Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-13-24

Bill Burr
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast, and I'm just. I'm just checking in on you, seeing how you're doing, how your day's going. See how your week's doing.

Do you feel heard this week? Mmm. A little bit of water to water. A little bit of water to start my day. I'm here in fucking Boston, Massachusetts.

I'm not gonna lie to you. I think I had the set of my life last night as far as just the biggest rush I've ever got from doing any sort of jokes or whatever in front of a crowd. Last night, I got to be a very small part of Tom Brady's induction into the Patriots hall of Fame. He got his red jacket and all of that, and the sheer amount of people, it was at Gillette State. They asked me to do it, like, in February, and I was like, all right.

And it just seemed to me like it was gonna be a banquet. You know what I mean? It just kind of seemed like it was gonna be one of those things, you know, if they don't do it before a game. I was picturing, you know, something like the size of the hard Rock cafe, whatever, that thing behind Fenway. I thought maybe it was going to be somewhere there.

And so freckles gets on with his life, and all of a sudden the gig's coming up, and I find out it's going to be a Gillette stadium. And I'm like, oh, all right. Is it like the Seahawks, where they have a theater in their, you know, stadium? Is that what it is? Is it over at Patriot place?

Like, no. Gillette Stadium. And I'm like, where they play football? And they. It's like, yeah.

I go, how many people are gonna be there? And they were like, it's sold out. I was like, what? How many people is that? And he's like, I don't know, like, 50, 55,000 people.

So anyway, I go, well, wait, what do I have to do? And they go, all right, you gotta do five minutes to open the show, five minute monologue. And then we have some. They have photos of Tom with different haircuts and different celebrities. They want you to come up and make jokes about that, right?

And they would just go out and, like, roast Tom and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and all that stuff. And I was like, all right. I was like, I don't want to roast the guy. I want to thank him, you know? So I never really wanted to roast the guy.

And then also, you know, as the gig was coming up, you know, he got. He got, you know, destroyed on the Netflix thing. So I'm like, that's already been done. I'm not gonna do that. And then, plus, I hate this whole fucking new thing that, you know, if you're going, it's, like, your night, and you're gonna go and accept an award, there's some asshole comedian up there, like, ripping you a new one.

It's like, wait a minute. I thought, like, I took a chance. I went after a dream, and I succeeded. And this is supposed to be my night. And now you're up here, you know, making fun of my shirt and just being like, I don't know, like, somewhere along the line, it's just like, if somebody is getting a ward, you just fucking tear them a new asshole.

Like, it turned, like, an award show into, like, a roast or something. So I was like, I don't want to do that. So anyway, I land, we drive over there, and I show, you know, they had, like, a soundcheck thing, and I see the whole thing set up going, jesus Christ. Like, 50 something foot thousand football fans are not gonna be listening to some stupid stand up comedian if they're waiting for Tom Brady. So I'm not gonna lie to you.

Nervous, right? So here, let me shut this window here. So anyway, I go over there, and they've been asking me for my monologue forever, right? And you know what's funny is, like, here's the thing. You're never given the monologue, because once you do, then you know they're gonna start going, I don't know about this.

I don't know about that. So we just kept saying, you know, we didn't have one. I'm not gonna lie to you. I didn't. I wrote everything yesterday.

But, you know, I've been doing this a while, so it's not that big a deal. It's only five minutes, right? So I show up, and they say, okay, so we saw them get in your monologue. Do you have any idea what you want to do? And I said, all right.

I go, well, yeah, I'm just going to kind of talk about the history of being a. My experience of being a Patriots fan. I go, I don't want to roast the guy. And then they were like, we don't want you to roast the guy. We don't want you to roast the guy.

And then I'm thinking, like, well, that's. That's what I've been hearing. The whole time, they, like, we never said that. And that is just classic, like, the telephone game. Somewhere between them and me, I got the complete opposite information.

And I was thinking, thank God. Uh, thank God I brought that up. Cause what if I went out there and they're thinking I was gonna do something nice, and it went the other way? So anyway, and the people that, you know, they couldn't have been nicer. They treated me so, like, great.

But I had, like, I was, oh, my God. Imagine if I didn't. Imagine if I just said, all right, I'll roast again. And they wanted me to come out and be nice or whatever, and I came out, and I just.

So for you, young comedians always ask, going, just double check it. I was. I was told I was supposed to do this, you know, and just make sure. So then they go, no, we don't want you roast him. Then I was like, oh, okay, okay.

Thank God. Thank God. All right. I didn't want to do that. So they're like, all right, cool.

And they go, what were you gonna do? And I said, you know, I'm just gonna talk about how crazy it is that, you know, I never thought, as a Patriots fan, that this is where we would have ended up. And basically, my overall thing was, you know, we used to play in, like, that high school football stadium. We barely felt like we were in the league, you know? And, you know, we would have these moments where we would pick the right guys, and then just something would happen.

Roughing the passer against the Raiders or, like, you know, and our coaches just were forever leaving. Chuck Fairbanks was, like the guy in the seventies, and all of a sudden, he just had, I'm fucking out of here. And he leaves, and then we go back down again after that great 76 team. And then Raymond Berry comes along, oh, we're going to Super bowl. Then we play the 85 bears.

Get the shit kicked out of us, then we suck again. And it just sort of seemed like we were never gonna quite get our head over the water. That was basically what I did. And then along came a guy, Bob Kraft. So that's what I'm supposed to do.

So they go, okay, you're gonna kick off. I was told through my people, right, that I was going on first. So I'm like, all right. I go on first. I gotta do my five minutes in front of 50,000 frigging people.

Jesus Christ. And it was daylight. The sun's still out. Cause it's summertime, obviously, and sunlight outside. The combination of two of those, that is kryptonite for stand up comedy, right?

So anyway, before I go on. And they said, oh, we have one musical performance is gonna happen before you go on. And I'm like, okay, cool. I go, who's coming on? They go, oh, you know, it's a surprise guest.

And I'm like, it's a surprise guest. And then she whispers, Jay Z.

And I literally nodded and just turned around and just walked towards the closest wall and was muttering to myself, going, why do I do stuff like this? This is so stupid. I should have just stayed home. I can't follow this guy. This is gonna be so.

All of a sudden, dry ice. And all of a sudden, Jay Z comes out and just. Is Jay Z. He just comes out. He's killing it so hard.

There's, like a moment I forget I have to go on next. Cause I'm going like, oh, my God, that's Jay Z. He's, like, right there. One of the greatest to ever do it. This is unbelievable.

Then I'm, like, fanboying out, like, can I meet that guy? Can I meet that guy? They're like, no. He's exiting on the other side of the stage. Then I'm like, oh, shit.

He exits the other side of the stage, then I gotta go on, right? So anyway, he fucking kills. And the crowd goes nuts. Cause they had no idea that he was gonna be there. And it was just like.

It was so cool. Cause he only did one song, so it was almost like. And you weren't expecting to see him. Like, the whole vibe was like, holy shit. Oh, my God, is that Jay Z?

That's Jay Z. Holy shit. And then he was just gone. So the crowd was still talking to each other. And then they go, now, wait a long time out there.

And I somehow. I don't know. I think I forget what I said, but I got him early to cheer, and then I just started riffing about parking on somebody's lawn and walpole and walking along the active train tracks while you were hammered underneath route one and all. I just kind of went through the whole history of it, and I don't even remember what I said. I just remember it went great.

And I walked off stage, and I was looking at club Sotom. Like, I go. I go, that went pretty good, honey. And he was like, ten out of ten. And I was psyched.

And then, like. But I was like, oh, I still gotta do, like, this thing with the pictures, you know? And what was funny was they thought the show might be a little bit long, and they wanted to cut the segment, and I was, like, going, ah, no, but I'm going on after Peyton Manning, and I wanted to, I wanted to tease Peyton a little bit, so we kind of said that, and they said, all right, the segment's still in there, right? So after I did the opening bit and it went well, then I was psyched for, like, 2 seconds. I was like, ah, fuck, I gotta go back on again.

And then I felt like that idiot at, like, a casino who just won't go back to the room. It's like, dude, you won. You got your chips, just go back to the room. You know, no one's gonna remember you on this thing. The only way they're gonna remember you on this fucking thing is if you eat your balls.

You somehow just got away with it, and now, you idiot, they were gonna cut the other thing, and now you gotta go on. It was like, really, like, it's crazy, right? So the show goes on for, like, another 90 minutes, and it's just like the who's who of patriots, they live streamed it, so I'm sure you can watch it somewhere.

What was it? Yeah, maybe like 90 minutes. But it was just like, randy Moss came out and got, like, this, this standing ovation, like, so long, he, like, started crying. Edelman, Wes Welker, Danny Amendola, Rob Gronkowski, and, like, and then in, in the. Vince Woolfolk, Ty lawyer Malloy, they just, they had him all.

Willie McGinnis, Mike Tirico was, like, hosting the thing, and then they had, like, then they had all the patriots that, like, I grew up watching were in the crowd, like, Raymond Claiborne, Stanley Morgan.

My mind's spinning. They just. Andre Tippett, they had all of these guys in the audience. Like, everywhere I looked, I was like, oh, my God, Mike Ruth was there, just was everybody. So I'm waiting to go on, right?

And I knew I had to go on after Amendola, right? So, like, these friggin athletes, too, by the way, are, like, so, like, low key, hilarious, like, underrated. Like, they're performing because I just think because they're so good at what they do, they're always speaking at banquets and all of that stuff. They always do interviews with the press, so they're, like, seasoned like a comedian. They were all telling stories, laughing, making fun of Tom or whatever good natured stuff.

