Madame Web LIVE!

Paul Scheer
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That's why there's two and a pack. Shop Reese's peanut butter cups now at a store near you, found wherever candy is sold and often in my pantry, because I love these. Hello, people of earth. Before we start today's show. Some big announcements.

First of all, how did this get made? Is coming to Boston on Sunday, June 16. That's right, on Father's Day. We will be at the Wilbur Theater. Tickets go on sale Friday, May 31 at 10:00 a.m.

but if you're listening to this before then, you can access a special fan pre sale using the code. Bonkers. That's right. Use that code. Go to hdtgm.com for all the ticket info.

And secondly, I want to thank you all for purchasing my book. Joyful recollections of trauma. I've been completely blown away by all the support. We had a completely sold out book tour and your response to the book has really meant the world to me. If you've not gotten the book, go get the book.

You can get it wherever books are sold, ebooks are sold, or even audiobooks. And yes, I recorded the audiobook. And yes, the audiobook is full of amazing good from how did this get made? And even my own home videos. But I just wanted to say thank you all for supporting me.

It means the world to me. And I have one more small favor to ask. If you are enjoying the book, if you want to just send some more goodwill, write a review on Amazon or on Goodreads. It really does help and it will be like your own second opinion. All right, that's all I got.

Enjoy your episode on Madam Web. We were in the Amazon with her mom. She was researching spiders. Right before she died, we saw Madame Webb. So you know what that means.

Hello, people of the Amazon, and hello, people of Largo.

We are live in Los Angeles for the movie event of the century. I am talking about the 2024 film Madame Webb.

Her web connects them all by them, all three other people. All right, so what do you need to know about this movie? Well, it's about a queen's paramedic played by just that, just the idea that she's a queen's paramedic. Dakota Johnson plays a queen's paramedic who begins to demonstrate signs of clairvoyance and forced to challenge revelations about her past, she needs to safeguard three young women from a deadly adversary who is completely adr'd and wants them destroyed. Why?

Not really clear. There are so many things, but that is the quickest way I can at least explain the basis of this plot. Have you? Do you need to see a Spider man movie to understand it? Absolutely not.

Do you need to know anything about Marvel movies to understand it? No. Do you need to know anything about spiders, I'm gonna say that can also go out the window. Really, the only thing you need to know is queens geography. Cause someone's gonna have to tell me where the fuck that forest was.

I don't know how they got there. My dad lived in Queens. I lived on Long island. You're not getting to a forest that dense that quickly. No way.

All right, well, we will figure that out and more. But first, please let me welcome my co host. Please welcome Mister Jason Manzoukas.

Jason Mantzoukas
What's up, jerks? Yes. Happy Web day. It's happening. We're doing Madame well, bonjour.

Oh, shit. This is real. Wow. Wow, wow. I just finished the movie backstage and guys, I just found out we can stay here.

Great news. We can stay here until 03:00 a.m. that's how much I need to talk to you about Madame Webb. But you know what? Before we get too much into Madame Webb, we must bring.

Bonjour, madame. Our resident Marvel expert, a lover of the graphic novel, please welcome Miss June Diane Rapio.

Paul Scheer
Hello, June. How are you? I'm well, Paul. How are you? I'm okay.

Thank you for asking. Well, Madame Webb. Madame Webb. Ugh. I have what, a rich text.

June Diane Raphael
I want to get something out of the way real quick. And everybody take a breath and don't judge. Oh, I did enjoy this movie. Okay, so. Yes.

That's not what I was gonna say. I really liked it. To be clear, I'll jump to the end. I do recommend this movie. Yeah.

This is so great. I have to be honest. So do I. Yeah, it went down way smoother than I ever expected it to go down. I mean, Paul, I cried two times.

Jason Mantzoukas
I cried once. I did. I loved it. I mean, like, I mean, yo yo, every. Well, let's just talk.

June Diane Raphael
Let's just talk about what happened to the baby. Okay. I have a lot of questions about how that baby delivered by spider people. In the water cave entered the foster system. Yeah, me too.

Jason Mantzoukas
Let's be clear. In Queens. In. I got a few questions. Keep her in the jungle.

Paul Scheer
What are we doing? Let them raise her, Tarzan. Right? There's no reason why that baby needed to be shipped back. A motherless baby needed to be shipped back.

June Diane Raphael
Okay, so the baby survives. The baby survives. And the baby has gotten some of the spider vents special juice. Special juice. Because the mother gets stung while the baby is still inside.

Paul Scheer
No, not stung. The mother gets shot. No, no, the mother. Oh, yeah. But then the spider gives her the Uma thermon.

