Navigate the Storms of Life & Success with Dean Graziosi

Ed Mylett
So, hey, guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called growthday. Growthday.com ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet.

It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there, courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. Growthday.com edge your brain needs support and. New Ollie brainy chews are a delightful way to take care of your cognitive health. Made with scientifically backed ingredients like thai ginger, l theanine, and caffeine, brainy chews support healthy brain function and help you find your focus.

Ollie
Stay chill or get energized. Be kind to your mind and get these nootropic chews@ollie.com. dot that's olly.com dot. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Look, Bumble knows youre exhausted by dating all the must not take yourself too seriously. And six one since that matters. And what do I even say other than hey? Well, thats why theyre introducing an all new bumble with exciting features to make compatibility easier, starting the chat better, and dating safer. Theyve changed so you dont have to download the new Bumble now.

Ed Mylett
This is the Ed Miley show. All right, everybody, welcome back to the show. Today is very easy for me. It's a joy because I get a chance to share one of my best friends brilliant mind and incredible heart with you guys. He's been on the show multiple times.

And you guys know I'm pretty judicious about who I have on the show more than one time. And so when someone repeats, that makes me know, and you should know that there's somebody that I just believe makes a huge impact in the world. And so my dear friend that's here today is the co founder of Mastermind.com along with his partner and friend and my friend, Tony Robbins. And he's here to talk today about changing your life, but also an event they have called the game has changed. Live event.

It's a live event. It's called the game has changed. It's June 13 through 15th of 2024. Coming up, and if you're interested in the event, which you should be, just go to Dean and Tony live.com ed. Dean and tonylive.com ed.

And that means Dean Graziosi must be here today. So, Dean, welcome to the show, brother. It's always so good to be here with you. And this is how we get to catch up. I know we're both busy, so we get to catch up on a podcast every two years.

Dean Graziosi
It's fantastic. It's just crazy that when you're. You feel so close to somebody that you very rarely get to see, because we've both been just sort of in these seasons of running in our careers, so. And by the way, that leads me to kind of my first question. We're going to talk about the event quite a bit.

Ed Mylett
And by the way, guys, you get a chance to have an event with Dean and Tony, which, by the way, I know they're not going to do a lot more of these, you know, take advantage of it. Um, we'll talk about the event as we go forward. But these are. If you'd have told me growing up I could get access to a Dean Graziosi or Tony Robinson, just sign up and I'm there. I'd be like, are you kidding me?

I mean, it'd be something. Be an automatic no brainer. And the reason is, Dean is my first question. Tony talks a lot about the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. And when I look at you, I look at someone who, over the years, has gotten a lot better at the art form of fulfillment.

And so many things about social media right now are hustle and grind culture, which you and I know two people hustle and grind more than you and I, but I'm not so sure, so sure that there. I mean, I think there's a lot of success happening, but I don't know how much fulfillment's happening in people's lives. And so if I'd open up with a question, it'd be, what would you say to somebody who feels like they're maybe having some success but they're not fulfilled? What a great question. And kind of why we're leaning down the road of the game has changed, because I think it really has.

Dean Graziosi
Because, you know, success without fulfillment is probably the biggest failure of them. All right, I see. You know, you and I do have a lot of history, Ed, and we have a lot of similar backgrounds. My dad's still alive at 87 years old, and I watched my dad chase a lot of things in his life. And at 87, I watch him.

He's really sad deep down, and I give him love on a regular basis and take care of him. But he's sad because he chased success even though it didn't really come to him, but he missed out on fulfillment. He missed out on being connected. My sister and him haven't talked in 20 years. He didn't talk to his brothers and sisters.

Now, I'm not trying to get on a personal note, but I get to witness with a man who's at 87, who's one of the smartest people I've ever met. My dad and I watch when he talks to me, and he looks in my eyes and he'll tell me he loves me. Now, he never told me as a kid, you know, old school, tough italian guy from the east coast. But he tells me now, and his eyes fill up with water edge. 100% of the times, him and I talk.

Now we're together, you know, at least every week. And I just watched a life without fulfillment, and I get to be Tony Robbins partner. I get to do this for a living. And I get so many. I see so many people chasing success.

And one of the things I want to share is when you're chasing success, especially through a career and a career mindset, we're never taught the art of fulfillment. We're never taught that we could find something with purpose. We never taught that we could be passionate about what we do. We're taught to balance work and. And play, work and life.

Right. We're supposed to say, you know, shut it off at 05:00 how does that work, Ed? Do you walk in the door at 530 and go, okay, honey, I'm leaving at the door? No. And the only reason we're taught that is because most of the time, we're taught to do something we really don't love in a career we really don't like.

And then we're taught to shut it off and be somebody different at home and maybe watch football on a Sunday and have a couple scotches every night to just numb it. Rather than work. Life integration. I think Covid had a big shot in the arm of this is people were realizing, hey, I'm doing okay financially, but I don't like my life. I'm not happy, I'm not fulfilled.

I'm looking around corners, I see somebody at dinner, and they're smiling. I think they got a better life than me because inside I'm miserable. And I think that's. I think that's one of the things you do so well, Ed. And I loved.

Loved listening to every word of your last book. I mean, because I know you so well, like I said. But helping people realize when you can find that balance of a career or a business and working on the best version of you. That's where life is. And I think that's why Tony and I have been screaming from mountaintops, is this is the time, because we don't get a second chance.

And maybe it's because I'm in my fifties, mid fifties, and Tony's in his mid sixties. It's like we just want to shake people and say, don't settle. You can have both. You know what, the thing about what you've been doing, too, which is really teaching people how to take their knowledge and express it, and they can monetize it, but they can also serve people when they do it. And one of the pathways to fulfillment for me, and you can talk about the event as you answer this question, but I'd like you to answer the question directly too, is that I think if you're not feeling fulfilled, perhaps it's that you're not really becoming the fullest expression of yourself, or the expression of yourself that you want to be.

