How to Become the Person God Designed You to Be w/ Steven Furtick

Ed Mylett
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Ed Mylett
This is the Ed Miley show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So have you ever just met somebody and the minute you meet them, you love them and you just feel bonded to them? Almost like kindred spirits immediately when you meet. And I was a huge fan of this man prior to meeting him, and I think we both kind of wanted to meet one another.

So we were sat together one night at a dinner table and about 2 hours later I poked my head up and there ended up being other people there because we were so glued in on one another. I loved him the minute I met him. And as I've gotten to know him better, I consider him a brother, a brother in Christ and somebody that I admire very much. He is the pastor, the lead pastor of elevation church. He's also the most musically beautifully gifted man I know.

He's got a new book out right here called do the new you. I've been waiting a while to have him on the show and share him with all of you. And I'm so grateful he's here today. So, Stephen Furtick, finally, welcome to the show. Great to have you.

Steven Furtick
Thank you, Ed. Thank you, man. I was thinking today, to get to cook with you like this and help people together, I mean, this is, this is a dream, man. This is a dream. Same for me as you know.

Ed Mylett
And I got to tell you, I thought, isn't this cute? My friend wrote this book. It's good that he wrote a book. I'm so proud of him and I'm going to have him on the show because I love him. And then I read the book and I went, whoa, okay, this is not just another book.

This is special. You're very vulnerable and very honest in this book. And so today, guys, is really going to be a ride of really discovering, I think, the true you, which is really the theme for me that I got out of this book. So it starts out. I want to ask you first, brother.

It starts out in the very beginning of the book. You talk about your son's getting ready to go off to college. He asks you for advice. And by the way, I remember Max asking me the same thing. I'm like, wow, I'm sort of known for advice, and I don't have my a game right here with my kid.

But you say in the book, I know what bad advice would be, and so let's just start there. What would not so good advice be? I know what it is, but I want to share it with everybody listening or watching. Yeah. Because, like, my oldest son, he's my workout partner, and we were finishing a workout one day, and he's like, oh, you told me so much great stuff down here.

Steven Furtick
But, like, before I leave for college Thursday, what's the best advice you could give me now? And anytime somebody asked that, it just. It feels like the pressure of having to come down the mountain with the Ten Commandments, like Moses. Like, I don't have any tablets. There's no best advice.

And I sat down after, and I was like, I'm gonna need a minute. I'll get back to you. And. And then I thought, well, I know what, I know what I wouldn't tell you. I know what advice people give all the time that I wouldn't give you, and that's just, do you.

And. Or something like that. You know? That's one way of saying it, just, do you like that phrase? As far as it relates to fashion is fine.

Like, there's one of our staff members here who's been. He's been rocking a man bun lately, and. And there's a very divided opinion if he's pulling it off or not. I heard somebody say to him the other day, they're like, hey, man, do you. And it kind of means, well, I wouldn't do it.

And I secretly think you look like an idiot, but if it makes you happy. Do you? Right? So that's fine. Like, you want to wear the crocs, do you?

I think a 43 year old man in crocs is kind of a lot, but do you? Right. So I get it in that way. And self expression and uniqueness and, you know, if you say that to somebody and you mean live out the most authentic, integrated version of you that you can live out and don't live your life trying to perform up to something that God didn't call you to be, or trying to combine all of the highlight reels of everybody else that you've seen and live a life that you weren't even called to live then great. Do you.

But what we normally mean when we say that, like, just do you, or I'm just doing me, is I'm settling. And I think a lot of people live their life cheated. Like, I start the book by calling that the trap, the trap of just doing you. Because my belief for everybody listening is you haven't fully met you yet. Like, you've seen glimpses.

You've seen glimpses of a you that is kind and patient and tenacious and loving and. And maybe. Maybe you live in that space a lot of time. But my belief is that most of us haven't fully met the version of us that God knows yet. So to say, just do you?

That's a trap. Because, well, now I'm just doing the me that I know, the me that I see, the me that I've experienced up to this point. So then Ed and I don't want to talk too much at the beginning because I hope that we'll riff a lot today because I'm a huge fan of you, man. I was like, if we start tag team preaching today, speaking. And I know, I know there's a difference between preaching and speaking, but we kind of operate off the same energy.

So when I set up a metaphor, I'm like, okay, if do you is the trap, then what's the opposite of that? Well, I see a lot of people that are basically stuck in striving to be something that they think they're not. So I call that the treadmill. Yeah, treadmill. Yeah, the treadmill.

So, like, you get motivated, you listen to Ed, Milet, you go like, okay, I'm gonna do it this year. This is my year. You know, I'm turning my ceiling into a floor in 2024. Like, you get these motivational, aspirational and all that's great, because you're like, all right, I'm not settling for where I am. There's more in me, and there's more to me, and I have something special.

And so then you start chasing something that you think is out there somewhere. Like, one day when I hit this point, I'm going to be happy, I'm going to be worthy, I'm going to be deserving, I'm going to be peaceful. I'm going to be at ease one day when. So now you're out of the trap of just do you, which is living cheated. But now you're on the treadmill of future you, which is some version of you that you think would be, you know, actually acceptable, some version of you that you think you could actually live with but you don't really believe it's you.

And a lot of times what you're chasing isn't what God has put inside of you, it's what you see around you from the fake images that are being fed to you of people at only certain slivers and moments and slices of their life. So that's to live your life chasing. So the book is written to remind you, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever insecurities you're dealing with, whatever habits, addictions, inertia, whatever's going on in your body, whatever's going on in your mind, whatever attacks you feel like you're under, whatever dreams you have that you don't have to live cheated in the trap. You don't have to live chasing some version of you that doesn't really exist, that you could become one day because you're chosen. And so I do a little word play in the book, Ed, where I wish I could write it down and I know a lot of people are listening so they can't see it, but I take the word new, n e w, and I change it a little bit.