Oh, right. When she's in the hot milk bath. I wasn't expecting that quickly to be that turned on. I also. The amount of water and spiders that were put together, I was like, huh, interesting combo.

Spiders are into water. It doesn't seem. Doesn't seem like it's their place. It seems like water is actually detrimental to spiders and ribs. You're gonna tell me you're gonna establish a culture of spider people that live in the Amazon in the first ten minutes of the movie.

Jason Mantzoukas
And we then are like, the rest of the movie takes place in New York City. This is the most interesting thing in. The movie, unquestionably in the most interesting period. And three. Two years after 911.

Paul Scheer
Three. She's an ambulance driver. Two years after 911. Should have seen. We're gonna talk about her work as an ambulance driver.

Oh, but we just talk about Peru for a second more. Yeah, well, what I'm obsessed with is honestly what we didn't see, which is that transition into foster care. Now, later on, she will say. She will. This movie is kind of propaganda for foster care because she will say that somehow she had a great experience.

Jason Mantzoukas
She's very positive when she is given the responsibility to take care of three orphans. But can you imagine? But a newborn baby entering foster care, those babies are scooped up pretty quickly. Okay. Fully scooped.

June Diane Raphael
And this is something that's very troubling. But the babies get scooped up right away. The kids who enter foster care a later age, they, you know, they stay in foster care. So the idea of her as a newborn baby, just continuing to move around foster care and then not having ever gotten adopted, it's. There's a lot of questions.

There's a lot of questions. And I started to think, like, did you burn a house down as a seven year old? Like, why were you not placed in a permanent home? I would believe if late in the movie there was a reveal that she was a serial killer, I was like. It just doesn't make sense.

Jason Mantzoukas
I was like, is she is a villain? Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh, just. God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you guys.

Paul Scheer
I just was getting some pepsi. Listen, okay, here's a question. What? What. What is the inciting incident in this movie?

Well, her falling in the water. Why? It seems to awaken. What? The web vision.

Jason Mantzoukas
Web world. This is the worst superpower you can possibly have. She has no strength. She can just see a couple seconds into the future, but then at the end of the movie, she doesn't see that. Like, her reaction actually fucks up up something, even.

June Diane Raphael
She kills those people in the helicopter. Oh, yeah, she gets those people. She gets those people. Ice. I guess it only gives you like a choose your own adventure.

Paul Scheer
It's like those people die. Her friend, who's the ambulance driver, dies. Who she works with, but she saves that pigeon. Oh, thank God. Thank God she saved the pigeon and not any of those people.

Jason Mantzoukas
We don't need first responders. We need pigeons. I. I still am. Oh, boy.

Paul Scheer
Oh, boy. But you're right. What is the inciting incident? Who knows? Because the inciting incident, I believe, is the spider bite that infects her in the womb.

June Diane Raphael
Yes. Because that is what connects her to her entire spider heritage and allows her to do a. Allows her to both be present in her mother's past in a vision and then physically be there in order to be able to hug her mother. I cried. Oh, yeah, I cried.

I thought it was beautiful. I mean, you know, our son, our. Seven year old did turn to me when I was after that. He was like, why are you crying?

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That's LinkedIn.com valuable to post your job for free. Terms and conditions apply. I'm still stuck at this one moment in the movie where Madame Webb meets with the three other orphans in the woods outside of Queens. Oh, my God. And story.

Flushing, you know, the big, that big gardens. So they're in that wooded area. And she's like, I know you. You live in my building. Okay, interesting.

You know I know you. Sidney Sweeney says you are the paramedic who rescued my step mom. Right, right. She's like, you rescued my stepmother. The other one's like, you live in my building and you leave junk mail and we have to throw it away.

And then she's like, well, I don't know how I know you. And then madame says, you flip me off and you're like, oh, cool. But there's no, okay. It just seems coincidental. Like, it doesn't seem like I was.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, oh, but there's no larger, why are they connected? Not the web. I mean, there, well, I guess that was my question. I thought you two would be able to answer, like, in the world of marvel what are what? Because I kept on saying to our seven year old, he was like, well, when do they get their powers?

June Diane Raphael
I was like, soon. Soon. Nope. You were gonna see them. Just wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Jason Mantzoukas
I did never got em. Especially because they give us the scenes in. Is it Ezekiel? Is that. It is Ezekiel Sims.

Paul Scheer
Yes. In Ezekiel Sims, my voice will be like this sometimes. I don't even need to move my mouth. He does it all ADr his entire performance. I would believe you if you told me a different actor did it because it's so heavily admired.

I have gotten confirmation it's definitely him. But I think that the reasoning underneath why his voice sounds like this is because he's saying, fuck you for making me rerecord all my dialogue. Wow. Incredible. But so in his vision, he has spider vision or whatever it's called.

