698. Q&AF: Success Definitions, Kids Dominating Sports & Differences Between Cocky And Confident

Yeah went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze fuck up bow fuck up stove counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold dust a no head shot case cloak clothes. What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcella, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys.

Andy Frisella
Today we have Q and A f. That's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways to be answered on the show. The first way is, guys, you can. Email those questions to ask andy@andyforsell.com.

That's DJ. Hey, guys. Hello, children. There you go. Gotta do it right.

DJ
All right, that's it. You can also ask some questions in the comments section on the shows, and we'll pick some from there as well. Now, I'm not going to do the whole intro because I usually do that on Mondays. So if you want to know what we do here, go on Monday, show. I am going to say, though, that we would appreciate you to pay the fee.

Andy Frisella
The fee is very simple. It means share the show. We don't run ads on the show. I'm not going to talk for 30 minutes about shit that I don't use. I don't want to answer to any of these other companies about what I say.

You know, we keep it real here. So I just don't want to deal with that. So in exchange for that, I ask very simply that you help us spread the word. Okay? We're constantly battling censorship and shadow bands and all the good stuff they do these days.

And for us to get the word out, it's going to take your help. So what I ask very simply is that if the show makes you laugh, it makes you think. If it gives you a new perspective, if it helps you, bring me one person, man. Bring me one person. Pay the fee.

Okay? Make a post, tell somebody, have a conversation. Help us grow the show and get it out there. If everybody just brought one person, we would double the size of the show, and we would do that rapidly. So help us get the message out.

Don't be a ho. Show the show. All right. Hey, what's up, man? How's it going?

Good. Yeah? Yeah. What's up with you? All right.

DJ
We had a good leg day. Yeah. Yeah. I see you've decided to start training again. Mm hmm.

Yeah, my legs were shaking like prom night. Yeah, well, that's what happens when you stop working out for fucking four months. It wasn't four months. It was like two, two and a half. I was like.

It was like two and a half. Three. It was like. I'm being nice. About four.

Andy Frisella
I think it was like six. Anyway. It wasn't no fucking six months. The fuck it wasn't. It's like.

DJ
It was like three. It was November. That's six, seven months ago. It was a long fucking time ago, bro. That's what happens when you stop training.

Andy Frisella
You fucking get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a good workout, though. So what are you. What are you working on?

What are you trying to do? Hey, man, listen. Ribs and dick. Yeah, you can say whatever you want. Rib ribs and dick, man.

DJ
I mean, we had talked about this yesterday. I'm gonna get down. I think the goal should be, like, 240, and then just come back up a little bit to, like, 260. I think that's a great goal for you. Yeah, it's doable, man.

Andy Frisella
And I know it's doable. It's what you should do. Yeah, yeah, well, we'll go. We're getting to it, man. Leg day, just.

Yeah, that was a good leg day. My legs are pretty sore. And then that fucking incline. I did the incline. Fucking treadmill, man.

Yeah, I saw you. That took me out. Yeah, yeah. What did you get, three, four minutes on there? Five.

DJ
Yeah, no, I mean that, like, it was just a cool down, but it fucking sucks. You really only did five minutes? Yeah, no, bro. You do 20 minutes after your workout. 20.

Andy Frisella
At least 20 for a cool down, bro. I'm fucking ripped, bro. And I get that. I get that. But.

DJ
But 24. Cool down. Yes. All right. For you.

Andy Frisella
Does that sound appropriate? Shut the fuck up. My diet. No, no. Shut up.

Should be 60 minutes. Yeah. Maybe 70 even. Yeah. All right.

DJ
Yeah, I got 60 for you. Not sure what that means, but it means fucking something dangerous. Yeah, it sounds. Sounds like something. Sounds like some jail shit.

Andy Frisella
Like you're a touches weiner or something. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. All right, well, let's make some people better today. All right, let's do it.

DJ
That's what we're all about here. Yeah, let's get into it, guys. Andy, question number one. Andy, very, very simple question here. What is the right way, in the wrong way to look at success?