I put a k on front of it and I say, the new you, n e w. The you that God is calling you to become is the knew new you. Because God told this, this messenger that he was calling in Jeremiah one five in the Bible, he said, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And so the you that God is Calling you to become is the you that he ALReadY knows you are. So you're chosen.

You don't have to live Cheated. You don't have to live chasing. And I've talked way too much, but you got me fired up. Even LoOKing at you fires me up. And so I got to tell you so.

Ed Mylett
And by the way, the third choice, really, what he says in the book is the true you. And this is what you know. He references Jeremiah in the Bible. That's exactly what he's talking about. The true YOu is the One ThAt God knows, that he knew when he formed you in the womb.

And you're so right, because I live in this world, right? So there Are the groups of people that are just like, hey, man, I'm doing me. Whatever it is, whatever it is, you get what you get. That's one crowd. Then there's kind of the crowd that.

That, you know, sort of is involved in my world here, which is we're chasing the best version of ourselves. And I think that the challenge with it and was so profound for me to read it is this chase idea. I talk a lot, by the way. I'm super unqualified to cover a lot of these things. But I do talk about vision and how the Bible talks about where there's no vision that people will perish.

But I got to tell you, when I meet most people, they have some sort of a vision. In my opinion. I don't think it's always just a lack of vision. It's actually a depth perception problem, meaning we believe it's outside of us. It's further away than it is.

It's something we're supposed to be pursuing or chasing. So we have this depth perception that it's five years away, ten years away, 20 years away. And that's the great lie. The truth is, that version of you exists right now, and you just say it more beautifully than I do. For me, it's a depth perception vision issue.

For you, it's God wants you to see you, he says in his book, the way that he sees you. And I wanted to ask you about something. I was watching something from Rick Warren a while back, and it just dawned on me, this is, I'm just being vulnerable. I'd like you and I to go back forth on this because I think it gets to the root of a lot of the work in the book, which is so good. I'm watching this clip from Rick Warren brother, and he was talking about, you know, the modern day person of faith.

It's, we're worshiping God all the time. We love God. We love the Lord. But yet he said, how good are you at letting the Lord love you? And it struck me because I think for me, that's just been a metaphor for my entire life.

I've loved God all my life. I've loved other people all my life. By the way, I have a little clue about you on this, too. And if there's something I have struggled with, it's my acceptance of the love of other people that God's put in my life. And oftentimes, if I really get to the root of it, it's the acceptance of God's love for me.

And there's a little bit of a block there. There has been for me, as I'm always almost trying to earn other people's love. Or I can feel it when I give it to other people, but I often don't just allow myself to. Just basking the glow of how much God loves me or even my family, sometimes just actually feeling loved. And when I was reading your book, I think it's the great conversation I've been having with myself for quite a while now, if I'm being honest.

And since I've got you here today, I'll have it with you. But do you struggle with that at all? And do you think maybe that's correlated to what we're talking about here? I didn't. I didn't know we were going to go here, but let's go here.

Steven Furtick
Okay. I sat down when I met you a few years ago. And when I saw that we got to sit next to each other, I was so happy because I wanted to meet you, because I had seen your stuff. I had no idea we were sitting together. You didn't either.

I looked at you and I said, oh my goodness, I've wanted to meet you for. For a while. I've wanted to meet you really bad. I'm really excited about this. And you looked at me and you're like, I feel the exact same way about you.

And my initial response to that was shock. I honestly would have never thought that you would know who I was, care who I was, seen any of my stuff. And as we talked that night, the reason, like you said earlier, that we looked up, you know, 2 hours later and our food was cold and there were other people too, is because we started to talk about things that I think a lot of times would surprise people that you struggle with. We were talking specifically about when we speak and beating up on ourselves and replaying the tape of what we said and going home and for the next two days just feeling like we completely failed. And, you know, sometimes it is better that we connect through our vulnerability rather than trying to impress each other with our strengths.

And isn't it crazy that I had watched several of your. I guess I'd watched several of your interviews, several of your talks. And the thought that you would want to have me on would have never occurred to me. Like, wow, I would love to share in this conversation with you, but I wouldn't have felt like I had what I needed. So what I'm learning, Ed, and man, I really hope somebody can get this today.

Cause I was praying on the way in, somebody is gonna hear this who really feels insufficient, who really feels like no I can't let God's love in. I'm not really gonna let you in. But actually, with God's love, it's exactly the opposite, because he's the one who knows you. That's what he says to Jeremiah. Right before you were born, I knew you.

So the one who knows me the best loves me the most, and that sets me free. Because if he chose you, knowing that you would go through the divorce, if he chose you, knowing that you would struggle with managing your money, or knowing that you would have the learning disability, or knowing that you would fail at the first business, or knowing that you would struggle to get it off the ground if he chose you, knowing that if he put you in the situation. This is what I've come to believe, Ed. If he put me in it, then he put it in me. And I know not everybody listening has the same type of faith, but to believe that you were created, see, that's the key for me, that I was created in the image of God.

And so I like to go to the biblical story of Moses. And, y'all, Ed told me I could preach a little bit today because that's. That's the only thing I know. And I hope you'll forgive me if I just kind of gloss over these Bible stories. But, Ed, I was going up to preach about Moses a couple years ago.

It was during COVID times when we were only allowed to let, like, 100 people in the room and space them out. And it was a weird time to preach because the auditorium would feel so empty. And my oldest son, the one that we talked about, Elijah, he was there on the front row with me, and I was talking about how God chose Moses and called him to go lead the nation of Israel out of slavery. And I was saying, you know, like, I'll say to you today, you probably haven't been chosen to lead an entire nation through the wilderness. And, you know, probably what you've been called to do is different, to raise that kid or to make what God has put in your heart, to make the dream that you have happen.

