Robin Sharma on Living Life on Your Own Terms

Ed Mylett
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This is the Ed Milan show. All right. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Today is going to be awesome. I get a chance to share time with someone who's had a deep impact on my life.

You know, I feel so close to this man, yet we've only been in person together once. It's the most interesting relationship and connection I've had in many, many years with somebody. I love his work, and I have a lot to learn today myself. I told him before we started, this is for everybody else today. But I have some of my own questions as well.

He's got a new book out called the Wealth Money can't buy. And he, I guess I'd call him a thought leader, a humanitarian. I'd also call him just kind, brilliant, and someone that I admire because he has started to live life on his own terms. And that takes a lot of courage when you're as successful as he is. And so, Robin Sharma, welcome back, brother.

It's so good to have you. My brother Ed, you are such a kind soul yourself, and I honor you for inspiring the lives of millions of people. And your humility is so special that I want to acknowledge you for that as well. It's amazing to see you. It's amazing to see you and he's in the, he's in the midst of a tour right now.

He's very, very busy. So I have so many things I want to ask you about, because it's the book itself, about the wealth that money can't buy. The reason it's so profound is about everything we see in our culture now is about the wealth money can buy. And that's become our idol, for the most part, in our culture. And I want to talk about that and pick that apart first.

But first thing I want to cover is, I think, in order to understand what you want in life, you have to understand why you are the way you are. And so one of the things you list in the book is the Penham principle. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly. And if I am, why don't we start today with you explaining to us about us? Because I think that's what this does.

Robin Sharma
Well, you know, Ed, we fall into a human trap, and we think we see the world as it is, but we see the world as we are. Joseph Campbell had this idea of the stained glass window. We all look through our experiences and our programming through a perceptual filter. And so right now, we can see the Pauli crisis and the wars and the challenges and the cost of living crisis. Yet we can also see beauty, and we can see wonder.

We can see opportunity. We can see the chance for service. So the Penham principle, the first form of wealth in the book, these are the five forces that make us, us. That make you, you make me, me, number one. Pete Penham.

Our parents, when we were little kids, our parents taught us how the world worked, and so that early programming stays with us through our lifetime unless we rewire it. Our parents could have said, money doesn't grow on trees. Be reasonable. Don't trust whatever. And we pick up all these programs.

So the p stands for parents. Second e, the e in Pennam, our ecosystem or our environment, we become our environment. You look at the information we allow into our minds, the information diet. It steadily transforms us, upgrades us, or degrades us. The n is our nation.

If you're from a war torn nation, that's going to affect the perceptual filter through which you see the world, the a, our associations, we become, our conversations. Everyone we have met in our lives have left some form of an imprint subconsciously, either positively or negatively, within us. Everyone. So our associations, all it takes is one conversation with someone whose life we want to be living to help us enter a secret universe of possibility. We never knew was there a secret universe of possibility.

Ed Mylett
That's so good. All it takes is one idea to reframe the way we see the world. That's the power of reading, the power of listening to a podcast, the power of a mentor, the power of a mastermind, the power of stripping out the energy vampires and dream stealers from our life. And then the m in the Penham principle, the five forces that shaped us is media. Look at the subtle messaging and the not so subtle messaging we are receiving from influencers, from the media, from advertisers constantly in a torrent.

Robin Sharma
And whether we want to admit it or not, it shapes the way we see the world and shapes the way we feel and shapes the way we show up. Gosh, it's so true. One of the things I like about the way that Robin writes and makes it difficult to interview him because there's so many good points, but he writes very small chapters, and so when you read his work, you're like, that's the question I want to ask him. That's the question. There's so many of them.

Ed Mylett
And he gets right to the point. It's very strategic. I love your writing style, and I love your thinking style. And so I kind of want to build on a progression. But because of the way that I read the book, we're going to skip around, guys.

We're going to kind of just bring you value, but not in any real order or sequence. But once we understand why we are the way we are, there's some simple things you say in there that I think bear repeating and some expansion. So one thing you say is, you say small steps make giant gains. And I think what most people think in life is like, I got to make some major move to change things. But you make the point in the book that, hey, a small step can make a huge difference.

Robin Sharma
Sure, what you do daily, the tiny things are so much more powerful than the big things you might do annually. So I've had a brain tattoo that I've used for years, and it's small. Daily. Seemingly insignificant improvements, when done consistently over time, lead to stunning results. Now we can go more granular on that.

Your day are your life in miniature. And that was one of my intentions today, like, just give a fire hose of value to Ed's global community. Days are your life in miniature. So don't worry about the weeks or the quarters of the years. Focus on this day.

And if you can, get those micro wins and also create perfect moments and also make some steady progress towards your personal Mount Everest, you had a great day. But here's the larger point. The days become weeks, the weeks become months, the months become years. So your days are, your life in miniature is a very key point. And what I would add to that is if you look at a great company, they were built not by revolution.

