

A
What were they booing? Well, they're just like, you can't talk. You can't talk about. That's their life. You can't talk about what it's like to be a gay person.

B
And it's like, when I was seven, I was hiding it from my friends. So I was living like a closeted gay guy. I went to insane lengths to hide it, hide my dad having a boyfriend. Cause back this was 1993, that's when it was, you know, and prior, that's when it was bad. But I imagine what guys like that think of what's going on now to be like, you're like a two spirit hetero whatever this shit is.

A
Yeah. And back then, it was bad, but. When I was in middle school, my friend Josh, his mom was gay, and he didn't tell us, and nobody. Nobody talked about it. But I.

B
Lesbian mom's a little cooler, though. She mean, she had the whole thing, like, she was wearing the sleeveless vest with the big arms. She was a big lady, and she had a girlfriend with short hair that was always over the house. It was like the whole. Like, you'd go, who's that lady?

A
That's my mom's friend. Why is she always over? Did she live with you? That's exactly what happened. It was one of them things.

Yeah, I lived in San Francisco, and so when I moved to Boston, I moved to Florida for a few years. Then we moved to Boston. Like, I had been around gay people from the time I was seven to eleven. Like, my neighbors were gay. My aunt used to go over and play bongos with them naked.

They would smoke pot and play bongos. I remember it was way cooler. Yeah. I mean, she just loved the fact she could just be naked around Kais and no one cared. But it was just this thing where, like, the whole neighborhood was gay.

Everybody was gay. Gay was super normal to me. I did, but. So my friend was, like, hiding the fact that his mom was gay. You know, we never really pressed him on it, but me and my other friend were like, you know his mom's gay, right?

Like, oh, yeah, obviously. But, yeah, we were 13. Like, what are you gonna do for men? I think it was associated with AIds. So I remember I was in the car and, you know, we would, like, raise money for AIDS runs and all this stuff.

B
And my friend's like, that's the AIDS thing, right? Yeah. My dad's an attorney. I would tell him. Cause he'd go, this is my partner.

And I would tell my friends, they go, why is your dad's partner sleeping? I'd go, that's his law partner. I go, they're working on a case. They're gonna be up all night, fellas. You know, if you hear some banging and moaning and shit.

They're recreating the murder. They're in there. I would come up with this. Probably why I'm a good writer. Cause back then, it was not accepted at all.

A
When did everybody figure it out? I never told anybody. Wow. Yeah. I think I was in college the first time I told somebody.

B
Cause I was a theater major, so it was like I was safe. Yeah. I was the weird one. Being also gives you, like, social props. It does, yeah.

A
Street cred. Yeah, I'll take whatever I can get. Now, when you got resting January 6 face, man, you need something? Do you think you have January 6? Well, you do.

With that hat. Resting January 6 face. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I don't care.

B
I was raised to hate America. All that bullshit. I fucking love this country, man. It's a great country. I love it.

A
There's no reason to hate America. No. We should always hate bad behavior in all groups of people, left and right. Shitty, evil people on both sides. That's what we're supposed to hate.

We're not supposed to hate America. And the history. It's history. You gotta honor it. Even, like, the stuff.

B
Growing up with my dad and stuff, I had a lot of resentment about that. But I thought, you know what? That's my. That was my burden to bear. And I have friends who, you know, who saw my dad, you know, gay was bad back then.

But they'd see my dad being a great dad and cooking us dinner. And so their introduction to a homosexual was this normal guy, my dad. He looks like you. He's like. Looks like kind of like Bruce Willis and fucking.

He's just a normal dude. He's not a feminine. He doesn't do the, like. Yeah. It's like, you know, which is interesting, right?

A
Different groups of gay people. We associate gay with people who behave in a very specific, exaggerated way. Yeah, but they're the loudest ones on the floats with their dick out and a four year old's face. Well, that's what's weird. It's like, it's not just gay pride.

It's overtly sexual behavior pride. You know, those things should have nothing to do with. They're so different. I know so many gay guys that are just, like. You would never know unless they told you they were gay.

They just seemed like men. Do you think people are actually homophobic? Or did. They're just. They have an issue with it.

B
Getting sort of convoluted into this sexual thing that our kids are seeing. I think people who are homophobic just lack nuance. They don't understand that there's weird people in every group. Like, would you be heterophobic if you found out about people that are child molesters? You know, like, if there was men that wanted to date 14 year old girls and have sex with 14 year old girls, you wouldn't be heterophobic because of that.

A
Just like you shouldn't be homophobic if there's gay men that want to groom young boys. It's not about the gay, it's about assholes. It's about shitty members of society. And it's about. A lot of them are people who are victims themselves, and then they perpetuate it again later in life.

It's almost like being bitten by a vampire. One of the things that happens with a lot of these molested guys, that's. How you become gay, by the way. Blah. Bitten by a vampire.

Yeah, but a lot of these molested guys wind up doing it to other kids, which is fucking insanely evil. Like, their life got destroyed and then they wound up destroying other people's lives. I think it's something like 30% become molesters. Crazy. My priest and I don't know the backstory on this, he blew his brains out when I was eight years old.

Jesus, dude. Yeah, seven and eight was rough for you. Seven was dad coming out and then the priest. What did the priest do that he wanted to blow his brains out? I don't know, but I always Catholic.

B
I always think about it because I'm like, were my blowjobs that bad? You know what I mean? Were they that bad? Was it Catholic? I don't know what he did after the blow.

He didn't touch me because I wasn't a part of it. Catholic? Methodist. Methodist. Interesting.

A
Are they allowed to get married? Yeah, I think so. Huh? The cats. Allowed to blow their brains out?

B
He did it at the altar. Oh, my God. In front of everybody. No. Off day, thank God.

But I remember going back in, like, the next day, and we just had a new guy and he had a mustache. He looked like Ned Flanders. And I'm like, no, I can't. I can't do this any, like. Did they tell everybody what happened?

Yeah. Did he leave a note? Give me. Probably. Maybe.

A
I don't know. Does anybody know, like, what was wrong? No, I googled it. It's been wiped. I can't even find the story.

B
I know they're good at wiping that well. There's a fucking. There's a horrible thing that you people connect priests with child molesters? Cause, you know, like, just like we were talking about other things. There's a group of them.

Well, I wonder if by occupation, that they're. If it's the most. I can't say for sure, but it's. Certainly associated the most. Like, it's not like NASCAR drivers.

A
Imagine if that many NASCAR drivers were molesting kids. They'd shut NASCAr down in a fucking heartbeat. Sure they would. But meanwhile, the church gets tax exempt status. Right.

You know, they're literally guilty of moving people who are molesters to another place where they can molest new people instead of turning them in. That's what Pope Benedict got in trouble for. It's one of the reasons why he stepped down. Really. Yeah.

He was responsible for moving this one guy that went on to molest a hundred deaf kids. Yeah, yeah. They. They would move these people to places where they could get away with it instead of turn them in. And I don't know if they gave him counsel.

I mean, the fuck. The thing about that particular evil, the evil of child molesters, is you don't. It doesn't seem to be able to be fixed. Like, no one, you know, if you were a guy who is like a. Like a Wolf of Wall street guy, he did a lot of crazy shit with the stock market.

But then you realize, like, I fucked up. You know, I should have never done that. I was doing drugs. I fucked up. People that kind of accept that you're not a thief anymore.

Yeah, you can go do talk shows, you know, you can write a book and people go, wow, that guy, they made a movie out of him. You know, Leonardo DiCaprio. Leonardo DiCaprio played him at a fucking movie. And now he's out there. He's back.

But we don't think that way about child molesters. It's the one, like, if you murdered somebody. Like, I was young, I was stupid. I hated that person. I didn't think I murdered them.

You do 25 years in jail, you come out. Maybe we think, like, that guy's reformed. There's no feeling like that ever. With, you go out and make midnight at Paris after that? Yes.

He never went to jail. No, I don't. I don't know if he did, you know? Well, he did something. I went out with a girl who told.

B
She goes, I feel like I'm with, hanging out with Woody Allen when I'm hanging out out with you. And I was like, I don't know if that was a. What year would he have? Danny hall, you give me an existential crisis. You know, you're not even asian.

You know? I'm trying something different. Have you ever listened to his old stand up? Yeah, I like it. It's so pervy.

Yeah, he's very pervy. But it's hilarious how openly pervy he is. Yeah. Yeah. And then you have to think of the time in which he was doing the stand up.

A
This is the 1960s. Yeah. So he's doing this, like, weird sexual. Yeah. I was fucking a moose.

B
You know, the moose had me mounted on the wall about girls. Yeah. Yeah. The way he talks about girls. I loved girls.

His voice is so. To be a. You know. You know, he really. This is really what his voice is.

You know? You're a knockout, Joe. You really are. And he's an odd dude. Yeah.

That's just when you're funny, though. Yeah. You can be. That's. That's your currency.

He's an ugly, weird looking guy, but if you're funny, you. That's. That's what you do. Yeah. Up until the whole child molesting accusations.

Yeah, she was a bit of a batshit crazy lady. I mean, Farrow, both of them deserve whatever happened. They both deserve it. She was adopting kids and returning them. What?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. She returned them. Yo, all the time. Yeah.

A
Why? Yeah, she just. Bad. I like this one. You know, she would get, like, mangled kids and all these, you know, they'd have all these disabilities and stuff, and then she would return them.

Wow. Yeah. I mean, all. All the kids have come out with different stories, but, you know, well, if you're. They deserve each other.

If you're fostering kids and taking care of care kids, you're taking care of kids that have already experienced, like, some crazy shit, you know? These kids are probably already fucked up. I didn't speak English. They'd bring them in from different countries, China and stuff. They didn't speak English.

B
They'd be, like, disabled. And then Woody Allen's like, you want to go for a walk? You know?

But his movies are so good. They're pretty good. They're not that good. They're not that good, but. But what I love about it is a different.

Nobody could do that now and go, I can go. Go make a movie a year. You're going. I'm gonna see the Rogan movie. I'm gonna see.

I'm seeing the Shane Gillis movie. Did he really make one a year? Yeah. Wow. He made him real cheap, didn't pay himself, and we'll never have that again.

I even remember when I was in my teens going, I'm seeing the Woody Allen movie. You didn't even care what it was. It's like a new comedian special coming out. You just got, like. They were always good, right?

A
Like, how many does he have? Oh, my God. Look at how many movies he has. Absolutely. He's still making them.

B
That one's good. Renadin. New York is good. Where does he live now? He lives in Manhattan still?

Yeah. Same place. Upper east side. I wonder if he gets fucked with, like, can he just walk around? Probably.

He's dead. He's old, man. Yeah, he is old. I don't think people would recognize him. Real.

A
Oh, come on. Not the younger. Not the younger generation. I think they know who he is. He never lived with me.

B
A pharaoh, I found out. So they never lived. They never even slept over each other's house. They were never married. Oh, no kidding.

Yeah. Doesn't make it less weird that he started fucking her daughter. But. No, but it's not. You know, especially since he knew her.

A
Since she was, like, two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not good. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what he looks like now. Yeah. Yeah. They'd recognize him in a heartbeat, dude. Well, she's older now.

Yeah. He's 88. Wow. God damn. He's done the pandemic, I think.

B
Finished him. He's 88. Finished him. Well, I mean, just. Life is finishing him.

A
He's 88 years old, man. I mean, that's just. And he just still does a movie a year. What did he get arrested for there? That's from a movie.

B
Take the money, I think. Yeah. He had some great fucking movies, man. He did. But he's a.

He's a real, like, germaphobe, neurotic guy. The pandemic ruined anybody that had that type of personality. Oh, I know a few people. Oh, God. Yeah.

Done. Yeah. They're not coming back. Not. That's.

That is a tragedy. This is. That's the tragedy of our time, man. Yeah. There were people that were barely hanging on.

Oh, yeah. They were riddled with anxiety. Yeah. I was one of them, but it was more because I. Because I didn't get the vaccine and couldn't take part in society.

That was a fun little experiment. We did that. We're just gonna pretend like never happened. Yeah. That was an interesting thing.

Interesting little thing. Yeah. Yeah. We had segregation in this country based on medicine, and then we're back to pretending like it never fucking happened. Well, at least now there's.

A
They're having hearings on it. Yeah. Nine years later, Fauci was on tv the other day going, you know, it could have come from the lab. It may have been a leak. I want to stay open minded.

B
And on CNN, they're like, yeah, okay, like, what? Do you see all that leaked stuff coming out his audio? Yeah, you gotta make human pressure, people. You gotta. Yeah, they'll drop their ideological bullshit when they can't work been shown.

A
When you make their lives difficult, they will drop their ideological bullshit. Just give them another booster. Boost them up. Saying that about people's jobs, that you're going to force them into making a decision with their own body. And not only that, but mandate it.

And not only that, as a doctor, know that some people are allergic to some of the components, some of the actually ingredients in these fashions. Aaron Rogers is one of them. Yeah, he's allergic to one of the chemicals that's in it. You can't take it. And some people have immune systems that work pretty well, and maybe you don't need to start jabbing them with experimental stuff.

I mean, yeah, it's a wild thing that happened, and so many people are still defending it because they defended it previously. They're not defending it from a position of objectivity like, here we are, 2024. Let's look at the data. No, they're defending it from this weird place of. I defended it three years ago, and I shamed people three years ago.

And we were right. We were right. We were right, you were wrong, we were right. It saved millions. They always say that.

Saved millions, which is, by the way, there's no way to tell if that's true. There's no way to tell because the. Number of people that actually die from COVID is so grossly exaggerated. Most people think it's a very high number of people that died from COVID It's less than 1%. It's like, was it three?

Is it, like, one third of 1%? Is that what it is? Something like that. And I don't know one per. I know people do.