Good and bad definitions, your outlooks. And why do so many people not succeed? What are people missing when they. When you think about success? Overall success, just life success.

Andy Frisella
Look, there's. There's two schools of thought, right? First of all, I'll say this success for everybody looks differently. Okay? Some people, they, they don't care as much about money.

And, and you, you know, and I think that's a mistake because it severely handicaps them on their enjoyment of life. But some people pretend. I'll say this, pretend like they don't care about money until they fucking need it, right? And then they're calling people like me. And they care a lot.

Yeah, they care a whole lot. And, you know, they say things like, oh, I don't give a shit about money. I just want to live my life. I just want to enjoy my life. I just want to.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You're full of shit. And I'll tell you why. Because you'd enjoy your life a lot more if you had some money. All right?

So we have this, like, two schools of thought, right? We have the school of thought that I'm going to float through life. I'm going to. I'm going to, you know, my. I'm going to define my own success.

And usually, not always. Usually, that is some sort of excuse as to why they aren't doing anything. It's a justification for them to get out of the hard things, um, that would have been required to build what their original dream was. And so what most people do is they have a dream when they're young, and as they get older and older and older, they get through high school, college, uh, and then just older in life, their dream gets beaten out of them by everybody around them, right? Everybody's telling them that they're not realistic.

Everybody's telling them that they're immoral for wanting more. Everybody's telling them it's a waste of time because they're going to fail. And so what ends up happening is they give up on what their original dream was, and then they replace it with some sort of shit that resembles what they currently have. And then they start talking about how that's what they actually want. And so it's a justification for the lack of results, for the lack of actions that they're not willing to take.

And that's what most people do, okay? That's just honest. Like the hard pill to swallow. It's real talk, dude. Most people are just fucking weak, and they fucking quit.

And then they pretend their whole life they're more virtuous than everybody else because they have some quote unquote humble definition of success. All right? So that's one person. That's. That's the majority of people.

Then there's this group of people who looks at it and says, you know, I really do want a simple life. I really do want a simple life. I want to. I want to work, I want to make enough money to be okay. And then, you know, after that, I kind of want to enjoy my life.

And it's genuine, okay? And that's what success looks like for them, and that's okay. And there's a big difference between the first group and the second group, because the first group, they're lying. The second group, it's true, okay? And then there's like a third group.

And the third group are people who are highly ambitious. They have big goals. They want to level up, they want to become more, they want to create more. They want to build things. And those people are highly ambitious, and they're usually keeping score by about the.

Not only the money they make, but the money they make is a big part of the scorecard. What they create, the benefits they create. And that's kind of the third category. So to say. What defines success for the individual is hard to define because everybody's different.

But being authentic with your true desires and then chasing them with all of your potential and all of your skillset and all of your effort is what's most important. And so what I actually define success is the pursuit of the fulfillment of your ultimate potential. And the reason that I say it's the pursuit of the fulfillment of your ultimate potential is because you can't ever actually reach your full potential. Because where you are today, as you go down the path and learn new skills, the potential is going to expand, which means eventually you're going to run out of time, right? You're going to gain new skills.

Your potential expands. You fulfill more of your potential because you have the new skills, but, and then you acquire more skills on top of that, the potential expands again. So there is no actual fulfillment of your true potential. So it's just a pursuit which lends to the saying, you know, success is a journey, not a destination. And so that's what that actually means.

So when I look at success and how I judge success is, am I utilizing all my potential? Am I pouring that into the mission that I'm on? Am I trying to be the best that I can be at the thing that I want to be? And if I am, and I'm giving that my all every single day in a real way, not in a bullshit way, I consider that to be a successful individual. So, you know, it's not just about money, it's not just about material shit.

And for some people it's not about any of that shit and they can still be successful. But the truth of the matter is, if we're being real, most people fall into that first category, which is why most people can't get anywhere and why most people are so unhappy. Okay, they tell you that's what they want, but why, if that's what they want, why are they so miserable? Why are they so frustrated? Why are they so depressed?

