121: Aishetu Dozie | Founder & CEO, Bossy Cosmetics

This episode explores the journey of Aishetu Dozie, from her early life to founding Bossy Cosmetics, discussing the intersection of passion, purpose, and beauty entrepreneurship.

Empowerment through Entrepreneurship: Aishetu discusses how her brand empowers women by aligning beauty products with professional excellence.Challenges in Transition: Transitioning from finance to beauty entrepreneurship presented significant challenges, including industry pushback.Impact of Background: Aishetu's unique background and education played a crucial role in her business approach and ethos.Facing Rejection: She shares her experiences with venture capital rejections and how she navigated these challenges.Building a Brand: Insights into building a brand that connects personal identity with a broader market appeal.

1. Early Life and Background

Aishetu discusses her upbringing in Boston, her Nigerian heritage, and the early recognition of her ambition.
Aishetu Dozier: "I grew up in Boston's projects, unaware of our financial hardships, inspired by the opulence of Neiman Marcus where my mother worked."

2. Academic and Career Foundation

She details her academic journey and significant career in finance, setting the stage for her entrepreneurial leap.
Aishetu Dozier: "My career in finance, including roles at Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley, taught me about wealth and empowerment."

3. Entrepreneurial Shift

The chapter explores Aishetu's decision to leave finance and start Bossy Cosmetics, highlighting the motivations and initial challenges faced.
Aishetu Dozier: "I founded Bossy Cosmetics to create a beauty brand that empowers ambitious women."

4. Overcoming Challenges

Discussion on the specific challenges in securing funding and prejudice in venture capitalism.
Aishetu Dozier: "Venture capitalists failed to see the potential of a beauty brand led by a Black woman."

5. Vision and Impact

Focus on the impact and future aspirations for Bossy Cosmetics, emphasizing empowerment and inclusivity.
Aishetu Dozier: "Our mission is to champion ambitious women everywhere, using beauty as a tool for empowerment."

1. Pursue Your Passion: Align your career with your passions for a more fulfilling life.
2. Face Challenges Head-on: Use setbacks as stepping stones and keep pushing forward.
3. Diversify Your Skill Set: Skills from various fields can be transferable and beneficial in new industries.
4. Seek Mentors: Leverage the knowledge and experience of others who have navigated similar paths.
5. Stay Resilient: Persistence is key in overcoming rejection and achieving your goals.

Aisha is the founder of Bossy Cosmetics, a hyper-growth independent beauty company that inspires, empowers, and champions ambitious working women. Under her leadership, the company has grown from a purely digitally native footprint to retailing in over 600 retail doors across the country, including JCPenney and Nordstrom, as well as on Amazon.com. The brand was selected (numerous times) as one of the coveted “Oprah’s Favorite Things”, and has won honorable mentions and awards from Fast Company in Innovation by Design and various product awards from Self and Ebony Magazines. In the 5 years since its founding, Aisha has redefined the way beauty companies “see” professional women and has been featured in NPR’s How I Built Resilience,, Forbes, W Magazine, InStyle, Refinery29, amongst others.
Prior to founding Bossy Cosmetics, Aisha led a different life - as a 20-year global finance executive having worked over the course of her career at Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers, Standard Chartered Bank, World Bank, and Rand Merchant Bank. Aishe has worked on over $130 billion in M&A, private equity financings, IPOs, and public capital market transactions.

She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Cornell University, an MBA from the Harvard Business School, and was a Fellow in the Distinguished Careers Institute at Stanford University.

Perhaps even more impressive than all of this, Aisha is a wife and the mother of three sons!

People

Aishetu Dozier, Carly Malatskey

Companies

Bossy Cosmetics

Books

None

Guest Name(s):

Aishetu Dozier

Content Warnings:

None

Aisha Dozier
What do I need to be good at to be great at something?

Carlea Milatzky
Hello everyone. You are listening to. She leads with Carly, and in this show we talk to the absolute best. Brightest, and, yes, badass leaders. Tap into where your natural curiosity takes you.

Unknown
Just making sure you're not your own roadblock. Even if you do fall, you're gonna fall and you're gonna lure together, let's build a DNA of what it takes to rise to the top and truly make an impact.

Carlea Milatzky
I'm your host, Carlea Milatzky. Hello everyone. I am super excited to welcome our guest today, Aisha Dozier. Ayesha is the founder of Bossy Cosmetics, a hyper growth, independent beauty company that inspires, empowers and champions ambitious working women. Under her leadership, the company has grown from a purely digital native footprint to retailing in over 600 retail doors across the country, including JC Penney and Nordstrom, as well as on Amazon.com dot.

The brand was selected numerous times as one of the coveted Oprah's favorite things and has won honorable mentions and awards from fast company and innovation by design and various product awards from self and ebony magazines. In the five years since its founding, Ayesha has redefined the way beauty companies see professional women and has been featured in NPR's how I built resilience, Forbes W magazine, InStyle Refinery 29, among others. Prior to founding bossy cosmetics, Aisha actually led a whole different life as a 20 year global finance executive. Having worked over the course of her career at Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers, Standard Chartered Bank, World bank and Rand Merchant Bank, Ayesha has worked on over $130 billion in m and a private equity financings, ipos and public capital markets. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree from Cornell University, an MBA from the Harvard Business School, and was a fellow in the Distinguished Career Institute at Stanford University.

And perhaps even more impressive than all of this is she's a wife and the mother of three sons. Aisha, I am so excited for this. How are you today? Welcome to the podcast. Okay, so, Carly, first of all, that intro is amazing.

Aisha Dozier
I need to record it and play it for myself every morning when I wake up because I'm listening to you, I'm like, this Ayesha lady's not so bad after all. I know. I mean, I don't spend my days thinking about things I've achieved and accolades and stuff like that. I'm more, as you said at the end, you know, I'm a wife, I'm a mom today, you know, one kid has a volleyball tournament. So I'm trying to organize that with my husband.

And, you know, I had a call this morning with Amazon, and, you know, I'm just doing things so I don't sit down and think about, you know, the entire career or the life. But when I do, I'm insanely grateful because I am blessed. But it's very rare moments that I take the time to do this. So thank you so much for inviting me on this podcast. And I love that intro because I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to bed with a bit of a smile today.

