705. Q&AF: Redirecting Your Team After A Loss, Difference Between Busy And Productive & The Golden Rule Of Respect

DJ
Yeah went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze fuck up bow fuck up stove counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold dust a no head shot case cloak. Cloak. What is up, guys? It's Andy Frostella and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society.

Andy Frisella
And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys. Today we have Q and af. We always like to start the week off with some good knowledge in your dome. And that's what we're going to do today. Now, if you want to submit questions for the show, there's a couple ways you can do that.

The first way is, guys, you can. Email these questions into askandyforsella.com, or you. Can go on YouTube in the comments sections of the Q and a F episodes and drop your question in there. We'll answer some from there as well. Now, through the week, we're going to have different formats of the show, their shows within the show.

Okay? Tomorrow you're going to hear CTI. That stands for cruise the Internet. Cruise the Internet is where we put topics on the screen. We speculate on what's true, on what's not true.

We try to figure out what's really going on, and then we talk about what we, the people have to do to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times, we're going to have real talk. Real talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard verses. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live Hard program, which is available for for free at episode 200 and 875.

Hard and live Hard are the world's most popular mental transformation programs in history. And they're free. You get them for free at episode 208 on the audio feed. Now there is a book called the book on mental Toughness available on my website, andyforsella.com dot. It will go through the entire Live Heart program, plus ten extra chapters on mental toughness, why it's important how you can apply it, and how you can use it to build the life of your dreams.

There's also some case studies in there of some very famous people. They talk about how they've used mental toughness to get where they're going. And yeah, it's not required, but if you're someone like me that likes to know the ins and outs, it's a great book. We can't keep it in stock. So there's that.

Now, we do have a fee for the show, and the fee is very simple. You'll notice if you're a listener, that I do not run ads on the show. Probably the only podcast of this size that doesn't do that. I finance the entire show out of my pocket, and I do that because I don't want to answer to other people telling me what I can and can't say on the show. All right?

And in exchange, I ask very simply that you help us get the word out. We're constantly battling censorship, shadow bans, traffic, throttles on all platforms. And so for the show to get out, I need your help. And we call that the fee. So tell one person, man, every.

Every time you get an episode, if it makes you think, if it makes you laugh, it gives you a new perspective, teach you some new knowledge, which you're definitely going to learn today. Please share the show. And do that for every show, you know, if the episode's good, share it. If you don't get any value, no obligation. It's kind of on the honor system.

So don't be a ho. Share the show. All right. Hey, what's up, man? How you doing?

Good. Yeah. How are you? All right, man. It's.

DJ
It's good days. Monday. Yeah. Had a good weekend. Yep.

We're also here from the solar flares, apparently. Huh? Solar flares are coming in. Apparently. We had solar flares Friday night.

That's what they're saying. Hold on. Everybody knows we record the show on fucking Friday, man. Okay. I mean, is he fooling you guys?

Well, I didn't know if they do or not. Yeah, dude, I was trying to keep it in character. It is in character, except for the wrong one. Okay, well, we got solar flares tonight. So hopefully when you guys are listening to this, we're still here.

Andy Frisella
Dj's over here trying to pull fast one, you guys. I feel like that's how I've always done that, though. Yeah, but they know. Oh, you want to just pretend like it is? No, it's fine.

No, we'll just pretend. No, it's fine. We'll do it live. No, we'll just keep pretending the way you want it to be. I had a great weekend, man.

Okay, we'll do it live. What'd you do this weekend? What'd you do? I don't know yet.

What? Hold on. How was your weekend? Yeah, it was. You know, I don't.

DJ
Yeah, it was good. Was it? What'd you do? Oh, fuck, dude, they're on to us. Just trying to, you know, keep it right.

You know, we'll do it live. Fuck it. We'll do a live. I do want to start doing the show live, I think our Monday. I think.

Andy Frisella
I think we should start doing the. Show live on Mondays. Yeah, we do them at like 10:00 a.m. In the morning, bro. And then like, just produce them into a regular episode.

DJ
It has to be on Tuesdays, though. Why? Because we record on Mondays for the CTI's. No, no, it'd be live. A live CTI?

Andy Frisella
Yeah. Oh, it'd be live. Like, we would put the Internet up there and we just start talking about it. All right. Yeah, I'm down with it.

Yeah, we just started doing that.

You talking about, bro, when do you think I actually do my work? I do it before I come here. Before he starts playing entrepreneurs. Yeah, before I start playing. Yeah.

If I don't get up. If I don't get up early and take a couple hours at home, bro, I can't do it. You're up at 04:00 a.m.. No. Do you do your green tea regimen?