Jason Mantzoukas
And I'm sure we can find a Morgan out here. We call it a Morgan. Now, where we could probably find a Morgan who knows exactly about Madame Webb and her connection. She is. I have it.

Paul Scheer
Yeah, I have all the connections. Okay, well, in the comics, Madame Webb is an elderly woman. Yes, we do know that. And the reason why she is called Madame Webb is because she's hooked up to a life support system that looks like a big spider web. And.

Yeah, that's a big difference. And she is. I do know. She's her origin story, and this is her power. Her power set is the ability to see the potential futures that could go.

Jason Mantzoukas
That could happen. Right. Very much like a doctor strange kind of a thing. And then Ezekiel sims is just a rich businessman who gained some powers through a ritual. But he doesn't have the same powers as Madame Webb, which he does seem to have.

Spider man. But they also say, like, he was cursed. I'm like, pretty cool. When, like, when did he. I want.

I want to understand his curse. And is he trying. He doesn't even. Here's the thing. He's so obsessed with these three girls and them killing him, he doesn't even care that he's cursed.

Well, he doesn't seem to understand. I would think that would be priority number one. Wait, this cursed? And. And also, I think it's.

June Diane Raphael
And again, I really like this movie. So take this for, you know, this is my, I guess, only criticism, but it's tough when our villain doesn't have a bigger goal. Like, he's no goal. He's not trying to take over the city. He's not trying to unleash some sort of toxin and say he's just trying to stop these three specific girls who, to us, are adorable and, like, from killing him at some point in the future.

Jason Mantzoukas
Not only that, and they will get much older. Yes, they're gonna get much older. So he does have time. Like, time is of the. He's a gray haired man.

In his vision, when he's gray haired, that's when. But the other thing is, in these movies, usually the villain's plan is. Is unfolds in stages, and each one seems to ratchet up the stakes. Right? You know, heightening, heightening.

So by the time we get to act three, it's the joker has put a bomb on a ferry and ba ba ba ba ba, right? But in this movie, he's just like, I gotta kill. Like, I know there's fucking teenagers. This is getting embarrassing. Yeah.

June Diane Raphael
And he's like, you might be constance's daughter, but nonetheless, I still gotta kill these teenagers. Dosha Mamet should be dead 45 minutes in. She has failed him. He needs to get this shit done. He's a benevolent businessman, which we never understand what business he's protecting.

Paul Scheer
But my favorite part, and I guess this movie is trying very hard to, like, like, do, like, narration that you might read in a book, and they're trying to figure out, huh, how can we do it? How could you know? It's like, almost like video game narration. It's like, huh. A note.

What does that say? And he sits down next to that woman that he has sex with, and he's like, so let me tell you, I do have these visions every night. I'm an older man. These three women come in and they kill me. You don't know how scary it is.

Like, he monologues at her, and I'm like, no. Yes. This woman is gonna grab for mace. She's like, I've. I've slept with an insane person.

Jason Mantzoukas
Well, she's. He knows she's about to die. He knows she's about to die because he's infected her with his toxin. Yes. You know, so that he can get her information.

June Diane Raphael
Whatever he wants so that he can get. But I'm just. His entire plan is steal facial recognition software from the NSA in order to find out the identities of the three masked heroes who are teenagers now, who are going to kill him in the future. But. And we love them.

Paul Scheer
And the only images he has of them are so generated, the only images that he has of these three people are through a mask that then he would have to describe to Mamet. Like, he'd have to say, okay, I yes. Like, he's working with a sketch artist in a police station. Like, imagine what? The skin that he has to use is so minimal.

It's really just. We don't have a lot of surface. Area, a little lip. I wish we had seen that scene of him working with a sketch artist. And it's like.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's like a spider on the front of. She's wearing something with a spider on it. Yes. And then she's like, this seems like a comic book. Like, I would love it if she was like, these seem like heroes.

Are you a villain? Also, why the fuck does this guy have a costume? Yeah, why? He doesn't need a costume. He doesn't do anything except kill kids and not even kill kids free.

I don't know. And he doesn't even do that, really. We have no frame of reference. He keeps saying, they're going to take everything I've built away from me, but we never find out what that is. What did he build?

Who is he? Why do we care? And also, again, he seems to have more powers than anyone and no side effects. Morbius, you know, in a wheelchair. Then he has this Morbius power.

Paul Scheer
It's morbid time. He gets to go up there and do his thing. Venom. I get Venom. Venom's a symbiote from outer space.

He gets to be, like a doctor Jekyll mistride. This guy seems to be Spider man. And bad Spider man. He seems to be Spider man as a villain, but he doesn't seem to be doing anything as Spider man, except he's not using his powers. He's not out at night stealing, robbing, doing anything.