Carlea Milatzky
I love it. I love it. So, Aisha, as you know, what I love to do is I want to go all the way back to five year old, ten year old Aisha. Who was she as a kid? Tell me a little bit about her and where you grew up.

Aisha Dozier
Wow, five year old, that's a long time ago. We won't be specific how many years ago it was. You know, I was born in Boston to immigrant nigerian parents. My father had been in the military in Nigeria, and he had gotten a scholarship to come to the US. And so he married my mom.

I don't think they knew each other very long and moved to the US. I was born, and shortly after I was born, they separated. And so I grew up in the projects in Boston with my single mom, who, you know, was. Was an illegal immigrant for many years until I became 21 and I could file for her. So it was a very interesting beginning.

And I think when I was five, I honestly don't think I knew that we were poor. I didn't know that we lived in the projects. I just thought we lived in a high rise building in which there were three high rise buildings, and everybody was kind of like me. I went to the public school, you know, swam at the YMCA across the street. And so I don't know how many people are poor and know that they're poor because I didn't know anybody else who was on the other side of the tracks.

But I do know that, you know, my mom, when I was young, had worked at Nordstrom. Sorry, not Nordstrom. Neiman Marcus. In the dress. In the dress department.

And I remember walking in there and just being overwhelmed by the opulence. And at that time, you know, going into Copley Square and Boston and seeing Neiman Marcus and these, you know, 1000, 2000, $3,000 gowns, to me, was just the other side of the world. And so I think that was when I started to say, these are nice things, and they, you know, they cost a lot of money. And you know, I'd love to be able to afford this stuff. I didn't know how, but I knew I liked, I like those nice things.

And one day I'd like to be able to it wear gowns like this. And, Aisha, what were some of you said, you know, single mother, largely for your childhood? What were some of those values that your mom instilled in you growing up? So it's interesting because I don't think she, you know, would turn to me and say, here's value of today, or here's the lesson of today. But all I saw, my mom was working.

I don't have any memory of my childhood where my mom was not working. And she was, you know, she was working at Neiman Marcus. She was getting a master's degree. While she was working at Neiman Marcus. She also worked at a shoe store.

You know, she was just. The ethic was, you work to survive, right? And the ethic was to have a hot dog on the table. She had to go out there and work so that she could get the money to buy just that hot dog. And so even then, I remember, you know, Michael Jackson was really cool, and I wanted to get, like, the thriller jacket.

And I remember it was a lot for my mother to buy that jacket and the stirrups for me. Right. So I always knew that to get things required money, and we just didn't have a lot of it. Clearly, right. In my intro, you went to Cornell, you went to Harvard Business School.

Carlea Milatzky
Like, education was a big part of your upbringing, or at least like, in part of your journey. And what type of student were you? Did you enjoy school? Did you aspire to go to those Ivy leagues, or how were you thinking through that? Yeah, so I think, you know, as I said, when I was growing up, my mom didn't say, here's value statement one, here's value statement two.

Aisha Dozier
Yeah, generally. But the value statements, she did say, you got to get a degree, and not just one. You need to get two. It was a minimum of two degrees. She was very clear that education is what takes you out of the position that you're in into the next league.

And so that was one thing I knew. You've got to get good grades. You've got to go to a good school. You've got to just sort of be next level for yourself and for your own family. And so that was one thing that I can say was a value placement in me was the value of education and really going after it.

And so I was the kind of student I was very disciplined, to be honest. I look back now at college, I'm like, okay, maybe I was a little too serious, but I took my mom's words very seriously. So I did the best that I could, got the great grades, went into the good schools, and studied super hard to get good grades, to get good internships. And, you know, I remember at my Cornell graduation, I was so excited. I'm done with school.

And my mom kind of whispers in my ear. She's like, you still have to get the masters, right? And I'm like, jesus, it's not even 30 minutes on my diploma, and I've already got another goal. So that was the student I was is this is education is what takes you to the next level. So you've got it.

You've got to get it right. Yeah. And, Aisha, I'm going to even go off a little tangent here, because I wanna get your thoughts on today's world and what you think of education. You know, you have three sons. How do you view.

Carlea Milatzky
Do you kind of implement that same drive for them or, you know, colleges? Things are shifting now. There's a lot of things shifting in the world of education and how important a degree is. How do you think through that? I think it's tricky.

Aisha Dozier
I think so many things are different now than they were when I was a child. Like, there were no mobile devices. There were no smartphones. The Internet was not a thing. So I'm so grateful because I really grew up, you know, very molly coddled.

Like, it was just, we had a playground outside of the building where I lived. You come from school and you run around with a bunch of friends until suppertime, and you go upstairs and eat. That was our social activity every single day. And in the summer, you played at the YMCA every single day. It was super quiet, super innocent.

Now, you know, children are encouraged to have all of these feelings. They have all of these devices that open them up to the plethora of issues and feelings and dangers. And so it's much harder now, I think. You know, my mom, when I share stuff about my kids, she's always like, oh, I'm so happy I'm not a mother in this day and age. I wouldn't be able to manage it.

So I think things are very different, and you can't be as tough on your kids today as I think my mom was tough on me. And I also think it was a very different place. My mom, as I said, immigrant, who is divorced, which was, you know, a layer of shame for her, and so she has this daughter, and she really has to make sure that she and this daughter don't mess life up, right, like they've already made. She's already made a bad step. So everything else has to be right.

And I felt that burden. But my children are growing in a different environment. I'm in a two parent family. You know, my husband and I are actually both very educated, and we're raising three boys in privilege, quite frankly, you know, so it's a very different perspective for them. But we still put the exact same values in them, you know, we want.

So I won't say you have to get all a's, which is what I was told when I was young. But I will say if you are capable in this subject, I really want you to work for the best that you can. If you are struggling, then we will get you support. But those things, that kind of conversation wasn't open to me when I was young. And if my son comes to me with a b in a particular subject that I know he's worked really hard at, I'm good with it.

Carlea Milatzky
I love that. And I think what comes into that is more of the work ethic that you intrinsically learned from your mom. Right? Like, if you're good at something, if you're not good at something, like, you'll work towards it, you know, whether that's in either way. So I love that.

