Matinee Monday: Solarbabies LIVE! (w/ John Mulaney)

Unidentified Speaker
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Have you had a Kit Kat lately? Well, have a break. Have a kitkat. Hello, people of earth. TalJohn Shearer here to tell you that.

How did this get made? Is shipping up to Boston. That's right. On Sunday, June 16, Father's Day, we'll be doing a live show in Boston at the Wilbur Theater. Tickets are on sale now.

Just go to hdtgm.com to buy tickets and find out the movie that we'll be covering. That's hdtgm.com for all your Boston live show questions. I believe that children, roller hockey players, are our future. Teach them well and they will lead the way. This is what Whitney Houston would have said if she saw this movie.

Unidentified Speaker
We saw solar babies, so you know what that means.

Jason Mantzoukas
Screaming how did Schwarzenegger grow baby in his belly? Rock a rhinestone vest while whipping Justin to Kelly? Or maybe see a burlesque show, wouldn't it? Crow and take a bubble speed to hit and cruise control j man, Big Paul in the beautiful June gonna take. You from the goob all the way.

To the road and street fighter help to blow off steam just to suck. A punch to odd life of Timothy. Green shock NATO the bird demic how we staying alive they call it in the badass and he's on the line cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as ice cause of bad Jim Barney looking kind. Nice calling. Hello, people.

Jason is doing. And welcome to alive. How did this get made?

Unidentified Speaker
We are live here at Largo in Los Angeles, our home for our live shows. We are very excited to be here tonight to talk about a movie. A movie that predicts our future. A movie that talks about the importance of water and robots and roller skating. All these things will be covered.

But first, let me introduce my co host. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas.

Jason Mantzoukas
What's up, jerks?

Unidentified Speaker
How are you, Jason? I'm terrific, Paul. I am just great having seen solar babies. I wish. And for the audience at home, just pretend that Jason Roller skated out here.

I wish we could have done that. Across a desert to get here. Please also welcome to the stage June Diane Rayfield.

Hello, June. Did roller skate across stage? It did. How are you, June? I'm doing well.

June Diane Raphael
How are you, Paul? Very good. Nice to see you here. Great to see you. Great to see you as well.

Unidentified Speaker
Did you enjoy solar babies? I love solar babies. We have a Girton Hutton here. You have heard about the sexual chemistry, the sexual tension you just experienced in here. Everyone in this room is turned on.

I'm sorry, Flanny, but all the seats are gonna be wet. Everyone just came in their own special way. Squish, squish.

We have a very special guest. This guy is fantastically funny. You know him from his amazing stand up, his Netflix specials, and he just has just toured the country with the show. Oh, hello. Please welcome John Mulaney.

John Mulaney
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I work so hard. I work so hard.

Thank you. Well, we are all here tonight to discuss solar babies. A Mel Brooks film. This is a Mel Brooks produced film. I mean, it's a Brooks film.

Unidentified Speaker
Well, Brooks film. Right? So. Yes, so it's his production company. Yeah.

John Mulaney
I don't know why I'm letting him off the hook. It's his production company. But Mel Brooks also did. I'm sure Melody, it's a Brooks film. I know he did Elephant man and solar babies.

Unidentified Speaker
Yeah. So who knows? So I'm saying there's a 70% chance that this could be a comedy that he just really disguised really subtly. That would be amazing. Well, okay, where do we begin.

Jason Mantzoukas
Where do we. I mean, we begin in the year 41. Like, that's where we're at. And are we assuming that 41 started, like, after 1986, like, the apocalypse? Cause Charles durning remembers the earth.

Oh, yeah. Oh, he does, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's a thousand years in the future from 1986.

Unidentified Speaker
Oh, but. So it's a thousand years ahead, but they only call it 41. Right. Like, something happened where they were like, hey, let's do zero. Oh, my God.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. So I only thought it would be. Clearly something happened, but zero happened, like 950, 59. So we can assume we have a good 900 x years ahead of us. Then shit will go bad, and then we'll get to 47.

At that point, we're all gonna be like, roller skates. Yeah, we're not gonna. We're gonna be like. That is how we need to travel. Especially through the sandy deserts of this earth.

Unidentified Speaker
Nothing works better on sand than rollers. Than rollers. Yep. That's how we're traveling. That's what we've all decided.

Jason Mantzoukas
Also, it's part of some sort of quidditch like game, so this is what's up. Also, the game might disappear and don't ask any questions about it. Also, at some point, we might all stop playing the game, even though it seems like it's gonna be about the game. Yeah, it felt like this movie. And I'll say, just because the title of the film is solar babies, the name of the hockey team, that it would be about the hockey team.

Oh, yeah. And some sort of, you know, post apocalyptic rivalry. Oh. Nothing has ever been more set up of a ragtag team versus blondes. Yup.

John Mulaney
And versus arians. It was a textbook Arians versus ragtag. And then. No payoff to it. None.

June Diane Raphael
Not only that, but I did expect, in the final sequence, for some amazing rollerblading to happen that would justify the setup. I expected that they would really save the day by blade. And, I mean, they did blade into that final third act sequence. They bladed there. THey.

Jason Mantzoukas
Everywhere. Everywhere. They were rolling, but at that point, they had bladed everywhere, so there was nothing. The blading is mediocre. I mean, they're not, like, great roller.

June Diane Raphael
Skating, but I have to say, I think their rollerblading is fine. I think their blades are so rudimentary. The roller blades they're blading on are. I MEAN, a lot of them are. Straight up roller skates.

They're roller skates. They're not roller skates. They're, like, with a front heel. They're straight up, Steve Gutenberg at the beginning of can't stop the music. Roller skating.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yes. So I don't know how much more they could do with. Here's why I think the roller skating is bad. Because at one point when they're roller skating towards a door, at the end, they don't stop. They just slam into the wall.

Unidentified Speaker
Like, they just hit it hard. And they're like, well, the wall will stop. They never take the skates off. Like, they never really take the skates off. They.

Jason Mantzoukas
Peter. Peter does once, and he walks with the. Don't you dare use that name. As if anyone here knows who that is. I mean, I'll talk about Michael DeLuise all day long.

Unidentified Speaker
Guys, I was thinking that you were all fans of 21 Jump street and Peter DeLuise killing it on that show. No. Yeah. So it is kind of. I mean, the roller skates don't even seem to play that much of an.

Jason Mantzoukas
Important part, you know, while I know, because there are periods of the movie where they are with people who are not on roller skates who seem to be keeping up just fine, like, they don't seem to be giving them that much of an advantage. Right. At a certain point, Adrian Pazdar is just running in boots right along with the group. The majority of the third act is a chase where the roller skates provide no advantage. Right.

Because they're being chased by, like, tanks and motorcycles and are caught every single time. And this is a movie also. And I went back to, is it, though?

Unidentified Speaker
They made it. But, yeah, it doesn't. Like, I kept on going, what is it about? And it's a movie that where when you first watch the voiceover at the top, it makes no sense because you have no context. But then at the end, you're like, oh, okay.

That's what this movie was about. Like, they do set it up. Wait, what was it? Well, yeah, I'm genuinely like, I don't know. Well, I don't know why so much of what happened, happened.

Jason Mantzoukas
If all the method, if the method to the madness was just like, oh, we broke the dam. We'll have water now. Like, again, like, this is. Yeah. Also.

John Mulaney
Oh, you had water? Yeah. Oh, I thought the earth had no water. No. Oh, it was behind a dam.

June Diane Raphael
It's behind a dam. They never got into that. It wasn't like it was being. And then there's the secret society of the oasis who are like, we don't want anybody to know we're here. Very confusing because, again, it looked like it was gonna be a movie about roller skating.

Jason Mantzoukas
I thought it was gonna be a. Thought it was gonna be a whole movie about orphanage 43 and the young. And the young thugs in the solar babies. Roller. What did they call it?

Unidentified Speaker
Oh, skateball. Skateball. Skateball. That's the shit that bugs the fuck out of me in the. Whoa, Paul.

Jason Mantzoukas
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Damn it. Whoa, Paul.

Unidentified Speaker
No, it's like when they. Cause they keep certain things. They keep certain things like this movie is 1041 years in the future from whenever that was. But yet. No, it's a thousand years in the future.

Oh, a thousand years in the future. At a certain point. Come on, we've already gone over this. All right. Yes.