Ed Mylett
And I think so many people, you know, maybe they've got a little bit of money, maybe they don't even have it. They think, well, if I get the money, I'll feel fulfilled, or if I get the relationship, I'll feel fulfilled. What I found as I've gotten older, if I look back at my last 30 years, different things make me happy. But one of them that almost always delivers fulfillment for me is when I feel that I'm expressing the versions of myself that are the most beautiful, that are the most proud, that are the most giving, that are the most generous, and, and even the parts of me that I'm the most afraid to express, I find bring me the most fulfillment in my life. And I wonder if that lack of fulfillment is correlated to a lack of expression of who somebody truly is, what they know, what they feel, what they believe, what they value, what they stand for.

What do you think? Such a good way to frame it. I think you're spot on. I want to ask you something. The american dream, do you think I brought that up?

Dean Graziosi
We had a team meeting, and everybody under 35, we had a meeting with about twelve of us. So I want to ask your opinion on this. I brought up the american dream. I just brought it up. I said, do you think it still exists?

Is it still alive? And what does it mean? And I have to say the people on the team under 35 is like, ah, no, you know, I don't know if the american dream that might be controversial, and people over 50 are like, yeah, that is the thing our parents and grandparents came to this country for or worked hard for. I had never seen something so opposite. And the younger kids on my team, I say, younger kids that are 35, they're like, I don't think you should bring that up.

I was like, wow, is that where we are as a society, that we can't talk about the american dream? Because my definition. I'd love to know yours, Ed. My thought of the american dream, wherever you live in the world, is living into your full potential, like, knowing you're meant for more. Right.

But actually doing something in your power to achieve it. Right. And I think, I don't know how that could have gotten a bad name. Maybe I'm blind or naive to it, but I think what you're saying is, like, a life lived without tapping into that full potential you have, or at least trying, I think is the saddest life ever. And to me, it just looks like, hey, fight for it.

Do whatever it takes. You want to call it the american dream. You want to say you're living into your full potential, whatever it takes. I just know if you. If you leave gas in the tank at the end of your life, right?

I love. I think I watched you say one time, if you had a cell phone at the end of your life and God played you a video of the man you could have been or the woman you could have been, won't that be the most horrific thing on the planet? And, yeah, I do think that's sad. I got to tell you, the version of the american dream, for me, to me, it means freedom, and that's freedom to express yourself, be yourself. And if those things, like, I have a sister who I think is incredibly fulfilled.

Ed Mylett
Andrea, my middle sister, I think all three of my sisters are. But my middle sister, I'll tell you about our dean really quickly. She had lost her vision many years ago. Most people know that she had gone blind. She's diabetic retinopathy, and so she had lost her vision.

And my sister doesn't make a lot of money. She's a christian school teacher. But I think she has a very rich life and a very fulfilled life, particularly now that she can see again and she can teach again. And the reason is, is that she chose something that was the fullest expression of her soul, of her spirit, of what she wanted to be. And to me, the american dreams got conflated the last few years.

And the reason it's a controversial topic is the american dream now appears to be about wealth, affluence, influence materialism, and we've made that the dream. And because that looks like the dream through social media and reality shows and these different things, the controversial part of it is most people believe those things are reserved for a very select group of people, which, in point of fact, may have some validity to it. Not everybody's going to be worth $100 million. Not everybody's going to fly private. And when we've made that the prize, it becomes controversial because not everybody thinks they could get that.

And by the way, the truth is not everybody wants that, but everybody wants to live authentically. Everybody wants freedom to be and express who they are, to create, to build something, to give something. To me, that's the american dream, and I do believe that's alive, but I believe we've conflated what it means. In other words, if it doesn't pay you $5 million a year, that's not the dream. And for some people who are listening to this or watching it, their dream is the material part.

And I think there's a freedom to express it that way as well. But I think a lot of people feel pressured, like, I don't want all these things everybody else wants, but I'm supposed to want them. And now I'm conflicted internally because I don't truly want all the material things, and because I don't truly want it, I'm probably not going to produce it. Because you have to be obsessed with whatever you want in your life, and it's not a real obsession to me. And so to me, what's happened, even to me recently, is like, I've been willing to say, you know what?

Those were my other dreams. I have new dreams now. I've re audited my life and what matters to me now, and it's okay that those things change. Here's the other thing it's okay for in life to change your mind. To say, I used to believe that I no longer do.

They're things I used to teach. I don't teach anymore because I've changed. I get it. And so in my mind, yes, I believe it's alive. I just think the real dream should be the fullest expression of your soul and your heart.

If that dream means you want to live in a cabin in the mountains and explore nature all day long or serve in your church full time or work in a nonprofit or make $100 million or teach something like what we're going to talk about in a minute that you believe is valuable, that can improve other people's lives, like, these are things that I think we need to create a space again in the world that says, what's your dream? Not your parents, not your sisters, not social medias and not even what yours was five years ago. Five years ago. I mean, listen for me and I'll shut up and I'll ask you this. 25 years ago, one of my major dreams would be incredibly wealthy.

To be comfortable, to take care of my family, to be financially independent, to never. My dream was less, to be incredibly wealthy. Better said, I didn't want to be poor. I didn't want to struggle financially. I didn't want to not be there for my family.

Well, now that that's sort of been achieved, it's not really financial success is not a major dream of mine. Contribution is so, hey, guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend Brennan Burchard, who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called growth day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible.

Go to growthday.com ed and check it out. If you've been listening or watching this show for a long time, you know what a big believer in Netsuite I am. I've been talking about them now for years. Netsuite is the number one cloud financial system, bringing accounting, financial management, inventory, HR into one platform and one source of truth. With Netsuite, you reduce it costs because Netsuite lives in the cloud with no hardware required access from anywhere.

You cut the cost of maintaining multiple systems because you've got one unified business management suite. You improve efficiency by bringing all your major business processes into one platform, slashing manual tasks and errors, which is why I've been using them now for five years myself. Over 37,000 other companies have as well. They've made the moves. Do the math.

Now. You'll see profit with Netsuite. By popular demand, Netsuite has extended its one of a kind flexible financing program for a few more weeks. Head to netsuite.com mylet. Netsuite.com mylet.