It wasn't one strategic objective that made apple. It was built by evolution. Those small little optimizations, those opportunities to be a merchant of, wow, those little innovations, the little details, and the same with the human life. How do you build a great human life? Consistency is the mother of mastery.

Little wins, tiny triumphs done consistently over time, all lead you to a life you'll be super proud of at the end. And I think the last thing I'd say about that is that's the power of connecting to your mortality. I think as human beings, we are the great postponers. We will create these wonderful days consistently. We will install great habits, we will dream bigger dreams.

So we become possibilitarians when the kids get older, when we have more time, when there's an ideal period for that, and yet connecting to the shortness of life and your mortality. And you can do that as part of your morning ritual. And I have some tools to share as we move through our time together that will help your viewers and listeners do that. But just keeping your death and the shortness of life front and center is not negative. I think it's hugely inspirational, because then you live to the point.

Ed Mylett
I totally agree with you. I've had some health challenges. My audience knows this last little while. And one of the tremendous blessings of it is a heightened awareness of your mortality, heightened awareness of how blessed you are to be here today. And it causes me, anyway, to be a much more present person, much more inquisitive.

Um, it's brought me, actually, more peace. And one of the things in the book I find myself when I read some of your stuff. Like, I'm talking about it, right? And so I was actually talking to my attorney, of all people, about one of the things you just said. Because of your mortality, sometimes life can end up being a collection of beautiful moments at the end of our life.

I think we're going to reflect on some of the most beautiful moments of our life. And you just referenced it a minute ago, but, I mean, this is going to be awesome. Everybody but you in the book talk about how to become a perfect moment creator. And it is some of the best work I've ever read in personal development in my life. So let's give them that gift.

Robin Sharma
Well, you are. That's great praise and generosity coming from you. So, you know, a lot of people, I've mentored billionaires for over 15 years. I've been in the field 31 years. And a lot of these people are cash rich and their life poor.

And some of the most valuable, if not the most valuable, things in life have very little to do with things. I was blessed a few weeks ago. I had a dinner with my 86 year old father, Ed, and my mother. And we just sat there and we told stories and we laughed, and it almost brings tears to my eyes. But that is worth more than a large stock portfolio and all the gold on the planet.

But our society has enculturated us and hypnotized us and mesmerized us into hustle and grind towards a mountaintop of financial success. And as you know, there's a whole. That's one of the eight forms of wealth in the wealth money camp. So to your point about be a perfect moment creator comes from a true story. Eugene O'Kelly was the global CEO of KPMG, the accounting behemoth.

And one day, he went into his doctor's office waiting for the results of a routine medical. And the doctor returned with an expression you never want to see on your doctor's face when you're waiting for the results of a routine medical. Long story short, the doctor said, you've got 90 days left to live. You have inoperable brain cancer. And sadly, he passed away roughly 90 days after that.

But what he realized is, in all his years as a corporate titan, he had never taken the time to take his wife to lunch. All his years as a global mogul, he had missed Christmas concerts. And in all his years as a financial master, he had never taken long walks in Central Parks park with his best friends. And so what he decided to do is use the strategy and the tools that made him so successful in business, and he applied them to his last 90 days, which I think was gorgeous, brilliant and very wise. And so he reversed engineered his last 90 days.

That was his quest. Let me reverse the last 90 days of my life to make them the greatest 90 days I've ever had. And part of that was, I want to be a perfect moment creator and create these magical, unforgettable, priceless moments with the people who matter most. And that simple idea caused me to take my kids swimming with the dolphins in Mauritius. It caused me to take them to the Mona Lisa at the Louvre, you know, where they were like, daddy, it's such a small painting.

I can't believe it. And if we could only in the midst of our busy days look for ways to create magical and perfect moments, we would start filling our days with a wealth money camp buy. Yeah. So profound. So true.

Ed Mylett
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You and I are blessed to know a lot of people with a lot of money. And you say you call it in the book, you actually call it, like, the Howard Hughes complex almost. And you make two points in the book. I just let you talk about it a little further. I always want to dig a little deeper on this because I'm going to ask you about you, but you say in the book, why does our culture worship a billionaire and not a schoolteacher?

That's a quote right out of the book. And I started to think about that, like, in my family, you know, I'm not a billionaire, but I've become very wealthy, and I have a sister who's a school teacher. But I just think to myself, culturally, most people would probably want to hear more of what I have to say. Yet I don't know, on that perfect moment thing, whether or not she's had a few more than her brother, and if life is a measurement of those perfect moments, I think she may be wealthier than me. And so I don't want to move past this point.

Hustle and grind is great. Everybody building wealth and being poor is no fun. And so getting your family financially independent is an admirable goal. But to get there with none of these moments because I think most people think, don't you, Robin? If I get all this money, I can create more of the moments, because those moments cost money.

But the truth is, most of those moments don't cost money. So just tell them the. How I went on and on there because it so deeply affects me. But, um, talk about the Howard Hughes principle a little bit there, where everyone. An empty house syndrome.