B
And some people, you know, I know. A couple of people that died, but. It'S not what I remember. I was watching CNN. I was kind of like a brainwashed, woke person.

Until the pandemic, really. Every day I was on CNN watching. Watching that death ticker that, like, the stock market. And then when I made my decision not to get the vaccine, and I lost almost every friend, every job, and was called, like, a far right Trump supporter, I go, okay, this is. We've never done this before.

A
What was your decision. Why'd you decide not to take it? Well, I mean, I'm not getting something. First of all, it wouldn't have been made that Trump's really good at pushing things through regulations very fast. If we had any other president, there's no way that's what.

B
Warp speed. You remember warp speed, Joe, right? Nobody can do that. We call it warp speed. Edison couldn't do it with lightning speed, but I did warp speed.

I made it. They said, sure, it'll take 15 years. I made it in two days. He's bragging about how quick he did it. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not gonna fucking get that.

I'm young, I'm healthy. I had Covid, I had natural immunity. I was doing what everybody has done throughout history. Right, you already had Covid, which is really important. Yeah.

So why risk that? And what was the. What version of COVID did you have the earliest? I had the first. The first.

The OG. The original. How bad was it for you? It was. It was like I get the flu every year.

I'm tiny. I'm a sickly person. You know, I'm allergic to fucking cigarettes. Why not? I quit smoking.

I was twelve. But. But you smoke a cigar. I started when I was ten. Yeah, ten to 21.

I smoked for eleven years. Nice. So let's start now. Sorry, I would have invited. No, it's fine, it's fine.

I just got. Damn. How did I know that you had quit cigarettes? No, you wouldn't know that. Somebody, I think somebody brought it up.

Well, I put up a sign when I was filming the special that like a no smoking sign? Oh, yeah. A no smoking. So the marks, brother. When I fucking.

Well, I had a. I had a. When I was. I filmed the special last week and I. We were live editing it.

So I put up a no smoking sign in the green room because I had all these. I had all this camera crew and stuff in there.

What do you hit? This thing. The other side. The top. That's flipped.

A
The way I handed it to you. Turn towards you. Turn towards you. No, no, no, the other way. You see that?

That's the top right there. And you pulled that thing down. Okay, that's it. There you go. But you got it backwards.

You should do it the other way so you can see what you're doing. Oh, like this? Yeah, there you go. Oh, I was good at this when I was twelve. Where?

B
Oh, yeah, I used to steal cigars. I was in like a skateboard gang. And I was so small they'd send me under the counter, and I would steal, like, thousands of dollars of cigars under counters. Yeah. I'd sneak under the counter of a drugstore.

A
Oh, God. Cause I was so small. And then I'd come out with. And we would sell them on the street. Your gang sold stolen cigars?

B
Stolen cigars. And we grew weed in my backyard. Yeah. Yeah. It was a real gang.

It was a gang. I mean, somebody stole our weed once. We went and flipped their car over and burnt. And burnt it. Wow.

Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. So that's, you know, the privilege of growing up in Connecticut.

It was a. What part of Connecticut? New Haven. I know. New Haven called gunblazing.

Everyone's like, oh, you're so privileged. It was a. New Haven's a sketchy place. Sketchy? Yeah.

We're gunshots every night. Every single night. I used to do the Joker's wild comedy club in New Haven. You did? Yeah.

A
Oh, yeah. Is that still around? I don't know. It's where I did my first open mic at Lee. No shit.

You did your first open mic there? Mm hmm. Wow. Yeah. Actually, no, first one was the cafeteria at college.

B
Yeah, I was in a play. I was playing George Bush. First acting role I ever did. Stuff happens. Did you ever hear about that play?

A
No. Stuff happens. It was in the West End in London. It was all actual quotes from George Bush and his administration, the whole thing. And it's fucking amazing.

Really? Yeah, yeah. The war in terror, which. Weapons of mass destruction, all the whole. The way they.

B
It was almost like the pandemic, the way they scared people. Weapons of mass destruction, we got to take them out. We got to do what we got to do. And we went in there, and what came of that? Yeah.

Biden pulling out, leaving billions of dollars of shit behind. Yeah. If you just compared Biden to George Bush, George Bush looks like a fucking Rhodes scholar. Yeah, Shakespeare. That's crazy.

A
We thought that he was an idiot. We thought, God, I can't. This is such an embarrassment that that guy is the president. Yeah. And now look at the two choices we have.

You're like, yo, Bush would be like, the. Like, the wise choice at this point. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah.

B
Did you ever watch the clip when they're, like, asking him, I think, about bin Laden or something? He's like, we're going to find bin Laden. But first, watch this drive. I watch that every day. It was a good drive.

Yeah. And it was a way of keeping people calm and, like, he's so american. He just is. We're dumb. We're fucking stupid.

A
Yeah. He's a transport to Texas. You know, they're from Maine. He was born in New Haven, you know. Was he really?

B
And he denies it. He denies it. The bridge that goes into New Haven is the George W. Bush Bridge. And he denies he was born at Yale New Haven Hospital.

A
Wait a minute. Why would he lie about that? Cause he wants to be. I'm from Texas. You know, red, white, and blue.

B
I believe it. But he knows they're from Kennebunkport, Maine. Born in New Haven. Really? Oh, yeah.

A
Interesting. They're like, fuck you. We're naming the bridge after it is american. Hey, baby. New Haven.

Yeah, New Haven, Connecticut. So at one point in time, he was hiding this. Is that what it is? Isn't that funny? He's younger than both fucking Trump and Biden.

He's Jesus Christ. He hasn't been the president in, like, 20 fucking years. That's so crazy. He's younger than both of them. That's so nuts.

Look at that. That is so nuts. That is crazy. That's so nuts. I would vote for him for a third term, 100%.

B
In a second. Come on back, George. Yeah, we need a laugh, buddy. And bring that Darth Vader fucking fake heart motherfucker with you. Yeah.

Dick Cheney. Yeah. Is he stuck alive? Yeah. He's literally in the Bible.

A
He had no pulse at one point in time. No pulse because he had an artificial heart put in while they were waiting to put a replacement. Oh, that's right. Artificial pump put in. So this pump continually circulated blood.

It didn't have a pulse, so he had no pulse. Tell me that's not in the Bible. Isn't that in the Bible? Oh, my God. I don't know.

B
Maybe you heard, my priest blew his brains out when I was eight. I kind of stopped reading. But, I mean, if you're going to have, like, a demon incarnate, you probably have no pulse. You know? Geez.

I mean, watching Biden in a call, like, when he freezes up now. Oh, yes. You think he's gone, man. Well, he's gonna go, but it's also, he's freezing up, medicated to the tits. Like, whatever they're doing to keep him alive.

A
Iv vitamin transfusions and fucking hormones and amphetamines. Whatever they're doing. I don't know what they're doing. Nootropics. I don't know what they're doing.

B
He could be the first president to be assassinated by time. Yeah. I mean, I just. He's not gonna make it. I just can't believe they're running him.

A
It doesn't even make sense. The more he flails about in these speeches, the more he fucks up it more. It's almost like he feels like he doesn't want to do it, so he's trying to get out. Why are they saying this didn't happen? This did not happen.

White house denies claims Biden froze at. Fundraiser event they're calling them cheap fakes now. But wait a minute. There's a video of the show where. Look, I don't think that's a big deal.

The thing's over. He gets led off the stage, like, who cares? That's nothing. Some of the other stuff, like, what was that one where he was, like, yelling at people? Like, completely just yelling with a big smile on his face.

B
He always does that. Yeah, but this was a wild one. That's just him walking off with Joe Biden, with Obama. Who cares? That doesn't.

I think it was the. Like, he gave him the little pinch on the arm like you do to your grandma. Well, he's looking at the crowd. Let's go. He's just looking out at the crowd, which is.

He does look frozen, though. Yeah, yeah, he's frozen. Yeah, but whatever. Yeah. That's the least of the things that have gone wrong.

A
The thing of, you've seen the video of him yelling, Jamie, this is crazy. Video. He's like. He's not saying someone says something to him and he yells something back, but it's literally no words. And then he has a big smile on his face.

B
He yells, and then he does that. Whispers like, we're first. Yeah, sure. It's hard to believe it's real. It's hard.

A
It's almost like we're being punked by China. Yeah. Oh, they. Yeah, they're definitely doing that. They're definitely doing that.

B
But it was a bit of a punk. A little bit. A little. Yeah. Minor, worldwide punk that we funded, that we fogga.

A
Yeah. Our tax dollars. I. How about reparations for everybody who got fired for not getting the COVID vaccine? I think everyone should get a fat check.

B
$100,000. That's not a bad idea. That's not even enough. How many people lost their fucking jobs? Dude?

A
People. It's destroyed people. This isn't it. We'll hear this, though. Let me hear what this one is.

B
Donald Trump, when he was commander in chief, refused to visit a cemetery, us cemetery outside of Paris for fallen Americans, soldiers. And he referred to those heroes and I quote, as suckers and losers. He actually said that? Oh, he said that. How dare he say that?

How dare he talk about my son and all of us just like that? What? How dare you? Sweet old man, though. Yeah.

A
Is that how his son died? Why is he saying his son? His son. The death of his son changes by the day. It's like, yeah, but what is he saying there?

Is he saying his son died as a military person? Yeah. I don't think he died in war. He mixes it up. Does it say how he died?

He died from cancer. Biden had radiation chemotherapy treatments. Cancer remained stable. May 20, 2015, he was admitted to Walter Reed National Medical center in Bethesda, Maryland, cause of recurrence of brain cancer. He died there ten days later.

Okay, what is, what does that have to do. Why is he saying, how dare they talk about my son? He'll link everything to his. No, no. Exposure to military burn pits in Iraq.

Okay, that makes sense. Okay. Oh, so what did he do? According to his father, Beau was diagnosed with. Say that word.

Ankylosing spondylitis. Delitis. Ankylosing spondylolitis. After returning from service in Kosovo, he was later diagnosed with brain cancers. Father believes is a possible, possibly a consequence of exposure to military burn pits.

Those burn pits? 100% fuck people up. That's so crazy. They did that too. They had soldiers over there and they had all this waste and they just burned it all.

And then. So the wind would just blow it right into the camp. So these soldiers are just breathing in toxic chemical waste?

Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. What the fuck, man? And what was his son doing where son was in Kosovo?

Was his son serving? I think so. Is that what happened?

B
It's amazing how Trump, he looks like. He looks so young and energized compared to Biden now. Yeah, but it's just compared to, just compared to it. He was in Kosovo after 1990. 819 99 Kosovo war, working on behalf of the OSCE to train judges and prosecutors for the local judicial system.

A
2004, became a partner in the law firm of Bittoferado, Gentilode, Biden and Balick, where he worked for two years before being elected attorney general of Delaware. He was nominated. When Joe Biden was nominated for vice president, Beau introduced him. Many delegates wept at his speech, which recounted the auto accident that killed his mother and sister and the subsequent commitment his father made to his sons.

So he was active duty, deployed to Iraq, sent to Fort bliss for pre deployment training. This day, after his father participated in 2008 presidential campaigns, only vice presidential debate. Father was on record saying, I don't want him going. But I'll tell you what, I don't want my grandson or my granddaughters going back in 15 years. So I can't see it all, Jamie, it's cut off.

Oh. So how we leave makes a big difference. Whoa. That didn't age well. So how we leave makes a big difference.

Then you think about what they did in Afghanistan. Hey, man, fuck that job. Fuck. Fuck that job. You literally have to be a crazy person to want that job.

Like, do you imagine wanting the stress of being either the vice president or the president? Brian Regan has a joke about being president. Every morning you wake up, someone's like, problems, sir. Lots and lots of problems. Any of those jobs?

There's no one day where everything's like, fucking. Yeah. Do you think they should have an age cap on the politicians? Well, they got a minimum, right? 35 to run.

If you want to be a fireman, you have to show that you're physically competent. Yeah. You have to complete a physical fitness course. Sure. You have to, you know, because you might be able to have to do things if you are a president.

I think you should have to commit a mental fitness course. Like, they should have to test you with puzzles. They should have to ask you. Yeah. Legitimately.

Like, it sounds stupid, but that's a good way to find out whether someone's brain works. Well, sure. Test people with puzzles and quizzes and ask them questions about history, and they shouldn't be able to prepare for it. I think it should be something that you just, you just announce, today's the day we're gonna pull them into this room and we're gonna film it all and ask him a bunch of questions about all kinds of things. And then let's find out how that guy, how his brain works.

B
I mean, I think Mitch McConnell had two strokes in a very short amount of time. He locks up, whatever that is. I don't think it's a stroke, but he definitely locks up. Like windows 95. Yeah.

A
Yeah. It's not good. It's not good. And he's not stepping down. These people are so old.

They're so old and they shouldn't be doing anything. They certainly shouldn't be running the world for future generations that they are absolutely not going to witness. Mitch McConnell is actually stepping. Oh, he will step down. When did he decide?

Not too long ago. It's just couple months ago. They said, oh, okay, finally. Yeah, 82. But you should have stepped down fucking immediately.

B
He sounds like Mister Magoo and Jimmy storm. I mean, you're Xi Jinping or whatever, watching these politicians just having a good chuckle. I think they. That Ggpeng knows those politicians don't really run jack shit. It's the.

A
You know what? Trump likes to go the deep state. The deep state. Real. It's real.

There's a bunch of people that run the government from. Who are they, though? Well, there's a lot of money. There's heads of immense corporations that have incredible financial control and influence on politicians. This is the reason why lobbyists are some of the richest fucking people in the country.

Like, some of the richest real estate is in Virginia, right outside of DC. And a lot of it's lobbyists. The amount of money that they pour into campaigns and pour into making sure that their agendas are being met and that their businesses get to grow because of regulations or lack of regulations or tariffs or lack of tariffs or whatever the fuck they're trying to do. That's who runs things, really, and makes decisions. And then the politicians keep us embattled in these social squabbles.

