693. Q&AF: Stepping On Bosses Toes, Going With The Flow & Dealing With Anxiety

Yeah went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze fuck up bow fuck up stove counted millions in a cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold dust a no head shot case cloak. Cloak. What is up, guys? It's Andy for sell. And this is the show for the realists.

Andy Frisella
Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society. And welcome motherfucking reality, guys. Today we have Q and Af. That's where you submit the queues and we give you the afs. Now you can submit your questions a few different ways.

The first way is, guys, you can. Email those questions into ask andyforsella.com and as DJ. Hey, guys, what's up? Hey. Or you can go on YouTube and.

You could drop your question in the comments section. We'll pick some from there as well. If you're a regular listener to the show, you know, we have shows within the show. Tomorrow you're going to get CTI. That stands for cruise the Internet.

That's where we put topics up on the screen. We talk about what's happening. We speculate on what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we. The people, have to solve these problems.

That are created by these dumb motherfuckers. That's right. Huh? Yeah, that's spot on. Yeah, that's it.

And then we got some other shows, too. We got real talk. Those usually come out on Saturdays, sometimes. Middle of the week. However we're feeling it.

Then we have 75 hard versus. 75 hard versus where someone who's completed the 75 hard program, which is the initial phase of the live hard program, comes on. The show talks about how their life was a shit dumpster before and how. They un shit dumpstered it, and how you can, too. That's a episode 208.

You get the program for free. There's also a book on my website, Andy, for sella.com called the book on mental toughness. And you can get the entire live hard program in that book, plus ten chapters on mental toughness. Why it's important how you can use it to build the life that you're looking for. Also has some case studies of some very famous people that you will recognize that talk about how they use mental toughness to create their legacy as well.

So, like I said, you don't have to buy the book, but you can get the program for free on episode 208. And then the last thing is we. Have this thing we call the fee. The fee is very simple. It means share the show.

We don't run ads on the show. I'm probably the only show on the whole fucking Internet that finances itself without ads. And you're probably asking, well, why would you do that? We have a top ranked show in the world. And we could make a.

Lot of money running ads. Well, here's the deal, guys. I don't like being told what to say or do, and I want to keep this show as real as I can, so I don't take that money. And I ask an exchange, just very simply, that you support what we got going on. You know?

If you got to buy some nutritional supplements, buy some first form, hit that first form energy drink and show the show, okay? We're always battling censorship. We're battling shadow bands and all kinds of ridiculous stuff on the Internet. And if you guys think the message is valuable, if it makes you think, makes you laugh, it gives you new perspective. But teach you something, we need you.

To share the show for it to get out. So don't be a ho. Share the show. All right. What's up, dude?

DJ
What's going on, man? Nothing. Yeah? Yeah. Did you, uh.

I got the pool. I got the water out. Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask you. I got the water out, and, um. Now, were you able to save the water?

Andy Frisella
No, I didn't think so. No? No. Just, uh. You pumped it down the hill to the common ground and shit, you know?

DJ
And, um. Yeah. So pools empty. Yeah. Gotta move it.

And then you're gonna level it out. I'm not gonna level out. Dan's gonna do it. Yeah. Dan's gonna do it.

Okay. Level it out and, uh. And hopefully we'll be good, man. Yeah. You know?

Andy Frisella
Now just gotta learn how to swim.

Now, that's a lie. I seen you swim, dj. Pretty good swimmer. I'm pretty good swimmer. Yeah.

That's how I got here. You know? I was the fastest one. Yeah.

How the fuck is that possible? Was that you were the fucking fastest one? Hmm? I'm just saying. You must be competing against some special ones.

DJ
Yeah. All right. Okay. All right. I like it.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, I like it. You know, I won one race. You? Yeah. You did?

Yeah. Count that one. Yep. Anything new with you, man, I don't think so. Yeah.

Just playing with the ducks, dude. They're getting big, man. Dude, I didn't know. I didn't think ducks grew that fast. I didn't know they grow that fast either, bro.

Andy Frisella
They're like those little. You ever seen those things that were like capsules when you're a kid, you drop them in the water and like an hour later you come back and they're fucking like this big. They're like, I don't know. Old people used to have them. They're like sponge toys.