Then they bring Peyton Manning out, and I'll tell you, amazing, girl, Peyton Manning got an amazing ovation, right? It's probably, it's cause he's done playing at this point. Then you always end up liking the guy. Cause Patrick Mahomes, when he did his, he got booed. Which all that's, that's really just respect.

Like, oh, man, this guy's got three. Fuck this guy. Right? So all of that was cool. And listening to these guys telling stories and talking about how hard they practiced and the way Tom was competitive during the, during the practices was incredible.

And everybody was funny, and it was really, like, engaging. It was just great, great stuff, great videos and all of that. So then Amendola goes up. Basically what they did was they had all these slides of Tom with his different haircuts and then standing with different celebrities. And so I was writing the jokes, and it's just like, well, I don't want to make fun of any of the celebrities in the photo, because none of them are.

Some of, most of them weren't there. And then also they weren't speaking. So the way I look at it is, if you're not on the thing, you know, even if you're there, if you're not coming up, you don't get a chance to get me back. So. Or even if you did go on, if you didn't come at me, I'm not gonna go at you.

Because I just feel like that's, I don't know. That just seems cheap, right? So I wrote all of these jokes, and I don't know, man, it just, it just could not have gone. The crowd was just so excited. I went up and every joke worked.

I had a great time. And I'm not gonna lie to you, when I got off stage, oh, you know what? There was one, here's a little inside thing. There was one picture of Tom with this one celebrity, and they had, they didn't, there was the one joke I had, they were like, you know, we don't know about that joke. And I was going like, nah, it's gonna be good.

I think it's gonna be good. And they're like, all right. This is such a baller move. They didn't argue with us on it. I just went up there and I had my little jokes on my cards.

And, like, that slide, the one that I thought, you know, they were like, we don't know about this. And I thought, I think it's all right. They just took this slide out.

So if you watch the clip, you'll see me laugh and then skip past the card. And I laugh because I immediately, it was funny. Like, I was sitting there.

I just thought it was like, I was like, that's fucking brilliant. That was the perfect way to handle that. You said nicely, hey, you know, maybe you shouldn't do this joke. And I'm like, no, I think it's pretty good. It's your event.

Like, we don't want to go back and forth. This guy. Just take the fucking slide out. What's he going to do? Do the joke with no slide?

It was like chess. It was like the chess mate move, you know, which I thought was like, that was like, that's such the patriot way. It's, like, literally the perfect defense.

I just had to take the sack on the joke.

But anyway, then we ended up doing, like, the. You know, I did the rest of them, and then I got to introduce the Matt Damon video, which was cool for me because I'm a huge fan of that guy. And I got off stage, and I actually got to meet Bob, Robert Kraft. I couldn't believe it, and my head was spinning. I got.

I swear to God, I sat down. The level of relief that I had, I felt like a battleship was taken off my chest. I just was like, I don't know. I mean, it's a lot of fucking people. It's a huge night, and you just don't.

And I was thinking, like, when I was there, I go, the only way people are gonna remember that I was here is if I fuck up really bad. I don't need this in my life. So. And, like, my brain was just talking to me, going, like, catastrophizing, and I had to be like, you know, old school guys. You grab somebody by their shirt, you know, grab them by their lapels.

I had to do that to the negative side of my brain and tell it to shut the fuck up and be like, why don't you just fucking relax and have a good time?

And I was like, well, because I'm a fucking lunatic, that's why.

But anyway, it ended up going. It went great. Everyone at the patriots organization could not have been nicer. It was.

It's the biggest rush in 32 years of being a standup comedian I've ever had. Going there in front of that many people. I mean, I felt like, you know, it was all the way up to the upper deck, last row, and it was so funny was, can he film my set? I go, you filmed it. Holy shit.

Did you film it? And he films it, right? So, like, they had the stage. They had the stage in, like, one end zone, so obviously nobody's gonna sit behind the stage. So that was the only part where the seats were empty, so.

But the angle Kenny took the video on is he's shooting it, and he was slightly in front of me. So I'm standing there, and in the video, all you see is empty seats.

And he never panned to the slides. So none of the jokes that I'm saying makes. Cause you gotta see the slide and then hear what I'm saying. It makes sense. So I have the video, but, like, I can't, like, post it because it doesn't, you know, it doesn't make any sense.

It's like, why is Bill doing stand up in a football stadium in front of eight people? Those are a couple of people with, like, those security coats on and, like, in the video. But anyways, I think there was, like, a live stream of it. So anyway, I just want to thank everybody, the New England Patriots, for making me feel so welcomed and all of that stuff and just having me be a part of that. And I hadn't even gotten to the part where everybody was saying all this amazing stuff.

And then the last three speakers, it was. It was Bill Belichick. He came out and he just got, like. It felt like a 20 minutes standing ovation. And then Robert Kraft went up, and then Tom went up and did, like, a half hour talking about just basically that, you know.

You know what my favorite part of the speech was? That he said, you know, he said, when in these six, he goes, it wasn't Bill Belichick. It wasn't me. It was us. It was all of us.

Because I remember when he went to Tampa and all those idiots were trying to say some dumb shit, like, wait a minute, was Tom the only reason why they won? And all of that? So it was fun to hear him say that. It was great. And anyway, so last night, I was like, you know, after it wrapped up, I was fucking flying.

I was so relieved. And then we get in the car, and we basically listened to the end of game three, the Celtics against the Mavs. And I remember I saw it. Like, we were checking the scores, and I saw the Celtics were down early, and I was like, yeah, I kind of felt like the Mavs were going to get this game. You know, maybe we can beat them in five.

Who knows? And then all of a sudden, we were back. We were up by five. Then we got up by, like, 21. And this is why I hate basketball, and this is why I won't watch playoff basketball in front of my kids, because somehow 21 becomes, like, a fucking three point lead.

And, like, I just don't want to be screaming and yelling at the fucking tv and saying that the NBA is fixed and that they've. That they are deliberately doing this because they don't want to sweep, because they want to make more money in all the conspiracy theory and all that stupid shit that comes flying out of your mouth. And then in the end, what happens is the Celtics win. So I would go through all of those stupid emotions. It's just like, I'm.

I'm too fucking old to do that. I love my kids too much. I don't need to. I don't need to be doing that. So I have all the games taped.

I've watched most of game one so far. I'm doing this like, I'm watching this fucking series like a stalker, you know? Like, I'm just sort of, like. I'm way off, way off in the woods peeking through, and I kind of, like. It's weird.

I'm, like, looking at it, like, why did I do that to myself all of these years? Why did I sit here and watch all of these games and go through this fucking emotion and just losing my mind? Cause most years you're gonna lose. You know, you're not gonna win. Like, why the fuck, like, why the fuck do I do this and to myself?

And it's just like. Cause sports are awesome and I have nothing better to do. And that's. That's. I don't know.

That's what I do. I don't know. I don't know why it doesn't make. Now that I've kind of pulled back, I'm thinking, like, well, I really put myself through a lot of shit emotionally, I didn't need to go through.

But, you know, why you do it is because of that one fucking time when it happens. Or maybe, you know, that's why that Tom Brady, that whole era with Belichick was just so unbelievable. And I, like, I just remember, like, when it was happening, enjoying it when it was happening, being like, this isn't because I'd been to Pittsburgh so many times, and I went there before Ben Roethlisberger was there. And I saw them, and they were all still talking about the seventies Steelers and which I thought was cool, but then I also thought it was like, wow, they're kind of living in the past here.

But then it's like, well, they haven't won one since. And then Ben came along, which was such a great thing for them to. Cause at some point, you do have to move on and get to the next thing. And so during that patriots run, I would always think about Pittsburgh and I'm going like, we're going to be doing this. We're going to be like 20 years later going, talking about, you know, Edelman's catch, you know, an 8th of an inch off the turf against in Atlanta, you know, coming, you know, coming back against the Falcons, the devastation of fucking Eli Manning.

Oh, man, that was the joke I had for Peyton. I was gonna be like, peyton, I always loved you. Cause you know what? I always related to you more than I related to Tom Brady, because like you, I am also not the best quarterback in my family.

Light hearted, right? He's got the stats. They both have two rings. So what are you gonna do? Anyway, so I got a day off here before I head back.

I'm gonna see some friends of mine, family and all of that. And I don't know, once again, I can't believe, you know, that was the other thing about it was like I was sitting there going, like, the amount of times I was getting hammered probably right here where I'm standing because this used to be a parking lot and we had season tickets, you know, and that was another thing, too. Like, they let me invite a bunch of my friends, and I went to the game. I went to the thing, the game. I went to the thing last night with all the guys I had season tickets with way back in fucking 88 and 89.

And my buddy was going, yeah, dude, it was section 209. I was like, that was the section. I was like, we had 200 level seats. I thought we were up at 300. And just laughing at all those old, you know, Sullivan stadium stories.

Like, one of my buddies, I remember he left with another friend of mine just to go down and get something to eat. My other buddy unfortunately passed away, right? And we. They went down there, and they were just gone for a while. And then all of a sudden they come back and one of my buddies is laughing his ass off.

And my other buddy, his fucking. His t shirt is ripped, like, up near the neck, and he has a bloody lip, and he's pissed at my friend. And we were like, what the fuck happened? And somehow my friend, who passed away, he got into it with this other guy, and the guy, for whatever reason, ended up fighting my other friend. And then my buddy, who fought, who was, like, innocent, like, didn't do anything, they were gonna throw him out with the other guy.

And then somebody else came over, said, no, no, no, the other guy started it. The other guy started it. And they said, okay, fine. And they only threw out the other guy. And they let my buddy come back with his shirt ripped while still bleeding.