Netsuite.com mylet. So I get asked all the time, how did I get so much attention on social media in my businesses? Email list, etcetera. I can tell you straight up, it's been constant contact. If you don't know who constant contact is, you need to know about these guys.

Constant contacts. Award winning marketing platform has helped millions of small businesses, mine being one of them, stand out, stay on top of mind and seek big results fast. They've got an easy way to promote your business with powerful tools like email, SMS marketing, social media posting, and they even do events management, what they've done for me in the past as well. You're going to reach new audiences, you're going to grow your customer list big time and communicate more effectively to sell more, raise more and grow fast on social media. So get going and start growing your business today with a free trial@constantcontact.com.

dot just go to constantcontact.com right now. Constant contact, helping the small stand tall. Constantcontact.com dot but speak to that and why you and Tony even came up with this whole program. It's really just taking one level of productivity to another, right? So if you're going to take one level of productivity to another and you're going to get out of a career mindset or a business that you have, that's not fulfilling, it's making the money.

Dean Graziosi
But you don't feel alive. You don't feel you're changing the world. You don't feel like you're growing or contributing, right? Then people want to make a shift. And the reason we love what it is we do when we talk about selling your knowledge, right?

And I'll simplify that here in a minute, is because if the game has truly changed, not the mindset, we still have to tap into our full potential. We still have to see opportunity, not obstacles. We have to focus on what we have, not what we've lost. All those things that you teach so abundantly well. But if you're going to say it's time for me to do something different, that's why Tony and I say explore adding a digital product, an information product to the current business you have, or explore launching that.

Because if the game has changed, let's take inflation, right? Everybody's worried about inflation and gas prices and all the pieces, right? If you think about starting a business, right? Even Warren Buffett said it in his last address to the country, if you're taking a business right now with inflation, the cost of goods, the cost of overhead, the cost of electric, the cost of oil, if you don't have those margins baked in, you're going to get killed. Inflation could hurt you.

Or if you sell information, you sell your life experience. I mean, look what you do with RT, look what you do with this podcast, look what you do with your book. All of that is information and I would bet to say it's probably the best line item on a p and L because there was no cost of goods. You didn't have to air condition it, you didn't have to ship it, you didn't have to store it. But it's the most impactful.

It's actually the thing that lights you up, Ed, more than anything I've ever seen. Watching you on stage, watching you talk about your book to me, watching you, I was at one of your first masterminds ever. I flew to, you know, I flew up with you and Andy and had an amazing time. I watch you come alive by sharing your life experience, an amazing asset that you just earned through life. Right?

So the reason I say that is because inflation could hurt you or it could be a launching pad AI. Everybody is worried about AI, or empowered by AI. AI is going to crush some industries. That's a fact. But it's also going to empower some.

It's a launching pad AI in the self education industry allows you to go faster, quicker, go deeper. Get off the blank page. People want something with purpose. Number one, watching you do what you do, Ed, watching what I get to do and so many others. When you get to share a life experience, a career skill, a problem you went through, and now you're on the other side, or a passion you have, it feels good to help change people's lives.

So it brings purpose. That's number one. It brings passion to your life, that work, life integration. Number two, more people today want to start their own thing because they're sick of having a career mindset where they feel stifled, they feel stuck, they feel in a rut, so they're looking around. And if you're going to look for something, why not find an asset that you already own and learn how to extract it and share it again?

I see your book sitting right there. That amazing book. Could be a book, could be a workshop, could be a community, could be a course, could be the mastermind that you do on a monthly basis. And the reason this industry is at a billion dollars a day right now is because it's not just being fueled by you and me anymore, Ed, and not Tony Robbins and not Brendan Burchard. People are realizing they don't want to go back to school.

They don't want to learn on their own. They just want to find somebody who's already done what it is that they want to do and say, are you willing to sell me that knowledge? So, with all that said, I hope I tied this together. Is entrepreneurship lives in so many of us, especially if they're with you, Ed. If they're listening right now, somebody knows they're either already doing it or they want to.

Secondly, right. Secondly, the purpose it brings and the passion it brings allows work life integration. There's not that, ugh, shut the job off and try to live life. It is life, right? Third, it's one of the fastest growing industries in the world, and each of us have that experience inside of us.

So why Tony and I do an event over three days, we're going to pull back the curtain because we've been doing it collectively for 74 freaking years. Almost 30 for me, 44 for Tony, and just show you that you got this asset. And how do you enter this? With confidence. And the last thing I'll say is, if you have a business right now, adding a digital product to your company is the game changer.

And if it is the game changer, then if you want to start a business, why not start with the digital product? Yeah, I got to tell you, I should know where I read this, but I don't. So, everybody, forgive me, but I was reading something over the weekend that basically said over the next decade, or 250 percent of all humans will be self employed or entrepreneurs, and that over 80% of them, they believe, will have businesses that are somehow digitally based. And so for no other reason, to just look at the trends of the world, you have the next 20, 30, 40 years of your life, you're probably going to end up working for yourself at some point. You're probably going to end up having that business be somewhat driven online or digitally somehow.

Ed Mylett
Now, how all those things manifest themselves and what we see things through and what the devices are and whether we have something in our eye or on our wrist or on a phone, I don't know all of that. But all the trends tell us that you're going to end up in these positions. So why not start to figure out what form of expression best fits you? I'm wondering what you would say to somebody, brother, who says, look, that sounds good. I'm just stuck.

One of the things I think you're the best on the planet at maybe the best is helping people simply get unstuck. They simply move from zero to some miles per hour in their life. And most people are like, hey, you know what? I just got knocked down in the business I was doing. I don't know if I want to get back up or my relationship just ended or you know what?

I'm just not exactly sure where I want to begin, but I'm starting to feel some anxiety. If I don't, I'm going to get left behind. What would you say to somebody who's feeling those things, which I bet is the majority of people listening or watching us. Yeah. You know, the cool part is being partners with Tony Robbins.

Dean Graziosi
Right? I mean, you and I listened to Tony before we were friends with them. We listened to Tony Robbins. Right. And I think that's the balance we, Tony and I, bring to each other, is he really knows how to climb under your skin and get you disturbed with inaction.