Jason Mantzoukas
I want to get to. We gotta. We have to decide what it is, though. It's a thousand years in the future, right? Here's the thing.

John Mulaney
I'm going off the trailer a 1000 years in the future in the year 47. What? They have stuff like books that were clearly from the time, like from the eighties, but then they're like, skateball. But wouldn't it just be hockey? They wouldn't have forgotten about hockey.

Also, I thought of that as a lacrosse stick, too. That's definitely a lacrosse stick. Yeah, it's a lacrosse stick sewn to a hockey stick. Yeah. Actually, if I came out of anything, if something really resonated with me in this movie, when I went, when I was in high school, the lacrosse guys were like so cool and so hot.

June Diane Raphael
And I watched this movie and I was. I know he is, but I watched no word. You saw our sexual tension. And I was like, wow, lacrosse is a dumb sport. Yeah, it's a stupid sport.

It's so dumb. All you need to reveal it is to put them all on roller skate. And it became so clear. Yeah, yeah. So, you know, for me, it was worth it.

It really. Those guys didn't use that. Yeah. It also made the very distinct connection between lacrosse and Nazis and that, like, that there was definitely like nazi lacrosse teams. You know, like, I felt like those guys.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, pretty. It was like a real nazi team. And what was that team called? The Scorpions. And of course, they were playing against the solar babies.

Unidentified Speaker
Oh. And they always lose. They're like the Washington generals of orphanage 43. Well, not the solar babies. They always win.

Jason Mantzoukas
That's what I mean. Yeah. No, no, I'm talking about the Scorpion. I want to play the opening, the voiceover. Because now that we've seen the movie.

John Mulaney
By the way, I think we should say we've seen these movies because I think it is five movies in one movie. Yeah, it's a. It's a ragtag versus rich kids movie. It's a flight of the navigator esque finding a magical thing. It's a post apocalyptic, Mad Max type movie.

And then it's your garden variety bully almost raping a girl movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's got every one of those elements. I think a guy went into Brooks films and pitched five movies, and Mel was like, great.

Unidentified Speaker
Go. We can only afford one. Combine them. Yeah, put them all in. So this is the opening voiceover.

It made me go, oh, all right. I guess they did set it up. But that also feels like everyone left the movie going, what? And then they're like, we'll put voice over the top. We'll get it here.

This is leap again. We live in the new time. The year is 41, and the protectorate controls all the water on earth, and therefore, all life. I am the warden of orphanage 43, one of the many orphanages that border the wasteland. Children are brought here at an early age to be indoctrinated to serve the system.

It hurts me to do what I do, but I, too, must serve the system. Sometimes in my dreams, I see the earth as it was before, green with flowing rivers and mighty oceans. Can it ever be like that again? There is a legend, a tale told by the chicken. Is that still sweat?

It speaks of a visitor that came from the heavens. The people called it Bodi. The legend says that it has come to earth to free the waters once again. Is this legend true? He's asking, who knows?

John Mulaney
And he answers, could anyone help with who knows? I'm sincerely asking, is this legend true? Fill out your comment cards. That's a shitload of exposition at the top. Also, I like five premises I've never heard in opening vo.

I don't like my job. Yeah. And also, he is not a main character in this story at all. Yeah. So, ostensibly, these are just a bunch of setup lines from a character who we almost never see, who maybe is.

Unidentified Speaker
An arguably three scene. Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. And does almost nothing in any of them. Yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
He is not. He's not important to the story. No. Like, it is the story of the kids. Why don't you just have, like, Lucas Haas, who arguably.

Unidentified Speaker
I mean, although at the end, I don't know. Lucas has so good already in the pussy posse at this point. I think he's already just crushing. Yeah. Already a private booth at Sushi Samba, wrangling women, Leo throwing around, growing Payne's money.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Lucas has got his solar babies. Check. Yeah, they're loaded.

Unidentified Speaker
Sashimi. I can have a dream. Kevin Connelly's still in altar boy. He also has a problem at the Topedes. Has electric ears, which are just basically like, beats by Dre headphones he's wearing.

And then his reveal is, I don't need those headphones anymore. I can because of Bodi, by the way. You don't. I didn't know that his headphones were electric ears till after he said, I can hear now. Then Jamie Gertz said, where are your electric ears?

John Mulaney
Yeah, I thought they were headphones. That's what I thought. Because he was on roller skates, and. They were basically just like, radio shack headphones. They were not.

Also, when he switches on the power to the skate park in the beginning, there is an enormous electric shock right next to that child actor. There's no. That's not a stunt double. He pulls this lever, and I'm sure it was safe, but it, like, blows up right near his head. I don't think it was safe.

Unidentified Speaker
I think we're in the era of the Twilight Zone movie where I got. Yeah, fuck it. Put the key. We got this. We got a handle.

Whatever. That too soon for you guys? Too soon. I wasn't making fun of it. I'm just saying there was a recklessness, too.

Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, no, Paul, that's too far.

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Unidentified Speaker
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Unidentified Speaker
But they double down. Not only are you watching roller hockey, you're also watching another guy who's also on roller skates and has a pet owl. Yeah. And then the guy, the native american guy, is our. Well, I don't really know where we are in the world to call them Native Americans.

John Mulaney
We're in the protectorate, which is also the system. Right. Yes. Oh, okay. That was the first thing Charles Stern.

Jason Mantzoukas
And, of course, made totally sense for me. Right. I got. I got that. Yeah.

Unidentified Speaker
They were called. They were like. I think that they were like. It felt like they were the native american people. Right.

That they. Cause they. Are we in America? Are we in America? Wow.

Jason Mantzoukas
Now it's really spoilers. This movie takes place on the continent of Asia. Whoa. With local asian Charles Derning. Yeah.

You know that in a thousand goddamn kids. Although I like that. It's like, I thought they were in trouble for playing skate lacrosse, and then he's like, why didn't you just play on the court we have here? And you're like, you have a court here? Yeah.

And they train every day. They have, like, roller skate training. Like, his point was like, we have one here. Yeah. It did seem like a large facility.

June Diane Raphael
I don't know why they didn't just play there. They, like, playing out of. Out of bounds. They wanted to be in for no rules. But however, the solar babies didn't want to play no rules.

John Mulaney
It was the goddamn scorpions. Yeah, scorpions play dirty, and they are, because they're the Nazis. And solar babies win every time. You know, solar babies win. I don't know if that.

But I don't know if that's true. That's a protectorate. Well, I mean, he does say, this is when they do explain the titular solar babies, which is right here. When Charles Derning says, here we go. Just take a listen.

Unidentified Speaker
Odd name for a skateboard team. What you think? Solar babies? Soft, no menace. Why do you suppose they chose it?

They don't seem to need anything more menacing, do they? They always seem to win.

Not really that insulting to get that. And here's the thing I wanted to talk about. Ah, so mean. He puts his wand over flowers and kills them. But that wand never comes back into play.

Jason Mantzoukas
No, no, that. It's a heat wand. Never, never gets used again. Great sound design, though. Yeah.

Yeah.

John Mulaney
Charles Derning, sweating more than most in this post apocalyptic no water land because. He came from Earth. So, like, I feel like it's hotter. He came from the hotter planet. What?

Jason Mantzoukas
I'm also trying to. When you played the. The talking of the exposition at the beginning, I realized he's remembering 1000 years in the past. No, sorry, sorry. He's remembering 41 years or 42 years ago, when we were in two.

John Mulaney
When we were in 2986. I got it. Right. Okay, so he does remember rain and water. Well, he can have dreams about it.

I've dreamed about things I've never done, but. So, I guess. Truly. But the kids have no recollection. They couldn't.

Jefferson's Bourbon Company
No. They don't even remember how they got there. Yeah, they read, like, Beverly Cleary fiction or something and that. Let's talk about that scene when these kids read the book about rain and then the orb bodi produces rain. Their reaction to it is so bizarre, because you would think their first reaction would be like, let's drink this.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, because anything that can capture this. And capture it, let's not let it fall on the ground. Let's get it. Let's get containers ASAP. Take your hats off.

June Diane Raphael
Take your shirts off. Let's capture this water. This is the most precious thing that it has, is existing in the year 41. Nope. We're gonna kick it.

Jason Mantzoukas
Let's dance.

