712. Q&AF: Employee Grudges, Overwhelmed With Work & Fear Of Missing Out

Keith
Yeah went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze fuck up bow fuck up stove counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold dust a no head shot case cloak, cloak. What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, delusions of modern society. Welcome to motherfucking reality, guys.

Andy Frisella
Today we have Q and A app. That's where you submit the questions and I give you the answers. Now you can submit your questions a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email these. Questions into ask andy@andyforsella.com or you go.

On YouTube in the comments section on the Q and a f episodes and drop your questions right there in the comments. We'll pick some from there as well. These questions can be about anything. Typically, they're about business, entrepreneurship, personal development, how to kick ass in life. That's what we like to talk about on this show.

But you can ask anything you want. We'll pick some. We like the varieties. All right. Other times you tune in, we have CTI.

That's what you're going to hear tomorrow. That stands for cruise the Internet. That's where you take the topics of the day that are on the Internet. We put them up on the screen, we talk about them. We speculate on what's true and what's not true, and then we talk about how we, the people have to be the solution to some of these problems going on in the world.

Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk's just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. That that's just some shit that I think you need to hear. And then we have 75 hard versus. 75 hard versus is where someone comes in, they talk about how their life was before 75 hard, how their life is now after they've completed the 75 hard program, and why you should be using the live hard program and the 75 hard program to fix your life as well.

If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program. It is the world's most popular in history mental toughness program, and it is free, and you can get it for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. There is also a book called the book on mental toughness, which is highly recommended but not required. You can get that@andyforsella.com it includes the entire live hard program, the nuts and bolts, the ins and outs. If you're someone who likes to know all the details.

It's a must have. It also includes ten plus chapters on mental toughness and case studies on very famous people as to how they became famous using mental toughness as a skill set. So check that book out, the book on mental toughness. Andyforsella.com dot now you're going to notice something about this show, for this is your first time listening. We do not run ads on the show.

I don't want to listen to someone tell me what I can or can't say. So I forego the ads and instead I make a deal with you. Help us share the show. Help us get the word out. As you know, we are constantly dealing with censorship, shadow bans, traffic throttling, and sometimes account deletion, which means I need you guys to help spread the word.

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Keith
Share the show. All right, what's up? What's going on, man? Not much. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
What's up with you? Oh, you know. Not much. Yeah. Yep.

Keith
Just another day in paradise. Yeah. Do you like that saying? You like when people be like, nope. I don't like people.

All right. Yeah. I don't like anything they say. Yeah. So now I don't like that one either.

No, but like, you know, people, there's. Nothing worse than when you walk up to someone. Yeah. And they say some shit like this, hey, Steve, how's it going? Oh, just living the dream.

Andy Frisella
Another day in paradise. All right, Steve. Well, fuck you. How about that? Like, and these are always people that are losing.

It's always people that are fucking losing. Their life sucks. They look like shit. They're out of shape, they don't have any money, they're not trying very hard. And you say, hey, how you doing?

Trying to stir up a positive conversation. And they say, oh, you know, living the dream. Say that, dude, just pay attention to who says that. It is never a high quality, high earning, successful, kick ass individual. It is always people who are losing.

I'm just living the dream. Well, maybe if you stopped and, you know, thought about your life a little bit, instead of being sarcastic and cynical about it, you could actually live the dream. But, you know, I can't do it for you, man. I love it. Yeah.

No. So to answer your question in depth, no, I hate people that say that, but I don't know if it's because they say that, or if it's just because I hate people. Yeah, you can't really tell the difference. But I definitely hate those people. Yeah, I got it.

Keith
I got it. Paradise. Living the dream. Yeah, it looks like it. Man.

You did get your account back. That's good. Yes. Had to pull some very major strings to get that back. Is everything back?

Cause, I mean, I've never had it, like, completely gone, so. No, not everything is back. They have my traffic suppressed. When you search my name, it doesn't come up in the search bar. So they're doing all kinds of shit, which I still have to get fixed.

Yeah. But, yeah, it's interesting. I got my account back right after we talked about it, and it's super weird. Yeah, super fucking weird. So.

Yeah. Shit, man. Yeah, man. That's what's going on with me. Trying to get jacked and tan.

Andy Frisella
Juicy as fuck. Mm hmm. You know, trying to run some businesses. Kick ass. What everybody should be trying to do.

Keith
Do guru every now and then. Huh? Do the guru shit every now and then. Oh, yeah. You know me, sweet bear.

Well, listen, let's, uh. Let's get into this, man. Let's make some people better today. Mid, mid week drop of Qnaf. And let's start off with some.

Some. Some fire here, Andy. Guys, question number one. Andy. I have an employee who has been with me since almost the start of my business.

She started four months after we opened the brick and mortar store. We have been in business a little over two years. After hiring her, she quickly became a key member of our team. She learned how to do all the jobs at our bakery coffee shop. She was eager to learn and grow.

