Matinee Monday: Rhinestone LIVE! (w/ Matt Jones)

Speaker A
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Speaker B
We're gonna have a good time celebrating failure, not just being a hater. Cause, you know, you wonder, how did this remain? Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question. Hello, people of earth.

Speaker A
Hello, people of Los Angeles.

We are live here at Largo in Los Angeles with an amazing crowd, an electric crowd for a night that we won't soon forget. Together. Finally, the movie that everyone wanted. Stallone, Dolly Parton, musical comedy. It happened.

And we're gonna talk about Rhinestone tonight. But to help me do it, I am joined by my co host. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas, June Diane Rayville, and a very special guest tonight, helping us talk about all things Ryan. So please welcome Matt Jones.

All right. Oh, boy. Wow. Rhinestone, 111 minutes. You know, it was interesting watching the trailer.

Speaker C
Cause that's a very short trailer. Like, that's. I feel like they genuinely couldn't cut together the story. Like, it didn't go together in trailer form. It didn't go together in full length feature form either.

Speaker A
It's a problem when you can't make a trailer out of the. It's basically my boss. I've been trying. I've been trying to cut a bunch of scenes together. It really doesn't make sense, though.

I feel like the head of Paramount was like, fuck it. We can't let people know that Stallone sings. Make him punch a bunch of people. He'll punch hits. But meanwhile, one of the points in the movie is that he's never allowed to punch someone.

Speaker B
But it's in the trailer. Cause he's rocky. Well, now, I will say there's a little known fact about Dolly Parton that you may notice. Yes, go ahead. She has huge boobs.

I mean, ridiculously big boobs. Her boobs. Her boobs have boobs. You bring this up and I didn't notice it.

Speaker A
Just to make sure we're all clear, the premise of the movie is Dolly Parton's go over. It. Bets her body. Essentially. She basically says, you can fuck me if I don't win this bet.

Speaker B
No, honestly, I actually rewatched this part. Cause it wasn't totally clear. I was like, wait, what the fuck was the bet? Yeah, she wants. Go ahead, man.

Yeah. Because at the end of it, he goes, and I get to have sex with you. He just tags it on. Oh, okay. All right.

And she goes, hey, go screw yourself, and walks away. Oh, okay. So she never actually said, I will have sex with you. No shit. See, here's the thing.

Speaker C
The prize for the bet for him, for Frank is his name. Yeah. Freddie. Sorry. For Freddie.

Speaker A
Freddie the most. Unlike Freddie, it's Frank Stallone. Freddie Hugo. Yes. F you.

A few. The prize for him is to have sex with an unwilling participant. So. And she has agreed. She does sign on to the bet, but she's not knowing the contract.

Speaker B
Element of it, though, where if she wins, he nullifies her contract. And if he wins, he gets to have her for five extra years on the contract. And then he throws in the sex. Okay, just pause. Pause for a second.

Speaker C
The contract is to sing at a bar. Yes. A country western bar. I love how he has iron Clay Manhattan. Manhattan's premier cowboy bar.

Speaker B
Again, I love the pitch for this movie. It was like, yeah, yeah. It's like studio 54, but like cowboys. And shit like, this movie hypothesizes something that never was a big thing. Like, you know, like, I know line dancing was big, but, like, people weren't going to hillbilly bars.

Speaker A
And the people that were in the crowd were real New Yorkers. Like, they were not. Like, even. They were not making any effort. Even though there was cowboy paparazzi outside.

Speaker B
Yeah, literally. Literally. The guys. The guys in the crowd were like, hey, why don't you play country music better? Well, this is what's weird, too.

Speaker C
You sort of get this sense from the movie that the country music scene is taking off in New York City like, that. It's not in Nashville. Nashville. Did you suck it? Did you guys live in New York at any point?

Speaker A
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right? Yeah. Well, so New York City.

Speaker B
That's why I moved to New York to become a country music superstar. It's the only place to be. I was like, where can I break into country music? New York City, here I come. It all started.

Speaker C
In fact, I'm gonna leave the place. Yep. Yep. I will say it has a beautiful opening line. Opening.

Speaker B
The opening line to the film is, have a good night, Mister Hugo. It's always a good night when you're rich. That's good writing. Good writing. I want to get to the bottom of Mister Ugo because his whole thing is he doesn't look like an owner of a country bar.

Speaker A
Why go so against type? Why don't you make him, like, a Larry Hagman type of guy? So, dear boy, this country western bar is so successful that he is stupid rich. Oh, yeah. Like, his apartment is common.

It's like a Richie rich apartment. Like, he has, like, a. He has a bedroom like Superman does in Superman two. He has a fireplace that is oddly electric. He lives like Quagmire from the Family guy.

Speaker B
Actually, they did an establishing, and it showed that he lives in Trump Tower. Yes. Oh, that's awesome. This is 1984. So this is like.

Let me. Trump Tower. Yeah. Let me ask this question then. If this club is so successful and he is so rich that this is the country music mecca that it posits the movie posits it is, why does Dolly need to get out of her contract?

She's where it's happening. She has succeeded, I assume. And there was no talk of him, like, producing her album. It really was just to perform nightly. I guess it's as if records don't exist.

Speaker A
It was. And I'm gonna bring back this cowboy paparazzi thing again. When he pulls up in his car, there's a girl in a cowboy costume who takes pictures of him entering his own bar. Which is odd that you would have paparazzi like people. You hire paparazzi yourself.

And then also they take pictures of him in the bar. I just thought that was interesting. Very egomaniac. I want more of those paparazzi pictures of me going into where I live. Freddy Hugo, visiting his own.

Speaker B
Here he is visiting his own club again. Stallone drives a cab in this movie. Like Beauregard drives a cab in the second Muppets movie. It is so scattershot and insane.

Speaker A
Stallone in this movie, in the first scenes that you're seeing him, he's screaming, he's driving like a wild man. Like, he could have a full on personality disorder. He's a crazy individual. Like, top to bottom, t to b. He is out of control.

Speaker B
He needs to be medicated. If it was taking place now, he would be diagnosed, like, ADHD or add his level of, like, he's always jumping around and stuff. Like the scenes where he's like, takes Dolly Parton, he takes her back home to the funeral home where he lives. They go in, he shows her the organ, he starts singing tutti frutti. He realizes there's a funeral.

Ba ba bing ba ba ba ba ba ba b. There's so much manic energy. Maybe he has Robin Williams disease. Maybe that was an inspiration for him. Here's the weird thing about.

Speaker C
Well, there's so. I mean, there's so much to unpack here. But the weird thing about his singing before she even, like, tries to work with him is it's so crazy. But it's. It's like, it's not that he's tone deaf, necessarily, but that's part of it.

