686. Q&AF: Becoming Mentally Tough, Working Other Jobs While Building Your Business & Transparency With Employees

Unknown Speaker

Yeah went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze fuck up bow fuck up stove counted millions in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her own bank roll can't fold dust a no head shot case cloak clothes. What is up, guys? It's Andy for Sella. And this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society.

Andy Frisella

And welcome to motherfucking reality, guys. Today we have Q and A f. That's where we submit that. You submit the queues and we give you the as. Maybe we should start asking.

Unknown Speaker

Be pretty cool. Yeah. We ask you questions. Yeah, I'll answer them. Yeah, we'll do that next time.

Andy Frisella

Maybe never. So you could submit your questions for the show a couple different ways. The first way is, guys, email those. Questions into ask andyforsella.com, or you go. On YouTube in the comment section of the Q and A F episodes, and you can drop your question in the comments.

Answer some from there as well. Now, throughout the week, we're gonna have shows within the show. Today we've got Q and a f. Tomorrow we're going to have CTI. That is cruise the Internet.

That's where we put up topics of the day on the screen. We talk about what we think is true, what we think is not true, and then we talk about how we, the people, their solution to these problems. We're probably gonna do a little real talk at some point this week. That's five to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk. And then we have 75 hard versus.

75 hard versus where someone who needed to get their shit together use 75 hard, which is the initial phase of the live hard program, to gain discipline, grit, fortitude, mental toughness, the ability to endure self esteem, self worth, confidence, and they change their life. And so we interview those people, and they talk about how they did what they did and how you can do the same. And you could find the live hard program, including 75 hard for free, on episode 20 eight of the audio feed only. That's 20 eight. It is free.

There is a book on my website called the book on mental toughness. It covers the entire live hard program, plus ten chapters on mental toughness, what it is, how to develop it, and why you need it in life, and what it's going to do for you. And then we have some case studies on some successful individuals who've used it. We have this thing on the show we call the fee. We say, go pay the fee.

What that means is we don't run ads on the show. You're going to notice that. And we need your help to get the show and the message out, okay? We're always battling censorship, shadow bans, traffic throttles, things like that. And if you think the message is worth getting out, we need you to share it.

So my agreement is if I'm not going to run ads on the show, I'm going to finance the show all by myself. I'm going to do all this shit. I just asked that you help share the show, so don't be a ho. Share the show. All right.

What's happening? What's going on, brother? Nothing, dude. Yeah, what's up with you? Oh, nothing much.

Unknown Speaker

Nothing much. Wrapping the week up, we got coming, but what's coming up down the pipe. We got anything, anything crazy coming up? I mean, apparently your hamburgers are getting limited according to Curtis. All right, guys.

Andy, question number one.

Um, no, man. We have anything crazy coming up. I don't know. Do we? We got summer smash first.

Where are. We are going to smash the summer. Yeah. Sold out the tickets in 57 seconds. That's so fucking crazy, man.

Like, it's not crazy, but it's crazy. Well, that's these guys here listening right now. Yeah. I appreciate you guys, man. You guys are always backing us up.

Andy Frisella

You're always taking care of us. You're always supporting what we do. You're going to battle for us in the comments. It's fucking awesome, man. We're building quite the.

Quite the movement here. It's gonna be a nice little party. Yeah. So I appreciate you guys just want to say this. I don't say it enough, but I really appreciate you guys.

You know, we do come in here every week and we try to put out valuable info, and I hope that it makes your life better in some. Some way. And it's just cool to watch you guys go out and put this information into play and improve your lives and get better, and it's just fucking cool, man. I was just thinking about it on the drive in today about how fortunate, um, I am, and we are to be able to, you know, just have this life, and that comes from you guys supporting us. So I just want to say thank you, guys.

I appreciate the fuck out of it. Yeah, no, it's fucking awesome. Yeah. Who's performing this year? Yeah, we got a.

We got, we got. Oh, fuck, yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be good, bro. It's gonna be fucking lit. Yeah, throw some.

Bro. It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be a fucking party. Of a century. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome.

Unknown Speaker

Fuck, man. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah, I'm excited. I gotta get my shirt.

Andy Frisella

Yeah. You gonna wear a shirt with a hamburger on it? Yeah, fuck, yeah, I will. You know, but, like, I'm not a hamburger guy. That's the crazy thing.