She became a good leader for our seasonal high school staff members. We made her an assistant manager, giving her a little more responsibility and a race. Then last summer, I could feel her falling off. She quit putting in the extra effort and wasn't trying as hard. We had a conversation around that where she told me that she, quote, felt that I no longer needed her, and she quit trying to.

To which I told her that I felt. I felt that and was. I was very frustrated. I did still need her or somebody to be that second in line and help aid with all the things she was supposed to be doing. After that conversation, she improved back to her original helpfulness.

That was last fall. Now this winter, in March, she has approached me asking to only work four days a week going forward because she, quote, needs more time for herself. This hit me in a really bad way because I've been working really hard on building out and expanding our little business so we can do serve more markets. Now I feel like I don't have someone to count on and help me build this out. It's extremely frustrating and has left me feeling bitter and resentful towards her.

I know I can't expect anyone else to put in what I am putting into the business. I don't. But this whole situation just left me feeling bitter and resentful towards her. Any thoughts how to move through this? Is this something you, you've experienced before?

Andy Frisella
So you're bitter and resentful because someone that you hired to help you and you relied on heavily, didn't feel valued or needed and decided to spend their time other places? Who does it sound like is at the root of that problem? Because it ain't her. All right? And this is what happens when I talk about the typical business entrepreneur who wants to come in on Tuesday and leave on Thursday, and I understand you may not be doing that.

However, at the very least, you haven't been fostering the proper relationship. And what it sounds like to me is that this person who was highly involved in getting your business off the ground has now realized that that's all they're ever going to be. You're not making them a bigger part of the business. You're not giving them extra responsibility. You're not actually relying on them to help you grow to where there's a reward in that for them.

Because in reality, if you want people to stay with you, there has to be some things that happen, all right? One, they've got to progress in their career. Two, and most importantly, they have to believe in what you're doing. And if you can't paint a picture that's big enough to where that person's dreams fit underneath that umbrella that you're trying to create with your company, that means they're going to lose belief. And you as an operator, cannot expect people to give up their dreams just because your dreams are your dreams.

So you have a responsibility as the employer to your key people to create a scenario where they can create the life that they want within the system or the operation or the business or the organization that you're creating. And what it sounds like to me here is that you got it off the ground. She was an integral part of what you did. She probably feels like she was going to be a big part of the business. You sort of coasted for a little bit.

She got bored, all right, meaning you didn't continue to grow fast. And now she's detached from the business for whatever reason. It sounds like you have a really good employee that might just need to be brought back in and talked to and explained like, hey, man, you're a key part of this. This is what's going on. In fact, I need you to do this and this and this.

Would you be willing to come back and that extra day a week if I could give you this? Right? So you have to understand, dude, just like you pointed out in your email, just because it's your dream doesn't mean it's someone else's dream. And if someone else doesn't see their dream inside of your dream, it's a very high likelihood that they're not going to stay. So you, as an operator, the best thing that you can do is to consistently paint a big vision, consistently reinforce with your employees where their vision fits inside that vision, and then consistently show them what they need to do to get to that point.

And if you can do that and then also accompany all of those clear communications and upward mobilities and requirements for them to get there, you also couple that with becoming their coach, their personal development person, the person who sits down with them and says, okay, here's what you need to improve. You need to do this, this, this, and this. Now you have someone who's fully engaged. They understand the path that they're on. They understand that you're going to teach them how to get there.

And that person is very unlikely to just bail on you. All right. What it sounds to me is, and this is limited, I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like you had someone who was really bought in. You got a little distance between you and that person. They started to realize that, you know, or whether it's true or not, they started to feel like this was just a position that was being filled by them.

And that's not what they expected. What it sounds like they expected to me was for them to be working hand in hand with you to build the company, which is a great thing, and it sounds like that's what you want. So what I would do is consider everything I just said, sit down with a person, have a real conversation, and then use this as a learning lesson to not let people feel like they're not an important part of the mission that you're on when they, you know, that they are. Yeah. So let me ask you this.

Keith
Cause I feel like that that's a misconception. Like, you know, going back, I don't know. You know, you look at how business was done 50 years ago, right? It's. There's.

You come in, you work, and then I give you this little check that you can cash at the bank, right? And it's a very cut and dry relationship. And so now, you know, here we are in 2024. Your business, that. That's.

It's not how that should be done anymore. No, most business still is done that way. But when you're trying to grow and you're trying to be exceptional and you're trying to do something special, it's going to require buy in, it's going to require passion. It's going to require people who are committed to the purpose. And something that's different about the younger generations now, as opposed to the older generations then that you speak of, is that people want to be inspired by a purpose.

Andy Frisella
They want a mission that's bigger than just collecting a check. All right? You can get a check anywhere. But accomplishing a mission and being part of a mission and being part of a real purpose that does good things for people, that's rare. And that's a huge advantage for you as a business owner.