It's part of it. But the main thing is, like, it's so. He sings everything so fast, so he. Wants to get it done real quick. Yes, but I've never heard someone be so off rhythm, I guess.

But it's not even that. It's a crazy. Do you think that he thinks I'm such a good singer, I need to really mess it up to not be. No, he's a good comedian. I gotta tell you, one of the worst things in life, if you're a comedian or a funny person in any way, it's being introduced to somebody like, this is my friend.

Speaker B
He's so funny. You sit down with them and you're like, oh. And you're like, there's so much pressure on both of you. Yeah. But then the person, like, goes huge and is sometimes, like, super misogynistic or racist and all this.

You're like, I don't find this person funny at all. Like, I really kind of hate this person. One person thinks they're funny. That person produced rhinestone.

Cause somebody was like, you know, when they called cut on the organ bit, somebody was like, oh, man, sly. That was hilarious. I kind of agree. I kind of agree. I think all of those choices.

Cause there was other things within there that I was like, this is. I'm watching a man who is inherently not funny at all try and be what he thinks is funny. Well, like, there's a scene when he's being. He wrecks his cab. He's being reamed out by the owner of the cab company.

Speaker A
He happens to be wearing a shirt that looks like a fair thing. And he goes, hey, how can you find me for being a taxi driver? I'm dressed like a taxi. It's like. That's like.

He's riffing. Well, there's. Do you notice he's wearing. He's wearing funny t shirts in all of the movies? Well, he's wearing the one that looks like.

Speaker B
Looks like he has all the cameras on. There's one that's a skeleton. There's one that's a skeleton. The tourist one. I'm gonna play a slide share.

That was stallone being like, this is hilarious. Yeah, that. Yeah, these are the cab one. Tuxedo skeleton. That.

Speaker A
Whatever that is. That one. Full rhinestones. That's a lot of different outfits. He definitely was dressing the part of the funny guy.

Speaker C
It's just weird, though, because a little bit later, we do see him singing with his family, an italian song, and he sounds. He sounds great. Super racist. Fine. But he sounds okay.

And then later on, he sounds okay. He sounded all right. I'm sorry. Do you think we're gonna let you get away with that? He sounded okay.

He sounded okay. That's what all Italians sound like. I like that. That's your setup for something else, is that he's saying, well, in that scene. Cause he did not.

I thought he sounded okay. I thought he sounded okay. But then at the end. And. Sorry to jump ahead, but during his, like, finale song, he tries to do it Dolly's way.

And then he starts. He has to do it his way, but his way. Should I play that scene? So you should get the idea of. Wait, do you have the.

Speaker B
Do you have him trying to sing Dolly's way first? I only have one. He kind of goes into his way of doing it. This is really funny. Yeah.

Wait, is this the end? This is the. I mean, we jumped. We're jumping to the end of. This is like when he does his, like, yeah.

Speaker A
Get his crowd just very quickly. The challenge is the movie. What the movie is, is Dolly Parton has to turn Sylvester Stallone into a successful country singer so that he will not get heckled off stage at this gong show talent night at the biggest. At the biggest country western bar in North America, located in Manhattan, in New York, in Midtown. We are going way out of order, but I think there's no suspense that it's gonna happen.

So here we go. All right, so this is also, if. You can tell me what he's saying.

Here we go. I really don't know now what just said after me. Okay.

Speaker B
South is don't hurt tonight.

Speaker A
All right.

Messing up my pillows and cheeks with your power. Now, this is a winning performance. I mean, this is as good as it's gonna get. That is. That is the gold.

But he does like a Sugarhill gang kind of. He's rapping to a beat. That just so you know, like, that's where the movie apex is. So this is his victory moment. I'll say this.

Speaker B
The same year that this movie came out. Yes. Frank Stallone released his first album. Oh, really? Yes.

Just making sure. And he was nominated for Golden Globe for writing music for staying Alive. Frank Stallone was? Yes. So do you think Frank was like, fuck you, Sylvester.

That is my thing. I do. Fuck me. Well, you're the boxer singer, shithead. I was actually talking to someone about this movie just today, and they read an original draft of the Rocky screenplay.

Speaker A
And in the rocky screenplay, there was a subplot where Rocky also wanted to become a singer, and it was cut out of rocky. I have that on high authority. So this has been something that he's been trying to shoehorn in for a long time. Long time. And for you to say Frank Stallone, if there is anything that Frank Stallone is better than say, it's probably singing.

I feel like. I think he got that gene. I also love the fact that this is post Rocky three. So he's a huge star. And they're like, yeah, this script we got.

Speaker B
It's okay. Who do we got that can punch this up?

He's like a big punch up artist in town, Sylvester Stallone. Get him. Well, here's the thing. The guy who wrote the original screenplay, Phil Alden Robinson, who wrote Field of Dreams, wanted to take his name off this movie after Stallone did his extensive changes to the screenplay. He wrote Field of dreams.

He also wrote sneakers, which is a great movie. Great movie. Yeah. And they took the movie from him and gave it to Sebastian. Just alone.

Speaker A
I'll go punch this up. Well, he writes every one of his movies. He's gotta write it. Cause he's a comedian. If you give it to him, he will sing.

I only could. I can only imagine how upset that writer must have been to get back that script. Be like, what have you done? What have you done with it? Cause there is.

Speaker C
It's just. It's also, like, an extremely complicated premise. Like, I feel like if you wanted to work backwards into himself singing and even being a country singer, you could get there. But the way they get there in this movie is just like. It's baffling.

Speaker B
Oh, yeah. It's New York City, the hub of country music. Okay. Okay. Uh oh.

The challenge is you have to teach him to be a country music star. Where you gonna go? Tennessee. So what? But also, the stakes for him are not to become a country music singer.

Nope. But to get his cab back. To get his own cab. His own cab back. Now, what I really took issue with is a couple times in the movie, they keep on saying that Dolly is the reason why he got fired from the taxicab company.

Speaker C
Now, from what we saw, she's a. Woman and she shouldn't have big boobs.

From the scene we just saw, he just was driving Willy nilly and crashed into a sidewalk. He says later on that he was looking at her and that's why he crashed. But then Dolly also says, I got him fired from his taxes. I couldn't. I agree with you.

Speaker B
That is. That made no sense to me. Sure. Dolly. I think Dolly is a punching bag in a lot of ways.

Did you see Steel Magnolia's guys? She stays with these guys that are bad for her. Have you seen straight talk so much. Straight talk is the best Dolly Parton movie ever. If you haven't seen it, it's incredible.