No, I'm up at 04:00 a.m. Taking a pee. Cause my enlarged prostate. Cause I'm in my mid forties. Yeah.

All right, let's do the show. Oh, shit. These people trying to get better, telling them lies. That's crazy.

DJ
Fuck, man. I just say that so I can get the finger in the butt, you know? Hey. Yeah, I gotta be do that. Huh?

Andy Frisella
Huh, boy. All right, let's go. Come on. Let's make people better, man. That's what we're here for.

DJ
Hope you guys are having a great start to your Mondays. I had a great weekend, though. Yeah, weekend's fire. Yeah. Guys.

Andy, question number one. Hey, Andy, how do you redirect your teams after a loss? My team, for the most part, have been grinding and working towards our goal for this grant for the last six months, and just plainly it didn't get it. I've been scratching my head trying to figure out where we went wrong, but, man, I think for all of us, just kind of mentally drained right now. What have you found to be the best way to redirect and recover, to move forward for the teams?

Andy Frisella
Well, look, this is going to happen over and over and over again. There's going to be a number of times through your business career where you're going to work very hard towards something. You're going to have your team putting a lot of effort into things and it just doesn't work out. That's called entrepreneurship and business. It's a normal thing, and it does suck the wind out of your sales.

Right. When you have all this investment and all this time and all this energy and all this money invested into a project and it kind of fizzles and doesn't work out the way you want it to, it can be completely demoralizing for everybody. But it's up to the leader of the team to come in and remind them that this is the way it goes sometimes. Okay? Just like sports, just like any other competitive endeavor, we're going to have situations where we put all of our practice time, all of our effort, we're going to train hard, we're going to eat right, we're going to do everything that we can, and we're still going to lose the game sometimes.

And that's the reality. So the best thing that you can do is to walk in and say, hey, guys, I know that we've put a lot of effort in. I appreciate, I'm very proud of the effort that you put in. Nobody here was an anchor in the boat. Everybody here was doing what they could do.

It just didn't work out. What do we learn through this process? And then I start writing on the board. I say, I let them have an open forum. What do, what do you think we learned?

One person raised their hand. We learned this, right? I write that on the board. That's a good thing. What else did we learn?

We learned how to do this. Okay, that's a good thing. We learned how to do this. Okay, that's a good thing. Now we learned all these new things as a group, as a team.

Let's figure out how we can apply them moving forward, because let's not forget, guys, that we have this bigger mission that we're working on. And even though this didn't work out, we still have this to do. So let's put this behind us. Let's chalk it up to a learning lesson. We all learned.

We all got better, and now let's move forward on this and automatically shift their. Their wallowing or their, you know, feeling bad or their negative feelings towards the situation into a new mission as quickly as possible. Because if you let them wallow in it or sulk in it, it makes it worse. It festers, it starts to get infected, and then you develop things like, you know, cancerous people in the organization who are like, man, you know, we did all that shit and it didn't work out. Well, fuck, dude, that's how the business works.

That's part of the deal. So the main thing you got to do here is you have to acknowledge them for the hard work they put in. You have to take inventory of the lessons that we learn, and then we have to pivot into a new mission immediately. Okay? So once we say, hey, that was yesterday, the loss is over.

This is what it is. We're going to move forward here. And interesting enough, the same formula applies when you have a big win, all right? When you have a big win, you're going to go in there and you're going to say, all right, guys, good job. We won.

What do we learn? We learned this. We learned this. We learned this. We learned this.

We learned this. Okay? Now realize we can't ride that win. We can't sit here and say, oh, we did this one time. That's just part of the bigger mission.

All right? We have this big mission to do. So from today on, we're going to focus here. So the process of addressing a loss or addressing a win is structurally the same, right? Acknowledge the work, take inventory of the lessons, redirect into the mission, and move forward from there.

Does that make sense? Makes perfect sense when you talk about specifically on the lost side of things, right? Acknowledging the hard work. You know, like, in this case, because it sounds like two things can be true at once, right? Like, yes, you guys worked their ass off, but still another, the other team was just better, right?

DJ
Or whatever. Well, dude, there's lots of things that could happen, man. I mean, look, it's. Sometimes it's not even better. Sometimes in business, it's, you know, you're working on a grant and the other guy at the company is.

Andy Frisella
His uncle's on the grant board, right. There's things like. Yes. So there are. There.

There are things that are out of our control relationship wise in business, that sometimes, you know, we can work very hard to be the best option and still lose. And that's not very often, but it could happen. And that. What I'm saying and the reason I'm bringing this up is there are things out of our control that could dictate whether we win or lose, but we have to control what we can control the best of our abilities and present the best possible outcome that we are in control of. Yeah, let me.