If you could figure out what that is and lean into that, because not only will it inspire your employees, but it will also help your customers get the most value possible from your brand, your product, your service, which will drive revenue. A lot of people like to say things like, oh, Gen Z is worthless. Millennials are worthless. I don't know. I built some pretty good companies with Gen Z and millennials, and I can tell you this.

They don't want to just show up and get a fucking check. They want to be involved. They want to contribute. They haven't really felt special anywhere else in their entire lives. They come up through a school system that doesn't make them feel like they're anything special.

In fact, it squashes their dreams and their hopes to try to get them to conform. So when you really think about it, the younger people, it's not that they're lazy. It's just that they want something better to do while they're getting paid. They want to do something that matters. They want to do something they're passionate about.

They want to do something that fulfills them in a mission, not just getting a check. So it's a generational difference, and it's not common. It's only common to you because you're around these businesses. Most companies just don't operate that way. They do.

They say, come in, get your check, go the fuck home. Leave me alone. You're not going to get the best people to work for you there, because the best people are no longer working for just money. They're working for mission, purpose and fulfillment. Yeah.

And so you have to figure out what that is for your business if you want to keep the best people. So if you want to build a business that is going to be undeniably changing lives, you have to offer the employees more than just a paycheck, is what you're saying. Yeah. The person development. Yes.

Keith
Investing in their personal. Yeah. Listen, the idea of you guys hiring millennials, Gen Z's, people like that who are younger, who have the skill sets you need, who have the understanding of technology, the idea that you're just going to pay them and they're going to show up and give you their best work, that's not in congruence with the way that they view the world. They view the world as. This is my opportunity to do something that matters.

Andy Frisella
I'm going to trade my time for money, and that's okay. But I want the time that I trade for money to mean something. I want it to matter. I want it to affect people in a positive way. And too many of you guys that run businesses or manage people, you totally leave that off the table.

And you expect motherfuckers to show up and work like you're going to work for a dollar. They're not going to do that. That's not going to happen. You might get some people that are going to show up and get a check and go home, but you ain't going to like those people, and you're not going to like having them work for you, because guess what? They're not going to give a single fuck about what it is you're trying to do.

Keith
Yeah, that's so real, man. It's so real. Like, and I get this a lot. You know, when. When people come in to even hear a first woman, they're like, you know, you got a lot.

You got an army here of people that are willing to run through brick walls, but when you look at the. All of the investments that get put in outside of just a typical paycheck. Right. Like, it makes sense. Well, they care.

Yeah. They care about what they're doing. They want to contribute. They want to build. They want to be relevant.

Andy Frisella
They want to be a part of the team. A lot of people who manage people, they manage people with the perspective that these people are lazy and they don't want to contribute and they don't want to do anything, and that's how they treat their whole team. But the reality is, is people are not lazy. People are just uninspired people. It's not that people are apathetic.

It's that you haven't given them anything to care about. So when you fix that in your leadership style, that unlocks a whole new level for people to come in. High quality people that are passionate, who care, who care about your customers, who come in and drive revenue, because the customer gets the most value out of those people, then your company makes more money and those people make more money. So the amount of value that you deliver in a very literal sense is very, very, very parallel to how much you're going to get paid or how much company your company is going to make. It's not.

It's. There's no other secret than that. If you over deliver and you're the best and you do the best, you're going to do the best in business. And it's the same looking at yourself as a business within an organization. If you're the highest skilled, if you're the best guy or girl, if you deliver the most value, you're going to make the most money.

And that's how it works. Yeah. I love it. I love it. Guys, Andy, guys, question number two.

Keith
Hey, Andy. My question for you is, I'm a diesel mechanic and relief driver for a local fleet that does dust control work. So this time of year is busy as hell, to say the least. My other job is a driver for another fleet. My question is, when you get bombarded with so much work you can't handle, what do you recommend I do?

Do I talk to my employer, as it seems that, you know, they kind of let it go in one ear and out the other. I keep saying it's my bitch voice and I'm trying not to listen to it, but I also work another local job and I have no time for rest. Lucky if I even get a few hours of rest in any given night and it's becoming unsafe, especially operating rigs, I guess. What would you recommend to, to do to keep the grind and run like a raped ape? Or should I tell.

Should I tell one of the two employees, like employers, hey, my plates full. I need to have it toned down so I'm being safe in my job. I mean, if they won't listen to what I have to say about my health and safety operating unit and I probably just don't belong there. Yeah. What do you do when you get overwhelmed?

Is that. Is that a thing? How do we. First of all, you got to make sure that you are overwhelmed. And you're not just one of these people who's ineffective at what they do, all right?

Andy Frisella
Because most people will say, oh, my God, I'm so overwhelmed. I got so much work. And then you look at them and they're not actually overwhelmed at all. They're just completely ineffective at what they do. They waste their time on the Internet.

They scroll, they watch movies, they fuck around. And because of that, they feel overwhelmed because their shit piles up and they don't get any of it done. Not saying that's the case, but that's what most people do. So I would first check, am I actually overwhelmed? Okay, are you overwhelmed?