Like, that's how different. Like, nowadays, it's like we don't care who started it. You're leaving. Whoever's with you, you're all fucking leaving. They have it, like, down, you know, carve out, you know, this.

This cancer, the whole fucking thing. They actually, you know, it's like when you watch those old NBA highlights and they would have, like, a legit fight, but if it didn't get fucking crazy, like, nobody. There was just two fouls and that was it. And nobody got thrown out of the game, which now just seems insane.

Talking about that, talking about how we would always forget to have food. We used to go over and we would take route one a. We would get on that, and we would take it to the end, and then it would, like, hit this street perpendicular, but if you went straight, it went into this little cul de sac, and at the end of the street was this field. And we used to park right in there. We'd pull up in a landscaping truck.

We had a big keg of beer every week, and we would never bring food. Like, somebody I thought you were bringing, it was. We were just idiots. And then we would just get, you know, at nine in the morning on, like, you know, maybe you had, like a, you know, a couple of eggs or something in your stomach and you just start pounding beers. And then you would walk along those active train tracks that the commuter rail went into Boston on under root one, and then come up and go to the game.

And I remember one week we finally remembered to bring him. To bring food. And we had this little, like, hibachi. And then we didn't. We didn't have anything to flip the burgers with.

So Frenchie had, like, a fucking. He had a screwdriver. And I was joking. I go, it's not even a regular screwdriver. So he can't get the spatula action.

So he was, like, stabbing the patties. And I remember the fire went out. This other knucklehead friend of mine, hammered, put lighter fluid back on over the patties. And I remember eating those fucking things, tasting that poison. But I was so fucking hungry and so drunk.

I needed something. Remember that? You thought it would, like, absorb the alcohol? Worst fucking hangover I've ever had. And I used to come home still fucking drunk.

And, you know, that was like. Like this. You can't even believe this. Like, the Patriots were selling so few tickets that year that the local. The local game would be blacked out.

They wouldn't even show the fucking game, if you can believe that. They didn't sell enough tickets, so you'd get a different game. So that was the worst, because I'd be coming home drunk, and my dad used to try to gauge how drunk I was, and it was like a quarterback controversy. Like, did Tony Eason or Doug fluty get in? I don't think Steve Grogan was around him.

89. I think he'd already retired, but it was like. It was like fucking three different quarterbacks. It felt like. And I couldn't remember the game.

And he would just be looking at me, you know? You know, your parents just look at you. They don't have to say anything. It's just like, you are an absolute disappointment, and you just kind of hang your head, like. And then.

And then, like an idiot, you know, as a young drunk, you don't know. The biggest thing in the world is shut the fuck up. It's like when you get pulled over by the cops. Just shut up. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Just shut the fuck up. But, you know, as a young kid, you just don't know any better. And your ego's going, like, I'll just talk to him and fool him that I'm not drunk. It's like every word that's coming out of your mouth, he's smelling what the hell you drank the last six fucking hours.

Yeah, and that whole. That whole fiasco. 88 and 89. I didn't have seasons in 88. My other buddies did.

I got them with them in 89. But I went to a bunch of games in 88 too. And I just remember the 1989 ended with a drinking and driving conviction. That's what I remembered. And that was sort of like.

That was, like, right as the eighties ended, that it ended my, you know, being an idiot. Like, I was 21 years old. I was still a freshman in college, you know? Cause, you know, I just didn't have any. I didn't have any direction and didn't have any money, so I had to work.

I was working my way through college. It was just like. I just felt like the biggest fucking loser. And then when I was sitting there with cuffs on, you know, and right around then, I knew I wanted to start. I wanted to be a comedian or whatever, but I was also like, I have to get through college.

Not even. Cause I wanted to. It was, like, important to my parents. You gotta get an education. So I.

That was. That was. Yeah, it took me getting arrested, and. Oh, my God, that was the worst I remember I was in the cell. My dad and brother picked me up, and they were cool.

And then, like, I go home at, like, four in the morning, 435. I don't even know what it was. And I pass out, and my dad wakes me up at, like, seven in the morning. I think you should go downstairs and tell your mother what happened. It's like, jesus fucking Christ, can I sleep this off?

And I went downstairs at the look of my mother's face. Oh, I still remember that.

The most disappointed I think she ever was in me. She didn't even say anything. It was just like, her face just. She just looked at me like. It was like she was blaming herself.

Like, where did I go wrong? And I was like, all right, I'm never gonna make her have that look on her face again, I hope, anyway, so, yeah. And here it is, all these years later, I end up going to that same fucking parking lot, and I got to do what I did last night, and I still cannot believe that that happened. Once again, thank you to everybody. Tom Brady's speech, in the end, was fucking insane.

It was like an inspirational speech while thanking everybody, you know, he's getting all choked up and stuff. It was perfect. Perfect evening. And then to go out and see the Celtics. Oh, my God.

Up three games to none, on the verge of winning another one, which would be fantastic, because, you know, just to get us one more ahead of the Lakers with their fucking padded resume, you know? I hate listening to Los Angeles Lakers fans say, we have 17. It's like, you don't. You don't. Okay.

You just don't. The first five were won in Minnesota. Like, if the Lakers moved to Las Vegas, right? And then they won the next one, like, Laker fans, what would you be doing if you heard people in Las Vegas going, we got 18. You'd be like, get the fuck outta here.

They won 13 in LA. You wouldn't say that. You'd say 17. Cause you don't know your fucking history. Anyway, that's the podcast.

I mean, I don't know how to explain this. In your world, if you guys like, whatever, whatever the fuck, you had to get certified in, pass the bar or something like that, like, I would never put it at that level. I got a couple friends of mine that became lawyers and watching them, how hard and how long they had to study, all right, maybe getting your instrument rating and aviation, that's what I feel like. Oh, God, that's gonna haunt me. I gotta do that at some point.

Someday I'll have the time when my kids are a little older. All right, that's it. Have a great weekend. You cuns and I will talk to you on Monday. Lord, forgive him.

Speaker B
He got them dark forces in him, but he also got a righteous cause for sinning them or murder me, so I gotta murder them first. Emergency doctors performing besiege us, Jesus, I ain't trying to be facetious, but cringes is mine, said the Lord, you said it better than norm leave niggas on Death Star reaping off rest for raiders for killing my best ball haters on permanent high haters as I escape in the Maybach bands slide, it's annihilating pumping brown sugar by the Angelo in Los Angeles like an evangelist I can introduce you to your maker bring you closer to nature ashes after they cremate you bastards hope you been reading your psalms and chapters paying your tithe being good Catholics are coming.

Bill Burr
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, June 13, 2016. What's going on? How the fuck are you? I'm hanging out here Sunday night.

There's 30.2 seconds left in game six, and barring an absolute miracle out there on the ice worthy of a lake placid sequel, I'm going to go out on the limb and say that the fucking Pittsburgh Penguins are going to win their fifth cup. Is this the fifth one that's fucking. You realize how successful that is? They've only been around since 67. The Bruins been around forever.

We only got six, you motherfuckers. Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins, man. That's fucking great. And really happy for Phil Kessel. This is actually a good one for me as a Bruins fan, because Joe Thornton was another former Bruins.

Either way, I was going to say, and I like both those fucking players. I mean, because of the Phil Kessel trade to Toronto, we won a cup. Granted, we then traded everybody the fuck away, but we did win a cup, you know, so I can say some shit to fucking Montreal fans. Finally. 20 seconds to go.

19. I'll tell you, this is the toughest trophy to win in a fucking goddamn professional sports.

This gotta be one of the most. How the fuck was that icing? The goalie played it. Ah, Jesus Christ. What is this?

The fucking NBA? By the way, I kind of. I guess I understand now why it's not as physical in the NBA. I actually looked up some of the rules, the. Obviously, the three second rule, and isn't even as, like, an offensive player.

Are you allowed to be? I don't know. No one of these guys can go down the fucking lane. A defensive player can't be in the fucking painted area for longer than 3 seconds or it's an illegal defense. He is allowed to stand there if he's within arm's length of the guy that he's guarding.

So all the guys got to do is just fucking run out to the three point land and they just clear it, clear the path. Right? And here comes the honor roll student right down the fucking lane. Like Jack Deja's quickness. Yeah.

His first step. Yeah. And the fact that there's now a fucking rule that says you can't have some giant fucking guy standing there. Oh, look at him going crazy. Wow.

Another one in the books.

You know something? I'm not claustrophobic, but one of the worst things you want to be after winning a championship is that person on the bottom of the fucking pile. You know, you literally go from, like, celebrating that you won to not even being able to breathe. You're like, yeah. And you get tackled and you just like, look it up.

Do you know that there's been times people who scored big fucking touchdowns and they get tackled by their teammates, they get, like, their fucking leg broken. It's unbelievable. Anyways, congratulations to the Pittsburgh Penguins. And Pittsburgh, great, great fucking hockey town. I know we've had our rivalry in that thing, but I've just been there too many times.

I got too many friends there. And congratulations to Joe Bartnik. He's got to be going fucking crazy right now. If I didn't have shit to do tomorrow, I would have gone over his place and watched the game. San Jose Sharks, though, man.

You know, he never made it to the final. So you got over the hump, and now you're going to have that bitter taste in your mouth. And hopefully you'll come back and win one. Unless my fucking Bruins get their shit together and then we fucking finally win one. So anyways, let's get on with the podcast here.

I had a. Yeah, I had my birthday weekend. Wonderful birthday weekend. Old Billy Booze bag was fucking throwing him down. Old Billy booze bag was acting a clown, right?