I don't know if they still make them, but they're. It's like a little capsule. You throw it in the water and then it turns into like a fucking gorilla or something, right? Oh, yeah. So what?

Hmm? What's wrong with you? So anyway, sometimes it's a dragon or some shit, too. All right. Yeah.

Andy Frisella
Diverse. Yeah. Right? Well, yes, sometimes this is giraffe, you know?

So anyway, yeah, those things. Let me see something. What is that, a rooster? An elephant. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know those things.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, so that's what the ducks are like, man. Like, you put a little water in their cage. Yeah. They get in the water, you come back the next day, bro, they're fucking twice as big. They grow.

DJ
They're growing. Really? Really? I've never seen anything like it. No, I didn't know they grow that fast.

Andy Frisella
That's like, I'm going to take some of their blood out and put it in me so I can get huge, too. Yeah, all right. You know that's what they say about semen. What do they say about semen? Well, it grows a whole fucking baby in nine months, bro.

Think how big you would get if you drank it.

Why do you think these gay dudes. Are so ripped, bro?

Andy Frisella
It's true. Yeah, yeah. Why are gay dudes so. Jack, I'm telling you, it's the fucking growth factors in the fucking. Jesus.

Yeah, man, make a fucking. Jack, like, it only works, like, if you have testosterone in your body or something. I don't know, cuz. Like, I never tried it, but I fucking. I would think it will work.

Yeah. Huh. Interesting. Might be a new business. There have a bunch of dudes out there fucking, bro.

Andy Frisella
You see them dudes on the Internet that are fucking drinking their own piss and injecting their own piss? No, none of the news feed. There's like these health dudes out here who are talking about how they inject their own piss and drink their own piss. They inject your piss, bro. I swear, I swear, like, I saw it.

DJ
You're talking ivy in the fucking veins. I don't know, bro. I fucking heard it and I just turn the shit off cuz. I don't give a fuck what it does. I don't care if it makes me live for fucking ever.

Andy Frisella
I ain't drinking my own piss and I. If I have fucking be in, like, the world fucking collapses and all I got to do is drink my own piss to live peace and ain't fucking happening, bro. And these dudes out here fucking trying to be health nuts, talking about like, come on, man. That's the new health fat. Yeah, dude.

I guess so. Fuck. It's. I feel like they're punking a lot of people, bro. Yeah.

DJ
A lot of this shit's like, you. Know, they got fucking. These old dudes out there peeing in a cup. Fucking. I don't know what they do, bro.

Andy Frisella
Nasty, though. I'm okay. I'm all right. Me too. All right now.

DJ
I mean, like, a survival situation. I don't care where I've lived a good life. Like bear Grylls. He drank his piss. Did he?

Yeah, he drank his piss. Really? Mm hmm. I just get eaten by the bear, bro. Yeah, I mean, they listen.

Andy Frisella
Yeah, I got. Fuck. If I got. If I got stranded like that and I was gonna. I would just run up to the bear and start fighting it.

Yeah. I mean, I know it would kill me, but, like, that's some fucking badass shit. They'd be like, oh, yeah, bro. He fought a bear and fucking ate him. Yeah, like, I'll do that.

Yeah. Huh? Hmm. They probably drink my piss. They probably like me, dude.

Andy Frisella
All animals like me, dude. Animals do. Like, I got a gift where. Yeah, I'm like the animal whisperer. Mm hmm.

Doesn't matter which one they are. This is true. I've seen it in action. I've seen it in action. Yeah.

Anyway, what's going on? Yeah, let's make some people better. Yeah, we got Q and a after that. Q and a f. And we're not.

Gonna recommend that you drink your piss. Yeah, don't drink your piss. Yeah. So unless you have to. I mean, like, let's say, man, like, you know, I can.

DJ
I could see a survival situation. I do it. How much would it cost for you to eat a piece of your own poop? Oh, it costs. I mean, that would cost.

And, like, what. What type of poop are we saying? Like, my normals? No, like a nugget. Just.

DJ
I'm like, just a little nugget. Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna need. I'm gonna need something. I'm gonna need some.