Unidentified Speaker
Number from step up three. Yeah. And nobody seems surprised. I mean, there's a surprise that it's raining, but it seems like they do know that rain is possible. They've heard of it?

June Diane Raphael
Yeah, but there's no. Nobody is surprised that it's raining inside. No. Yeah, right. Well, James le Gros.

Jason Mantzoukas
James Le Gros, like, even at the youngest of James Le Gros age, still can't not be just an absolute dick in everything. Who I love. I love him. He is like the dick in everything is like, fuck you guys. And in this one, he's the one who's like, well, they must be drugging us.

This is a mass hallucination, which also makes. No. Then why would. They would be wet, too. Yeah, yeah.

And also, I love that idea. They just want a shower. They're like, oh, good, we get the shower. It's like, why do you have expectations of showers when the protector controls all the water and you live in a waterless society, they come back from their slave labor and they're like, God, I need a shower. No, it's like, you show people are like, to how you smell.

It should be phased. Well, I want to talk about the solar babies and their bad ideas, because then they decide, oh, we got this cool orb. Let's go, like, break it. Let's go play skateball with it. Yeah, yeah.

Well, they think that it wants to play, which is pretty cool personality. Yeah. It's very coquettish of. Yeah, the ball. I'll be honest, the ball is a flirt.

It, like, flits around between all the solar babies, giving everybody its attention. Make no mistake, if you have not seen this movie, the ball does not talk. It is only vocalizes monologues to the ball. Oh, yeah. Hamlet style monologues.

Unidentified Speaker
And they tell you it's like when Han Solo talks to Chewbacca. You get what the ball is saying, but the ball doesn't even. But you know how it feels. Yeah, yeah. And that's a testament to good acting.

John Mulaney
Yeah. And also such good acting to convey to the audience that, hey, maybe we'll win the skateball tournament that this is definitely heading towards with this ball. That's magical. But no, nope. But that's like a real bonding moment for them, is when they let the ball out and they play with it because that's what's necessary.

Yeah. Do something that I would argue also, like, seems slightly racist when it gets to the one kid. Slightly rabbit knowing the laws. Yeah. Rabbit is the name.

Jason Mantzoukas
Rabbit. Rabbit. Yeah. Rabbit's like, I don't want to play skateboard with it. I'm going to just to start breakdancing.

With the ball and, like, breakdancing beatboxing and doing, like, basketball moves with it. Like, all three at once? Well, if we're about to watch it, I don't want to. He also calls it Bodhi. And they correct him, and he goes, you talk how you talk, and I'll talk how I'll talk.

Jefferson's Bourbon Company
Let's let's just. And you're like, hey, man, did you just accidentally say, bodhi, it's okay. Yeah, he just, like, doubles down. No, I say I sounds. Aziz.

Unidentified Speaker
By the way, that kid never wears a shirt either. There's shirt. Like, two of them are always shirtless. This whole movie feels like the buildup of a gay porn. That's what's gonna happen.

June Diane Raphael
The interesting thing about the movie, and I was trying to figure this out, how long. How old do they have to be to stay or to walk out of the orphanage? Or do they ever. Because, well, I think they joined the military protectorate, right? I think they join e cops.

John Mulaney
I think that's what you're training to do. So it the scorpion who gets promoted. I guess the rapist. The bad. Like.

Yeah, the blonde. Yeah, yeah. The blond rapist. Does he. So that.

June Diane Raphael
That's just his trajectory. Everyone's trajectory. It's like, that's why rubber suit nazi trench coat is like, oh, you're like. You're the guy for me. We're gonna put you on the fast track.

Unidentified Speaker
We're gonna get you into one of those motorcycles with two sidecars. It did seem like, slow it down. And laser guns that don't kill, that just, like, stun people, it seems like. Yeah, there's no lethal force, really, except. For the fucking solar babies.

The solar babies kill. Oh, a guard and our psych. No, watch this montage. End that robot at the end here. Well, no, no, the robot.

Jason Mantzoukas
The robot's got it coming. Take a listen to all the solar baby kills. We'll talk about this scene that everyone's looking at right now. But the solar babies kill with reckless abandon and are psyched about it. Take a.

Unidentified Speaker
This is a montage of their greatest kills.

Kill.

They cheer. Skate, skate, skate. Forgot your boot. They tied two people to a bar.

Yeah, take it easy. Like, that is a death sentence. Yes. Come on, let's get them. Say hello to sparky.

John Mulaney
Hello.

Jason Mantzoukas
Let's move.

Oh, this is watching.

John Mulaney
I better go. That is how a very powerful fetish gets created. Yeah, they kill. They are so. Babies are straight up murderers.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Like, the most efficient murderers. Like, none of them are ever even hurt, really. And they go up against the army, like. Like, the other team.

Like, all the members of the. Like, everybody. They are they can't get touched once and no remorse. There's never a moment, we're like, we just killed those two guards. Like, yeah, or like, they're never like, don't let the kids see us murdering people.

The kids like, get him. What is he, what does he say to the guys they send into the desert? Like, have a good time or whatever. Have a nice trip and see you later, dummies. You're gonna be dead in days, you idiot.

June Diane Raphael
My other really big complaint about the solar babies is that aside from the nerd solar baby, there's no difference between any of them. I don't know what makes one solar baby him or what makes one solar baby her. They're just all, yeah, there's no personalities. The only thing I could kind of draw was that Peter DeLuise, you know. Peter, is he the one that I also think is Jason Patrick, he's the.

One that looks better. Jason Pat. Yeah, there's two guys. There's two guys that I never knew who they were. Yeah, yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
They could tell because they called him Jason. Yes. So they, I think they were like, they were like, he's rabbit. Was like, look, I'm calling him Jason, but he has a character name. You call him his character name, I'm gonna call him Jason Patrick.

Unidentified Speaker
Well, and again, not to play so many clips back to back, but I think this is worthy that I think because the characters had no delineation, they just say their names a million times. And this is a little name montage here. Jason, Metron, rabbit, Tara and Tom. Where's Daniel? Where's Daniel Rabbit?

John Mulaney
Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason. Hey, Jason.

Come on, Jason. Jason, Daniel, Metron. Metron. It's Jace. Metron, rabbit.

Unidentified Speaker
Metron. Jason. Daniel. Scorn. Daniel.

Jason Mantzoukas
Rabbit. Rodney.

Daniel. All right, Daniel. Tom. Rabbit. Rabbit.

Unidentified Speaker
Tara. Jason. Daniel, metron. Tara. Daniel.

Jason Mantzoukas
Daniel. Daniel. Daniel.

June Diane Raphael
Where's Tara? Tara. Oh, Tara. Jason Tara. Oh, Tara.

Jason Mantzoukas
Tara. This is Jason, Jason, and rabbit. This is Matron tug. Oh, that's Daniel. Jason, Daniel.

June Diane Raphael
Daniel. Tara. Daniel. Come on, Tara. Come on, Tara.

Jason Mantzoukas
Where's Daniel? Daniel. Daniel. Be careful. Daniel.

Jason. Come on, Jason. Come on, Jason. Hey, Jason. Jason, Jason, Daniel.

Unidentified Speaker
Follow Daniel. Tara.

Jerry. Oh, that's great. You can watch that on movie bitches on YouTube. That is. Yeah, that's a lot of names, but yeah, they aren't, there's no personalities.

Jamie Gertz is the girl. Ah, love her. Great. I love Jamie Gertz unabashedly. Like one of the great, my favorite, like, eighties teen movie stars, like, the best.

June Diane Raphael
And she's great. But can we talk about what happened to her? Bang. Yeah. Yeah, we can.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, we can. She took off. After she took off that hat. She took off that hat and had, like, eighties bangs. Okay, that's the craziest thing about that moment, because I know she's in that well.

June Diane Raphael
I don't really know why. They all got in garbage bags and witch's hats. They all put on disguises. They all put on disguises. At which point, everybody was like, oh, they've disappeared.

Jason Mantzoukas
We can't find them. Yeah, we can't find the group of five kids that travel on roller skates. And then, inexplicably, they just took their disguises off. And people were like, there they are. Okay, but that's a comedic moment, to take off your witch's hat, or it was like a half hat.

June Diane Raphael
I don't know what the fuck it was. It was like a garbage bag that was frayed. Okay? To take it off and then to have your bangs straight up. Straight up.