But God has called you and chosen you for something, right? And I talked about that feeling that Moses had, because he's like, but God, I can't go to Pharaoh and tell him, let my people go. I can't speak. I'm not a good speaker. And all I have in my hand is a staff.

And then God asked Moses, who made man's mouth. All right? So at that point in the sermon, something really cool happened before I got up to speak. And I get chills remembering this. I had handed my oldest son my wallet.

And before I handed it to him, I didn't tell him why I was handing it to him. He just thought I was trying to get it out of my pocket to put my microphone on, probably. And when I handed it to him, I had counted that there was $432 or whatever in the wallet. And so at the end of my sermon, almost as if it was an afterthought, I said, elijah, get up here. Get up here.

And the band's playing, you know, and we're closing. It's almost like we're closing prayer. And I said, I need $432. And he looks at me blank, like just deer in headlights, like, you think I have $432? I'm 16, you know.

And I said, I need $432. And, ed, I wish we could play the clip for everybody. You can see the moment in the video where his eyes light up and he remembers that, oh, my dad gave it to me before he asked it from me. And he pulls out the wallet. Yeah.

Yeah. It was a moment of revelation. It's like my father gave it to me before he asked it from me. So that's what I have to remember every time I step into a moment like this moment with you today. This is challenging for me.

I get nervous before I come and share with all the thousands or millions of people that you impact. But I have to remember if God put me and Ed together today, whether at that table or whether on this conversation, if he put me in this situation, he put it what I need to deliver in me. And I think you can believe that about any season of your life if you choose to. But you have to step into it and realize that he won't ask it from you if he didn't give it to you so good. Oh, my gosh.

Ed Mylett
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My letter to get 15% off your first order, that's try tryarmra.com mylet. Join me and thousands of others who are making a real difference in their health. See, I knew when we did this today something really great would happen. But I didn't know how early in the interview, just to really be honest with you, because that dinner that I, by the way, he is right. When we, when we talked that night, what bonded me to you?

One, you're my kind of dude. He's a workout guy, right? He's a dude. So when you meet someone that you've admired for a long time, I don't want to say put them on a pedestal, but you put them on a pedestal. And then when I met him, I thought the pedestal just got higher.

Even though he was willing to be vulnerable with me, somehow it got higher when we sort of revealed to one another our imperfections about every element of our speaking and how we beat one another up. I think I've always struggled a little bit with imposter syndrome. Just a little. Not to the. I think everybody has some of it.

I mean, I've coached former leaders of countries, brother, that, like, have told me they struggled with it and told me some incredible stories. And I've never really been helped with it until I read his book. And I'm serious. There's a part of the book where you talk about the apostle Paul. I never really looked at it this way, but he really had imposter syndrome.

He actually verbalizes it. Right. So, and it's connected to the piece that you just said. But if you would just tell that story for a second, for everybody, whether you're a believer or not everyone, you'll resonate with this version of the story. And it did for me, anyway.

And it's something I've repeated to my son now. I think my son's a golfer, and so he struggles with that before tournaments. I've repeated the story to him now, I think, four times in three weeks. So if you would share it with everyone here, that'd be great. Yeah.

Steven Furtick
The thing I love about these great Bible characters and the reason I love talking about the Bible is because it doesn't hide their imperfections. Like, you read the Bible, you read about the greatest characters, and you're like, okay, if God could use them, maybe he can use me, too. You don't come away from the Bible going, well, there's no shot. For me, it's like, well, you know, Peter was one of the main disciples, and he was cussing and cutting off somebody's ear while Jesus was going to the cross trying to forgive sin. So, like, that's what I mean by chosen, okay?

And if you think about the apostle Paul, he was brilliant. I mean, he was brilliant. Don't get me wrong. It wasn't like Paul didn't have a great intellect. But I think what you're referring to is there's a moment in the scripture where Paul is being challenged, and they're saying, like, you're not like the super apostles.

They actually had a group like, this really fits in with what we're talking about today, because we have influencers and people that we consider successful and that we label like they've arrived. Well, they actually had a group called the Super Apostles. That's what they called them. And Paul's going like, oh, I know I'm not like your super apostles. And I know what y'all say about me when I'm not around.

You say that in person. He's unimpressive. All right? This is the guy. If you take the Bible and take the New Testament, he wrote a third of it.

A third of the New Testament in the Bible is from this guy. And there were people saying in the comment section on Paul's YouTube, he's all right, all right, so that's Paul, right? So Paul says this thing, he's like, I know I'm not as eloquent as Apollos, who's one of the other speakers. Like, they were competing just the same in those days. None of this is new.

It's just all sped up now. You know, it's just all glowing now. But it's always been this way. So Paul says, I know what you're saying about me, that I'm unimpressive. And he basically says, but when I am weak, then I am strong.

And I thought about it, Ed. I thought about the other speaker, who was apparently a better speaker than Paul Apollos and how he was such a great speaker. But, you know, there's not one book in the Bible that Apollos wrote, and yet a third of the New Testament is Paul's letters. So here's what I wonder. If Paul had been able to speak like Apollos, would he have written like Paul?

And if he had spoken like Apollos, they didn't have microphones and audio recording and pro tools. They didn't have equipment to record. So we have no record of what apollos said, but we have what Paul said forever. So it is the thing that is your limitation in your eyes. That is your greatest opportunity in God's hand.

I'm going to say that again. It's the thing that is your greatest limitation in your own eyes. That is your greatest opportunity in God's hands. But you've got to give that thing to him and say, all right, I'm going to take what I have, and in my weakness, I am strong. I think that means that God wants to use the things that we want to hide.

God wants to use the things in our life. And I know some people may hear me talking about God and Paul in the Bible. You're like, hey, that's not even what I believe. I get that, but the principle is still true. It is in your weakness that you lean in and find strength that you didn't know you had.