You know, it's like when they have. When Kamala Harris had this guy in a dress with a beard come to the White House recently, and she's like, oh, my God, for pride month. Come on in. You're in the White House. Like, that is to accentuate the social squabbling.

It's so people get fired up, yay. Queers are in the White House. And then other people go, what the fuck are queers doing in the White House? It's like that. This is a part of the grand plan to keep people not paying attention to the really important issues and to just constantly.

It's like these. These fucking beach balls they throw up at a concert. They constantly get thrown up. It's working too. Gay marriage, they're gonna take away gay marriage now.

They're gonna take away abortion, they're gonna take away this. Guns, the border, and they just keep throwing these things in the air. So you're just like, looking left and right and looking left and right. And while this is going on, there's all sorts of laws being passed that allow them to look at any computer, any laptop, any. Any phone.

They're gonna be able to bypass encryption with AI. I was just watching a video where a security expert was talking about that. He was talking about, what's that guy's name? Rob Braxman. He was talking about how AI in your operating system, like, once they get AI in your operating system, all this stuff like signal and WhatsApp encrypted, end to end encrypted devices.

That's nonsense. It's not going to work anymore. It's not going to do anything. They're going to be able to get your information before it's encrypted. As you're typing it, before you send it, everything is going to be transparent.

They'll have access to anything they want, anything you have on any device. It doesn't matter what kind of encryption and what kind of bullshit you're using. All that's out the window. And he was explaining that. Fuck.

B
What about Elon's neuralink chip? Is that. Do you think people are going to have those? Yeah, and they can just go, open up, you know, they don't have to say it. You just think it.

Open up Google. You know that's going to happen. There's going to be versions of that, and it's going to get. We had. What's Nolan's last name?

A
Say it again. Arbach. Arbor. You say it the right way. Arbok.

B
Arba. Arba. He's the first neuralink patient. We had him in the other day, and I think the episode comes today. Yeah, it's out now.

A
Yeah, yeah, it's out now. And, yeah, he's the first guy. Oh, my God. Does he sound like Elon? It's working pretty well.

It's very, very smart. We're gonna be working very well. Very smart. Very interesting person to talk to. Completely paralyzed from the neck down, except for a few movements in his hands.

And, like, he can kind of move a little bit. His spinal cord's not totally severed, but it's very badly damaged from an accident in the river. And now with this neuralink, he can play video games. He can do all kinds of shit. And he said the cursor goes where his eyes go.

The cursor goes exactly where he wants it to go. So he's like, I have a built in aim bot if I'm playing video games, because I could just. I don't miss. He's like, look right at it. I could shoot at things.

Which is pretty wild. And it makes you think, like, okay, well, for soldiers, that's a must. Yeah, you have to give them that. You know, and that's, you know, some of the fighter jets, the new helmets that they have on now are augmented reality helmets. And when they're flying, the jets, as they're looking at a specific spot, that's where the crosshairs go.

So the. The crosshairs are connected to this. We're gonna be doing that with jokes like, you just like, hit the punchline. I think comedy's probably gonna be one of the last places where the actual human experience exists in a pure form. You know, it's one of several reasons why at the mothership we make people put their phones in the bag.

Like, get that out of your head. Yeah, stop looking at that. Just sit down and watch a show. Huge difference. It's a giant difference.

But if we could still have things like that, it'll remind us of what it's like to be a human, you know? I feel like the movies have kind of gone away. Going to the movie theater, I stopped. Well, I stopped during the pandemic because you couldn't go. And then I was like, oh, this is way better.

If you have a nice tv at home and no one's going to interrupt. There's something about that kind of taking a girl on a date, but, oh, yeah, I remember when everybody had to be 6ft apart, you know, two people. In each row, and that's all made up when they found out. Six, he's like, it was out there. I didn't, I didn't make up the rules.

It was out there from the flu. When we didn't even have fucking electricity back then. Well, there's no. It doesn't make sense. It's in the air.

It's a respiratory virus. They've never, ever in the history of human beings been able to contain a respiratory virus. You can't do it. If a respiratory virus gets out to a certain number of people and it starts spreading through certain populations, it's just gonna. And it also has animal reservoirs.

So one of the things they find, it actually can exist in certain animals. In fact, in deer, they tested a bunch of white tailed deer, just wild deer, and a bunch of them tested positive for Covid-19 are we gonna look back at this? That's six. There's still 6ft. Stand 6ft apart at the airport.

B
It's so fucking stupid. It's so stupid. But it was all a thing where people looked for something to make them feel better, right? So even though masks didn't work, even though six foot distancing didn't work, if you were out in public and you knew that Covid was a thing and there wasn't some sort of fake measure that made you at least feel safe, like you have to stand a little bit apart from each other, you have to wear the mask. We're going to be okay if we follow these rules.

A
We took the vaccine we're standing 6ft away, we're wearing a mask. And so all those things, even though none of those things kept you from getting Covid, zero of those things kept you from getting Covid. In fact, there's more evidence now that the more of those shots you take, the more you get Covid. And there's a bunch of different reasons for that. But I'm not a virologist or biologist, but those things at least kept people thinking that they were doing the right thing and that maybe they're gonna be safe instead of just a freak out of a bunch of people with no masks and a wild disease that we've been told is gonna kill everybody.

B
I saw the clip of him saying, you know, masks, they'll make you feel better. And so I thought, okay, that makes sense. No, but he said in that clip, yeah, it's not gonna help. It's not gonna help. And then wear one.

Then people start wearing two. Yeah, he was wearing two. Yeah, you gotta wear two. Then wear a face shield. Then put a fucking diaper over your fucking head.

A
The wear two is just like the woke shit in San Francisco. It never stops. It would go to wear a beekeeper's outfit. It would go further if they let it stay on. I wear two masks now.

I feel more protected. Yeah, wrap yourself in plastic and just stay underwater. It's amazing how that guy can gaslight. It's amazing he does it. And his hands fidget.

B
You can tell with his body language. Oh, he's fucking. I love watching him when he's in Congress, when they're interrogating him. It's a political feed, Ron. It's all misinformation and disinformation.

A
Yeah. Oh, he's well. He's well prepared to gaslight. But how can people still watch him and go, yeah, you know, we did the right thing. Even in that audio that you were talking about when you said, when you make people's lives difficult, they will drop their ideological bullshit and get vaccinated.

B
Fucking worked. He said in, when they were quit, when they were quizzing him on this, when they were asking him about this and confronting him with this, he said, that's not what I meant. Yeah, he's sick. He's like sick. Matt Scott, what could you possibly have meant other than what you said?

A
If you are that guy? Yeah. This is not like a thought experiment. You're hanging out with buddies. Like, imagine if you were a guy, you would tell people, no, that's not what that was.

That was you, the head of the nih, you, the head of our america's coronavirus task force. You're the big guy. You're the one america looks to for the answers. And you're saying that, yeah, shame them. And.

B
But God, did that work, man? That was what I. What I learned from that was how hard it is to stand up for something you believe in. God damn. To go, I'm gonna do this.

And you start to see your friends disappear, your family. I mean, I wasn't allowed home for christmas. I had to sit outside on a porch with half my family outside wearing masks on. And I'm standing on the other side. It's 38 degrees out.

A
Wow. And I'm going, what am I at? Like, the first aids patient here? How do they respond to that? Now?

They apologize? No, no, it's. Well, no, it's just everything's just back. We're just back. We're back open.

B
You know, it's. But that's. Do you think that's just human nature? Like, we're gonna. Yeah, people are cowards.

A
People are cowards. And there's, like, a mass this psychosis that happens. Like, everybody collectively panicked in the face of this fear that we had never experienced before, like a global pandemic in our lifetime. And then people fell apart. Like, that's what happens to people when they get pressured.

There's a lot of people out there that have never really experienced actual pressure in their life. So when something scary like a virus comes into their life, they fold up like a house of cards. They just can't take it. They don't know what the fuck to do. And they don't have any personal sovereignty, so they don't have the ability to go, wait, what?

What is everyone saying? That doesn't make any sense. Why am I going to do that? What are the consequences? What?

How much do we know about pharmaceutical drug companies? Have they ever lied before? Oh, they have. Have they ever been fine? Are the most fines in medical history.

What are these studies like, how long did they take to do these studies? It's 100% effective. What does that mean? How do they define 100% effective? Does that mean if you take it, you definitely won't get Covid?

Because that's what I thought it meant. Do you know what it meant? And 100% effective in stopping death in the vaccine. Robert Kennedy explained this to me. This is his words, not mine.

But if he's right, it's the craziest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. And I think he's right in the placebo group, two people died. I'm gonna do his voice while you talk, if you don't mind. Don't do that. In the placebo group, two people died from COVID In the vaccine group, one person died.

Two is 100% more than one. So it's 100% effective.

Imagine that. Yeah, imagine that kind of math Fauci kind of thing. Nobody really knew. Nobody knew. It's like 100% affected.

So you get people like Rachel Maddow on tv telling you that the virus stops with you, you fuck. You can't get infected. You can't transmit. And then they never even. They had to admit later in european court that they never even tested it for transmission.

It was never tested for transmission. Who hears that and is gonna go, nah, fuck it. So, no, everyone's like, yo, yeah, I get to be the hero. I get to get the shot, and I get to end it. And that's on your fucking instagram.

Yeah, I got vaccinated. And you know what? Fucking fine. But don't shame the people who just made the decision that it's not for me. I never said one negative thing about the vaccine or who got it.

B
And goddamn, dude, even in the, in the stand up scene, I was a far right QAnon. All the fucking things. Horse medicine guy, you know. You know, it's like, listen, man, I. Got it on CNN.

A
I know it. I know it more than anybody. Chris Cuomo would not. You see the Dave Smith dude? Dave Smith, he fucking lit him on fire.

B
God, he lit him on fire on his corpse, that piece of shit. That clip. Actually, I made, I did an impression of you doing an impression of Don Lemon, dude. You meant don't get the vaccine. Can't gonna work.

Don't get the vaccine. You can't take a poop. Don't get the vaccine. Unbelievable that that is on national television and that clip lives on and they get to just get away with it. Well, not only that, him and Chris Cuomo when he's talking about people injecting veterinary medicine and then Chris Cuomo saying ivermectin a dewormer.

A
Like the stupidity in which they were describing on cable television. Like, first of all, you're not injecting anything, you fucking idiot. You're taking a small pill. That's one of the safest drug profiles of any drug in recorded history that's been prescribed to human beings billions of times. And the fact that they had the balls to go on tv and frame it that way.

And then Chris Cuomo with Dave Smith saying, like, this is what we were being told that they were taking. Like, you don't have Google. Like, you just go out on CNN. You spit out what they're telling you. You didn't look at it at all.

B
Even at the same token, even if you wanted to go experiment with an actual. Why don't you get to do that? So you. Everybody has to take this experimental, fucking rushed vaccine that Trump pushed the regulations. Yeah, but you're missing the point.

A
The point is I was already better. That's the dumbest part about. The dumbest part about let him experiment. Let him not experiment. That's not the point.

The point was I got better really. Quick, which is hooray. Yeah. Yeah. But they didn't want that.

So that's when the machine moved. And, you know, they went with this horse dewormer narrative because they were worried that other people were going to start taking ivermectin. I took a bunch of things and I talked about all. I didn't say ivermectin by itself. I said, iv vitamins, monoclonal antibodies, Z pacs.

I said. I literally gave the list of different things. There was some cordostero. What is that stuff called? There was some sort of a steroid that I took, too.

What was the. You were better, like, in two days or something, right? Quick. Quick. Holy shit.

Like, quick, like, how old are you? Gone? 56. God damn. I was working.

I did ten rounds on the bag. Six days later, I was like, let's see what's going on. Cause the only way to really see what's going on is see if I have endurance. Yeah, I did ten rounds on the bag. I was not there five days in.

I did a workout and I tried it. I was like, I feel pretty good. I don't want to, like, relapse. Cause I kept hearing that people would work out too quick and they'd relapse. So I said, let me just go through, like, a decent workout and see how I feel.

If I feel at all drained or tired, I'm pretty in tune, which is, you know, how I knew something was wrong in the first place. I'm pretty tuned in to my body. And then the next day, I said, all right, let's fucking push it. Let's see what's up. And I pushed it.

I felt 100%. I was 100% six days later, and I think I was 100% five days later. I just didn't try. So that was bad for the narrative. Cause the narrative was this thing was super dangerous.

You need to take a vaccine this is the only way through it. And my doctor was saying, no, no, it's not as dangerous as they're saying. Especially someone like you who works out every day and takes vitamins every day and always eats healthy. This is not the thing that's going to get you. He's like, the people that are dying.

What I'm seeing is people with comorbidities. He was explaining everything to me, and he recommended a series of nutrients to take to prepare yourself to, like, to pump up your immune system. And he's like, but there's a bunch of things that you can take if you do get infected, that will help you recover. And that's what I took. And it worked.

Yeah. Think how many people could have perhaps replicated that. They didn't want that. In order to have the emergency use authorization so that they could make sure that everybody gets vaccinated, they had to have no other treatments. That's why they demonized ivermectin.

That's why they demonized hydroxychloroquine. That's why they kept a lot of people from getting monoclonal antibodies. They didn't want any solution other than the one that was going to make them insane of money. And that's what they pushed for. And we went through that.

And the thing is, like, our did we learn? That's the question. Did we learn? I don't think so. I don't know.

B
I don't know. I think a lot of people learned. A lot of people learned, and I think a lot of you learned. I learned, but I almost didn't survive it to go through that. And I had no, I had no bank account.