DJ
So. So with that on, the acknowledging the hard work in a loss environment, what does that look like specifically, like? I mean, is this. Are we still doing a fucking pizza party? Are we doing a dinner night?

Andy Frisella
No. You know what I'm saying, like, no, we're. But we don't. We also don't really do that when we win. It's a 24 hours rule.

Okay? There's a 24 hours rule. You have a 24 hours to feel bad about a loss. You have 24 hours to feel good about a win. After that, we're moving forward.

All right, so you. You know, no, there's no formal pizza party. It's. It's very simple. Like, hey, guys, I really appreciate everything that you've done.

We worked really hard. I know. You know, you might want to point out a few key people that led that part of the deal. This guy did this. You guys did this.

You guys did everything you could. I know. You did everything you could. Sometimes things don't work out, and that's the way it is. And then you move into, what do we learn?

And then you move into what we're going to do next. And it's the same thing when you win. The process is identical. Dude, the problem that most people run into here is that when they lose, they sulk, and then when they win, they over celebrate. Okay?

And both are equally as harmful, because what happens is when you sulk, you start to believe that you can't do it, and things are really bad, and things get way. You know, things are made way worse in our minds, and we become ineffective. All right? When we win, we think we're better than we are, and we ride that win so long that we also become ineffective. So either way, if you give too much time or too much attention to the win or the loss, you lose the ability to stay effective.

Does that make sense? Makes perfect sense. Okay, so we want to. We want to acknowledge the effort, take inventory of the lessons, pivot into the new mission, and make sure that the loss or the win is only talked about or celebrated for 24 hours. That is the formula for addressing and getting people pivoted back on the path.

Because, dude, this question is very, very, very close. Like, if you just substitute the word big win and for big loss, it's the same structure of how to handle it. Because if you let your fucking team ride on a win for six months, during that six months, you're gonna get your ass beat, because there's business to be handled tomorrow. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

DJ
That's real shit, man. I love it. Guys. Andy, question number two. Andy.

I've been finding it so easy to just be like, I'm kicking ass. I'm so busy. What's the difference between being busy and being productive? Is busy even a word that you use? Is that a word that should be used?

Andy Frisella
Busy is a word that amateurs use. Amateurs take pride in bragging to everybody about how busy they are. Hey, man, what's going on? Oh, fuck, dude. I'm so busy.

I'm so busy. Okay, like, what else is going on? Fuck, I don't know. I'm just so tired. By the way, people who do that and they answer like that, keep those fucking people away from you, okay?

Those people are cancer. They're negative. They're in their feelings. They're fucking looking for sympathy. Here's the reality.

We're all fucking busy. Every one of us is busy. But only a select few of us is actually effective with the business that we concern ourselves with. All right? So it doesn't matter how busy you are.

That is not a badge of honor. There's no badge of honor. There's no award. There's no championship trophy for who the fuck the busiest is. That's just what weak people say, unproductive people say to deflect from their lack of results.

Okay? Now, if you ask someone who is actually producing results how things are going, they're going to answer like this. It's great, dude, we got this going. We got this going. We got this going.

They don't talk about the time that was put into it. They talk about the actual results that are being produced or the seeds that are growing that are soon to be harvested. All right? So it's two different mentalities. Losers fucking concern themselves with being busy.

Winners concern themselves with being effective. That is it. So remember that when you're dealing with high level people. Like, if I walk up to someone and say, hey, Steve, how's it going? So fucking busy.

How much time you got? Oh, fuck it. You're up here. I was fucking running myself to the boat, fucking exhausted. I'm gonna be like, fuck, I'm never talking to that guy again.

You know what I'm saying? Like, ever. Like, I'm not doing shit. I'm not doing business with them. I'm not fucking hanging out with them.

I'm not doing shit. If I go talk to, you know, Bob and I say, bob, how's it going? What's going on, bro? It's going great, dude. We got this going.

We got this going. We got this going. We're kicking ass. This, this, this. These are moving.

Well, he doesn't concern himself with how much effort it takes. He concerns himself with what result is being produced. Okay? And that is the difference between winners and losers. Winners fucking look at the results being produced.

Losers concern themselves with how much time they were spending. They're spinning their wheels. They are being ineffective. They think that there's some sort of an award for talking about how busy they are and how tired they are and how exhausted they are, when in reality it's a completely different language than what winners speak. Winners speak in terms of effectiveness, losers speak in terms of busy.

So remember that the next time you start to rant about how busy you've been. No one fucking cares. The world doesn't care how busy you are. The world doesn't care how much work you had to do. If you have to do that much work and you have, you're that busy, it means you're fucking not very skilled.