Right? I mean, we all have got kicked in the face, right? We all have been knocked down. And I don't want to sound cliche. It's the people who get back up and keep going.

Duh. Right? But getting back up sometimes is hard. Or, you know, the outside world gets so crazy. I mean, this is the craziest political thing I've ever seen in my 55 years of being on this planet.

And all those outside factors can do one of two things. Inspire you to go, I need to take care of my family. I need to take care of me. I need to protect this circle around me, because no matter what happens, my family will be safe. That sounds good in theory, but sometimes it feels like you're trying to push a rope uphill.

You're running against the wind, and you go, what more can I do? And this is a time that I think, Ed, more than ever, is people will sit on their hands and say, let's just see how it goes. The reason Tony and I go live and the reason I'm on your podcast here is like this. Hell, no. This is not a time to sit still.

This is not a time to hope. This is a time you take bold, creative, innovative action to see what's possible. Right? The other thing, it's all scary. Life is scary, right?

I mean, and life is just. Maybe it's. Maybe it's. There's been crazier times in history than where we're at now, but in my time, this seems to be a crazy time. And so welcome to being human if you're a little scared.

And that's one of the reasons I feel like I don't want to just keep talking about the event, Ed. But the reason we're doing this event is less about, hey, come make sure and do this your whole life. More. Come and investigate. If it's not this, then go find something.

But you're going to have to do something different than you're currently doing. If you're not happy. You're gonna have to do something different. If you're not in control of your calendar, you're gonna have to do something different. If someone else is guiding your ship or steering your ship, you're gonna have to do something different.

We just believe this is the industry that could spark that. Well, the biggest thing people need to learn to do, here's what people would know about you, Dean, is look, you see Dean, you go, well, one of the nicest guys in personal development always gives credit to everybody else. You asked Dean a question. Well, Ed, you're the best at it. Well, Tony's the best at it.

Ed Mylett
He never takes credit, he's kind. Here's what you don't know about this dude. I mean, this is a compliment. This dude's a killer. This dude's a killer.

Let me tell you what I mean when I say that. Here's something you're gonna have to all accept. And if you already have at an even deeper level, if you're gonna win, you gotta change your relationship with pain. You gotta do hard thinks and build the habit of doing hard things. And what you wouldn't know about Dean, but I'm going to make him speak to it right now.

This dude leans, his tendency is to drive through the smoke. I tell this story about we used to sponsor Carl Edwards, the NASCAR driver. I said, what's the scariest thing about driving NASCAR? He goes, easy question to answer. When there's an accident in front of you and there's all this smoke and you're going to drive 150 miles an hour through that smoke and you don't know what's on the other side, you could be hitting something head on and you're done.

And he said, I've learned to drive through the smoke. And the people that I know that are ultra successful, they have a different relationship with fear and pain and they drive through the smoke, they do hard things, they build the muscle fibers mentally of doing hard things that other people avoid doing or try to find a way around, a smarter, easier way. And that is not you. You've gotten where you are. And I don't want you to be humble about this because this dude does difficult things.

He does difficult things, quite frankly, like most people do easy things, he just runs towards the smoke. Tell him about that, about you. Don't be humble. I appreciate the kind words. I would have to say it's true because what I realized at a young age is my father not going back to childhood, but my father stressed about all the little things and you know, you don't realize this stuff when you're in it, Ed.

Dean Graziosi
You realize when you look back after 2030 years. But my dad freaked out and stressed about hundred dollar ideas, thousand dollar ideas. And I watched the pain this guy went through. And I remember at a young age just thinking to myself, if I solve, like my dad worries so much about the little things, what if I put that much energy in just the bigger things? And what happens when you're young and you start that way of thinking?

It's honestly a lot easier because I was 1718 young, naive, dumb in some cases, right? So I just ran towards the fire saying, if my dad's going to stress so much about $1,000 deal, what if I did it on 5000 $10,000 deals and the proof is in the pudding? And you know this, Ed, some of your biggest deals that you probably have done in your life had less stress than one of the smaller deals you've done. And what I've done is just program myself to say, how could I go after something bigger, you know, just be honest. I read green lights by McConaughey, right?

Yeah, I get done with that book just like I felt with your book. I got done. I'm like, damn, this is good. I want more. Like, the world needs more McConaughey.

So I had a mutual friend. I got a voice memo over to McConaughey and I told my team, we're going to help this dude build a course through what we do, right? We're going to help build a course. We're going to do a live event and we're going to help get this course in the hands of tens of thousands of people. My team's like, how the heck could we get that done, right?

When I got on the phone with his attorney, working with celebrities is different. You have an agent, you have attorney, you have somebody, and rightfully so. This crazy world, you do one thing off, it could hurt your brand, right? We get done with a meeting, my team gets off and goes, no way this is happening. How do you make that person happy?

That person happy? That person happy? McConaughey is the sweetest man on the planet. You've interviewed him, he's sweetest guy. But my team's like, no way that's happening.

So we get done with this meeting and I go and sit in my team like, what do you guys think? Like, no way in hell. It's never going to happen. How do you satisfy so many people? And I'm like, listen, you guys, that means no one else can do it besides us.

Let's just do whatever it takes. And if we go all the way and it doesn't happen, then I'm going to love the lessons we learned along this journey. And I know it takes years to get up to that, you know, to do an event like that. But it was one of the toughest events on the planet and the most rewarding in my life, and tough in the meaning of just every ad that we did, every, every visual that we did, how to be approved by five different people, how to work, and I would not change one bit of it. Ed I created new friends.

McConaughey became a friend, and we did the largest event in the history of the world. We had two and a half million people on day one. Live like insane what we did. And we put his course in the hands of tens of thousands of people. They all loved it.

They thank them. To this day, people find him on the street and thank him. In fact, the last thing I'll say, I said to McConaughey, what'd you think of the whole experience? And he said, well, I thought you were crazy at first. I thought I'd never do something like this.