Robin Sharma
Well, one of. One of the chapters. So I want to just give some context. The book is based on eight forms of wealth, and the fifth form of wealth is money. And there's 25 chapters deconstructing exactly how the billionaires do it.

So I don't think either of us are saying that money is not important. Puts food on the family table, allows you to have amazing experiences, allows you to do great things for your loved ones. It allows you to be of service to people in need. So it is one of the eight forms of wealth, but there are other seven other forms of wealth. And you're right.

I think you hit the nail on the head, which is you hear someone introducing someone, and they say, wow, we have an amazing person in the house today. They have just had a liquidity event and exited for a billion dollars. You don't often say here, whoa, we have an amazing host on today. She's a ski instructor that helps little kids fall in love with nature. You don't hear people say, ladies and gentlemen, we have a titan in the room today.

We have a gardener from down the street who doesn't have a lot of financial wealth, but they love their roses, and they keep our community beautiful. Wow. You don't see on the front page of a magazine. Here's who we should pedestal today. It's the firefighter or the police officer who risked their lives to protect our loved ones.

And so I'm not saying we don't celebrate the billionaire you and I both know, the grit, the wisdom, the suffering, the sacrifice, the discipline, the service, et cetera, et cetera, that is required to get to a very high place financially. That's why I think it's important. Celebrate the value creators. We celebrate the entrepreneurs. These are the people who take.

These are, in part, the heroes. What I'm also trying to say in the wealth money can't buy is, may we not forget the gardener, the barista, the taxi driver, and the other heroes who are living rich life. One of the richest people I have ever met was my ski instructor. When I was in my forties, I had this idea to become level one ski instructor. So I hired this person to do it, and I think he was one of the richest people I've ever met.

He had rosy cheeks. We had the best conversations. He would read great literature. He had a wife who adored him, family who cherished him, and he spent his days in the mountains. And he said to me, one day, going up on the chairlift, he said, robin, us ski instructors aren't rich, but we have rich lives.

Ed Mylett
So good. I have a friend here, Robin. I moved to Florida. He's become a friend, and he retired in his, I think it was his early sixties, and he always says, qtr. Ed, qtr, qtr.

And I finally asked him, what is it? He said, quality time remaining. And he said that to me because I had turned 50 and I've had a couple health issues, and he's like, man, do you remember quality time remaining? And I told him, I said, brother, I wish someone said that to me when I was 20. It didn't need to wait till I was 50.

At 20 years old, you ought to be thinking about how much quality time remaining do you have to your point about mortality? You know, how many more Mondays do you have? How many more September's do you get? How many more summers do you have? And to make those qual, that quality time and I, by the way, we both, I'm wealthy.

You've become successful. People that get wealthy create opportunity for other people as well. So it's a form of wealth that you can share. So believe me, financial wealth is awesome, but I don't want to get there without the quality moments. Okay?

This is for you and I. Now, a lot of you may not know this about Robin, but Robin, Robin does very, very well. But in my estimation, financially, Robin could even do better if he decided to pursue that. And one of the things I admire about you, I said early on, I want you to really dig into this, brother, is that you live life on your terms. And so Robin bought an italian farmhouse and just kind of said, this is where I'm going to go do in my life.

I'm going to go have an adventure, which we'll talk about in a minute. But I want to know how you made that decision. Like, at some point, because you could have kept, you still go, but you could have made another that probably cost you a couple million dollars a year. I would figure from the pace you could have been on, the things you could have been doing. So you chose purposely, to some extent, to live it on your terms.

At one point, almost like, that was my dream, but I've reevaluated it, and my dream is still to serve. But I also want these other things. Can you just talk about that decision that you made? And am I right about that? I mean, it had to be a hard decision.

It's what I'm evaluating right now. Like, when do I determine that I need to pivot on my dream a little bit and identify what feels good now, go ahead. I would say joy is your gps. I would say your instinct is so much more powerful than your intellect. Intellect says, let me do all these things to succeed in the world.

Robin Sharma
Here's what's logical. Your instinct is your wisdom. Your instinct will say, ed, it's time to do this. And so for me, I lived in a certain city for over 30 years, and I do believe that the discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of safety. Maybe I should mention that again because I think it might be important for all of us.

The discomfort of growth is always less dangerous than the illusion of safety. And so I had a really nice setup, ed. And yet, one day, about three years ago, my life partner, Elle and I packed up our little Chihuahua, Yorkie, and we hopped on a plane with three suitcases, sold my house, sold a lot of my things, and moved into. Showed up at the Rome airport, by the way, and lost our luggage. And yet we moved into this old farmhouse, totally new culture in Tuscany, didn't know the language.

And I just think life is about an adventure. It's one of the. It's the 7th form of wealth I talk about in the book. Like, if you lost the sparkle in your eyes, if you lost, don't ever lose that childlike heart. I mean, I think worldly success without a joyful heart is fool's gold.

And so we left everything. Because I think growth is important. I think an adventure is important. And to your point about mortality, I have a metric which is, if I'm lucky and I do biohacking and I try to take care of myself, et cetera, I'm very healthy. But if I'm lucky, I'll live 25 more years.