No, you're. You're a refined palate. Yeah, like, you're a fancy guy. Yeah, like, I mean, come on, you could do. Pick anything, you know what I'm saying?

But I bet if you made a hamburger, it'd be pretty fancy. My hamburgers? Yeah, I mean, they're nice. I don't do cheeseburgers. Yeah, they gotta be.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah. You know, but I got hamburgers. Fucking peasants. I like my. I like.

I make my own aioli. I don't know what that is. You know what aioli is? I put bacon on there. Yeah, no, I do.

Like, I'm actually. Emily does. I don't do it. Yeah, you put tuxedos on your shit. I would if it were me, bro.

Andy Frisella

I'd be having, like, bologna and cheese with Doritos on it. Hey, there's something. That's the shit I. Time and place. That shit was awesome.

Unknown Speaker

There's a time still fucking awesome. Yeah. Then I'll make my own aiolis, and, you know, I'll throw some, like, smoked gouda on there. Yeah. You know, I'm saying.

Andy Frisella

Sounds fancy. Faints, all. It's fancy. I know, dude, you. It's juicy.

Yeah. So, like, when you were a kid, you didn't have anything you like? That's all. I dress over the gourmet food. That's all I dreamed about.

Really? 100%. No, I like. I mean, my mom could cook her ass off. Yeah, but she wasn't cooking, like, aioli.

Unknown Speaker

No. Fucking no. No. Avocado toast. Mm mm.

Andy Frisella

Yeah. No, we had, like, where'd you get this fancy from? Cinnamon toast. Cinnamon toast. Good.

Unknown Speaker

Cinnamon toast is good. That's the struggle meal right there. Cinnamon toast. Some good shit. Yeah.

Cinnamon toast is fire. There ain't nothing better than the smell of those. Those cinnamon rolls. That's probably the best smell ever, dude. Bro, you want to hear some crazy shit?

You take some saltine crackers. Joe, you know where I'm going with this. Oh, really? Oh, you take salt. Listen, saltine crackers.

You throw some butter on that shit, sprinkle it with cinnamon sugar. Microwave that bitch for, like, 15 seconds. Bro. Listen, they'll change your fucking life. It actually sounds all right.

It will change your life. You know, what I like, I like saltine crackers with peanut butter on them. I bet you like saltine crackers just plain.

Andy Frisella

I actually do, bitch. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah, yeah. I actually do. I fucking eat the motherfuckers by the handful. I wipe the spices off of my food, bro.

Andy Frisella

I wipe it off. They bring that shit out, I fucking wipe it off. Just the salt and pepper. Take it off. Throw that shit in the trash.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah. Don't you know I'm white? You fuckers trying to choke me with all your spices? Oh, man. Let's make some people better today, Andy.

Let's do it, guys. For more recipes, go to hiddenforce.com. That's right, bro. We should do that. Just throw up all the fucking hidden gem recipes on the website.

Andy Frisella

No, we should do cooking skits where me and you cook stuff. Let's do it. Yeah, let's do it. Cheeseburgers first episode. No, it's peanut butter and jelly competition.

Unknown Speaker

We do have to have that. We do. Let's do that. Yeah, let's do it for the people. All right, let's get into these questions, man.

We got some good one. Let's start off the first one. Got 14 year old here. So let's get into this first one. Andy, guys.

Andy, question number one. Hey, Andy. I'm a 14 year old who is trying to become more mentally tough and learn confidence and determination. I'm currently reading your book on mental toughness. I just wanted some advice on how I can develop those things so I can dominate in the things I do and not care about what people say or think.

Thanks a lot. Well, look, here's the thing. As a young man, you know, at 14, you're pretty much with it on what's going on in the world, okay? So anybody who's gonna say, oh, 14 year olds, listen to your show, listen, that's a young man. Those, those age guys fought wars hundreds of years ago, okay?

Andy Frisella

So shut the fuck up. Secondly, look, bro, the fact that you're aware of this right now at your age is a tremendous advantage for you against everyone else because most people don't figure out what you're talking about until they're probably in their twenties or thirties, if they're lucky. Some people don't figure it out ever. So the fact that you're aware of this and the fact that you're wanting to improve, that's a tremendous sign, man. And so this is just going to come down to you waking up, you know, working hard, doing the right things, doing the best that you can.

