Matinee Monday: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow LIVE!

Paul Scheer
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Jason Mantzoukas
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Paul Scheer
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Jason Mantzoukas
We're being attacked by too much CGI. It's all over the place, and it's closing in fast. Help us before we all die of boredom. We saw sky captain in the world of tomorrow, you know what that means?

Tawny Newsome
How did Schwarzenegger grow a baby in his belly? Rock a rhinestone vest while ripping Justin to Kelly? Or maybe see a burlesque show? Wouldn't they crow and take a boat with speed to hitting cruise control? J man, Big Paul in the beautiful June gonna take you from the goob all the way to the room ran the games of street Fighter help to blow off steam just a sucker punch the odd life of Timothy Green Sharknado the birdemic how we stay in a lot they call it in the badass and he's on the line cranking 88 minutes cause they cool as nice cause of bad Jim Vonnie looking kind and nice?

Paul and June getting literal. Jason is getting laid, June is making sure all the monkey shots getting paid they judge a bunch of movies while they making the gray. Here's a real question for you. How did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and hello, people of Largo.

Jason Mantzoukas
We are so excited to be here tonight to be talking to you about Sky Captain and the world of tomorrow. If you've watched this movie, I apologize. I managed to avoid it until just this week, and boy, oh, boy, it's rough. But good thing we have an all star panel tonight to help us dissect this blue screen masterpiece. Let me bring out my co host, Jason Manzukas.

Tawny Newsome
Welcome.

What's up, jerks?

How we doing, everybody? What's up, la? We're here to talk about a terrible movie. Um, I'll ask this. A movie that is 90% real time navigation, a lots of maps, a lot of charts, that's a lot of compasses.

Jason Mantzoukas
And none of it was there, all of it pointless. A movie in which Gwyneth Paltrow gets punched into unconsciousness.

Tawny Newsome
Sky captain and the turd of tomorrow. It is a problematic movie indeed for many a reason. But here's a question that I will. I did not enjoy this. Well, here's a question I will ask of everyone that comes out here.

Jason Mantzoukas
How long did it take you to get through this? Hour and 40 minutes. Movie. I watched this movie today, okay. And it was awful.

Tawny Newsome
It was awful. My first note is I'm. Wait. Is I'm six minutes in and I'm already exhausted. Next note.

Wow. Comma, this is awful. Next note. This must have been torture to make. Next note.

This looks awful. Next note. I hate this boring movie. Next note. How is it possible Giovanni Rubisi is still doing this map shit?

This was happening all day for me. I watched this movie. I started the movie at 08:00 p.m.. I finished it at 1245 at night because I stopped it for breaks. And I rewound it a numerous amount of times where I found that I just stopped paying attention.

I finished this movie. I finished this movie and was, I'm gonna be honest, furious. I was furious. But thankfully, I realized I had enough time before I had to come here. Boom.

Den of thieves on iTunes. Fucking killing it. Got it. Gerard Butler, the salve to all my woes.

Jason Mantzoukas
I was gonna think that that would be a good movie for this podcast. It is great, actually. No, it's not. Cause it's fucking rad. If you are casting Den of thieves two, put me in that shit.

I am excited for that now. All right, well, to break this movie down a little bit further, we have a. How did this get made, all star? We haven't seen this person since Arnold Schwarzenegger was chasing after his very exciting turboman toy. It was episode 28, an episode called Jingle all the Way.

You know this guy from his hilarious Netflix special, Joe Mandy's award winning comedy special, which is now also streaming. You don't have to watch it. You can listen to it wherever you listen to streaming comedy or anything like that. Please welcome Joe Mandy. Woo woo woo.

Tawny Newsome
Yeah. Welcome, Joe. Hello. Hello.

Jason Mantzoukas
This movie falls in the category of movies that I feel guilty asking people to watch when they come do the podcast. No, no, no. I have a high tolerance for this kind of stuff. I loved it. I actually loved it.

So you. Did you digest it in one sitting? Well, I'll be honest. I rented it last night and I got high. And then it's funny that you had the six minute mark.

Joe Mande
Cause after six minutes, I stopped. Just like, I've read more in these six minutes than I have a book this year. Like, there's so much reading involved that I was like, I'm too high to watch this movie right now. I gotta, like, sleep this off. And it's also in soft focus, too, so it also makes the reading challenge.

The whole movie is shot. It was at the time, I think, like, very innovative to capture this look, but it's really just an instagram filter. Like, they just shot the whole movie with, like, Valencia or whatever. Willow. It also feels like they wanted to make the movie black and white, but someone was like, guys, guys, sepia.

Sepia, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sepia. Please, please, you gotta. Don't make it black and white.

Tawny Newsome
It won't work. You know what sells tickets? Brown. Yeah, a real gauzy brown. Oh, you need that dirty yellow.

Joe Mande
Come on. Oof. Magoof. It's straight up no good. And I believe there's lots of live action people running in front of animated backdrops.

Tawny Newsome
Like, it's a fucking banana splits. Goddamn nonsense. Where they're like, what was the banana splits? Like Tom Sawyer and wait, how old is everybody here? Does everybody know what I'm talking about?

Vis a vis banana splits? Right? Wasn't it Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn? But it was all animated backgrounds. Yeah.

All right, thank you. It's rough. It is a rough. And I'm gonna blow your mind on the sense that, yes, this was innovative, but it was also. No, it wasn't.

Jason Mantzoukas
The amount of blue screen was innovative at the time. But Sin City came out the same year they did it way better. Oh, yeah. The same time. So it wasn't like, this wasn't like 19, you know, 87.

Like, you know, it was like, yeah, it was. It wasn't 1987. It was not. Was it 86? Yes.

Also here tonight to discuss the film, she is on two great podcasts. One called yo, is this racist and super group. You know her from shows like bajillion dollar properties. Please welcome Tawny newsome. Who boop.

Tawny Newsome
Yeah. Woo. Welcome, Tawny. Oh, my God. Here we go.

June Diane Raphael
Oh, boy. Now, Tawny, I know that you. You also had issues with watching this in one sitting. How long did it take you to get through this? Three goddamn days.

I rented this shit on Tuesday and was like, I can't do this to myself. I don't need to go through this in one sitting. I'll watch it tomorrow. Got busy with life shit. Didn't watch it tomorrow, watched it tomorrow's tomorrow.

And if you're familiar with Murphy's law, simplest answer. No, it's more like itunes law of rentals, which is when you wait 72 hours, you have to pay for this garbage movie again. That's why I just buy now because. I never can watch Jute Law is gonna get a check in a couple of months and be like, why did everybody.

Tawny Newsome
Why did a whole mess of people rent this shit movie? I'm like, horny young Dumbledore, I hope. I pray to God for my teenage self. I pray to God Jude uses that money to stay bathing in yogurt and children's blood that keeps him looking so goddamn beautiful. But it was so bad.

June Diane Raphael
I was so mad to fork over that money again, only to find out I only had like 20 minutes left of it. And I was like, I could have predicted the ending of this. But the last 20 minutes, they do reveal the entire plot that we are kept in the dark for. We don't know exactly what's going on. But we've seen the wizard of Oz before, so we know what's gonna happen.

Jason Mantzoukas
Well, let's. I just want to, like, start off with this as my. My opening salvo here. Like, what? Why does anyone assume we want this?

Right? Like, I feel like there's this thing of, like, oh, it's like the 1940s cereal. Now. We like it when it's like Indiana Jones because it's like. It is like a cereal, but it's updated to a movie that people watch.

Yeah, but it's not like we don't want a 1940s cereal. Like, I don't think. Right. It's. Is it just people want a lot of tweed on white people or.

Tawny Newsome
A lot. People are like, you know what we don't have enough of in movies? Dirigibles. But it's this. I think it's this weird thing that, again, it comes back in a band.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's like. It's. I feel like somebody is a fan of it and convinces other people, like, you know what? Everyone wants to hear about Vinyl. We'll make a whole series called vinyl.

Tawny Newsome
I feel about the aesthetic. I feel about the aesthetic of this movie the way I feel also about, like. Like, steampunk. I'm like, I think this is a great big bag of. No, thanks.

Yeah, I don't. I don't want this. I didn't ask for this. So get it out of my movies. I'm looking at you, Peter Jackson, London on wheels, or whatever this movie is that's coming out.