Yes, I'm overwhelmed. How do I address that? All right, well, we work on being more effective one. All right? Because that will reduce the overwhelm.

But if it's actual overwhelm in terms of your workload, and that's a real thing and you can be honest about it. Yeah, you've got to say something, especially when it has to do with your safety, especially when it has to do with the quality of the work that's getting done. Because if you're doing lesser quality work just to do more work, you're going to be seen as invaluable. And this brings up a bigger. This makes up a bigger aspect for people, which is we have to understand that you could only work your way up the chain so hard.

All right? At some point, you have to start thinking, how am I going to leverage my energy to get a more lucrative situation going for myself? Right? Like, if you have to, if you're a tattoo artist and you get paid for the amount of tattoos that you do, there is an upper limit to what you can earn, because at some point in time, you're not going to be able to charge any more money and you can't do any more work. So how do you make that into something that's lucrative?

Well, you have to think differently. What could I do? Could I create some aftercare tattoo products? Could I create my own tattoo gun? Could I create this?

Could I open up my own shops and do this? Or what? You have to think about it differently so that you can leverage out your energy for more money. So, yes, address the overwhelm, but realize that if you stay in this situation where you're just burning yourself down and you keep saying, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, you're not going to get any more reward because there's only so much you can actually do. All right?

So think about it. What could you do? What changes could you make that would not only reduce your overwhelm, but increase the amount of money that comes to you or that goes into your bank account. These are things that most people don't realize because they're so indoctrinated by the hustle culture that's on the Internet, which is work, work, work 47 hours out of 24. We have two.

We have two extremes on the Internet, okay? We have work 47 hours out of 24 and ten days a week out of seven. Okay? Never fucking sleep, ever. That's one.

Then we have the other one. I can make a million dollars in five minutes for my bed with my dick in my hand, right? Okay. That's the other extreme. So the truth is.

Where do you think the truth is? Somewhere in the middle. The truth is in the middle, okay? You've got to expend your energy in an effective way, and it has to be on a project that's going to produce money, produce a result that you're looking for, and you've got to figure out what those things are. That's why the power list is such a valuable tool that you can get for free at episode 16 on the audio feed only.

It's such a valuable tool because it teaches you how to be effective and move forward without using all of your time and grinding yourself into dust, which is counterproductive anyway. So that's how I would look at that problem. Yeah. Let me ask you this about the cause. Cause you talk about the being inefficient, right?

Keith
And it just came in my mind. It's like, you know, if you're. If you are good at something, right, and you've been doing something for ten plus years, right, you should be pretty efficient, you would think, because you got the skills and. And so does the input. When you talk about the input, like, you don't have to put that.

Like, you be more efficient. Are you still putting in Max fucking effort, or does. Will it appear as if you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, I do. So in the beginning, you don't have skills, so you have to put in more effort.

Andy Frisella
Okay? And the more effort you put in, the more time you put in, the quicker your skills develop. As time goes by, your skill set goes up, which means you can usually do more effective work in less amount of time. All right? So when you start, it's effort, effort, effort, low skills.

And as you get good, you can get way more result with less effort. But these people, that, they don't really make the money. It's the people who continue to work with the high skill and the high effort who out produce everybody else and end up winning and making the most money and becoming the most successful. So, yeah, there, there's people who, when they get skilled, they tone down their work ethic and then they do okay, they can make the same amount of money with less effort. Fine.

Keith
Yeah. But they never really get any better. So the goal here for this show is for you to be the best that you can be. So I would recommend that you put in as much effort as you possibly can and have as much skill as you possibly can and produce the best possible result. That's what we do here.

Andy Frisella
We're the best possible result. Not okay, not get by, not settle. Right? Yeah. I love it.

Keith
I love it. Guys. Andy, question number three. Hey, Andy. I'm 20 years old, and I'm very curious to hear what your thoughts are on the fear of missing out or FOMo.

I look around and I see people my age graduating college and attending these big parties. I've never been president, and obviously I feel like I'm lonely. I'm not antisocial or anything. In fact, I'm the opposite. Just wondering what your thoughts are on this.

Please and thank you. Fear of missing out fomo. If you do what everybody else does, you'll be like everybody else. It's that simple. When I was coming up through business, all my friends were getting, quote unquote, real jobs, and they were making 60, 7100 thousand dollars a year.

Andy Frisella
And they were looking at me and they were saying, when are you going to grow up? We're out here doing this, and they're going on these vacations and they're doing all these things. And guess what I had to do. Oh, I had to work seven days a week. But guess what?

Over the course of time, that begins to change. And now every single one of those motherfuckers in the exact same position they were in 20 years ago, and I'm not. And you know what happens when things like what's happening in the world now are happening where people are getting laid off? Do you know what they do call you? They fucking call me.

And instead of saying, when are you going to get a real job? They say, hey, you think I could interview for your company? You got any real jobs over there? There you go. Okay, so when you sit here and you watch all these people and they continue to go do all these things that seem to be super fun, just realize that there's a cost to those things that you're not going to see until down the road all right?