So I have this decision matrix, and I call it my 25 summer question. And so before I make a decision, I say, you know, I have 25 summers left. Is this really very important? And I also, you know, I've been in this field for a long time, and more than ever, I realized that elite performance without deep renewal is an empty victory. And so I think.

I think, you know, we are. You're right. We are in a hustle and grind world. And I think it's like, there's a lot of pressure. Write a lot of books, do a lot of content, build a lot of businesses.

Well, I think it's better to be a minimalist versus a maximalist. And I would rather build one Sistine Chapel ceiling or write one catcher in the Rye or create one moonlight sonata that stands the test of time versus hustle and grinding every day for the rest of my life. And I guess what I'm suggesting is time off is necessary to do your best work, and it also allows you to enjoy the fruits of your laboratory. So, good. You actually call this.

Ed Mylett
You make another suggestion in the book, and by the way, I know when we're listening or watching, you could say, well, I wish I had the financial luxury to sell a house and move to Tuscany. I get that. But what version of that could be yours? What adventure could you go on that doesn't require money. That does require a bold decision.

Maybe that adventure is to actually start a business you've always thought about starting. Maybe it's to write that book or that song or paint that painting or whatever it is. So your version of the adventure, because I think we become very routine. I think we become very habitual, and we're just. We're going to get around to making moments and memories.

And I think folks use today's conversation between Robert and I as a catalyst for you to make the decision that you're going to go on an adventure of some type and just decide you're going to do that. Were you going to say something there, Robin? Because I wanted to ask you about that. I'm happy to say something about it. There's one chapter towards the end of the book called Go Ghost for a year that speaks.

That's where I was going. You just read my mind. Go ghost for a year. Tell him about it. That's where I was going.

Robin Sharma
Yeah. Go, go ghost for a year. I mean, it's your life, and life is short and don't live it on someone else's terms. And it is stunning how powerful every human being is. And the fears you do not face become your limits.

And so go ghost for a year is just a concept, which is take one year and go dark. Leave your phone at home, metaphorically speaking. And if you've always wanted to go to Japan or Medellin or Sweden or Mumbai or Goa, take one year of your life and take the classics and go to that place and learn to meditate and read the beautiful literature and listen to music so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes. And watch the sunsets, just like I watched last night. And pray and journal and get to know who you want to be and reverse engineer, like Eugene Okelley, the last 75 years of your life, and then come back into the world from the wilderness, born anew, powerful and intimate with your gifts and your talents and your values and what you want to stand for and be a force of nature.

And if you can't do it for a year, we all understand, we all have responsibilities. Then do it for six months. If you can't do it for six months, do it for a quarter. Can't do it for a quarter, do it for a month. And if you can't do it for a month, do it for a week or even a day.

But going ghost on a consistent basis is incredibly powerful for becoming the person that you've always wanted to be. Unbelievably true. And everyone, I want you to hear that back. The last part, maybe it can't be here. Maybe it's a weekend, right?

Ed Mylett
Maybe it's a day. Or maybe you start doing it in little increments, but you've got a goal to five years from now, go ghost for a year. I have to tell you, because of some of the health stuff I've been through, I'm sort of in the middle of that ghost year. I'm not posting on social media, doing my podcast, kind of virtually now. I'm not traveling, speaking quite as much.

And I have found myself again already a month and a half into it now, but I feel like in my case, I've sort of sticked my toe in it. I think I need to do it. I think I need a year where I just recalibrate and rest and really do very little at 53. I'm 53 this Saturday. I've worked basically every day of my life for the most part.

Most every day. You know, there were, there's exceptions. There's a vacation here or there, but not that many. And so I love this suggestion, everybody, and I think it's something that you should take very, very seriously. EBay Motors is here for the ride.

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Get your first month free when you go to greenlight.com ed. That's greenlight.com ed to try Greenlight for free. Greenlight.com ed. The other thing he has in the book, he's so detailed, he calls it the virtuoso algorithm. And I'll let you elaborate a little bit on that, and then I'm going to tie that into another thing.

But I told you guys, when I love an author, I read every word of their work. And these are the things in the book that affected me. And that's why I'm asking Robin to share them with you. So what is the virtuoso algorithm? Well, it's a formula for turning your work into your craft.

Robin Sharma
And what I would say is, until your job becomes your mastery, your business will never morph into a movement. And I think one of the greatest opportunities, I think right now, hard work has a bad name. And no one's saying hustle and grind and work 24/7 yet if you look at any great one, any great artist, any great athlete, any great entrepreneur, these people have put in the sweat equity. So it's a deconstruction of how virtuosos do it. But I just wanted to say one thing, Ed, intuitively, this idea of going ghost for a year, I just, as your friend, I think it would be so great for you to do it.

And can I ask you a few questions about this? May I? Yes, of course. If there was any place on the planet you would love to go to for three months or even a year without even thinking about it much, where would you go? I bought a place.