I'm gonna need some coins. Where is it? What is it? Oh, it's like, I'm gonna need at least a. Like, you gotta give me, like, at least 10 million, bro.

Andy Frisella
10 million? 10 million. That's a big number, man. 10 million. I mean, that's reasonable.

10 million to eat a piece of your shit? Your own shit. How big? Like three inches. Not even a billion.

DJ
Okay, now you're increasing it. No, like this little nugget. Like this. Like you're six inches.

Andy Frisella
Like that size. What would it take? I'd say for every inch, it'd be another 1010 million. So that's 30 million. $30 million.

DJ
Bro. Bro, I need a three inch piece of poop for 30 million. That's what I'm saying. No question. I'll do it.

Andy Frisella
I know how hard it is to make that shit with the poop? No, the fucking 30 billion.

Yeah. Sometimes the poop, too. Anyway, you get to wash it down. Yeah. Hey, this is.

This is. We're getting right into the personal development. This is it. We're only show that goes from capitalism. Yes.

Andy Frisella
From eating your own poop to talking about how to be better. Yeah, that's it, man. Yeah. Well, let's do. So.

We're gonna make you so wealthy that you don't have to eat your own poop. That's a tagline right there, what you did there. Yeah, I like it. Well, guys. Andy.

DJ
Let's get into it. Guys. Andy. Question number one. Andy.

I'm an entrepreneur at a medium sized company. A few Q and A's ago, you talked about how entrepreneurs should be striving to create value and how the really great ones take initiative and fix issues on their own. My direct leadership has been slacking in a few areas. There's been some growls in the team. And so I took some initiative and addressed a few things for the team.

And the team absolutely loved it. Fast forward a few days. I get called into his office and was told that I stepped on his toes. Long story short, I vented about what it was causing in the team and how I take responsibility for it and what my intentions were, and he wasn't trying to hear. Now, there's a few people above him in management.

Should I consult them? Do I try to mend the trust and kiss ass? This dude's a pussy, and I'm just trying to win. What's your thoughts? Well, look, this is a legitimate question, because when you are trying to make a difference in the company and you take initiative, especially with leadership, and you have someone that you report to, if they're not a strong leader, if they're not a.

Andy Frisella
If they're not a very confident, capable, strong leader, there will probably be some defensiveness from that person, because what they'll see it as is. This person's trying exactly like he said, step on my toes, steal my thunder, undermine my authority, when in reality, you're just trying to do your job so that we can win. So don't get fired. It's not about getting fired, bro. It's.

It's, you know, there's. There's just management and certain companies who have the wrong attitude. They have the. They have the attitude of I rule over you instead of, we are on a team and we need to win. And a good manager, someone who is competent and capable and understands that this doesn't take away from them.

When they win, they're going to celebrate initiative. They're going to be happy for initiative. They're. Even if it's wrong, they're going to say, fuck, dude, I appreciate that you took initiative, but next time, let's do it like this. Because they understand that that doesn't make them look bad.

It makes them look good when they win. All right? So you might have an issue here with someone, you know, who is insecure, because they know they're slacking and they don't necessarily want to own up to that. So they take it defensively, and they believe that you are trying to undermine them. And in that case, there's a couple different options.

One, you can have a more conversation with him. And that's not kissing ass. That's, hey, bro, listen. You pay me to help you win, okay? That's what I do here.

I'm trying to help you win. You ask me to help you win, you're paying me to help you win. I want you to win. That's all I'm trying to do in. And that sort of conversation where you kind of stand up for yourself can go a long way with people like that.

I'm not trying to undermine you, dude. I'm trying to help the team. And I know you're busy. I know you're trying to do your thing. You know, don't call him out on his slacking.

You know what I'm saying? But say, hey, I know you're busy with other things. I know you got this going on. Let me fucking step in and do this. And the fear on their point is that you will become so good at what you do that it will be recognized that you are better than them.

But in that scenario, it's good that you take the initiative if you're in the right company, because it'll progress your career, and it'll also make that guy start to move. Okay? The reason that these managers get complacent and they don't move is because they don't have people underneath them pressing them with the results that they're producing. So as someone who's subordinate to an insecure leader, like it sounds like you are, you need to push them to improve with their performance by having great performance yourself. Now, that's one way to handle it.