Because highly skilled people will produce results with less effort. That's the point. So if you, if you find yourself in a situation, and by the way, when you're just starting out in business and you don't know shit, you're going to be busy because you have low skill. But as you move and your skill gets acquired and you gain more and more and more of skill, the time invested to produce the result is less, less, less. Like, for example, 20 years ago, someone called me and said, hey, we got this problem.

I will fucking sit there all day being like, fuck, I don't know what to do. Just fucking do this. I don't know. And I sit there and think about it all day and busy myself to death about trying to solve this problem. Now, I've been doing it for 25 fucking years.

The same problem is they. And call me up, hey, we got this problem. All right, do this, this, this done. Go back to what the fuck I was doing, right? That's the power of having experience.

That's the power of becoming skilled, and that's who you want to be. You don't want to be the busy guy who accomplishes nothing. You want to be the effective guy that can be effective in the shortest amount of time possible. And then if you want to and you want to apply all that energy, think how much more productive work you could get done if you were busy and effective at the same time, on the backside with a lot of skill. And that's where the true killers live.

The true killers stay busy and effective and put in maximum energy. You could be very successful, though, just being high skilled and not putting in that much energy as well. So it just depends, man, on how far you want to take it. Like, for me, I invest all my energy and I'm highly skilled. Cause I want to fucking dominate.

That's what I want to do. So. But not everybody wants to win at that level. You know, people have different levels that they're comfortable at or where they want to go, and I can respect that. But you're saying for you, that's what's required.

Yeah, that's what, that's what I, that's what I want to do. I'm built for that. But the thing is, is like, dude, bragging about busy and talking about how busy you are, you're just indicating to everybody else that you're a fucking amateur. That's the truth. Okay?

Nobody cares. The world doesn't care. The world is ruled by results. The world is not ruled by effort, is ruled by results. So if you can't produce the results, it means you lack skill.

If you have to put in a bunch of effort to get something done, it means you lack skill. The more skill you gain, the less energy it takes to execute, which produces the result. So it's like a sliding scale, dude. When you first start takes tons of effort because you don't have skill. Later on, ten years down the road, you have more skill.

It takes less effort because you already know the answers. See what I'm saying? Absolutely. So that's how you want to do. And then if you want to get to the.

To the elite lead, you have high skill and high effort. Yeah, I love that. Let me ask you this, because I feel like this also leads into a topic of just. Just very simple self talk, you know, and the language that you use on a daily basis. Right?

DJ
What have you seen, I guess, you know, in your 25 years of words that you used to use back then or self talk conversations used to have back then that have changed outside of just this busy versus being productive conversation. What, like, how do winners talk? How should they be talking versus how. I think the biggest difference between people who win and people who lose is that winners expect to win. Winners are not surprised when they win.

Andy Frisella
Like, when I win, I don't, like, celebrate, overly celebrate, because I fucking expected that to be the outcome. All right? Amateurs, they, when they win, they're surprised, and then they over celebrate. And like I said, when they over celebrate, they become ineffective because they're taking their eye off the game for way too long, right? Oh, I fucking won the.

I won the week this week. And then they talk about that one week for the next six weeks, and the next six weeks, the guy who expected to win is still going just as hard. So it's an expectation. That's the difference between winners and losers that I think in terms of not so much their self talk, but just their attitude. Like, when I set out to do a project, I expect to win.

I don't expect anything else than I expect to be the absolute best. I expect to win. It's a legitimate, in my heart expectation, and anything less than that is a loss. And so people, you know, a lot of people, like, why don't you celebrate more? Why don't you take.

Because, dude, that's, that's the result that I expected, you know? And there's people who love to win, and then there's people who hate to lose. The people who love to win are usually people who don't expect to win, and it feels good for them. People who hate to lose usually expect to win all the time. And then when they lose, they're fucking infuriatious.

I'm a hate to lose person because I expect to win. And I think that's the biggest mentality. Difference between average or less than average and elite performers is the expectation of what they're going to produce. Yeah, well, would you also say, too, it's also the understanding of how a win is actually made? But, like, you understand that process of the inputs going into that, right?

DJ
That's why there's no surprise, right? Like, I know, I know it's fucking two because I did one plus one. I mean, yeah, that's part of it, man. But, but the other part of it is, is the attitude of I'm willing to do whatever the fuck is required to produce that outcome, right? A lot of people aren't wired that way.

Andy Frisella
Like, if I say I'm going to do x, like, if I say I'm going to build the next fucking Nike, which is what the fuck I'm doing, if I say that, which I say it all the time, I don't think people understand what I'm willing to do to do that. Like, I'm willing to do fucking whatever I have to do. If I have to go back to living on a fucking piss stained mattress for ten years to get there, that's what the fuck I'll do. I'll do whatever's required. Doesn't matter.