And, dude, eventually this is going to materialize for you because, dude, you're so young and you're already driven. You're already looking on how to improve, you're already looking on how to build a life. And I would just say, be patient, man, and keep working, keep showing up. Read the book. You know what I'm saying?

Practice the tools that are in that book and it's going to come, man. I think the fact that you got to understand, like, when you're young, especially, you're always, like, in this phase of uncertainty, you know, do, do, am I going to have what it takes? Do you think I'll be one of the guys that gets to make it? Do you think if I, you know, I'll get, like, I used to think of it like this when I was young. Like, I used to think of it like you got chosen, you know, like, I call it the success fairy.

Like the success fairy floated down from the sky and took its magic wand and tapped certain people on the head and those are the people that get to make it. And that's what I always thought growing up, and that's entirely untrue. The truth is, like we talk about frequently on the show, is that it's inputs and outputs and it doesn't matter what age you are, it doesn't matter when you start, it doesn't matter if you're 14, it doesn't matter if you're 54, it doesn't matter. What matters is, is that you put in the inputs and the outputs will come. So as long as you're 14 years old and you're starting to put in the inputs and you're aware of the concepts of training and putting yourself through intentionally difficult things to improve your mental resilience and your mental toughness, you're going to be fine, man.

So that's what it's going to take to make it. If you continue down that path, you will be one of those people that everybody else thinks is chosen. All right? So keep working, keep doing, you know, keep focus. Don't get wrapped up in all this stuff that your friends are in.

You know, make sure you're having some fun with your friends, but don't do the drugs and alcohol and all the shit that gets you off track. Stay on track and good things are gonna happen, man. Yeah. What's your take? Because I feel like, you know, that young generation, man, I think at first I think this is fucking awesome.

Unknown Speaker

We got. I love a young, young kid, man. Cuz it's very refreshing to see that, right? Like, I think about when we went to the Washington fair almost every day, bro. Yeah.

Like, in seeing those just young men, or I look at Curtis, Curtis's family. Yeah. Like, his young boys, man. Like. Like, it's refreshing to see.

But I also feel like there's a counter to this, too, where it's like, you know, the young generation, man, some of these young kids, they can be so, like, vile to each other. Like just fucking animals to each other. Like, just mean. There's a lot of pent up emotions and animosity and, like, I mean, we see this stuff all the time on the Internet. Just these young kids losing their minds, you know, doing crazy things.

What would be your recommendation? And not necessarily just to young people, but just people in general, how do you quiet out the noise and the distractions of the world? Dude, I think I said this on the last q and a f. It is. It is literally irrelevant.

Andy Frisella

It's irrelevant what other people say. And once you come to understand that, the noise quiets. Okay, if you can understand that, it is irrelevant what people gossip. It is irrelevant what they say. It is irrelevant if they laugh.

It is irrelevant if they doubt you. It is irrelevant if they talk shit. And you understand that the only thing is relevant is what you do. You're going to succeed. And so how do you silence the noise?

You silence the noise by accepting what reality is. Has nothing to do with those people, has everything to do with your actions. And if you're smart, you will take that negativity and you will draw the energy out of it, and you will let that propel you with productive action. And that is how you do that, okay? Because it's never going to stop.

And the bigger you get, the more people talk. Dude, I have people talk shit on me every day for no other reason than I'm. That I'm doing stuff with my life, and I've, you know, to this point, been very successful. And that bothers people, and people don't like that. And I don't give a shit because I know that if I just keep doing what I'm doing, I'm going to get where I want to go.

And that's the attitude everybody should have. Everybody should understand that other people's opinions, other people's gossip, other people's shit talk, other people's hate, is legitimately irrelevant. And the only time it becomes relevant is when we stop the actions that we're putting in because it paralyzes us, because it creates doubt, it creates uncertainty, it creates embarrassment for us. And so we stop taking action, and then we stop moving forward. But those two things are actually unrelated because that's a decision that we're making as an individual.

So if you want to turn it down, accept reality, it's irrelevant. And all that's relevant is what you do, and then learn to use the energy in a productive way so that when you do hear and see these things, you're like, well, fuck that person. And you go out and you do the thing even harder. So that's. That's how you do that, man.