Now, if you went around the office and you said, well, fucking Joe is not doing his job, so I got to do it. Yeah, you're. You are undermining him, and he does have a right to be pissed. Those conversations need to be happening behind closed doors, not out with other people, because that makes you a cancer. If that were happening, my company, I would fire that person immediately, no matter.

DJ
How true it is. Yes, because it's cancerous. Okay. Or now you can go out and you continue to do what you're doing. You keep getting better.

Andy Frisella
And if this guy steps in your way again, you can go to someone above him and say, hey, look, I'm having a lot of trouble, man. I'm not trying to throw anybody on the bus. I like this guy Steve. He's all right, dude. But I'm trying hard to win, and I'm.

I'm being told to not do these things. And, you know, that's. That's a way you could go, but there's going to be. In some situations, there could be some backlash to that. In reality, I don't think that's a bad thing, because if that.

If your initiative and your drive and your want and will to win isn't appreciated where you are, then you need to be somewhere where it is appreciated so that you have upward mobility for yourself and your family. All right? So this comes down to just doing the right thing, working as hard as you can, being professional, handling things like an adult. And if it's not welcome, bro, it's time to find a place where you would be welcome. I can tell you this initiative is one of our core values.

Okay? The three most valuable skills an intrapreneur can have is the ability to sell, the ability to lead, and the ability to take initiative and move a project from concept to completion without having to be told exactly what to do. If you have those three skills and you're good at it, you're going to write your own check in almost any company that's hungry to win. And this goes for a lot of you guys, a lot of you guys that are entrepreneurs, you need to understand that not every company is trying to grow. Not every company is trying to be big enough to where you can actually build your career inside of it.

Andy Frisella
You want to get with an aggressive company. You want to get with a company that has huge plans and huge dreams and then backs that up with action, because what that means is that you will have opportunity to build an amazing career underneath that. And, dude, a lot of companies just ain't like that. So you got to have the acuity to be able to observe and sense. Are you with a company that's going the right way?

Are you with a company that's trying to win? Are you with a company that's trying to become so big that you can build your entire life within that framework of that company? And, dude, the answer for most companies is no. Most companies want to be medium sized companies. That's all they want to be.

The owners want to collect a moderate check, and they don't really give a fuck about growing the careers of the people that work there. You know, for me, dude, I could have quit trying to grow first form and s two and all the shit we got going on years and years and years ago, but I figured out along the way that that wasn't okay, because I have people who have invested their whole professional lives since they were 19 years old inside this company that deserve to have a chance to build their dreams. And that means when they invested up there in the beginning and they believed in me, and then I just get to the point where I'm good, and then I fucking bolt. What kind of person does that make me? That's an unloyal, disloyal motherfucker, bro.

And I ain't that. I ain't that kind of person. So I come in here every day. I give everything I got so that the people in this building can build their careers as well. And that's another thing you should look for.

Your leadership and your ownership should give a fuck about building careers for their employees. And if they don't, you need to find somewhere that does, because you'll waste your whole life there. Yeah. And let me ask you this, because I feel like, you know, and I don't know how old this person is, but I feel like there's a. There's a lot of people out there that just have a problem just simply standing up for themselves.

DJ
Right. Just simply handling those hard or tough conversations. Right? Like, do you have any tips or tricks or things that you've learned? You know, going.

Cause, I mean, did you started in business when you were 19 where, you know, the world might look at you as this young person, right? Not really take you serious. How do you handle those difficulties conversations? How do you handle that conflict resolution? How do you handle that?

Andy Frisella
Dude, look, that's a, that's a skill in itself, okay? What you have to realize is that you are in charge of your own progress. And if you lack the ability to give feedback or have difficult conversations, what usually ends up happening with those people is they start to observe a bunch of things they don't like. I don't like this. I don't like that.

I don't like this. I don't like that. And because they lack the courage or the understanding of how to address it properly. Meaning going to your leadership, sitting down saying, hey, this is, this is, this is a problem. This is a problem.