I mean, it was a wall of bangs. It was arguably. It was just, like, something about Mary. I mean, it was that. It was insane.

Jason Mantzoukas
But then they played it out for, like, three scenes. It was crazy that she kept it beyond when she just took off the hat. And I wonder if they shot it the first thing, and her bangs were just like that, and they realized they'd done it, and we're like, ah, well, I guess continuity guys. We wouldn't have done anything. You know, no one runs their hands through their hair, so we should just keep.

Yeah, we have to. Okay, so she's gonna have to have that for two more scenes. And then it became very popular hairstyle.

Jamie Gertz. Jamie Gertz. I once. I worked at a blockbuster video growing up, and I ran a fake autograph signing for a girl that I thought was cute. That was Jamie Gertz.

Unidentified Speaker
I was like, why don't you pretend like you're Jamie Gertz, and we'll run an autograph session here at Blockbuster. And then people got fake Jamie Gertz autographs. Okay. I have to say, the tales of your time up blockbuster, it was like, that is fraud. The animals were out of the zoo.

June Diane Raphael
There was. There. Were there any managers at this blockbuster? It was a really cool manager. I also never remember an autograph signing at a blockbuster.

John Mulaney
Like, that would be a very weird event. The one I went to had no staff. You would just, like, eventually walk out with the movie. My dad. I remember my dad brought me to an autograph signing at a block for a honey, I shrunk the kids.

June Diane Raphael
Whoa. Who was there? The three kids. Not Rick Moranis, at which point you. Were like, someday I will work here.

Jason Mantzoukas
What? Someday I will do this. But fraud. Are you sure? By the way?

Are you sure it was the. Yeah. By the way, I actually have the thing. It's like. It looks like a placemat of the three kids faces on it.

Unidentified Speaker
It's like, honey, I shrunk the kids and I have all three of their autographs on it. I'll fucking sell it to anybody. Don't sell your childhood, Paul. If you got them, if you got the money. Money talks, bullshit walks.

I got a honey I should get. It's really weird that this show has, like, devolved to you just trying to sell personal belongings. Like, it's. I've also got a lawnmower that I'm not using anymore. Just like a swap shop.

I got dvd player. Good one. Not Blu ray, HD dvd. It's really good. It was the better smart dvd.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. So then that's when this movie. I mean, why? Okay, here's my biggest problem with this movie. I don't know how long this movie takes place as a period over.

For example, Adrian Pazdar, who is the guy who has the owl who steals Bodi and runs, by the way, he. Is a 45 year old man. Yes, yes. Not yet married to Natalie Mains, but yes, a full grown adult man living in the orphanage has an owl and birds talk to him. He takes.

Steals the magical orb. Wait, birds talk to him? They come to him? Yeah, he draws a thing in the sand. Birds land.

John Mulaney
Kids gather around, very impressed, but they're much more impressed by a guy just kicking the sand. Like, he's like, charmed the birds into landing right on his sand, drawing of birds. But then this other guy's like, fuck you. And they're like, yeah, yeah, that was cool how the birds landed, but that was legitimately awesome when you kicked the sand.

He's also so clearly has magical powers. Why would you ever piss off a guy like that? But then we also, I believe, are meant to like him. He steals Bodi, he goes into the desert, they chase after him, blah, blah, blah. At a certain point, though, he is just working.

Jason Mantzoukas
Entire town. He, like, has a job in the tire town. Entire town. Entire town. Am I crazy?

John Mulaney
Or are they like, where are we? And then they look up and they go, tire town? Yeah, right. At which point, like, the whistle blows, he comes out of the mine or whatever he's been doing their faces all over the place. Yeah, he gets put away.

Jason Mantzoukas
Their faces are all over the news. Like, these are wanted escapees from. It wasn't news. It seemed like, just like, it was such a bizarre way to present. Like it was.

But how long does he wait? How long has he had a job? And then the same thing happens. They lose track. The entire town blows up.

They think that Gertz is dead. They skate around the desert for a while, and finally they come across her in the middle of the desert. She's like, I live here. Yeah. Like, this is my father.

Unidentified Speaker
I'm here. This is my father. We're in an oasis now. Oh, we're the royal family from spaceballs. Didn't you know that?

Jason Mantzoukas
Wait, how long is this? That's my problem with the movie, is that it's like there's, like, too many messiahs. Like, Bodi is some sort of messiah. Obviously, he's been, you know, Charles Durning asks, is this true? Have you heard about this?

Unidentified Speaker
I don't know. Then Lucas Haas, I'm sort of like, okay, he's the one that found Bodi, so he's kind of the messenger of Bodi. But then owl boy is clearly the Messiah. But then Jamie Gertz is, like, also the Messiah. But then at the end, Bodi breaks up, and then they all become messiahs.

Cause they're like, now we have him. You know what's amazing? You know who's not the messiah? Jason Patrick. Yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
Who is arguably the leader of their group. He is, like, the hero of the moon. He seems to have no powers or no distinct skills. He's like. And also he's a for real zero.

Unidentified Speaker
Yeah. What's really strange is that he doesn't join the eco warrior movement. No. They're like, we're out of it. I think we're primed for that at some point that he's going, and I guess maybe he does become an eco warrior in his own way.

Jason Mantzoukas
How? Well, he does end up fighting for water and for the resources of the people. I think he's just a hothead, though. I think he'd fight for whatever, you know, I think. Yeah, I think he just wants to fight.

John Mulaney
Yeah. See, my question. See, here's the thing. Outside of, I'm confused about how this government works, because entire town. What are they mining for exactly?

Unidentified Speaker
Tires. Tires? Yeah. Okay. We gotta dig up all the old tires.

Jason Mantzoukas
I think it is a tire based economy. I'm not sure. Okay. But I don't think they might be there. Tires.

June Diane Raphael
But it doesn't seem like anyone's really using. They're not putting them on cars. No. Well, maybe tire town is suffering due to the roller skate boom.

John Mulaney
No one's gonna go around on roller skates. Maybe that's the stain town, though. I mean, that's why they're making motorcycles with two side cars, is. They're like, how many fucking tires can we get on a vehicle? Maybe they're taking old car tires and turning them into tiny roller skating tires.

June Diane Raphael
And then just roller skating around that town. Oh, yeah. Up and down roller skates. It seems to be, like, how they travel, but it's like starlight expansion. Babies seem to travel like that, but everybody else.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Oh, no, no. Yeah. It's not a mad Max thing where I don't think there's a fuel shortage. No, no.

John Mulaney
Yeah. It seems like there's plenty of fuel, right? Oh, yeah. And they've got desert cars that they drive. Like the nazi party.

Jason Mantzoukas
They drive around in desert cars. They're not. But I guess my question is, do you think. Do you think everyone else is coming to tire town for their tires, purchasing them there and then leaving? No.

It seems to me tire town. Tire town is in the middle of nowhere. Right. I think they manufacture tire. Or they dig up tires from the ground.

John Mulaney
They mine for tires, and then they send them to whatever the capital of the protectorate, aka the system, is. So, like, they're like. Yeah, they're doing. Because a lot of the. And then.

June Diane Raphael
Wait, sorry, last question. So they send them. And I'm assuming they're paid for those tires? Not. Well, they appear to be paid in bottles of water.

Then they're paid in water. Is that how this whole thing is running? It is a water based tire, yeah. Cause wherever you go, you can promise people water if they catch the solar business that has currency everywhere. Yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
And the guys, the bounty hunters. Okay, I had a question about the bounty. Okay, go ahead. I wanna say, like. So, I think.

Unidentified Speaker
Are they digging for tires? Yeah. Yeah. Just go find more tires. Yes.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yes, they are. Is it that kind of thing where, like, oh, 500 years ago, this used to be a tire dump, and then this desert grew over it. So now we have to dig in to get to the tire. Sometimes I still dream of when tires were not underground. It's a metaphor.

John Mulaney
I don't like my job very much. When they were already made. I always wanted to be, like, a dentist's assistant, but I work at the orphanage. Today's podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. I love squarespace.

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Unidentified Speaker
You want to talk about the bounty hunters? I wanted to talk about the bounty hunters only because I was really wondering this. At a certain point, the bounty hunters, they catch the solar babies. Can we even talk about how they're interested, Home Depot style? They're hanging outside the nazi headquarters going, hey, hey, I'm an assassin.