Unknown Speaker

Is it almost fair to say, like, it's almost ignorant to think that you can completely, like, the noise doesn't stop. It's still there. It's just whether or not you're choosing to look at it or take it. Into, no, dude, you're gonna see it, like, and you're gonna look at it, and you're gonna hear it. That's my point.

Andy Frisella

There's no avoiding it. You can't control what people say. You can't control that they're negative. You can't control that they hate their own lives. And for that reason, they projected onto.

You can't control that. And you are gonna see it, especially with social media, especially with, you know, the way that we communicate in society right now. And what you guys have to understand is that if you're not okay dealing with this, you cannot make it. You cannot make it. Because it gets more and more and more and more and more the bigger you get.

So I would get comfortable with it right now. That way, it's not a problem later. Okay. Because a lot of people, they do okay. They do okay.

They do okay. They do okay. And then it gets to be too much and they stop. And you don't want to be one of those people either. So I would suggest that as a new, ambitious person in the game, whether you're 14 or 44, that you learn to deal with this in a productive way immediately, because it's going to serve you the rest of your life.

There's no changing that. That's like saying, hey, I wish I could change the weather and make it never rain ever again. Well, fuck, dude. I. I guess that would be cool.

Like, you can't do it. No, you just buy a fucking umbrella. Keep it. That's it. And you keep moving.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah, I fucking love that. I love it, guys. Andy, question number two. Andy, you've mentioned in the past that you worked other jobs to stay on your feet while running your businesses. In the early years, what jobs did you do and what would you recommend?

I guess if they were in the same situation, how did you balance it? I guess, yeah, I did a lot of different things. I worked at a bar. I worked at a gym. I did side jobs, concrete, building fences.

Andy Frisella

I put on concerts. That was one thing I did. That was probably the best thing I did to make money.

Fuck. What else did I do? I mean, did junk cleanup, side jobs, whatever the fuck I could do, man. Yeah, ins and outs. Yeah, right.

Yeah, whatever I needed to do. But the main gigs were the bar and the music production. Those were things I did consistently for a number of years. And how did you balance that? I guess, I mean.

Unknown Speaker

Cause starting a business has its own challenges. And so how were you able to balance the having to work those ins and outs jobs while also running the business as well? Like, how. How did that was. It becomes time.

Andy Frisella

Well, you gotta realize, I didn't have a choice. It was either do it or be out of business. So I didn't have a choice, so I had to do it. So, like, I. It wasn't about balance.

It was about did it get done? And so I would work at the store. Chris and I would work at the store during the day, and at night, we would do the other shit, you know? And on the weekends, we were closed on Sundays for the first seven years, and that's when I would do the side shit. Can we talk a little bit?

Unknown Speaker

Because, I mean, like, there's a lot of things that you went through early on in the business from sleeping on the mattress, having to work those sides. Can we just talk a minute? I guess when we're looking at entrepreneurship about sacrifices and what real sacrifices will look like for those that are trying to get into the entrepreneur space, yeah. They'Re going to look like missed birthday parties, missed weddings, missed holidays. They're going to look like missed events out on the weekends.

Andy Frisella

It's total commitment. That's the problem that people fail to realize, like, it's not. Balance is later brought in the early fucking first five years of whatever it is you're building there, there's nothing there. Like you, if you go into it thinking, man, I got to get this balanced out. I got to make this balanced.

I got to have a balanced lifestyle. You're going to get fucking destroyed, because it takes way more than that. It takes exponentially more than that. It takes fucking everything you have. It's total chaos, and it's total desperation to even survive if you're bootstrapping and you're coming up with nothing.

So that's the commitment and now we have all these weak little fucking pussies that don't know anything about anything, that are influenced by these fucking fake entrepreneurs on the Internet who think that they can get rich in a fucking week. And when it doesn't happen, they get pissed off, bro, you're being lied to. It's hard. It takes time. It's total commitment.

And anything less than that, you're going to fail. That's the reality. And people like to argue with me about that. Well, motherfucker, every time I argue with someone about that, let's take a bank check on what the fuck they've done versus what I've done, okay? It's not comparable shit.