Speaker C
The other weird thing about Dolly and the way she's written in the movie, he's also complaining that she's a nag. No, she's no fun. Basically, there's a big theme that she's not fun. And even her dad is like, he's right. You're kind of a turd.

Speaker B
By the way, who's Richard Farnsworth? Who's one of my favorite character acts. Oh, my God. Amazing. But this movie especially is rule I have about him, where it always feels like he doesn't realize he's in a movie where he's like, oh, yes.

Why are there cameras here? Well, we'll just continue to play pretend we're moving on. We're moving on. Amazing. Were we shooting?

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Take a moment and visit betterhelp.com bonkerstoday to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelph e l P.com bonkers to go back to the plot confusion of it New York hub of country music, Tennessee to learn so how do you teach someone to be a country singer? Show them how to chop wood. Show them how to ride a pony. Show them how to walk.

Show them how to walk. These are things. Singing. Singing would be the first. Well, they have.

Speaker C
Getting by a piano and just banging out some notes. They appear to have to turn him into a cowboy in order for him to successfully be able to sing a country song. Because all cowboys are good singers, which is flawless, apparently. Wow. You know?

Speaker B
Yeah. Okay. What do you think? Inflation has changed in 30 years? This is 30 years ago.

1984. Dude, are we really going to get into an economics discussion right now? Because this movie made 22 million. Well, in 1984, but it was a huge failure because the budget was 28. Which is even crazier.

So that was like an $80 million movie. This was like if Avatar made no money.

Speaker A
Well, I do think that they're, like, perfect. This guy's coming off of Rambo. This is gonna be a huge hit. No one, like, looked at the script or the tone or the content of it. This is, uh.

Speaker B
Yeah, it was a mess. I didn't like this movie.

Speaker A
I wrote. This movie is cringingly bad. I feel bad for the people in it. I genuinely, at times felt bad for Sylvester Stallone because I was watching someone try so hard to do something they were failing at, and their best attempts were on screen. Well, here's.

Speaker C
Because here's the thing. Singing, I really do think it's like, it's one of those things. You're a singer or you're not. Like, you can either do that or you can't do that. And so what's strange is, like, he must have known his what, the actor's ability.

Like, he knew what he could do before going into this. Oh, yes. Which is very conquered. He knew. He was a comedian.

Speaker B
Hubris. This movie is hubris. Right? Like, he thinks he can do anything at this point. Exactly.

This is the moment where he does cobra a year later. Oh, flawless. Well, I mean, here, this is an interesting fact. Stallone turned down the Michael Douglas role in romancing the stone, the Eddie Murphy role in Beverly Hills cop to make. This movie because he's a comedian.

He really thinks he is. Have you seen Oscar? Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, he's great in that too. He's a good straight.

He's a good straight man. Like, tango and cash is legitimately a fantastic movie. I love that movie. So have you done it on here? No, we have not.

Oh, my God. I feel like, you know, oh, it's Sylvester Sloan and Kurt Russell. I think I'm confusing it with tequila sunrise. No, no, these. No, this is like the heyday of Kurt Russell's, like, beautiful hair.

No, that heyday continues, my friend. That's true. That man has the best hair in Hollywood. Let's show you a clip of the comedy. This is like, probably the, I would think, a centerpiece comedy scene.

Speaker A
It's about his biggest organ.

Speaker B
Do you play an instrument? Yeah, I can sort of play a couple of chords in this organ I have at home. Hey, I'll tell you what. Why don't you come to my house and you can teach me a new song? Go to your house, huh?

I suppose that's so you can show. Me your organ, right? And why do you think I'm counting you? I'm telling you, I really do have this big organ. Thank you.

All right, we'll go to your place and you can show me your organ. But I'm warning you, it best be. Having music coming out of it. You got it.

Speaker A
He plays it like Jim Carrey in the ace Ventura era. And what you can't. For the people at home, you can't see that there's an extra in that scene who, when he hears big organ's like, oh, what? And then when he hears it again, gives him a thumbs up. Any extra on any movie worth its salt.

Get that guy. Can we not say that? No. You know why? You know what I think?

Speaker B
I think they put that guy in there to make sure people got the double entendre. Absolutely had that guy in there. So people would be like, oh, shit, dude, rewind this. You just missed a fucking great joke. And I have to rewind it.

So at the end, puts on sunglasses with the flair, as if he's doing like a buster Keaton like comedic routine.

I also love in the eighties where he's like, hey, we're gonna do your hair for this movie. And he's like, can you make me look like a microphone? There's one of perfectly shaped, like, I have a Madonna halo around my head. One of the insults. One of the insults when he trying to sing and he's getting heckled.

Is. Is that a hairstyle or a launching pad?

She's written by Sylvester Stallone. You didn't enjoy this movie, did you? I hated this movie. Also by the smoothie when you bring up the audience heckling. Another thing that I didn't know about country music is the art of slams.

Speaker A
Your mama jokes is a big, like, you know, when you go see, like, a Waylon Jennings concert, he's always being like, shut up. Your mama's so fat that when she sits around the house, she sits around the house. Two, three, four. And I lost my woman to a man with a horse.

I love Dolly Parton in this movie. I actually was like, wow. She's. I thought she was very attractive, but she also dresses like a caricature of someone in a cowboy. Yes.

Like, Mae west is like, tone it down.

Speaker B
Richard Farnsworth in this movie, the actor who plays her father, who you were describing as not quite knowing if he's in scenes, describes Stallone's character as slow witted, if that gives you an idea of where on the spectrum people are falling. Stallone is acting like a cartoon character in most of the movie. Like, when they go, one of my favorite things is the scene where he goes to the. I was saying he plays the organ, but there's a funeral, and his dad comes up and yells at him. He's like, what are you doing?

This is crazy. You can't be, oh, this is crazy. And then sees Dolly Parton is like, oh, God. And then his dad's like, oh, what's this girl? This girl.

Is this girl. This girl for you? Is this girl for you? If you can't handle this girl, you tell me, because I can handle a girl like this. If you need help, I'm pretty sure he's like, if you need me to come and double team Dolly Parton with you, you give me the word.

At which point I'm thinking the mom must be out of the picture. Not true. No. She serves them lunch, and she's furious. She serves them lunch.

Well, Dolly's there, and the dad is like, oh, I'm gonna eat this cannoli like it's your fucking bush. What's going on? But they also treat Stallone.

Speaker A
That may. That may have been an edited line. From the movie, don't reward that. They also treat him like he is a child. Like he's asking for permission from his parents to go to Tennessee with a weird woman to win a contest to get a like, okay, we'll let you go, sir.

Speaker C
He leaves home to go with a stranger. Well, he takes a bet from two strangers. It's like a trading place's bet. And leaves to go to the valley. Cause that was no way shot in Tennessee.