And fucking Joey Roses was over, right? Came over on my birthday to my house. When I say Joey, you say roses. He came over. Fucking guy was hilarious.

He came over with like, a bottle of gin, something, some. A fucking lemon. And then he had those. Those fucking red cherries that might or might not cause cancer, dude. Phil Kessel looks like he fucking.

He's like, works with wood, doesn't he like some weird guy that never married, but he could fucking, you know, make a Davenport out of a fucking tree stump.

You can't ate Phil Kessel, though. How's your breath? Pretty bad, eh? Oh, and the wonderful tradition of the NHL, the shaking of the hands, the show of mutual respect.

Anyways, yeah, so I fucking went, I went way too hard on my birthday, you know. Cause I didn't think any, you know, I didn't really do anything. I worked all fucking day. And then I came home, I had a Coors light and I was just like, you know what? It's my birthday.

I'll fucking have a scotch, right? Pick up my big giant fucking cube of ice and I threw down two scotches and next thing you know, fucking roses was coming over and I already had three in the fucking three in the wind column. So I don't really remember most probably the third, last third of the fucking night. And I don't know. All I know is I got a bunch of dirty looks from my wife the next day.

So last night I went out again and I only had like a couple of beers. And then that's it. That's it. I'm shutting it down again. That's how I stay in control.

You know, the thing about your liver is you don't want to spoil it. You know, I've slapped it around enough. So now I give it a break. And then just when it starts to think, hey, you know what? Everything is beautiful, I give it the old fucking right there, Fred.

That's what I do. I had a, it was actually a great weekend. I didn't do any stand up either. I got to get my fucking shit together. So I'm going to be doing a couple shows this week around LA because I got, I got Newark, Atlantic City and Baltimore coming up this weekend.

So I got to make sure the actor's ready to go nice and fucking tight there. And, but this weekend, you know, obviously celebrated my birthday Friday night. And let's see, what did I do? Sa, I went to somebody else's fucking birthday party. So, uh, and that one, that was the one that I actually didn't really drink at.

But I still felt horrible because at one point I had a tequila and after that I had birthday cake and then I smoked a cigar and then my body was just like, all right, can we, can we fucking pick a road here? Which, which way is the abuse going tonight? You know? But I was so hungover Saturday I couldn't even fucking walk the 10ft to my gym. And I was.

That's when I know. I was like, all right, dude. Yeah, what are you doing? So I shut it down. It's over.

Put a padlock on it.

I don't know how long I'm gonna go. I don't know. You know what it is? This is actually once the fucking playoffs are over, it's kind of easy. But I'm also gonna be starting peaky blinders, so that might be hard.

The way those fucking guys drink. I don't understand how you watch a show where everybody's boozing and you don't fucking drink. Any alcoholics out there? Like, how the fuck do you watch that stuff and just be like, well, everybody else is drinking. I feel like I'm being rude right now.

I'm thinking maybe I'm gonna shut it down till I go to Europe, but even then, I can't really drink. Cause I got a show every fucking night. But I did set myself up and in a hotel on one of those dates that there's actually a cigar bar right around the corner, so I might have my one for July.

I don't know. I feel like I'm just fucking babbling. This is just me just trying to keep my bad habits at bay. This is the deal. Either I'm not drinking at all, or I'm smoking too many cigars, or I cut down the cigars and I drink like a fucking lunatic.

You know what I mean? Like I've said before, I literally think the reason why people have kids is so they won't fucking drink themselves to death. Because once you fucking get yourself going in your career and you got some free time, why wouldn't you. Why wouldn't you walk over? What are you gonna fucking do, huh?

After that fucking horrible tragedy down there in Orlando? Which I will never fucking understand. Lunatic religious people. I just never understand how you get so fucked up in your head that you feel like that's your last act on earth, okay? That's the last thing you're gonna do.

And you think that you're gonna go somewhere good, that there's somebody after this, if there is somebody after this that judged you, that he's gonna be sitting there going like, all right, way to go. There you go. That was the right thing to do. Make millions of people sad. You know, it's just the fucking worst thing ever.

And I'm actually going to take a break here from tv, probably for other than sports. It's a great thing about sports is you can get away from that stuff, because I can't handle when something like this happens, how quickly. Oh, God. Is he getting booed? Is he getting booed?

You know it.

Poor bastard. Every fucking year. This is the funniest shit ever in hockey. Every fucking year, the commissioner of the league comes out, and he just gets fucking. I don't know why he's still getting booed.

Let's see this here. Hang on a second. Steve Summers wrote those words. Steve Summers wrote those words, and now it's engraved on the side of the Stanley Cup. I rubbed my balls on it right before it.

One of the greatest trophies in all the sport. Look at Mario Lemieux. Looking sharp, huh? He's got his anchorman sport coat on. Tom Burgundy.

Fucking. The fuck's his name? Oh, here he comes. There's no doubting the passion of hockey fans. This is as loud a building as I've ever heard of.

He's complimenting him. This is one of the loudest buildings I've ever heard. That Boeingham.

His children must cry. Every fucking year. So, anyways, back to the tragedy. Sorry. I can't handle whenever something like that fucking happens.

And then you got to sit there and listen to all of these fucking people trying to shoehorn their agendas and their. Their, you know, their fucking theories, and then somehow it always becomes democrat, liberal, fucking conservative, republican, Muslim, Christian, fucking gun control, NRA, and all that shit. And, you know, it's fucking. It's so stupid. You know what's funny?

If you look at the Daily news in New York City, right, they're anti gun. Which, you know, if that's what you want to be, that's what you want to be. So if you anti gun and you really want, you know, that to work, wouldn't you? What you need to do is persuade the other side to come over. Their headline is, thanks a lot, NRA, or some stupid shit like that, all that does is just get people's fucking backup.

All I'm saying is, just gonna be a bunch of people screaming and yelling, right? There's gonna be a couple of actors and actresses that are gonna say something stupid, right? I don't know what. But, you know, we're always good to do something like that. People in the fucking, people who forget that they're a dancing monkey and think that they could solve the country's problems for the fucking life of me.

I mean, I know I fucking talk about this shit, but I never try to offer solutions. You know, who am I? I tell Dick and shit, jokes and fucking strip malls. But I gotta tell you, though, I just wish people out of respect for the amount of fucking pain that was just inflicted on. I can't even imagine what that number.

50 people. How many people right now are just never gonna be the same? You would think that people could go 24 fucking hours without making it about their cause and screaming and yelling as much as they're trying to fucking help. Can you just. How about just, you know, can you go 20 fucking minutes before we got to listen to people saying, that's Obama's fault, and fucking this and that and everything?

You know what? I don't know whose fault it's nobody's fault. You know what it is, dude? Unfortunately, we're fucking. We're animals.

It's what it is. Most of us are decent enough not to do that, but it's just. What are you gonna do? It's just fucking horrible. Why would I talk about this shit?

You know why? Cause it's. Cause, how do you not? How do you not? Anyways, so Sidney Crosby got the MVP.

Got that little shiny house with the fucking, I don't know, disco hat on top of it. All right? When's he giving it to Phil Kessel? When's he giving it to Phil Kessel? Who's he handed off to first?

Who's he handed off to first? One of the great traditions of all sports, I'll tell you, it weighs fucking 9000 pounds until you put it over your head. Then it feels like a baby you're worried about dropping. You ever hear all the stories about the Stanley cup? All the fucking.

I can't believe they drink out of that thing every year. The amount of fucking stripper ass that has been sitting in that thing people pissing in it and all kinds of shit. At least it ends up at the bottom of a pool a couple times, you get some chlorine and I'm exposing myself to the fact I don't know who anybody is on the fucking penguins. All right? He handled it.

He just handed the cup to. Not Phil Kessel. Not Phil Kessel. Not Phil Kessel. Holding it up, holding it up.

Turning, spinning. What number is he? Number six. Not Phil Kessel. Jesus Christ.

He should have fucking skated around a little more daily, dude. I would fucking take off with that thing. I swear to God, if I ever got to do that thing. Be like when what's his face hits one of his fucking shots at the end of his practice. Speaking of which.

Jesus Christ. I was hoping for at least a fucking six game series with the Cavaliers. I guess that's not gonna happen, right? Anyways, let's plow ahead here with the podcast. I'll stop watching.

I gotta keep this on until at least I get to watch Phil Kessel hoist a fucking cup here, huh? The woodworker here. Anyways, you know what, I watched this sports this morning is I watched the Formula one race, the one up in Montreal, kind of getting into that sport, you know? Cause I never know what to do once hockey and basketball ends, you know? What am I gonna do, read?

God knows I'm not gonna fucking do that, right? I'm just filibustering here. Can you just fucking give the thing to Phil Kessel already? For fuck's sakes. I don't know if he's been waiting that long.

Come on, you gotta give it to Phil. He's fucking adorable.

Okay, here we go. Phil Kessel. Phil Kessel. Nope. Some assistant captain.

Oh, Jesus, that's smoking. I didn't recognize him with a hat on. He's not one of those guys whose fucking mustache and beard doesn't connect, you know? Jesus, he's got a terrible, patchy fucking. I don't know what.

Know what he's got going on there. That's really the thing. People can either, you know. You know what's the worst is the fucking neckbeard. You know, those people, it fucking.

It starts off all right by the ear, and then it just fucking goes. It does a nose dive. He has, like, the chinstrap goes right up and under. Then they got, like, five hairs on their upper lip, and he's just like, what are you doing? You know, tang has it now.

All right, this has to be excruciatingly boring. I'm gonna hit pause here until Phil Kessel gets it. And of course, they cut it off before he fucking hoist the thing. Cause they had to cut immediately to, hey, get your championship t shirts and fucking hats. All right.