And I know that if I do whatever's required, that will be the outcome. But most people can't do that. Most people aren't willing to set their feet on the fucking line and say, bro, worth doing this no matter what, there is no fucking options. This is going to happen. That's not how most people think.

That's how I think. That's how other big winners think. People who don't win and who don't win big, they. They say shit like this. Well, that would be really cool.

That would be. That would be awesome. That would be awesome. And when I say shit, I'd be like, bro, this is gonna be fucking awesome. Not, it might be awesome.

Like, this is gonna be awesome. You see what I'm saying? It's slight differences in how people talk. And as you get more experienced, um, you know, with entrepreneurship and business and just winning in general, you can really easily pick up on someone's mentality by the way they talk about things. You know, people will say shit like, oh, man, that would be so cool if we were able to do this.

And I know that guy's never going to do that, right? But other than Lee, you know, fuck. Yeah, I know he's not. Because, dude, look, this is the most competitive game on the planet, dude. If you're not willing to fucking do whatever it takes, you cannot win at the highest level.

You can't really win at any level. And so when people say shit like, man, it'd be really cool if we were able to do that. That's not a very confident statement. A confident statement is, bro, we're going to fucking do that. And not only are we going to do that, we're going to do that no matter what the fuck happens.

And if we have to do this, if I got to sell my house, if I got to sell my fucking cars, if I got to go live in the fucking woods in a fucking tent, that is fucking happening. And that's how I look at things. And that's how all winners look at things. And it's a very. It's a zero option mentality.

Once you decide where the fuck you're going, you are going to get there no matter what. And that is a big, huge difference between people who win all the time and people who never win. It's just the expectation of what the outcome will be, because they understand that they will do fucking anything to get it. And that's. I think that's a fundamental difference.

Every winner I know, every fucking one of them, they don't. They don't pick a target and then say, man, I wonder if we can get there. They pick a target, and then they start thinking, okay, well, how can I get there? All right, I got to do this, this, this, and they. And then they go run the powerless play, okay?

They break it down into daily wins. Go listen to the episode, episode 16, it'll give you the whole. The whole playbook for free. They break it down, they take the big goal, they break it down into actionable steps to a daily basis. They execute those steps and they understand that they execute those steps every single fucking day.

Eventually you get there. If you go out to dig a hole in the fucking ground and you say the hole has got to be 20ft by 40ft. And you got a fucking. A shovel, a little bitty shovel, okay? A kid shovel.

And you go out there and you start shoveling. It doesn't really matter how much you got done the first day or the second day, as long as you kept moving, because eventually the fucking hole is going to get dug. All right? And that's the same thing in goals, it's the same thing in business. You show up every day, you chip away at it.

You don't quit and you keep going and it produces the result. And, dude, that's been my experience. Everything I've ever said I'm gonna do has happened because I'm willing to do fucking anything to do it. And I think that's the attitude that's missing amongst most people. Most people just have the attitude of, you know, oh, this would be cool if I could do this.

And that's just not good enough. It's not. It's not firm enough. It takes more than that. Yeah, that's real shit, man.

DJ
I love it. I love it, guys. Andy, question number three. Andy, what's your outlook on the golden rule? Give respect to get it.

I feel like in a perfect world, it sounds great, but I don't feel like that works in the real world. I would love to get your take on this. Is it true you have to give respect to get it? Or is it demanded? Is it.

Is it something else? I think. I think it depends on where you are in life. I think if your whole entire fucking life speaks for itself, you automatically usually get respect. Like, if you produce results at an undeniable level and everybody in the world knows it, and you walk in a room, they respect you.

Andy Frisella
Okay? The problem comes when all you motherfuckers who haven't done a motherfucking thing think that people owe you respect. They don't owe you shit. And what have you done to actually earn that respect? What is your track record?

Where are your receipts? Well. Oh, you were born. Oh, you're. You're equal to everybody, so you deserve that respect.

That's bullshit. Respect is earned through results. Respect is earned through commitment, through effort, through, say, doing what you say you're going to do and displaying that through everything in your life, and then people will respect you. We have a whole generation of people who believe they deserve respect for breathing the fucking air, and that's the problem. And if you guys would stop worrying about how much people respect you or don't respect you and started just worrying about what results you're actually producing, you'd get the fucking respect you're looking for, but nobody's going to give you respect.

Nobody owes you respect. And you need to get over your own fucking ego and realize that there's no reason to respect you if you've not actually done anything outside of basic human respect. Hey, how you doing? Nice to see you. You know, normal human kindness.