Why are they so angry? Why are they so bitter? Why do they hate other people's success so much? The reason that they hate other people's success so much is because that was their original dream, that they got beat out of them. That caused them to accept their reality and now lie to everybody, including themselves, that this is what I actually wanted the whole time.

It's a way to save face. So if you were the second group of person and that was your genuine definition of success, why would you be judgmental or hate on anybody else's success? You see what I'm saying? It wouldn't exist. No, the first person is lying to themselves and the second two are actually creating their reality.

But ultimately, guys, this comes down to deciding what life you want and then giving everything that you have to it going down the path. And as you go down the path, you make mistakes. And as you make mistakes, if you don't have a 30 IQ, you're able to learn lessons. Those lessons are tools and they're skills and they help you move forward. And as you move forward with those new skills, your potential gets bigger and that means you have longer to go, but you're still in a much better spot as you go down the path.

So you know you're never going to actually get there because eventually you're going to fucking die, right? Like, dude, you have a guy who's 75 years old and lived 75 years of life and has 75 years worth of skills. I mean, he's going, what's he gonna live? Ten more years, 20 more years Max? He's gonna eventually run out of time, right?

But he's the most equipped for success because he knows the most shit. So this is why it's also important to, you know, not just ignore old people like, they're crazy, dude, they know way more than you. Yeah. Just don't let them run the country. Yeah, that's exactly right.

DJ
Let me ask you this because I feel like there's also, there's a connection there. You know, you talk about this, you know, we don't really know when our time is gonna expire? Yep. Would you say that that is your fear that also creates the urgency of that pursuit of your full potential? Yeah, I think.

Andy Frisella
Well, and there's actually. I read a study about this. There's actually a commonality among very highly successful people, and almost all of them had a near death experience at one point in their life, which caused them to understand that they are mortal and that they are not. They are going to run out of time. And so when you have.

When you have something happen to you, like when I got stabbed or when I thought I had a brain tumor for two weeks that was misdiagnosed and I thought I was going to fucking die, you begin to understand things differently and see things differently. And it's not enough to see your friend die or your mom die or dad die to light that fire. It's got to be you. And when you have that experience where you legit almost die, you realize that shit can be over like that, which creates a massive sense of urgency. I was very fortunate to have that stabbing incident happen to me when I was 23 years old, and it changed my life because I realized, holy shit, dude.

Like, I could run out of time tomorrow. I didn't do shit. So now I. Now I run as fast as I can every single day so that at least, you know, hopefully something matters down the road. And maybe it won't, but it.

But I think it will while I'm here, and I'm going to feel like it does when I die. So that's. In that what matters. You know what I'm saying? So I think that sense of urgency is common amongst people who have had an experience that has reminded them of their own mortality, and that's why they run so hard.

And I think that's a very real thing. And I don't think that people who haven't had that, I don't. I'm not. I don't think they run as hard. I just don't think they do.

DJ
Yeah, well, I think. I think the evidence shows, because if they do, they'll probably be. The world will look a little bit different. Yeah. You know?

Andy Frisella
Yeah. I think most people, they. They fucking think they have all the time in the world. They think they're never going to die. And then one day they wake up and they're 65, 70 years old.

They're like, fuck, dude, I didn't do anything. And then they got to live the rest of their life being bitter about what they didn't do. Like, I can't really imagine anything worse than that. Dude, yeah, that's real shit, man. I love it.

Guys. Andy, question number two. Andy. My son is five years old and plays in rec soccer league. We teach our sons to play hard and be dedicated when you sign up for a sport.

DJ
Currently, my five year old is dominating the soccer field. After the first three games, I asked the league if we can move them up in age bracket, but they said they can't play. They can at this point today. In the second half, my son already had 15 goals and they were winning 15 to zero. The coach made my son start back, back by the goal and then let them cross midfield before he was allowed to play any defense.