Ed Mylett
I bought an island in Maine. I'd be on my island. I would be there. That's one. That's an easy answer.

I picture myself there, very kind of isolated, a little bit alone. It's big enough, though, that I'm not squeezed into a corner. But I'm blessed that I was able to buy that dream place, but I haven't been able to enjoy it. And aside from that, if I couldn't, I'd be in Tuscany. That'd be the second place I'd go.

I'd be your neighbor. That sounds like a dream to me. I like that. He sent me some videos, you guys, in the morning, where he's in this little village, sipping his coffee at breakfast, and I'm getting on an airplane to go give three speeches that day. Yeah, that looks pretty good over there, brother.

So I think both of those come to mind. Well, first of all, as they say in Italy, we're waiting for you. So I hope you will come, because we are waiting for you, and I hope you do. I mean, I really hope you take a year and, and do all the things you've wanted to do. And if you can bring your family, of course, and bring the book always wanted to read.

Robin Sharma
And it is. You know, there's a japanese novelist, and his name is Murakami, and he actually said something really interesting. He said, when you're not writing your book, your next book is writing itself. And we often forget that time off is necessary for peak creativity. Yeah.

You know, that time in Tuscany or that time on Highland, that's when your best ideas are going to incubate. And so maybe that's one way that I can encourage you to do it, which is it's not only incredible for renewal and spiritual salvation and all those great things, it will be so good for your creativity and taking your game, which is a super high game, but to a whole new level. Thank you. Well, I, I need that encouragement. I think also just give feedback to everybody, too.

Ed Mylett
There's times in your life where I think your soul and your spirit, uh, is screaming at you to do something. Whatever it is, it could be to slow down, it could be to speed up, it could be to contact somebody. And I can say that in my case, my body and my spirit, it's been screaming at me to do this. Not a whisper anymore. Whispered for a while.

Three, four, five years ago, I was whispering, and I ignored the whisper. I heard it. But I'm like, I'll get to you. I'll get to you. I get to you.

And now it's going, now, now. Right. And so I think when it gets to that point and whatever it is in your life, uh, it listen to your intuition, listen to your discernment, um, as a person of faith, it could be the Holy Spirit speaking to you. And so whatever that is to any of you, you know, I'd say. I would say listen to that.

So thank you for that encouragement. And either I'm going to see you there, or you're going to come see me on the island. Um, did you want to add anything, by the way? Just because of the algorithm that we were talking about at all. I want to make sure that we put a loop on that, too.

Robin Sharma
Yeah, I would say about the algorithm, the deconstruction is there in the chapter, and it's shown as a model, so it's hard to speak a lot to it. I would simply say one of the elements of it is focus and live in the age of dramatic distraction. We live in an age where a lot of people are chasing shiny toys that ultimately end up as trivial pursuits and climbing a mountain, only to realize that they're climbing the wrong mountain after it's too late to make a change. So let's not, each of us, let's not fall for broken focus syndrome. And I think it's far wiser to be a minimalist versus a maximalist.

Focus is incredibly important. Quick tactic. The two telephone solution. The two telephone solution. I have one phone, which is fully loaded with all my social and food apps and whatever it is, and then I have a spartan phone, which is only in case of emergency for the few people who need to get to me.

And that's what I have with me most of the time. Time. The two phone solution is very powerful. Wow, that's really good. Yeah, that's important.

Second part in that deconstruction of the virtuoso algorithm is patience. Sounds like a very simple virtue, but it's practiced in the breach. I mean, it took Michelangelo four years to do the fresco on the ceiling of the Sistine chapel and so understanding. It's better to push one masterwork than a thousand mediocrities into the marketplace. It's better to push one masterwork, one great pyramid of Giza, one Eiffel Tower, one catcher in the rye, than a thousand mediocrity.

So patience is a key part of virtuosity. And then practice. You know, we forget, but we want the rewards of world class without doing the things that world class requires. When I think of Kobe Bryant, there was a great video I saw, and he said, you know, I thought when everyone got into the NBA, they would be working really hard at practice. But he realized a lot of people got into the NBA, and that was it.

They reached the mountaintop and they started to coast. And he said, I realized that if I would get up at 330 and do a 04:00 practice, then go home and have something to eat and spend some time with the family, go back later in the morning, do a second practice, go home, do a few more things later in the afternoon, do another practice, a third practice. In a world where they were all doing one or two practices, go home, have some dinner, and then come back and do an evening practice. He said. Within four or five years, I would build an advantage that no one would ever be able to pass.

And I think that's part of being a virtuoso. Could I offer in the spirit of service to all your people around the world, to tactics, please? So the first, it's been helping me a lot, and it's MVP. So speaking of sports heroes, we know MVP is most valuable player in my methodology, and it's meditation, visualization and prayer. And, you know, I've written this book that has launched a movement called the 05:00 a.m., Club.

And for many years I was a member of the 05:00 a.m.. Club. But I have to confess, right now, in front of all your millions of viewers, I'm no longer a member of the 05:00 a.m.. Club. 04:00 a.m.