Hey, you need an assassin? Come on. Hi. Me, I'm a good assassin. It's like driving into a Home Depot full of bounty hunters.

And the guy later on is like, the bad guy is like, go get me those two ragtag assassins out front. It would be like going to Home Depot. And Boba Fett was out front. Yeah. Remember the guys who delivered the barbecue?

John Mulaney
Get them. Also, what kind of nazis outsource their violence? Right? Like, nazis love violence. That guy killed a plant for fun.

Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, yeah. Why? Why wouldn't he? And he has a vent. He has a personal vendetta against the solar be.

John Mulaney
Almost everyone does. Though there is a point where it's like everyone in the protectorate is looking for the solar. Here's the thing. Here's what. Okay, here's the argue.

Unidentified Speaker
They are the easiest to find. They are so trackable. You know why? Because they're roller skating through the fucking desert. They're leaving a trail.

Jason Mantzoukas
They're making no effort to conceal their tracks from the orphanage to wherever they are now. And there is a straight line that you can follow. Yes. You ever see, like, a child walk? That's what this movie is.

They don't. They don't have clean up behind themselves. You know when you see a child walking down the street alone and you're like, that's weird. Imagine if all children lived in one orphanage. Then we're not allowed to leave.

John Mulaney
It'd be super weird to see a kid roaming. Five parents. Oh, yeah. You never split up. Well, granted, most of them are adults.

Yes. Here's my thing about two of them. Are gay for pay porn actors. One of them is four. And one shirt's off on this thing.

Unidentified Speaker
Shirts off. And one of them is one of Dom DeLuise's sons. Not this one is he actually of the deluises. Yeah. That's why he probably of the laughing till horse deluises boy.

John Mulaney
Who's the mother that that boy turned out like that. Who's the mother, I ask? I'm not sure. Brother to Michael DeLuise, who played Luke's sister's wife on Gilmore. Husband on Gilmore Girls.

Jason Mantzoukas
Also, Kelly Bishop in this movie, Emily Gilmore in, like, one scene. Gilmore girls not. Yeah. Nerds. Don't think I'm not gonna notice Gilmore girls connections in this shit.

John Mulaney
I did one. I looked it up. Which deluise? I was like, is that the Gilmore girls deLuise? No, it is not.

If I ever have a daughter and she gets married, my toast at the wedding is gonna be Jamie Gertz's father's speech. And I'm gonna enter that way in that outfit with a beard. And I'll go. Long ago, there was a great iceberg.

June Diane Raphael
There was something to the introduction of him as her father felt wrong to me. It felt like they felt like they were dating. Yeah, there was something. He was touching her fondly. It was also the most fertile about the environment.

And just like, everybody's got wet hair. And it was like. It's also the most introduction of any character. He, like is he perfectly enters. He also.

John Mulaney
I did five Bible pictures in the fifties. I know how to enter. It really is exactly what you're saying. He is introduced as a Christ like figure. He looks like Christ.

Jason Mantzoukas
Beard, robes, all of it. Oh, now. And he's in the cave. He's in the oasis. Yeah, he's in the painting.

John Mulaney
The one that looks like an anti violence mural in San Pedro or something. It's like this bright pastel. Look at this ancient cave painting. Like a Selena mural.

It was, like, done yesterday. Now. But why does he. That oasis that's sitting there. So he just.

June Diane Raphael
He's not willing to fight for everyone. No. Cause they. They lost too many people. I think they found their desert iceberg.

Unidentified Speaker
And they're fine with it. Their underground desert iceberg. And they're cool. I wanted to talk. Well, let's watch his dad walk in.

John Mulaney
Yeah, please. This is my favorite moment. Water. Running water. Water comes right out of the rock.

No, it comes from here. This is called ice. Thousands of years ago, a giant glacier was trapped under a lava flow. As it melts, it feeds the springs that make our oasis. That's.

Jason Mantzoukas
This is green tree. He's my father.

No. She nuzzles. Rabbit knows. Rabbit knows that's wrong. Rabbit's like.

Rabbit's like. Rabbit's like, say it however you want. That does not look good. Call it Bodhi or Bodi. That shit is wrong.

June Diane Raphael
Also, a second later, he brings out another child. It seems that he moved on. Yeah. Cause pretty quickly, my only assumption is that he has not seen Jamie Gertz for her entire life. She does not remember him.

John Mulaney
Yeah. Who's this fucking rich guy that lets his daughter live in orphanage where even the warden doesn't like his job? Oh. See, I figured she was, like, taken away and he couldn't get to her or something. So, are you not allowed to have your kids in the protectorate?

Maybe. That's what I'm guessing. By the way, he's a famous dude. She's got the tattoo on her hand. Wouldn't you like the electorate or protector?

Unidentified Speaker
And be like, hey, we should maybe do some. Here's one thing I'll ask. In addition to that, she has the tattoo on her hand of the oasis people. But she arrived at the orphanage as a baby, so someone tattooed a baby's hand. Somebody was like, oh, this eight month old needs a green tattoo, by the way.

Jason Mantzoukas
Very hard to do. It's the best time to do it. It's like piercing ears. You gotta do it early. Gotta do it.

Unidentified Speaker
Remember it. Yep. Also, it's like a hand stamp at Webster hall or something. That is the wackest tattoo. So, I don't know.

June Diane Raphael
I'm now thinking maybe children aren't allowed in the. Under the laws of the parents, I. Think all children are raised in these orphanages to fight for the protectorate. Sadness.

Jason Mantzoukas
It'S not cool. Before. Thank God the solar babies are here. To easily access every military facility on the globe, apparently without any suspicion. They literally walk into the main room at the end.

Unidentified Speaker
The doors is open. There is no security code to break nothing. They go through the front gate, go through two doors. First, they find Adrian Pazdar. He's like, hey, guys.

Jason Mantzoukas
And they're like, okay, we'll bust you out. Then the next door, they go into. Oh, here's the room where Bodi is. As if in this giant, like, damn factory crazy villain lair, there was basically three rooms and a ladder. Well, I guess, also, though, begs the question, you know, I know it's only been 41 years, but at a certain point, these children in the orphanage are gonna have to reproduce and create other children.

June Diane Raphael
Otherwise, the population can't continue. Well, blonde guy is trying to get laid hard. Yeah, he's trying real hard. He definitely. But they don't have any plan to, you know, keep the human race going.

Really? No. The problem is that the movie lacked a more. I just don't. Sexual energy for the teens.

John Mulaney
No, but it's like. I do agree. The protectorate has no plan. Like, again, owl boy, that is a magical person. You know?

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, they are very sexy. Hook him up to machines and exploit him. When they go to the desert town where. What's the name? Reservation.

Unidentified Speaker
The other. Yeah, what's name? Chikata. Chakati. Chikati.

Jason Mantzoukas
When they go to the Jakarta village in the middle of the desert, those people are horny as fuck. They are just, like, all grinding on each other all the time before they all get shot up. They're fucking in front of wax sculptures of the wolf man. I did have a question about that, though. They kill the blonde rapist, kills the owl, and then it dies.

Unidentified Speaker
He's like, yeah, killed it. And he's, like, whipping around by its feet. So it's like, then the solar babies come, and then the. The guy is hiding behind a good thing, watching them bury his owl. So did he stay there for that?

Jason Mantzoukas
Did he already leave? But he didn't bury his. Like, it seemed like a solar baby. Bury your own owl, man. Yeah, it seemed like the solar babies came a lot later.

Unidentified Speaker
He's like, you know what? What if I leave it out here and wait until someone comes? If they bury, then we're gonna be cool. Like, I mean, like, yeah, solar babies. It was a.

June Diane Raphael
It was a really nice funeral for that owl. Oh, yeah. And it almost seemed strange, like they. Wasn'T one of them. He wasn't one of them.

Jason Mantzoukas
He was like. But they were cool with him at the orphanage. They were cool with him. Adrian Pasta seemed like a very spiritual and sacred. Yeah.

June Diane Raphael
Ceremony for this owl. I was surprised. Let's go into the audience here. Let's see if the audience has any points of view that we may not have talked about here. You have a question, raise your hand.

Unidentified Speaker
And obviously, the title of this movie was odd, because it really. They are solar babies, but it wouldn't lead you to believe it's about the team. What does it mean? And also, it lacks menace. Yes.