We tell our son to pass and find teammates, but minimal. Kids understand the game like he does now. In the second half, a trainer of a player on the other team came over to myself, my wife, my seven year old, along with my sons grandparents, and stopped the game to bitch at us. He said our son has had enough goals and not to let him score again. When I told him, we already told him to pass and said he must be a better parent.

And then he said he must be a better parent because his kids listen to him. Tells me my son shouldn't be allowed to play in this league and needs to be on the travel team, then says his son would score 30 goals a game. I told my son to get another 15. The guy then challenges me to a one on one game. I'd rather put the gloves and throw down, but I keep my composure, which prior to 75, hard, might not.

I might not have had the discipline in this scenario. Do we step on the gas here? Yes. Like what? Do we teach them a fucking lesson?

Andy Frisella
100%? Yeah, kill those motherfuckers, score 75 fucking goals a game and then run around, take the shirt off and be an asshole. Now, I wouldn't say that to anybody else. I'm being serious. Now, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't do that.

But this is just what I think. When someone acts like a fucking cocksucker, you fucking jam it down their throat. Okay? So that guy's being an asshole, that guy's talking shit, that guy's pissed off. And the other parents are pissed off because they don't go out and spend time with their kids.

They stick them on a video game, they fucking stick them on an iPad, and then they expect them to go out and be competitive against kids where their parents play with them. All right, you, I'm guarantee you you're out practicing with your kid. I guarantee you're teaching them the real shit. Otherwise, he's not scoring 15 goals in the game. That's fucking awesome.

Yeah. Didn't this happen to Sal? This happened. This happened to me and Sal as kids all the time. Cause we were fucking dominant in athletes, too.

So, like, when we were kids, kids, bro, we'd score seven, eight goals. Parents get fucking pissed off, you know, fucking for sellers. Oh, yeah. They would go fucking try to start a fight with my dad. But you know what they didn't see was that my dad was out in the yard with us every fucking day.

Playing baseball, playing soccer, playing. We played roller hockey. But that translated into ice hockey, right? Like, we were practicing all the time. He was taking us on runs, bro.

Six mile runs. When we were fucking six to seven years old. I still, in my whole life, ain't run 6 miles again. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's the shit my dad did with us.

So of course we're better than everybody else. And if you got kids that suck at sports, maybe you should fucking practice with them instead of complaining the other parents about how it's not fair. That's right, it's not fair. And that motherfucker should go out and score 35 goals a game and teach all the other kids that they better get their fucking asses to work. Excuse my profanity on this, but I don't give a shit.

DJ
It's real shit. Not now. That pisses me off. Yeah, well, because there's real consequences. There's no virtue to holding back.

Andy Frisella
Like, bro, there's no virtue to taking it easy on someone. You're actually hurting them by taking it easy. You are hurting those other kids by telling your son to take it easy because they need to witness what the result is when you put the time and effort into practicing to be great. Those other kids that are getting run all over, they should be having. The parents should be having conversations with them and be like, yeah, little Stevie scored 15 goals.

You know why? Because he practices while you're on the fucking computer, dude. If you want to score 15 goals, then you got to practice, too, and then go practice with them. A lot of you parents shouldn't even have fucking kids in sports because you don't spend any time with them whatsoever. You fucking don't even care about your own motherfucking kids.

Real talk. We see it all the time, bro. I had this situation fucking, we went to Sal's game. This fucking fat motherfucker pulled off his shirt at the game and started threatening Sal. And I'm like, bro, I'm like, this dude, I'm like, sal will fucking murder you, dude.

Like. Like, you're a fat, drunk, middle aged Hoosier, man. Like, get the fuck out of here and go practice with your fucking kid. Maybe if you ran around the soccer field with your kid, you wouldn't be such a fat fuck. Just being real, dude.

I hate that shit. Yeah. Like, when we see these kids get fucking, these coaches get fired because they score. You know, they win the basketball game, 100 points to fucking four. Like, bro, practice hold a standard.

Like, the real world doesn't care. The real world does not care what's fair. It doesn't care what's easy. All it cares about is what the result is. And it doesn't matter how much people cry about it or how much they complain about it or what they think is right or wrong morally.