Is the way to go. And from four to 445, I open the window in the bedroom, I listen to roosters and barking dogs, and for 45 minutes I meditate, I visualize and I pray and what's done for my commitment to my mission, my strength, my focus has just been incredible. Like we're all looking for the tools and the tactics. MVP is so it just, even when you pray for less insecurity, you pray for more energy and stamina. You pray for your parents, you pray for your readers, you pray for the world in this age of just mess.

So MVP is something I just wanted to put out there as part of morning awesome. Unforgettable and awesome. It works so well. Second, my five question morning maximizer. So as part of my journaling, in my morning routine, I asked five questions that my clients have found so valuable, I'll offer them to all your people.

Number one, what am I grateful for? We all know the power of gratitude, the work of people like Sonia Lubomirsky, the preeminent positive psychologist. She knows gratitude is the antidote to fear. It reprograms the negativity bias of the human brain. People are, to use her terms deliberately, gratitude, not like unintentionally grateful.

Second question. I write about a paragraph. I say, where am I winning? So that really trains my brain to focus on the micro improvements, which protects my hope, gives me energy and creates momentum. Third question.

Every morning in my journaling, what will I let go of today. So that's some emotional healing mindset. Isn't everything with my. A great mindset with a toxic heart set doesn't get you very far. So that third question, just a paragraph every morning, what will I let go of today?

Oh, this person hurt me. This person disappointed me. Oh, I was heartbroken. Here. The people you have not forgiven, you're carrying them with you on your back.

That's pretty de energizing. Fourth question. What does my ideal day head look like? Intentions are creative. What does my ideal day ahead look like?

And the fifth question. Fifth question is, what needs to be said at the end? What needs to be said at the end? Which is you fast forward to the last day of your life, and you say, what do I want my family, my friends, my coworkers and neighbors to say about me and how I've lived? That alone connects you to your mortality every morning for the rest of your life.

So you live to the point and you're not busy being busy. That's incredible. So good. Oh, my gosh. Thank you for that.

Ed Mylett
I didn't even ask him for that, you guys. That is so good. There is one part of the book I didn't read because I want to hear the story. So I purposely skipped it because it just intrigued me. I don't even know what the point of it is, but I have to hear this.

So because you've given so much value, I want to hear a story now. So there's a chapter in the book where you say, I think you say, the time my mom took on a motorcycle gang, I literally did not read it because I don't know the point and I don't know the story. But I'm like, I want to ask him this live. It's got to be good enough that he put it in the book. There's got to be some point to it.

So what is that all about? I'm just curious as a friend. Well, my mom is a great hero in my life. And so at one period, a motorcycle gang moved on to my mom and dad's street, and they would park their bikes outside, and they would make all sorts of noise. And my kids were little kids at the time, Colby and Bianca, and they spent a lot of the time at my.

Robin Sharma
At their grandparents house. And so my mom watched this, and my mom is a force, and she said to a neighbor, I'm going to go over and talk to them. And the neighbor was like, do not go over there, please. This is dangerous. These are very dangerous people.

Or we whatever. And my mom said, no, I'm going to go over, because they were driving their motorcycles very fast and all the kids were out on the street playing. And then another neighbor heard about this and came running over and said, please do not go over there. These people are dangerous. Do not go talk to them.

Mum said, no, I must do this. I must protect my grandchildren. So my mom went over to these people and they were all on their motorcycles. Music was playing. They had their leather jackets with all their things and this and that, and she said, look, these are my grandchildren here.

I see you driving your choppers very, very quickly. Would you please not play music so loud? And would you kindly slow down for these little kids? And rather than anything surprising or anything mean, the head of the motorcycle gang paused for a moment, took it all in, and then said, and here's what he said, ed. He goes, your children are our children.

I hear what you're saying. We'll be much more careful and we'll be better neighbors. Wow. And my mom smiled and they said, by the way, if you ever need anything, we are here to help. I don't know what they quite meant by that.

And my mom went inside, she was so happy. They inspired her to such a degree. She baked a whole tray of cookies and walked them over to the motorcycle gang and left chocolate chip cookies for the motorcycle gang. So that was that chapter. That's an awesome story.

Ed Mylett
Why do you think they responded that way? That they were good people or that people sense intent? Like, I wonder. I wonder why I sometimes think, like, people do feel your intention and your spirit more than we give ourselves credit for. Yeah, I think that's true.

Robin Sharma
I think fundamentally, we're all animals. We feel fear and we sense love. And I think secondly, people respond really well to respect. And I think especially people who are sometimes, often not treated with respect. When you treat that person with real respect, it touches them at an incredibly powerful level.

Ed Mylett
Do you think you can be happy or wealthy or have the wealth of happiness or financial abundance? If you don't think you deserve it.

Robin Sharma
Yes, but it won't last.

You'll sabotage it. You'll have what I call a deservability issue. I think our income and our impact always reflects our self identity. And that's why I think a lot of entrepreneurs and financial business builders get to a certain level. Level, and then they do something really silly that tears down the business, tears down their reputation.