I think that's amazing. And so before we actually even get into Cornell, you studied economics. You go down this whole, you know, whole journey in your career. I want to touch on what you said where both your parents are nigerian. You actually live for a good portion of your life in Nigeria and then move back to the state.

How have you dealt with whether it's today, but also early on in your years, like, how did you deal with that almost dual identity? Did you, did. Were there challenges in that aspect? I think in the beginning, I was kind of, my mom was like, we're moving back to Nigeria. I was like, what do you mean back?

Aisha Dozier
This is the only country I know. But for her, it was going back. And I was, you know, I was very concerned because this was the time in the eighties and the ethiopian famine crisis. And so I was just like, but there's no food in Africa. How are we going to move to Africa?

Nobody has food. Because I was watching the media, and then, of course, I moved to Nigeria, and I realized, you know, it's absolutely not the case. And I think Nigeria was also very transformative for my mom because we went from her, you know, working several jobs, you know, while going to school, while raising, you know, a child on her own to now living in Nigeria. She now has two college degrees. She has a professional job, and I get to go to a really good school now.

So it's, you know, it was a flip. I think that was when I realized, oh, my God, we were poor back then. And so it was for me, though, you know, a lot of people made fun of me that I had this american accent. And it was really. It was a very tough adjustment process for me, which I think I just.

I only unpacked as an adult. I really tried my best to fit in. And then, of course, years later, I think eight years later or less, I moved back the US to go to college. And then there's this, well, are you black american or are you not? And what does that mean?

And so in the earlier stages of my life, it was always very confusing because I felt like, why do I have to be something? Can I just be me? And then as I grew up and started to understand the various levels of baggage in Nigeria, in the US, as a black person, I then really understood it. And so now I really feel like I.

I exist as my whole self in all of the spaces. So in the US, I exist as 100% nigerian, 100% american black woman. In Nigeria, I exist in the exact same way. And I am so confident in that identity that it's unshakable. But it did take some time for me to really understand what those different identities meant and where they were in sync and where they weren't and where there was privilege and where there wasn't.

Wow. I love that. And I love that you said that, because I think so many people feel pressure that they have to choose one box, and you can't really live into identities or live into whatever it may be. So I'm so happy you brought that up. You go to Cornell, you study Econ, and then you go down this whole career path in finance, mind you, very successfully as well.

Carlea Milatzky
Walk me through that process. And what were you optimizing for at that time in your life when you're choosing to go there? So I was. The easiest answer is, I was optimizing for cash. Yeah.

Aisha Dozier
So I was still. I mean, yes, we were not as poor as we were, but we were not very wealthy. So when I had gone to Cornell, I financed my own education. I mean, I did work study. I did loans.

I got scholarships, you know, all the stuff everybody does. And then I worked on the summers. I was really fortunate to get into these programs that allowed minority students to work on Wall street. And so I had worked at a bank called First Boston, which doesn't exist anymore. It's now part of Credit Suisse.

I had worked at Smith Barney, which was bought by Solomon Brothers, which was bought by Citibank. So I was, you know, just really getting a taste of, you know, high finance. And I loved it because when I was an econ major, so I got to learn about, you know, macroeconomics, microeconomics and the influence of finance. But I also learned that, like, that's where the money is, right? And so here I am in debt, broke and young, and I'm like, oh, I want good things.

I want nice things. And I'm like, listen, you've got to go work for it. And so it was one of those things where I thought, okay, let me do this for a couple of years, make some money, and then I'll go follow my real passion. That's kind of what I thought would be the case. So I thought, okay, I'll do it for a couple of years.

And remember, my mom had told me when I graduated from undergrad, I have to get the master's. So the master's was always kind of front and center, like, okay, I can do this banking thing for a few years, go get the masters, and that's when I'm gonna, you know, pursue this life of passion, which I had no idea what that meant at the time. And when you even mentioned the passion, do you have a concept of what those passions were like? Were you able to still explore different areas or were, or was it very stuck in the one career? I was very.

I've always been a dreamer. Even when I was a young girl, I've always, always been a dreamer. I mean, I would dream I would watch a tv show, like the show dynasty or something, and I would dream that I'm wearing that beautiful gown or dream that I own an airline. Like, I was always a big, big, big dreamer. And so when I.

When I had started working on Wall street, of course, I was living in New York City. You know, you're walking up and down Fifth Avenue, Madison Avenue, on the few moments you do have time to not be in the office. And I fell in love with fashion. I fell in love with fashion. And so I had this idea that I wanted to do something in fashion.

And, you know, I've always loved, if you can see around me, I've always loved color and accessories, and that sort of flair for the most was always my thing. And so I would try to infuse it in my banking world, but, you know, not successfully, but I always thought, okay, I'm going to pursue a career in fashion once I'm done with this money making thing and I'm no longer poor. I also, I have to say, so obviously that'll come into ultimately what you're doing now with bossy cosmetics. But what I want to even touch on is so many people, they try almost change the story to show that it was passion and everything. But, like, for you, you're just, it's very honest in that, you know, what you wanted to make money.

Carlea Milatzky
Like, you were financially driven to get what you wanted, and that was that. And that's so, by the way, it's common, but also it's so fair, you know, like, that's such a viable option as well, which I think people don't necessarily, like, aren't forthcoming about it. So I appreciate you talking about that. It has been a consistent theme of mine and remains a consistent theme of mine even now in my current work. You know, I always say nothing bad happens when women make more money.

Aisha Dozier
Nothing bad happens when women are wealthy. I want to see more women on boards, more women with, like, real money, real wealth, real power. And I have felt that since I was five. This is not a new feeling. And so I just didn't know that, you know, you can't attain wealth and power in two years.

So I thought, oh, I'll work for two years, become wealthy and powerful, and then I'll go pursue my passion. It took a lot longer and I still haven't hit it yet. And then you ultimately, you work at Goldman, and there's the concept of the golden handcuffs, right, where, you know, just as you're about to leave, they say maybe stay on another year and, you know, like, you're always tied back into it. I'd love to talk through that experience of how you almost, like, ensured that you're still doing what you want in your career versus, like, being tied down to this and, you know, kind of getting in the midst of it all. How did you navigate that?