I had no money. The money I was getting was from comedy club cash. And I had just gotten to the clubs in New York City, and I decided, I'm not. I'm not going. Here's my papers to get in.

I'm not doing it. Not doing it. I fucking performed outside during those shows. I was performing for free outside, outside of comedy clubs. And then once the vaccine, they said, we need your papers.

And I just said, I can't do it. I said, okay, take care. Wow. And to do, how long did you. Go from that to not doing stand up?

A
How many months did you not do standup? Well, I started just doing videos in my living room. I lost my fucking mind. That's the thing is, when I toured, a lot of my fans, you know, went through a similar thing. And so when I meet them after, it's painful because everybody tells me the story.

B
I'm a firefighter. I lost my job. I'm a nurse. I lost my job. I lost my family.

I was isolated. I just met a guy. His daughter killed herself because she couldn't practice her sports. She was locked in her bedroom. It's like, the fucking damage that was done.

And to be able to stay steady during that and go, all right, I'm gonna go through this now without any friends and being labeled this far right crazy person for just saying no thanks to the shot. You can't believe what that does to you. And so I just feel. I feel so. I feel so much for these people that did it and who stuck up to it.

A
Yeah, I do too. And I also feel for the people that got suckered into taking it, and now they have, like, serious consequences, serious health problems, you know, I was ready to get vaccinated. The UFC had allocated a bunch of vaccines for their employees because they were doing shows during the pandemic. We did shows in the height of the pandemic with no crowds. So the UFC has this place called the apex center.

And the apex center is a small arena that the UFC built. And they built it to do, like, the Dana White Tuesday night contender series and a bunch of different other fights that they filmed there. And so we went there, and they said, we've got the vaccine, so you can get vaccinated. We saved one for you if you want to get it. I said, okay, great.

A lot of the UFC employees got it was the Johnson and Johnson vaccine. And so I called up the doctor. Hey, can I get it today? It was, like, the day of the fights. He said, I can't do it today.

You have to come to the clinic. Can you come on Monday? And I said, I can't come on Monday. I got to go back Sunday. I said, but I'll be back in two weeks for the next fights.

We'll do it then. In the time that I left, the vaccine got pulled for blood clots. And I knew two people that had strokes, one guy that I met and another guy who was a friend of a guy that I met, and they told me that they had strokes, like, within five days of getting vaccinated. And I was like, wait, what? And then they were saying, I was reading the news story about it.

They're pulling it because of blood clots. I remember that these guys had. And I'm like, holy shit. And I think I talked to the UFC. I go, hey, man, I don't want to take that.

And, you know, they. One of the guys that I talked to over there was like, I agree with you. Like, you know, I took it. I don't know. I think I feel okay.

But I know a guy. I know a guy. Everybody knew a guy that got fucked up. Everybody knew somebody who got fucked up by it. But it was like, all of a sudden, the genie had come out of the bottle.

Because before that, I was all in. I was not in any way, shape, or form anti vaxxed. But it doesn't make you anti vaxx for not long. My point is, in fact, I was at a. I was having a conversation with one of the scientists that I talked to about this, that I was like, maybe this would be good to get people that are these crazy people that are anti vaccine to, like, wake up and recognize the importance of these things.

This is my mindset back then. And so when that happened, I had decided, like, I'm not taking a chance with this thing. Like, this is too weird. And then I knew another guy who had some sort of a heart problem from the moderna one, allegedly. And then it just got.

It just started getting weirder and weirder. And then when a couple of my friends got Covid, one of the things that happened is my whole family got Covid. And I was like, well, I should probably just get it. And I was like, if I get. I was getting tested every day because we were doing the podcast.

B
Yeah. So the way we would do the podcast to keep everybody safe is all the employees got tested, security got tested. I got tested. Everybody got tested. And a couple of times we had a cancel shows because someone tested positive.

A
And then we all. Everybody had to keep getting tested. We were very diligent about it. But my whole family got it. My kids got it, and they were fine.

Like, they skated through it, like, one day, two days. They felt great. Like, this was early, early days. Like, no vaccine. No one knew what the fuck the treatment was.

My wife got it. She took ivermectin because they were actually prescribing it back then, and her doctor prescribed it back then. This is the early, early days. I didn't get it, but I did feel not good. But I was in the house, man.

I hugged the kids, and they were like, you're gonna get it. I'm like, I'm not gonna get it. I was like, it was a. We were joking around. Cause, like, they weren't even that sick.

And my wife got it worse than them, for sure, but I didn't get it. And I kept working out. I was working out and I remember one day I worked out and I didn't feel good. I was like, man, I feel fucking weak. And I was like, I'm just gonna do, like, use, like, lighter weights and just go through, like, three series of this routine that I do.

Just light and easy. Don't push it. Just get the blood flowing a little bit. And then the next day, I went back to the gym and I did the same thing. I started working.

I was like, I don't fucking feel that good. Like, I still feel a little off. Like, let's just do the same thing nice and light. Just go through the motions, not pushing anything. And then the next day, I went in and I felt fucking great.

I'm like, okay, it's gone. Whatever it was, it's gone. Damn. I tested every day. Never tested positive for it, but my body clearly was fighting something.

Like, there's something going on, and I. Because I'm so in tune with it. I recognized it, and I didn't push. I do have some friends, though, that are meatheads, and they also felt that same thing. And they were doing jujitsu, and they just kept training really hard, and they got real sick because if you get sick while you're broken down from training, like, if you have a really hard, really hard workout, is the whole thing, is it makes your body stronger because it breaks you down and then your body has to build back up again.

B
I gotta have you help. Help build a body here. If you can help me. Son has been working out. We can have you come in.

I do laps in my hot tub, man. That's as much as I do. I don't need much. Well, you should do a little something. You don't have to do anything rigorous.

Actually, I heard you say once, do 100 push ups a day and it'll change your life. And it fucking did. Just. I couldn't do, you know, I did 50. Now I could do a hundred, no problem.

A
Yeah, everything. It's like, you got to build. You got to do what you're willing to do. We got some activity. Yeah, your body needs activity, your body.

So the point is, if you break yourself down from really hard workouts, you will get fucking sick. Sick. Like, the sickest I've ever been is when I got sick because I was working out really hard, because when that happens, then it hits you and you just fucking get wrecked. And I knew a bunch of people that did that, but just gotta be smart. Yeah.

And so, like, a lot of tough guys are not smart because they're just too tough. They're too tough. And they make these decisions. Like, I'll just fucking power through our. Ape brain, our man cave brain.

B
You know? It takes over. It does. But that's also what makes you successful. That stupid part of your brain that can just power through things.

A
That's what makes you get up in the morning. That's what gives you discipline. Yeah. Yeah. But that also can fuck you up.

B
Can fuck you up. Yeah, it can fuck. You have to know. You have to be the general of the army. Yeah.

A
You have to understand what's going on. You can't always just be the soldier. Sometimes you have to be strategic about it. Like, no, no, no. Hold is not the time to attack.

B
Well, you need people you really trust who can tell you the weekend that I just filmed, I've stayed up for three days straight to finish editing it. So I've never done that. And I remember doing it going, this is. I don't know if this is really stupid or really smart, but Biden can die any day, and half of your set is about Biden. The wind could take him out, man.

And so I just did three days, a couple hours of sleep. That's hilarious. But it's like a race to see. If I was supposed to film it in end of August in Chicago, and I go, no, if he dies, this is useless. This three years of honing these fucking.

A
Jokes in, and that's such a crazy mindset. I gotta get it out before the president dies. I gotta beat his funeral. Oh, my God. Do you think.

Do you think that they're gonna put in Gavin Newsom? Oh, that's what I think. God, I keep thinking, like, every day I'm waiting, waiting for the big announcement in the news. He is so repulsive, man. He's repulsive, but he knows how to talk, that's all.

B
And he's attractive, God damn it. He's got that nice hair, hot privilege. Yeah, he's. He's a smooth gaslighter. And he's got that serial killer face, though.

A
Super good at running a state into the ground. He talks like he's rapping. Do you know? He like. Yeah, we're gonna shut down the.

Yeah, well, it scares me. It's very practiced. He's. He's a performer, you know? But that's what half this country wants.

They want someone who's just gonna make them feel good enough to go to work every day. Sure. Well, as their rights get eroded, slowly. But surely, Kamala Harris, that would be interesting even to have her for one day as president. Bro, they've been hiding that lady.

B
That would be interesting. No, no, no. That's when Russia's gonna attack. You know, I got kicked out of a comedy club for doing an impression of her. No.

Yeah. They said it's no longer okay for a straight white guy to do an impression of a retarded hyena. Wow. Yeah. What was the club?

It was, like, a makeshift thing during COVID It was this outdoor thing, and I got thrown out. They go, you're racist. I was, like, making fun of her, and I got thrown to the curb. Wow. Cause I couldn't do the club, so I was unvaccinated.

I hate saying unvaccinated. That makes it sound like the vaccine. It's like being. I didn't get circumcised. I don't like being called uncircumcised.

Yeah. So you can't un something that just is, right. The dick and then the chop dick. Yeah. Yeah.

I hate that. It is weird. You gotta be careful with the way we phrase you're unvaxed. It's like, go, fuck it. I'm just a human with blood.

Regular blood. And you got Fauci juice. Trump fauci juice floating around your body. Warp speed. Juice inside of you, son.

Warp speed. And so, did the joke go over well? Did it get a good laugh? I was just kind of talking about race and stuff and you're a racist. And slow.

The manager came and physically threw me to the curb. And I just remember what the. What is going on? When I started comedy, you know, I started around the time of, like, Sam Ariel and Mark Norman, and I started two years after them, and we were still doing open mics. You'd see Mark Dorman on the Tonight show and then back at the club.

A
Hey, hey. Comedy, all right, you're gay, I'm fat. Praise out lie. Hey. And we would say this crazy as shit, and it made you good.

B
And then suddenly it was like, you can't say this, you can't say that, you can't say that. And it's all made up. It's all made up. It all happened during the Obama administration. It was a wave of it.

A
And, like, Dave Smith has tracked it. It's really interesting. Really describe it. Yeah, he describes, like, when the phrases, all the different catchphrases, that all of it was around 2012. It's like this big ramp up of all these things.

Racism, all these idea transphobia, all this big ramp up of all these issues happened around 2012.

B
I'm transphobic. But that just means because I'm afraid of them, Joe. I've gone out with two by accident. Yeah? Yeah.

I used to do online dating, and you'd show, you know, that they would have good angles. The surgery's getting good, too. And if they're asian, game over. Game over. So I was on a date with a.

It was a black woman. It turned out to be a man. And I had a complete mental breakdown. I ran in the bathroom. I called my friend.

I go, I'm out with a dude, and. And he wants to fuck me. He wants to take me home. Yeah. Yeah.

That happened twice. So did they explain to you that they had. No, no, no. If you're dealing with someone who has a men. I'm not saying all people that I don't even think trans is.

It's all fucking. Just makes you have a seizure. But. But, no, they don't. A lot of them don't tell you.

A
Well, a lot of them feel like. You don't have to tell. I was actually watching a podcast where a comic was arguing that you shouldn't have to tell someone that you're trans if you're dating them, even if you're having sex with them. Hmm. Well, you're gonna find out.

A comic was arguing that when their fucking vagina. And they were doing it in just this woke, compliant way. It wasn't like they had a well thought out point. It was just like, yeah. Why should you have to tell people?

Like, what the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? You should tell people if you have bad credit. You should tell people if you're gonna get involved in a romantic relationship with someone and you owe the government in taxes, you should have to fucking tell people that. Like, I might be in trouble.

I might have to run to Costa Rica. Yeah, you should have to tell people a lot of things. Yeah, well, it's. That. That's the new way.

B
It's. It's just this compliance for all this new shit that didn't exist a couple years ago. Well, that's the thing, is that they want to say that trans women are women, so why should they have to tell you? I think it's transphobic to call somebody trans, because if they're an actual woman, they're just a woman. So why you calling them trans?

You can't transition. If you were born a woman and you feel like a woman, you really want to support people like this. Trans shouldn't be on the fucking table. That's a woman with a dick, though. With the dick.

Yeah. So that's how you say trans woman. The woman with. So let everybody know. Just say woman with a dick.

A dick person? Yeah, a dick holding person. Dick holding person. For now. They might get rid of the dick.

Oh, man. I wonder what that's, that's the thing. I wonder if I've ever really. No, yeah, yeah. They should show the surgery.

You want kids to get involved? They should show the surgery of taking your forearm skin and building a penis. Well, it's hard enough having God given penis. Imagine one built by a bunch of like, arteries. And that one's scary, but that one doesn't take away your vagina.

A
That's the scary one is the penis to a vagina. Or they take it off, they fold it in. Really? You make an opening in your body and then you have to keep it dilated all the time. So you have to shove something up there to make sure it doesn't close up.

Like a fucking ear piercing. Yo, man, yo. One day they're gonna be able to do gene therapy and they're gonna be able to literally transform someone into a woman that's not out, that's not off the table. They're going to be able to do that. And, you know, some animals can do that.

That's one of the funniest things that Alex Jones got called out for the turn of. The frog's gay, but that's a real thing. Atrazine. It's pesticide or an herbicide.

They got it in with these frogs and half of the frogs change their gender. Like, here it is. Atrazine is an herbicide and endocrine disruptor that can harm the sexual development of frogs by altering their hormone cycles. Exposure to atrazine at concentrations as low as 0.1 parts per billion can cause gonadal malformations, including hermaphrodites and males with multiple testes. Atrazine can also chemically castrate male frogs, turning them into females or demasculizing them.

B
And that's kind of happening anyways. In New York City, they were doing it to men. You seriously. I walk around and you see these couples where the female looks like the guy and the man looks more feminine. Men are just being emasculated if they allow it.