Speaker B
It was the tightest interior shots on everything. It was just porches. All porches. Yeah, all porches. And my wife walks in and she's like, is this little house on the prairie?

Why does it look like they're in an old timey house? Nobody's that poor. And then she. My wife, I have to say, asks the same question of every movie we watch. She's like, so, do you think they had sex?

Do you think they actually had sex with each other while they were shooting? Cause I dance. Interesting you bring that up. Because it was rumored for years that Dolly cheated on her husband. Was sly during this movie.

Their chemistry was undeniable.

Palpable. Palpable. June, did you think they had good chemistry? There was a scene or two where I thought, something's happening. Something's.

Speaker A
When they kissed, I thought that she would kiss him, but I thought that she would kiss him. Like, to be like, I wonder what. Like, a New York guy tastes like. Or something like, I feel like it was like, more of a June. Is that the way women.

I've never had it. I don't think I'll like it. Is that the way women think? Like, I need to taste the men of the country. I wonder what a Chicago guy tastes like.

Speaker B
He tastes like deep dish. He tastes like diesel fumes and sweat. It is interesting. If you have watched a lot of Dolly Parton movies, the similar part she plays is that she's like this sweet, like, down home country girl who's had sex with everybody. Like, she's like, that guy screwed me over.

That guy screwed me over. They sing a song in the movie that's like their first duet is like, it's not about love. It's just a one night stand. But I guess we always catch up with her after she's learned her lesson. Like, her movie is over and she's now wisened.

Speaker A
Like, she's never back in. Like, you never see her being. No, she's trying to get. I think she's trying to get out from under, you know, like. And this actually, I feel like, is the Dolly Parton story.

Speaker B
Like, she's a child. Poor she. She sees the prostitute in town and says, that woman is beautiful. I want to look like her when I grow up. And she dresses like the prostitute and that.

This is true. This is Dolly Parton's story. And then she becomes a country musician because she's part of Porter Wagner's situation. And the husband in this, the. I'm spacing his name.

Speaker A
Freddie Hugo Barnett. Barnett. Barnett. He is. He's a Porter Wagner stand in.

Speaker B
Right. Yeah. So she. Because they used to be singing partners and they were involved, but he was keeping her down, so she had to escape from him and get away and got involved with a bad manager. I feel like a lot of this is weirdly Dolly Parton actual weird life that Stallone wrote.

Speaker A
Yep. Well, according to you, Dolly Parton's life sucks, except that she is one of the most triumphant and amazing singer songwriters in american history, which is amazing. Best concert I've ever seen was a Dolly Parton concert. This movie is excruciating to watch. Absolutely.

Speaker B
But how many times are you like, wow, she's a really good singer throughout the movie. And songwriter. And songwriter. How many years difference do you think between Dolly and Stallone? She's ageless.

I have no idea. I have no idea how old she is. She could be really hard because of the wig. The wig and the makeup, because I don't know. They could.

I feel like there's. You do know? I do. But I want you to continue. Yeah.

Speaker C
I feel like maybe they're around the same age. Yeah. I feel like. Oh, boy. I don't.

Speaker B
I feel like they're so. I know, I know, I know. Pictures of her as a kid are all in black and white. Okay. We at least have that nugget.

I'm guessing she's older than him by less than ten years. Okay. Exactly the same age. Really? Exactly the same age.

Wow. Wow. Exactly the same. Do you think she went from best little whorehouse in Texas to this and was like, ah, fuck Burt Reynolds. He really had the comedy chops that she was used to.

Yeah. And then she's like, wow, fuck. Sylvester's still love. And then after this, it was like James woods. Right?

Speaker A
She eventually makes it to Queen Latifah. Somehow that, like, from Burt rhinos to Queen Lynn, finally has made it across the world. Thank God. We haven't even gotten into Drinkenstein.

Drinkenstein is a song that Stallone sings where he becomes a monster after he drinks Budweiser called Drinkenstein. Do you have the clip. I do have the clip. Pretty positive. Here we go.

Check out that bulge.

Speaker B
Budweiser. You created a monster. And they call him freaking Stein. And the tavern down the street is a lavatory where he makes the transformation all the time.

Speaker A
Sorry, cut off a little bit early. He's wearing a cowboy hat that has multiple, like, tails on it. You know, he's dressed like, oh, this is a pet peeve of mine in comedy, by the way. It really is. And it happens to me, and I bet it happens to all of us here quite a bit.

Speaker B
You go in and you're doing a small part on something. You come in to do a funny couple scenes, and they're like, I got this costume for you. That's hilarious. And you're like, why does my costume have to be funny? Can't I just be funny?

Why do you have to? Was this a comedy? Yeah. I do feel like Stallone, though, requested. Oh, Stallone.

He's a comedian. Yeah. He was like, I need more. Can't this be a funnier costume? Yeah.

Speaker A
This is a thing I really wanted to get into. When they go to a bar, the guy, the Tim Thompson Barnett, says, I like my beer foamy. That's not a thing.

Plus a foamy beer.

Speaker B
I lived in Amsterdam for three years, and all beers are served with two fingers of foam at the top. They won't take a beer without foam at the top. Okay, so maybe he is from Amsterdam. He is a european cowboy. I will say.

Speaker A
I will say. I will buy that. But his foam was literally from top to bottom of glass. That's good joke writing. Do you think that was to show that he was an idiot?

No. I actually feel like. I don't know what that was. It didn't seem. It didn't seem like a character choice.

It didn't even seem like a joke. It just seemed like if I was a kid, that would be like something. I would be like, oh, that's how adults order things. And then I'd be severely disappointed. I wrote down a joke.

Speaker B
I don't know the context. I don't know who said it. I don't remember. Cause I hate this movie. But I'm reading this line, and I'm like, it's pretty funny.

Quote, you sound like baby Hitler.

Speaker A
That is in the movie, right? What is that from? That's. Stallone says that about Dolly when she's telling him, I think, to, like, mix his peas and mashed potatoes together. She's saying.

Speaker B
He says, yeah. She says, you're a big idiot. And he says, well, you're baby Hitler. You sound like baby Hitler. Cause she's making him do too many things.

Baby Hitler, very bossy. It's mine, mine, mine. Okay, thank you guys again. Another way to tell. Teach someone how to sing.

Speaker A
Make them eat biscuits with gravy, not butter. That was. That was. That was the scene that we just saw. The baby Hitler in this movie was.

Speaker B
Worse than a Dukes of Hazzard episode. Than all of the Dukes of Hazzard episodes. Like, this is not on this section of the movie. Felt like the dukes of Hazzard to me for some reason. Yeah.