So, I mean, I knew I had been accepted into a two year analyst program, so, I mean, I was going to do the two years. I wasn't going to flame out of that. And you kind of, you do it, you learn, you're hungry, you're just, you're doing what you need to do. And then I was offered an opportunity to stay for a third year and I took it because honestly, at the time, I was like, I know I want to go to business school. But then when I looked at the business school application process, I just couldn't get my act together to write essays or to take the.

I think it's the Gmats or whatever. I just couldn't motivate myself. So I was like, okay, you're not ready for business school if you can't even apply. So I saved for one more year, and after that, I was so ready. I was one of the earliest applicants.

I was really, really ready to leave, and I was tired. Right? Like, when you're an analyst for three years, you are literally the bottom of the totem pole. Like, you do it all, all the time. And so I just.

I liked the idea of taking two years off to go reflect, go have fun in business school. Honestly, like, I'm not sure I went to learn. I went to just chill, and, yeah, I was ready. I was ready, and I applied first round every school I applied to. And I got into my dream school, which was Harvard, and I was ready.

But before I went to Harvard, listen to this. I worked as a summer intern before I went to Harvard, working at a fashion company in New York, because I still had that idea that I wanted to pursue this life of passion. But I wasn't sure what that was because I'd only worked in banking at this point for three years. So I had offered. Nicole Miller was the name of the designer access to have someone like me for the summer period, but not to pay me any money.

Right? And again, as a young banker living in a tiny studio apartment in Manhattan, I could afford that. So that was my foray into, let's play around with this idea of. Of passion and what does it mean and what does it look like? And creativity and all of that.

So I did that for the summer before I went to business school. And even in that, you know, getting that taste of fashion, did you actually. When was that first seed planted of, like, maybe I'll be a founder, like, maybe I'll start something my own? I think it's always been in me. I think it's always been in me.

Okay. It's always been in you. And I think. And I was just about to say, I was always this, like, really bossy child. I was always this child that just had an opinion, wanted to say something, wanted to be the boss, like, wanted to drive things.

And I just. And I'm still like that. I come into a group, and I see that, you know, people are struggling to take leadership, and I'm the person who's like, let's go. You do this, you do that, you do this. What's your strength?

What's your weakness? Let's do this. Like, I've. I've always been that person. And so when my.

When I would have these dreams, they were always about me owning something, it was never me working for someone. Oh, it's amazing. And I love it because it's almost. And we'll get into this, right, because of Bossy and the name. But, like, it's that.

Carlea Milatzky
It's that positive spin on Bossy. A lot of times you hear it like a negative connotation. But here it's like, you know what? Bossy is good. Bossy is power.

Anyway, so. Yes. So, ayesha, you ultimately stay in banking, you stay in finance, and you become an executive, you become a leader. Leader. And then you reach a point.

Tell me a little bit about the mental toll that it took on you and how your mental health was during this time in your life. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Conversation just went down.

Aisha Dozier
So I think what happens, you have to remember, this is over a long period of time, right? When you're young and you don't have any real responsibilities, which I didn't really. It was just I wanted to provide for my mom and myself, but that was it. But what happens over time? You know, I had gotten married.

I'd had one child. I'd had a second child. I'd had the third child, right? Like, this is over a very long period of time. But as you're becoming more and more senior, you know, you had mentioned that I had worked at Morgan Stanley when I.

When I was right smack in my career, in the middle of my career at Morgan Stanley, I got pregnant with my first son. And we were working on a deal. We're trying to take an oil and gas company public on the London Stock Exchange. And I was pregnant out to this. Like, my stomach was everywhere.

And I'm like, I'm not going on my journey leave until this deal crosses, right? And I look back now, and I'm like, that was so irritating. I would walk into meetings and everybody would be like, what? Is the baby gonna fall out? Like, that's how pregnant I was.

And so I was just, you know, you get into this zone of, I've got to do, I've got to do, I've got to do, I've got to do. And I just. But then I also wanted to have a family, right? I had this sort of idea of a biological clock ticking, and so I was like, okay, you gotta, you gotta do all the things. And it's really, really hard to do all the things at the same time.

And so about eight years ago or so, I had started feeling tired. I'd been tired for a while, but it's like, you're always tired, right? Just like, drink a coffee or, like, go for a run or get a workout or something. Like, you figure it out. It wasn't, it wasn't a big deal, but the exhaustion just wasn't going.

The exhaustion wasn't going away. And then I found out through a series of really unfortunate circumstances that I had severe hypertension, and it knocked me off my feet because, you know, my father had passed away a few years before that from heart failure, and he was hypertensive as well. And so this one's in my family. And when the doctor had said, look, your blood pressure is so high, and let me make you laugh. So when I go to the hospital and they tell me, okay, your blood pressure is so high, the reason you're dizzy and always exhausted is because your blood pressure is high.

If you don't figure out a way to make some changes in your life, you're going to have to go and medication for your life. And so I was like, okay, what do I need to do? And I remember the doctor asking, are you under stress? And I'm like, no, not really. And my husband's at the hospital with me.

He's like, yeah, she is. Yeah. And he's like, the doctor's like, okay, well, listen, I need you to take, like, a week and just chill. Here's where we want to get your blood pressure to. And, you know, I'm not, you can't tell in the video, but I'm nowhere near obese.

So from a BMI standpoint, you know, what you would usually tell someone is, okay, you've got to lose weight. You've got to do this, you've got to do that. But weight was not my issue. I cut out salt, and then I spent a week basically at home trying to get my blood pressure down. How do you think that went, Carly?

I spent all day looking at myself in the mirror, okay? I don't feel relaxed. Am I relaxed? Taking the blood pressure like I had to cup at home? Oh, my God, it's going higher.

Okay, drink some tea. Let me go for a run. Oh, my God. At the end of the week, I went to the hospital. I was like, give me the medicine, please.

And so I've been on those pills for the last eight years. Every single day. Wow. I just. I mean, one of the.