I don't get it. No, thanks. Like, who made the, like, didn't the. But didn't, like, the Farrelly brothers, like, remake the Three Stooges and just, like, made three Stooges? Like, no, we are past it.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's okay to be past it. Like, we don't have to go back to it. Yeah. This whole movie felt like it was. What are those called?

Joe Mande
Like, in video games? Like, cutscenes? Yes. It was like a whole movie of a cutscene for the video game version of the Rocketeer. I've also seen.

What the fuck am I watching? I've also seen cutscenes that had better acting in them than and better written dialogue. I would argue this is like a video game cutscene of, like, an old game, like wing commander or something like that. It's not even a new game. I also find this to be a very rude reconciliation of Gwyneth and Jude since the talented Mister Ripley like, how dare this be the next time we see them together, by the way, they should have been epic.

June Diane Raphael
Fuck you. I feel like this is a scene snake oil salesman to kind of get this movie because Gwyneth Paltrow signed on without a script, did not know what she was doing. She saw, like, a screensaver that that. Guy made and was like, ooh, those toasters have wings. I'm in.

Tawny Newsome
Yeah. She saw a moving magic eye poster and was like, you're telling me this. Movie has blimps and maps? I'm in. Yeah.

June Diane Raphael
She'S been looking for a good blimp and Matt map project. Flicks, maps and robots. Yes, please. This movie is trash. It didn't make me, like, long for the Star wars prequels.

Jason Mantzoukas
I was like, yeah, give me something. Give me something tactile. Everything felt like gauzy. It was like, what are we doing? And like, this is like, I pull this one still just be like, that's it.

Like, Angelina Jolie just blew. There's nothing there. Just nothing. She worked on this movie for 14. Minutes of one day and was probably paid $7 million.

June Diane Raphael
God bless. I hope so. I hope so. She's paid 7 million. Maps.

Jason Mantzoukas
All the maps you can carry. This movie exists. CGI maps. Now, you should have asked in which maps are currency. The movie shot in 29 days.

Angelina Jolie shot for three of the 29 days. Wait, they shot for 29 days? How is that possible? Because the movie itself is 32 days long. Wow.

Tawny Newsome
Yes. That's crazy. Yeah, 29 days, I will say, is an incredibly short amount of, like, a 29 day shoot is like a indie movie. Yes. Like, that's crazy that they did that.

And then somebody basically took an amount of time to paint nonsense pictures behind them. Yeah. Apparently the director shot the entire movie with stand ins, then showed them their scenes, and they just duplicated the moves of the stand ins, and then that's how they were able to get it done so quickly. And these three A list actors looked at this trash and said, yes, yes, I want to be in this adult highlights magazine. Well, I don't want to spoil anything.

Joe Mande
There are four A list actors, one of whom is a dead man. Oh, yeah. Yes. This is a good. Yeah, this is so much more like, people got so mad about the hologram tupac, so much more awful to do to a person's legacy.

So unfair. Lawrence Olivier was culled together by used footage and only was in the movie because Jude Law was like, I've always wanted to act with Lawrence Olivier. And the director's like, you got it, bud.

Jason Mantzoukas
Here he is right here. Nothing's there. We'll put it in post. Don't worry about it. Yeah, we'll just like Max Headroom, the greatest actor of all time.

Joe Mande
It'll be fine. I wrote Max headroom down here. My thing as well. It's. It is.

Tawny Newsome
It is egregious what they do in this movie. It's awful. And to Giovanni Ribisi, yes, Giovanni Ribisi was his gum. CGI? No, he has gum in every movie he does.

June Diane Raphael
It's in his writer. At this point, I thought he was a little too. So he apparently is one of the probably smartest people on the planet, according to the movie. But he treats Jude Law like Jude Law is the boss. Like, apparently Giovanni Ribisi should be the boss.

Tawny Newsome
He can, like, he's important. He can, like, understand what's up. Also, it felt like in the first draft of the movie, Giovanni Rubisi's character is a smart dog. Because every time he does something, Jude law goes, good boy. He calls him good boys.

Joe Mande
You're a good boy. And he's like, thanks, cap. And I'm like, I don't like this relationship at all. I gotta see how. What the age difference is.

Jason Mantzoukas
Because it doesn't seem like they're that great. Like, they're not. They're like the same two years. No way. Oh, yeah.

You can't. You never know it. Jude could be 65 goddamn years old. And still be young. Dumbledore, what is Gwyneth Paltrow?

Is she a reporter or a photographer? You're asking, what is Gwyneth? I mean, what is her role? A photographer? She's like a whole bunch of goop in a really shiny package.

Tawny Newsome
Nailed it. But I was confused about her role. Like, her. Is she reporter? Cause she's like a his girl Friday level screwball comedy reporter.

But she also seems. She also seems very into the photos too. Yeah, but she's also, like, lobotomized as well. Like the. Like, the dumbest character.

Joe Mande
It's so one dimensional. Unbelievable. The worst character arc I've ever seen, maybe, is like, this reporter is very concerned she's gonna run out of photos. That's like, if you had a character arc that was like, this hostess isn't sure if all her guests, like, they're bread mayonnaised on both sides. So she keeps.

June Diane Raphael
Or this woman doesn't want to wash her car. She's worried it's gonna rain. And that's kind of what drives her. Or this woman doesn't wanna take off her mascara. Cause her friends might text and they might still go out, but then they're not texting, so she's just watching Netflix in her mascara.

Like, it's not a character trait.

Yeah, so bad. How about. How about win? Gwyneth Paltrow in the back of the plane, pulls out a journal from one of the scientists and just basically reads exposition. Exposition.

Tawny Newsome
It's not even a journal. She's then just looking at photos and just inferring things. And it's. It is exposition written as if. It's like, from a exposition description.

It's like you would enter in your journal. She pulled out the. Of the movie and just started reading the stage dragon. It's like he apparently was, you know. Like, while looking at a photo.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. Was apparently disgraced from this, but wanted to, but I was like, what the fuck is happening? And it talks to my biggest problem with this movie, which is no one reacts to any environment that they're in. She's in a fucking plane. She's like, oh, well, so anyway.

Tawny Newsome
That can fly from the United States to. Nepal so easily and become a submarine too. Oh, that's right. Wait, they're driving down. They have a chase scene in New York City that is like a car chase with airplanes flying so low to take a left at the drug store.

Jason Mantzoukas
He's like, okay. Like, well, it's also every woman's experience talking to her Lyft or Uber driver, just being like, no, trust me, I know these streets. No, trust me. Turn left. No, please turn left.

June Diane Raphael
And they're like, well, I don't know, the gps. And you're like, no, I fucking live here. Just turn left. And she doesn't know because she messes up the directions. She messes up.

Jason Mantzoukas
You think? Right? She's dumb. Yeah, she never gets the direction. She's dumb broad.

Joe Mande
That's her character. She's an award winning journalist. But her whole character is like, I need to get pictures of this. Why would anyone trust my writing?

Tawny Newsome
And Michael and her publisher, Michael Gambon is like, where are you? What are you doing? I'm nervous. She also, I mean, I know this is a nitpicky note. She has essentially what would be like an automatic camera.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, there's no zooming in features on that camera. She's always like, oh, let me take a picture of this giant robot. It would be a shitty picture. It would be a nondescript picture. Yeah, it's not even a good camera.

That's my issue. My issue for you. You were like, oh, if she'd only had a Laika, then I would buy into this movie more. And I'm not saying it because Laika's a sponsor of the show and has great. But Leica, please send me a camera.

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Joe Mande
I'd also just like to mention that the very first frame of this film is a. Is an image of the Hindenburg, which is a giant, bloated thing known to be a famous disaster. Like, it's like, that's how you're starting this $700 million movie. Here we go. Yeah, there it is.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's a take. Take a look. This is how we open up the movie. Symbol of the movie. And.

Tawny Newsome
So are you meant to believe that, like, oh, they really worked out the kinks. Yeah. Well, yes. I mean, this is very strange. It's an alternate universe where, like, it's 19, late thirties.

Joe Mande
They're like the Nazis. The camera is never not moving. Every single movie is like, doesn't.

Jason Mantzoukas
There are moments in this movie where text is all over the screen. Like, they're, like, when they're typing at the office. Like, yes, that's what I'm talking about. We have to read all this shit. All right, sure.

I'm getting this. New York orthodox police scientist. Oh, Polly Perkins. She wrote that. Oh, okay.

Joe Mande
Chronicle. That must be where. Oh, Metro. She works in the metro division.

Okay. Fuck. Conservative color, Scarface, Scientology, Meek Mill. Missing. Missing.