Speaker A
Cause it was shot in the same backlog. It probably was when they go to Tennessee. And all of the crazy everybody here are, like, such bold stereotypes. Obviously, the asian family at the beginning, all the hillbillies are, like, crazy stereotypes. All the italian families, crazy.

Speaker B
But there were so many moments in the Tennessee section. Where I desperately wanted the general Lee to speed through and freeze frame. And Waylon Jennings be like, well, the Duke boys have gotten themselves in real pickle this time. What's Nick gonna do next?

This movie felt like an axe. You know what I mean? You talk an axe of movie. I got to the hour point, and I was like, oh, it's over. Holy shit.

There's 30 more minutes. I thought it was over. Well, I thought the next scene, he's gonna go sing in the bar. Huge. Other plot of, like, she's jealous of him.

Speaker A
Well, that's the thing that I really wanted to get into. The third act of this movie comes out of nowhere. They literally have sex. It looks like they are together as a couple, and they're having sex. Remember when they kiss and she goes, there's just one more thing I want to find out about you.

Like his dick size. Wow. They had sex in that scene. I wasn't paying attention. No, no, no.

Speaker B
Later at the end. Not with the scene with the extra. No, no. I was saying I didn't understand it later on. Cause the extra wasn't there.

Oh, got it. I didn't know if he had been there doing that extra. If that extra popped up in the window. Thumbs up.

Yeah, yeah. There are multiple jokes. Multiple jokes made about sly and Dolly trying to hook up in the house where Richard Farnsworth is. But he's like, I hear ya, basically. And then it kind of scuttles them.

But then at the time when they do have sex, Richard Farnsworth is still right there. Like, he's listening to them, like, pound it. Ow. And you're right about the house that, well, we've never really seen the scope of the house. You never see the outside completely except for the Waltons.

Good nights. Yes. When we see them in the kitchen, it does look like it's a two bedroom situation. Like it's a tiny, tiny home. The bathroom is very small where Stallone is singing into his toothbrush.

And the dad and Dolly and the dad come in and they're all kind of like, uh oh, cramped. Yeah. There's no noise machines or air conditioners. So if you could hear a mouse fucking on cotton, you could hear, you know, Dolly and stallone going, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

You never heard of fucking mouse? Never heard that expression? Ever heard that? Is that a line from this movie? No.

No. Sounds like a country. No, it was so quiet, you could hear a mouse fucking on cotton. You've never heard that the mouse or the cotton. The cotton would be the bed for the mouse, because he doesn't have a bed.

Speaker A
It would just be a cotton push. Mice. Mice don't just sleep on the ground willy nilly. But why couldn't they gather up cotton? They make like a nest.

Like a mouse. Like a mouse bed? Yes. No, just a cotton ball. An adorable cotton ball.

Speaker B
How big is this mouse? It's a pretty small mouse. It's gotta be, because I think of the cotton ball as the pillow. Wait, Junior, where are you on this analogy? What I'm curious about is the cotton ball making noise, but a cotton is killing the noise.

Yeah, the fucking. Yeah, that's how quiet it is. That's how quiet right now. Right now. Try to get it so quiet that you can imagine two mice fucking on cotton.

Right.

Speaker A
Quiet. Shut your fucking mouth.

Speaker B
You ruined it for me, for everyone. Oh, we hate you.

What am I listening to? We're trying to find, excuse your imagination. Your imagination. I feel like what I would hear would be the mice squeaking. That's what I'm saying.

And the cotton being there or not, it's irrelevant. Except do mice squeaking on the floor or squeaking on cotton? The cotton isn't dampening the sound of the floor. That's where it springs. No, it is.

Speaker A
Maybe it's like two smurfs fucking on cotton is. Now we can get into this. Cause now I'm curious. I think the cotton sucks sound. We know that kind of sucks sound.

Speaker B
Oh. My point was they could hear Dolly Parton and Sly's. Fuck it. Oh, by the way, there was a cliche in this movie that drives me insane of, like, two people are about to kiss, right? And then you say something, right?

So I'm about to kiss and be like, you. I didn't get it. Let's try it again. I want to play this game with Jason. So where we're like, oh, yeah, I really want to kiss.

Oh, hey, well, I guess we can't kiss now. Like that has ever stopped anybody in the history of time or something. And then they. Richard Farnsworth says something they're about, and then they're like, uh. And then he walks away, and they're like, yeah, I guess we're not gonna kiss now.

Speaker A
The moment was, no. Then they leave, and then you fucking kiss the person. That's how the real world works. She has huge boobs. There comes a point, though, when she has to take off that corset, and it must be a just blood.

She's in pain. She's in such a. She's like that. Like those people who get caught in the subway. You ever see, like, you know, like a car impales them in a tree or they get caught in the subway tracks?

It's like, well, if we pull out the subway, they'll die. If she ever takes off her dress, she'll die.

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Speaker B
I love Dolly Parton. Like I love truly so much. Yeah, true love. And even in this God awful movie, she is still somehow, like transcendently wonderful. I think so, too.

I really do, too. Every time she opens her mouth, it's funny. Every time she sings, it's amazing. And in those moments you're like, wow. Unstoppable.

Unstoppable. She's a queen. She's unstoppable. And then fucking everybody else in the movie. Like it takes a shit all over everything.

Yeah. That's why, honestly, I didn't hate the movie because I liked seeing her outfits. I like seeing all the different clothes she got to wear. And also her voice is so beautiful that I'll watch this horrible movie just to hear her sing in those scenes. Great.

And she sings a lot. She sings a lot. I do think that you could take a lesson from Dolly Parton because she is above it all. Like, she makes it work. Like she makes that chemistry between the two of them working, like, oh, yeah, I guess Sylvester Stallone is kind of a cute, roguish kind of guy, but it's only because she's playing it.

Speaker A
He's a boorish asshole, like, who wants to get back to driving a cab. He's like, she, take this. She has strapped this movie to her heavily corseted body, is carrying it for the 90 some odd minutes that it lasts that I sincerely wanted to kill myself during. She is, like, a champion of this movie, and the entire plot of it is, like, so borderline hateful towards her character, and yet she still comes out shining. There's love.

Speaker B
You, Dolly. Call me if you've ever dated a musician. If you've ever dated a musician. And they're, like, in bed or around the house, and they're, like, playing the guitar, piano. It's the most dream of mine is the most annoying thing in the world.

No, it's just so goddamn annoying. I'm hanging out. Nora Jones is playing piano in bed.

But if it's Dolly Parton, I don't think you would ever get annoying. No, I really don't think it would. I actually buy. I definitely wouldn't. I buy that she sits in the dark and plays guitar before she.