And I think it's a deservability issue and often it's subconscious. So they're at war. Their neocortex and their seat of intelligence is, yes, I want the money. And deep inside, they have emotional wounds that I or I don't deserve the money. And these programs, like rich people, are bad, et cetera, et cetera.

And so they're at a war, and ultimately, they can't keep their money. If so, gosh, Robin, every time we talk, I'm just. I'm blown away by how profound, you know, some of the things that are in the book are. But the things that you say as well, and you. You're meticulous, is the way that I think about you.

Ed Mylett
Like when we met the first time, just his cadence, his rhythm. Some guests, when I ask them questions, they've got to kind of process for a long time. Robin knows his own work very, very well. And I think it can almost be intimidating when someone's as sharp as you or as refined as you. So, hey, guys, are you looking for more optimization in your life?

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And I think one of the things that you make the point in the book, and I'd like you to elaborate to, is that it's okay to be sloppy. It's okay. And I think a lot of people don't allow themselves the sloppiness of progress, and that's what stops them. You agree with that? I do.

Robin Sharma
I think there is a difference between being lazy and allowing yourself and giving yourself permission to be sloppy. John Lennon said it really well. He said, time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. And there are days to be running your protocols and your morning routine, and to be optimizing your pre sleep ritual, and to be intermittent fasting and doing your checklist. And there's time to be on Highland and in Tuscany, resting, taking afternoon naps, long nature walks with no schedule, and not doing much, if anything.

And so I think. I think elite performance without some sloppiness, it just. It won't. It won't last. And also, what's the point of building things if you don't enjoy the fruits of your labor?

And I think it's just. I mean, I'm not going to say productivity is not fun. I think it's exhilarating. We are the same species that has created the great monuments, the great masterpieces. Right?

We. I'm happiest when I'm building. Yeah, me too. And yet I'm also right. Would you agree with that?

Ed Mylett
Yes. Yes, yes. Like, and we can get into the dopamine release and. And all that. Well, let's talk about that.

Just. I want to stay on that just for a second. So, yeah, I'm happy as you make two points in the book, and this will be a longer answer than normal, and I want to give you the floor for it. But there's two things in the book that. That just resonate with me that have affected me deeply.

One, you say in the book, find mystery or the mysterious in your work. And then the other thing is, I want you to really talk about this towards the end of the book. You talk about finding a cause that's bigger than yourself. And that's for the last 30 years of my life, I'd say 30 years. What's kept me going supercharged, hungry, wanting to expand and grow, is the mystery of what's to come.

The mystery of the work, and also the cause of serving something bigger than myself, whether that was in my business or what we're doing now, hoping that it serves another human being, but finding something beyond me. Even when I wanted to get wealthy, I didn't really want to get wealthy to have a jet, I wanted to get wealthy so my family was safe. That cause was bigger than me. I didn't want my family to worry about money. And so that's a big wrapper I'm throwing at you right there.

But I believe they're two of the biggest keys in life to wealth. And you have them in the book. I think, taking pride of your work, no matter if you're a grave digger, an astronaut, a taxi driver, is a currency you cannot put a price tag on. You are the only person you get to be with your entire life. Pride.

Robin Sharma
A job well done is the wealth money can't buy, no matter what you do. I'm here in a hotel, you know, and if you're coming in here and whatever you're doing, you're a chef, you're in room service, you're whatever the GM, doing your work with this, with a pursuit of mastery, trying to innovate, trying to be a merchant. Wow. In a world where a lot of people are card carrying members of the cult of mediocrity, you say, I want to be a shining light at this hotel and leave everyone better than I found them. And you get home and you debrief your day, and you do your game charts, and you're like Kobe before going to the final.

Yeah, imagine that. But that's, first of all, how you move through the. Through, through the process. You know, I was recently in London, Ed, and I think a job is only a job if you choose to see it as a job. And so I was going to the airport, and there's this taxi driver, and I came into the hotel.

It was early in the morning, and his cab was sparkling. And I saw him. He was actually polishing the rubber of his tires. And I got into his car, and it was meticulous. And he was such a professional.

Honestly, it was almost like Jean Mach, like Rembrandt. Like his work was the work of Rembrandt. As we went to the hotel, I interviewed him, and I said, like, why do you do what you do? And he shared his values. And he said, I take great pride in my work, and I know the knowledge.

That's the study the taxi drivers do. And then when we got to the airport, he actually said, look, here's what I do before every passenger comes in. And he. He literally had a mobile shampooer. He goes, look, I.

I shampooed the carpet, and then I get, like, a windex or whatever it is, you know, and he wiped down the thing. He goes, this is my job. It puts food on my table. I take great pride in what I do, and I love what I do. So that would be my first reply.

To think, what about someone who says, my job's not important. Every job has dignity. All labor is essential. And the pride you'll feel and the challenge and the wonder and the joyful heart that comes from doing your work as best as you can is a currency. You might not get applause, but it's a currency.