Carlea Milatzky
I mean, now we can, you know, there's humor in it, right. But, like, at the time, it's freaking hard and it's draining in every which way. But I just, like, there's a part of who you are, too, of you answering the doctor, you know? No, I'm not stressed. Like, you know, it's just normal life.

Like, that's my job. Yeah. So, yeah, that's incredible. And ultimately, did that change your. Beyond the medication, right?

Did that change your habits that make you take another look in the mirror and be like, am I on the right path? Should I be doing this? How are you thinking through bigger picture? It changed everything. It changed everything.

Aisha Dozier
At the time, I was so, I was turning 40, and that was a very disruptive period anyway, right. You're, like, getting into a new decade, and you're kind of reassessing so many different things. And now this doctor has told you that you are, you know, the life that you have very carefully crafted, you have invested in. You have just put all the pieces together, very thoughtfully, sacrificed so much. The doctor is telling you that, you know, the weight at the pace you're going.

You're going to have a stroke. You're not going to be there to raise your kids. And so it was. I was shattered. I was just like, how?

And again, as I said, when the doctor asked me if I was stressed, I truly believed. It's not possible that I'm that stressed. Right? It was my husband that's like, I have been watching you. You are very stressed.

And so it was a very. It was a. It was the best bad news I've ever gotten in my life. Wow. Wow.

Yep. I changed everything. And so shortly after that, I quit my job. I have not been a banker ever since. I applied for this program, the fellowship at Stanford, and got accepted and moved out here, and this whole new life has begun.

Carlea Milatzky
Okay, ayesha, you mentioned something about, you know, at the same time of having this ambition for your career, you also just as equally wanted to build a family, wanted to be a mom, you know? And you. You had the biological clock ticking. And that's something, personally I can understand. Like, I think about it, and I know many, many women do as well.

I want to know, given your experience, there's so many aspects of your story that I can be like, yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. You're in the office when your baby's about to pop. Like, there are things that just seem, you know, not that crazy, but in many worlds, it is crazy, you know, and, like, you should be taking that time off. I'd love to know more of, like, a reflection.

How do you, what advice do you have for women that are in a similar position to you where, like, we're constantly battling, you know, being a mom, having a kid, building a family, but then also rising up the ladders in your tech job or being a founder, whatever it may be. What are your thoughts, generally for women, given that experience? Yeah, it's hard. It's hard. It's hard.

Aisha Dozier
It's hard. It's still hard. I'm still. I mean, I'm in a much better position now because I, you know, I'm the captain of my own ship and I have resources to support with my kids, but it's. It's very, very hard.

When do you start? What are the trade offs? The one thing I would say, I mean, I would say a lot of things, is that it's hard. So if you're feeling under pressure, it's normal. We all go through it.

The other thing is that you can have it all, but just not at the same time. Right. And this fallacy that we see on social media, you know, where there's this perfect woman and she makes her spaghetti from scratch and she makes her thing, and then, you know, she manages the perfect little kids and, you know, and just, she's all perfect and everything's all great and tip top shape, you know, tip top shape. And, you know, she snapped back right after having the babies, you know, no judgment on her, you know, but it's just not generalized. And so don't compare yourself to these people.

Give yourself grace. There will be moments that you're going to have to slow things down. Right. And I, you know, when I, you know, you have to. You have to tell yourself, you can't do everything all at the same time.

And for my three children, it's very important for me to, you know, to have a vaginal birth and to breastfeed them. Like, I wanted that connection, which means that I wasn't going to go back to work immediately. I was going to give myself that time. But I will say, with my last baby, I was interviewing for a job with Rand merchant bank. Again, I was, like six and a half months pregnant.

Walking into the interview, and I remember saying to the executive recruiter, should I tell them that I'm pregnant before I go in? He's like, when you walk in, they're going to see it. And I still got. I got the job. And we paused the discussions until the baby was born and they flew me out to South Africa with the baby and got me a nanny in South Africa so that I could meet the team.

So where I'm going with this is that when I was much more junior, obviously you don't. You're not able to call those kinds of shots, but when you are a lot more senior, you can. And so you just really have to understand the life you're trying to create. And just remember, like I said, I always say that was the best bad news I ever got because it put everything in context for me, right? It was.

If I died today, am I going to be like, I wish I did that deal, or am I going to be like, I wish I went for my son's bully booking? It's going to be the latter, right? So you have to optimize for the things that are most important to you. And there are some women who maybe they're going to want to have done the deal. That's your call.

Right. And then focus on that. Right. Focus on that. But I know the kind of life I want to create, and I do want to have power and influence and wealth as a woman, but I do also want to be a mom and a wife.

And so everything that I do is balancing that every day. I love it. Okay, so you mentioned you quit. You quit your job, you ended up joining the DCI fellowship at Stanford. Even real quick, was it.

Carlea Milatzky
Were you scared? Were you, what was going through your mind of being like, I'm done. I'm taking this sleep. Okay? So let me tell you.

Aisha Dozier
Was I scared? I was in the hospital. I ended up in the hospital with a panic attack. The idea of quitting a job and not having a salary sent me into a tailspin. You don't understand.

I have worked since I left high school. I've worked at Toys R Us. I've worked at Abercrombie and fitch. I mean, I have been working multiple jobs until I became a banker and working like a maniac. I've never not worked.

And so the idea of me being unemployed with no income, I thought I was okay, but I was really not okay with it. So I had to go through that process of, you know, really. And again, you know, I'm now at a point of privilege where I can afford to not work, right? But that sort of poor girl in the projects doesn't leave you. What she does is she starts whispering, you are going to go back to the projects like, you're going to be broke.

You're going to be living on the streets and it's a voice that exists in your head. You can't get rid of it. So it was very scary for me. But, you know, I got through it and I took the plunge. Came out to Palo Alto, we found a house, put the kids in school, and I started my fellowship.

And I was really lucky that, you know, my nanny from Nigeria who'd been with us for many years, she came and spent the first three years with us here. So she was like. I was like, here, these kids handle them because I gotta hand, at least for the first year. So again, it takes a village, but I was, you know, in a position to have, you know, those types of options to do it, but I was petrified. That's.

Carlea Milatzky
It's amazing just to hear also, like, from your perspective, right? Because on the outside, I'm sure anyone could be like, yeah, you know, she's. She's a mom. She's. She has security.