I believe it. I truly believe that. And then she takes off her corset and her boobs, like, inflate to fill the entire room. She sleeps on her boobs. It's like two mice fucking on Dolly Parton's boobs.

Speaker A
Let's go to the audience. Let's see what questions you guys have. I mean, we have a lot of. Oh, people have notes. We always like people with notes because you've done the research.

All right, so, all right, who has got. You've got a question. Here we go. Your name. Who you think is a better singer, Dolly or Stallone?

And your question? I'm Allie. I also obviously think that Dolly Parton is amazing, so. Dolly Parton. I'm sorry.

Speaker B
Right? Like, who do you think is a better singer, Dolly? Partner. I miss Hardee's. Stallone.

Speaker A
Okay, great. Yeah, perfect. That's what I thought. How are we supposed to believe that Stallone ever learned how to sing if there wasn't a montage? That's a really good point.

It seems like that's the only thing that wasn't in the training montage. You never. You never saw anyone teaching him singing. It was like, if you eat this way, if you chop this way, if you ride this way. I have a thought on that.

Speaker B
He cannot sing. In order for that to succeed, he has to be able to sing poorly and then be able to sing better. You need the capability in your actor of before and after. It's not happening here. We've got two befores.

So he never learns how to. How to sing. That's part of the problem. This movie is horrible. Let's all kill ourselves.

Also, do you remember Richard Farnsworth teaching him old MacDonald how to farm? Oh, yeah. He was such an asshole. You can't just try to sing. Old McDonald had a farm for a second.

If you can't do that, why am I watching the rest of this fucking movie?

Speaker A
I want to get to. I do want to get to the bottom of why he was. It was ever acceptable that when he would sing, like, when he sang tutti frutti, he was like, tutti frutti. Oh, Rudy fruity, oh, tutti frutti, frutti. Like, it was like.

Like, that's not acceptable. Like, he didn't copy it. Like, if he was like. Like, that's not bad tone. That's not even, like, a conception of rhythm.

It's not even rhythm. I don't know what that is. Cause even a bad singer would be like, Trudy Frutti already. Here's the thing about the way he's saying it, and I know what you're saying about it being a comedic choice, but the way he sings tutti frutti, it's almost as though he's, like, hearing the song wrong. Like.

Like he heard it on a fest, like a setup record. He also doesn't know the words to the song. Yeah. His frenetic, like, retelling, like, he never got the information correctly in the first place. Maybe his record player is stuck on the fast side.

Speaker B
He only hears records. Super fast. Sir, what would you call the movie? Your name and your question. Here you go.

Speaker A
My name's Paul. I'm from England originally, but didn't ask.

Get it. We heard your accent. We get it. You're more cultural. America now.

Speaker B
USA. USA. USA. USA. He is actually wearing a Captain America t shirt, so I think he's on board.

Speaker A
He's on board. All right. Your question. Well, I worked for. I worked for a tv station in the UK, and Sylvester Stallone did an interview where he was actually mad that everyone thought that he couldn't sing in this movie because he was nominated.

Shortlisted for an Oscar in 1978 for best song from a single from the movie Paradise Alley. That is true. And he was shortlisted for an Oscar, so he was pissed that people didn't think he could sing because on that song, he actually can sing. So he was saying, like, he was mad. So that's why he made this movie.

Speaker C
No, I'm kidding. But here's what weird. But he didn't even give himself an opportunity to sing in this movie, right? Like, he couldn't. Like, if.

Speaker A
If it was a parody of himself, he said. But he says it. But he says it, like, as if he was not in control. Like, if someone made it, this movie, without his consent. Like, this all comes back to what I've been saying.

Speaker B
He said he's a parody of himself. He was trying to be. Cause he's a comedian, guys. Sylvester Stallone is a fucking comedian. All right, here we go.

Tango cash. Your question. What you'd call the movie? And your name? My name is Mishka.

I would call the movie. What did he say? Ooh, great. My question was, his first performance in Tennessee, why was he given a guitar to play when he already told Dolly that he only played a little bit of organ? Great question.

Speaker A
It really stacked the day. And, yeah, he learned how to play guitar, right? Or was he playing guitar at the end? Sort of. But no, not in the diamond jumpsuit, he wasn't.

Okay. No. Didn't he look like Don Cheadle in boogie nights? In that.

Speaker B
Does the song Rhinestone cowboy ever get sung? Never in the whole movie. Oh, but, guys. But the movie is based on that song. That is a title in the beginning, based on the song Rhinestone Cowboy, which I don't believe.

Speaker A
That song is not about, like, a woman taking a cabbie from New York to Tennessee to win a competition or she'll get fucked by a sleaze bag. I'm not super familiar with it, but I don't remember that being. So. Just to get back to the third act for a second. So after he.

Speaker C
So after he sings at that last performance in Nashville, he feels in. Oh, yes. No, after that. Yeah. After the last performance in Nashville, he feels like he's such a good singer at that point that it's no longer about the bet.

Speaker B
No, he's gonna be a professional. Yeah. He doesn't want the cab anymore. He doesn't want the cab anymore, but still decides to not stay in the south, but to pursue the country music scene. Because New York city of country music.

Speaker C
Is in New York City. Right. Okay, great, great, great.

Speaker A
What are a couple, like, famous country singers who came out of New York? Like.

Speaker B
All of them? Yeah. Johnny White, Nash, Waylon Jennings, George. George Jones. All right.

You're Bill Monroe. Okay. Your name, title for Rhinestone. And your question? My name is Jason, and I would.

Say, cool name, bro.

Killing it. Stop killing it. Jace.

Speaker A
I would say that the title of the movie should be the hardest movie to find because I had to get a bootleg of this movie. But actually, Mike, I had a question for you guys. What you guys thought of the suicidal cowboy at the start of the movie who was singing in the cowboy bar? Because I would have liked to have followed his story because he had a very tragic story about his wife getting shredded. Oh, this is amazing.

I actually have a clip of it. I do have a clip. I'm gonna play it. I'll come back to you guys. Yes.

Speaker B
I thought that was. What. What's the guy's name, the country music singer? Dwight Yokum. Dwight.

Yo. Dwight Yoakum. I thought it was Dwight Yokem. So I looked it up, but it's not Dwight Yoakum. How many.

Did you guys watch the movie here tonight or before you came? Before they came. How many people stole it offline? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker A
I bought it off of Amazon for a dollar. I now own a dvd of this piece of shit.

Well, here. Here is just a. Here is the guy. And you'll see, like, he bends a mic stand. And I think you'll see a quick Frank Stallone cameo in this as well.

He's a yeller or a heckler.

I know he does. Get another mic stand. Here we go. So here we go. This guy, he bends the mic stand, throws it down.