So you can argue with me, but let's compare results. It takes everything, bro. That's what it takes. And I'm not saying you can't earn a living with less than that. I'm not saying you can't have a nice little side business with less than that, but that's not what I'm talking about here.

I come here and I give you guys the perspective of how to be great, not how to be okay, not how to compete, but how to win fucking championships. That's the perspective I'm speaking from. So if you want, you know, if you want balance and you want to make a few thousand dollars extra, certainly there's opportunities for that, but that's not what I'm talking about when I talk about these things. I'm talking about taking something from idea to implementation to success at a high level and doing it at scale in a big way. I'm not talking about selling fucking magnets on Amazon, bro.

I'm talking about building a real company so, you know, understand. That's the perspective I speak from. I speak from the perspective of highest level of performance possible. And so many people don't understand the truth in the reality because it is so misrepresented on the Internet that they blame themselves when they can't get anything going, when they've been sold a bill of goods about the process that just isn't even true. And if we're honest with each, with each other, you're the one who's a fucking idiot because you're the one looking at people and taking their advice and realizing, not realizing that they haven't built anything and they haven't created anything and they're making all their money just selling you some bullshit that they never actually did.

So, like, dude, that's your fault. Because you're looking for the hack. You're looking for the secret. And as long as you look for the hack and you look for the secret, there are going to be plenty of predators out there that are willing to take your money and tell you bullshit, okay? But I'm telling you that that shit is fucking not true.

Okay? And I'm telling you the reason that you don't have people selling courses that say this shit is because that's a hard course to sell, okay? Hey, it's going to take everything you got. It's going to take way longer than you think. You're going to lose all your fucking friends along the way.

Yeah. You're going to make new friends, but you're going to spend a lot of time alone. You're going to be stressed, you're going to be tired, you're going to be frustrated, you're going to be angry. You're going to get bitter sometimes. You're going to want to quit every motherfucking day.

How do you sell that to someone? That's a hard sale. But that's the reality of entrepreneurship in the real game, okay? And yeah, it is fun. And yes, you do win, but the amount of times you win is 2%, and the amount of times you lose is 98%, and you don't have any of these motherfuckers on the Internet talking about their losses.

Bro, I lose way more than I win. There's way more times than that. I try shit, and it doesn't work. That I try shit, and it does work. You just don't see the shit that it doesn't work because it doesn't work.

You see what I'm saying? So, like, dude, anybody out here who's acting like they got the golden touch and they have the secret and they have. Bro, they're fucking bullshit. They're fucking liars. They're stealing your money.

They're fucking gonna sell you a bill of goods. It's never gonna happen for you. And what's gonna end up happen is you're gonna spend two years doing this, two years on the next hack, two years on before you're in it, you're twelve years deep. You wasted twelve years that could have been put into something real, and you're gonna be bitter about it, and you're probably gonna just say, fuck it. I'll just take a job doing this, and you'll live your whole life saying, fuck, I wish I could have done that.

You know? You know, I was thinking when you were answering this, it's like, it almost makes me look at this idea of personal freedom a little bit differently, too. Right. Because you're saying, like, in the beginning where, you know, you're having to turn things down and say no by force. Right.

Unknown Speaker

And so you have to go through that in order to get to a place in life where you can say no by choice. Right. Like, oh, no, I'm not going to this simply because I don't want to fucking go right in the beginning, it's like, no, I couldn't go because I. Had to fucking work. Yeah.

You know? And so it makes it. It looks at personal. I mean, it makes me look at personal freedom a little bit differently because I feel like, you know, the idea of entrepreneurship is that you're going to, the moment you become an entrepreneur, you're immediately free to do whatever the fuck you want to do. Yeah.

And I guess technically you are, but at what cost, you know, I'm saying. Well, I mean, bro, it's pretty nice. And I have to do anything that you don't want to do. Yeah. I mean, I like that.

Andy Frisella

In fact, I opt out of almost everything. You know what I mean? I don't want to do shit. Yeah. I want to do my life.

This is my life here. That's my life at home. I like my life, and I don't really give a shit about anything else. Yeah. You know, so.

Unknown Speaker

Well, that's earned, right? Yeah. You got to pay your dues for that. You got to that place. Yeah.