And so I think it's a great encouragement to me that if Paul was called unimpressive and he went on to impact the entire world, that whatever it is that you're saying to yourself about yourself, I believe that if you bring that to God, and submit it to him. He knows what he gave you. You know, brother. See, the contrast to that is. And you have a chapter in this book.

Ed Mylett
There's a chapter in the book. It might be my favorite one. There's just random chapters called the Lizard is loud. And so the contrast to that, and it has to do with your daughter, Abby. I want you to tell this story because I think what you just said is so beautifully true and profound, yet there's this other part of us that's always trying to survive.

Right. And shrink. I think it's shrink and give in to, I don't know, this other voice that's in our head, this other notion that's. That's the antithesis of what you just described. And I just think facts tell, stories sell.

Right? And so this story with your daughter in the book, I think, is really illustrative of the other side of this thought process. And so tell them about the lizard being loud. This is so good, by the way, I told you, I read every word of the book. You did.

Steven Furtick
And I don't know if you can correct me on my science, because when she was about seven, I have two boys, and my youngest child is my daughter, Abby. And when she's about seven, she wanted to hold her breath and swim to the other side of the pool underwater and not have to come up for air. And I was like, well, you know, your brothers didn't do it until they were nine, so if you do it when you're seven, you'll beat them by two years. So she's all fired up. And I said, all right, I can coach you.

And I started telling her about the lizard brain. Isn't that, like, actually scientifically incorrect the way I taught it to her? I think, like, the good news is I know it's a survival brain. And so I went with it. So I think you're.

Well, that was me. I was like, for a seven year old, this will work. Like, I know somebody will fact check the. I'm at 53, and it worked for me, so I think you're good. I was telling her, you know, like, obviously, your amygdala and the survival part of your brain and the fact that.

And I just told her, I was like, I'm going to call it the lizard brain. And she's like, there's a lizard in my brain? Like, no, no, it's called the lizard brain because. And I explained her that I butchered the science behind it, but I was telling her about the survival part. Right.

And how it kicks into fear and tells you things that aren't true. Yes. And I said, so when you go down, the lizard is going to tell you you're going to die. You got to come up right now. You can't keep swimming.

So it was, like, kind of a combination of a pep talk and, like, finding Nemo. Like, just keep swimming. So I'm coaching her up, and I'm like, when the lizard tells you you can't do it, don't listen, and you can swim to the other side. So she goes down, and she does it the first time, and she pops up, and she gasps. She's like, man, that lizard is loud.

And she said it, like, in the cutest seven year old. Man, that wizard is wild. So I'm like, but you did it. I got to tell you, though, that lizard is loud. All the people that I work with, even people of faith, that lizard is loud in your life, and it's you drowning that out and being faithful and tying into God's love and what God believes in you and believes about you and what he knew when he was forming you in the womb.

Ed Mylett
These are things that you guys, all of you, that listen every single week, you're trying to find this hack. And what I'm telling you is the ultimate hack, whether you're a believer or not is what we're describing today. You don't need the hack, okay? It was already given to you. The case has already been made for you, right?

Case is closed. The sacrifice has already been made. You don't have to earn this stuff. And for me, when I look at Steven, when we met that night and when we've talked since, is you give me permission, brother, to struggle, and that it's okay that I struggle a little bit. In other words, not all these people that I've admired in every area of my life just have it totally dialed in all the time.

Because I got interviewed recently at this live event, and somebody said to me, um, you know, hey, what's the key thing that you know about all these successful people that have been on your show that most people wouldn't know about? And I said, do you really want to know the truth? And I said, I don't mean this in a demeaning way because many of them are my best friends. But I said, everybody's screwed up just a little bit. Everybody's trying to find their way.

And the screwed up part of it, the false belief, is that they're not perfect in the image and likeness of God, that they have these flawed beliefs, that they have to achieve something or get to a certain place before they've earned it, or if I get x, y, and z, and then I'll be happy. And so everyone's screwed up. Everyone's sort of winging it a little bit. We're all on this journey of having a relationship and our faith that grows. And this is what I've been really dying to ask you since I knew you.

The relationship that I have with my. With God. I want to ask you about this for you. Is it a relationship in the sense for you, that it ebbs and flows? Even as a pastor, do you have ups and downs in that journey?

Or for you, is it just a straight up trajectory all the time? Because when things happen in my life, I'll have a. I almost feel like the doubts I've had or the struggles I've had in my life have only strengthened my faith and that I embrace it now as a relationship that's growing. I know that's probably not a pastor question, but I'm curious about that for you. Is yours a relationship?

I don't know about ebbs and flows, but has times where it's growing more than others. Let's say it that way. True for you or not. It should be a pastor question. It should be a question that you wouldn't even have to ask.

Steven Furtick
But unfortunately, you do. Because a lot of times, what we present to people, those of us who. Who preach and lead, is. I don't want to say that it's a false or a fake expectation of a relationship with God, but we almost get people to think that, you know, faith and trusting in God. I have one chapter in the book called Ugly Trust.

And the idea behind it is like some of the times in my life when God was doing the most, I felt him the least. And that goes for every area of preaching, teaching, leading. Like Ed, I could tell you about the times where I finished delivering God's word. Give an invitation. Ask people, do they want to give their life to Jesus?

And people raise their hands, and I can see tears in their eyes and go back and collapse on the floor and feel no God anywhere in my body. No. No trace. And I don't know if this is. I don't know if this is something that.

I don't know if this is something that makes people feel afraid, that those of us who are pastors and spiritual leaders have moments where we feel completely in the dark. We don't know what God is doing either. We're sharing encouragement with others, and we're not being hypocrites. But we're humans. And while we're up encouraging you about your kids are going to be okay, and God's protecting your family.