Speaker B
This is a song I wrote for my baby.

Well, I left my home when I was 22 but I never did find my time of place it's just the kind of thing a man has to do with a scar on his soul like the one on his face.

Speaker A
All right, so. I know. Sorry. It was a quick clip, but the. But it.

He's viewed as being terrible. No. Well, this song here, he's like. Everybody's like, oh, good. Not bad.

But then the song gets super. The song gets super crazy, and everybody's like, fuck you. But again, show thing where hecklers rule and nobody's ever passed before. I was. I was severely disappointed when he never came back.

Speaker B
When you realize that he's not the villain of the movie or something, and you're like, oh, no, that's just one scene. God damn it. That was great. You love that? I love it.

Speaker A
This movie is really, like a precursor to the voice. Right, guys? Yeah. You know, like, really just taking someone, plucking their talent really works? Yeah.

Speaker B
They get a mentor. It's so good. Who did some research? I know people have research. I want to make sure no, no one.

Speaker A
Okay, you did some research. I like to reward research. All right, here we go. Your name, your question. Here you go.

Speaker B
My name is Walter. The question I found weird was when he scoots up next to thruster Sloan at the bar and he asks him about doing heroin. Yeah, I forgot about that. You're from New York. Have you ever done heroin?

Speaker A
Stallone control, alt save. Knocked out that scene. Now I'm gonna go get fucked. Boom. I've got one of the very first computers in the world.

Speaker B
I write on it, and I have a robot for a maid. Literally. That movie was written one year later. If you, like, look at Stallone's trajectory like he was making, writing and directing movies at such a rate your mind would explode. Like he directed staying alive.

Speaker A
Then the next year he was doing this. Then the next year he was writing and directing Rocky three. Like, he was. He was the Woody Allen of the eighties. I think he produced even more than Woody Allen.

Oh, yeah. Okay. He made 48 films in. In four years, I think. All right, come on.

Your name, your question. Here you go. Hi, my name is Brian. So the song Drinkenstein, which was won a razzie. Yes.

For the worst song of that year. So there's no montage of it in a Stallone movie, but it's unknown. Like, did the Stallone character write the song? Is it a song in this universe that's a very popular. Their country song that they're covering just to kind of work out the bugs and is, you know, trying, like, hey, try this song.

Let's see. You know, it's a simple chord. One, two, three. Drinkenstein. Or did all the band, like, jam together?

And they're like, hey, we got this costume. Why don't you put this on and let's work up that song you did, like, half an hour ago, and let's do that. Well, first of all, if you really would commit to the costume, I'd like him to make bolts out of Budweiser cans and put them in his neck. Yeah. That is unclear if that was an original frank or whatever his name is in the movie.

Speaker B
Who was that? What was the name of the backing band that would, like, her friend? The what? It was something. Wild possums.

Wild possums. Wild possums. Yeah, like the wild stallions. Bill and Ted. I got upset.

Was that, like, do you think that Budweiser was productive placement? Oh, no, I don't think that Budweiser's advocating that when you drink it, you become a monster.

Speaker A
A drinking monster. Good point. I actually am surprised that Budweiser let them keep that in there. Someone was like, hey, we could get sued because we're saying that our alcohol makes you a fucking monster. I was surprised Jeff Healy wasn't in this movie.

Speaker B
He seems to be in all of our terrible country bar movies. Your name and your question. Here you go. My name's Laura, and mine is more of an observation or, I was concerned about Dolly Parton. Every time they sang in duet that she was gonna get head butted by slice.

Speaker C
I didn't know if anybody else had that concern, but I was worried for her health. Well, I'm sure there is a hilarious blooper reel for this movie where he beats her. Well, if you want to headbutt Dolly, you gotta get past those titties that far. I'm telling you, when they shoot her from the side, it's upsetting. I'm just.

Speaker B
Just a handful. I don't agree. I don't think it's upsetting. Would you guys like to. Would you guys like to see a little bit of their duet?

Speaker A
Here's when Dolly and him come together. This is where the magic happens. So much so that in this movie, the minute they get on stage together, the credits roll. They don't even let it. Like, they don't even let you see it full screen.

Like, yeah, get the fuck out of here. We're done. Go, go, go. Here we go. If you don't wanna play in my fantasy stay out of my bedroom, baby.

If you can't take the heat you. Want it, I'm on and getting it, baby satisfaction guarantee.

Again, apex of the movie, one over. This crowd full of people.

Speaker B
At least I'm getting there.

Speaker A
Not really the best.

Again, I'm pausing for 1 second just to remind everyone this crowd has been set up as a crowd full of New York City's best hecklers. Yep, they were paid to heckle. But yet that song, the power of that song, which is really just one chorus repeated over and over and over and over again, gets them out of their seats. But honestly, and be honest, because again, this movie is reprehensible. Doesn't it get good when she starts singing?

Speaker B
Yes. Like, it's laughable. When he's trying to sing. When she comes out and starts singing, it's like, okay, this isn't that bad. It's great.

What? They sound horrible together. You get out. You get out. Get out.

Speaker A
She's doing the best she can. She's doing the best. These sounds so bad. They have no harmony. It's like Mozart trying to play, you know, a piece and a rat running around the keyboard at the same time.

Speaker B
It's like two mice fucking on Cog. Obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but now it is time for a second opinion.

Speaker A
These are five star reviews called from Amazon, and these are amazing. Did a couple more than normal just because they are amazing. Okay. RW Dubois says, the first time I saw this movie, I thought I would die laughing. And I was, and I did.

Critics panned it because they thought psy Stallone wanted to break into the music business. Not true. It's just the movie. Too bad they can't tell the difference between reality and fiction. We all know he can't sing.

That's why he's perfect. Five stars.

Speaker C
That's just. Yeah. So just quickly, do you think he does have a career after this song? I mean, obviously he's won his taxi back. Oh, do you think that they go off and, like, perform in New York City's high flute?

Speaker A
Yeah, I'd like to think so. There's no way. There's no way this is the height for him. It's only that night of the hype. This is the best night of his life.

Speaker B
Yes. I can see a sequel. Like karate kid two. Like, it picks up right after this night. He's toweling off.

Speaker A
They beat up that guy, and they go to Tennessee. It is weird, because in the fight before this, she says to him, like, when she realizes he wants more than just this night, she tells him he's not gonna make it. And so I guess we're to believe that she also thinks he's gonna be a huge New York City country music. Star because he got the hip hop beginning right. I just realized something.

Yes. Stallone wrote in both this movie and staying alive. Yeah. The female, a female character telling the main guy he can't make it and him having to triumph over that negative assessment of him in order to win. So Stallone hates it.