Right now you're looking at everybody and you're thinking, fuck, dude, I don't get to do any of this shit they get to do and how all this fun, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, except you don't see them when you're 23. You don't see them at 40 or 50, all right? I'm old enough where I see those people at 23 who laughed at me, those people who were doing all this shit, making me feel like shit, what I was doing. I now know what their lives are like at 40 years old, okay?

And let me tell you, it ain't that great. And if you go ask any of them, they'll say, oh, well, this is what I wanted because I'm a humble person and this is all I needed. Yet if you go out and you put three beers in them, they're going to bitch about how much money they don't have and how they're in financial distress and how their marriage is fucked up because they don't have a way to fucking support everything and you can't do everything the wife wants to do. And blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, you know, I'm sitting there looking at him like, I thought you said is what you wanted.

You see what I'm saying? So we have to, as young people, you guys have to understand, yes, people are going to go out and do shit, and it's going to make you feel like, fuck, I should be doing shit, too. But those people are going to end up in a place that you don't want to be. And if you behave like those people and you listen to those people, you will be those people. That is the reality.

So many of you guys want to listen to your mom and your dad and your aunts and your uncles and your teachers, and if you actually gave an objective visual scan of their existence, you would realize they're broke, they're stupid, they don't know what the fuck they're doing. They're miserable, they're unfulfilled. Yet they feel qualified to give you all this advice about what the fuck you should be doing. If you don't want their life, you shouldn't listen to a fucking word they said unless it's something that gives you an indication about what not to do so that you don't end up like them. That's the reality.

So stop looking at your quote unquote friends at 23 years old thinking that those are your fucking friends. Those aren't your friends. Those are people you fucking grew up with. Those are people you went to school with. You don't even have any real friends at 23 because you have different goals, and you haven't met anybody that also has those goals.

Those will be your fucking friends, the people who will sit down with you and say, how can I help you win? You can help me win. That's fucking friendship, okay? Friendship is not just because you graduated high school with someone or just because you went to college with someone or just because you drank beer with someone. That's not friendship.

And we have to stop being loyal to people who we associated with when we were young thinking we owe them something. You don't owe them anything. The only person that you fucking owe is yourself. And what you owe yourself to do is to pay attention in a very honest and real way to everybody else's lives that are giving you advice and say, do I want that guy's life? Oh, I don't.

What about that one? No, I don't want that one either. No, I don't want that one. Oh, I don't want anybody's life that's telling me shit, which is likely the case. So what do you got to do?

You got to go find people who have the life that you want, and you start emulating what they do, and you try to get close to them, and you listen to what they say, and you guys live in the most privileged society ever when it comes to that. When I was 22 years old, we had books. We have fucking podcasts. We have rich motherfuckers who built empires telling us what the fuck to do. We have any of that shit.

We didn't have people that were willing to coach you or help you or do do anything for you. We had to read it in a book. I didn't fucking know anybody that was successful. You see what I'm saying? Now you guys turn on the Internet.

You see fucking all these people who are successful, which, by the way, most of them rely on just being honest. You got to dig in, like I've been talking about. What's their business? What's their product? Who are their customers, how long they've been doing it, what's their employee say?

Where's their headquarters? Can I order their product? How do they fulfill it? Do they have real shit going on? If you would just ask those questions, it'd be real easy to identify who was what.

Okay? But I can tell you this. You're not going to get rich overnight. You're not going to get rich in a fucking year. And the good news is it's not going to take you ten or eleven years like it took me, because you have technology that didn't exist.

So you guys grow up with this technology, and you also grow up with this ability to have access to people who have done these things, and you still bitch like it's hard. Fuck. You don't even know what fucking hard is, bro. You have no idea. Go try reading Tony Robbins books, and then deduce what you can from there and go start a business.

Keith
Right? And that's only. That's the only thing you got. Okay? You don't have the Internet.

Andy Frisella
You don't have cell phones. You don't have shit. You gotta go do it. You motherfuckers couldn't do it. You could.

You wouldn't go door to door knocking on doors. And if you wouldn't go door to door knocking on doors, you don't have what it takes anyway, because ultimately, it's whatever the fuck it takes. But basically, my message to you is, don't listen to motherfuckers that have never done anything, including your fucking friends, including your parents, including your aunts and uncles, including fucking anyone. If you want a better life, if you listen to them, you'll be like them. That is the bottom line.

So when someone's telling you what to do with your money, or how to live, or how to do this and how to do that, and how to do this, look at their fucking life. And I mean, really look at it. What kind of money they make, what kind of house do they live in, kind of car they drive, what's their family like, what are they like? And look at it very honestly, and then you could decide whether or not you could take their advice or not. I love that, man.

Keith
It's almost like, you know, one. One thing I pull from you, it's like, you know, when you get this idea of this, man, I'm gonna be missing out. Yeah. You are gonna be missing out on all the bullshit on the back end of that. Yeah, that's exactly right, dude.