Oh, tremendous. What would you say the title of this movie should be? And what is your question? Glowing balls of fury. I like that.

That's good. And what's your. What's your question? Okay, so this movie was released in theaters the same day as Star Trek four, in which a probe comes to Earth, releases a glowing orb, sucks up all the water, where Kirk has to go back. I'm sorry.

This is really nerdy. No, I know all this. I do, where Kirk has to go back in time, find some whales, blah, blah, blah, blah. What if this movie is the alternate reality or alternate ending of Kirk's mission failing, going back in time? I like this question.

Cause I love Star Trek. 99% of you are like, fast forward.

Great question. It is a great question. Did you guys have that? Thought it was more of a statement, but it was fascinating. We'll take it.

Jason Mantzoukas
I've not seen Star Trek four. What? Come on, it's so good. Is it? They have the COVID up spot.

The description I just heard sounded terrible. Yeah, you know what it, you know what it sounded like? It sounded like, have you seen solar babies?

So unless I am forced to, by the rationale of this prison sentence of this podcast, watch that movie. I suspect, I expect, based on your description, sir, that I will not. He's leaving. There's a lot more jokes in Star Trek for like, Scotty tries to use the computer and he picks up the mouse and he goes, hello, computer. And the guy's like, just use the mouse.

Unidentified Speaker
You know, it's great. It's a great movie. Classic. Scotty, do you have a question? Just an old scottish actor.

It was. He's a character, man. He was a lot more joke jokes in this one. That's a good sell for Star Trek. Finally they get to the humor.

Your title, your question? My title would probably be like San Goonies. I kind of got a Goonies vibe. From the movie, you know, I thought that too. San Goonies is great.

John Mulaney
Can we talk about, can we talk about that? This guy's wearing a hat that says the Goonies. Yeah, can we talk about that robot that was programmed to enjoy. Yeah. Terminex.

Unidentified Speaker
Terminex. The most bulky looking like robot. Yeah. It looked like the robot from lost in space. It looked like the robot from lost in space, basically.

June Diane Raphael
And by the way, there's no way you could program a robot to enjoy something, right? I mean, you could program a robot. To, you know, you're thinking like somebody from year 21. I guess I am. I'll tell you this much.

I didn't like that idea. I'm like, I don't want any of these robots having any emotions. I will just show you a picture of this robot. The robot is the most bo, I mean, yeah. And it's supposed to be so precise.

John Mulaney
They brag about how precise. It's basically a giant drill bit. It's a drill. It's a drill with a head. And it's like it could take an eye out of a bird.

Unidentified Speaker
It's like, I don't even know how that thing's fucking catching a bird. It could bury an owl.

So you. It plays center. It's skateball. Sir, your title and your question title. Is it's the desert, but there's roads everywhere like that.

Did you write down notes on an Ikea brochure? Yes, I did. Get a key. What? I can get a pen and paper, bro.

John Mulaney
Okay. That's an Ikea P's he purchased. Okay. Yes. Your question.

Did anybody notice that the cars that the Nazis were driving looked like a mixture of darkwing duck and Darth Vader? Hot wheels? Of course. Like, duh.

Unidentified Speaker
There is. That's you. Uh, idiot. We all got that. After, like, lucasfilm sold to Disney.

They made, like, matchbox cards. They literally have a Darth Vader matchbox, and it looks like a dragster. Like, Darth Vader is getting in, like a little speedster going around with his lightsaber. It's amazingly dumb. Yes.

Your name and your title and your question. My name is Bri Xanadu two Mad Max Fury road for kids. I just wanted to point out when. At the Chikani place, did you guys. Notice it was in front of the Xanadu hotel?

June Diane Raphael
There was a nod to Xanadu. You're right. It was in front of the Xanadu hotel, which means it did take place in what used to be America. Wait, really? I don't think the Xanadu hotel is the hotel from Xanadu.

Unidentified Speaker
Really?

Prove me wrong. I would love it if they were part of a shared universe. I would love it if those movies are from the same universe. What if Gene Kelly is the orb? Gene Kelly is Bodi.

Jason Mantzoukas
I love that. Who has a hand up here? Okay. Yes. Your name, your question.

Unidentified Speaker
Here we go. And your order. Your title. Matt. Starlight Express.

Fury road. Great. Yes, yes, yes. He's right. He's correct.

Jason Mantzoukas
Of all of them, I agree with that one, though, the most. Yeah. Mmm. Yes. How does Tara, when they're at the eco warrior place, have the plans or blueprints for the bunker?

John Mulaney
Say, what was it? How does she have. She comes to them when they're leaving the oasis with, like, painted on, like, an animal skin map to the bunker and to the inside of the bunker or whatever. Like, how does she have. That is his question.

Unidentified Speaker
Yeah. How did they get blue? Do they make blueprints on animals? Well, it's gonna be answered in solar babies. Rogue one.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's about how they stole that map so that they would understand the aqua facility that the protectorate operates at, the dam. Forrest Whitaker is supposed to be great in it. Yep. I would love a precursor movie that explained that storyline. All right, sir, your name, your title, and your.

Unidentified Speaker
Your question. Jake roller dummies. And I'm not convinced that Bodhi is good. Bodi. Bodi.

Sorry. You know what you do? You do. You. You do.

John Mulaney
You say it the way you want. Is it. I mean, like, it's. As soon as the solar babies find him, they start killing.

Unidentified Speaker
He makes it, like, rain or whatever. We're under the assumption that, like, there was some sort of nuclear fallout. So anything that's coming down is, like, acid rain. It's gonna be just poisoning everything it touches. You scientists.

Giving. I think it's giving. Hey. Hey. Creating.

Jason Mantzoukas
You know that? Do you know that for sure? You know it's acid rain. I'm just. I'm just raining inside.

Yeah. Show. If they showed this, if the movie went on for, like, another two months, there'd just be, like, wait. Keep the movie tumors. If the movie itself lasts.

Unidentified Speaker
Tumors creating more. I'm sure a lot would happen. Think what happened in an hour 34.

Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, my God. I'm 400 hours into this movie. It's good. It's really good. It's blowing my mind.

John Mulaney
Bow. Die is until hour 800. It gets great. It's still half the length of the first hobbit. This guy with his pro protectorate propaganda coming in here like, Bodi's very bad for the children.

They shouldn't have rain water. Bodi. Has anybody thought that Bodi and his reign might be. Might be nothing more than just left wing clap trap? Has anyone considered that scorpions are winners and what we need at this juncture?

Jason Mantzoukas
Classic Bodhi denier. Yeah. Wait a second. He calmed the boat. This makes total sense.

Unidentified Speaker
I saw a motorcycle with two side cars at the valet. This is his car. I saw a rubber coat at the coat check. Can we talk about the clothes really quickly? Yes, please.

John Mulaney
Literally everyone is wearing fucking rags and, like, banana peels. And then nazi guy has, like, one, like, the most custom made coat. And then Angelica Houston is wearing a white blouse in a dusty. In a world that is only dirty. Yeah.

Fake Angelica Huston Houston's wearing. And it's like they're the only two people still getting up every morning and being like, I'm gonna make an effort. She's also wearing a blouse that has, like, six inches of shoulder pads to the point where when I saw her body, I thought, oh, she's a. She's a heavy woman. And that's great.

Jason Mantzoukas
And that's great. That's great. And that's great. And that's great. No problems here.

John Mulaney
That's great for body image. Until her hands catch fire and a. Child watches her die. When they cut to that shot, I realized when you saw a full length shot of her, she's very thin. She just has.

Unidentified Speaker
Also great. Which is also great. Which is neither here. Fine. Fine with me.

June Diane Raphael
I don't care. Again, Bodhi. Bodi. You. Do you.

Yes. Just trying to get a sense of this body. No, because what she's wearing is like one of those eighties blousy kind of jumpsuit y things that is like. Like layered fabric. Like pleats on pleats.

Jason Mantzoukas
On pleats. It's all pleats, basically, which is, you know, like a real thing in a lot of these movies. That is like, there's probably 75ft of fabric on her body. Absolutely. And she conservatively weighs 100 pounds.

Unidentified Speaker
I do want to talk about what this guy brought up about the end. Because the dam breaks the next scene. There's so many people must die. Yeah. So many people must die because they live where the water was and isn't anymore.

Yes. All of it comes through. Kills hundreds of people.