All right. Uh.

Jason Mantzoukas
So much text. Too much text. It's very important to the movie. I like when the guy on the Hindenburg is like, oh, I'm gonna tell you this super secret thing. And then they turn back and he's gone.

June Diane Raphael
He's still on the blimp somewhere, I promise. But they also make it like he's gone. And then they do another shot where you see him walking off the blimp. Yeah. Now it's weird.

Joe Mande
Cause, like, I was like, is that scientist missing? I hope that comes back. I hope there's text about that at some point. I'd like to know what happened with that scientist. I hope he's not missing.

Jason Mantzoukas
Also, I gotta say, I thought that the. It was pretty anticlimactic docking with the Empire State Building. No one seemed excited about it. It was the first time that if that was front page news, you would think people were like, hey. Or there'd be some level of excitement.

He walks off as if he was, like, the last person out of seeing, like, a matinee of a quiet place, like, in the middle of the week. Like, that was good. I enjoyed it. That was fun. Yeah.

Oh, God, this movie. I just. I just really have, like, verbs and adjectives here. I'm like, bird planes, robot planes, backseat driving. Sala, can I talk about the first.

June Diane Raphael
Shot of Jude Law? Oh, yeah. Cause I looked at my notes and I remembered I wanted to bring this up. Jude Law. The first shot of Jude Law is not Jude Law.

It's like, prove to me that it's him. He is so covered. He's got, like, a high collar, fur bomber jacket situation. He's got, like, goggles on, he's got a hat. His eyes are just Kate Blanchett.

Like, it is. It is not. You think it's Cate Blanchett? I think it's Cate Blanchett. I think she was the fan.

Jason Mantzoukas
She was the fan. I love it. Yeah. And I think she shot this movie before Jude Law stepped in and went, yeah, I can one up old Katie. If you look at that shot.

June Diane Raphael
It's not him. I'm kind of confused about what a sky captain is and what their job is. Because at one point, they're like, robots are attacking the city. Sky captain will figure it out. It's like Willy, okay?

Jason Mantzoukas
Is that his job? He seems to be. He seems to be some sort of superhero. So much so that when the bird planes attack the base that he's at. By the way, the stupidest thing.

Tawny Newsome
Scramble. That's what they are. That's what they fucking are. Planes are bird. They don't need to have wings that flap.

No, but they basically only scramble him to get out there and fight them. They have so many planes on the ground, none of which do. They launch into the air to fight these bird planes. They just get him out there so he can take them all down. And I don't even understand, now that I've seen the whole movie, what the birdplanes or the robot planes even were doing.

June Diane Raphael
I don't think they know they were. Stealing the generators, stealing minerals or whatever, but to. And were they putting that in Noah's ark? They were stealing a precious, tiny elephant. Oh, I did like the tiny elephant.

Joe Mande
Yeah, that was cute. You're right. I loved the tiny elephant. Tiny elephant is the best part. But it did.

June Diane Raphael
It did lead me to believe that Jude Law had, like, superhero powers. Cause they did only scramble him out there. I was sitting there thinking like, well, this motherfucker's like Superman or some shit. Well, just like somebody, like, they have so much exploitation position in this movie. Go.

Jason Mantzoukas
Sky captains are. Yeah. And it's like, tell us. Let someone know. Is he just a part of the air force?

Tawny Newsome
Is he a superhero? What's. Because Angelina Jolie, seemingly, is Nick Fury. She's a sky pirate. Sorry.

I'm sorry. Angelina Jolie is a Nick Fury character. She has an eye patch. Yeah. And she is in a floating hover.

Joe Mande
Thing, like an aircraft carrier in the sky. That's just Nick Fury, but british. But british, yes. The title is movie, actually, now that you bring it up. What's the sky captain?

It seems like it's like that thing where, like, a movie is released in, like, Thailand or something. They can't accurately describe it. And so it's like. It's like, initially it's called, like, airplane pilot and the future. And it's like, sky captain.

That's close enough. A world of tomorrow. And are we meant to believe that the world of tomorrow is the world that they go to in, like, the Shangri la world in Nepal? I think they said it's what. It's what will happen with the space Noah's ark.

Jason Mantzoukas
Right? Because the space. Because the space Noah's ark is the world. I miss that. Where is that thing going?

June Diane Raphael
Where is it going? Where is it going? Mars on a new planet, right? Yeah. They didn't specify what planet.

Jason Mantzoukas
I mean, here's the basic. I mean, if you want to understand the whole movie. Here it is. Good boy, Dex. He explains the whole thing right here.

This comes in the very last ten minutes of the movie.

Tawny Newsome
Good boy, Dex. Thanks, Scott.

Who are they? They're unit eleven. No, what's left of them. They were brought here to finish what they started 30 years ago. Finish what?

Joe Mande
Tell them. Don't go believe that human. Watching this mix reminds me, Jude Law is an idiot.

Tawny Newsome
Jude Law's character in this movie has been given all of the information he needs to know who these men are, what's going on, and what's happening. So either they are so uncomfortable with where they are in the movie that they're like, the audience won't know what's happening. We have to explain it to them, or he's a fucking moron. His character is like, I've not been listening to anyone. I've just been thinking about maps.

Jason Mantzoukas
I'm all about the maps. I'm all about fuel and maps. That's my gig, baby. Everything else, I don't care about at all until I get to punch Gwyneth Paltrow. What is this role?

This is crazy. I will just say this, which is interesting. The two filmmakers. There was two? Two.

Initially, Carrie and his brother Kevin had nothing more than just a vague idea of this guy who flew a plane. And then we would talk about all the stuff that we like, like Indiana Jones. And that was. That's his. That was the creative process.

Also. Also, this is the other thing that really bummed me out. Carrie, the director of the film, had never been to New York City when he made the film. Kind of a bummer. It's like that.

It feels like the movie takes place. Like, yeah, I got it from pictures. I got it. The big set piece of my whole movie. I could see him being like, you know what?

Tawny Newsome
I'd never been to 1942 either.

Joe Mande
And I nailed that. And I fucking crushed it. Nailed that. Where's the lie? Oh, my gosh.

Jason Mantzoukas
And apparently they were really bummed out because the entire movie was shot on blue screen. But there's one scene that they actually shot in a real location because they ran out of time. Yes. The office. Polly's editor's office.

So it's only seen in the entire movie shop. You can do that on a blue screen. You can't put a desk in front of a blue screen. Michael Gambon was like, I need a real room or I'm gonna freak out. I certainly most won't do this shit.

Put me in a real room. I am the second Dumbledore.

Tawny Newsome
One of two dumbledores in this movie, guys.

Oh, you didn't think I would? Have you noticed there's two goddamn dumbledores in this movie? Cause there is two fucking dumbledores. Do you wanna hear the rest of the plot of the movie. It's just a little bit more to hear the rest of it.

Joe Mande
And was doomed to extinction. So he proposed, unthinkable. To build a vessel that would carry the building blocks of a new civilization into space. He uses machines to collect specimens representing all life on Earth. What Totenkoff called the world of tomorrow.

June Diane Raphael
Those vials that Doctor Janemus gave me, what were they? Adam and Eve. Totenkoff's masterpiece. Seeds of a technological utopia. He smuggled them off this island, knowing Totenkopf would never leave without them.

Joe Mande
But now that he has them again, there is nothing left to keep him here. Then let him go. Let him go where he can't harm anyone. No, no, no. That ship must never leave this Earth.

Tawny Newsome
Why? What haven't you told us? When the rocket reaches 100 edge of space, Earth will be incinerated. How do we stop it? Only tobacco can stop it now.

Joe Mande
But we've never been allowed near him. He's too well guarded even to be seen. Where is he? We're on our way, Cap. Good boy, Dex.

Tawny Newsome
So that is. That scene is bookended by good boy, Dex. Yeah. That is so much exciting position. And I like that is.

Jason Mantzoukas
No, you. We don't know that as the moviegoer. Like, you don't know any of that information. No. That the world is gonna blow up, that their plan is for the world of tomorrow, that it's Adam and Eve.

Everything is laid out, like real last minute. They even. I still don't know what the Adam and Eve thing is, because they. They were in the vials, Joe. But, yeah, the whole movie, she's.

Joe Mande
She's handed two whippets and then she's, like, keeping them safe. And at the end it's like. Yeah, it's like it's full of sperm and eggs or whatever. I don't know what's inside. What is the birth of civilization?