If they. But a lot of them are. A lot of them allow it. I was one of those guys because when, when the whole. With the.

When the options are all of these women, when this is the options. I mean, women create the sexual marketplace and men kind of dictate their behavior. Imagine if you and I were left to our own devices with no kind of woman to kind of keep you in check. So men have been adapting things. That's where vikings came from.

Yeah. That's where pirates came from. Yeah. You leave men alone and not have a bunch of women around going, hey, slow the fuck down. Slow down.

A
Then you have battle axes, boats full of savages Storming Villages. Yeah. The capital. Yeah. And so that's the over correction.

That's the overcorrection, is you get these incredibly feminized men, and one of the ways that happens is jobs. Right? So you have a job and you're in this social structure for 8 hours a day. That is very unnatural and weird. And most companies have DEI scores and most companies have all these different requirements and they're openly allowed to discriminate against, especially heterosexual white men.

B
I may know one or two things about that. Yeah. There was a thing that Elon tweeted, I think, today or yesterday in response to one of these things at Disney. One of the guys at Disney, like, openly said, I would never hire a straight white man. Like, I have that on tape.

You know, I have a lawsuit. Well, that's why I'm bringing up. So you and I talked about it in the green room and tell your story. Tell what happened and how this. All this shit fest.

Yeah, it's quite, it's quite a long story. I mean, it. I started when I started comedy and started, I've been doing 20 years, so I've been on tv, tv shows, guest stars, co stars. You never really heard, you know, that's too many white guys. Or, you know, it's getting a little too white.

And then I remember, like, at comedy clubs, you just start to hear people say, you know what? There's too many white guys. Too many fucking white guys. And then it became, it became quite popular to just start to say, there's too many of you guys. So what do you do?

We got to get rid of them. You know, the first time it happened to me, I was invited to do a podcast. So a woman, she was a lesbian, she wanted me to come on and tell the story of being raised by gay men. She goes, I think this will be good to bridge our two fan bases so people can hear it from a straight guy's point of view of what it's like to kind of grow up around. You know, I grew up in gay bars and piano bars and drag shows, and I'm kind of the long term study for what it does to you.

It fucks you up, you know, I started to think maybe I'm gay. Maybe I'm, you know, in college, actually, I was going home to visit my family. I tried kissing a guy just cause I felt like I needed to fit in this shit. Really? It really.

A
How'd that go? Oh, he was like, get the fuck away from me. I remember I was in the car and just going like, fuck, maybe I'm gay. My dad's gay. I got a gay brother.

B
One of my dad's brother's gay. I think my grandfather. It's, you know, shit's genetic. Yeah, sure. And I just lean in and goes, get the fuck away from me.

Cause I just wanted to fit in. I wanted something to talk about at Thanksgiving dinner, right? I wanted to be the gay, you know? Yeah. And so peer pressure.

Peer pressure. This girl invited me on to talk about this, and she was a friend. She texts me and she goes, I think this was after the George Floyd thing, maybe. And she goes, I can't have a straight white guy on anymore. And I remember just going like, what the fuck?

You can't have me on just cause my skin color. What changed? It was the. During the BLM stuff, that stuff really ramped up. It became kind of, I think, celebratory to go, fuck white people.

Fucking white women. White, you know? Right. I think it became normalized a little way too. Any amount is too much.

But it became celebrated in a way. And so that happened. And then it happened. Another podcast. And then I was.

I had an acting agent who whenever I would do stand, I used to host Mark Norman show hot soup. And all the agents would come, and every eight, you know, every couple months, someone go, why aren't you on SNL? We gotta get you in Hollywood. And I'd go, well, sure. What?

Sign me. Send. You need auditions. And so this guy saw him, and he brought me in. It was the biggest agency at the time.

Abrams, it was called. And I'm waiting around going, what's going on? No auditions. Is SNL coming to check me out? And he any emails?

And he goes, it's too tough out there for white guys. He kind of was like, we're done here. The next day, fires me, removes me right now. The next day, it was soon after, removed me from the roster. I got an email.

Some more time went by, and then another manager scouted me, brought me in. It was called AGI Entertainment, I think. And he goes, dude, you're a killer. He goes, you got an acting resume? He goes, we're gonna get you on.

Curb your enthusiasm. And I was like, okay, maybe this is finally somebody who's got the balls to fight this shit. Months go by, he calls me, and he goes, we hit a snag. He says, we. We don't.

We can't have any more white guys, or we're not hiring white guys, we're not representing white guys. And I. And I just was like, what the fuck is going on? How could you say that? And I go, is it company policy?

And he goes, yeah. So halfway through the conversation, I take my phone out because this happened so many times. I was literally. I was losing my fucking mind. My therapist goes, dude, you got to start recording this.

You have to record this stuff. Cause it was happening every month. I got a commercial campaign. They go, you've been replaced with a black woman. He goes, you're the guy for the job.

It was like a hosting thing where you gotta do impressions. I was perfect for it. They replaced me. So I started being prepared, and I recorded it, and I got it on tape, and I just. What did you get on tape?

What did you say? I got him literally saying, we will not represent white men and its company policy. He said it in plain. It's not. It couldn't be any more clear.

He said, we cannot work with you just cause your skin color. And where were you when you recorded this? Were you in New York? Yeah, I was in New York. So you're allowed to do that?

Yeah, yeah. I didn't even know that. Do you have to tell them that you're recording? No, no. Wow.

A
No. Sitting at my pie. I did, like, a little. Cause I couldn't work because of the vaccine stuff. So I was just locked in my room for two years, making Instagram videos.

B
I mean, I went from zero to a million, over a million followers. Just from. I was doing Fauci every day, doing cameos, going on the radio as Fauci is. Wow. And it was just bizarre.

But did it fucked me up because it's so confusing to have someone go, you are the man for the job. I had a great resume. I mean, I was being considered for big Hollywood roles. I was brought in for a sneaky Pete, Giovanni Rubisi. I was up for that role and making my own films.

And, yeah, it fucked me up. I got really depressed. I lost my mind. And so when you recorded this on tape, what happened after you recorded it on tape? After that, I was too afraid.

Cause when I would tell people about this, they would go, well, whatever. White guys have had it good. I'm going. I just fucking got here but isn't. That one of the things that someone said to you?

A
Like, white guys have had a good run? People say that to me all the. Time, but wasn't that one of the things that one of the agents had said to you? I mean, I don't know if an agent said that, but you were telling. Me that someone said it to you.

B
Comedy. Yeah, comedy clubs. A lot of. Not necessarily clubs, but, like, the independent run shows, there would be, like, no white people allowed shows. What?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was at a club, and I did a spot. Guy goes, you going on the next show?

And I go, yeah. He goes, I didn't know you were in the LGBT player plus two RQR community. And I go, what? He goes, yeah, it's only no straight people allowed. I was like, what the fuck?

What the fuck is going on? And so I. After that, I waited a while. I talked to my thera. I just didn't know what to do because I didn't want that to become a force of its own.

I wanted to have my talent lead the way, which it had always been doing. And it's tough to have people call you, say you're just being a victim or whatever, and it's like, yes, sometimes you're a victim, and you have to fight it to heal from it and to move on from it. And so I thought, if I don't fight this, I'm gonna kill myself. Because it was so. It's so humiliating to have someone go, your skin color is just.

It's just not the time for it. And so I just thought, I'm gonna go for it. And I just put it on instagram. I said, hey, I just got turned down for being white. Any attorneys out there?

And one guy reached out and goes, I'm a discrimination attorney. He goes, this is one of the most clear acts of discrimination I've ever seen. He said, it's so clear cut. And so that was a couple years ago. So it's an ongoing thing.

These things take a long time. And so what are you. You're suing for discrimination? Is that what you're suing for? Yeah.

Yeah. Every. Every race is protected under the civil, you know, civil rights laws. There's no. Isn't that crazy, though, that they would think they're so encaptured by this fucking mind virus that they would think it's okay to be racist to white people?

Not only okay, but, like, celebratory. Yeah. You know, wild. Yeah. And I don't let people fucking do that.

To me, people think I'm just this nice little. I'm a fucking animal. When you grow up in a crazy environment and you survive it, man, it's like, fucking come at me. And I said, I'm gonna. It's a hill I'll die on.

I don't care. I was like, this is war. We are in a full blown culture war. And I would give up everything for it, because I also owe it to people that can't fight for themselves. I had this ten year period where this shit wasn't going on.

I built up my acting chops, my comedy chops, with nobody saying, you can't do that. You can't say that. And so I had this kind of, you know, this. This energy. I go, I have to.

No one's gonna do it for you. You know, I saw Jordan Peterson, you know, fight for that Bill C 16 thing. Yeah. And I go, holy shit. Watching, if it's worth watching, the congressional hearing in Canada where he's explaining, you can't compel speech.

You can't tell somebody. You have to say my pronouns or you go to jail. He's like, this is gonna get out of fucking control. Everything he said came true. Yeah, I had him on at the beginning of that stuff, and I remember people saying to me, like, why do you care about what happens, these obscure moments that happen in these universities?

A
And I had Brett Weinstein on after the evergreen college thing, same kind of thing. And I was saying, like, you don't know. These people are gonna graduate. Do you understand what this is, the future? Like, these attitudes that are being.

These kids are being indoctrinated into these mindsets. They're going to expand, and they're going to be involved in the workplace, and they're going to be involved in politics and culture. This mind virus is going to go everywhere, and you got to say what it is. You got to call it out when you see it. This is kind of crazy.

And obviously, all these years later, I mean, this was like 2016, I guess. So here we are, you know, well. He'S part of the reason I pursued this, Jordan. Cause I just. He's like, you have to tell the truth.

B
That's it. Tell the truth or tell the truth. Or at least. At least don't lie. You know, it's like.

Well, it's like, you can't bloody compel my speech, you know? That's pretty good. Clean your damn room. You know, it's like, finger a cat. Rescue your father from the belly.

It's like, well, you know, it's like, you know, I just developed that one. That's a good one. You know why? Because I was in a little emasculated little he him living in New York, and I would sit in my room and watch his lectures with. My fucking head would explode.

I go, holy. This is all the shit that I think and feel, but I haven't been able to articulate. He's a brilliant guy. And my life. My life changed forever once I heard him say that.

Tell the truth, at least. Don't lie. And my life has changed. That video of him with Kathy Newman, have you seen that? That's amazing.

I watch that every week. Yeah, it's amazing. It's a masterclass in how people will try to bend your word. And he does not Ben hed be like, well, you know, women need to, like, contend in the workplace. So what you're saying is women should just be raped in the break room?

It's like, no, it's like. I'm not saying that it's a funny conversation because it's all that gotcha shit gone wrong, because you're doing it with a skilled person, a skilled linguist, and someone who really understands what he's saying and has a deep understanding of the history of marxist and leninist philosophy and what it leads to, what communism and socialism actually leads to. What you're actually saying is by forcing people to comply, there's only one way. You force people to comply, and that's violence. That is the only way.

A
Ultimately, it will, we're going to put you in jail. What happens if I resist? We're going to kill you. It gets to that. It gets to violence.

We're going to grab you, we're going to hunt you down, we're going to put you in a cage, and then we're going to force everybody else to comply as well. And this is what he's saying. He's like, you cannot go down this path if you do not know where it leads to. You can't think you're being virtuous by standing up for this disenfranchise and imposing this. Especially the gender pronoun thing, which at that point in time, there was 78 different recognized gender pronouns.

Yeah, like, who knows how many there are now? Like, now? It's nuts. Thousands. It's just like, people just make things up.

And that's what's the fun thing about TikTok. China is so clever. Oh, my God, they're so good with TikTok is so good. It's so. They're so smart what they did.

And then to show you these outrageous people over and over again with fake eyelashes, reading stories to kids, just freaking everybody out with a bunch of different, you know, I'm two spirit and I'm this and that, and I'm trans masculine with like, a fucking. The whole thing is just nuts. And then shutting down free speech. I mean, I've been, I've been banned for shut down for three years. They froze my.

B
I was going all my pandemic shit. Oh, they on TikTok, they banned you? What'd you do? They've, well, they don't have to tell you. They don't.

Besides being white boy, I was texting my white. They don't have to tell you. That's part of when you sign up, right? Especially TikTok. And it's a communist chinese.

We are let. It's an act of war living in our pocket. I can't believe it. It's the one I don't use. Well, I was telling you, I changed my name to queer disabled comedian, and suddenly they let me.

I started getting ad offers from TikTok. They just like. And then when I did the bit about where I come out on stage as gay, that was the first video that they let kind of through. Is it because the algorithm led it through? Probably.

A
Did it get reviewed eventually, yeah, it. Just got removed again. I just posted it again. Cause I'm like, fuck you. So I keep posting these things over and over.

You just posted under different names? Yeah, yeah. My youngest daughter's obsessed with the vegan teacher. The vegan teacher's this crazy lady on TikTok that's like this crazy vegan lady, and she keeps getting banned, and so they keep bringing her, she keeps making up new accounts and coming back.

B
So that's what I do on stage. I keep coming up with new identities to see what I can get away with. What is this? Oh, this is his? Yeah.

That's been frozen for three years. Wow. Yeah. And look at the first video. Like, that's how many views all of my videos used to get.

A
3.1 million. Yeah, I was blowing up. Like, I was getting like 1020 thousand followers a day, and then. Wow. Yeah, wow.

B
And that's the difference between a comic selling out a theater and half filling a club. Yeah. You know, that type of exposure. Oh, for sure. Especially comic like you is actually very funny.

A
When you have these messages that come and say that your account's being frozen, they don't give you any reason. Do they say non compliance or community standards? Did say disinformation, hateful behavior. Well, what did they say? But each one is different, you know, I mean, like, each video, when they.