A thunderstorm starts as well because of damn breaking. I think because of Bodi. But why couldn't he have just done that any time? Why? Yeah, I agree with that.

Jason Mantzoukas
Because Bodi. Because bodice seems to, like, spend a lot of time hanging around in people's backpacks and getting played with, like, a ball instead of doing what he's there to do. Well, that's the default, which is bring back, which is reverse climate change, which is what we are doing to this world, which is why we're here talking about. Look it up, look it up. We're about to do all of Al Gore's slideshow right now.

June Diane Raphael
Listen, the thing about bodies is that he, I think, think responds to someone really asking him to do something. Right. Which is why the ending was a little confusing. Cause it didn't seem as though there was some energy with that headed his way, asking him to. It's a lot of confusing stuff because I also feel like they're only protecting Bodi.

Unidentified Speaker
And then at one point, when Lucas Haas drops it, Jason Patrick's like, daniel, no, like, no. Yeah, pick it up. It's right there on the. Sacrifice yourself for Bodi should be everybody's mo. Bodi is the most important.

Jason Mantzoukas
Bodi is in this movie, Harry Potter. Bodi is the one. Bodi is the lead character in the movie. But he felt like he dropped it at his feet, and it was like, we're done. We're gonna run.

Unidentified Speaker
Get out of here. Let's all roll away in tires. See, here's the strange thing, though, about Bodi. There are times. I mean, we know him as a ball.

June Diane Raphael
That's how we met him. But there are times where. And that's how. That's how we. That's how he ends.

John Mulaney
Like, at one point, he's a dome. He's sort of a party tent. He's sort of a shapeshift. So if I'm Bodi, I'm just like. I'm releasing myself out of backpacks and just getting the fuck out of there.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Like, why is Bodi allow himself to even be polite? Cause he's polite. Yeah. He's put into that contraption where the robot comes and the fake Angelica Houston says that we're gonna disembowel him and it's a ball.

John Mulaney
Yeah. Like, what do you mean you're gonna disembowel him? Like, this is a straight up ball of energy right now that you've been hitting with lasers, by the way. You're not gonna pull bowels out of it. That would be.

Jason Mantzoukas
I would have loved that if the robot was, like, business and, like, it just, like, all of a sudden, Bodi, like, his asshole got sell out. No, entirely. They are not. They are such bad nazis. They're not even curious about how to exploit any of these amazing resources.

John Mulaney
Like, if they found et, they would be like, let's fucking. Yeah, fuck him in the ass. Oh, let's keep the shit out of him. Out of him and take his money.

Unidentified Speaker
Yes. Bring him to me. You have a title of the movie in your question? Yes, my name is Jessica sand. Nazis, I guess, for her title.

June Diane Raphael
Why in the orphanage? Why is there roller skate training at all if they're being inducted into the system and they don't have roller skates at any point in the military? I think Charles Durney, because he's, you know, he doesn't like his job. I think he. I think he brought skateball to them to be like, look, these kids have to have something.

John Mulaney
You know? And then evil nazi rubber suit was like. Was like, yeah, I'm in on that. But in a bad way. So I think they built this skate park.

I mean, it is an orphanage. They were like, look, we gotta give him fucking something. And that's the weird thing about that skate session. You know, it set. Except I thought when they first skated in there, they're all gonna be skating in the same way and doing some nazi moves.

June Diane Raphael
Cause there's all that nazi video. It's almost like, yeah, they have like, Rodney King beating up on the screen. It's like a Macintosh ad. But then it just, it actually, all it is, is just an all skate where everyone's just skating. Oh, about the video screens during the all skate.

John Mulaney
During the kids skate. Like, are they matching? What's happening when people fall? Like the people in the video fall. Does that make sense?

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, I noticed that as well, but I don't. I think they were. I think that was them trying to be clever filmmakers. I don't think that was supposed to be. Well, then.

John Mulaney
Oh, that was the day they tried. Yeah, I don't think that was supposed to be like, one day. Yeah, I don't think they were supposed to be mirroring the screens purposefully. Right. I do want to say about this audience, you guys have come very prepared.

Unidentified Speaker
I've seen pages and pages. Pages of notes here, sir, your title. So I want somebody to start a tumblr where everybody can post their nerd notes. My name is Tim. The title would be lost boys meets witness.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yes. You guys need to decide who you like best. My question's about the legal system. It's illegal to know where you're from. Fiction is illegal.

John Mulaney
Yes. And if someone escapes from the orphanage. By law, you're required to surgically alter. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the surgically altered.

Unidentified Speaker
That was a weird thing. She said, we'll be surgically altered in what? Here's the thing. The most interesting things about this society were just mentioned, and we never saw. I mean, even them saying that the kids were medicated, it sounded like they probably were on some medication at some point and they thought they were taking meds that made them hallucinate.

June Diane Raphael
But there were references. I mean, I don't know what that could mean. I don't know if we saw people who were surgically altered. If so, I didn't think it was. We never saw it come to fruition.

Jason Mantzoukas
That's so true. I don't think so. Unless it's underneath clothing. So you think it's genital altering? Genital in nature, sewing vaginas?

June Diane Raphael
I don't know that it's not. Hey, Paul. Yeah, hey, Paul. You are all sewing vaginas. Shut.

Calm down. We were all thinking it, guys. That none of us were sewing buttholes and vaginas. It was on the tip of everyone's tongue. It was not at all.

Jason Mantzoukas
But it came to you real quick. This audience is right behind me here. They've all pictured a sewn butthole. Sir, your name, your title, and your question. My name's Brian, by the way.

Unidentified Speaker
Brian? Who has Brian? Note paper. Your name is at the top with a soccer ball on it. It's from third grade.

Jason Mantzoukas
With a soccer ball on it. It is. It is like from third grade. Where's my notepad? It's solar 20 somethings.

Unidentified Speaker
And did anyone else think that Jamie Girtz's messiah father looked like they put robes and a beard and long hair on Norm MacDonald? Wow. One person dead. Get married. Get married.

Jason Mantzoukas
That is a. How did this get made? Love connection. Yes. Stand up.

John Mulaney
Did you say Norm MacDonald? Yeah, I didn't get that. I got more Barry Gibb. Is it possible? Yeah, we'll take a quick look.

Unidentified Speaker
Barry Gibb, to me was one that. Yeah. By the way, I bet he does. Cause you said it, and someone jumped on it so quickly. All right, here we go.

We're gonna take a look at this guy, but this is not gonna be good for the people at home. Does that look like Norm MacDonald to you or Barry Gibbie? Barry Gibb. It's also like a little Richard Chamberlain. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't think Norm MacDonald, sir. But you two should definitely get together because you saw that. Oh, my question about the bounty hunters was this. So the bounty hunters find the solar babies. They find them wherever they are, in the desert or whatnot.

Jason Mantzoukas
They grab them, they lash them to their cart. And the solar babies are like the horses that are pulling the bounty hunters cart until they found the solar babies. How did that cart move? Wow. Great.

They're in the middle of the. They're tracking the solar babies with nothing to pull the cart with. So is one of them constantly pulling the cart? Like, what's their life? What's that?

I would watch a prequel movie or a side movie. That's just the. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead. Of those two characters, are you pitching. Out a giant marvel like Universe stemming from solar baby?

All of it. Yes. Star wars esque universe, in which there's a movie, there's a bounty hunter movie. There's also a prequel movie about blazing saddles. It all goes back to spaceballs, I think.

Oh, yes, Paul, very excited about that idea. Guys, I want to see more spaceballs. Wait, no, it's not. I thought Jamie Gertz was in spanish baseballs for a second, but it's not. No, it's Daphne Senega.

It is. Here we go. If you have a comment that you want to talk to us about that we didn't cover and you're listening right now. You could call us at six one nine. Paul ask.

Unidentified Speaker
A S K 619. Paul ask. Are you sure it's not Paul ask? A lot of people have been asking for that. No, it's not Paul ask.

That's a different number for something very different. And if you do call that number, I will tell you it's confidential. And whatever we do is in the privacy of our house, so you can leave things like this. Hi, Paul, my name is Erin and I just wanted to chime in on June's distaste for man flexibility. And I'm right there with her.

June Diane Raphael
I think that there is something to the stretching of one's paint balls that is just unpalatable. And I fully support June also. June and I both don't really love bun. And I think that that also has something to do with the distaste for seeing a man in full 180 degree splits. So that is someone commenting on June's lack of your distaste for man flexibility.