I'll find a fucking clip of it. All right. With that, I'm gonna shut the tv off so I can actually focus here. Yeah. So shutting down the booze.

If I can shut down the booze, hit my little fucking gym out there, you know what I mean? Get myself a fucking man sports bra and fucking get after it, you know? Not smoke cigars. I'll be the most in shape and bored I've ever fucking been.

I gotta correct a couple of things from the last podcast I did on Thursday. John Sally is not dead.

I meant to say Anthony Mason. I don't know. I was half a fucking sleeper, right? And so I want to thank all you cunts on Twitter, too, that, like, you couldn't just write to me, hey, Bill. John, Sally isn't dead.

You had to put on Sally so he could have potentially saw it. Why the fuck would you do that to you? You know why? Cause you're fucking bored, that's why. You were hoping some fucking twitter dust up would happen?

I guess I just don't understand this whole fucking generation of yolo douches. They're all about filming people, getting them in trouble, hashtagging shit, adding people on stuff, just trying to constantly cause these fucking fights. It's unbelievable. Can't you just go outside and pick up a stick and pay cowboys and Indians like we used to? You to walk around with your fucking iPad and your.

Your gopro. Oh, shit. I got a GoPro for my birthday. I'm such a hypocrite.

I wanted to get one of those things. And, you know, I might. I'm toying with the idea of doing that show, the. How long can he go? Which is basically me pulling out of the driveway in my house.

And then you see how long I can go without snapping on people. But I just don't want to make myself look like a fucking lunatic, you know? Cause I feel like I've built up a great reputation for being even keeled on this podcast. Um, all right, let's do. Let's do a little fucking advertising reads here for the week.

Where the hell are we? All right, right here. Okay, hang on. What's up, Neil? What are we doing?

I want to be a taco man. You making tacos? What are you making? Tacos. Tacos.

But, I mean, is it gonna be anything special? Excuse me? What do you mean, anything special? Come over here before you start yelling at me. I mean, like, when you're making the tacos tonight, are you gonna add a little nene in there, or you just gonna fucking do it by the box?

Neil
I'm doing it by the box. Cause, yeah, I mean, it's just tacos. What do you. What would be different? I don't know.

Bill Burr
You always look in the fridge and you go, oh, you know what? I'll look at that. I didn't know we had bacon. I'll throw that in there. Nah.

Neil
Well, you know what? There is a little something different. I take that back. I did throw something in there that might be a little unexpected.

Bill Burr
When we return. When are you done? What do you mean, when am I done? Don't fucking talk to me like that. How far in are you on this thing?

None of your goddamn business. 23 minutes ah, Jesus, Bill. So this is gonna go on for another hour? Well, yeah, that's what I do. What are you talking about right now?

I'm talking about stamps.com. Oh. Have you talked about zip. Procluta? No, I haven't.

They're not on today. Oh, they're not? All right. No, they're not. I gotta finish this.

All right. Go back. All right, well, time it up while you're gonna. Like. Like when you make them.

Remember how Fred Flintstone used to come home? Well, mom coming through the door, and she had to have the Bronto burger ready. I. It's ready right now. What?

Neil
What are you looking for? What?

John Dacre. What? You know what kills me? Somebody sent me a tweet and said that on the Opie and Anthony show in 2000, 511 years ago, they showed me that come up. Somebody sent me that, too.

And they. I have absolutely no recollection of that. How would I forget that? Cause it was 2005. It was a long time ago.

Bill Burr
I know, but this is like. That's. I still remember, you know, we're late. We're late. Charlie bit my finger.

We're not late. I feel. Ow. All these fucking assholes. Are.

You just seen it now. It's like. Yeah, I haven't had time to see everything on the Internet. You fucking asshole. That's so stupid.

I. The more I'm on this, I like just talking into the abyss. I gotta stop fucking reading Twitter. I fucking hate people. You're addicted to Twitter.

Neil
You are truly addicted to Twitter. No, just my phone. I'm not doing that either. I was looking today. I was looking up all Formula one drivers.

Bill Burr
I watched two Formula one races in a row. Now I need to know everything about this sport. You're so rain man like that, though. You like. That's what you like to do?

Neil
Got to know everything. Got to find out everything. Yeah. And I get it all in there, and then I forget it, and then I move on to something else. And that's probably why I fucking forgot that video.

Yeah, probably. Do you know there's a Red Bull team in Formula one? And I'm just sitting. I don't. I didn't know that because I've just seen people wearing their jackets and jumpsuits and it's on the side of cars.

How did you not see it if I know this? Well, I was thinking, well, there was the Mercedes team, and then there was the Ferrari team, and then there was, like, Red Bull. I'm like, they're a fucking drink. So I was like, well, who made their engine? Who paid?

Bill Burr
Who made the car? And then they said it was a sponsor. They said it was tag Heuer Renault. It's like Tag Heuer is a fucking watch. It is.

Well, when I type in who makes your fucking engines, I don't want to hear about the watch people. Maybe you should leave out the fucking part.

All right, touche. I didn't know that that's how you get into Tag Heuer. But no, Red Bull is a huge brand, so of course they sponsor stuff like this. No, but they were saying, you know, the Ferrari, the Mercedes, and then they would never say what kind of fucking. They never said the Renault, that's a french company making the fucking engine.

And I think it's a british team. And then they're talking about a fucking energy drink where the other guys got to be like, mercedes, Ferrari. And you get to be like, yeah, man, of course. Those guys are like they've been doing it forever. And all of a sudden Red bull shows up, the yolo douches of fucking Formula One.

And they don't even tell me who makes their engine. I mean, that used to be like a big fucking thing back in the day. The reason why you won it was you were proven you're the best car company. And then everybody's like, well, shit, Ferrari won the last five. I'm gonna buy a Ferrari.

Not everybody. People could afford it. So I'm still confused. What's your problem with Red Bull? I didn't like how I wanna know who's making that engine that's winning the fucking race.

I don't give a fuck about the drink. Okay, so you haven't been able to figure out who makes the engine in this one particular race car? No, I had to look it up. Okay. This fucking young punk kid was not letting the guy who won the first three or four get past him to get into fourth place.

And the guy got impatient and I knew he was gonna. Cause that's what I would have done. And I knew he was a little bit older. I'm like, oh, he doesn't have time for this kid. And he fucking tried to go around the right and then he locked up the brakes and he spun out and he fucked himself out of like two spots on the last lap.

And everybody in the crowd went, oh, it's exciting. So at the end of the day, you got the information that you wanted. It was just the fact that Red Bull was in there that you are annoyed by. It's really hard to follow you sometimes. Okay.

Mercedes is a maker of cars. Yes. Yes. So when I know it's the Mercedes team, I know that the engineers, the mechanics, whatever the fuck you call them, that. That's their car, okay?

When they talk about the Ferrari team, I know that that's their car. I know who built the fucking thing. When you say Red Bull, who built. The Red Bull car? It's harder to figure out.

Hey, you wanna hear some? Oh, my God. What the fuck? What the fuck? Ah, I already forgot.

Neil
Are you onto another topic already? No. Cause that just remind me how I always. It just reminded me of a drink.

Bill Burr
What my dad called Grey Goose one time. He goes, hey, Bill. He goes, are you still drinking that blue swan? You know what? It just occurred to me.

Neil
That's where you get it from. That's where you get all that stuff. The last days of Dracula, two whores in a pool. You know, where'd the bitch go? Like, you get that from him?

Like, you guys have a vague idea of what it is that you're talking about. No, but I'm doing the movie thing. So you're just, like, throwing out signifiers. Like, you know that there's a girl and she's being slutty and there was a pool, so. Yeah, two whores in a pool.

And it's vampire, and they're doing some sort of an interview. So it's. Yeah, the last days of Dracula. Like, it's just. Well, I know I'm doing them only, like, the $10,000 pyramid.

Bill Burr
Like, I'm throwing out clues for the listener, and then they just go, oh, do you mean that? I go, yeah, I mean that. Because if I don't do that, I'm gonna sit there going, uh. And I'm not gonna remember. And then they're gonna be tortured.

So it becomes like a little game, you know what I mean? I wonder how you would do on that pyramid show. Cause you know they're bringing it back. I would do horrible on that show. You would just give them.

Neil
If I was giving ridiculous clues ever, right? Wouldn't you? All right, you know what? Let's play right now. I'm gonna get a fucking word.

Okay. And we're gonna. We're gonna play right now. All right, and I see if I can guess what it is based on your. All right, we'll do a couple of these.

Bill Burr
Get out of here. Get out. You gotta get a microphone. Go get a microphone. Let me finish reading this fucking advertising here.

Jesus Christ. I started this, like, 20 minutes ago. Hey, guys, remember way back in the day when I was talking about stamps.com. oh, I just realized you guys need to know what the fucking words are so you can play at home. All right, the words gonna be, uh.

Okay, it's gonna be Paris.

Something else in twat. I gotta have something filthy in there. Twat's gonna be the last one. All right, Paris Kardashians.

And what else? God, what the fuck else? This is why I would suck at it. I certainly couldn't create the fucking show. Paris Kardashian twat.

I need something before twat pitbulls. She'll get that one. I gotta give her an easy one. All right, let's get back to stamps.com, everybody. All right, thank God that's over.

So. I'm not. I am not. That's not one of my strong suits. All right, how many minutes are we up to here?

32. 32. What's she gonna do? She's still not back with the fucking microphone. Nia, it's in the closet.

Good gravy.

All right, we got. Well, we got letters this week. We got somebody from Poland.