This is a problem. You guys aren't seeing this. You know, whether you got HR, whoever your direct leadership is, you go to them, you sit down, you tell the truth. What usually happens to these people who bottle everything up is they start to get bitter and they get resentful, and then they come in one day and they're like, fuck this place. I fucking hate this place.

And they fucking leave. And, like, they leave without ever bringing it to the leadership, thinking that we can just guess on what the problem is. You know what I'm saying? Like my readers. Yeah, bro.

And nobody is. And so you have to understand that there is no value and just shutting up. There is tremendous value in speaking up and telling the truth to HR or your direct leaders, because most of the time, the problems that you're having are oversights because everybody else is worried about what's going on in the playing field. So it's hard to see holes. When you're worried about offense and you're worried about putting points on the board, it's hard to see those things.

So if you are an entrepreneur and you can bring those issues to your leadership, tactfully as a team player, not as a bitching, high maintenance nag employee, but as a contributor. Hey, here's a couple problems I noticed. I've experienced this. I've experienced this. I think we need to fix these things so that we don't cause an issue with the culture.

And there's also this other little thing. And. And, you know, I'm not upset, but I want you guys to know, and I think we do need to fix it because it's starting to get a little chattery. All right. That kind of feedback is fucking immensely valuable because most of the people that are running things, they just can't see that shit.

You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's like I'm the general, right? And we're in battle, and you're fucking 30 miles out there on the fucking line, you know, way over here, and you're getting fucking killed, right. But because you don't want to bother me or you don't want to give me feedback or you don't want to report back bad news, you just continue to get killed, and we lose the fucking battle. You see what I'm saying?

So feedback back and forth as a contribution and a team is super important. And if you can be an intrapreneur, that can have, you know, they're not difficult conversations, dude. These are just conversations. You got to stop prefacing. This thing is like, difficult conversations.

They're not fucking difficult. They're fucking factual, okay? So have a factual conversation. Don't bring drama. Don't bring gossip.

Don't bring bullshit. Bring fucking facts, and bring a solution to the problem. If you can become someone that does that, your value goes way the fuck up because the leadership says, hey, that guy's bought in. That guy cares. That guy looks out for the company.

And when the time comes for, you know, the conversation about who the next leadership is or who. Who can be trusted to do this or that, that person gets talked about, and eventually, if their skill set's good enough, they get to move. So there's this false idea of being stoic and not complaining that actually holds your value back, because it's not complaining, and it's not a difficult conversation. It is a factual conversation, and we bring solutions to try to make the team better. And, dude, how do you do this?

You just fucking do it. You fucking do it. You go do it. You sit down the first time, you're going to be nervous. And don't do none of this shit either.

Where you go, we'll go try to, you know, like, complain and I'm not trying to, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, then don't complain and don't bitch. Just say the facts. Hey, here's a hole in the game. Here's a hole in the game.

We got to fix these holes. And, you know, I just want to let you guys know. Yeah, you know, I was thinking, too, you know, you're like those people that, you know, bottle it up, and then they just walk in one day and like, oh, fuck. I feel like that's. That's what happens if they're lucky.

DJ
I think what a lot of people happen to is they bow that shit up, and then they just learn to accept it. Well, no, dude, change shit about it. Not only that, dude, here's what happens. They start because they're fucking pussies. They start talking to everybody around them, bro.

Andy Frisella
They start complaining to everybody around them, and they start trying to destroy things in the company because they're too fucking pussy to have a conversation. That's exactly what it is. Okay, so the reality is, is, dude, if you can't have difficult conversations, quote unquote difficult conversations that aren't even difficult, you lack the ability to succeed and get paid. That's it. Yeah.

DJ
I love it. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy. I hear people talk about how important it is to be flexible and to go with the flow.

I've been told to be more easygoing, and I should try to take it easy, let it go, or worry about it tomorrow. Maybe I'm not quite understanding what the message is, but I have a. But I definitely do have a difficult time just going with the flow. There's been times where being flexible slows down my progress and also times where not being flexible may have worked against me. I love your opinion on when it's time to be flexible in life.

When pursuing great health and success. Go with the flow. What you wish. What's your take on that? 95% of the time, it's.