Pulled your account, what did they say? Oh, yeah. Hateful behavior. Hate. My Instagram got pulled, too.

No. Oh, bro, that's when I lost it. When did. That was the only back now, right? It's back.

B
I. By the grace of God, I met somebody outside the comedy cellar, and she goes, can I follow you on Instagram? I said, no. I'm like, they just. They just banned my account.

And that was the only way I was making money, was selling tickets from my Instagram videos and going on the road. And this girl said, I. She goes, I just quit working there. And I said, can they just turn you off? And on she goes, yeah.

I go, can you have my account turned back on? She goes, absolutely. She gave. I gave her my information. She sent it to somebody in Instagram.

They just flipped the switch back on. The next day, I was back. So is it just completely subjective based on what an employee decides that you're offensive? Yes. They have a whole fucking department, and if they go, well, they got two complaints or whatever.

He's being transphobic or raised, whatever the fuck bullshit is going on at the time and that. You can't have that with art. No. Especially not comedy. Especially not comedy.

A
I mean, the whole idea is to push limits, and the whole idea is to, like, walk that crazy line and say wild shit for fun. It's just for fun. These aren't like, like, you can't put them in the same categories as hate speech because no one's trying to be hateful. They're just trying to get laughs. And they're getting laughs oftentimes by saying something that the audience knows they don't mean.

They're saying it because it's funny, not because it's true, not because they want you to think it's true, because it's a ridiculous thing to say, and it's a funny thing to say. And when you hear the audience laugh, that means it worked. It was effective. It doesn't mean you can then put that in print and say that. This is an anti LBGTQ.

B
Who gets to decide? A I to. Who gets to decide? It's like, it'd be like pointing to a random person in the crowd at the mothership going, you get to pick what's hateful and what's not. What comedians exactly, but also like to have random people working at Instagram that get to decide that, or TikTok.

A
They just get to decide that. It's so crazy. And, you know, we know. Well, thank God for Elon Musk and Twitter and X now, whatever. I'm never calling it.

B
I hate that. Well, porn pops every time you. It's kind of crazy. But that was always. No, but I mean, x all.

Every porn site is like xxx. So you type it in and usually a porn site pops up. Well, that's maybe your browsing history. Well, that's talking about a friend of. Mine, but at least on that site, you don't have to worry about that shit.

A
You could. You can get wild. You could do whatever the fuck you want there. I got banned the day or week. He actually, I had his attorney reach out to him personally because I was banned right before he started.

B
And I go, oh, Elon's taken over. They're gonna give me my account back. And, you know, it just didn't happen. And I was doing RFK fundraiser. I was doing stand up with RFK junior and his attorney.

Elon's attorney was there. Oh, wow. And he. And she texted him or something. So pretty cool.

We'll turn it back on. So it's pretty funny. We'll get it right. We're get it going again. So.

A
Well, there's no way he could have known. I mean, there's so. No. There's so many fucking icon about a. Bunch of people that had gotten unfairly banned, including Megan Murphy, who got unfairly banned for saying that a man is never a woman.

They banned her forever. Well, good. Without racist. She's a feminist. That was so crazy.

She was just arguing that trans men or trans women are invading women's spaces and imposing masculine behavior and masculine character. They're acting like men and taking over women's spaces. Well, that was the. Actually the only way to get a movie role for me. I was in that daily wire, lady Ballers, and I thought, how funny that I get kind of canceled for being a white guy.

B
And now the first role. Actually, no, I was in the western with Gina Cron. Oh, the one with cowboy. Yeah, cowboys. I had to kick him in the fucking nuts.

Did you die to beat the shit out of him? That's hilarious. That must have been terrifying. Oh, we fought every day. Yeah.

He almost killed me. There was a scene where fake hit that guy. Not fake. He goes, fucking get me in the nuts. Get.

And he goes. So he had me actually kick him in the nuts. Do you have a cup on? No. And I was like, dude, if you're fucking with me and I do this and you kill me.

This is not. And he's like. He's, like, fucking. And I ran and kicked him in the nuts. We had to do it, like, five times.

A
Oh, my God. That guy is an animal. Oh, he's a savage. He would be like, let's just improvise the fight scenes. I'm like, I'm a lego next to you, dude.

Yeah, he's too wild. He's wild. He's so crazy. And Gina, man, she is a monster. I mean, the stuff she had to do in that film every day.

B
Get fucking killed and raped and beat up. And they found me on Instagram. Wow. I was on my couch, depressed, and I got a DM's. Do you want to interview or audition for the new Gina Carana movie?

A
That's great. And she just. She's suing Disney right now. Yeah. I think she should win.

B
I hope so. I mean, what she did was. I mean, the whole thing is just so. Everyone's so crazy. Everybody gets so nuts.

A
And it happened so fast. It's a wild ride from, like, 2017 on. It's like, once Trump got into office, it was like all the women's marches. Remember those? Yeah.

B
It's where I got pussy. Yeah, but those were like, everybody. There were women. It was just women. Yeah.

A
It wasn't like, what's a woman? No, it's like, there they are. No, women are marching pussy, hats on. There's no wigs. A couple years, this mass wave of confusion just goes through the culture, and everybody's at each other's throats on social media.

I never, like, interact on social media. I just don't do it. You can't. I don't think it's good for you. You can't.

B
Yeah, I've taken the bait a couple times. I mean, you know, it's. If you're just a regular person and then suddenly start blowing up or whatever, and people are calling you all the worst possible names in the world. Like, it's a little alarming at first and you want to defend yourself, but now, I mean, you can't. I think if you wanted to really engage people on actual ideas, you'd have to do it anonymously.

A
I think if you really want to, like, if you want to have honest discussions with people publicly about stuff, you're really better off doing it anonymously, because if you did it anonymously, and I don't have any desire to do this either, but if you do it anonymously, at least you could. There's no personal attacks. No one knows who you are. No one knows anything about you. You could just talk about this issue, you know, whatever the issue is.

Like, AI, whatever it is, whatever it is people are debating online. You could have discussions about it, you know, like people do on, like, four Chan or something like that, or Reddit. Like, you have a fucking crazy fake screen name. No one has to know who you are. And you can talk about things, but if you're a public person, like you are, and you're going like, I see people arguing with people back and forth about the quality of their work, musicians arguing with fans or trolls about whether or not their last album was good, I'm like, what are you doing, man?

You are inviting mental illness into your home. You got a disconnect, disconnect, disconnect. And most people are not disconnected because it is the one form of conflict that they can engage in that doesn't really have consequences unless you say something really crazy and then it goes public. But that's pretty rare. Most people are just attacking people, like, randomly getting out their aggression, just attacking people and engaging in arguments online.

It's like, my God. It's a great distraction, though, to make it in our industry, it takes 100% of your time and effort. I'm in almost 20 years to the point where I can now not worry about feeding myself. Well, you came to my attention because of the video. That's what I found out about you.

And then comics, comics will all have very high praise of you. So that's a nice thing to know. It's a nice thing to know. And so, hey, comedy, that was actually. Mark Norman laughing at your jokes when you were new was like, the first tonight show.

Oh, yeah. And he would just go, ha. So all the comics that became the way to let somebody know you were good, everyone would do the Mark Norman, like, so nobody would actually give a genuine laugh. But if you're, hey, ha ha. You're like, all right.

Someone says, that's a good one. Yeah. Because a lot of times when someone has a really funny joke, I'm always like, ah, that's good. That's good. You know, that's the same thing.

B
Yeah. And you know what I did actually, because I was so afraid to say what I actually thought. I started doing impressions because I would do my joke. My, I would get my real thoughts out through my impressions and people would link it to them. So, like, I'd be talking about feminism, doing Bill Burr, be like, right.

I went out with this girl last night, this fucking cunt, right? She's like, toxic masculinity, right? Fucking brutal, right? I gotta listen to that shit on a fucking Monday. And everybody would erupt and I'd go, oh, my God.

They think that was Bill Burr's thought that was me. Right. And so my whole act became, you know, just doing trump, all sorts of stuff. And I'm pulling back from that a little now that I have some balls, I've grown some balls. But it's still a fun way to do it.

It, it's still a fun way to do it. Yeah, yeah. It's a fun, it's, it's a nice little way that you can sneak things in, you know? Yeah. Do you do it?

Dude, you're pretty good at them. I heard impressions. I have a limited range. The ones that I do, I can do good, but I have a limited range. Have you ever done, have you ever done them on stage?

A
Yeah, I do steal Mike Tyson impression. Cause Mike Tyson yelled at some guy in the audience that he would fuck until he loved him. And I was like, do you have any idea how long that would take? And he would have to decide. He would have to decide if you love me.

B
Oh, yeah, I remember that. I could do Tyson. I could do a few different people. It's so funny when people say it's cheap or stupid. I go, you just did an impression of your mom or the mailman.

Everybody's doing, you know, fuck those people. Yeah, it's funny, it's funny, it's funny. It's funny. If it's good, it's good. If it's not good, you won't laugh.

A
That's it, end of story. This liner. Yeah, thanks. Anybody who says it's cheap is like, there's cheap stuff. We all know cheap stuff, but cheap stuff, that's not impressions.

Some great people do great impressions and it's part of the fun of watching them on stage. Like when Shane does Trump, it's like, it's so good. It's so crazy good. Or he does Conor McGregor. It's like, I haven't heard Conor McGregor.

Yeah, he does Conor McGregor in Roadhouse. It's very funny, but it's just, it's. Fun and the crowd loves it. And you're there to please the crowd. I am one of the crowd.

I love it. Yeah. You know, this idea, this, it's all perpetrated by artists who either can't do the impressions or are under this false idea that there's a way that you're supposed to do comedy. Like, there was an alt way that you were supposed to do comedy where you weren't supposed to try hard. Oh, God.

There was a lot of that. And if you acted things out or you have too much energy, they didn't like you. You were supposed to not try. And you're supposed to just stand there and be kind of monotonous. Yeah, that's why I didn't really.

B
I don't really hang out with comedians, or I am now a little bit. Cause it's a little more comfortable at the mothership. But I didn't like those things getting in my head and then thinking, are these comics judging me in the back or whatever? They probably are. Who cares?

A
No, they are all the ones who do suck. But when you're new, when you're fresh and you're malleable, you know, you need to grow, like, a foundation. Ooh. A lot of people get sucked down that road. They get sucked down that road in life, and not just in comedy, but in pretty much every world, every community.

You get sucked into the ideas of the peers. You want to fit in. You want to be one of them. You got to lift the top. Remember?

Oh, it's like the ideas of your peers. You get sucked into this idea that this is the way I'm supposed to think and behave. This is the way I'm supposed to perform my art. This is supposed to whale. Like, when I first started out, everybody had to be clean.

You had to be a clean comedian? Yeah, because when I started out was the eighties, the lady I started in 88, and that was the time where everybody wanted to get on the Tonight show and everybody wanted to get a sitcom. So you develop this, like, squeaky clean, television friendly act. And if you didn't have a squeaky clean, television friendly act, oh, this fucking idiot. He's just gonna do the road.

You're just gonna be a road act. Damn. And that's what I was. I barely got work in town. Did you ever do Carson or anything?

No, no. I never did any of those talk shows until I became a guest, because I was on a television show like fear factor or something like that. I just sat down and talked to, like, Conan O'Brien, like that kind of thing. But I didn't do stand up on it, first of all, because I didn't like that kind of stand up. I didn't like five minutes.

That drove me nuts. I had done a couple of things, like, I did the MTV half hour comedy hour and a couple of those other tv type shows, but that wasn't. I wanted to be a club comic that's all I wanted to do. I wanted to be a professional club comic. And I remember everybody saying, you're never going to get work.

You're never going to get work. And part of me was like, I don't. I mean, I remember I had this conversation once with this comic, and he was the host of open mic night, and he said, listen, you got to change your act or you're never going to work. And he was a professional, and he was like, doing okay. He's pretty good.

Like a professional. Like a local middle act type guy that had, like, a competent 20 minutes. It was not bad, it wasn't good, but back then, I thought it was really good. Even I was 21. I actually saw him live before I ever got paid to do comedy.

I went to see Dom I rare. And he was one of the opening acts. And when he told me, he was like, you're never gonna get any work. You gotta stop swearing. And I go, but all my favorite comedians are like, andrew dice Clay.

He goes, you're not dice Clay. Not you. I was like, okay, but at one point in time, dice clay. And he's like, look, you don't have to listen, but you're not gonna have a career. And he, like, fucking stormed away and left me feeling like shit.

And then four or five years later, I came back to the club headlining. Cause I was on news radio and the place was sold out. And he said, what do you want me to say? I go tell them you gave me the worst advice that anybody ever gave me. And then tell them all the tv credits that I have that you don't have.

And he just, like, shook his head a little bit and just walked away. Cause he knew it was right. Cause he was still the same guy. He was still trapped. He was still a shitty, mediocre, barely funny act that was passable under the best conditions possible, only.

But, like, you would never repeat his jokes at a party. Nothing he said was ever fun. And I went up and killed. And it was. It was so glorious.

It was fun. And I was sweet. Little dirty. And. But this, like, it was like a lot of the comedians back then, like, the or established guys were actually angry that I had succeeded with a dirty act because I was on television.

Like, I remember one of them saying, I can't believe they gave him a job with fucking Disney. Disney hired him because Disney was where I got my first development deal. And they're like, fucking Disney? Have they ever seen his blowjob jokes? Like, Disney?

B
And I was like, well, that shit's on Disney now. It's come full circle. It's where kids are learning. But back then, it was everybody wanted to be clean, and so there was a lot of peer pressure. So I tried.

A
I tried. I tried to, like, conform my act. I tried to, like, write, like, material that was not me. Can't do it. You know, I was a 21 year old animal who was a kickboxer.