I'm talking about in the business world. I'm talking about in entrepreneurship. A lot of these young kids, they believe that they should get this respect because they fucking went and filed an LLC and they're starting a business, bro, you haven't done shit. And everybody who's done shit knows you haven't done shit. They don't owe you shit, they don't owe you fucking anything.

They don't owe you a fucking phone call, a fucking text, a fucking email back, because you're not deserving of that. You haven't put in the work, you haven't even shown that you produce any results. And I, dude, I see this every once in a while, dude, one of these kids will email me or get my email. They'll email me, they'll email me three or four times, and then they'll email and I won't answer. Or it'll be DM's, right?

They'll dm me three or four times talking about, you know, oh, I fucking, bro, I would love to pick your brain over a cup of coffee, motherfucker. You think I'm gonna give away my knowledge over to you for over a cup of coffee? I got 25 years of fucking knowledge and you wanna sit with me over a cup of fucking coffee? That's so fucking disrespectful to say to someone, stop saying that. But in my DM's, in my emails, you know, hey, I'd love to connect.

Hey, I'd love to connect. Hey, I think I could do this. Hey, I think I could do that. And I don't ever answer. Cause I'm like, who the fuck are you?

Okay, if. If you were who, if you were able to do the things you say, I'd know your fucking name. That's the reality. I'd be dming you. Yeah.

DJ
Yeah. And, dude, these kids think that, like, you owe them something, and then what eventually happens is they write some shit. You're not who I thought you were. You're fucking. You don't even send me an email back.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, motherfucker. Cause that's the way it works. You haven't earned my email back. Go out and produce some undeniable results. Become the best in the fucking world at what you do.

Like I am at what I do. Okay. And then I'll fucking email you back if I can recognize your name when it comes in or recognize your name in my DM. Do you want to do business with me? Then we could talk, but until then, shut the fuck up and go fucking earn your fucking respect that you think everybody owes you because you don't fucking deserve it.

You haven't earned it. Yeah, that's real shit. That's my take, bro. Yeah. I just feel like, you know, there's.

A lot of, you know, I've been. Seeing a lot more emails like this. There's a lot of just misconceptions, man. And I think it kind of just lends to the, you know, the work we do on the CTI side, right. But keeping this show clean, it's like there's just a lot of misalignment with.

Just how the world really works like that. It doesn't, you know what I'm saying? Like. And people get out in the real world, man, and it really fucks them up. Well, that's because they've been raised in an idealistic atmosphere for 20 years.

They've been told that just because you're alive, you're special. They've been told that just because you show up and compete, you get a trophy. They no shit. They're entitled. They believe that because they're in business, that you owe them your time and you do not.

And unless you can display some exceptional value, which you probably can't, because nobody will listen to you, you're not going to get anywhere with those people. You know, like, bro, you have to build your book. You have to build your list of results. You have to be able to tell them exactly, exactly what the fuck you've done. Exactly.

Hey, I did this. I did this. I did this. I did this. I did this.

I can fucking rip that off for anybody right now, bro. I got a business worth ten figures. Got a business worth nine figures. I got three business worth eight figures. I got fucking two number one podcasts, two fucking categories.

I created the world's biggest mental toughness program ever. You see what I'm saying? Like, if you've actually done shit, you could fucking, you know what the fuck you've done. It's impressive. And if I were to fuck, like, bro, if I want to do business with someone, it really doesn't matter who the fuck it is.

If I send them an email and they see my name in there, they write me back. Yeah, that's the, that's where you get respect. You get respect when you fucking earn the respect. And so, yes, the answer to the question is if you're, if you haven't produced undeniable results, you have to give the respect first, and you have to give it for a long time before you ever reciprocate it. I love it.

That's the answer, bro. I love it. People don't like it. People don't like it because they don't. They want to be respected for doing nothing.

They want to be celebrated for producing shit. They want to be told they're special. They want to be told they're, you know, a delicate little snowflake and they're the only one ever. And motherfucker, dude, you don't really understand how many fucking emails from people like you, people like me get on a daily basis just like that. Yeah.

And then they're like, oh, you don't respect me? No shit. The fuck have you done? I mean, yeah, you're right, I don't. Cause you haven't fucking earned it.

Do I respect you as a human being? Sure. If you were starving, I'd give you a fucking sandwich. I'd take, you know, that's not what I'm talking about here. That's different.

I'm not talking about elitism as a human. I'm talking about in the hierarchy of business, a lot of you young bucks, bro, you don't have a scorecard to show anybody. And the scorecard you do show someone usually is bullshit. And then once we figure out it's bullshit, I get on the phone with everybody else I know. I say, don't talk to that fucking guy.