Andy Frisella
That's something that's said by fucking lazy, loser people who don't want to be held to a standard that you're holding for yourself. So you're out here trying to hold a high standard. You're trying to work hard, you're doing all this shit, and they're saying, oh, just go with the flow, man. Don't work too hard here. They don't apr.

It's loser shit. Those people will always be broke. And let me tell you something else, bro. If you're going to build anything great in your life, it's going to be through fucking force. It's going to be through complete, rigid dedication and discipline to move forward.

And when the people come and they get in your ear and they say, take it easy. You're working too hard. You got to. You got to learn to go with the flow. Just know that if you listen to those people, you will be exactly like those people.

Do you think fucking Kobe Bryant went with the flow? Do you think Tom Brady went with the flow? Do you think Muhammad Ali went with the flow? Do you think any fucking person, Elon Musk, any person that you look up to went with the fucking flow. No, they didn't.

They said, I'm going here, and anybody who gets in my fucking way, I'm going to run them the fuck over. That's what they said. That's the attitude they have, and that's the attitude of champions. So that's how I look at those kind of statements. Go with the flow.

Take it easy. Now, are there times where you're wrong and you do need to go with the other? Yes, 100%. But you have to have the ability to audit yourself and remove your ego. You need to be able to discern between, am I stuck to this idea because it's my idea, or am I wrong and these guys have the best idea.

You see what I'm saying? And if you can't evaluate that by removing your ego and honest, you lack the ability to lead, you lack the ability to progress. But 90% of the time, these people who say this shit are completely weak. They're super lazy. They're never going to amount to shit, and they're going to fuck your life up if they get in your ear.

So I would ignore them. I would look at them and I would say, what do they look like? What kind of money do they make? What kind of house do they live in? What kind of car do they have?

What kind of life do they live? And I'd say, do I want that? And then if they tell me to. Go with the flow and I don't, I'd be like, fuck, I ain't going with your flow. What's their flow look like?

Yeah, right? It looks like shit 95% of the time. All right, so are there times when you got to give a little bit? Yeah. Are there times when you got to.

You got to concede that maybe you didn't have the best idea, but somebody else did? Yes. That's called being a smart guy. Don't you want to win? You said, oh, being go with the flow held my progress back.

Why would you fucking let anything hold your progress back if you know you're not supposed to go with the flow? Don't go with the fucking flow. It's that simple, dude. Yeah, become the flow. Shit.

Well, dude, that's the thing. Your job is to be able to walk in the room and influence the fucking room because you have a consistent track record of willing things and forcing things into reality. And when you've done that for a number of years, you won't have to convince anybody anymore because they will look at you and they will say, DJ fucking gets it, bro. I think we need to listen to what he's saying. You see what I'm saying?

DJ
Yeah, yeah. But most of that shit's loser shit. I wouldn't listen to anybody about fucking anything that you don't want their life. For real? Yeah, that's real shit.

That's real shit. Well, guys, Andy, our third and final question. Andy, the question number three. Andy, this may be more of a thought provoking question for you, but I'm really curious to hear your thoughts on this. At this point in your life, 25 years, in all the work, the blood, the tears you've put in, do you still have any anxiety, big or small, that it won't work?

No, I've never. I've never thought that it won't work. I've never thought that. Even when I started, I never thought it. I thought, we'll figure it out.

Andy Frisella
We'll make it happen. That's what I always thought, dude. And that's the attitude you have to have, okay? You're not going to get something given to you. It's not going to come easy.

It's not going to be stress free. It's not going to be anxiety free. It's not going to be frustration free. That's the thing you guys miss about going out here and building success. Nobody's bringing it to you.

It's not coming to you. You don't deserve it. It's not fair. You're going to have to earn every fucking bit of it. And, bro, quite honestly, you're going to have to go fucking take it.

And you can't go take it if you're worried about it not working, okay? Because it takes 100% of your energy to go out and make shit happen. And if you're spending 10% or 20% or 30% of the energy afraid that it's not going to work, you can't put the proper amount into moving forward, into giving the right amount of offense, which is the key to getting this built. Okay? So you have to force this into reality.