Andy Frisella

But, like, dude, you know, a lot of these kids and these young people are all focused on just cash flow so they can go buy a fucking lambo, bro. You don't want to do that. You want to spend your time building a real business that has an equitable value on the back end. So, yes, you can make money along the way, but eventually you get to a point where that business is worth tens, hundreds of millions of dollars, where you don't have to fucking come up with a new widget every two weeks. You.

You see what I'm saying? And a lot of these guys are so impatient that they don't want to put that time into creating anything real anymore, and it's very frustrating. Yo, that's real shit, man. Guys. Andy, question number three.

Unknown Speaker

What's up? Andy, I want to give you a quick thank you for all you and the fellows do. Has changed my life for the better. I'm 25 years old and just opened my first business, a home health agency. I'm currently in the hiring process for caregivers and want to be totally transparent with them.

I am a first time business owner let alone a first timer in the healthcare industry. My question is, can you be too transparent with employees? I want to keep them in the loop on the health of the business, business functions, and that there are maybe bumps in the road as a startup, but I will also do everything in my power to take care of them. Any advice on this is much appreciated. Transparency from ownership to employees, how does that work?

How should it work? Well, it depends on what we're talking about here. I mean, if you're coming up to people and you're saying, hey, man, I don't know, I'm a first time business owner, which just sounds like what you're doing here. Okay? Hey, I don't know.

Andy Frisella

You know, like, hey, I'm just trying this. I'm a first time business owner with like, no confidence. Your people are not going to believe in you, which means they're not going to stay there and they're not going to buy in. They're not going to do a good job. They're going to see the job as some sort of bridge to the next thing because you're lacking the confidence to assert yourself as a leader.

You're the fucking leader. It's your company. You have to walk in there and say, hey, I'm going to do the best I can. We're going to do this. What's the vision?

How are we doing this? How are we going to break this down? What steps are we going to take? You know, most people that own businesses don't even understand where they're taking the business five years from now. Where are you taking the business five years from now?

What's that vision look like? How does your employee's life fit into that? What's that gonna look like? Right. You don't walk in and say, I don't know what I'm doing, even if you don't know what you're doing.

Okay, so, yeah, there is a way to be too transparent, especially in the beginning when people are questioning you anyway. You don't wanna reinforce their doubt. You wanna be optimistic. You wanna paint a picture. You wanna say, hey, this is what I'm gonna do.

This is the intent for the business. This is where you could build your career. This is how we're gonna do it. This is how I want you to help us and, and take charge. You see what I'm saying?

But, like, as far as transparency in terms of performance, yeah, that's an absolute. Because people can't know that they need to improve if they don't know what the problem is. So, yeah, the transparency on performance metrics and data and all these things, that's a real thing that you have to have. But transparency on, like, my feelings or my mental health or my. Bro, your job as a leader is to keep as much shit off of your employees fucking shoulders that you possibly can to allow them to effectively do their role so that the entire machine operates efficiently and effectively.

Okay? So if you're coming in there every day and you're being transparent about, oh, I'm having mental health day and I'm. Oh, I'm not sure about. I'm having really a lot of self doubt, and you're acting like you're fucking some therapy patient to your employees, bro. They're all gonna fucking quit.

Okay? You have to learn some fucking mental toughness and some strength. I go read every leadership book that you could get your hands on, bro. And I look yourself in the mirror when you wake up in the morning and say, I'm the fucking man and I'm gonna dominate my motherfucking day every day. Cause it sounds like you're lacking confidence.

I'd also do 75 hard. So you get some belief in yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that changes, too?

Unknown Speaker

Because, like, I know for you, it was. You were, what, six years in before you got your. Your first employee. Yeah. You know, but, like, does.

Does that fear of. I guess that fear of having to lead somebody for that first time. Right. Like, you and Chris working six years, that's brotherhood. Right, right.

But then you add in this. This new person, the stranger you never met, and now there's this responsibility that's there. Right? Like, what. What was that like, what does that fear like?

And does it matter how far in the business you are for that fear to go away? Well, first of all, when I got my first employees, I didn't understand. I didn't know. I didn't understand the idea of being responsible for their careers. I just looked at it like, most people look at it like, here's a job.

Andy Frisella

Here's the money. Do the job. Okay? But that's not enough. And people will resent you for that.

People want to contribute. They want to build. They want to have responsibility. They want to have meaning. They want to have purpose.