June Diane Raphael
It's Adam and Eve. But. Yeah, but it was tiny. People shrunk down like the elephants. It would need a catalyst of some kind to, like.

Jason Mantzoukas
You can't just, like, shoot sperm up in the space and be like, ill. Don't worry about it. I mean, it will get. Figure it out. Figure out.

And then they'll breed. They'll breed, they'll be cool. Yeah. Like. Yeah, it seems odd.

It seems like it should have been planted in something or inhaled this. Oh, my gosh. We talk about the character that's clearly, as I said, their inspiration was Indiana Jones, the sala character. Like, the guy who's their buddy, who they wind up naked in bed with at one point. Yeah.

June Diane Raphael
Oh, the cool wake up where it's just like, gwyneth Paltrow being like, was I raped? Is that what happened here? Like, she just looks around like, what happened? Well, she's, like, very concerned that Jude Law has raped her. Like, we're naked, and then they, like, zoom out, and the three of them.

Joe Mande
And she's, like, not concerned about him. She's like, I'm fine if he did it. Yeah. She's like, I'm cool with Kaji, but I don't like it if Jude Law is here. Right?

June Diane Raphael
Because he was mean to me. Because there's also flower petals on the bed. Why? Why? Was it romantic?

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, they really. It's like a jerk off massage parlor. So. You mean a massage parlor? Yeah, like a nice one.

So this guy, this Sala guy, which I think has the best line in the entire movie, you know, they get him to work for him for Vienna sausages. That should go to Dex for being a good boy. Yeah, that should be his treat. He may have stole them from Dex. Here he goes.

The maps I needed. Yeah, they're inside. You get something for me? Of course. Three cases, just like you asked.

Tawny Newsome
Oh, Vienna sausages. My God, it's been so long. Kaji, how's your Tibetan?

Jason Mantzoukas
So when he asks them. When he asks them if he can speak the language, when he says, can you speak the language? He goes to be like, yes, I do. He says, when? Cold nipples hard.

So the answer is no. Yeah.

Tawny Newsome
Well, most of my, like, most of my understanding of other languages is how to convey the state of my nipples vis a vis the temperature that we. We find ourselves at with zero prepositions. Like, do you speak the language when rug stand a here? I do. When Gwyneth Paltrow really should burn every copy of this movie.

Jason Mantzoukas
I mean, better than. I can't understand any light source in this movie. I know. I was about to say that. You said, where.

Tawny Newsome
Where is the. What do we. Is this the sun? That's Dewey. What is going on?

Jason Mantzoukas
Only, like crescent moons of people's faces are illuminated. The shoot was 29 days. Everyone was performing their lines into the ether while someone stood next to them with a flashlight.

June Diane Raphael
And every angle that anyone was photographed at or filmed at looks like they're the other face in a velvet painting. You know, you have the one that's looking at you and then the one above you. That's just, like, straight up, 45 degree angle. That's the dead twin. That's the.

Tawny Newsome
That's the dead twin. That's the one that was absorbed. I'm alive. My twin is dead.

Jason Mantzoukas
Apparently, Angelina Jolie did a lot of work, of work on this movie. Like, as far as, like, researching her character. She spent. Yeah, I read this. This is insane.

What? Yeah. She spent. Just in preparation for a role, Angelina Jolie met and interviewed dozens of british World War two veterans and pilots. Untrue.

Joe Mande
And adopted them. Can you mention those?

You're mine. Now.

Jason Mantzoukas
Here's a little taste of Angelina Jolie. Her first entrance. Oh, by the way, just one quick thing. You can see it here in the audience. All the extras were also never on set.

He shot the extras without them being there. So you see her walking through, but really what it is. But she's the only live person there. Yes. As this shows.

So. Because. So that she didn't have to be near, like, civilians. No, no. It was simply because the director felt like he could manipulate them better by shooting them all against a blue screen and then putting them in the way he wanted.

So he basically was like, I could never create a formation of four men standing. So let me do that in post and I can worry about this. Which, again, I just think every scene feels like nobody and nothing is there. Here we go. Joseph Sulk.

June Diane Raphael
I was sure you'd be dead by now.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's good to see you too, Frankie. This had better be important or one of us is in trouble. It's important.

Joe Mande
What was that?

Jason Mantzoukas
Gwyneth Palter, also pregnant throughout this entire. You be nice. Commander Cook, meet Polly Perkins. Polly Perkins, I've heard so much about you. It's a pleasure to finally meet the competition.

Tawny Newsome
Paul, can you pause? It's been a long time, Angelina. Yes, if you can. Absolutely. Did they have to put her eyebrow above the eye patch?

Right, that's not her eyebrow. Right. They put that there. I think it almost looked like the eye patch is inserted inside her eye socket. It seems as though that eyebrow is for the eye patch itself, not for her eyeball.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's the past, future, Jason. That's how they do it. I've got a lot of questions about this eyebrow. I want to look. It's also.

June Diane Raphael
It's the sexiest eye patch I've ever seen. It's like the slinkiest. It's like the thong of eye patches. It's like, do you want to show. Do you want to have a missing eye?

But do you also want to look like a. Please slim this out. Oh, yeah. Everybody knows it's like nothing but an eye pussy underneath that patch. Just barely covering that eye gas.

Joe Mande
Well, that's the thing is this becomes a sort of love triangle where Gwyneth Paltrow gets kind of jealous of Angelina Jolie for some kind of tryst that they clearly had in Nanjing. And it's like, well, is that how she lost her eye? Like, is there, like, some kind of, like, sexual mishap? Like, they don't explain it. All we know is that they, like, were in Nanjing.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. So impressed you remembered Nanjing. First of all, thank you for three. Months of Jude Law's relationship with Gwyneth Paltrow. He was cheating on her with Angelina Jolie.

But then Gwyneth Paltrow did something super psycho, too, which is, like, sabotage his plane. She downed his plane, so he became, like, a PoW, because so there's blame on both sides here. Now, when he doesn't, like, help her get down the plane, it just makes her slide down the wing. You're like, I get it. I love the message of this movie is like, this man was a cheating dog, but this woman tried to kill him.

June Diane Raphael
Women, you know? And it's like, wait, wait, wait. So she should be hit. They should both just hit each other.

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You haven't heard about the McCrispy yet? Well, then you probably haven't heard the. Sweet silence after the first crispy bite, either. Go try it for yourself to hear. The best not sound you've ever heard.

Jason Mantzoukas
The dynamite locker scene. Oh, yeah. Oh, that ruled. That ruled very cool. There is a, like, they get trapped in a.

Joe Mande
In a, like, safe, and they turn around and there's a wily, coyote level wall of dynamite. Like, as if it just got mailed from Acme itself. Even did that effect of, like, boxes of dynamite and then it, like, tilted up to see it, that it went on forever. Because, by the way, even two boxes of dynamite would kill them. Fine.

Jason Mantzoukas
You don't even need 1535 boxes of dynamite. They're dead. But no. Yeah. That was so stupid.

The movie is stupid. Like, and I don't want to be like, oh, the CGI sucks. Take that all out of the equation. Let's just go. Plot.

Tawny Newsome
Yeah, the thing is, like, if they wanted to do an Indiana. Like, Indiana Jones is capable. You know what I mean? Like, he is an adventurer, an archaeologist. We understand his profession.

Yes. And.

Jason Mantzoukas
He'S not a sky captain. Jude. Yeah. Jude Law in this movie is like, what if a cartoon character came to life and was the star of the movie? You know what I mean?

Tawny Newsome
Like, it's that, like, he. Well, I would argue his plane is more interesting than him. His plane does more cool things than Jude Law does. Jude Law doesn't have any power. The villain is more interesting than Jude Law is, and he died 20 years ago.

Jason Mantzoukas
Well, I don't. What's better than a villain that is already deceased? What are we doing? To what end? Doing?

Tawny Newsome
Why is this movie. Why does this happen to us? The other crime? Can we sue? If so, who?

Tell me. I would like to sue them for the fact that I had to watch this movie.

Jason Mantzoukas
You know, I was thinking about this. So the whole thing. The whole thing about this movie was there was a short, a six minute short that looked just like the film and that. Wait, this movie was six minutes long? Yes.

Tawny Newsome
This felt like an hour and a half. Why didn't you let us watch that one? I know we should. It was somewhere between six minutes and 32 days. So this is, by the way, like, I'm just gonna.

I'm thrust away during this movie. So this is like, this movie is. My Jacob's ladder scenario.