We're worried about our kids being on drugs. And while we're up encouraging you about, like, rejoice in the Lord. And we're struggling with depression. Depression has been a part of my life and my journey. So has therapy.

Not, I went to therapy for three sessions, and they gave me a bible verse, like, real og, twice a week therapy. And I didn't understand, and here's why. Because I was taught almost that if I had faith in God and trust in God, that some of these things, like anxiety and depression, they were almost taught to me like they were sins, ed. Like they were actually sins to deal with those. So now you feel like, well, what right do I have to help others?

How can I introduce other people to joy when I can barely get out of the bed? And I've had those days. And I remember specifically a time when the church was really growing. Our church is just, just turned 18 years old, and we moved here with just a few families to start the church. And we had no idea what we were doing.

And God really grew it, and it was thousands of people. I remember sitting down with holly one night, and we were having dinner, and it had been a really horrible day in the office. And this person quit, and that person needed to be fired, but we didn't have anybody to replace them. And everything is going on. And I told her, I said, the town I grew up in had less people than the church that I pastor, I'm not prepared for this.

I don't know how to do this. I'm not the leader that we need. And Holly goes, well, you're the one we've got. And I just, like, pushed back for the rest of the meal. And I'm like, I don't think that the reason that God uses certain people and calls certain people is because of their perfections or because they have it all together.

I think it has to do with their availability, their willingness to let him in to those cracks. I love what the lyricist Leonard Cohen, he said, there's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. That's how the light gets in through that crack. So you keep talking about your cracks all you want, but you still have a calling.

You still have a calling. Even though you struggle with maybe even suicidal thoughts, you still have a calling. Even though some of you this week, you thought to yourself, I don't even know if I want to go on living anymore. You still have a calling, God's calling on. Your life is not canceled out because you have low moments.

And I want you to write this down somewhere where you can see it in the future. Okay? Great. Faith has low moments. Those low moments where you don't feel God, where you don't feel hope.

Those are the moments that teach you to go by faith. If you always felt it, you wouldn't need faith. So I understand that ebb and flow, Ed, almost like not God leaving me, but that's God leading me, not by my senses, but by my spirit. So those moments, I found out that I can't feel him. I can't sense him.

I'm foggy. I don't understand it. I'm struggling with my own stuff. All of those moments, that's where the light gets in. That's where the growth happens.

And I know there are thousands of people today who are listening to us, and they're like, well, I guess the dream wasn't real. I guess I was just delusional. Look at everything that's happening to me. But we don't walk by sight. We walk by faith.

And in my experience, Ed, that's where God has broken through the most. I just wrote a song this week. I'm gonna send it to you. It's not mixed in everything yet, but I'll send it to you. And it says, I remember God, how you carried me when I couldn't take a step.

And I remember how you loved me when I couldn't love myself. And I wrote that lyric because I felt that way at times. Like, isn't that how the grace of God is? It comes in when you can't find a reason to feel good about yourself. That's where I've experienced his presence the most, even though I didn't feel it at the time.

Ed Mylett
That's this last five minutes is why I'm doing the show. I'm going to get emotional. I just heard these words in my head. This is why you did the show. I don't mean this episode, I mean this entire podcast, right?

For right now. That answer right there is why I started the show, and I've done 600 interviews, is what you. What just came through you right now? Wow. I'm telling you, that was absolutely amazing.

And I'm so grateful that I got to be here for that and that millions of people are going to hear what you just said. I, um. I'm grateful, and I didn't mean this to happen in this sequence. Hey, guys. So I've been talking about Babel for a long time because to some extent, they've actually changed my life.

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I was having, really conversations with people or telling me they were impressed with my Spanish. And 100% that's because of Babel. Because the way you learn to speak a new language is in total immersion. The lessons are ten minutes long. You can start really speaking the language better in about three weeks because they're crafted by about 200 different language experts.

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You need indeed. So talk about grateful with an eight in it. But they put you like, they picked you up, relocated you into this. This hypothetical thing called a bad mood. And so I am very honest in that part of the book.

Steven Furtick
The mindsets go like this. The six mindsets go, I'm not stuck unless I stop. Christ is in me. I am enough with God. There's always a way, and by faith, I will find it.

God is not against me, but he's in it with me, working through me, fighting for me. I'll skip to the 6th one. The 6th one says, God has given me everything I need for the season I'm in. But the fifth one, my wife Holly says it's her favorite and it's the shortest one. And it says, my joy is my job.

And you really did read this book because you were quoting the book. Like, that's amazing. So thank you for reading it. But, yeah, I think I come from a place where I wouldn't describe myself as naturally happy. I played a game with the kids, like, a year or two ago, and this goes back to what you asked me before, like, as a pastor, do you struggle with these things?

Do you feel your relationship with God ebbs and flows? Not only do I feel that way, but I almost felt like it was a joke that I had to write a chapter on joy when it's something that I struggle so much to live in, because I'm more focused on pressure, I'm more focused on performance. I'm more focused on what still has to be done. I was preaching. I was preaching a sermon on this ed, and I did the Kobe quote from 2009 when they said, aren't you happy?

And he said, what's there to be happy about? The job's not finished. And I was like, I get it, man. That unfinished feeling that keeps me from embracing today and enjoying what God has given me. And you're right.

Like, it can sound like the most cliched thing in the world. You know, go to Walmart, go to target. Get your gratitude journal, and do your gratitudes at night or in the morning. And I had one of those overwhelming moments where I was feeling completely paralyzed and stuck, and I wrote down all my morning routine things, and the list was literally filling up a whole page. And I felt God say, and when I say that, I felt God say, I want to stop on that.

I didn't hear anything out loud. It was just, like, the thought that aligned with what I believe is true. That's what I mean. When I felt God say, okay, because. I used to hear people say, I'm so glad you said that, because people that aren't in the church.