Andy Frisella
Way to look at it. Not only that, dude, it's no different than making an investment in a fucking stock, okay? You're. Your stock is you, all right? You're 23 years old.

You're gonna make an investment in some stock. And because you made an investment in stock, that's money that you can't spend on going out to the bars, and you can't buy a car with it. You can't do this. You can't go to fucking Dubai. You can't do.

All because the money's invested in you because you're a stock, okay? And then over the course of time, that stock is going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And 20 years from now, you're going to have so much going for you that no one else around you is going to even have. And it's because they spent their energy capital, their money capital. They did not make that investment.

They went on the trip to Dubai. They went on the trip to fucking here and there. They fucking bought a car they couldn't afford. They did all these things they shouldn't have done, and they didn't make that investment in themselves. So there's no payoff over here.

So if you look at yourself like that and you look at it as a stock, all these things that you're missing out on, all this money that you're putting into yourself and not into Jordans and other bullshit, no one gives a fuck about, now you start to understand that these are investments that have a payoff. It's not a. It's not a sacrifice. The biggest lie told in personal development is this idea of sacrifice. How is it a fucking sacrifice if you're getting a payoff at the end?

It's only a sacrifice if there's no payoff. So whatever you're missing, whatever effort you have to put in, whatever you have to endure, that is an investment. That is not a sacrifice. What are you missing out on? You're missing out on going to a bar with a bunch of drunks, drinking some shitty beer with a bunch of fat bitches.

That's what you're. That's what you're. Then do that, and then you'll fucking have all these problems your whole life, bro. Or take the time now and say, I'm gonna become this and this and this, and realize what the fuck you're gonna become and dedicate yourself to it. And eventually you will be that and nobody else will be.

That's how it works, man. You're not missing out on shit. You just feel like you are because your friends think they got one up on you right now, but they don't because you'll be the one with the last laugh when you're not having to work at fucking wendy's when you're 40 years old. Real shit, man. That's real shit.

Keith
A little extra sauce for the people. Right on their face. Right in their ears. Right in their ears. And up their nose to bald eagle.

Andy Frisella
It's called the bald eagle. Is that what? That. I just heard it. Dictionary.

Whatever Joe says is true. Probably. It's called the bald eagle. Bald eagle. All right, we'll call it that.

Bald eagle. These motherfuckers. Why does it gotta be bald? Why can't it be the black eagle? Yeah, I got you brown eagle.

I got you the chocolate eagle. Chocolate eagle. That sounds like something I don't want, though. I don't want that. If we're being honest.

Keith
I don't want that. They don't sound good. The chocolate. I'm gonna chocolate. I'm alright.

Andy Frisella
Sounds like it's got poop in it. That's what I'm saying. Guys, any question about four? Let's, uh, let's knock this one out, guys. Stay away from the chocolate eagle.

Keith
Chocolate eagles. Here's question number four. No chocolate eagles. Right. Um.

Andy Frisella
Uh. Uh. Question number four. Hope this message finds you well. It does.

Thank you.

I mean, look at me, bro. I'm doing good. I'm tan, I'm jacked. Juicy as fuck. Got my shit going on.

Yeah, probably pretty good haircut today. Oh, look at you, man. That's right. Yeah, so, yeah, I'm fucking good. All right.

Keith
We should take some yearbook photos. We should take some glamour shots. Glamour shots? That would be more appropriate for us. That sounds like another urban.

Andy Frisella
You'd be in on that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. That's your style. I know.

Keith
Yeah, it's a glamour shot. You actually don't know about. You don't know what a fucking glamour shot is? Uh oh. Don't act like you didn't do them back when you were doing your twinkle toes.

No fucking way. I'm not. No, I'm not fucking. Yeah, that's you. I bet you got family photos.

What? The glamour shots. I don't know if I'm on the right website. You are. Hold on, bro.

Wait. What the fuck? Hold on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Andy Frisella
We should do glamour shots where I dress up as you, you dress up as me. Yeah, that's it, dude, images. Hit images.

There used to be places in the. Bro, look at the guy with the fucking cat. That's fucking Keith.

Those are in the mall. Yeah, bro, they had stores like that. And there's you right there. Two over from Keith. This one.

No, that's Sean Connery, bro. Now look. Look at the guy with the cat and then look. Two over. That's you.

Don't try to pull my move. Only I can pull that move. Well, what the fuck? Yeah, I feel like this is a rabbit hole. I don't want to go down.

Keith
You. You want to do this? Yeah. Well, this is somebody's auntie. Yours.

Andy Frisella
All right, let's do this. All right. I know you're enamored. I mean, I didn't know these were, like. That's what these were called.

Hey, man, this is what white people do. It is from. I have not. There was not one black person in there. There wasn't?

Keith
No. Makes sense. No, we got some. We got some black people. You guys do other shit.