The Internet has made business and entrepreneurship seem, and success seem like it is easy and it's abundant, and it's for everybody. And the reality is it fucking isn't. Okay? There are limited spaces at the fucking top. There are limited slots on the fucking playing field for you to get a starting position.

Bro, just because I want to be an NFL football player doesn't mean that I can fucking manifest myself into an NFL football player. There is a limited number of spots, and I've got to compete and be great to be in one of those, and your income bracket and your position in the world is the same exact way. And we have all these fucking knuckleheads out here on the Internet talking about how it's unlimited success and you could do. Bro, no, it's not. Okay?

You are competing with actual human beings. There are limited number of spots. If you want to be in the game, if you want to be on the field, if you want to be an all star, if you want to be a hall of famer, you are going to have to get aggressive, and you are going to have to force your will into existence, into reality. There is no easy way. There's no quick way.

There's no risk free way. There's no anxiety free way. And when you think there is, you're setting yourself up for failure. This is why this idealistic viewpoint of entrepreneurship and business is so damaging. Okay?

You see all these dumb fuck coaches out here selling programs who've never done a motherfucking thing, who have never built a business, who have never truly become successful outside of the money that they make selling programs, and they are telling you all this crazy shit that just isn't fucking true. You need to come to terms with the reality, and you need to learn how to listen to people who have built real things that are teaching you. You guys need to quit listening to these Internet dumb fucks who don't know what they're talking about. They've never built anything real outside of selling you a program about how to do something that they never actually did. And if you don't learn how to vet people and you don't learn how to ask, do they have a business?

Do they have customers? Do they have employees? Can I buy their product? How long have they been doing it? How good are they at it?

What's the business do? What's it worth? How is it? Is it dominant? Is it shitty?

Can I even see it? Or it was one of these magical things that doesn't exist. Oh, you know, I made $100 million back in the day. No, you fucking didn't. You didn't.

Let's see it. Let's see your career, right? Okay? And then on top of it, I don't get anxiety because I have a very comprehensive understanding of what the equation of success is. It is inputs and it is outputs.

It is math. It is two plus two equals motherfucking four. And that is as simple as it gets, okay? So when you understand how it works and you remove this idea that it's not competition, and, you know, you're going to eventually make it just because you want to. And, you know, success is for everybody.

And you get your ass to work the way that you need to work and you understand that the inputs you get in the seeds you plant today are going to produce fruit in time. Now, you're on the right track. But, but, dude, if you understood the formula, you wouldn't have anxiety. I just understand it better than you because I've been down it and a lot of people don't. A lot of people listen to all this idealistic shit on the Internet and they get the wrong idea, and then when they get the wrong idea, they go execute on the wrong idea, and then when they execute on the wrong idea, they don't get any results.

And you know what they end up doing? They end up saying, fuck, it's me. I don't have what it takes. No, you. It's not that you don't have what it takes.

It's that you're following a bad plan that's told to you by someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're talking about. And then you believe that it's you because, you know, apparently everybody else is winning with this when isn't even true in the first place. You guys gotta stop believing the shit on the Internet, this bullshit. This is why I've started to, like, flex my actual companies a little bit, because you all need to know what real motherfuckers look like versus the Internet. It's a big difference.

But at the end of the day, here it is. It's real competition. You better go hard or you're not gonna get on the fucking team. You're certainly not gonna be an all star. And.

And you're not going to be a hall of famer. And you know what a hall of famer is? That's someone who makes millions and millions and millions of dollars, which is, I assume, is what the fuck you want. If you don't want that, maybe you could be an all star, but that person's still pretty fucking good. And if you just want to be on the team, bro, you're not going to do very well.

You got to be great, and you got to understand that you're in competition. And you got to understand that what you put in today will produce results tomorrow, 9126 months a year from now, which will be reflective and in proportion to the effort that you put in day by day by day by day by day. So whatever seeds you're planting today, whatever seeds you're planting tomorrow, whatever seeds you're planting the next day. Those will bear fruit out and over the course of time in proportion to how much you do now. And that is it, dude, there's no other magic to this.

There's no secret formula. There's no hack. You can't speed it up. It just is. It's what it is.