Ed Mylett
Church will often say what is exactly? And I think it's different for different people, but I'm glad you just said it that way. Yeah. I mean, it's like sometimes it's a whisper. It's a whisper inside of you.

Steven Furtick
It's not. It's not anything that feels overwhelming. It's kind of like you just. You know it. And the more you practice it, the more you walk in it, the more you know, oh, that's God's voice.

That's not the lizard. You know, that's. That's. That's the lizard telling me to give up on this. That's the lizard telling me this person didn't call you back because they rejected you, because everybody rejects you because you suck.

And that's the lizard. But the voice of the Lord, the more that you get in tune with that and the more you respond to it, the more then you get in a rhythm with him and you start to know, like, oh, that's my spirit. That's God's voice. That's the Holy Spirit. That's what God sounds like.

So in that moment, I felt God say, you have more than enough tools to get you out of this feeling that you have right now. Choose one and do it. Choose one and do it. And so I decided that my gratitude practice needed to be more of a strategy. And Holly laughs at this.

Ed, I think maybe me and you are really messed up. Like, really, really messed up our personality, because Holly's like, you do all these gratitude practices and activities and everything. It's like, don't you ever just feel grateful? And can't you ever just feel it? And I'm like, no, I have to force it.

And I'm admitting that to millions of people right now, whoever will hear this, because maybe you're like, oh, well, then there's hope for me, too. Because gratitude can actually be a strategy, even if it's not your natural starting place, even if it's not how you wake up. So I made up the grateful eight thing. And like you said, Ed, it's a little corny, but I spelled grateful with an eight, and I just started doing it. Anytime that I need a way out of anxiety, fear, a way out of only seeing what's wrong, I just do.

I don't know how many people watch the video and how many people just listen to this conversation, but if you could see me right now, I take my hand and I kind of trace the outline of my hand. And I start. Let me see. I can't do it real good with the microphone, but I just. It makes eight.

And it reminds me of God's hand on my life. And I just. I take eight things. God, I thank you for my conversation with Ed today. I thank you for the sermon Holly recorded.

I thank you for the new song that we wrote that's giving me life. I thank you that I got to ride to church with Abby today, and she's serving on the photography team, and she looks so cute in her all black photography outfit. I thank you, God, and I do it. And usually by the time I get to eight, if you do that, it's 123-44-5678 I'm tracing my hand. If you can't see, it doesn't matter if I do it quick and don't filter it.

It doesn't have to be grateful for world peace or grateful for the healing of the nation. There's something that's so big, something real concrete, something that comes quick, and I just do it. And I say, God, you've done great things for me. My heart is filled with praise today, and I do it, and I can shift it. And it's one of the practices.

I know that everyone here has been exposed to a gratitude practice, but for me, it is a tool. And if nothing else, you might be like, I don't even know what you're talking about. Tracing your hand or ate in the middle of grateful. Okay, just remember this. Gratitude is the greatest strategy to fight back against anxiety, because a grateful heart is a stable heart.

And sometimes when we have that lizard brain. When I asked Abby and she said, man, that lizard is loud, I said, what did you say back to the lizard? And she said, I just told him, shut up, lizard. We're doing this.

And I love it. And it's like gratitude and getting grateful, not just in my mind. It's not just grateful for the things. This is a big shift. But it's grateful to the one who gave the things.

Ed Mylett
Yes. Yeah. Because the things come and go. But if God is the giver, then there's always more where that came from. So it is very important that you get a strategy for gratitude, especially if you're like me and you're always thinking of how you could be better, how it could be better, how you could make it better.

Steven Furtick
And that one practice has changed my life. Well, it's what I'm using now. And you know, everybody, the reason I wanted Steven on I've had other pastors on one. I just love him. I think he's incredible.

Ed Mylett
But to those of you that aren't people of faith or you're not christians specifically, I want you to know, like, these are real people. And what I love about him is because when you watch this man speak, I'm just going to be honest with you. He won't accept this. You're going to see something that is so anointed, almost super human ability to communicate, and he won't accept that. But it is unbelievable, the anointing this man has.

And so a lot of people that have seen his videos online, they'll see that version. And so the reason I wanted him on a show with me is for you to know, no, this is a real human being with real frailties and flaws and things he's trying to overcome in his life, and that if he can reach and help the amount of people he has reached, and you know that he's a real human, what could you be doing in your life? Because I think it breaks down that barrier of, it's almost intimidating when even I think probably the reason I'm much more vulnerable over the years on my show is I don't want any illusion that I have all this figured out, that I'm a work in progress. I wanted to share with you because I haven't told you this personally, but it fits in the work of the book about really accepting the true me. I was at a really down point in my life many, many years ago.

And again, this ebbs and flows, but. And when I prayed, I would always, you know, be grateful to God and worship God. And I love worship music. I love worship in general. It's just something that my heart loves.

But this is a really down point in my life. And I actually got on my knees one night. I still pray on my knees and I prayed one night. I'm actually writing a book, I think that will be titled this right now. But I said, lord, I said, father, just tonight, tell me about me.

Tell me about me. And it'll make me emotional now, but because a lot of my very close friends know this, they're like, why, when we're together, you're always telling me about me. Like, I'll take a minute and go, brother, let me just tell you about you, is because this particular night, and it brought me to tears. And again, I can't even describe it either. Was it audible words I heard?

Was it just a feeling I had? I can't even describe to all of you how I received this message, frankly. But I received it. And it was my father pouring into me how much he loved me and how strong I was and how he gave me this deep voice to communicate and my kind heart and that I really care about people, that I feel emotions so deeply and that I love. And it was my heavenly father pouring into me about me.

And I left that prayer that night different. Very different. And almost like I feel like what you write about in the book, like, I heard the true me. And it's not that it hasn't gone backwards from there, but it's a point I can always go back to in my life and reference when I really need to be grateful, when I really need to remind myself. It's not that I don't drift from that moment.