That's what I guess. That's what I assume I deserve. So, basically, like, you look at this movie, the short film, it looks just like, you know, it looks just like the movie. And they do the whole thing in six minutes. Cool.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, right? And so someone said, let's make that a movie. And I thought, oh, this is like the pixels of net. It's proto pixels. Yeah.

Right? Because people saw pixels. Like, that's really cool. Like, let's make it a movie. No, let's not.

Tawny Newsome
Wait. Was pixels a short? Yeah, like a really cool looking short. And they're like, let's now have, like, Josh gad. Fuck Pac man.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, I mean, that became Q Bert. I believe Q Bert yeah, you're right. Sorry, Pac man. I only say that because, like, Q Bert's, like, begging for it.

Q Bert also has a really cool eyebrow over it. His nose. Yeah. No, it's a bizarre thing. You feel like people got so excited about this technology that they just forgot to ask every other question you would ask on any other movie.

June Diane Raphael
Why are there killer robots? But Giovanni Ribisi still has to use a paper compass? What is the technology world that both can exist? And why do you need maps? The ground you're flying over is a map.

Joe Mande
They're flying over the earth. And it's like, oh, well, it says right there, it's the East China Sea. I guess we're going in the right direction. There are so many scenes where they're just, like, in the back, like, figuring it out. You know what I'm like, shouldn't somebody be flying?

Tawny Newsome
Shouldn't something be happening? I don't know. There's a scene that actually, you can tell that I was high when I was watching it because I stopped the movie because it didn't make sense in my head. But, like, Gwyneth Paltrow is jealous. She's just a jealous woman for about, I would say, 35 minutes of the.

June Diane Raphael
Movie when she does some of her classic harrumphs. Yes. So many harrumps. They get to, like, the skull island or wherever the fuck they are. Yes.

Tawny Newsome
His monster. They park their seaplane. She's still fuming, assuming that, you know, that Jude law wants to fuck that pirate or whatever. And then she gets out of the plane, and then she looks down, and his. The number on the tail of his airplane is like, lower case h, eleven, lowercase o, lowercase d, I believe.

Joe Mande
And then she looks down, and the reflection in the water, when she looks down, it says the word holly. Like her. Holly her name. And then she smiles because she's like, oh, he loves me. That's a sign that he named his plane that.

So if in the water it's reflected, that's my name. And then I. But I was like, that can't. That's not. It's not.

Because then I, like, wrote it out. I paused the movie and wrote down ho eleven. And.

And it spells y'lap. So that means that for him to prove that he loves her secretly, even subconsciously, she would have needed to see the water reflection and then look at that in a mirror.

That's true. I should earn money for that. Like, I should be paid for, like, fuck you. I can't believe I put that much mental energy to find a hole that's. Like an in a movie quest.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, but that's that. I should go to the Harvard of fuck this movie. But this is like the anger that this movie. But that's the anger level that you get with this movie. Because it's like, why?

Well, it is. It's. It's. It's infuriating to you. It's.

It's like. Or at least to me, it was like it could just. I don't know. It could have been better. It could have been simpler.

It could have been a million things. But it's like, it just gets worse and worse and worse. Like, I'm okay for that first sequence. I thought, all right, this is actually not that bad. And then it just like, no, it is, and it will get worse.

We will show you. Like, we will make you upset. You mean the first six minutes, you're like, yeah, can't wait to read this movie. Yeah. Like, I was like, all right, cool.

Robots in the street. I'm down. I'll watch this. Gwyneth Paltrow, I understand why you're not running away from these robots, but you're just standing under toe. At any given point, you have a million buildings to run into.

It's fine. I do like that everyone is slightly looking at the wrong eye line the whole time. Everyone's kind of looking at the different thing. How tall are these robots? It keeps it exciting.

June Diane Raphael
I also love the underwater explosions. That made me really extremely angry. Cause I was like, okay, maybe this movie isn't for me. Maybe it's just for Sci-Fi people who are willing to take some liquid. But Sci-Fi people know that you cannot have fire sustained underwater.

And they have, you know, they're flying or they're swimming or whatever the fuck these sub planes do. And when they hit a rock, suddenly there's, like a big explosion as though it's out in space. Fire doesn't work underwater. It made me so mad for people that are smarter than me that know why fire doesn't work underwater. Well, at least Gwyneth Paltrow's character at the end here also gets a little bit like she finally, you know, she finally wins because she gets that great shot.

Joe Mande
Well, throughout the movie, she's about to take a picture. She's about to get a picture of, like, a dragon. And she's like, no, I can't. I only have two pictures. Use it on the dragon.

Jason Mantzoukas
I would use it on the dragon. I would use it on the dragon or the future. Noah's arc. Yeah. Use it once.

June Diane Raphael
Or the Lucy Arnaz whatchamacallit. Like, you know, machine. Conveyor belt. You know what I'm trying to say? Conveyor belt.

Thank you. I call that a Lucy Arnese. I feel you. I do too. This is a perfect.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's era appropriate for the movie. Lucy Arnaz is a great. She's not often referred to as Lucy Arnaz.

Uh. It'S good. Thank you for referring to her as Lucy Arnaz. You're welcome. You guys.

Tawny Newsome
Desi's wife, but, like, so so junior's mom of Desi. So. But you see this. This person who's been maligned, and she's kind of been treated badly the entire movie. She has her final shot.

Jason Mantzoukas
She's gonna take it of this great thing, and then she's like, no, I'm gonna take it as sky captain. And then she takes it, and then he goes, lens cap's on. And that's how the movie ends. Who just gasped? Somebody in the audience just gasped, like, oh, no, don't gasp for Gwyneth Paltrow's camerawork in this terrible movie.

June Diane Raphael
Yeah. Did you gasp because we spoiled this trash film for you? Oh, no. You mean she took it. Oh, no.

Joe Mande
By the way, it's funny. Cause she's stupid. Well, that's like, I was like, you don't give her anything. Anything. No.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, you don't go like, oh, at least you got that picture. Nope, nope. No. She got one thing. She got punched in the face.

June Diane Raphael
This character, whose driving force has been what pictures are good, gets punched in the face, gets a man who doesn't even love her because he. She can't reflection reverse spell her name right? Then at the end, she takes a picture of the inside of a lens cap, and he just. The last word of the film is lens cap. It's like the.

It's like, topic. You know, it's just. Well, it's like the aristocrats or something. That's. It's just like, lens cap.

Jason Mantzoukas
Lens cap. So sky captain is the least compelling character of all the heroes. Yes. Everybody should be into the scientist or Dex or anybody. Sky captain is like a moron who just flies.

Well, they both are. She gives up her picture for a picture of him. She could take a picture of him any fucking day of the week. Like. But, like, she took a picture of.

June Diane Raphael
The ground at one point. Yeah. And he laughed at her face and called her stupid. Can I say something? Can I.

Tawny Newsome
This is what I'm gonna say. I think Totenkopf is right. Let's fucking blow up this world. Let's start fresh. So, tiny animals.

Joe Mande
I agree with you. I was thinking the same thing. Cause it was like, just disarm the part where the world explodes. Like, go ahead, fucking make a new life with small elephants or whatever. Like, who cares?

Tawny Newsome
You're great. Let's do it. Tiny animals, human beings, whip us full of Kong. I get it. Thanos was right.

Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, my goodness. Well, let's see what you have to say. Audience, we're gonna come out here for another chance of correction and omission. All right, you, sir. Come over here.

Come down. Come out to the aisles if you're deep in the aisles, so I can get to you. All right, sir, your title for this film and your question. Sky captain, the best movie ever fucking made. All right, great.

This is the director of Sky Captain, the World tomorrow. And your question, two observations. When. Oh, what's her name? Gwyneth Paltrow.

Joe Mande
When she gets off the phone, in the phone booth, she runs away to an alley, away from the robots, and a cop says, stop. Come back. Yes. And then. Oh, what was my other one?

Oh, yeah. So, sky captain is known for having milk of magnesia, which is supposed to settle your stomach, but also it relieves constipation. So for a 19 hours plane trip from New York City to Nepal, using modern day speeds and technology, he would be shitting himself so hard the entire time. I love that. That guy just was like.

I was going to say that. Never mind. That was great. Yeah. So, by the way, if your question is based on milk of magnesia is.

Tawny Newsome
And diarrhea, you can sit down. You got it. Wow. The entire audience just sat. Oh, yeah.

No. What a lot of people don't realize is that this movie is scat porn. All right, sir. Your title of the film and your question. I actually have a tagline.