Andy Frisella
Like, you all wear, like, the same airbrush shirt and shit.

What? Free TJ. It's so funny. It's a fucking truth. So true.

It's so true. We don't do that. No, you know what we know we do? We stand around and say, man, that motherfucker was stupid. You guys get white t shirts made with airbrush and talk like he's a motherfucking hero.

We're like, dude, that dumb ass got his ass shot. You guys are marching. Hmm. Yep. Anyway, enough with today's racism.

Let's move on, bro. They used to take the pictures and, like, the. Made it look like they were in a wine glass. No, you guys do that shit where you all wear white, all white shit, too. White people try to do it, too, but it looks ridiculous.

Keith
Well, they call it something else. What do they call it? Morse bar. Oh, yeah, we do.

How'd you miss that one? How'd you miss that? We can't all be perfect.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, we don't go to those parties.

Keith
Bro. Oh, man. Okay, we got. I got. Yeah.

All right, guys, question. Question number four.

Andy, I'm curious to how you keep calm in situations that present distress. I don't. More specifically, when people are being deliberately worthless humans. So here's the example. I am drinking at a bar.

They finally bring out my pizza after taking. So it's you being deliberately worthless.

They finally bring out my pizza after taking long the entire time prior to me even ordering the pizza. And when it finally arrives, it's not how I asked for it. I have tipped a few dollars for every beer I got and an extra five for the pizza to combat the negativity. Yet the manager was still completely out of line with my mojo. I was beyond kind and asked that it be properly cooked.

And his quick response was, well, we already put it in the oven initially to make it extra crispy. I got my refund. I don't play that shit. Left half a full glass of wine. What are some real life applicable instances?

You can provide an example, proper solution to by the way I work in the service industry. And I'm not faulting the servers, bartenders. But the manager is an idiot. All right, so here's what you do. You go out and you marry a girl from the country.

I know where this is going. Yeah, this is why. Because if you marry a girl from the country and someone fucks with your food, they'll kill them. You don't have to do anything. I would do shit.

Yeah. My food gets fucked up, bro. Emily's on it. Yeah. She just kills him.

Yep. Puts him in a fucking hole. We go home. Yeah, that's how it works. Feeds them to the ducks.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, that's it. Ducks. Ducks feet. Ducks eat good. I mean, real talk.

Yeah, just get yourself a woman that won't tolerate no shit. Cuz there's nothing worse than having to complain about your food. It's always. Yeah, yeah. As a man.

Keith
Yeah. Like. Like if you. Especially for me, like it. Listen.

Andy Frisella
Why's that come.

I don't get it. You're what? It's all right. You're big.

Keith
I'm a big man. I saw the beast start to come out. I figured that's what you're gonna say. No, they think I'm gonna rob the fucking restaurant.

Andy Frisella
Dude, listen, you know what? Unfortunately, you know, the world needs people to cook the fucking fries. You know, I'm saying? And you're gonna deal with people like that and service here and there. I think most people try to do the best that they can.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. And if it's a situation that just cannot be resolved and can't be taken seriously, I just don't go back. And that's how places go out of business. The market decides what's gonna make it and what's not gonna make it. The places I go, I only go to three places, dude.

And they all got tremendous service. And that's honestly why I go there. I go there because of the service. The food is great in all three places, but the service is what matters. And you know what I notice now in culture is this, uh.

Is this idea where like, people. Dude, after Covid, service really got fucked up. Oh, bro. Before COVID everybody, it was. It was pretty good.

After Covid, now we have this entitlement mentality amongst the service industry that they deserve some sort of reward or tip or whatever just for existing, for breathing, right? Like, you notice how much people are trying to get us a tip on now fucking everything. All right. Let me tell you something. If you work in the service, you should have no problem earning tips.

But it's earning tips, okay? And because the service is so poor across the board, if you are just reasonably good at your server, you are going to make so much fucking money because people are so accustomed to people not giving a fuck. So while I don't have a solution for you other than say your piece and don't go back and maybe write a review, you know, a real review, I don't. I'm not for these people that just go straight to, like, trying to kill places because they fucked up. I give benefit because I own businesses and I understand things can get fucked up.

But if you have a situation like that's unreasonable, I think it's reasonable to say something. And while this may not answer your question, for all of you servers out there that say shit like, nobody respects the servers, nobody tips this. If you ain't tipping 20%, then fuck you. No, fuck you, okay? Because your tip is based upon the extra mile service that you provide.

Your job is to bring me my fucking food, okay? But if you bring it with a smile and you're happy and you're fun and you're cool, and you make good conversation, you keep my drinks going, and everything comes out right, and you're nice and pleasant, you're gonna make. Bro, I usually tip like 100% of the fucking meal anywhere I go, okay? So if you see me coming, you're gonna get two options. You're gonna get 100% or you're gonna get fucking nothing, and that's it.

And I think a lot of people feel that way. I think a lot of people tip very good for great service. And they don't tip shit for you, thinking that you deserve a tip. It's the entitlement generation, people. Still, the free market is the free market, bro.