At the end of the day, the real world will and always has, for the last 10,000 fucking years, valued results, okay? That's what the fuck it's done. Whatever the results are is what you get compensated on. And if you don't teach your kids that, bro, you're doing them a disservice. You buy into all this politically correct nonsense about kids getting celebrated for showing up, and everything needs to be fair, bro.

You're handicapping your kid for life, bro. They're going to lose. So, yeah, score 15 more goals, run around, rub it in their fucking faces, and fucking be good and happy about how much work you did, bro. I'm all about that, 100%. You think I fucking hold back against my competition?

You think I hold. I sit here and think, fuck, dude, you know what? We're so far ahead of everybody else, I might as well slow down so they can catch up. Yeah, you know that's not the way it works. Gotta score no more.

That is not the way it works, bro. You have to keep putting points on the board day in and day out, day in and day out, day in and day out. And, yeah, there is scenarios where, you know, we get to a point where, you know, you pull your starters from the team and shit, right? But now when they come bitch at you like that, I can tell you. That put them off, right?

That's right. Yeah. Right. That's right, bro. At the end of the day, I'd shove it down their throat so fucking hard they fucking choke.

DJ
Yeah, well, there is a difference here, right? Because I feel like a lot of people will scream and complain. Well, that's bad sportsmanship. That's bad. It's not bad sportsmanship.

That's different. No. Bad sportsmanship is crying and pouting about the other team kicking your ass. That's bad sportsmanship. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
The goal of the game is to put points on the board. That is the goal. Until don't go no higher. Your goal is to stop them right now, just because you're inept at stopping them does not mean that the goal of the game changes. That's real shit.

DJ
I know that's real shit, man. And, bro, if you weak ass motherfucking parents out there start teaching your kids the real shit about competition, maybe we wouldn't have a land of the United States of pussies. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, bro. That's not fair.

Andy Frisella
No shit, bro. Welcome to reality. It's not fucking fair. I love it. I fucking love it.

I can't. It's fucked up. Now, what I would add, though, is just make sure after your son does score those 30 fucking goals, that when they do the handshake line, he goes up and shakes everybody's hand. Yeah. Moving.

Yeah. Keeps your fucking moving. That's after the celebration. Yeah. Yeah.

And then. And then you teach him to tell the other kids all of the shit he does so they can get better. You know what I'm saying? You know when they fall down because he broke their ankles, because he's got some good jukes. He could pick them up after he scores the goal.

You know I'm saying? Yeah. A little dirt on that ankle all right there. Yeah. Well, we got to teach our kids to win, bro.

DJ
Get back to it. We got to teach our kids to dominate. 100 to fucking zero, bro. Should be the score. You should be offended that they even showed up to play.

Andy Frisella
That's how good you should be. That's what I think. Yeah. Yeah. I'm offended when somebody thinks they're gonna compete with me, bro.

Like, I'm offended you even think that. Take it personal. I do. Yeah. I do.

It is what it is. I fucking love it. Like, I can celebrate my friends wins. I can learn from my friends wins. I can respect them.

But if you're gonna step to my line, bro, you're gonna learn a fucking lesson. That's the truth. Yeah. I'm offended that they even showed up. That's my mentality.

DJ
I love it, man. I love it. That's every fucking winners mentality, by the way. Go read Tim Grover. It's not just.

Yeah, I see. Yeah. Yeah. It ain't unique. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
I fucking think you're gonna compete. Better go home. You still fucking snow cover the way home? Right, right. Be a lot easier than fucking competing against me.

That's what you should be teaching your kid, bro. Yo, I teach him a little Conor McGregor swag after he scores his goals, just to piss off the parents, bro. Get him a little custom fuck you jersey. I give it the pinstripe. I give him a jersey.

What the fuck you gonna do? And my dad will beat your ass, bro. My dad, back in the day, dude, we play soccer. If we scored a goal or we hurt another kid, he bought us a fucking toy, bro. That's crazy.