Oh, some fucking musicians gonna tell me there's no guitar on Chameleon? Of course somebody's just gonna. Actually, that's not a guitar. It's a fucking xylophone. All right, whatever.

How'd your band do? How's your band? All right. And she's back. Oh, you know, I'm just gonna hit pause so we can stop torturing people here.

I love the pause button now. Okay, and then we're back, everybody. All right, once again, it's time to play the fucking $10,000 pyramid. All right, nia, you're up first. Will you be giving or receiving?

Neil
I will be receiving. Isn't that what they say? You'd be given a taking? Yeah, I don't. Do they say giving or receiving?

Bill Burr
I don't fucking. It's something like that. I don't think you be given the password or taking the fucking clues. All right, gun to your head, if you had to give a take. All right.

Okay, ready? Ready. Are we on the clock here? Yes. Add the tension.

Can we get a fucking clock timer here? I'm gonna get one of these on YouTube right now. No, we don't need to do that. All right, here we go. Use the stopwatch thing on the computer.

No, the people at home, the fans at home gotta hear a fucking clock going. All right, okay, we're back, and there's only 33 seconds on this clock. So there's four things you gotta get. Okay? Is there a topic or.

Neil
I'm just. No, there's nothing. This is just random shit that came out of my head. You got. You got 33 seconds.

Bill Burr
Let's see how many you can get. Okay. All right, you ready? Ready. And here we go.

Okay, this is a city. It's one of the great cities in the world. New York City. And people love it. And they talk down to you.

They fucking hate you. Oh, you smell. Get out of my country, you stupid American. What? You're a stupid American.

I'm better than you. You like my beret? Paris. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Stick it in my twad. I'm gonna marry a rapper. Hey, my dad doesn't. He has his dick, but he's a woman now. Kim Kardashian.

Neil
Kris Jenner. Hey, we gotta. I wonder what they're doing. Keeping up with Kardashian. Yes.

Bill Burr
You got two. Ah, you got two. You want to keep playing? Your clues are horrific. Shut up.

Neil
Hey, stick this up my twine. My dad's a girl now. What? But he still has his dick. It's true.

Bill Burr
It's all true. Everything I say. Stick this up my squat. And not what's supposed to be a clue. I was thinking she did a porno.

All right, let's do. Let's. We got two more. All right, here we go. You ready?

So you got past the first.

This is fun. All right, here we go. You ready? Okay, Neil, will you be taking or receiving? Giving or receiving?

Whatever the fuck it is. Receiving. Okay, here we go. It's like you saying that. All right, here we go.

Starting in three, two, one. All right. Well, we're misunderstood. I didn't bite that mailman. He looked at me first.

Neil
Pitbull. Yes. All right, this is something that you say and people get mad and it can smell sometimes, but if it's a fresh one, it's great. And you fucking stick it. You stick it, right?

Bill Burr
It's between your legs. It's between your legs. Vagina. Keep going. Pussy.

Yes. Worst name. Worst name. Cunt. Worse.

No, not as bad. Yes. Whoo. You did it. You did it.

Oh, that was great. That was great. Be asked to be on the rebooted pyramid show. That will never happen. That.

Neil
Come on. Come on. So, yeah, that's a real show you got. Yeah. You're gonna take work away from me.

Bill Burr
Oh, come on.

Neil
I will never be on a charades team with you. Oh, come on. I will never. I gotta come up with some. And do you?

Bill Burr
Well, why don't you do it? Why don't you fucking come up with something then? I'll do it. How about that? All right.

Didn't you just say that? Yes, Bill. All right. Why don't you. Way to come up.

No, I got it. Great idea. We'll do it on Thursday. Okay. We'll do it on Thursday.

All right. You come up with. We got the quick little timer there. I know. Stick it up my twat.

Actually, I probably disqualified the last one because I used the word twat when I was trying to get the Kardashians, right? Hey, Mary Rapp. Hey. Look at what we're doing over here. Keeping up with the Kardashians.

It worked, though. It did work. What do you want from me? All right. Coming off a bender here.

Hey, it's a rough one, you know. All right. Did you talk about your birthday? Yes, I did. I had a great time.

Mm hmm. It was a whole birthday weekend. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. I had my own little sad alcoholic one the night of my.

Where you were stone sober and you watched me and Joe DeRosa just fucking. We were having fun. You were having fun. That's true. But eventually I had to leave.

Yeah, well, you weren't partying, so, you know, what are you gonna do? And then, you know, last night was phenomenal also. And then I went down to the improv. Ben Bailey was in town. The great Ben Bailey.

Yeah. Yeah. We hung out. We had a couple drinks. Just fucking laughing, telling stories.

And DeRosa was down. It was a great time. You know, man, I gotta go to work tomorrow, so let me read these things, and I'm gonna go. This was fun. I'm gonna go have a taco.

All right. I'll see you in a little bit. Okay. Thank you for playing. We have a wonderful edition of our home game for you.

I think you got it. I think you actually got the two right in the end.

All right, here's somebody else I'm late to the party with on YouTube. But I'm sure I'm not the only one, right? Isn't that a song? I'm not the. I'm not the only one with mixed emotions.

Have you guys seen this kid that just. It's fucking hilarious. I feel bad cause he's got some sort of issue, but, like, he just. He just fucking goes around and he tells people this. This Charlie, is it Zelanoff.

He just fucking goes into gyms and tells people that he's the greatest. And he goes, let's spar. And they have no fucking clue. You know, he just goes in and he fights an accountant. And the accountant just kind of puts his gloves on and this kid swings for the fences and fucking knocks out an accountant.

And turns around and can see that one punch knocked out an accountant. And he was like, that guy was a marine. He talked all this shit, and he actually started calling out professional fighters. And I was surprised that some of them actually took time out of their day to fight the guy. And, I mean, it's some of the most compelling shit I've ever seen.

Granted, they have, like, 74,000 hits, 219,000 hits, 105,000 hits. So, once again, I'm sure you're just finding out about it now. Yes. Yes, I am. Have you watched the YouTube video that it just shows how the fucking differential works?

How the fuck did you miss that? Oh, that's right, because you don't have time to watch all of it. All right? So if you get a chance, watch this kid, Charlie Zelenoff.

Oh, my God. He's got the flip phone. And he just calls this guy. He keeps calling this guy a fucking clown. I don't know a lot about, like, people's, like, names and shit, but I will say this about the kid.

He's got the fucking balls to go in there, man. I wouldn't do that. Anybody can call up a professional boxer and talk shit, but to actually show up for the fucking match. Um, I don't know. He fought, like, he fought fought Floyd Mayweather, Sr.

And then he was losing, so he stepped out of the. Stepped out of the fucking ring and then stepped back in and tried to sucker punch the guy, and then somebody jumped in, like, bare knuckle beat him down. It was just. It's insane. Anyways, you got it.

You gotta watch it. Charlie Zelanoff. I'll spell it for you. Z e l E N O f F. I hope he doesn't get hurt, and I hope he doesn't hurt anybody, but he talks shit like, who's that fucking will forte character?

Um, Calhoun. What the fuck was his first name? Wait, will Forte Calhoun? Tim Calhoun. Um, Tim Calhoun.

I. Tim Calhoun, think that we should sell the Statue of Liberty. He talks shit like that. He's on the phone going, you're a fucking clown. I'm gonna come down there.

I'm the greatest of all time. You've been duckin me for years. You're a fucking clown. And he never raises it up. It's like.

It's some of the best shit talking I've heard just as far as, like, a unique style. So I gotta give it up for that. But it's definitely some of the more bizarre shit that you're gonna watch, which, of course, set me down a rabbit hole of watching people fight. And I saw the bus driver that throws the uppercut at that girl who's fucking screaming at him. And I know you're not supposed to hit a woman, but in defense of him, he led with an uppercut.

And I watched what happened when Buster Douglas did that. So in a way, I thought that that was a generally move before he grabbed her by her hair and threw her off the bus.

I know. The things that I find entertaining. I know I'm out of my mind. All right, Poland, everybody. I got a letter from Poland.

Hey, you freckled face fucker. Why won't you come to Poland? It's beautiful, and we have great alcohol.

I would love to go there. You know what the fuck I live on? Cause I live on the other side of the world, and you're the first guy that's asked me to go there. Maybe. I've had, like, maybe three emails.

I'll go there. I'll stand there in front of five of you Charles Bronson looking motherfuckers. I'll stand over there in front of you. You know, I don't give a shit. Heard you got nice beaches up north, and there's a nice town down south.

I don't know about Warsaw. I don't know what's going on there. Do you guys still have horses in your army? Have you fucking updated your shit? You know, you still live next to Germany.

You know, you got to watch out for those cunts. That was a cheap shot. All right. It's beautiful. We have alcohol.

All right, just a question. When will you come to the fucking Saudi Arabia? To the fucking Saudi Arabia or Dubai or Kuwait? Um, I don't know. When they like us.

I'm not going over there and getting kidnapped and getting my head sawed off on fucking YouTube. Hey, it's Bill Burr just checking in on you. And they fucking. You know, you'd have to. You'd have to say something.

Nah, you couldn't, because then you'd worry that they do something even worse to you. I wait till right as they got through the jugular. Oh, man, I would. Yeah, do a quick little Philly set on, on. Just say everything.

That would piss him off, which I would say, would I? No, I. You know what? I would be? I'd be rocking and crying.

I'd be. I'd be a bitch. How the fuck do you just sit there waiting for me to saw your fucking head off? Like, I know that doesn't happen in Saudi Arabia, but, you know, if you steal something in Saudi Arabia, they chop your fucking arm off. You know, I don't need that pressure.