That's all I was doing my whole childhood, from 15 to 21, was me traveling around the country trying to kick people unconscious. And then all of a sudden, I'm in this new environment where everybody's hyper sensitive and everybody wants you to be clean, and everybody wants you to do these jokes. That, to me, were just like, I want to hear wild shit. I like wild shit. Like, I got into comedy cause I saw Kinison.

Yeah, I got into comedy cause I saw I wanna do wild shit. That's what I wanna do. I wanna fucking animal on stage. It's like watching a wild animal, but it's just you just letting your fucking self come out. It's just who I am.

I mean, that's just me being like, what I think is funny. Like, my kind of comedy. You don't have to like it. A lot of people don't. That's okay.

That's what I like. But that's, like, all music, man. You know? Like, there's people that don't like the black keys. I don't understand them because I love them.

So I listen to black keys. I'm like, fuck, yeah. And some people are like, ugh, okay. Just don't watch it. But this is just life.

But when you're in an environment where people are telling you, like, it's an alt environment, and all of your peers and all the people that are so desperately trying to succeed because you've achieved a level of comfort now, so you can look back on it. Cause it's not that long ago where you didn't know if it was gonna work out. And that moment when you're starting out, whether it's comedy or anything, martial arts, fucking everything. I would imagine when you're endeavoring, when you're entering into this, like, crazy world of possibilities, this might not work. What are the odds that it works?

How many comedians who do an open mic night ever become a professional headliner? God damn it. It's not even one out of a thousand, probably. No, it's a nutty number. So if that was your child or a really good friend, you would say, oh, my God, do this.

Like, this is not. It's not gonna work out for you. You're gonna be that 40 year old loser staying on people's couches with no future. Fuck, man, don't do this. So when you're in that environment, like the alt scene, when no one's really quite sure, and then there's a few people that have made it a little bit, and those are the ones that kind of set the standards and they behave that way, and everybody else wants to be like them, and they just want to be liked by everybody else.

Everybody conforms. Everybody becomes, like, this same thing. It's that group identity thing, which is really why things are crumbling right now. You can't have it. There is no, there's no community.

B
Any person that tells me, I'm in a community, you're a child. If your community is not your close friends and your family and you say, you're in a community, you're a child. There isn't. There's no comedy community. There are a bunch of them.

They're little microcosms of groups of people. Yeah, but once you have said, this is our group identity, like, this is what white men are, this is what black women are, it's. Well, one of the nice things about the club is that when we hired Adam Egitt to take over and be the talent quarter, one of the things we were real clear, because he was experiencing a lot of pressure in LA. Like, he'd get pressure, like, why don't you have more women on the lineup? Why don't you have more this in the lineup?

A
How come you don't have any gay people? How come you know this? I said, listen, man, this is going to be, this club is going to be 100% a meritocracy. I do not give a fuck about any mandates. I don't give a fuck.

All I care is if you're funny, if you're a funny trans person, you're a funny gay person, you're a funny white guy, you're a funny black lady. Who fucking cares? Are you funny? And if you're funny, you're in. And because of that, look how fucking diverse the lineup.

B
That's what happens. Especially with the people coming up. Up. There's all kinds of different kinds of people from all kinds of different walks of life with totally different styles on stage. There's so many different styles and complete freedom.

A
Complete freedom to try. And Adam is so smart that he'll have these conversations with these people and he'll be like, I see what you're trying to do. You know, you just got to, like, got to hone it in, figure it out. Like, I see you're trying to say it like this, but maybe, like. Like, there's a way to say it that, like, makes the same point, but.

B
It'S not as clunky, so valuable. That doesn't happen in New York. It's like, you're out if you're not doing what we want, and you don't know what they want because it changes so well. It's good for us. It is.

A
It's, like, helping, recruiting tremendously. When I met Adam, I was, like, in shock. I go, this is so foreign to me. A booker who's, like, wants to work with you and will take a risk and invest in your talent. And he was one of Norm macdonald's best friends.

He did a show with norm. The guy knows comedy inside and out. I've known Adam for at least 20 years. At least. I knew Adam when he was working at the tempe improv, back when I would just do the road there.

And I became friends with him then. And then he came to me when I was banned from the comedy store, he came to me, improvised. I was. I left the comedy store in 2007 over that Carl Smith thing. Oh.

And so I told him, I'm like, I'm never coming back. I'm like, I'm gone. You've never gone back? No, I did. I went back in 2014.

B
Okay. But one of the reasons I went back is the guy that was running it was fired. They caught him stealing money. He got fired, and then Adam egit took over. And when Adam took over, adam came to visit me at the improv, and I was performing at the improv, and he's like, I'd really love to have you back at the store.

A
I'm like, dude, I don't know if I could fucking go back there, man. I just, like, I said I was never going back. That the whole thing was so fucked up. He's like, you know, but that guy's gone, and it's different now, and we're trying to bring the comic store back. And so the reason why I did go back, though, was cause Ari Shafir was feeling a special there.

And I had been friends with Ari when Ari was a doorman. I met Ari when Ari was just starting out. He was this young, fresh faced doorman who just abandoned religion really recently. And so he was, like, this young kid, and he was funny, and I became friends with him, and then I started taking him on the road with me. After a couple years of him, you know, like, seeing him perform, I gave him some spots outside of town.

I took him to Denver. He killed. I'm like, God damn. And so I helped, you know, Ari. Like, I brought him in front of all these crowds.

I gave him, like, the kind of advice that I would want someone to give to me. And him performing at the comedy store, having a comedy central special, and doing it at the comedy store, to me was like, like, I have to be there. Yeah. I have to. I have to see that.

I have to be there. I have to support him. I'm so proud of him. I'm so happy. I had to go there.

So I went there the day before, and the day I went, I saw roast battle, and I was like, this is amazing. It was so vibrant and so alive, and the place was packed. We were upstairs, and I was one of the judges. Like, you'd have a judge that gets to judge the roasts. And we had so much fun.

And Jeff ross was hosting it, and it was just the whole thing. The whole thing was just. It was so. It was so vibrant. I was like, this is like a writing exercise.

This is like. I mean, it's a roast battle. Roasts, roast battles are. You're picking on someone. Yes, but it's really just a writing exercise with one specific target.

That's all it is. One topic you stay on. And Brian Moses is an amazing host of that too. He's so good because he's so likable. He's so fun.

And he even makes people hug it out. You know, like, at the end, we're all gonna hug. Like, you know, it's nice. He does a great job of, like, keeping it peaceful and playful. And then I remember being there for that and going, okay, I think I gotta come back.

And then the next day, Ari did a special. It was amazing. I couldn't believe I was like, this is just so crazy to see him filming a special at the comedy store from knowing him for being a doorman. Yeah. You know, and here he is.

B
You see people get so good so fast. Yeah. Because I only know him as a killer. I have no concept of Ari or, you know, any of those guys when they start. Yeah.

A
It's one of the cool things about getting to see someone from the very beginning. You know, when I saw Tony Hinchcliffe, I think he had been doing comedy five or six years when I first met him. Yeah. Now look at him. He's the best.

Tony is the best roaster on planet Earth. There's no one better. And he'll do it off the cuff. He can do it off the cuff better than anybody alive. Yeah, it's so good.

B
You think, oh, this is all pre written. And you go, no, he just picked all this. You know, I watch him at the mothership, dude. He does it in the green room all the time, him and David Lucas. I keep telling them, God damn it, you motherfuckers.

A
Do a show together. The two of them together are magic. It brings out the absolute best in David Lucas. Cause David Lucas goes savage on Tony, and Tony goes savage on, and they're both laughing at each other's lines. So, like, he'll clown Tony, and Tony will be dying laughing like no one gets angry.

And he'll clown David, and David will be dying laughing. Like personal shit, like about the way he looks and dying of diabetes, dying laughing. Imagine that happening with, like, young Gen Z woke people, like, experiencing something. They should have to go to the mothership and sit and watch that and go, look, you can tear somebody down. And it's all fun.

It's just funsies. And one of the things about the mothership that's so important is kill Tony. Because what kill Tony shows everyone is that in 1 minute, all you have the time for is to be. And everything funny is rewarded. You could say outrageous things.

People say outrageous things on Kil Tony all the time. But if you do well in that 1 minute and they give you a big notebook and they say, we're gonna bring you back, and then you get to get a chance to go back, or you get a golden ticket, you get to perform again, or then you become the newest regular. And now guys have careers. Yeah. Cam Patterson has a fucking thriving career.

Hans Kim has a thriving career. William Montgomery, thriving career. David Lucas. These guys are killing it on the road. Killing it.

B
Fuck. I should have moved here five years ago. No, no, no. Perfect time, dude. You're doing great.

A
And then the new special that you just filmed there is coming out. It is? Yeah, yeah. When are you gonna put it out? It's.

B
It'll be out probably tonight. Oh, shit. That's so fast. And it was. It's all election stuff, and I'm not a big fan of themed comedy specials, but it was just like, I don't know, nobody.

A
But why not for now? Well, that's why I changed course. And I saw that Biden thing where he's sitting on the imaginary chair, and I go, I gotta get this out now. The weekend was so fun, man. That room is magical.

It's a great room. I think that building's alive, dude. It feels like it's been there for 20 years. Yeah, it felt like that right away. The building felt like that right away.

That building's been there since 1927. And I have this thought about things that have been around a long time. I think memories get baked into buildings. I really do. Sure.

When I go to the comedy store, every time I go to the comedy store, I have this feeling. You walk in the hallway, you get this feeling like, wow, so much has happened here. There's so many experiences baked into that, even when no one's in that building. I used to like, when we were leaving late at night, you know, we'd be hanging out in the back bar and Mitzi's bar, and we'd be drinking and talking, and everybody's like, all right, time to go home. And we'd go out in the hallway, and you just feel the building.

The building. That building's alive. It wouldn't have been the same if you just built a new construction. It wouldn't have. It would have had that kind of fresh kind of.

We would have made it alive. We would. Eventually. It would have taken a little time. We would.

We brought the right spirit. We brought the spirit of the comedy store to the mother show. You know, we knew what we needed. We knew we needed because we already had it. We had it in LA.

We had that. We had a home base, and that's what we needed here. Like, when we first moved here, I was like, God, we don't have a home base. We had the Vulcan, which is great, but it wasn't set up the way I would set it up. It wasn't ideal.

Like, there was a lot of problems with the dynamics of the. And I was like, it's also not. It's not quite big enough. Like, this isn't ideal. Like, so we started looking for other places.

And then when we found the mothership, when we walk. When I walked into the Ritz theater and looked around, it was like the place was talking to me. Was it just one theatre? What was it? What did it look like when you walked in?

Well, it's been a bunch of things since 1927. It was a pool hall. It was a punk rock club. I guess it was a nudie movie theater at one point in time. I can still feel the vibe, the.

Sexual energy, weird energy in that place. And then from, I think, 2007 on, it was the Alamo Drafthouse. So that's what it used to be. Oh, my God. Yeah.

So it used to be like that. But where was that the whole thing, though? Or is that just what the fat man is now? That's the fat man. So the little boy was always there, too.

That was a smaller theater. So the Alamo Drafthouse had two theaters. One theater that sat, like, 120 people and one theater that sat like, whatever over the seats. We have it set up for 250 people now. So you see how it angles up like that.

So what we did was we right where Jamie's cursor is, we cut the floor. Oh, shit. And so we lifted from all the way back to, like, the second row. We lifted the floor up to that height so it's flat, and then so it doesn't angle downward. So that's the little room, right?

So we lifted the floor up to make it closer to the ceiling. And then we changed the dynamics of the stage. So instead of being like this steep angle, like a movie theater, where everybody has a nice shot at the screen, it's flat like a comedy club. And then we lowered the ceiling, and then so you could see where the balcony is. The ceiling's lower even than the balcony because that was Louie's idea to lower it.

Louie's idea was like, can you lower the ceiling even more? And I'm like, I think we can. And so I brought up New York, New York. Everything's just so fucking low. Yeah, it is.

But it's also Louie because he's not just a comic, he's also a producer. Like, he's done a lot of films and he understands, like, sets, and he deeply understands, like, recording and dynamics. He goes, cover everything with cloth. Like, good muffle all the back. Is that the old.

What was this one? Wow. They're definitely watching something on the screen. So that was, they had one solid balcony back then. Interesting.

Instead of two balconies. That's the fat man, too. Yeah. Crazy. Look at all them back then.

B
Look at them. I found a picture of Henry Rollins there. What? Yeah. Henry Rollins was on stage there in 1983.

A
Look at that. What year is that from? Trying to find out. That's crazy. Over there, watching a talkie there, a colored film.

That's what it looked like back then. Dude. Dude. Isn't that nuts? Yeah.

So it's been there for so long. And it was the queen. It used to be called. Wow. Is that a river in front of it?

What is that? That's a dirt. Oh, man. That's probably before it was paved. Well, they had pavement.

Yeah, they probably didn't pave it yet. And so when we got there, oh, here's another funny story. When we got there, we had to tear some of the stuff off the walls, and a swastika was painted on the brick. Whoopsie daisy. Yeah.

Cause, you know, it used to be a punk rock club. I guess someone painted a swastika on the wall. Jesus, there's a punk show there. There's a punk show. Did I show you that photo of Henry Rollins?

Did I send that to you? I think I did. So we're doing all the construction, and I figured someone would fucking remove the swastika. But it was, like, months before we opened. I go, hey, why is the fucking swastika still here?

And so they go, we'll take it. We'll remove it. So they removed the paint, which made a clear white swastika. I go, hey, retards, get rid of the design. Don't accept.

Because now it's even more obvious. Cause now where all the fucking swastika was. Was sandblasted off in the exact same design. It's cleaner with, you know. But that's what happens when you hire laborers who don't really necessarily know what that fucking thing.