Everybody, we always said this. That moment changed my life. And then a year later, it's not changed, but it really did change me, because when I do get far away from it, I can go back to that it changed, especially how I interact with other human beings, but also what I've accepted about me. I want to grow and change and expand, but I'm made in the Lord's image and likeness right now. As I am.

I can have both. I can be loved and accepted and get all of God's grace in the moment that I'm in right now and. Still want to grow and improve and. Get better, to be the next exciting version of me that he also already. Knows and already expects.

So for me, that was a life changing moment, was, tell me about me, and I'd love all of you today as you listen to these two men go back and forth, you know, give yourself that gift. And by the way, if you don't even have a person, what. What would you assume he would say about you and just begin to ask yourself that question? So I just wanted to share that to you, brother, because it was a defining moment for me, and it fits into the book and your work. You know what I'm saying?

Steven Furtick
It is no. Like, dude, like, the time limit on this conversation is what's killing me, because, like, you just said what I was burdened about when I wrote the book. It's like, on one hand, it's like, oh, just do you? There's grace and grace and grace and grace and grace. It's like, well, I want to grow.

I want to. I don't want to just be like, whatever I am right now, I want to become what I get a glimpse of. I call that the glimpse. Like when God told you about you, it's a glimpse. So whether we're using an auditory God's telling you or he's showing you, it's both.

It's like, that's the glimpse. And I see me for a moment, okay? But then there's the gap. There's the gap between my ability to live in that glimpse and grow into that glimpse. So my favorite quote, I think I heard you say it the first time, and you just said it real quick.

And I was like, what is that? I gotta look that up? But you said, you quoted someone else saying it, that if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them, right? And I was like, what? Said that?

That was nothing. That's amazing. If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them, right? So you live in them. So I sat with that quote for about a year after I heard you say it the first time.

And I thought about it, I was like, what would I say after that? That's so true. Okay. If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. But if you agree with God about your potential, you get to grow into it.

Ed Mylett
America starts the day with America in the morning, first of three pushes of storminess. Hi, I'm Jon Trout, your host for. The latest news, politics, entertainment, business, and weather speech. With political overhead, our staff of correspondents. Provide a fast paced look at the.

Steven Furtick
World with specialized reports from where news happens. This decision was based on finding there is a life. The central bank appears to be threading. That concise, accurate, and fresh each day. America in the morning, the podcast available wherever you listen.

So I want to tell somebody today, you get to grow into it. You get that glimpse and that glimpse that you're getting that is loving, that is full, that is free, that is kind, that isn't addicted, that doesn't have these chains holding you down, that's able to generate an idea. You get a glimpse of it. That's your father telling you about you. That's the you that he knew.

K n e w. That's what you're becoming. So, yes, you can have both. That's it, Ed. You can have both.

You can be fully accepted by. By God as you are right now, while at the same time knowing I have not even started to become what he knows I really am. And I'm not chasing something that's out there. It's in me. Because God lives in me.

Christ is in me. I'm enough because Christ is in me. And for me, I just need. I need both. I can't just have this attitude of, well, God loves me I'm a sneak in heaven in the back door one day, so I might as well just, you know, keep on being rude, keep on being hateful, keep on having a bad temper like, no, no, no, no.

I want to grow into what he says about me. So as you grow into that glimpse that God gives you, treasure those prizes. I just had a similar thing. I just had a similar thing to what you had a couple days ago when we were. Yeah, we were recording a new song, and I wasn't planning to go up on stage, but the song just got so good that I had to go up, and I went into this moment, and I sang a little bit, and I have a lot of insecurities about my singing voice, because usually I'm working with singers who.

That's all they do is sing, and I'm kind of a preacher who sings. I can sing a little bit. I know enough music to do my songwriting, but I'm usually with some of the best musicians, best singers, so it messes with me, right. And if I'm up on the stage, I'm like, they'd rather hear one of them sing. But every once in a while, I feel like it's special for me to do it, and it's a part of who I am.

So I went to sing, and I sang, and it went good and whatever. And the next day, I was reviewing the songs, like, all right, we got to start figuring out how to release this stuff. And I heard a voice on the recording, and I was like, wait, that's the part I sang, but that's not me singing it. So I pulled up the video, and I went to that part on the video, and the guy holding the mic at that moment, singing those notes was me. That was my voice.

And I zoomed it in. I was like, yeah, there's some. There's something going on here. And wasn't like anybody had time to go overdub anything. So I know that's my voice.

I'm looking at me singing that, and I don't think I can sing that. And I thought exactly what you said. Like, now I have a new reference point, a new revelation of what's inside of me. And when you get those in your life, you're right. You don't get to live in them.

It's not like I could walk out and just do it anytime, but I did it that time, and if I can do it that time, maybe there's more in me. And that's what me and Ed are teaming up to say. To you today, that glimpse is real. That's the you that God knew before trauma set in, before abuse happened, before you disappointed yourself, before you learned that pattern, that you. That you get a glimpse of that that knows how to move forward, that knows how to stand up, that knows how I believe that is the glimpse of the image of God inside of you.

So it's just amazing that we both recently had that glimpse experience and that we get to reach out to people today and say, God is giving you a glimpse of what he sees in you, and he's inviting you to grow into it. And all you have to do to start with, just agree with him about your potential. Okay? God, if you made me. If you made me like this, then this is how you wanted me to be.

And I'm available to you to do what you want me to do. So good. I feel like I want to do this again with you, where we have no. Nothing else to discuss other than the things we're talking about right now. Just because, um, we're.

Ed Mylett
We're in a moment right now. I don't want to leave. And so, before we do, first off, let me just say something to you. I love you and I'm grateful for you in my life and in the world. And if y'all get a chance, if you don't know, Stephen, just give yourself the gift of watching one of his messages, one of his sermons, listen to one of his songs, you won't be the same.