I said, well, what do you think now? He said, I realize it's the greatest experience of my life. Cause my whole life I play. He said, my whole life I've played a character that was written by somebody else, directed by somebody else, edited by somebody else. He said, I got to play me.

So when people come up, they don't go, I love the character. They say, thank you. Hey, guys, if you need to hire, you need indeed. You know, in all of my businesses, and I've been blessed to have several of them, I've used indeed now for a number of years. And the main reason I do it is if you're like me, I don't want to waste a bunch of time interviewing people that aren't qualified for the positions that I have.

Ed Mylett
It's one of the hardest jobs in the world, right? Or they are qualified, but they're not interested in making the move at the given time. And so with indeed, you have a thing called instant match, where they match you with quality candidates within 24 hours, and you're in front of people that want the job, that are qualified for it, and that you probably want to hire. I wouldn't go anywhere else. They've delivered great candidates to multiple businesses that I have right now.

So here's what's great, listeners and viewers on my show, you get a $75 sponsored job credit right now to get your jobs more visibility@indeed.com. mylet just go to indeed.com Mylet, which is m y l e t t right now, and you can support our show by saying, you heard about indeed here. That would be great. By the way, indeed.com Mylet terms and conditions apply. You need to hire, you need indeed.

So hey guys, are you looking for more optimization in your life? If you are, try bond charge. Bond charge is a holistic wellness brand. Huge range of evidence based products that help you get more energy, perform better, recover faster. I love their infrared sauna blanket.

It's what I've been using now for a while when I hurt my back. It's the perfect way to detoxify, reduce stress, improve your all well being. It's also very easy to use. You just set it up in like a minute. You can enjoy a 30 to 40 minutes session.

You're going to love it. You'll feel more relaxed, revitalized and less stressed. It's a really good addition to any wellness routine. By the way, all the products are HSA FSA eligible for pre tax savings up to 40%. So go to bondcharge.com and use coupon code Ed to save 15%.

That's boncharge.com and use coupon code Ed to save 15%. These statements and products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. That goes to my point from earlier, brother, which is that you get to play. You see, you're most fulfilled when you're expressing the real you.

And even someone like Matthew McConaughey, who's had all these external accolades, says is the best experience of his life because he got to express him. And that's when we're fulfilled. I really believe probably the most under pursued, under spoken about part of fulfillment in life right now in the personal development industry is the level of fulfillment one feels when they're the fullest expression or the truest expression of themselves and serving people. And if you're looking for a pathway to have a little bit more juice in your life, peace, happiness, fulfillment, I believe that's the place to look. Am I expressing myself, my love, my gift, my knowledge, my information, my feelings to the people around me, to the broader world in a way that fulfills me?

And if you're not, if you're holding these things in, which is what most people do, they hold their feelings, they hold their thoughts, they hold what they believe in. They hold their opinions. They hold their knowledge. I believe you're dying. I believe that's the beginning of a death of our spirit.

And I believe, you know, not to be very, you know, faith based here, but I really believe this. God did not make you, for you to repress your greatness, for you to suppress your expression of you. You're not doing what I believe is God's will in your life. When you suppress your stance, when you suppress your knowledge, when you cheat another human being out of the gift of you helping them. And I always say this, my life changed because my dad got sober, but my dad got sober because somebody helped him get sober.

Another human being said, I can help you. And by the way, what qualified them wasn't they were there, this magnificent, perfect person. What qualified them is they at one time were also an alcoholic and a drug addict, and that's what was qualifying them. So, ironically, the great pain they went through in their life was the qualifier to help other people. Perhaps that what you should be looking at right now, my friend, maybe this pain you've been through somewhere is the pathway for that expression to help other people and to your fulfillment.

So, having said that, failure is a great teacher as well. I've never asked you this, and we're good friends. You ever have a. Is there a major failure you could share if you're being vulnerable? That changed your life, Dean, any personal, professional, a failure where you went.

Yeah, that was one of the hardest times of my life, and thank God for it. From the standpoint of growth, change, learning, whatever it might be. Well, you know, Ed, I could share with you business failures that were the most painful thing that you just think it's over. I know you've been there when you just think you screwed up. I'm not smart enough.

Dean Graziosi
Why did I try to play this big game? You know, I'm from a blue collar small town in the east coast. My dad worked on cars. His father worked on cars. My cousins worked on cars.

And I tried to play a bigger game. And when it failed the first couple of times, I'm like, see, my dad was right, and my cousins were right. I'm not smart enough for this. I don't have a degree. I don't have money.

And that voice is always going to screw with you. And I'll just say, we all know we got two voices inside of us. The one that says, you're meant for more, you can do anything. Go for it. And the other one says, you're a fool.

Why the hell would you try it. You knew. And I don't want to overplay something that you already know, but I just want to say, know that we all have two voices. Mine's still in there. And my voice that knowing I'm meant for more just outweighs the other one.

About 51, 49%. That's it. It's not 100, so that's a fact. So I could tell you about a couple of those failures that were tough. But if I'm going to be really vulnerable.

The hardest experience of my entire life was going through a divorce, hands down, and not the divorce itself. My ex and I agreed years prior that our relationship wasn't working, and we knew it wasn't. But I came from nine divorces. My dad was married five times. My mom four.

Moved a million times. By the time I was 20, I moved 20 times different stepbrothers, step sisters. I had a step grandfather named Leo Rizzo. The guy took me fishing and hunting, bought me a mongoose BMX bike. This guy was so awesome.

Taught me how to pheasant hunt. One day, come home from school, our on the front yard, it's like, no more Leo Rizzo. We're getting thrown out of the house. So I lose my step grandpa, right? I passed him for years.

I'd almost have tears in my eyes when I passed him. Cause he was, like, this massive force in my life for six years and then gone overnight. Right? So I think I held onto all that stuff, Ed, and I didn't realize it. In fact, if you don't mind me being purse.

I know we're talking about business and stuff, but I went through such a tough time going through a divorce, and when I dug in, I just stuffed all that down, all that pain. And what I did is just work my ass off. Excuse my language. I just worked harder than anybody else. And I said, no one's gonna mess with my life.