That's great. I know. He goes jail now, dude, I swear he did that. That's not bullshit. We would go and he would buy us, like, a GI Joe for, like, $5, right?

So, like, if we. I mean, he taught us how to win. Yeah. Well, because winning is incentivized. Yeah.

DJ
You get something when you win. Yeah. He didn't say, go out and, like, beat the other kids up, but he just said, like, if you run over a kid, like, his big thing was just run them over. Yeah, run them over. Yeah, like, when they get in your way, just keep running.

That's great. Which we did salad. I were like, little fat kids. We ran them the fuck over, bro. So many parents tried to fight my dad.

Andy Frisella
Yeah. That's fucking awesome, man. I love it. What it is, bro. You know, I think we turned out the way we're supposed to turn out.

You know what I'm saying? Like, why don't you teach your kids the rules of reality, not the rules of idealism. Competition is real. You have to be good. You have to have skills.

You have to put in practice. And if someone beats you, it means you're not good enough. If you sell a product and no one buys it, it means your product sucks. Teach them the real shit of competition. Anything less than that will handicap them for their entire lives.

You teach them to be nice. You teach them to have, you know, feel sorry for putting points on the board, bro. They're gonna. They're gonna get their asses beat in life. It's gonna be your fault.

They should be happy about scoring goals. I. That kid, I buy them 15 GI Joe's, bro, or whatever the fuck they're into now. Yeah. I fucking love it, man.

DJ
I love it. Well, guys, Andy, our third and final question. Question number three. This is a good one, Andy. So I've been listening to you for almost a year.

I did 75 hard two times in the last eight months. I am so fucking happy and proud of myself, and I have regained confidence in myself and gained even more than I thought I had. That's all fucking great. Here's the issue with my newfound confidence. I feel I can walk through a brick wall, bro, and I've had a few close people, people I trust and value, tell me that I've become too cocky.

How do I know if I'm actually being, quote unquote cocky, or is this just my newfound confidence? What's the difference here? I mean, anybody appears cocky that puts up results and then is happy about it, people aren't used to that because most people don't produce any results. So they, they're used to saying, well, I don't produce any results because I'm humble. So when you actually produce results, no matter what you say about it, no matter how nice you are, no matter how kind you are, no matter how quiet you are about it, they're going to say, you're fucking cocky, dude, there's nothing wrong with being cocky either, as long as you back it up.

Andy Frisella
There's nothing wrong with that. Like, there's nothing wrong with that. It adds some spice to your life. It's good to have some swagger. It's fun.

It's fun to walk around like you got a 30 foot dick. Like, that's fun shit, but you make sure you have it. Yeah, that's right. But that is only because you're producing results. And so it's okay to feel cocky as long as you can still be humble in the process.

And people are like, well, you can't do that bullshit. It's confidence in game time and humble and preparation. Okay? When I walk out on the field, dude, I know what I've put in. I know the work I've done.

I'm going to walk out there with some swagger, I'm going to put some points on the board. You ain't going to fucking touch me, okay? And if you do, I'm going to run you to fuck over. All right? Humble is studying the film, preparing, learning about your opponent, practicing the skills, doing the drills, and doing all that shit with the proper intent, intensity, and an intent.

So, like, you can be cocky in execution and humble in preparation, but most people's minds are too simple to understand that. So all they see is, you know, Conor McGregor walking out with his swag, right? I fucking hate that guy. Because he's cocky. Well, the reason he's cocky is because he works his ass off behind closed doors and he knows what he's bringing to the table, and there's nothing wrong with that.

That just rubs people who don't do shit the wrong way. But remember, that's who they watch. Those are the people they enjoy watching. Who do people love to watch? Oh, they love to watch.

People they don't like because they're cocky, because that's something they've never had. They wish they had that. They wish they could walk in a room with a, with a strut, with a three piece suit, looking like a fucking pimp, knowing that you're going to walk out in the fucking ring and beat some dude's ass and you're going to walk back to your yacht. They wish they could have that, but they lack the courage. They lack the work ethic.