Like, all of the. The pieces line up, but then in your mind, you know, there's a whole mess going on, you know, telling you otherwise and telling you, which is just. And, Aisha, I'm curious, like, how did you. And you said, you know, you got through it. You took.

You took those leaps coming to Palo Alto. But mentally, did you do some, like, meditation, spirituality, like, things to actually actively help you go through that? Yeah. So thank you for asking. So I am I, since I don't exactly know when, but sometime in high school, I became a Christian on my own.

Aisha Dozier
And, you know, over the many years, we won't say how many years it's been since I was in high school, I have just become a deeper and deeper follower of Christ. And what that has done is it's. I'm not perfect. Don't get me wrong, I do have, like, you know, what's happening, but I am centered. I'm centered around this notion of purpose and this notion of being made on purpose, for a purpose.

And I'm centered on this idea that I am on a walk, I'm on a journey, and that I am. I am here for something. I'm here to inspire. I am here for impact. And so, yes, it is scary, but I'm not doing this on my own.

And that has been the single most important thing that has kept me from ending up in a straitjacket or something is just really keying into what I believe my purpose is. That's amazing. Look, everyone has their own process and journey and their things that they need, but everything going on in the world today. You need that. Like, that really grounds you, and you need it.

It's a lot. Yeah. So I love that. And ultimately, by the way, fun fact, DCI fellowship. I actually met while I was studying at Stanford.

Carlea Milatzky
Leslie Blodgett, founder of Bare Minerals. She was doing her DCI fellowship, so we took a class together. She was my class. Oh, my God. So it was the same time.

So, anyway, I got to know her through that. It was around the same time she was writing her book. She came on the podcast. Anyway, that's amazing. I love that.

So, tell me, through that experience, what did you get out of it? And then, ultimately, what led to the founding of bossy cosmetics? I sometimes feel weird talking about the amazingness of that program because it really is privilege to do it, which is why I'm happy that we went through my whole, you know, my whole story is life. I didn't start with privilege, because what you get, you get the opportunity to spend a year, at least, on Stanford's campus, curating your areas of study. Like, what is it you want to do?

Aisha Dozier
What is it you want to learn? Who do you want to know what? I mean? My God. And I was focused on just creating brain space.

I felt like I had spent a couple of decades in a very specific linear path, which had served me very well. But then I'd gotten to this point where I just didn't know where to go. I didn't know what was next, and I wasn't. I looked back, and I was like, okay, great career, but I'm not happy. I don't enjoy this.

And so this allowed me to step off of that ladder and just say, what would you do if you weren't afraid? What would you do if you didn't need money? What would you do? Like, who are you? Who have you become over these 20 some odd years of professional experience?

What is the toolkit that you have built? What are you passionate about? What is your purpose? And just literally stripping yourself bare and rebuilding it to what you think is the image you want to see? And that's what the one year allowed me to do.

I spent most of my year in the design school. And so if you're familiar with the design school, you know, you just. You just get to have fun all day thinking about people. Like, it is truly empathy driven, human centered creativity at its core. And it was such an amazing process for me, who had been a banker, and I thought in a very specific way, and here I am, like, just throw away the toolkit.

Let's start again, and let's start fresh and let's look at people and think about what they need and what they want. Wow. I can't even imagine how liberating that must have been just to, like, go into a whole world of creativity and passion, because that is the D school. You're right. It's very much just, like, hands on exploration.

Carlea Milatzky
That's incredible. What I wanted to add to that was, you know, there was a lot of unlearning as well. Right. Because at this point, now, I'm an MD level executive, I'm a senior woman, and I'm not used to now being, you know, I'm in class and doing partnerships with 21 year olds, and we are peers, right. And we have what that person says is equal to equal weight to what I say.

Aisha Dozier
And I come from a very hierarchical background, and so having to learn to break down all the assumptions that I had before and really look at this 21 year old man or woman and learn from them was really special. It was just. It was a really beautiful process for me to go through myself. Yeah. I will say, though, from the student perspective, it's very.

Carlea Milatzky
Also intimidating, you know, because you have gone through this whole life of a career, and, you know, in our view. Right. Like, from that perspective, it's like, oh, this person. Everything's right, you know, like, they know what they're doing. So it's actually amazing to see that dual perspective, the contradiction, too.

Aisha Dozier
Yeah. And now. Now you know that we actually don't know what we're doing. But. But, Aisha, another aspect beyond the unlearning is, did you have a challenging time almost translating the skills that you got from finance into this whole new world, whether it's entrepreneurship, creativity, whatever it may be.

Did you. And I don't want to necessarily use the word imposter syndrome, which we hear a lot, but did you have that process of, like, how does this translate? Like, where is the tie between the two? Yeah, definitely. First of all, I have a PhD in imposter syndrome and have always had one, so I think it's a daily battle.

And I I'm okay with it because. And because I know I deal with it. I can see when it's rearing its ugly head, and I know how to smack it. But I think I was in the beginning of the program. It was great up until kind of three quarters of the way through, I was just like, free your mind, Aisha.

Free your mind. Learn, absorb, absorb. And then, of course, you're getting to the last quarter of the program. And you're like, okay, honey, what's the plan? Like, you need to have a plan.

And, you know, I was very, very concerned with my lack of a plan. And I think one of the things that became very important for me to know about myself. So one thing is I felt this weight as I was getting to the end of the program to do exactly what you said, which is to take the thread from the previous career and sew it into the new thing. And I was trying to do that consistently. Like, how do I extrapolate from being an investment banker to what?

And, you know, I would ask people for guidance, and it was like, okay, go be a CFO for a fintech company, or go be a whatever. Go into tech or go be an investor, or, you know, all these things that are the thread that, you know, makes sense. But every idea was depressing to me. I was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that.

I don't want to do that. And then I had to free myself from this idea of, first of all, needing third party validation. Like, stop asking people what you should do. You are now old enough. You're a grown up.

Decide what you want to do, and it doesn't matter what other people think about you. I think for me, that was a very big chasm to cross, because I didn't even know that it was something that I was concerned about. And I think also, I did have a bit of an identity issue. I had become very comfortable with what was on the business card. Right.