He's full of shit. You can self destruct your brand behind the scenes without even knowing it just by being a dumb fucking emails. You think when you email me 17 times and then tell me off in the email that I don't fucking screenshot it and send it to everybody I know and say, look at this fucking idiot. Don't work with that guy. Right.

You know what I'm saying? You showed your true character. Yeah, but everybody does. That, like, you know, like, you know how many texts I get from, like, my friends in business locally and, you know, over the. Over the globe guys, you know, influencers, fucking big.

Big CEO's who are like, yeah, this fucking idiot's a scammer. This fucking idiot's. This. Here's what happened here. And you get blackballed out of the circle without even knowing it.

You see what I'm saying? Yeah, man. Yeah. A lot of you guys need to know your place and fucking operate there and be very respectful to the people ahead of you, because the people ahead of you can make or break you. You know what I mean?

DJ
That's real shit, bro. Yeah, bro. Don't be pouting because you didn't get the fucking attention you wanted from some big dog that you're trying to do business with. That's. You have to give the respect, bro.

Andy Frisella
They don't owe you shit yet. You have to earn it. So, yeah, you have to earn the respect. And by the way, if you are the big dog, you've also got to earn the respect. You don't demand the respect.

I don't come in here and demand respect. Actually, I think everybody would say it's the opposite. I'm in here taking out the fucking trash. I took out the fucking trash an hour ago. I'm in here picking up shit off the floor, straightening shit up, helping these guys with their shit.

There's not a person in here that could say, oh, he demands respect. No, motherfucker, I earn the respect every single fucking day with what I do. So it goes both ways. I love that, man. It's the truth.

Is that not true? Am I lying? Absolutely true. I haven't seen a difference in four and a half years. That's what I'm saying.

But, dude, I understand that I have to earn it from these people on a daily basis. If I. If I don't come in here for the next 60 days and I'm out on my instagram, fucking on the beach, guess what's going to happen to my respect level? It's going to go down. I expect a lot from our team, but I also give a lot to the same mission that they have, which.

Which. There's mutual respect there. You see what I'm saying? 100%. It's not this thing that you just.

DJ
Oh, I can be, you know, I can earn it. This day there's gonna last fucking forever. No, that's the other thing. It's like a shower. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
Just because you had it yesterday don't mean you have it today. For real? Yeah, think a little bit. Same thing with discipline, dude, if you don't fucking brush up your discipline today just cause you had it yesterday, it's gonna erode. It's a perishable skill, and respect is a perishable attribute as well.

So you have to give it consistently. It goes both ways. But the reason I went off on that tangent is because it's a big problem with the younger people. Like you guys fucking think anybody owes you shit? Nobody owes you shit.

You haven't done anything. The fuck have you done? Fuck you. I love it, man. I love it.

DJ
You want to do a little extra sauce? Yeah. Yeah. A little extra sauce? Yeah.

Andy Frisella
All right. Ooh. A little extra, little extra pepper on the chicken today. Let's not go that far. You know, I like my chicken unseasoned.

DJ
Don't want it too spicy. I don't want it too spicy. Motherfucker, you're the one who don't like spicy shit. No, I don't like hot shit, bro. You are the coolest.

Andy Frisella
No difference. Spicy and hot or to your biggest. Pussy when it comes to spicy shit. So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. There's a difference between something being spicy.

No, you're talking about there's two different things, hot and spicy. Okay, I see what you're saying. But you don't like hot shit. I do spicy. Little chicken curry, you know, I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah. All spice in there, you know, old babe. I like my chicken boiled with no spice.

I think it has something to do with my skin. Oh, no, you do, Joe. You guys over here boiling our chicken and hot dogs. All right, guys, any question number two for question number four. Andy.

I'm 17 years old, and I have. My first job interview in two weeks for a retail store in the mall. Can you give me some tips that would help me lock this down? I'm nervous, and I don't really know what to expect. What you got?

Tell the truth. Go in there. All right, I'm giving you the playbook. It's very simple. Shake the man's hand or the woman's hand firmly.

Don't crush it. Okay? Don't be one of these turds that tries to crush the hand. Nice, firm handshake. Look them in the eye.

Say, thank you very much for having me. Thank you very much for giving me the interview. I very much so appreciate it. When they start to ask you questions, you tell the truth. Don't lie about your skillset.

If you don't have the skillset, say, look, I don't know anything about that, but I will. I will do anything you say to learn and present yourself as someone who's moldable, present yourself as someone who is humble, who is willing to learn, who is willing to help, who is willing to do anything. Take out the trash, wash the sink, whatever the fuck. Whatever has to be done, I'll do so that I can learn how to be good at this. And if you have that attitude when you go in there, um, because an interview, I've some, I've interviewed, you know, thousands of people, and most people come in and they start bragging about all this shit that they know and how much they can help the company and fucking, bro, it's.