I will be so financially secure, no one's gonna throw my stuff out. No one's gonna tell me what to do. I'll be in control of my decisions. I'll retire my parents because my mom worked hard. I'm gonna do whatever the freak it takes.

So whenever I failed, I had that big why. So I'm building. I'm telling you all this. Not to brag. Just, I'm building.

I got momentum, life's going good. And now, all of a sudden, we decide to get a divorce. And I think all those childhood things that I tucked into a box and put a lock on it. Somebody asked me what happened. I said the lock came off the box.

And Ed, I went through. I never told another human being. I went through six months of anxiety. I never had anxiety in my life. I was having panic attacks.

I didn't want to get on. I didn't want to get in an elevator. I was popping a Xanax once a week just so I'd have one night a week that I could sleep. I was so fragmented, and I. I'm just sharing this for if anybody has ever gone through this with your work or your career or your life or your relationship, it was so unglued that I thought to myself, wow, you made it to 47 years old, or 45 years old, and all the craziness of your childhood, you're done.

This is it. Like, I was. I was at a point where I didn't think I could come back. Ed, I was like, I couldn't. I was just going through the motions.

And it made me realize my whole life in business, I went after the hard things. If I failed, I'm like, this is what I'm going to learn. The grit, I'll get through it. This one was crippling me. I didn't take the same patterns I had in business.

I didn't apply it to my personal life. And when I did, I started focusing on what could be the solution. I'm going to share one more quick thing, Ed. My brain does visual things, and maybe this is somebody who might be going through it. I felt like my ship was in the bay, but it wasn't the bay I was supposed to be in.

It was an okay bay. It was calm. There was other ships like mine, but I knew I was supposed to be out in the ocean, but between me and the ocean was a storm. This is the crazy stuff my brain was thinking about. And a million times I put my ship in the storm, and it was so brutal that I just turned the ship back.

And one day I said, I can't turn back anymore. And sailing through that storm, I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I literally thought I was losing my mind. But in that, my brain just kept going, how do I solve this? How do I get out of this pain?

How do I focus on solutions? How do I take all of this and know my better version is on the other side of that? And I wrote down hundreds of things I could do to stop having anxiety. I did yoga, I did meditation, I went for walks. I did therapy.

All these things weren't working, but collectively. And I'm going to share one last thing I thought, what's one thing that could solve all of it? And it was, if I could become friends with my ex, then all my fears of my kids not being allowed to come over, all the craziness my parents went through, they still don't like each other. And I made a commitment to become friends with my ex. And the day I made the commitment, my boat was on the other side of the storm.

We became dear friends. We went through a divorce. They call it conscious coupling. We're still dear friends. Our kids are thriving.

But the only reason I'm sharing that is, you know, Lisa, my wife, now my ex, is happier than she's ever been. I am madly in love. We have two more children. We have four total. She is my best friend.

She is my. She is my everything. She is my power. She's the one that's my business has grown. My life has grown.

I never would have experienced that if I didn't go after that pain, that failure. And I thought, I'm just doing. I was feeling stuff like. And maybe this is too personal, Ed, but I was feeling like, I'm just my dad. I'm doing exactly what he did.

Like, all this crazy stuff came in, and the only reason I share that is because if you're going through it, sometimes you gotta put the ship in the storm, and you don't find the solution until you're in the thick of it. You don't find the answer. And on the other side is a level, a version of you that you don't recognize. The harder the storm, the more the transformation. So, if, you know, so many people get stuck in a relationship or something, stuck in a career, that's enough.

It pays the bills, the kids can go to college, but you're dying on the inside. I'm gonna say fricking stop. Like, grab the wheel of the ship and turn into the freaking storm. Cause we have to face it. We're either gonna face the storm now or at the end of your life.

Like my dad, who literally cries every time I see him because he never got out of the bay. And I just will not allow that to happen in my life. And the hardest one was thinking I was gonna screw my kids up. That's the reason. And now they are fricking thriving, so I hope that all made sense, brother.

Ed Mylett
Come on. Three podcasts. Four podcasts. Go. That's my favorite moment we've had right there.

Thank you for that. Wow. Really making me think right there. I got to tell you one thing he said in there. That was important.

I want to ask you, I'm actually doing a podcast later today on this on decision making when you're having problems. And, you know, one of my theories in my books is that you're one decision away from changing your life. Having said that, though, you said something in there that was really critical. I want you to maybe just elaborate on a little bit more. When I am looking at the challenges of my life, you know, the quality of our life, you and I have both learned this is quality of the questions we ask ourselves a lot of the times.

And I dont think people know what question to ask themselves when theyre in crisis or theyre in a real problem situation. And you asked an important one there. And id like you to elaborate on it because I think you do it intuitively now. But what most people do is they look at all these symptoms that are happening and they don't go to the disease to solve it. And the powerful question you ask yourself there is, what's the one thing I could do that could change everything?

Right? It's called a catalyst decision. If I made this one decision or I took this one action, it's as good as taking 20 other smaller ones. Right. And so do you do that when you're making decisions about putting an event on or solving a problem?

Is that because I think maybe you do it naturally, and we think, oh, everybody does that, but most don't. It's that what's the one catalyst decision I can make right now that makes the gains that 20 other decisions wouldn't make? Such a great question. I have to tell you, I've done this in business so much, and I didn't do it in my personal life up until that moment. And it gave me more empathy and more drive to be better at pushing people to uncomfortable action.

Dean Graziosi
I know you've watched this with my relationship with Lisa and getting through that, I've transformed. Right. What we did with, you know, our last eleven events have had over a million people at a last. Like, we're doing over a million people registered for our last eleven events in a row. Right.

It pushed me to do bigger, stronger things, because more people need insight, more people need. You're not the cure. I'm not the cure. We just want to be the spark. We just want to show them an alternative way to think.

Not the magical money machine, or the magical happy pill, or the magical skinning bill. No, there's just other ways to address the same thing. What that did by me experiencing that pain is I got to get better. I got to go bigger. I got to persuade people to take action more.

It just drove me. But what I want to share is, I was doing it intuitively in business, right? I'd say, what are the odds? What can I do? How do I solve this problem?