Speaker B
Also, in the movie over. Also, the movie over the top is the same. We're familiar with over the top. Right. But it's the same thing.

Don't you worry. Robert Loja is telling him he can't win. Yeah, but it's his wife. His ex wife not believing in him. Well, no, his ex wife is insane.

Speaker A
His ex wife's in a mental institution, but Robert Loja keeps her in. Ex wife is kind of supporting him 100% by the way, Stallone, if anything. Has really good taste in music. I mean, getting Dolly Parton over the top is Kenny Loggins. You know what I mean?

He's a look, he's. Oh, he enacts it. Frank Stallone.

Seven songs, staying alive. Here's another review. Rambo can't sing, but he's funny. Stallone has a gift for comedy that his fans don't recognize. Rhinestone is hilarious.

I think too many of his fans expected him to actually become a country singer by the end of Rhinestone, thereby missing out on all the humor scenes between him and dolly Parton.

I don't understand that logic. And then I've been wanting to purchase this movie for ten years. But everyone's defending this movie by going, this is Shing. Do people see movies and be like, ugh, classic Daniel Day Lewis. Obviously gonna be President Lincoln after this.

Speaker B
He's doing all the work. It's clearly what he's gearing up for. Like, do people think that performances. Yes. People are that stupid.

I'll tell you from firsthand, people are that stupid. Hundred percent. This one by Krista F. O'Neil. If you're too cool to watch a movie about Dolly Parton trying to turn Sylvester Stallone into a country music star, then guess what?

Speaker A
You're an idiot. Five stars.

Speaker B
She sounds cool. Cool. This is the one that I was really confused by. Five out of five stars titled Wardrobe by Matt Smith.

Speaker A
Get ready for this. The robe that Freddie Hugo wore had blue satin on silk. Who made that?

How can I buy the robey head on when she went to rent his room to call the bet? That's the outfit that you're gonna pick in the entire movie. What are you talking about? When they're creating, like, a weird kimono. Where do you buy that?

Where do you buy that? Five stars. You know what I'm. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna write on Amazon.

Speaker B
Somebody's gonna see it. They're gonna give me a heads up.

Speaker A
Judy. Judy Shinsky writes, my mom loves this movie with every bone in her body. I myself can't stand it. So I'm rating this movie for her. I've seen this movie, and from what I've seen, I'm surprised that they would actually make this movie.

But that's not what my mom would say. She would say, it's a great movie and everyone should own a copy. I just can't stand it. This review isn't gonna be helpful. So what can I say?

You should really rent movies before you buy them anyways.

Wait, what went on in that household? Judy. Judy, go on Amazon. Review the movie for me. Judy, please let them know what I think I don't want to do about Judy.

Speaker B
Please give it a thumbs up from me. They don't do thumbs on Amazon. Whatever. They do as many as they want. Judy should have just not have reviewed this movie.

Speaker A
And then the second to last one here is just another interesting insight. Want to laugh? Stallone is hilarious in this film. Made my mother in law laugh. Really fun to see her laugh.

Speaker B
She hates me now. This is a first. And I just thought because it was a first, I had to read it. There was a fight on the Amazon reviews.

Speaker A
So Daniel Becker, in a very lengthy review, slammed this movie, gave it one star. And his point number seven was.

And finally, complicity with the theory that Sylvester Stallone is an alien life form sent here to reap carnage on mankind capable of single handedly destroying art and culture with little more than a typewriter and the ability to form catastrophic phrases out of seemingly benign language. That is guru of doo doo. Run for the love. That all. That is all holy run.

Then someone writes in the positive section, Daniel Becker. Shut your mouth.

Daniel Becker does not know real talent when he sees it. How low minded are you when you run down a top celebrity? Sure, I respect your opinion, but it's so narrow minded, I wanna puke.

If you don't like Stallone, then why would you see a movie he's in? Eh, eh, eh eh. That's what I thought. You don't know because you're a complete jerk. If you can't say something nice about an amazing guy, don't say anything at all.

Speaker B
If Stallone really is an alien and there is some kind of contest between Stallone versus humans, I think the results are in. I think we won. I was gonna say, I think the aliens won't.

Speaker A
Anything left to add? I miss him. I miss Sylvester Stallone. I really do. Watching great movies.

Speaker B
This episode of how did this get made? Brought to you by the Expendables three. We'll keep on making movies until we run out of poster space. We will keep adding septuagenarian and octogenarian actors to this cast list as some of them die off. Remember, Dolph Lundgren is a PhD physicist.

Speaker A
Finally, Kelsey Grammer in an action movie. He was in that. He's in Expendables three, as is Harrison Ford, who does his own stunts. Not so well anymore. Yeah, that's right.

Speaker B
We're going after Harrison Ford. We already shut down. How I met your mother. That rivalry ended with that show getting shut down. Don't even talk about how I met your father.

Speaker A
Didn't get made because of us. Boom. Would you guys recommend people seeing this movie? No. I would say go see straight talk.

Speaker B
It's the greatest Dolly Parton movie ever. Yes. Is that Dolly Parton doing, like, Frasier? Yeah. No.

Yeah, kind of. She gets her own talk show. She just, like, tells people what's going on. It gives them southern wisdom. Straight talk.

And it gives them straight talk. And, like, there's, like, a theme song that goes, straight talk, straight talk. Like, come on, let's talk turkey. And they play that song eight times in the movie. It's fantastic.

Cozy straight talk. Yeah. I would say, see any other Dolly Parton movie? Steely mags, nine to five. C night watch.

Nine to five. Come on, guys. I'd watch. I would watch this just for Dolly because the dolly scenes were enough for me. They were.

Speaker A
Wow. They were. I love her that much. A vocal minority applauds. I would say watch it because I think, as you know, somebody does comedy and stuff like that, it's great to, like, learn from a master and the height of his game, you know, it's good.

You know, it's good to see how you like those kind of takes. I actually saw this movie in theaters when I was a very small child. My parents are divorced and I have a shitty father, and if he wanted to see a movie, we were fucking seeing it. So I thought, you know, I saw, oh, a death wish and, like, cobra in theaters, and I was like, three or four. I don't remember seeing this, but my sister would tell me about it, and then my dad bought it and watched it a bunch.

Speaker B
My dad is obsessed with Dolly Parton in a really disgusting way. I have a. Just, you know, just something to think about. Just ponder on this a minute. You are, too.

Speaker A
Can't top that. That is our show, everybody.

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Matinee Monday: Rhinestone LIVE! (w/ Matt Jones)

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1: Introduction

2: Plot Discussion

3: Character Analysis

4: Comedic Elements

5: Audience Q&A

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