They lack the understanding of what it means to be that kind of a person. So you can't expect a mediocre mind to understand a mind that is wired for greatness. It will never happen. So how do you know if you're cocky? You're cocky if you don't think you have anything to learn.

You're cocky if you're, if you think you're great and you're not putting in the work. You're cocky if you think you're getting good and it's because you're just good. It's not the work that you put in, right? That's too cocky. But as long as you're putting in the work, as long as you're putting up the results, as long as you're doing your thing, bro, people are going to interpret it cocky, so you might as well enjoy it anyway.

You know what I'm saying? Now this was, let me ask you this, though. So how long, how long can you be cocky on the win one day? Like, what's the rule? 24 hours.

DJ
Yeah. Celebrate for 24 hours. Get back to work. That's my rule. That's champion rule, bro.

Andy Frisella
You ever seen Nick Saban do an interview? Bill Belichick do an interview after they once national championship or Super bowl. You know what they're talking about already? What's next, coach? They're talking about next year.

DJ
Yeah. They're talking about waking up tomorrow and getting to work on next year. That's what champions do. That's why they're fucking champions, because they celebrate very, very short time. Losers will win one time.

Andy Frisella
You know, they get the MVP of the high school football game. They're talking about it 20 years later. You know what I'm saying? They, that's what losers do. So 24 hours rule on celebrating.

24 hours rule on talking shit. 24 hours rule to feel good about your win, and then it's back to work so that you could keep being cocky. Right? Right. Yeah.

DJ
I mean, and if you're winning every fucking day, then you're celebrating every fucking day, bro. Listen, I like. I like people that are cocky. I like people with swag. Everybody likes people with swag because it makes you feel like you could have some swag.

Andy Frisella
The only people that don't like it are people that are totally weak. Totally. They're the first group of people that I described on question one. They're the people who have given up on their dreams. They turn their nose up, and anybody who's doing shit more than them, they say shit like, it must be nice.

Uh, you know, I'm sure. I'm sure that's a great way to live. They say all kinds of dumb shit, and it's because they fucking quit on themselves, dude. That's the reality. You can't expect those people to ever understand.

You and your friends and your family. They're the worst ones. They're the ones that have known you your whole life. They're going to hate on you the most because they see you changing. They see you breaking out of the mold, and they're like, oh, well, you're different now.

No shit. That's the point. The point is for me to get different. The point is for me to not be like you. That's why I'm doing this.

Because when I look at you and I look at the way you live, and I look at the way you guys are miserable, I don't want that for myself. I want to be better. I want to put in more work. I want to be great at what I do. I want to be fit.

I want to make money. I want to do all this shit, and you don't. So thanks for motivating me. Okay, so, like, your friends and family are the first ones that are going to hate when you first step out. That's the reality.

DJ
It just hurts more because they're closer. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. You're not used to it. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
You know what I'm saying? You think that those people are going to celebrate you. They're going to have your back, they're going to push you down the path, but that's rarely the case, bro, with people that you've known your whole life, because they always see you as that old version of you. They don't see you as that new version of you. You know how many people in my life see me as the version of me that existed?

510? 15 years ago that I'm not even close to that anymore. See what I'm saying? So your identity in those people's eyes is very small and limited, just like their identity is. And when you start breaking that identity and you start moving forward and you start progressing and you get better and you get in shape and you start making some money and you start having some success, they hate it because they realize, fuck, they could have done the same, but they were too lazy.

They didn't have the belief in themselves. They didn't want to do the work, they were too afraid, and they got to live with those decisions for their whole life. And they're bitter at themselves. They're mad at themselves for giving up on their original dream to accept their reality and lie about it as if it is their dream. And, uh, you're actually going out and doing something.

So you can expect that you're going to get more of it, but you're going to get it the worst from your family and friends. So I wouldn't. As long as you're doing the work and as long as you're putting up results and as long as you realize that you always have a lot to get better on and a lot to improve and you're willing to do that work and you don't think that you're great just because you're you. It's okay to feel good about yourself. When you look at how people's ego affects them in a negative way.