I'd become very comfortable with the name. Oh, yeah, I work at Goldman. Oh, yeah, I work at Lehman. Or, you know, I, you know, and what happens? Oh, I went to Harvard.

And what happens is when you, when you don't come from privilege, you're running around looking for all these things that are stamps that allow me to walk into a room, and very quickly, you can put a good value on me. Right. But now I've come to this point with having just, like, flogged the living daylights out of myself over 40 something years, and I'm like, okay, I don't want to get any more titles. I don't want to get any more stamps. I just want to follow what I want to do.

And I realized that I had to rip up the playbook and stop looking for the thread. And so what I started to do was to do design thinking on myself. Wow. And so I took this really amazing class called transformative design, and it's really just holding up a mirror. And that's how bossy cosmetics was born.

It was, what do I think I'm uniquely placed to do? What do I think would be work for me that's not really work. What would be something that I could do that would keep me in a state of flow where I would constantly be generating energy, but that energy is work, and that work is output that can be beneficial to someone else and that you could put a price on it. That's. That's the way.

And then I, you know, I didn't plan for it to be what it is becoming now, but at that time, it was a very small idea of, let's do something silly. Right? Let's. Let's play with this a bit. Let's not go look for a CFO job and something.

Let's not look for those type. Those things. Stop it. Let's just. Let's do something that's gonna bring you joy.

And that's what I've been doing for five years. So let's get into bossy. Right? You go, you start bossy cosmetics. And we saw a little hint of it from working in fashion and whatnot, but this is a little different.

Carlea Milatzky
You go into cosmetics. So tell me about those early days. What made you say, you know what? This is what I meant to do. I'm taking this leap.

Aisha Dozier
Yeah. So the first thing is, I always tell people there was no feasibility study. There was no market analysis. There was no, let me see where there's white space in the industry. There was none of the sensible thinking before you start a company.

And there was the, I want to do something that I think I will. You know, when you talk about, you know, founder, market fit, I. That's what I want. I want something that when you. When you meet me, when you listen to me, when you engage in what I'm building, you're like, okay, she's the person who's going to do that.

And I know I'm the person who's going to do that. So that was the first thing. It was a very selfish thing. But then I thought, okay, let me see if there's a market for this. Right?

Like, this is something I find very interesting. And the reason I started with lipsticks is because I have always been a lipstick junkie. Like that. Lipstick. Gift giving was like a love language amongst me and my girlfriends.

I would travel a lot internationally for work, and I would stop at the duty free and, you know, pick up a new Dior, givenchy or something. Lipstick. And I'd buy them in a bunch of colors and give them to a bunch of my friends, and my friends would do the same thing back to me. So makeup giving was like, you know, a really big thing for us. And we were just like, oh, my God, what red are you wearing?

Or what nail polish or whatever. And these friends of mine were all, you know, incredibly successful women, very well educated, you know, the whole thing. And so it wasn't like, you know, women at that level, you know, no longer care about how they look. No, they actually still care about how they look. And, you know, take delight in finding new brands.

And so I wanted to tap into, you know, I had this idea of the intersection of passion and purpose. And I felt, as I've said before, I've been driven by purpose, and I wanted to make sure that anything I did was purpose driven. So it wasn't about, I want to make money, which was investment banking. Right. It was.

The purpose was, I really want to work with women. I really want to inspire women. I want to create content that's aspirational. I want to create products and services that are beautiful, that women love, that really kind of evoke something emotional that is very much helping them fight imposter syndrome that is very much a confidence hack. That's what I set out to do.

Just chose to do it with cosmetics. And I remember I actually heard your. How I built resilience with guy Raz. Incredible. Both big fans.

Carlea Milatzky
And one thing you mentioned was in that journey, you considered taking venture dollars, or at least funding externally. And a lot of them were, well, take me a little bit through those responses you got, especially from the men, and this isn't even uncommon. I've heard this with, you know, Sarah Blakely and Spanx and whatnot. So take me through that. And then even more so that.

That mental model you may have had to build for yourself to. Yeah. You know, to put that aside in a way and still stick to what you believe. Yeah. And not a lot of them.

Aisha Dozier
All of them. So let's be clear. Every single VC that I spoke to was. Was. Was not nice.

Some were nicer than others, but it was that the preponderance of feedback was. It was around work and beauty. I don't get it. Doesn't make sense. Not a thing.

You know, this is a tech place. Nobody cares about beauty. That's. I actually had one VC's almost. I can't remember his words, but it was kind of like, this is beneath you.

You could be doing something way more important with your life. Finance. Why would you be selling lipsticks. Yeah, I've had the idea of. Oh, okay.

So, and this is, I want to say, 98% of the VC's that I spoke to. So this is lipsticks for black women. And I'm like, no, it's for women of all races. And that's where they just fall down completely. Right.

And maybe it would have been better if I said it was for black women, but they just, at that point, they're like, there is no way you can build a brand that women, that white women, hispanic women will want to buy the products. It's not possible. If you want to do this, you need to focus on women who look like you. And this is probably, I want to say, not 98 people. So this is what I was getting.

And, you know, what ends up happening is, you know, and of course, within all of that is a. The business that you are describing, you can't build it. Right? Right. It's.

You can't do it. And a lot of it is because I'm a black woman. Right. Because I don't think you can debate that I can build something based on my background. I don't think you can.

If we're talking about pedigree as something that VC's and investors flock to, I have all of those things. Right. So there is a very personal reason why you're not. You don't think you can back me or you will not back me. And, you know, like I said, what happens is one of the beautiful things, at least in my case, of, you know, having, of being a black woman, but having grown up and had my very formative years in a predominantly black environment, that doesn't destroy me.

It doesn't destroy me. It doesn't, you know, you know, it's what it is, but you keep going. You keep going. Right. And I faced it throughout my career in investment banking.

I don't want to make it seem like as a black woman who has seen her in investment banking, I never faced racism. I did all the time, but you just kept going. And so in this case, I realized, you know, I'm not going to get support from, you know, the people who are here to bet on the people they should be betting on. I'm not. I'm not a worthy bet to them.