Unidentified Speaker
So there you go. That's great. I mean, I think there's a lot more ladies out there who are afraid. To come forward to support your anti, your anti buns, anti flexibility movement. I wouldn't say I'm anti buns.

June Diane Raphael
I just think. I think the movie and tv industry think women are super into buns and I don't think we are. Wow. Controversy, very controversial. Well, obviously we have a lot of opinions about buns, about splits.

Unidentified Speaker
Obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are other people out there that had a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. We've heard from Jason, June and Paul, but we've yet to hear from all of the online critics that disagree. This movie's crap. It's time for second opinion.

John Mulaney
It's time for second opinions. Yeah. What's your name, sir? John. Give it up for John.

Jason Mantzoukas
Great work. Very good. Great work. These are remix that, remix that Internet. These are five star opinions.

Unidentified Speaker
Cold from Amazon. Here we go. First one from Robin, Robin b. McGorin. Wonderful story.

And the cast did a magnificent job to make this worthwhile entertainment. I rated this an a plus grade for being very different and a wonderful movie for the entire family to sit and watch. I don't think there are many around as enjoyable as this one.

Jason Mantzoukas
There are literally tens of thousands.

Unidentified Speaker
You want to know more? I'm not going to spoil it for you. Why don't you retreat to the lounge room put on the television. Lounge room. Grab the popcorn, relax to the greatest entertainment this show can produce, and enjoy this.

John Mulaney
Chef, does she live in the year 41? She speaks in 41 speaks. Go to the lounge room. There was a lot of, like, fake lingo. You know, they'd be like, let's accelerate.

Jason Mantzoukas
Or as somebody said at one point, somebody goes, you believe all that dog squeeze? They tell us in class, dog squeeze is my favorite. You believe all that dog squeeze? What? Like, that's obviously like dog shit.

But they're like, we can't say shit. There's kids in the movie. They can murder. We can light a lady's hands on fire and then electrocute her to death. We can have commit the act of murder irrevocably taking a human life, but we cannot have them hear shit.

Unidentified Speaker
And this is right here. This is from Kermiton wrote, as a 75 year old man purchasing this DVD. Whoa, whoa. This is already an Amber Alert. Purchase.

Jason Mantzoukas
This is already an Amber Alert. Whoa. As a 75 year old man purchasing this DVD, because I just saw a quick view and it caught my attention, so I purchased it and found out it had a good story. Smart young people and a good production. Take a chance on this one.

Unidentified Speaker
And anyway, if you don't like it, just give it to a kid that you don't like. Ooh, no, that is like, like, that is a pedophiles room. Like, for sure. I saw a quick view of it and bought the DVD. You know, he's just like, on the Internet, just searching around, and he's like, yeah, here's a good cook view.

Okay, this is. Okay, here we go. This is from Elisa Rosales. If you like Sci-Fi you'll like this. It was a movie from my childhood, and I wish there are more movies to access from that time period.

John Mulaney
Five stars. 1986 was this movie. You can't find any movies. You can't find anything. It's impossible.

Jason Mantzoukas
There's no way to know. And I thought this was worth playing here. It's the first ever video. Second opinion. Oh, my God.

I didn't know this was possible. Yes, it is indeed. And here we go. And it's so sweet and lovely. Here we go.

John Mulaney
I was really excited to receive solo rubies in the mail. I had totally forgotten that I ordered, and then I went on vacation, and then I got back and it was here. And I really enjoyed watching the movie because it is a good childhood movie, but I had forgotten so much of it, and it really brought back a lot of really good memories.

Oh, my gosh.

Jason Mantzoukas
Solar baby is good memories for him, but he can't remember any of it. He had forgotten a lot of it. And he had forgotten he ordered it. Yeah, there's a lot of talk of how they purchased it, but you know what it is. Here's what happened.

He should go. There was a link, a hyperlink for a website selling dvd's. It's not like you read the New York Times. And, like, theater critics are like, well, first of all, I had to go to the box office. Yeah.

Unidentified Speaker
I don't like seats in the orchestra. I go for rear mezzanine. But I think I had bought the. Tickets, and I didn't realize it was Tuesday. Someone told me, hey, I know you just got back from vacation, but it's Tuesday.

June Diane Raphael
I do think for him, though, a lot of his review has to do with the fact that he just got back from vacation. Yeah. It's that feeling of, like, oh, the good days are over. Like, I'm back to the grind. Oh.

And then there's. I feel very differently surprised for him. I feel like a doctor could diagnose a neurological disorder with this video of a man who cannot remember the movie from his childhood who doesn't remember ordering it. Like, has, like, severe. In, like, one and a half minutes, severe memory problems.

John Mulaney
Also, like Stanley Kubrick, like, framed. He's, like, between two doors. It's very weird. It's center point focused, perfectly centered between two white doors, and he can't remember how he got there. If you want to find out more about solar babies, you can go to slashfilm.com dot.

Unidentified Speaker
There will be a brand new article written by Blake J. Harris there. He will get into it for another one of his oral histories. Anything to add before we wrap it up here? Anything that we didn't talk about?

June Diane Raphael
We didn't talk about them, you know, skating over that ravine. Oh, yeah. The jump. The big jump. And getting to build faster speeds by everybody skating in a circle.

Unidentified Speaker
They seem to have a lot. They have roller derby skills. They sometimes have baseball skills, pole vaulting skills. Yeah, I was gonna say he pole vaults over an electric gate. Like, it's nothing like.

Jason Mantzoukas
That. Would be impossible a to find a pole for pole vaulting that could sustain. That kind of weight. Yes. Oh, yeah.

And it's like an 18 foot fence. I mean, I'm just trying to imagine, because the implication is sometimes that these feats are easier or are helped by skates. And I'm trying to imagine, if I really had to make that jump, would I want to be on roller skates. I mean, those skates are so heavy. Yeah.

June Diane Raphael
I think I might just try and jump it. Just try and jump it. I just. They never seem to be helped by their skates again. Most of the movie takes place in.

Jason Mantzoukas
In sand. Yeah, yeah. I would also argue, why not just make the bridge slightly like, one is higher and one is lower. It was a direct, like, straight away, so they really. And Jason Patrick makes it alone.

Yeah, he can do it. Cause he's the boss who is not the star of the movie, who's not. The hero, again, has no powers to speak of besides jumping that big ditch. Yeah, basically. Yeah.

John Mulaney
I like when the motorcycles try to chase them instead of accelerating, they sort of slow up and do, like, a donut and then fall into it. Even though kids have just jumped in on roller skates. Yeah. Arguably they would have the most speed. And they could easily.

They would definitely have the most speed. Cause they're on motorcycles. Yes. And it seems to me like. And they're like, I know how to drive.

Unidentified Speaker
And they blow up. And the solar babies cheer. Another one dead.

Lucas Haas actually ends up as one of the bounty hunters 30 years later. Like, oh, yeah, what do you want? I'll make that movie, too. Yeah, I'm into it. I'm very into that.

John Mulaney
He can only get off if her hands are on fire. And like. And Jamie Gertz is now involved in some sort of weird sexual relationship with her dad. Cause that seems like where that's going. I don't know.

Unidentified Speaker
We need to get Mel Brooks to talk about this. Blake Harris should get Mel Brooks to kind of find out what went on. I would be curious to know if there were duplicate locations for spaceballs, if it was like, rush that into production. Like, oh, we have like twelve extra days in the desert. And they were like, okay, all right, get that, get the roller, get the roller.

John Mulaney
Get the roller, babies.

Unidentified Speaker
All right, so you can follow us on our Facebook page, you can follow us on Twitter. Make sure you call us at 617 Paul. Ask and read our article on slash film. And a big thank you to Avril Halley, who calls, pulls all of our clips. You can follow her on movie bitches on YouTube.

July Diaz, Nate, Kylie, Marissa Zeitz, Leanna Waldron, everybody here at Largo and, and the people at Earwolf. Thank you guys so much. We'll see you next time. Bye bye.

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John Mulaney
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Unidentified Speaker
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Matinee Monday: Solarbabies LIVE! (w/ John Mulaney)

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1: Introduction

2: Analysis of the Film

3: Guest Insights

4: Audience Interaction

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