It's, it is like gravity is. That's like the sun is okay, it just is. And then lastly, you know why I don't have anxiety? Because what the fuck else am I going to do? I don't even have a college education, bro.

I. What, am I going to go dig ditches? I'm not digging ditches. I'm going to make this fucking work. So if you take away the options of failure and you take away the options of it not working out, you have to be all in because it's the only option.

Andy Frisella
And, dude, when you start a business, when I started my business, it was the only option. If I didn't do it, I would be working construction, bro. And no offense to construction workers, I respect the fuck out of them, but, bro, I didn't want to do that hard ass work my whole life. I know my family's from construction, bro. I know what 40 years of construction does to someone.

It's hard on them, bro, and I respect the fuck out of those are real men. But, dude, I'm be real. I'm too soft to do it. I didn't want to do it my whole life. So to me, I didn't have a fucking option.

My option was go fucking make it work or do something that was unacceptable for me to do, and that was it. And, dude, as you get down the path, as you become more successful and you do have options, you have to figure out ways to make it feel like and seem like you don't have any more options, which continues you down the path. So, like, bro, I don't deal with anxiety in that regard. The only anxiety that I deal with is when I'm not executing at that pace and I'm not going hard, and my body's telling me, man, you should be doing this, because that's what anxiety really is. Anxiety is an indicator, a physical manifestation of an indicator that you need to do something that you aren't doing.

And because I am one of those people who is built for the fucking game, I am built for the fight. Anytime I try to go on vacation, anytime I try to take it easy, anytime I try to go find balance, I am fucking miserable. And, dude, that might not sound okay to you. But there are people that are different. Not everybody's out here trying to go on picnics and have lemon.

I don't give a fuck about that. I want to fight. I want to win. I want to kick ass. That's who I am.

And if I'm not doing that, I feel like shit. Okay? So I go do it. And I think you'll. You'll feel the same.

Because we as human beings need a purpose. We need a mission. And all these motherfuckers out here who are complaining about their mental health, their biggest problem is they don't have a big enough mission. They're not committed to something. They're.

They're searching for the meaning of life instead of creating the meaning for their own life. Okay? So, no, I don't get the anxiety you're describing. I get it for other reasons. I get it because I'm not going hard enough or I'm trying to take a break or I'm trying to put myself in a box that all these other fucking people on the Internet do.

When we're. When we're bombarded by, you know, self care and victimhood culture and all this shit, it creeps into us and we start thinking like, damn, dude, you know, maybe there's something wrong with me for going hard. Maybe there's something wrong with me for wanting more. But, dude, I'm going to tell you right now that's bullshit. Because the world fucking needs it.

The world needs people to go out there, build companies, provide careers, create success, sponsor little League teams, take care of the community, inspire other people with the lives that they live and create a ripple effect that other people want to follow. And without those people, our culture is fucking dead. We need people who are straight up motherfucking killers, going out and building amazing shit so that your neighbors and their kids and your kids and everybody sees it, and they say, damn, dude, that's possible. I can do that. He did it.

I know that guy. He's just a normal guy. Puts his pants on the same way I do, and look what he did. The world needs that shit more than it's ever needed it. So, dude, go fucking hard.

Stop listening to these people who cry and complain and bitch about everything in their lives and realize that the happiest you're going to be in your entire life is when you look back on it and you say, God damn, dude, I fucking did some real shit. I helped some real people. I inspired people. I built shit that mattered. I provided this and this and this for my community.

Those are the things that are going to make you proud. And you're not going to die with a bunch of regret. Like 99% of people. I love it, man. I love it.

DJ
Well, guys. Andy. That was three. Yep. Don't be a ho.

Andy Frisella
Share the show. Yeah. Went from sleeping on the flow, now my jury box froze. Fuck a bowl, fuck a stove. Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole, got her own bank row, can't fold, just a no headshot case clothes.

693. Q&AF: Stepping On Bosses Toes, Going With The Flow & Dealing With Anxiety

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Episode Summary

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Episode Chapters

1. Introduction

2. Workplace Dynamics

3. Critiquing Passivity

4. Dealing with Anxiety

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

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