And that I didn't take that personally. I took that as, okay, how much do you believe in your purpose? How much do you believe in this idea? And so what I started to do, I started small. I was like, okay, listen, you may have purpose, but this may not be the right way to execute it, go into the marketplace.

The marketplace is the truth teller. Right? Like, you can have, as we have seen in tech, some people rate. I mean, Quibi raised, I don't know, a billion something and just, you know, disaster. So it's not the money you raise.

Right. So I was like, listen, and in hindsight, I can say this now, because we're still in business. I'm actually grateful that I wasn't given a lot of money or any money from BC's, because I definitely would have wasted the money. One of the things that the five years, because I was very resource constrained. I had to really get intimate with the customer.

I had to really understand what she wants. I had to really understand who. Who we are, what distinguishes us from other brands. So I had to do really hard brand development work on no budget. And so it depends on the day you catch me.

Some days I'm like, I'm doing it. All these people and everybody who has rejected me over the years, I have this quarterly thing I send out, or if we're on Oprah's favorite things, or we get an award, I put them on the email list. Absolutely. As you should. And Aisha and, wow, that's just hearing the responses, and it's just sounds crazy.

Carlea Milatzky
It sounds absolutely crazy. But I can understand it. I've heard many stories. It happens. So it's almost just how you react to it.

And then you actually bring up such an interesting point about oftentimes founders who are resource constrained. Like, you have to be creative. You have to, you know, that grittiness versus being like, yeah, I think customers will like this. Let's run in a big experiment, you know, and waste some money doing that. So there's so much value in that, which I love that you, you brought up.

And so, Aisha, when you think of, you know, up to now, where you're at, how has it been? How is it being a founder of bossy cosmetics and, you know, in a completely different, like, you've lived, you know, different lives, if you think about it, how is this life that you're currently living? I feel incredibly blessed, you know, just even having this conversation. You, you know who I'm sharing this conversation with, you other, you know, Leslie Blodgett is a woman I just hold in such high regard. Other women that you've spoken to on your podcast, you can't imagine, you know, for guy Raz to dm me on Twitter and want to talk to me, like, are you.

Aisha Dozier
Are you mad? You know, for Oprah Winfrey to, like, have a picture wearing my lipstick and holding it. Are you mad? Like, madness. It just, you know, and then I, you know, I'm in my studio right now, which is three blocks from my house.

I walk to work. My kids, you know, help me take out the trash. My kids help me pack up orders. I have, I have made some friends from customers. You know, I am, I am falling down every day, but getting back up and learning, you know, we are doing the thing.

It is not easy at all, but I'm still at it. And so, you know, this is harder than banking, actually. This is definitely harder than banking, but I'm, but I'm, but I'm, you know, I'm not ending up in the hospital. I'm happy, you know? So I'm actually so curious about your answer to this, which is, what does success mean to you, and how has that changed over the last ten years, if you will?

So before success was money, how much money is in your bank account? And what's your title? That was it. Like, what's your title? Are you a vp?

Are you an MD? Are you a CEO? Are you on a board? Are, you know, like, the bigger the title, the juicier your life has been, and you're a winner. And the cash in the bank, I would say a decade ago or more, that was, that was, that was it.

Now, having significantly less money than I had ten years ago, I, you know, my, for me, success is doing what I'm doing right now. Right? Like, I'm, I'm, I look around my office every day I come in here with it. Sounds crazy, but just unbelievable gratitude. Everything here is dreamed up by me.

This photo shoot you see up here, all the post its, it's me doing the organizational structure, all the products here, all done by me. This is me when I was on. The digital cover of Black Enterprise magazine. What? Like, just my whole wall is filled with press clippings.

Like, like I said, much less money, right? I mean, if I tell you my salary, I pay myself a bossy, you will laugh, but it's, you know, I get to live this. I'm building something. I'm teaching my children about hard work and ethic. I'm teaching my boys that women can be powerful, women can be strong.

Women can also be sensitive. Women can be soft. I am able to, you know, take weekends off and go to Yosemite. Last summer, we spent the whole summer traveling around Europe because I have a really great team that supports me and I can work on the road business. Did not skip a beat.

While I was traveling around Europe building something, I get to sit on the board of a public company. So I really get to kind of massage left and right brain.

I mean, this is, like I said, it's a different definition of success. And my last question for you is, what craft are you spending a lifetime honing? Prayer. Prayer I have become. You know, I always tell people new levels, new devils.

And so just as the brand, as we get bigger, you know, get into JCPenney, get into Nordstrom and all the things we're trying to do, and I'm working on this program on Amazon, trying to take our business up five x this year. And, you know, new levels, new stress, new devils. And like I said, I can be highly strung out. And so one of the things I'm really learning is how to kind of key into the peace of God and how to pray more and how to be so centered that no matter what is happening around me, I'm calm, I'm cool, I'm collected, and I'm focused. So that's the craft I'm really building.

I'm trying to teach my children the same as well. Yep. Okay. Aisha, I just have to say that I hope you realize just by sharing your story again and reflecting that it really, I mean, this so truly, it is one of the most incredible stories. Like, seeing where you grew up to where you are now, like, honestly brings me to tears.

Carlea Milatzky
I think you are so incredible. So really, I just thank you for coming on the podcast, sharing your story. It's so inspiring. And that's it. Thank you.

Aisha Dozier
Thank you. Thank you for having me. I mean, this conversation that you and I are having, this is part of my purpose. This is. This is when I say that I'm walking in a purpose, it's, I want one person to hear their story and to feel like they can do it and then they go do it.

Right. So that's part of, that's part of my work.

Unknown
Thank you so much for listening to the show this week. If you enjoyed, please spread the word. Tell someone about she leads or post about it on social media and tag us if you want to contact us. Feel free to send over message through the she leads Instagram pageleads show. If you want to follow us on Twitter.

Our account is she leads show and mine is arleigh Milatsky. This episode was produced and edited by Nick Firchau. Thank you also to our partner, Floodgate. If you are passionate about startups and want to learn more about the starting journey of those who have built groundbreaking companies. I highly recommend listening to starting greatness with Mike Maples Jr.

The founding partner of Floodgate. He has an incredible show that, in my opinion, is definitely worth your time. Thanks again.