You know, I don't fucking need that. Somebody just could just throw something stolen in your bag. Cause they stole it. Next thing you know, I'm going to chop chop Square, right? Granted, I don't know shit about any of these countries.

All I know is that we've. We've thrown enough rocks at the beehive over there. I don't feel like going over there and getting stuck. That's it, right? Dubai.

Yeah. I'd love to go to Dubai where they got a. Well, they got slave labor that built the whole fucking thing, and they confiscated their passports. And the number one cause of death with them is suicide. I can't go there and support that shit.

That old fucking city looks like. Like the Kardashians designed it. It's beyond fucking cheesy. You got the tallest fucking building in the world. Do you?

Kuwait. I got no problem with that. Saudi Arabia scares me. Dubai, when you start paying the people that build the skyscrapers, I'll go there. And Kuwait, you know?

I don't know. I mean, you guys should kind of like us, right? We helped you out in the early nineties. Well, didn't we? I don't know.

I have no idea. That part of the world scares me. I have connected in Dubai when I was coming back from Mumbai, India. But I just hear all these horrible stories that they promise all these people in Asia that you're going to come over there, there's all these jobs, you're going to make all this money. And then they come over and they confiscate their passports, and they don't let them fucking leave, and they see no way out and they kill themselves.

I don't know if that's true. I don't know if it was that or if that was at Walmart. I forget. All right. Hey, Billy funk face.

There's no guitar in that Herbie Hancock album. The bass player. The bass is played by Herbie on a synth, and Paul Jackson, the bassist, plays the guitar line on the higher register of the bass. I never fucking knew that. Love the podcast.

And stand up. Let's jam soon. See that? I made fun of you. And then what did you do?

You taught me something.

All right. X Men and sexism. A b is for Bill. I haven't seen the billboard Rose McGowan is upset about, and I agree with your assessment on the situation. But I think you mischaracterize the effect of displays of male dominance over women.

I mischaracterized it? Is that a word? It's not that someone sees a picture of a man choking out a woman and thinks it's okay, and then goes and does it himself rather. It's like a piece of a puzzle. Is this one of these fucking agenda people again?

A guy sees a picture of a man choking out a woman. Then he sees a picture of a man yelling at a woman. Then he sees a picture of a woman being backhanded by a man. You get the point? You see how they do this?

You see how he just led me across the fucking river to his side? Like I'm that fucking stupid? No, I don't get your point. This is what I understand. A kid fucking sees his parents, okay?

If the dad beats the shit out of his mom his entire fucking childhood, I understand that he'll either not do it or totally fucking do it. I understand that. But this whole fucking thing that you see images and then you do shit, okay? I watched a fucking racing car with Red Bull on it all day today. There's no fucking way I will ever drink it.

Certainly would not put it in with some vodka ever. I have no desire to ever drink that fucking drink. Human beings are way more fucking complex than the cartoon version. You know what I mean? Like, when people have meltdowns and people film it, and then, like, people are just, oh, he did that, then therefore he is that.

It's just people are way more complex than that. And you don't just see a picture of this and then see somebody yelling at this person and blah, blah, blah. That's all it. It just takes billboards and tv shows, and then all of. All of the way that I was raised goes out the window.

I can tell you this, sir, all right, with your little fucking Fisher price fucking point here that you're making is when I was a kid, the amount of violent fucking movies, I watched all the Friday the 13th. I watched all the fucking nightmare on Elm streets. I watched all the Halloween's, Halloween three, one of the worst fucking movies ever, season of the Witch. I watched all of those things. I saw Scarface when I was like, what?

How the fuck hold out 15? I saw all of that shit, okay? And I could tell you this. I never went out and killed somebody. So explain that to me.

I never hit a woman. I never did any of that. So I just. It's. I don't agree with that.

I don't agree with that having said that, I agreed with them saying that, you know, you could have picked a better picture. You know what I mean? I just looked at the picture. I was like, I don't want to see a woman getting choked. I don't want to see that.

You know, I don't want to look at that. Fast forward to where she breaks out of the chokehold. I'd like to see that. Anyways, let's continue on with this. You get the point.

Ugh. I fucking. I can't stand people. All right. After a while, the man sees the overall picture that our culture condones, dominance over women.

It's a piece of the larger cultural trend. This is literally paint by numbers. Like, this is all the shit that you see on tv. This type of thing happened a lot in old movies. Just watch any Humphrey Gbogart movie.

Movies can play a huge part in reinforcing gender inequality in a culture. Can I ask you a question, dude, or lady, whoever the fuck this is, do you ever see anything else in movies? Do you ever see anything else in movies? Do you just see what the man does to the woman? So what about now?

All these other movies, you know? So then I guess you would then agree that the latest Mad Max was an anti man movie, because I didn't see the movie, but evidently, the Mad Max guy doesn't do anything, and the woman takes the reins. So judging that this is the way that you view x men, then you must certainly see that the last Mad Max was obviously, you know, whatever, reverse misogynistic. What is that fucking word for someone who hates men? I always forget it because it's never used, it's never brought up.

It's just called being a strong woman.

Hatred of men.

Missandry. I don't know if I'm saying it right. M I s a n d r y.

Do you see it as that? I just don't think people are that simple. I think. I really believe that when someone is a little kid, okay, if they're a little kid and they're in your house and you're their parents, I really believe that whole thing, that your words become their thoughts 100%. I don't believe that people like you're with your kid every fucking day of your kid's life.

Up until when? I don't know. The first time they go away, the first 1012 years before they ship them off to camp. Or even if you don't do that, you could basically be with them almost every fucking day of their life for the first 15 years of their life. Okay?

And you're telling me that movie billboards and movies and that type of shit will undo all of your parenting? I can. Look, I can see some shit that you'll see a movie and it makes you want to go out and fucking, you know, play cowboys and Indians like we did, you know? But I never really went out and fucking killed anybody. Right?

I don't. I don't. I don't agree with that. I don't. I understand that the images are bad and that type of shit, I definitely get all of that.

But the fact I can't make that leap, that then it's all floating around in my head, and next thing you know, I punch my wife in the face. And it's not because I'm a bad guy and had a bad father. It's because I saw too many movie billboards in scenes, in movies I just. To make. To give movies that level of fucking power.

I. You know, I don't know. You want to fucking make me go get a beer? Okay, I'll go buy a candy bar. But I just don't see myself, you know, uppercutting some old lady in the food line because I saw the wrong movie.

Fucking billboard. I disagree with you. Agree to disagree, sir, or man? All right. Fiance's parents are evil, but I can't do anything about it.

All right? So I'm getting married this month. Super excited to marry the love of my life. Congratulations by the whole experience. But the whole experience is going to be awkward and weird because their parents don't like me.

In fact, they hate me. Oh, Jesus. I'll not give you the whole, what does she come from? Money. And you're fucking Billy Joel.

You marry an uptown girl, huh? You singing in your garage? Let's see. I'll not give you the whole convoluted story, but the upshot is that they're conservative, upper class, highly successful latin american business types, while I'm an australian, middle class lefty arts graduate. I knew they came from money.

Anyway, we've been together for almost a decade now, and even though I know they've said horrible things about me behind my back and tried to talk her into leaving me numerous times, they've always been pleasant to my face. Oh, that's even worse. That said, there were a few years there where they didn't talk to either of us after we told them we wouldn't baptize the hypothetical children we still don't have, but we. We don't mention that. Okay, so you guys are agnostic or something.

I don't know. Basically, it's going to kill me to have to look at their stupid fucking heads on my wedding day. We only invited them out of a sense of obligation, but now it's hitting home that I'm actually going to be part of this family. Now, what I need is a long term plan of attack to survive the next few decades until they shuffle, shuffle off this mortal coil. I know living a happy life with their daughter should, oh, should be all the revenge I need.

But if you saw her father's face, you'd want to give him the old. Right there. Fred, too. Guess I need some kind of middle ground. Any advice?

Fanta nuts. I don't even know what that means. Go fuck yourself. Come to Australia. I imagine that's some sort of red nut over there.

I have no idea. Oh, Joe Bartnik just texted me. Said, smiling like the butcher's dog. Good for him. All right.

Any advice? The most important thing that you said there is that you're realizing that you're marrying into this family, and that is something that you never really fucking think about enough. I don't think enough people do until you just picture this person is gonna hold your child someday and want to take the kid to a ballgame, you know, or whatever. So there is that. But I don't know the only way to do it.

There's one way to do it. You could just try to kill the guy with kindness, or you could just sit down and look at the guy and just say, look, man, who's kidding who? I know you don't like me. I know you're just being polite out of, you know, respect for your daughter or whatever, but you don't have to be nice to me anymore. You know, we can see each other on the holidays or whatever, anytime you want to come over.

What? Don't say that. Don't say you don't want him coming over. Ah, Jesus, that would drive me nuts. If the guy was being phony nice to me, I would at some point, you know, have to say to the guy, listen, you don't.

Maybe he's just say that. Go out golfing with the guy and just say, listen, man, I don't want to be any more of a thorn in your side than I already am. Just know that you don't have to pretend to like me. Okay? Then he just fucking walks off the first tee.

I got to be honest with you, dude. I don't know what to tell. These are tough ones, man. This is really fucking. How close do you live to them, that's another one.

You know, if you guys live a state away and you only see them three, four times a year, you can tough out a couple of weekends. You know what I mean? However, if, you know, if they live right down the fucking street, you know, and then they don't approve of you, and then you have a kid, and then they're going to question how you're bringing it up, and they're already getting involved. They're already. I can tell you this.