Imagine a bell curve, all right? And on the left side of the bell curve, where you're at the low point, you don't know what the fuck you're doing. You don't know what to do. You don't know the skills, you don't know the moves, you don't know the work ethic. You don't know shit.

So you know that you don't know shit, so you're willing to start to take action. Okay? I don't know what to do. I don't know. Tell me what to do and I'll do it.

Right. So they do this, they start doing the things they take, the actions they take, the habits of successful people, and they start to move up the bell curve and they start to improve and they improve and keep improving, and keep improving, and keep improving. And then for most people, what happens is they get to a point where they forget about all this work that they put in and they start believing that the success they are seeing is just because they're special. It's like reading your own news, clippings I'm great. Because I'm great.

And that's how you can always identify the people who are about to fall on their fucking face when they start talking about how they're the best ever, or they're the best, or they're better than everybody else. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They're about to eat shit, all right? Because what happens is they start to believe that it's them instead of remembering that it's actually the actions that they've been taking, and they are living in the results of those actions. And then what happens is they stop doing the actions because they don't think they have to, because they think they're just great.

And then they fall down the fucking bell curve real fast the other side, okay? And then they start back to a point where they're like, fuck, I don't know what just happened. I just lost everything. I lost all my friends. I lost all my money.

I lost all. And then they're like, fuck, I don't know what to do. And then eventually, they come to the conclusion of, well, I'll start doing what I did before. So they start taking the actions before, and they start to see results. And then they get to a point where they're doing real good again.

And they will either have learned the lesson the first time or they'll repeat what they did the first time. So they'll either say to themselves, hey, I got here last time, and I quit doing the work, and I lost everything. And they'll keep doing the work, which allows them to continue to escalate up the curve without peaking, right. But if they get to the top again and they start saying, oh, I'm great, and they stop doing this shit, they're going to lose again. And so most people live their lives in a.

In a. In this wave of success and failure. Success and failure. And the reason they live their lives in that wave is because they can't ever figure out that it's their own ego getting in their way of their humility, understanding that they have much more to learn and many more skills to go. And all you got to do to really remember this is just compare yourself to the best in the world ever.

Like, are. Are you winning compared to Bezos? Are you winning compared to Elon? Are you winning compared to Phil Knight? That's the questions I ask me.

That's what I ask myself. Like, when I start feeling like I'm doing good, I look at fucking bezos, I'm like, yeah, I ain't doing shit. No, I ain't doing shit. And then I get back to work. This is why I use the language I use.

Day one, right? A long way to go when people say, oh, congratulations on all the success. I'm like, fuck, bro, shut the fuck up. I haven't even started. You know what I mean?

Like, I hate that shit. It's poisonous to progress hearing, you know, congratulations and believing you're successful. Like, dude, when people start calling themselves great and calling themselves successful, you know, they're on the fucking down, bro. It's only a matter of time because they're losing the ability to understand that they. They really aren't anything.

They're a speck of dust in the grand scheme. There are millions of people who have done more than you, who have come from worse than you. So for you to think that you're great is an inaccurate representation of self. See what I'm saying? So, yeah.

So you just have to be careful for that. Remember, the life that you're currently living is the result of the actions that the old you has been taking for a long time. If the new you doesn't continue to take those actions, you won't be living in that state for very much longer. You see what I'm saying? Yeah.

DJ
Yeah. I fucking love it, man. Yeah. I love it. Well, guys.

Andy, that was three. Yep. Guys, go pay the fee. Yeah, we're sleeping on the flow now. My jury box froze.

Fuck up bowl. Fuck a stove. Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch. Booted swole, got a on bank row, can't fold. Just a no head shot, case closed.

698. Q&AF: Success Definitions, Kids Dominating Sports & Differences Between Cocky And Confident

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Episode Summary

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Episode Chapters

1: Definitions of Success

2: Sports and Competition

3: Cockiness vs. Confidence

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