And the market will always dictate what things are worth. And if no one's tipping you, it's because you suck. Okay? I know plenty of people in service industry that make a fuck ton of money. They work in high end restaurants.

They're making tons and tons of money. You know why? Because they work their fucking asses off to make sure that the experience is good. And a great experience is worth money to people. So if you're one of these servers that thinks everybody owes you, just remember, they don't.

They don't owe you a tip. And there'll be people that will make a point out of not tipping you just because you're mediocre, okay? It used to be like, if you went to a restaurant and service was just mediocre. It was a normal thing to not tip. Yeah, that was normal.

Now it's like, if you went in there and you got shitty service and you don't tip 25%, they post you on the Internet. Well, go ahead and post me and then I'll talk about how shitty you were. You know what I'm saying? I feel like there's a flip side there, man. Like, because I actually had this experience this past weekend, bro, I was in a restaurant and sometimes the people can just be assholes.

Keith
And I wide no doubt this is an everyday thing, the most common situation, but, like, dude, this. This dude and his wife, they were just being fucking assholes. Customers. Yeah. Cause the customers, yeah.

And, like, they didn't tip and they fucking left, like, everything, you know, it was worse experience. I think they were just trying to get the shit comped. Right, of course. But I, bro, I felt so bad. Cause I was kind of overhearing this, that I fucking tip that server.

Andy Frisella
Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Just because I just felt bad. Well, there's people like that for sure. That's not.

Keith
Let's address those fuckers. I mean, they're pieces of shit, bro. There's pieces of shit everywhere you go. Yeah. It's not, you know, another thing I see is wait staff like this always say, this is black people that do this.

Andy Frisella
There's all kinds of people that do this. I've worked in wait staff, I've worked in service. I know what the fuck this is about. There's lots of people that just try to get free shit and it's not indicative of their fucking race. Okay.

There's pieces of shit. And if you're someone in service and you treat every single person as if they were that one piece of shit that you dealt with that day, you're never going to make any money. So that's not a good strategy. The right strategy is to say, well, I know that one out of the 30 tables I had was shitty, but I'm going to treat all those other, all of them the same, knowing that the balance is going to equate and come out in my favor. Right.

Keith
You have short term memory loss. Yeah, for sure. You can't, dude, it's just like sales, man. Like, if you quit selling the minute someone says no, how are you going to win if you keep. If you quit providing extra value because someone was mean to you and didn't appreciate it, how you going to win if you quit working hard because your boss didn't see you or acknowledge you for this one thing.

Andy Frisella
How are you going to get better? And people shoot themselves in the foot more often than not by having this attitude of, well, I could do all this work, and it won't be appreciated. Just because it wasn't appreciated one time doesn't mean it won't be appreciated. Just because you got passed over one time doesn't mean you won't get, you know, get to go up two or three spots the next time. That's not the way it works.

The way the world works is this. You give the best you can every chance you get, and eventually it works out. And that's how it works, dude. There's no exceptions to that either. I love it.

Keith
I love it. Most people will say there's exceptions to that, but what's actually happened is they got passed over once or twice and they've given up. So now, in their mind, their identity is, I work really hard. I go the extra mile. I do all these things when they're really not.

Andy Frisella
They're not being honest with themselves. And then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Right, because they got passed over that one time, or they had one bad table, they had one bad experience, and they actually have quit doing all these things. But in their mind, they still identify themselves with the person who did all these things before, but they're not doing them now. And then they end up losing, and then, you know, they're bitter at everybody.

They have. You know, it's unfortunate that so many people in the world lack the ability to look in the mirror and be honest. Am I giving my best? Am I doing my best? Am I honestly giving what I could give?

Most people will say, yeah, of course I am. And then, you know, you're around them for an hour, and you're like, what the fuck is that? What's that? What's this? I thought you said this.

Oh, well, that's just this one thing. Well, your whole day is filled with one things that fuck you up. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, bro. They're delusional.

The best thing you could do for yourself is to not be delusional about the reality that that you live in and experience. Be honest. Are you good or you're not good? Are you fat? Are you not fat?

Are you good looking? Are you ugly? Be honest. Because if you're ugly, you got to work a little harder. Work a lot harder.

All right. Either way. But.

I'm just saying, man, just be honest. Yeah, be honest. If you're honest with yourself. The world is a lot easier to navigate. Real shit, man.

Keith
Guys, I love it. Yep. That's four. That was four. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
Come back for more. More. Brown chocolate eagles. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze, fuck up bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

Keith
Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze, fuck up bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

Andy Frisella
Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze, fuck up bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

Keith
Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze, fuck up bowl, fuck a stove, counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

712. Q&AF: Employee Grudges, Overwhelmed With Work & Fear Of Missing Out

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1. Introduction to Q&AF

2. Employee Management

3. Managing Overwhelm

4. The Impacts of FOMO

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Books

Content Warnings:

Transcript