Worth more than having tons of money. It's. You know what it is? It's self respect. And you can't put a price tag on self respect.

Secondly, about. Cause, you know, I've never shared this with you, but my father's father was a priest, and I don't come from a business, family or anything like that. Wow. But I didn't know that. Yeah, I come.

And my dad, one thing he really taught me was about being helpful. And he used to say, when I was growing up, Robin, when you were born and you cried while the world rejoiced, live your life in such a way that when you die, the world cries while you rejoice.

And he. To honor him, he was a family doctor, a community doctor for 54 years. And I said, dad, before retired. Excuse me, after he retired, why did you do that for so long? And he said, because my patients needed me.

And so what I would say is, wow, whatever we do, there is a purpose hidden in whatever we do. It doesn't mean you have to stay with your job if you don't like it. But we can find, we don't need to leave our work and go to a new place to find that sense of cause. You know, the Japanese have a term called in Toku, and it is the japanese word forgiving in secret.

And so every job and every day offers the opportunity to give in secret and to do something for someone who is unexpected. It could be a compliment. It could be, you go to a coffee shop, you can pick up two and give it to the person out front of the hotel. Could be, you know, again, I'm here in a hotel. I did something.

I'm not. I'm no guru. I want to be clear on that. I've got a lot to do, but I made the bed, and towels are in the bathtub, and I'm going to keep because someone's mother or father or brother or sister is coming in here. And so all I'm trying to say is, we can find a cause and a meaning to our life by in Toku, by being a secret gift giver.

And the idea there is do it anonymously whenever possible. You know, don't. Don't give money to a. Get your name on a hospital wing. That might not be a gift.

It could be a trade. But giving with the intention of service and doing it anonymously when you can, it's. It's a great way to fill your life with wealth money can't buy. Yeah. Oh, so profound.

Ed Mylett
That's why I love you so good. If I could, I'd be having dinner with you tonight. And it's my final question. So there's this great part in the book about, you know, well, family is a form of wealth, right? And who you end up with.

And. And so you have this thing called the 10,000 dinner deal. I think this is a great way to kind of end this conversation, because if I could have dinner tonight with Robin, believe me, I would do it. But 10,000 of them is a different story altogether. And such an interesting concept.

So let's finish today with the wealth of family and a loved one, and the 10,000 dinner concept. You guys are going to love this. I saved them something special for last. Absolutely. So the book is based on the eight forms of wealth.

Robin Sharma
Money is the fifth form of wealth. Growth is the first. 2nd is wellness. Third form of wealth is family. You have a happy home, you have a happy life.

So first thing I would say is, your choice of mate is 90% of your joy. You strip out the drama. Amazing what you can achieve. And then I was reading this article, and the top, or one of the top divorce lawyers in the UK, her name is Ayesha Vardegs, was asked, you know, look, you have seen so many divorces. You represent the famous footballers and the entertainment superstars.

Tell us, what is the secret of a great relationship? Because you've seen so many fall apart. And she said, number one, she said, separate bedrooms. And then she said, 10,000 dinners. And the reporter said, 10,000 dinners.

What is this? And she said, well, looks fade, lust can dissolve. But if you can see yourself enjoying 10,000 dinners with this person, keep that person close, because true love is really hard to find. Brian. Oh, my gosh, you guys, this has been a 1 hour conversation.

Ed Mylett
Like last time we were together. Like, this is a masterclass. Like a virtuoso performance. Virtuoso performance. And I feel like that's what we did again today.

I just. There's certain people that their work perfect, you know, profoundly affects me. And as you can all tell, you can tell by my energy level today, Robin's work does that for me. I love you, brother. And I'm so grateful that you exist.

You make a difference in the world. You've made a difference in my world, and I. And I love you. And I'm grateful for you. Your words are so generous.

Robin Sharma
I love you too. You are a man inspiring and serving millions of people. I don't know if you know the impact that you're having around the world, but as I travel, I can tell you you're having a huge impact. I look forward to dinner with you in hopefully in Tuscany sometime soon. If there's ever anything I can do for you.

I am one of those friends who would get on a 03:00 a.m. Plane if you need me anywhere. Even though we don't see each other very often, you know I'm here to help in any way. Likewise, brother. By the way, everyone, I tell you, the wealth money can't buy.

Ed Mylett
It's deep, it's thick of information and thought provoking strategies, and it's an easy read. The unique part about his work is you're going to get an immense amount of information and a very easy and digestible way of getting it. It's not a complicated read yet. He takes complicated things and gives you simple solutions. And so go get the wealth money can't buy.

I'll take you up on dinner soon, brother, when I'm feeling a little bit better and I'm over there in Tuscany. I love you. I love you, too. Thanks so much. All right, everybody, max out.

Everyone share today's episode. God bless you.

This is the Ed and Milan show.

Robin Sharma on Living Life on Your Own Terms

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1: Introduction to the Wealth Money Can't Buy

2: The Power of Incremental Change

3: Living Authentically

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