Jason Mantzoukas
Okay, great. The sky's the limit. But not for my patience. Great. We've pointed.

And you're a doctor in this scenario. Right?

June Diane Raphael
Good job, Paul. Solid. We've pointed out that Polly Perkins is not very smart yet. She knows Morse code, and she can read German inexplicably. To hit an eject button of the rocket where it collapses out from underneath everything, well, we don't know that.

Joe Mande
It might just be a german word that if you look hard enough, it turns into English. It's a magic eye, by the way. It's like, that was the dumbest magic eye painting. If you look at it hard enough. That was the dumbest thing, too.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's like, do we, the audience, not like. I mean, why couldn't you just communicate that without the word changing into eject? Oh, that was lame. I do want to know that milk of magnesia was clearly real. Everything in this movie was smoke and mirrors and bullshit and finger painting.

June Diane Raphael
But that milk of magnesia turned my stomach in a way that only true. Sloggy, milky, fucking stomach chicken. Just a viscous liquid. Well, you imagine the prop master probably spent the most time on it. Cause he had, like, four things to get.

Jason Mantzoukas
Map, compass, milk of magnesia, eyepatch.

All right, your name of the film and your question. Fuzzy robots and the a list celebrities. Nice. I was curious if anyone else noticed that lobotomized Gwyneth Paltrow kept falling. And if that brought you any joy.

Tawny Newsome
Then it brought me, you know, it makes her relatable. Anything that knocks her off, her too. Dumb to walk, I loved. I noticed that, too. And I loved that when she fell, her arms always went up in a way that was like, I'm falling, but I'm also a beautiful bird.

I'm falling. But maybe I'm about to take off.

Jason Mantzoukas
Your title and your question. My title is a sky captain in the world of gaslighting. And my question is if anyone can explain the assassin robot lady. Yes, Bei ling plays the assassin robot lady. Who?

Tawny Newsome
Bei ling from crank two. Oh, of course. I didn't realize that's who it was. Yeah, she does slow motion parkour, which. Is also just climbing.

Joe Mande
Yeah, but like in a very. Like, as if she's floating. She also. I thought she was a witch or a ghost when I first saw. Saw her.

Jason Mantzoukas
Cause the movie does have a lot of crazy things in it, but. Cause she does, like, kind of fly or I guess that's slow motion parkour. But I don't know. She is a robot. She's a robot.

Joe Mande
I thought that I sort of concluded that she had absorbed Lawrence Olivier's consciousness.

Jason Mantzoukas
Well, because they say late. They. They say when his max headroom head goes away and they see his dead body, they were like, he's become this spaceship. It's the wires and the. You mean when they're all in the wizards throne room?

June Diane Raphael
Yeah, it's like Dorothy and the scarecrow that he. Russell and all them, like, standing head. Like he. What was that Johnny Depp movie you like? He had, like.

Joe Mande
Yeah, he, like, put uploaded his transcendence. Sorry, sorry. Transcendence. This is a tangent. I have a low score on Uber because I saw transcendence and then got into a fight with my Uber driver who liked transcendence.

I was like, are you fucking dumb? That movie's terrible. And then he was like, I'm not driving you. And he pulled me over. What?

It was crazy. It was truly crazy. And how did you get into transcendence with the Uber driver? Why are you talking to your Uber driver? What's wrong?

Tawny Newsome
Are you lonely? I. No, I. Well, yes, I went to transcendence by myself. I had eaten an edible, and then I called an Uber, and I was just, like, equally mad about that movie.

Joe Mande
And then the guy was like, you see a movie? And I was like, yeah, fucking sucked. And he was like, well, what is it? Transcendence? Oh, I like that movie.

And then for, like. I mean, it's on me for, like, three minutes. I was like, are you dumb? And then I, like, listed all the reasons why transcendence was bad. And then he was like, very mad.

Tawny Newsome
I love that you didn't wait until you got home. No, like, the move is wait till you get home, open the door, and be like, hey, just for the record, you're a moron. Slam. Yeah, well, then he would have known where you lived, so you probably were better off being dropped off on the side of the road. Cow.

Joe Mande
Yeah. All right. Was it worth it? I can't use Uber now, so I guess I'm like, an activist or whatever.

Jason Mantzoukas
Okay, sir, your title and your question. Title is sky captain and the briefcase of exposition. And my question is, where in the hell is his base? It's in some, like, weird alpine island that's a ten minute drive from Manhattan. It's in White Plains.

Yeah. Chappaqua, I think. Right. SUNY new Paltz. Yeah.

That is an odd thing. And he's. I mean, maybe I'm being too weird. Like, the fact that he is british, right. But they don't, like, is he a part of, like, a Un force?

Is he. I don't know. I have questions about sky captains. I do. Is he british?

June Diane Raphael
Or does he just talk through a permanent smirk? By the way, he could be british or also have a 1940s accent, too. That's another thing. Transatlantic. Yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
Sir, your title. Your question title is milk, milk, lemonade around the corner. This film.

Tawny Newsome
I like it. Cause it's a piece of shit. My question is. Well, it's not really a question when they're showing, like, all the showing all the, like, statement. Everyone in, like, all the different countries and stuff.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. They show a japanese newspaper and you can see Godzilla fighting. Yes. The sentinel things. So, like, how is that not a big story?

Joe Mande
Like, Godzilla exists? Right? I have an update for you. That's a question, but is a question. I did notice similarly, there's a scene in New York when the robots are happening where King Kong is on.

You can see King Kong. So it's like. Well, I mean, I feel like Paulie should be also writing about that. That's a big news story too, that King Kong is also in New York. So unaware of the events in the world.

Jason Mantzoukas
It literally is a movie where they were like, we could do anything in cg. And they're like. And we will. Like, they're like. They're like.

Tawny Newsome
With. With reckless abandon. Small elephants, godzilla, dinosaurs, flying planes, robot planes, airship. It's like. It's too much shit.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's like. It's like the equivalent of Spencer's gifts. You know? It's like, I got it. All right, well, because what happens when.

Joe Mande
You drink too much milk of magnesia? Yeah, yeah. Except no edible underwear, which is what they used to have at Spencer's gifts when I was a kid. Your title of the movie and your question. So my title is sky captain and the world of PS two graphics.

And my question is, can any New York beat cop call in sky captain? Cause it seems like just some random patrolman gets on the horn and calls in, like, heavy air support again. Yes. Yeah. To answer your question, yes.

June Diane Raphael
He's also available for birthday parties, but not bar mitzvahs.

Jason Mantzoukas
All right, sir, your title, your question. Sky captain and the misogynist of today. Ooh, topical. Time zone. Time is up.

Joe Mande
So when they're in Shangri La and they interview the sole survivor of the experiments, and they get the info and they say, what can we do for you? And he leans out and he says, kill me. And they just do the cut. Are we supposed to assume that Jude law is an angel of death and kills that guy? He killed that cloud faced man.

June Diane Raphael
That man had a face made of clouds. Yeah, I think he would have to. He's a. He agreed. That made me so happy.

Joe Mande
There's a writer on good place named Dylan Morgan who always pitches that inanimate objects and mutant beings gain sentience and then say the words kill me. And so, like, I rewound that and just sent him that scene. Cause I was like, this is your favorite movie. This is what you always pitch. It's happened.

This is real. The first sketch show I ever did at UCB in 1999 in New York. Dylan Morgan wrote, okay, we all have resumes. I once worked at a Hollywood video I make and I watched Empire Records every day. Oh, yeah.

Tawny Newsome
Yeah. Dylan wrote that. Fuck, I love Dylan. Your title and your question. Pressure's on.

Joe Mande
My title is, any reason to punch Gwyneth Paltrow? My question is, you mentioned that the actors and the scenery never match up. And the most obvious example of that to me was when they're having a very intense conversation near the beginning of the movie with the wizard of Oz playing in the background, loudly standing, talking. And it's in a theater where people are trying to watch a move, and. They all just Radio City Music hall, as a matter of fact, stand up.

And walk out like there wasn't a loud conversation right in front of them in the middle of the movie. They're in the top of the balcony blocking seemingly everyone's view because the movie is packed. It's not an empty theater. Yeah, that is an odd. I noticed that too.

Jason Mantzoukas
Again, one of the problems of not having extras there the day of the shoot and also not thinking about anything that you make in the movie. All right, let's go through speed round question. I was just a little confused how this movie fits into history because they referenced World War one, which means World War two must have happened. So I just want, or is happening. So I just want to know, why isn't Sky Captain fighting Hitler?