I get to my personal life. I feel like a crippled. I feel crippled, like I don't know what the hell to do. And I'll tell you what I did, and maybe you could model this if you're listening right now and you're going through something. I wrote down all the things that I was afraid of.

Now, I know this sounds simple, but please humble me here. I wrote down, I had a Sunday meeting with my children since they were three years old. Every Sunday was our Sunday meeting. Talk about life with their experience. Talk about everything at each phase.

We went away in the summer for a month together. All the things that I did with my kids, I felt like all of those were going to go away. So I wrote down, I'm gonna miss out on summer vacations. I'm gonna miss out on Sunday meetings every. What if I'm traveling, you know, our travel schedule?

What if I travel for a week and I come home and it's not my week? Am I gonna go two weeks without seeing my nine year old son? Like. And all these things were freaking me out. It was also freaking me out.

What if she marries somebody or I marry somebody, and it's like, my parents didn't talk to each other. What if she talks behind my back and says, your dad? My parents hated each other so much. They talk crap about each other so much, I had to lie to them. So all of those things, I wrote down every one of them, and I was on, like, I wanted to take a Xanax.

Like, I was so stressed. And I wrote down, what are the things I can do to solve them? And I wrote down meditation work, focus on solutions, all the that we've learned and done every day, and none of it was coming through. And I was doing yoga, and I was meditating, and I was doing all the stuff. I was interviewing people that went through divorce, and.

And as I'm looking at all the things that stressed me out and then all the things that I could potentially do, all I kept saying is, what is the one thing? I know? I went through it, like, the power of one, right? What is the one thing I could do that solves all of this? And I just kept writing it down.

I'm like, if I am real friends, not fake friends, if I am really friends. And I got her back. She's never going to take the kids away from me. She's never going to talk bad about me. She's never, she's never.

All of it went away. And I didn't just, I didn't just mess around. I wrote her ten commandments. I said, let me just tell you, I will never talk behind your back, ever. To this day, I will never.

Even if I'm frustrated with something, no one will ever hear me say one bad thing about my ex. I said, I will never. I promised her. Ready for this one? I promised her that I would date someone for an entire year before I would bring him into the kid's life.

A year later, I meet Lisa, the love of my life. I want to marry her in three months. I said, I made a commitment. I showed it to her. I said, we got to wait a year.

She did not meet my kids for one whole year. She wanted to. Every day she's like, can I please meet? I'm like, no. I wrote these commandments.

I'm going to stick to it. And I stuck to these things, Ed and it's like, just like that. So if you're going through something in business and life, take write down all the things you're stressed about, all the things that you could do to change it, and then look at the compound effect. What's one thing you can do that shifts everything? And you're right.

I do that in business all the time. It's the first time I did it in my personal life. That's so good, brother. If you listen to this show for a while, you've heard me and my guests talk a lot about how critical it is to have your wellness goals in order, especially lately with me. So you know how powerful visualization is.

Ed Mylett
When you visualize yourself 110, 30 years from now, you've achieved all your goals. Ask yourself this, am I healthy at that point in your visions? Of course you are. But like anything else, without a plan to get and remain healthy, you can't hit the goal. That's why I'm so thrilled to be partnering with Lifeforce.

It's co founded by my good friend Tony Robbins and Peter Diamantis. Life Force is a leader in proactive care. The life force membership includes everything you need to understand your wellness and help you make good decisions today to keep you on track in the future for your health. Listeners on my show get $250 when they first sign up for their membership by going to mylifeforce.com. ed.

That's mylifeforce.com ed. Take control of your wellness with lifeforce and see what the healthiest version of you actually looks like and is capable of. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Let me ask you this.

Just, uh, your overall insights we talked about last time you were on, I'm just curious where you stand on it now has nothing to do with what we've covered so far. But you did talk about the times we're in, the political times we're in. What about the economic times we're in? You know, you're around some of the smartest people in the world through your work with Tony, and I hear mixed things like, wow, hey, unemployment's low. The stock market's at an all time high.

Maybe they're going to cut rates in April. Maybe this winter isn't as long as we thought. I'm just curious what your gut is because you don't know, you don't have a crystal ball, but you're one of the smartest people I've ever met. I'm not going to have you on my show and not ask you sort of what you see, because that helps people make decisions. Right.

So what do you see short term and long term for the economy? So what I'd say is I can only go by the way I feel. Right. And this is sad to say, I don't have faith in other people's decisions. I should say I have less faith in other people's decisions for the well being of our country than ever before.

Dean Graziosi
I don't think people are making decisions for the overall well being. I think we are stuck in this super left or super right right. And just winning. I think we are in this phase of winning. And it is leaving here in America, probably all over the world.

It is leaving people in the middle unsure. And when there's insecurity, when there's uncertainty, I surely cannot predict an economic shift because who knows? It's been the weirdest thing for the last couple of years. But I don't have faith, Ed. It doesn't make me freak out.

I'm not an extremist. I'm not paranoid. I'm not building a bunker. Not that there's anything wrong with building a bunker. If you want to build one, please do.

But I don't have faith. And it's actually, I don't have faith in the economy. I don't have faith where we're going. I don't think it's going to follow a normal pattern. Ed, there's been so much shift in the world that I don't think it's following what's happened in the past.

And Tony and I have these deep conversations. He feels the same way. And what our plan is, if we can't predict it, then we just got to go strong. We got to go harder and protect our family. If we do better, if we can help the people around us more, if we can help more people be lifted up, then we have the opportunity to just say, let's focus on us more than ever.

I'm focusing less on what everybody else is doing and more how I can achieve more, impact more, and do more, because I don't think it's heading in a great direction. But that's just my personal opinion. No, that's why I want it. I want. You're on for those reasons, brother.

Ed Mylett
And, you know, I want to acknowledge one thing in you. I see you a little bit more bold than I've seen you before, and I like it. That tells me you've got a lot of confidence in what you're doing and your plan and where you're taking your family. Speaking of that, two more things. You're around like I am.