B
They could have sent it to Columbia University. Is that Henry Rollins on stage there? Yeah. Black flag, 1982, Ritz Theater. Yeah.

Holy shit. I sent you one. Did I show you the one? I'll send it to you right now. I got a better photo of it.

A
The better photo was pretty fucking crazy.

Hold on a second. I'll get it here. I know I got it in this little pile. That's 1980, black and white. 1982.

Well, you probably hired black and white. Do it in black and white. It's funny. Things really do feel old timey in black and white. I can't find it.

I give up. But anyway, point is, we have photos in the downstairs before you go on stage. There's those photos of Steve Ray Vaughan. That's him on stage in that club in 83. Damn.

Yeah. So there's, like, this crazy history that's baked into that place. And think about. Just think about the history in the last year you've been open. I know how much has happened in that room.

Well, how much has happened in the Austin comedy scene? The fucking scene has exploded. It's pretty wild. It's just a neat. It's a.

B
It was an empty void that was needed. Cause you go on the coasts and there's great clubs. But that group identity shit. This race can say this and that. It has every night.

You gotta sift through that bullshit shit. Mm hmm. There's also a history of wild comedy here. Because this is where Bill Hicks started. This is where Kinison started.

A
They both started in Texas. And when I had heard about Texas, like, Jeanine Garofalo was out here at one point in Houston, there was a bunch of comics around here in Houston. And I was like, what is going on in Houston? I remember hearing about that when I lived in Boston. Because I lived in Boston.

Comedy store was Mexico. That was the place you had to get to. I remember everybody was like, you gotta get to the comic store. That's where Richard Pryor started. That's where Sam Kinison started.

Dice Clay was there. All these comedians were at the comedy store. Like, you had to get to the comedy store. It was the place then I kept hearing about Houston. And then when I saw Kinison and Hicks, people, like, you know, they came from Houston.

I was like, what? Kinison came from Houston. Like, from Texas. Texas made comedians. Where was he performing, though?

B
What was available? The last stop, laugh Stop and River Oaks was a fucking amazing club. I don't think it's there anymore. I don't think the club's not there anymore because the club moved to a new location. And I think that club went under.

A
But the original place where the laugh stop was, was a great club. Low ceiling, perfect little stage. And then there was also a little side area where they had an open mic that would go to like 02:00 in the morning. Vibrancy scene. Like, really vibrant scene.

And everybody loved to come through Houston and work that club. And when you work that club, you know, you do like, whatever, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, whatever days you do, you would go there and you'd see the open mics and be packed. And the local comics were no idea they were good, man. Local comics were fucking good. Like, you know, you'd get to see these guys like Jimmy Pineapple, these guys, like, you probably never heard of them.

No solid fucking comedians, you know. And Sean Rouse was there at the time, and Ralphie May. There was a lot of comics coming out of that area that I was like, this is nuts, man. I did not know that, like, Houston, like Texas and mostly Houston had this scene and Austin had a bit of a scene, but, you know, a little bit smaller, but nothing was like what it is now. You should have something in the middle of the country.

B
You can't just have comedy on the. On the liberal coast. You need something in them in the middle of the country. I think that has something to do with it. It helps for sanity, for sure, but it also helps that it's run by comics.

A
Like, that club's run by us. It's our club. It's, there's no one else. There's no management. You know, there's no, like, there's no overseer.

There's no executives that are making decisions based on money. Everything's made based on comedy. Yeah, yeah, I know. I know. Some, some places, if they get a couple complaints about a joke, they want you to.

B
I'm not gonna mention where, but I kinda got a little talking too. Like, we got some complaints about this one joke. And I'm thinking, like, who gives a fuck? The joke kills every time. Yeah, they don't get it.

A
They're working against themselves. Yeah. They don't even understand what they're doing. They're literally poisoning their own business with this stupidity. You just gotta, like, let people know you can be free, and you'll have more audience members, and you will get rid of these people that are looking to be offended constantly because it won't be effective.

All that shit only works if people comply. If people don't comply, and then other people go, this is just comedy. Just like when you go to see Quentin Tarantino movies. Nobody's really getting killed. You know, Bob Marley.

Bob Marley never really shot the sheriff. I don't know if you know that. That was not real. Come on. I know.

B
Come on. Crazy. It's comedy. And the problem is these fucking idiots that are running these clubs are giving in to the very thing that's going to kill their business. This has given me, like, a second birth, really, because I hit this wall where kind of, you know, I've developed this act, and then you need to experiment.

A
Yeah. And once I started getting challenged when I would try to, like, veer off and experiment a little, and I'm never gonna bomb. I will end strong. I'm there to entertain the crowd. That's, that's my thing.

B
I'm willing to do crazy shit and experiment, but there, everybody's paying, and they're there, and that, you know, I'm gonna end strong. And so, yeah, that was enough to get my ass to Texas. You could be free here. You could be free here, and you could be free where we are. Like, it's, we've set it up that way.

A
We wanted to be. It's like an actual safe space, you know? For real, like, yeah, but, but safe for everybody, man. Yeah. I mean, you can be whatever the fuck you want, as long as what you're saying is funny.

It's, it's all it is. There's no room for any horseshit, no ideology, no nonsense. It's just, you could have an ideology, but it's just got to be funny. That is funny is palpable there. Or maybe the opposite of that.

B
There's no, like the meritocracy that you set up. You can feel that there you go in there and it's. You're funny or not. Yeah. And you're supporting this very supportive identity politics stuff, which is just killing the business mang the scene everywhere else.

A
Well, it's just bad for some. A business that's about taking risks and saying outrageous things and pushing the envelope. And that's all the greats, all the. Imagine setting up like what a comedy club essentially is in this world, in the world of stand up comedy, a comedy club is a place where you can hone your craft and perform. So you go to clubs, you learn how to do it, then you go to clubs and you make a living doing it.

And then eventually, if you get big enough, then you start branching out into theaters and arenas. So it's literally the gym, it's literally the dojo. It's a place. It's the place where you learn. Imagine having a place where you learn where you can't take chances in a business that's wrapped around taking chances, where all the greats, whether it's Don Rickles, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, all of them, said wild shit.

All of them. And the only way you develop wild shit is by performing it on stage in front of people with freedom, where you get a chance. I just watched the George Carlin documentary. Did you see that? No, it's on HBO or whatever.

B
It is so good. And I'm almost like, man, he almost had more freedom than he's talking about. Seven words. You can't say shit, piss, fuck, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits. The seven words.

Now it's like the 7 million topics. You can't talk about race, gender, gender. But you can, you can, you just have to do it. You can. And if you have a club that has that established, like the mothership, anybody could do it.

A
You don't have to have a big audience. They'll let you do it. Anyone will let you do it, and no one's gonna complain, and then they will come see you again, and then you'll develop, and then the people coming to see you know what you do, and there's no worries. That's how comedy should be done. That's the right way to develop both offensive and non offensive.

B
Acts, sure. You know, some of my favorite acts are not Nate bargatz. He's hilarious. Completely non offensive. Offensive.

A
Hilarious. But that's Nate's act. Yeah, Sebastian, same thing. Great comedians, but that's their thing, and that's great. There's no way to ever want to see a clean person just go, I want to see them do an hour of the filthiest fucking shit.

It would be funny. Sebastian, you know, you gonna get your take on this job. Yeah. I take a girl home the other day. She goes, and I give you a rim job.

B
I go, she starts pecking at me like a baby bird. I go, I don't want my girlfriend to have the same lingo as my mechanic. Right? What, are you gonna start tweaking my nipples? Right.

Give me a. I just wanna see him fucking get Seinfeld. Yeah. Talking about fucking trans stuff and all that. Well, even Seinfeld's pushing back on all this woke shit.

Well, he's getting protest. Have you seen the protests? Every show. Palestine. It's Palestine protests.

It is, but it's still kinda linked up with, like, we're gonna shut down comedy for our, you know. Cause so he's. He's getting caught up in that stuff. Well, you got a lot of really dumb young people that are very entitled and think they can shut things down because they have a cause. You think they.

A
I mean, do you think they would learn? But they're not going to, and they're gonna keep doing it. And there's. The more attention they get every time they do it. See the stop oil now, people, they just.

They vandalize Stonehenge. What the fuck does Stonehenge have to do with oil? It's. It's an amazing monument that's thousands of years old. And you just sprayed paint all over it because you want people to stop using oil.

B
It's a mental illness. And you're wearing clothes made out of oil, you fucking idiot. Everything you own was shipped on a truck that was used oil. Every fucking thing you eat, every fucking thing in your house. Everything your house is made out of.

A
The electronics on your phone, the wires in your wall. Everything uses plastic, you fucking idiot. Everything uses oil. You're not stopping shit. No.

B
Yeah, a little tomato soup on the Van Gogh. It's always rich kids, too. It's entitled kids. It's posh kids that think that this is the thing that they should be doing with their life. They don't have any purpose.

They're taught that from element now. I mean, for me, it started popping up in college a little bit. These kids, like, age three. Anti racist, baby. That's a real book.

A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My kid, when we were in school, right after the George Floyd thing, they sent an email saying to young kids, like, some of them as young as, like, six and seven, went there saying that it's not enough that you not be racist. You have to be anti racist. They're telling us to kids who don't have any concept of race, they have black friends, indian friends, asian friends. These are friends who's nice to.

Who likes playing the toys that I play with, who likes playing the games that I play. Let's hang out. You know, they don't care. And you're making them focus on this for no fucking reason. It's gonna fuck em up.

So they fired the person at the school, and it became, like, a big lawsuit, but they realized they were getting grifted on. But Jesus fucking Christ, you idiots. Like, how did you not see through? And the parents were freaking out, like, what the fuck are you teaching them? Like, why are you doing this?

Like, why are you introducing all these ideas? Is there a. If there's a problem, let's talk about the problem. There's no fucking problem. This is not an issue at all.

And you're making it an issue to make yourself important. And that's the problem with these positions. When people have these positions of equity and inclusiveness, these people, they have these positions in universities, they have these positions in corporations. It's like, God damn. The whole equity thing that happened overnight.

B
The word equality was switched with equity, the equal outcome. And that's. So you have to force. That's the only way to do it, is to force it. We have to force it.

We have to have this person and this person and this race. But all the identities are becoming infinite now. So it's like, you're gonna okay with Kamala Harris. I mean, they had to discriminate against every other type of person. Cause they said, we're having a black woman.

So they had to discriminate against black men and asian women and everybody. Yeah, well, it's definitely not a meritocracy if you got her. No, no. None of it makes any sense. The whole thing's bonkers, man.

A
It's a fascinating, fascinating time to be alive, but it's good for comedy. Good for comedy. I'm actually playing a DEi officer, a Jedi. He's called justice. Equity inclusion officer.

B
And Adam Carolla has a new cartoon out, Mister Bertram, which he's been. Which he. He pitched that, like, 1015 years ago to Fox, and they said, no. And Daily Wire, who's just like, scooping stuff up, they produced it. I think a lot of that was a response to what we were talking about once.

A
We were saying, you can't make a good comedy movie now. Cause no one will go off. Jeremy saw. You saw that and was like, fuck, dude. They wrote that thing in, like, two weeks.

B
They flew me out to punch it up. We filmed it in, like, three weeks and it was out. That's wild. But this is Mister Bertram. Kyle's in it.

A
MEGyN Kelly's in it. Kelly. It's got a cast, man. Nice. It's got Jay Moore.

Nice. That's my little diversity officer guy. Alonzo. Yeah. I love Alonzo.

Nice. Robert. Yeah, it's a. It's like, you know, it's like a family. It's a fun time to push back.

Yeah, it's a fun time to push back. Things have gone a little bit haywire. But we're gonna be all right for a comedian. Oh, my God. I just wake up and I just look at the headlines.

And one thing that comedy does do is it highlights how ridiculous these things are, and it takes some of the weight off of them. Yeah. It's the only way. Even look with the word woke. Woke used to be a cool thing, and because of comedy, it's foolish.

B
It's now a clown world word. Yeah, it's a clown world word that you can't use on the other side. You can't say, I'm woke because I was like, bah, you fucking idiot. Loser. Yeah, you fucking idiot.

A
So it becomes a pejorative. It becomes something that someone points to. It says, oh, you're infected with the woke mind virus. Like, nah, nah. No one who is woke claims woke.

No, you can't do it. They used to. That's from comedy. That is from it. Just from memes.

It's from the Internet. Yeah, that's what it is, man. Incredible. Well, listen, dude, I'm happy you're here. Hey, thank you.

Very, very funny guy. It's been really fun watching you perform at the club. I appreciate it. You're killing it. Your specials gonna fucking destroy.

I saw some clips. It's really funny. Thanks. Really good building this thing that. That is so needed.

My pleasure. Thanks for joining the channel. Flying out from around the world. Now we're showing up. Yeah, yeah.

It's fun. We're having a good time. Awesome. And we're gonna keep rolling, man. We got more plans.

B
I can't wait. Yeah, we're gonna expand. Get me buff, please. Let's do it. Let's do it.

A
All right, tell everybody your instagram while before they take it down. Tie the fish t y the fish, Fisch. And I'm on tour right now all over the country. What's the website? Tylerfisher.com.

B
and, yeah, specials out now. It's called the election special. And I have a pandemic special, too, that I filmed when I was canceled, kind of illegally. I filmed in a comedy club that wasn't allowed in. Nice.

A
So nice. All right, dude. Well, thank you, brother. Thank you. My pleasure, brother.

Welcome aboard. Thank you. Bye, everybody.

#2168 - Tyler Fischer

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1. Introduction

2. Comedy and Culture

3. Personal Stories

4. Social Media and Society

5. Reflections on Freedom and Culture

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Companies

Books

Guest Name(s):

Content Warnings:

Transcript