June Diane Raphael
He's too good. He's too good for Hitler. Like, save him for the robot. Maybe in this future, in this future past, Hitler was a good guy and, you know, switched it around. Maybe America was sheer.

Tawny Newsome
You just said Hitler is a good guy.

I just want to make sure we got the. I said, in the future past, maybe. Hitler a good guy. Did we get it clean? Can you say it again?

June Diane Raphael
Can we just, can we get it clean? Can somebody just pull that audio and make a theme song out of it? It's a ring test, and that should. Be a guy right now. All right, Hitler is a good guy.

Tawny Newsome
Wow, interesting. Okay. Never knew that's where we were. Got it. My guy.

June Diane Raphael
My title is sky captain. Just look it up on wikipedia and it's more of a comment. But Reddit has a strange love for this movie, and if you're a fan, the top three recommendations are Sucker Punch, the shadow, and the phantom. Whoa, whoa. Those are just three things that happened to Gwyneth Paltrow in this movie.

Jason Mantzoukas
We basically, I guess Reddit, that is three films that we have done on this show. So that Reddit community not listening, not listeners of this show at all. Some interesting facts about this movie. It has 71% on Rotten Tomatoes. How?

Really? Roger Ebert gave it four stars. It came out in 2021. So in 2004, the number three movies were Shrek two, Spider man two, and the passion of the Christ. Scores.

June Diane Raphael
All done by smash mouth.

Tawny Newsome
Hey, now you're God. Son of God. You're on the cross. Yeah. Hey, now you're godson.

You're the chosen one. Bleed, bleed.

Yeah. Because the. All that blood is wine. Okay, so ranked 70. All the blood is wine.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. All the blood is wine. And the crown is thorns.

Ranked. It came in 77th of all the movies made in 2004. And I will just say again, I. Hope there were only 77 movies made in 2004. Yeah, well, I can't find anything that we've done in the show that it's beat, but I'll say, like, the CGI in Spider man two is pretty good.

Like, so again, this is not a movie that is like, wow. It was mind blowing how they were able to do that. They were doing it successfully. Can I just tell you my quickly, my favorite piece of trivia about this movie is that the kiss where Gwyneth Paltrow gets punched into unconsciousness was nominated for best kiss at the MTV movie. Whoa.

Did not know that. Did not. Lost to the kiss in the notebook. Which was also a great kiss. Yeah.

Tawny Newsome
Just because she never remembers it. So.

June Diane Raphael
So both. Both of these women, she's got that Alzheimer's. Both of these women got kissed but. Didn'T get to remember it into oblivion. The budget of this movie was $70 million worth every penny.

Jason Mantzoukas
And opening weekend, it cracked in with 15.5. It made a total here in America of 37 and then a worldwide finishing gross of 57.9. That's. I'm actually shocked that it made that much. I think because of the stars they suckered him in.

And here's some of the tagline. Anyone want to guess at a tagline of the movie? How about sky captain? The world of tomorrow? Why not?

Tawny Newsome
It's a movie. Question mark. This one is the world will tremble this September. No, 11th, 2018. Yeah, it was just a.

Joe Mande
It was just a bad day to release the movie. When this movie came out, I liked that. Three years later, they were like, we can use this for marketing. You guys didn't like my September 11 joke? Okay, cool.

Tawny Newsome
Got it. Message received.

Jason Mantzoukas
I was once at some MTV event, and Jamie Foxx was performing and his album was coming out on September 11. He was like, jamie Foxx, y'all. 911, y'all. Jamie Foxx, y'all. 911, y'all.

Jamie Foxx, y'all. Any good saying that. Not realizing that that's probably not what you want to be yelling on a stage. Wow. Only a couple years later.

Oof. That was. Remember that? 911, y'all.

June Diane Raphael
I do want that ringtone, though. Jimmy Fox, y'all. 911, y'all. And then the other tagline, sign it. To Jamie Foxx when he calls.

Jason Mantzoukas
Without warning, without mercy. That's another tagline of this movie. Without warning, without mercy. That is terrifying. That's not some shit Truman said.

I mean, it doesn't reek of like, oh, that sounds fun. Okay. Casey Affleck was supposed to play Dex. That's interesting. A little side note there.

Joe Mande
And then the actor or someone's dog, they named Casey Affleck as a joke.

Jason Mantzoukas
I will say.

Tawny Newsome
It'S a Rottweiler named K the Affleck.

Jason Mantzoukas
All right. So obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions. Was it great or was it shit? I just can't make sense of it.

But maybe if some Internet dick tells me how to think, I can make my pick second opinions. Bonkers. Yeah. Say your name. One more.

Joe Mande
Patrick. Give it up for Patrick. Patrick is walking away. Great work, Patrick. Patrick is walking away with an IMAX poster, a mini IMax poster of Star wars the Last Jedi from our friends at IMAX.

Jason Mantzoukas
Mini posters for very big movies. I'm just saying, if you're in a band, why not write a second opinion song, come up here and promote it at the pod. I'm looking at you, Brian, from Silver sun. Pickups in the audience.

All right, here we go. So a lot of positive reviews of this movie. A lot of positive reviews here. And they all have a couple of, like, a couple of themes. We'll get into them here.

So. Okay, this one is by Gary. And it just said, gary. It's all in caps. And it says, I had this movie years ago on videotape, but who even has a videotape player these days?

I love to watch movies while I eat my lunch during the week on my Kindle fire. And I could hardly remember watching this film, so I snagged it using my Amazon prime account. This film was one of the first to make use of green screen technology, and I really enjoyed it while eating my italian sandwich, to which I am addicted. This film is worth the download if you like the forties and giant flying robots and bat shaped wing flapping airplanes and excitement. Five stars.

This movie looked great. And I like the retro feel.

Joe Mande
It's like a call for help. You know what I mean? It's like the all caps really puts it over the edge. Every one of the five star second opinions doubles as a suicide note. But, like, I've never heard so many brands name checked in a suicide note.

June Diane Raphael
It's like my Amazon Kindle, my Amazon prime account, my fire, et cetera. My italian sandwich from. Where was that italian sandwich from firehouse subs, I hope. Signed Jeff Bezos. I mean, Gary.

Jason Mantzoukas
Jeff Bezos does this thing, apparently, which I thought I heard read this thing the other day. Like, he was saying that there's a lot of complaints about customer service and they don't pick up early enough. And so he had this big board meeting where they're like, no, no, customer service picks up right away. And he called customer service, and everyone waited while he got through to customer service. And it was like four minutes.

And the way that people described the meeting was, it was the most uncomfortable time. Just like, watching it just like, him on hold music and him just staring at everybody. And then when they go. And I was like, may I help you? He was like, no.

Click. And he was like, just to prove. His point, but it was like a button. He pressed that, like, a cleaver went down and killed that person. They were immediately replaced by a robot.

This one is titled better than Disney princesses.

And I would pronounce a name, but I can't. It says, this has been my son's favorite movie from ages three to seven. It's awesome. My only complaint is it's impossible to find themed merchandise to decorate his room. Five stars.

Joe Mande
Wow. Wait, wait, wait. So the title is better than Disney Princess? What is he implying? That it's that his son, he doesn't want to buy his son Disney princess stuffer?

Jason Mantzoukas
I would say that there's such a surplus of Disney princess merchandise to decorate bedrooms with. He's like, better than Disney Princess walk. Is the sky captain Isle? Like, why I get all this fucking frozen shit? Why can't I get sky Captain pajamas?

Tawny Newsome
Real question, my son is, can't I? My kid loves Lawrence Olivier and only wants a sky cap. Where the fuck can I buy child sized Tesla coils for my son's bedroom? Instead, he's just. Instead he's just swimming in candlestick from beauty and the beast bed sheets.

June Diane Raphael
He's so mad. Oh, my gosh. Is that map on your wall from sky captain?

Jason Mantzoukas
I love your. But they do have a lot of bathroom theming. Milk of magnesia you can get. It's really great. Oh, and you know, that like tourism to Nepal just skyrocketed after this movie.

Those are some solid reviews, and they really do. They really go show you everything. Any final thoughts? Any final thoughts? Anything we didn't cover?

Tawny Newsome
I did not care for this. I wish I hadn't seen it. I. I hate this movie.