That's. He's so. He doesn't like hearing this, but you can't hear him once at any of their music, any of elevation worship's music or any of his sermons, and it not impact you whether you're a believer or not. It's just. I'm just telling you, he's anointed, he's gifted, and it's.

It's my favorite stuff to do. It's. It's odd to be talking to somebody that it's the main person's music I listen to, and it's the main faith best message. Faith based messages that I listen to are both the same person. So thank you for everything, brother.

I really am so grateful that you exist in the world and that you've pursued your calling. Wow. That you've answered God's call and that you continue to. And that you work on overcoming these things that could potentially limit that calling because God's kingdom needs you so, so badly. You're so important.

Steven Furtick
Thank you. Let me ask you this last. Let's say someone's listening to this is a tough one. They're listening to this today, and they've just always wondered about what happens when they die, their life, the meaning of their life, why they were born. And that's always been a whisper.

Ed Mylett
Everybody listening to this or watching this, that question's been whispering to you all your life. It's the one question that's never gone away. Some of you have answered it, but some of you have not. And so I'm just curious what you would say to that person who's like, you know, I've looked at Christianity before. I was a buddhist for a while.

I don't know. I'm agnostic. I don't know what I am. But I am wondering still, you know, what would you say to that person is like a first step or a thought to hold in their mind that maybe they should consider today before we end the conversation. Well, I want to talk to you like, it's Sunday morning and we just finished having church together, and I'm like, well, what do I.

Steven Furtick
What do I do now? And maybe you're thinking like, all right, all right. I need God in my life. I'm gonna. I'm gonna get my act together.

I'm gonna clean it up. I've said I was gonna do this for a long time. I'm gonna get my act together. That's not coming to God, getting your act together. Because my belief is that we couldn't come to God, so he came to us.

It's as simple as that for me, Ed. I couldn't come to God because he's perfect and I'm not perfect. I couldn't come to God because even my best faith is still full of doubt. I couldn't come to God because even the best acts that I do are tainted with sometimes selfish motivations. And so I believe God is so rich in love and so gracious that he saw me in my need, he saw me in my sin.

He saw the shame that I carried. And I believe he sent his son Jesus. And the first step of making your relationship with God right isn't changing your behavior is believing. Just believing and believing doesn't mean you don't have any doubts. I don't know what happens when you die.

I haven't done it yet. But I believe that when I die, I won't stand before God and he'll say, you know, furtick, we've got a long list to go over of reasons I'm not going to let you in before I send you to hell. Cause he could do that. I mean, like, I could make the list. The list is long.

I believe that when I meet God face to face, though, it's gonna be an embrace because of what his son, Jesus, did for me, because he died for me. And I place my faith in that. And I place my faith in the grace of God. The Bible says that it's not of works that we're saved. It's the gift of God.

So nobody can boast, so nobody can tell you, hey, when you die, you're going to have to spend 100 years atoning for the things you did wrong because of how horribly you raised your children or. Or the years you spent addicted, or all of the. All of the things that you did that nobody else knew about. Well, God was watching you. And now it's payback time.

If you place your faith in him, I believe that record of wrongs is nailed to the cross, forgiven. And I believe that God takes everything righteous about his son. Jesus places it on you and welcomes you into his kingdom, and you're like, well, that's not fair, is it? No, it's not fair. It's faith.

It's grace. And so my confidence in this life is the same as my confidence after this life, that by the grace of God, I am what I am. And that by believing in him, I'm saved. And I have no other hope. Ed, I'm not.

I'm not boasting in anything that makes me better than anyone else. I just believe that Jesus paid it all for me. And I stand on that every day of my life. And that's how I stand up and preach, and that's how I go in and apologize when I'm wrong and recover when I'm down, is just knowing that. You know, I like to say it this way.

Religion is spelled d o. Christianity is spelled d o n e. It's already done. The price is already paid. All you have to do is place your faith in him, and he does the rest.

Ed Mylett
What an amazing conversation. I'm glad. I'm frustrated that we waited this long. And then today, when it happened, when it was supposed to happen right now, it was supposed to happen right now. I'm really affected by today.

So thank you, brother. You've moved me today in a way that I didn't expect. I love you, and I'm grateful for you. I hope everybody will go get the book, do the new you. I also just hope you like I've said, go follow Stephen on instagram.

At least just go check him out. Check out his stuff. You're gonna love his music. You'll love his word. You love hearing him preach.

And hopefully today you fell in love with him even a little bit more like I have. So, brother, thank you for today. It was outstanding, and I want to do it again. And I'm not kidding. We're going to do this again, but we're going to be doing it in person when I'm feeling a little bit better.

I promise. I'm in, man. I'm in. I loved creating with you today, and I want to thank you for being a mirror to so many people. You know, you said, tell me about me.

Steven Furtick
You show people things about themselves that they never would have seen without you. Nobody does it like you. And I meant what I texted you a few months ago. How did you become the best interviewer in the world? And the only stipulation I have is at least one of the next times we do it.

Let me ask you this stuff, man. I want to ask you. I just feel like your gift is so endless, and I'm so thankful that we connected and I learned from you. I appreciate you, and thank you for having me on today. It's been amazing.

Ed Mylett
That hour flew by, bro. That flew by. I looked up. I'm like, we have five minutes left. We've been here for 15 minutes.

That was crazy. All right, everybody, go get do the new you. Follow Stephen, share his message, and. And this book will impact your life whether you're a believer or not. So go get it.

God bless you, everybody. Max out your life.

This is the Ed and Milan show.

How to Become the Person God Designed You to Be w/ Steven Furtick

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Episode Summary

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1: Introduction

2: Breaking the Cycle

3: Embracing the True Self

4: Faith in Action

Actionable Advice

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Transcript