They want to have value. And if you don't allow them to do that, they're not going to stay. Okay? So when you. When I started, you know, I looked at it as, like, do this, I'll pay you.

Here's what it is. And that didn't work very well. We had high turnover. We had people that came and went, and it's pretty much, we were pretty much like every other business. But when I got clear on what we were going to do, and I made it very clear that we were doing it, I followed it up with real action.

That's where culture started to change around, and that's where we started having people buy in, and that's where everybody started rowing in unison. And that's how we got to this point. We got to this point by working and caring and investing and developing hundreds of individuals over the course of time. And there's no, you know, employee tree that you can go pick model employees off of. I get this question all the time.

Where do you get all your people? Your people are all excellent. Our people are excellent because they put the time in and develop themselves because we put the time in to direct them in that way. We can't do all the work for them. They do the work, but we definitely work very hard to instill the idea of their responsibility, of their own personal development.

And they do it. The good ones do. And, you know, it's weird to me that business owners are totally oblivious to that role that they have, which is to professionally and personally develop their people. So, you know. Yeah, man.

Back in the day when I started, I sucked as a leader. And that's why I can speak on it now because I was fucking terrible. And all the things I just said, I learned through mistakes and I learned over time. And I can promise you I'm telling you the right shit because I know what works and I know what doesn't work. I've done both of them.

Unknown Speaker

Yeah. Well, I think it's no surprise either that, you know, you still got employees from that first group, right? Yeah. 17 years. Yeah.

1718 years. So it's like, obviously there's something, bro. And I have a number of people who have left here and went on to create very successful businesses of their own or have very successful careers and other things outside of their own. And we're still great friends to this day. And they value the time they came here because they were able to learn so much and get in that habit of developing them their skillset, which allowed them to go out in the world and be successful.

Andy Frisella

And ultimately, that's the coolest thing as a business owner, when you have your people inside thriving and then you have your people that end up leaving, going out and thriving, too. That's fucking cool, man. It feels good. It feels like you're doing it the right way. You're making people better.

And that's a very rewarding thing. Like, when I lay my head down at night, I am very proud of the work that we've done with people. Have there been some bad eggs that we've, you know. Yeah, of course. That's, that's how it works.

But the reality is, is if you invest in your people and you get them on the track of learning how to develop them themselves, they will. They will develop themselves, and they'll be very grateful for you putting them on that path. And a lot of business owners don't take that responsibility because they think, like I said, here's the money, do the job. And that's never going to create the culture, that's never going to create the big project. That's never going to materialize into the thing that you wanted to materialize in.

You have to actually build relationships with these people. Um, that's real and authentic and genuine. You have to give a fuck about them. That's what it comes down to. You have to give a fuck.

Unknown Speaker

I love it, man. Let's do some extra sauce. Yeah, I'll do some extra sauce. We're 30 minutes in. We got do one more.

Let's get some sauce in here then, guys. Andy, question number four. Andy, thank you for everything. You and your team provide. Truly has helped me a ton over the last four years.

Im not where I want to be yet, but I am light years ahead of where I ever thought I would be. Since ive started to take my personal development more seriously, I have leveled up greatly. I dont feel bad about the people ive had to cut out of my life. But lately I feel a guilt at times specifically with how I am living my life. The vehicle I have, the house my wife and I recently purchased, random other things I'm able to enjoy because some of the financial freedoms we've been able to experience.

I don't have any fuck you money yet, but I am working on it. Is it normal to have a sense of guilt when you are moving on and leveling up? Is it normal to feel a certain way when you want more than what you had growing up or what your friends are doing? Or am I overthinking things and I just need to watch my own bobber and. And keep grinding?

Andy Frisella

Number one, I think it is common for people to feel that way. But let me explain to you why you shouldn't feel that way, all right? When you feel that way and you look around and you look at, like, other people's beaters and their lifestyle, and you're driving an Escalade and you feel good or whatever, right? Like, whatever you've got going on your level of success, and you look at them and you're like, fuck, you know? And you get that little twinge of, like, guilt.

I want you to remember all the nights, all the weekends, all the long hours, all the missed vacations, all the missed holidays, all the missed ball games, all the missed events that you passed on to get ahead that they went and enjoyed, okay? You paid the price. They did not pay the price. You've earned what you have, and they have also earned what they have, okay? So when you look at it, you need to stop, and you need to remember all the hard shit that you did.