Joe, you say I wrote so few notes. It's like a real marker of a really terrible movie. When I look at the notes and I'm like, oh, I barely wrote anything because it held my attention so little. You know, it was such a difficult watch that I had to den of thieves myself afterwards just to be like, oh, right, this is what a great movie is, man. I wrote a lot of shit down.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah, I mean, I wrote a lot, but. Joe, you say you have a high tolerance for these movies. Yeah. And where does it fall on? Like, what is a movie?

Just because I'm curious? Like, that was the hardest for you to get through, or are you past that? I can pretty much endure any. This was hard. I actually, like, I like, walked my dogs and stuff and like, yeah, no, it was.

Joe Mande
This took all day. Okay. Yeah, it took me all night to watch it. Yeah, yeah. And it was the only movie that I've watched in recent memory where I was watching it, giving it attention and then realizing like ten minutes later, oh, I've checked out.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, and I. But I'm still watching. It's like sometimes when you're reading a book and you start thinking about something, but you keep on flipping pages like that. I was like, oh, gotta go. I rewound it a few times.

I reround when cold nipples hard, cuz I was like, what's happening? What did he say? Did I miss it? Like, yeah, yeah, it really. I guess also trying to make sense of it.

Yeah, it was hard, but. Anything else you want to add? Anything. Tawny, what about you? I guess, yeah, I was tuning out too.

June Diane Raphael
Like within the first seven minutes, there have been two characters that are old, white, bespectacled men with thick accents. And I'm just like, I'm a limited person, I cannot keep track. All these men look alike to me and I can't. It was like, one doc Brown, two doc Brown, you know, and like, it just, it made me instantly like, I don't care, I don't care. I was like, I don't care about their journey.

I don't want to know what they're going through. The number of civilian casualties in this movie must be in the tens of thousands. Truly, you know, like between the attack on Manhattan between the bombing, then the bird planes that attack, they kill a ton of people. There's like a. And then according to those newspaper articles, it was also Tokyo and Berlin.

Tawny Newsome
Yeah, this could be like a thing. Thanos level event. But Godzilla, Godzilla seems to be working on the side of good. Like Hitler, right? Yeah, yeah, he's aligned.

Godzilla and King Kong are both pretty cool, I guess. Yeah, yeah. You know what? This movie kind of proves that, like, just cause you like, you really like movies doesn't mean you have to make one. Like, this whole movie was like proof.

Joe Mande
Like, I like. I like movies. Look, here's wizard of Oz. Here's King Kong. It's like you just watch them.

Just don't. Or sometimes. How about sometimes a short is enough. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah, you did it, man.

Tawny Newsome
Congrats. Congratulations. Great. Six minutes. That's your limit as an artist.

Joe Mande
Yes, it's fine. Six minutes, you know, that's pretty great, you know.

Jason Mantzoukas
So we all agree that at six minutes, we're all on board with this movie? Sure, sure. This movie felt like 6 hours. Yeah. This movie felt like a mini series.

Joe Mande
I've been told six minutes is fine, so let's just keep it. I was told it's six minutes until Dougie Fresh is on.

June Diane Raphael
Who remembers Dougie Fresh? Come on. He was one of those guys with Tom Sawyer. And so I am making all 1970s references. I said Nipsey Russell earlier, like a real young, cool kid.

Tawny Newsome
We're doing great. I thought you said Nipsey Hussle. I thought you were cool. So we're going down the line and just saying that none of us recommend that you watch this. And we apologize if you did.

I'm gonna be honest. If you watch this movie for this episode, I'm sorry. Yeah, fair warning. Like, you should not have. And I wish I could have been able to tell you ahead of time.

Jason Mantzoukas
Paul, we didn't know. Paul, you did apologize in your email to me booking me, you said, I'm so sorry for this one. Yeah, yeah. Cuz I was like, I had already seen it at that point and they knew what you were in store for. How dare you?

I know it was a tough one. I feel bad. I feel bad doing it. But we got this great piece of podcast history now in the books. Locked and loaded.

Locked and loaded. We did it. And by the way, content, by the. Way, we just found out this episode got a casty. Yes, Casty won of the prestigious podcasting awards.

It's one of the best. You know, and.

Tawny Newsome
And here's Joe Rogan to give it to us, ladies and gentlemen. All right, so he's actually in the deprivation tank as he's giving us. He's gonna kiss you and then punch. You in the face.

Jason Mantzoukas
All right, so, tani, what do you wanna plug? What do you wanna talk about? Yeah, thank you for mentioning. I'm the new co host for yo. Is this racist?

June Diane Raphael
So if you have racism questions but you also want to laugh, that's a bad tagline. But listen to that, then. I have a new podcast coming out on Stitcher Premium with my co host, Alex Kleiner. It's called the super group. If you like music and comedy, but not necessarily together, please listen to that.

And if. Yeah, if you run a television network, fucking put me on it, because I'm sick of just doing podcasts.

Jason Mantzoukas
Joe, what do you got? You can watch my Netflix special. You can listen to it. You can watch the good place, a show. I write for one of the best shows on tv.

Joe Mande
Oh, this would be great, actually, for this show. I feel like your fan base could help me with this. My Wikipedia page is being held hostage by a lunatic. So if you want to correct some of those errors. I don't know who it is.

It might be that Uber driver, actually. But what you are saying. Because we have wreaked havoc with people's Wikipedia. Our fans have. You want us to do that to you?

Jason Mantzoukas
But no, we want to free his page. His page is being held hostage. You can see it. Look. On Wikipedia.

Being held hostage. I'm just saying, like. I'm saying do the opposite. You're saying do a good thing? I'm saying be altruistic.

Tawny Newsome
Okay, good, good. Unless you didn't like my jokes, then, yeah, go crazy. I don't know. No, no, no. You don't want to get them back in there.

Yeah, free. Yeah, we need to free Joe from this cave of it. Or just open it up. You can wreak havoc, just like. I just want this one person to not have so much control.

Joe Mande
So fucking go nuts. Just open up the world a little. Stellar skateboard, this. Yeah, I just. I resent that one person has control over what?

June Diane Raphael
Wait, okay, well, while we're getting the fans to do shit for us, I recently discovered I have a Wikifeet page. Like, fuck that entirely, first of all. But secondly, like, one of the pictures is of my chinese friend Jessica. Can we talk to the feet people community about how not all brown people look alike? Well, we're laying it down.

Jason Mantzoukas
We're laying it down. Yes. Wikifeet does not have the highest level of like, what's Wikifeet? Like? You don't know.

Tawny Newsome
But for those who may not know. Oh, here we go. Wikifeet. Ew. I don't like feet.

Jason Mantzoukas
Feet of the day. They rank celebrities and lowly podcasters feet. That reminds me, I want a wikifeet page. So if you can. Jason, what do you want to promote?

Tawny Newsome
Oh, nothing. No, no. I don't want to promote anything. Where are we right now? We're general monthly.

Where are we, do you think? May June? May June. Yeah, yeah, no, I'm good. 911.

Joe Mande
Jamie Foxx, 911. 911. I will promote 911. You can also follow us. We have a brand new website@hdtgminfo.com, so it's our initials.

Jason Mantzoukas
How did this get made? Info.com. And that has all of our tour dates, the movies that are playing when we are doing those tour dates, ticket information, frequently asked questions, all that stuff in one space. Hdtgminfo.com. And also check out a new podcast that I'm doing with Amy Nicholson from the canon called Unspooled, where we watch good movies, the converse of this show.

We're gonna watch the top 100 movies on the AFI list. And it's been super fun because those movies are enjoyable in so many ways. Good acting, good set design, everything. And it actually makes this show more painful. So I feel like I'm going deeper.

I'm testing myself on a level that I didn't even know existed anymore. It's like french connection, then sky captain. And it battles out in my soul. So you can subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. That is all.

A big thank you to Avril Halley for pulling these clips because she had to watch the movie multiple times to pull these clips. Nate Kiley, who did all of our research, everybody here at Largo, thank you so much for coming out. We'll give you a chance to take a picture in 1 second. Bye bye, everybody. Good night.

Paul Scheer
At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback. That took you cross country and back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Amica auto insurance. Amica empathy is our best policy.

For just $4, you can get two egg and cheese biscuits, a jack in the box with a warm buttermilk biscuit. Melty american cheese, and a freshly cracked egg. You wonder, where's this been all my life?

Jason Mantzoukas
You wonder, where's this been all my life?

Paul Scheer
You wonder, where's this been all my life?

Matinee Monday: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow LIVE!

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