They're already way too far fucking involved. All right, this is the deal. You can say whatever the fuck you want about whoever your kid's dating until they get married. Once they get fucking married, you got to back off. You know?

Unless it's obviously something horrible, the person's. One person's abusing the other person, but, like, they got to back the fuck off. So maybe you got to have that conversation. Just be like, listen, I know you don't like me, but I love your daughter and she loves me, and we got married, so you need to deal with that. Yeah, fuck him.

Yeah, you need to deal with it. We got married, all right? So I don't need you coming over here, giving me the fucking stink face of my own house, all right? You already did it once. You do it again, I'm gonna take your head, I'm gonna stick it right in the fucking icebox.

All right? I fucking had enough of you. Yeah, fuck this guy. I have no good advice for this. For you, sir.

I don't know what to tell you. I just hope it works out, but don't take any shit from the guy. And when it comes to you and your wife, I would just make jokes about it, you know, I'd be like, hey, you know, I'm gonna go hang out with your dad today. She'd be like, really? No, he hates me, remember?

Whatever. You know, just keep it light. But don't joke about it too much. Cause then she'll say, but it really bothers me that he doesn't like you. They want everybody to like each other.

Sir, I think you're gonna be okay. But I'm not. I'd be lying to you if I didn't tell you that 717 percent of me thinks that you're really fucking stepping into some shit here. But you know what? Everybody who gets married does.

So good luck to you. Good luck to you. But don't take any shit from that guy. I think you can get to the mom you can get to. You can charm her.

Right? I bet you can charm her. And once women are more forgiving, right? Until they're not, and then they'll fucking kill you in your sleep. But generally speaking, they're fucking more forgiving.

And I think if they. If she really sees a love between the two, you, she could back off. And then that's what you do. This is what you do. You divide and conquer.

Fuck him. All right, I think I'm on to something. Fuck that guy. Make her mom love you. All right?

That's it. And then she'll start nagging at him, and he'll either go one or two ways. He'll either give in and eventually, like you, or two, he'll. It'll fucking eat him up, and he'll die sooner. All right.

Jesus. Had to go all the way to there, bill. Yeah, evidently it did. All right, last one. Here we go.

Dating an older guy. Oh, hey, Bill. I'm a 22 year old female from slovenia. Slovenia. Model.

Thank you for the podcast. It makes me laugh out loud, which not many things can do. That's fucking great. I would love to go over there at some point. Also, that eastern european tour is gonna fucking happen.

I just have to have time in my schedule. Cause all of those countries I've never been to, from fucking Lithuania and fucking Astoria, whatever the fucking. That other one is up there all the way down through Romania and back up. All I know is if I can fucking somehow get over and see all those countries, get a bunch of different stamps on my passport, I'm into that shit. Plus, every one of those places like Prague or something has all those art deco.

All that art deco furniture that all the places over here they order it from for nothing and then jack it up over here? What am I gonna do? Buy a desk over there and then ship it fucking around the world? Like I'm gonna save any money. That's a stupid idea.

Anyways. I'm 22 years old. Okay? I would love to hear your take on my situation. I'm a university student, and I play sports professionally here in Slovenia.

Keep him busy working out about eight times a week. My first coach since I was, like, twelve years old is now my really close friend. Oh, my God. His name isn't Woody, is it? He since moved on to coach internationally.

I almost said couch coach internationally, but we still keep in touch. He knows me from when I was a little girl, and he used to always tell me I was like his younger sister, but I. But recently I noticed he switched his approach. Gross. He's a 35 year old single guy.

Oh, my God, the fucking red flags. I can barely see the type here anymore. And he only comes to Slovenia in July through August. We were always able to talk for hours, tell failed attempts at dating to each other, and generally get along better than I have ever got along with anybody in my life so far. He's always made me laugh, compliments my personality and how good I look, but never in a creepier, disturbing way.

Okay, all right. My experience with guys my age was never like that. I'm not trying to say I'm too mature for them, but I would always compare them to him, and they would mostly bore me. And connection was never there as much as it is with him. I feel like boys my age are pushovers, at least those I had experiences with.

And I feel they couldn't offer me in a relationship more than this older guy offers me in just a friendship. Yeah. And also when you're 35, this guy's going to be 50, so there's also that. And then you're still going to want to go out, and he's going to be ready for nap time, so know that, too. He's 35.

He's almost out of the league if you're an athlete, you know what I mean? 35. That's when you got to start taking the illegal drugs to hang around for next a couple seasons, right? Anyways, she says. Anyways, we are hanging out a lot during this summer, and I feel more and more vibes and attempts from him.

He takes me out to eat and drink. He is always asking me somewhere. I know he's putting the moves on me. My issue is that I. Now, I know we are in different stages of our lives.

I know he wants to get married and have children, too. Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. Fuck this guy. You're 22.

You got the whole life ahead of you. When the fuck did he start hitting on you? Now, this isn't fair. This is like shooting fish in a barrel. You've known him since you were twelve.

No, no, no. Stay away from this guy.

This is how I know this guy's a creep. Cause even I wouldn't do this. Okay. Fucking walk away. Sir, stand down.

I most certainly am not ready for anything like that. Children, all that shit she's saying. I like to go. I like to drink, go out, my friends getting compliments from guys, all to soothe my self esteem, which is not fully developed yet. Exactly.

I'm still finding myself. And I know you will interpret this as I want to fuck around. No, I don't. But this is not really the case, I actually want to find a right person and fall in love. Well, you're very mature for your age.

Actually, 22. I'm dodging his attempts and usually laugh him off when he puts the moves on me. Get away from this guy. I don't want to read this. Making me uncomfortable.

Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. I don't give a fuck. Fuck this shit. Fuck this. She said, sorry if that was hard to read.

My English is a little rusty. Your English is tremendous. Yeah. Stay away from this guy, all right? I can't even.

That was so disturbing to me that I can't even remember if he's still currently your coach. Anyways, I feel more vibes. Wait a minute. Wait. Where the fuck is this thing?

I gotta find my first coach since I was twelve. He since moved on to coach internationally, but we still keep in touch, all right? I don't know when the fuck he moved on, but what's he. He's. No, no, no, no.

Yeah, fuck that. All right, listen. This is what you gotta hold onto, okay? The fact that you feel the way that you do when you're 22 years old. There is somebody out there your age that is like you.

And if it was easy to go out and find love, everybody would find it, all right? But the problem is, you know, you gotta go through a bunch of mistakes first. All right? So I don't know you, I don't know him, but this is not the person you're gonna settle down. Don't.

Don't fucking do this. Don't do it, all right? He's got way, way too much of a mental advantage on you at 35 and 22, and he could really fucking hurt you. I say you deal with the fact that you find guys your age are not mature and you're gonna run into somebody who is. You sound like you're really good looking.

You're into sports, right? You're getting these compliments when you go out. So you probably have, like, these fucking yolo douches hitting on you, which you need. You know what you need? You need a nerd.

I think you need a nerd. Go find some fucking kid that likes to read, you know? Cause he probably has an idea to build an app. Whatever these fucking kids are doing, that's what you want to do. You don't want to go fuck around with your 35 year old.

Creepy. Yeah, I really want to get married and have kids. Oh, do you? Do you? That's why you're hitting on a 22 year old, you piece of shit.

Yeah, fuck that guy. Fuck that guy. All right. I would. Yeah.

Stick with people your own, roughly your own age, all right? And that's coming from an older creep like me, so, you know, it's good advice. All right? That's the podcast for this week. I hope you guys enjoyed it.

And congratulations to Pittsburgh Penguins fans. And you know what? Also to San Jose Shark fans. I've been there plenty of times, seen the Bruins losing finals to all those great Edmonton teams.

So my condolences. But, hey, you actually got to the finals, and you got a great team to build on. And that's it. One down, one to go. The NBA ends, and I guess I'll start watching a little bit of baseball.

But I think I'm going to stick with the Formula One racing until I get to football season. We'll see what's up. All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves, and I'll check in on you on Thursday. I'm from the murder capital.

Speaker B
Will we. Murder for capital. See, you see deceit. So you make it change your attitude, buddy. Ask what happened.

This is holy war. I wet y'all all with the holy water sprayed from the heck. Law, cock, order, medic, all aesthetic shall cease to exist like a sabbatical, I throw a couple at you, you take six, spread love all of my dead thugs I pour out a little Louie to a head above and when I perish, the meek shall inherit the earth till that time is on and popping church like Don Bishop the fifth of palm cock evil, lift up your soul look, if you the holy ghost, please, I leave you with somebody's could lead you with something like evil couldn't evil, I let you see where that bright light leads you the more you talk, the more you earn, the more you gonna need memorial services. The blackout won't. Second verse is like devil's pie chasing berserk for us man, I gotta get my soul right I gotta get these devils out my life these guys gonna make a nigga ride they won't be happy till somebody.

God, man, I gotta get my soul. Right.

Every time it seems it's all right somebody want. They sold the bridegroom's a hole in the nine mill of the barbs killer asking them why as my eyes fill up these days I can't wake up with a dry pillar gone but not forgotten homes, I still feel you so curse the day that birth the bastard who caused your church mask reverse the crash, reverse the blast and reverse the car reverse the. And there you are, Barbara love. Lord forgive him. We all have sinned.

Bob's a good dude. Please let him in. And if you feel in my heart that I long for revenge, please blame it on the son of the morning. Thanks again.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-13-24

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1: Introduction and Event Background

2: The Performance

3: Jay Z's Surprise Performance

4: Reflections Post-Event

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Companies

Books

Guest Name(s):

Content Warnings:

Transcript