And then after you go through that little visualization process, you need to look yourself in the mirror and say, motherfucker, I earned that shit. Fuck anybody that doesn't like it. That's the first thing, okay? Cause you did earn it. If you didn't earn it, you wouldn't have it.

All right? Unless you were a trust fund kid or something, which I'm assuming you're not no con man. If you were that selling courses. Hold on. If you were that, you wouldn't feel guilty about it, right?

Okay. Right. So that's the first part. The second part is, is that you have an obligation to be successful. You have an obligation to live a great life.

You have an obligation to get more and build more and create more than your parents did for you. That is the point. That is why people have kids, to progress them down the path of life, if they're decent parents. And if we look at the Bible, the Bible even talks about this. It talks about wasting your potential.

It talks about not going out and using your gifts. It talks about that as being the greatest slap in the face to God that you could possibly have. So you are meant to go do this biblically, to go out and be the most that you can. And here's the third part of it. We live in a world right now, and the reason that you feel guilty is because we're filled with victim culture.

We're filled with a bunch of soft people who don't want to go out and create anything. They don't want to work. They want to sit on their ass. They want to scroll. They want to watch Netflix.

They want to eat fucking shit from uber eats, and they want to be fat little fucking bitches and complain about how they don't have anything. Well, what you have to understand is we as the entrepreneurs, we as the driven people, the ambitious people in society, have an obligation to set the tone for the next generation. Your children, their friends, their friends friends should be looking at you being like, I want to be like Mister Stevens. He's fucking kicking ass. He's bro.

And that's noble. That's a noble thing. So when you feel guilty and you feel like, oh, man. Because we all, what we all do is we paint this, usually what happens is we have one or two comments that we've gotten from someone along the way, right? And those comments get burned into our heart, burned into our mind, and then we go to like, you know, do something that, you know, we know that person wouldn't approve of and we hesitate.

All right? And dude, what you're doing in that position is you are literally stealing the inspiration from the people coming behind you because you're afraid of some fucking loser having a comment about your shit, okay? I had a guy write me recently and his message was like, hey, man, look, I love everything you say, but let me tell you something. When I get home from working twelve hour days on the construction site, the last thing I want to do is see your fucking cars on my instagram. Well, then unfollow, bitch, because I like cars and I've earned them.

And fuck you if you don't like them. I don't give a shit. It's my fucking page with my name at the top. You know that page with your name at the top? That's where you post the shit that you like and fucking, that's what I fucking told them.

So I don't give a shit about what people say or think, and neither should you. And every time you feel guilty, think of those three things. Think of one, you've earned it, okay? Two, it's a biblical calling. If you are God's child, he wants you to go out and expand your potential and pursue your potential as much as possible and shine as bright as possible.

It says that in the Bible, okay? Three, it's an obligation to the future generations of the United States of America. The way that we fix what's going on in the world is by fixing the culture. And the way to fix the culture is by training a bunch of young savages to go out and kick ass and be good people, okay? And you got to show them the kick ass part.

You got to show them what that looks like. They got to be able to see it. They got to be able to point at your car when they drive by. And one day they say, that's going to be my car. We have to do that, okay?

And that's an obligation. So don't feel bad. Roll your windows down, turn that DMX up, and fuck what anybody says about it. I fucking love it, man. I love it.

Unknown Speaker

DMX, though. I like DMX. DMX is a good. Fuck you. You know where my dog's at?

Andy Frisella

Yeah, that's right. I feel you. That's right. I got you. I love it, man.

Unknown Speaker

Well, guys. Andy, that was four. Yeah. Don't be a whore, yeah. Went from sleeping on the flow now my jury box froze?

Fuck up bowl, fuck up stove? Counted millions in a cold, bad bitch booted swole? Got up on bank roll, can't fold, just a no head shot case closer.

686. Q&AF: Becoming Mentally Tough, Working Other Jobs While Building Your Business & Transparency With Employees

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1. Introduction to Q&AF

2. Developing Mental Toughness

3. Balancing Multiple Jobs

4. Transparency with Employees

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Books

Content Warnings:

Transcript