DJ
I could build a rocket ship. Yeah, it's. Dude, it's like, bro, we just sell. Us some supplements, man. Bro.

Andy Frisella
And, you know, it's a lie, too. It's not like you don't know it's a lie. Like, that's the thing. Like, this person that's interviewed you has probably interviewed fucking hundreds of people. So when you go in there and you start lying about what you can and can't do and you start saying corny ass shit, you know, like, they're gonna know.

So, like, my biggest piece of advice, man, is be respectful to the last question. Be eager to learn. Be humble to admit that you don't know, but you'll do whatever it takes to learn. And then if give you, you know, any assignments to learn, learn those, and then try to be as prepared as you can before you go in there. You know, if they, if they sell clothing or electronics or whatever it is in this retail environment, try to learn as much as you can before you go in, but don't be certain about what you know.

So, you know, when they say, well, what do you know? Let's just say it's an electronics place, right? What do you know about iPhones? Well, I know this and this and this and this and this, but I. That's just stuff I picked up on my own.

I don't know, like normal training. Yeah, yeah. These are just things that I've read on the website and just be honest, you know, dress nice. Don't dress like a slob. You know, dress appropriately nice.

You know what I mean? Sometimes, like, you know, if you're going into, like, a gym and you wear a suit as an interview, it doesn't really fit. Like, you want to dress appropriate so you don't come off as a little weird.

But I think the biggest thing is, man, you know, for a young kid, is just say, hey, this is my first job. I'm here to learn. I'm here to get better. I want. I want to learn things.

And just being humble enough to admit that you don't know exactly what you're doing, I think that'll go a long way. Yeah. What was your, what was, like, your first, like, you're on a payroll job? Cause, I mean, I know you started business at 19, but, I mean, I'm sure there was something in there. What was your first?

Not really. I always play sports. Gotcha. Yeah. So I didn't have a, like, a job job.

Yeah, I did. In the jobs I did have, they were things I did. Like side hustle. Yes. Like mowing grass or going door to door, things.

Like, bro, I'm an entrepreneur through and through. Like, I. I am not a. I'm not hireable.

Could you imagine me fucking working for someone? Yeah. Yeah. I'm unemployable, so I had to employ myself. It's the fucking truth.

It's a hundred percent the truth, dude. I love that, though. Yeah. So, like, yeah, I have to do things my way, man. And, you know, in an employment situation, that's not ideal.

Yeah. You know, people don't, like, they fucking frown upon that, so, you know, but, but, you know, but you know what. An employer looks for, that's the important. Part because I've been doing that part a long time, you know, so I like people who are honest, who tell the truth, who have a good attitude and are positive, who are respectful, and I think they're decent people who come prepared, who say, hey, I know this, but, you know, that's just, you know, don't be too certain. Like you're an expert.

Just say, hey, this is what I think I know, and I think that's a really good place to start. Quick follow up on that, because I remember, you know, I had a bunch of, like, I've worked for, like, all over the place. I've had, you know, experience in different places and different employers. I remember one time I was told that I didn't hire you because of your resume. Like, I don't hire the resume.

DJ
I hire the person. Yeah. Is that, is that. Yeah, that's a good. Yes, that's a good way to look at.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, look at the process for people. Yes. I think you are much more likely to get hired if you are an honest, good person versus someone who knows all the shit that rubs you the wrong way. I don't want to hire. I'll tell you who I don't want to hire.

I don't want to hire someone who thinks they know everything. I don't want to hire someone that comes in and presents themselves as overly knowledgeable about what we do. Because what I know is, what I already know as an employer, is they don't know shit about how we do things. And I'm gonna have to break them of all these fucking habits. Yeah.

Okay. So I would much rather have someone who's a good person, who's open to learn, than someone who thinks they're super experienced and they're gonna come in and do all this shit when I know for a fact they don't do it to my standard. Right. Yeah. Well, they gotta deal with for the next, you know, six months.

Well, at this place, this is how. That's right. That's right. And, dude, I won't even let that shit come here. That shit doesn't even come here.

DJ
I love it. Yeah. I love it, man. Well, guys. Andy, that was four.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, guys, let's have a good week. Let's go kick some ass. See you guys tomorrow. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze fuck up bowl, fuck up stove.

DJ
Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole got a on bank row, can't fold just a no head shot, case closed.

705. Q&AF: Redirecting Your Team After A Loss, Difference Between Busy And Productive & The Golden Rule Of Respect

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1. Introduction to Q&A

2. Redirecting Teams

3. Busy vs. Productive

4. Understanding Respect

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Companies

Books

Guest Name(s):

Content Warnings:

Transcript