We've both been blessed to be around what most people would say are some of the most successful people in the world, whether, you know, you said McConaughey earlier, Tony Robbins, or, you know, the various people you guys bring into your events or the, you know, people that have achieved unbelievable things as a human on this earth. Right. I've never asked you this on the show before, and actually, no one's ever asked me this, which is surprising. Is there something they have in common, these people who live uncommon lives? Because we know Matthew McConaughey's personality is very different than Tony Robbins, let's say, in certain ways.

So these people who live uncommon lives, what do they have in common? Tough question, but I'd love to hear your answer. Yeah, no, it's a tough question, but it's a great question. And I don't want to oversimplify it, but even having the chance to hang out with McConaughey. Right.

Dean Graziosi
You see, you know, Academy Award winning actor, bestselling author, and all the other things that he's done that nobody sees behind the scenes, but even more so, he's an amazing husband and amazing father. His wife was. We worked together for seven days straight in the room next door. His wife sat next to him every single day. They worked.

We got the work done. So I would say the common thread, even seeing it in Matthew is a, again, you're going to hear this and you know it. They all have a big purpose. They all have a big reason. Some people, and you got to be okay with this.

Some, some people are running away from the dark. Meaning, you know, Richard Branson, I had the blessing of sailing around his island and spending 3 hours just talking about life with him. Right? You talk to somebody like that, or Tony or McConaughey and all these other people, half of them are running away from a really painful childhood, but they still feel the pain. And I think some people go, no, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna let that go.

Sometimes you gotta leave the pain there to disturb you. Like, just being honest. And maybe, maybe that's old school. Maybe in today's world, someone, a therapist might say, you're crazy, Dean. You got like, I'm still running away from not wanting to be my dad.

I still work my ass. I have a big purpose. But sometimes you got, you need the dark side. I don't want to end up as him. That is my fuel.

And plus, I have a big purpose moving forward. So one is don't be afraid to use whatever it takes to get the rocket off the ground. If it's pain, use it. If it's leaving your life the way it is and seeing yourself at eight and 87 years old, like my dad, unfortunately, and crying every day because you missed it, use it, feel it, live it. And I see that common thread, the other common thread.

There's lots of them, but they hustle. You said it earlier today, I mean, McConaughey, when he said, if we're going to do this, I'm doing it right. I said, you want to get together for a day? He's like, no. I said, all right, cool.

You want to just do zoom? He's like, nope. Is how he goes, nope. I said, what do you want to do? He goes, I'm going to fly.

I'm going to get a place next to you in Phoenix. I'm going to come to your office every day, 12 hours a day. Let's make it amazing. He came here for seven days. We sat in that room for seven days straight and crafted his course, every single word.

And he's like, dean, you've been doing this longer than me. He's such a. That's another one. If I'm gonna use McConaughey, so is Tony Robbins. He's like, dude, this is what you do.

If we're doing a movie. You should be listening to me, but I'm doing your jam. What about this word? Should I put this before that he was a student, he was a hustler, but, man, this guy had a purpose behind him. So I would say that's the common thread in most everybody I meet.

Ed Mylett
You know what's interesting? The third thing you added is the one people don't talk about, and what I'm blown away by is the successful people have asked me to coach them. I mean, really successful people that have run big things, how devout they are as students, they show up, literally, to meetings with notepads and a pen to write notes down. And it, isn't it mind blowing when you meet someone? You're like, mind blowing?

Gosh, yeah, it is. It's one of the. It's one of the things that's a secret is their desire to learn and their humility mixed with their confidence. They're super confident people, but their humility to say, I want to extract from you what you know or have that I don't know or have. And they take it much more seriously than most people do.

It's one of those hidden little things. I feel like I have it. I still read. I still study. I'm watching you today.

How do you lay out your points, how you paused a couple times when I asked for reflection. Like, I look at everything, whereas I think most people just see the surface. They just. They don't really study success. If I jump in here real quick, though, and I would bet to say hands down in my life, and I know in yours, too, is when you develop the pattern of not only how to do things, but who has already done it.

Dean Graziosi
And modeling proven practices. Again, you've heard it a million times. I'm not trying to tell you something. Let me just be a reminder service for you today, but there is no reason on this planet to figure anything out or start at first base. When you can model proven practices and start on third base, that is the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be.

Ed Mylett
Yep. Chinese proverb that I keep quoting lately. If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back. That's the world we live in today. That's the world we live in.

Dean Graziosi
I love it. All right, everybody. Dean, I love you. Make sure you all register. It's June 13 through 15th.

Ed Mylett
Register now. Dean and Tony, live.com forward slash Ed. I got to think there's not going to be a lot more chances to be an event like the game has changed. With you and Tony live for no cost, I doubt that's gonna exist much longer. Yeah, this might be.

Dean Graziosi
It's fun and we're having the time of our lives, but our lives have gotten so complex and so busy. This might be the last one. And that's not a scarcity play. It's just a reality. And we're just in a place.

Listen, Tony's in a place in his life just like you are. Ed. We feel blessed to say we don't have to do anything anymore. We could retire and go sit on a beach. And we're working harder than we've ever worked because it's a time when people need us the most.

And, you know, this week we've been. We've been in this industry 70 plus years collectively. But we've been helping people unlock their asset that lives in their brain and turn it into a course, a training, a program, turn it into an asset to sell for. This is our 6th year. I'm saying, if you're going to eventually do your own thing, or you already are, and you're not including understanding what a knowledge product is, what an information product is, then do whatever it takes to show up at the event.

It's Tony and I. We got some amazing guests coming, and over three days, we're going to pull back the curtain and show you how this could be something spectacular in your life. Thank you, brother. Today was something spectacular in my life and in the lives of millions of people are going to hear this and watch it. So I love you.

Ed Mylett
Thank you for being here today and God bless you, everybody. Share this episode Max out your life this is the Ed and Milan Show.

Navigate the Storms of Life & Success with Dean Graziosi

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1: Introduction

2: Dean's Journey

3: Strategies for Resilience

4: Achieving Fulfillment

5: Q&A with Listeners

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Companies

Books

Guest Name(s):

Content Warnings:

Transcript