Jason Mantzoukas
He's just trying to murder the girls. He seems like whatever money he's raising is to buy the most advanced technology for 2003 to do facial recognition technology. Now, I'll say this as well. What bums me out, really, about this is this is not even really Spider man. It's not even in the Spider man universe.

Paul Scheer
It's like, deeper tier. This is, like, three tiers removed from Spider man because at least Venom is in. Technically, Venom exists in the Peter Parker world. Like, so does Madame Webb. I did say to you, Paul.

June Diane Raphael
No, because I said to Paul while we were watching, I said, is Spider man. Is Spider man, like, a part of this? He goes, no. Oh, not this movie. No, not this movie.

No, I know, but, like, a part of. Well, I mean, we see his birth. Peter Parker is born in this movie. Yes. So Peter Parker, that baby that's born.

Jason Mantzoukas
Picked a peck of pickled peppers. Adam Scott's name is Ben Parker. Yeah. And so Emma Roberts is his sister, who now, I guess we didn't meet Richard. Should there be an aunt May?

Paul Scheer
Well, I think that Ben marries May, but something awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Something awful happened. He's Uncle Ben.

Jason Mantzoukas
Sorry. So something terrible has happened to Emma Roberts character. I thought she was gonna die in childbirth. Now, I'll tell you this much. This movie does two things that make me angry.

Paul Scheer
One, Adam Scott. Great. Like, I watch Adam Scott, one of the best. Always lifting up the movie. Like, literally.

Jason Mantzoukas
I'll say it. I didn't care for him.

I didn't care for him. But they go so far out of their way to do this scene over chinese food where Adam says, I met this girl. Pretty serious, right? And you're like, oh. So now I feel like, okay, what?

Paul Scheer
And I'm like, oh, we're gonna see that. Maybe it's Mamet. Right? And, oh, he's, like, connected to the bad guy. Or some version of it would make a reveal.

A reveal of anything, I'll take at this point. But no, it's just. He's dating. Yeah, well. And we don't.

Jason Mantzoukas
I do think that is Aunt May. I think we are meant to believe. No, that's his sister. No, no, no. He is dating someone who's out of town later.

Says his girlfriend's gonna be out of town. Okay, so. But, yes. No, but. But to Paul's point, there's no.

June Diane Raphael
There's zero complications in this movie. It's the craziest thing. And, you know, again, we never find out. Who do those girls become? Who are they in this movie?

Paul Scheer
Well, I mean, can you say one more thing about this dating relationship thing? I think that might have been a studio note to be like, oh, well, you guys should have some chemistry together, and you guys should get together. They were fucking. They were. They.

Jason Mantzoukas
Were they intimate? They intimate that they were fucking. Okay. That's why I'm saying, hey, just so you know, I'm seeing someone now. So I didn't pick up on that.

I can't be that you up text anymore. Oh, okay. Right. Okay. Am I wrong?

June Diane Raphael
It's so hard. Wait a minute. Am I right? Am I wrong? Okay, I didn't get that sexual attention.

So now I didn't read that. Did you? I mean, did you read it when she said, hope the spiders were worth it? Mom, it's crazy how much exposition she does while talking to herself. I talk to myself constantly, but what I'm not doing is exposition.

Jason Mantzoukas
Cause guess what? I know what's going on now. I will give her, though. She has an incredible comedic scene where she tries to crawl up that wall and I laugh. So funny, Derek.

So funny. Agreed fully. It was quite loved it. I would have loved 1200 more of those. Now I.

That's the tone the movie should have had. And I'm trying to remember why she thought she was a spider. Because she reads her mother's journal for the first time and finds out all the specifics about the spider people, including that they can climb up, that they can climb stuff, as she has seen with Ezekiel. So she's like, maybe I can do that. And so she tries.

Paul Scheer
Yeah. So she thought that she. How would I know? She says, like, how would somebody. How would you know if you could climb the wall now?

June Diane Raphael
Funny, wild stuff. Honestly. Honestly, like in an acting class next level, just go to the wall and see if you can climb it. Nothing has given her any of that feeling.

Also, so good. Also, it's not clear that she has any powers. And so when she is, like, grabbing pieces of equipment and using it as a shield, I'm like, is that just Dakota Johnson strength or is that like. I think it's just Dakota Johnson. But I wanna.

Paul Scheer
I have two answers for you, but one is this. I think the director at one point said, just for fun, do it at a ten. And I feel like this is the scene where she really acts.

June Diane Raphael
Results came back. I'm sorry to tell you that your baby has myasthenia works. It's a genetic neuromuscular disorder. But I don't have a neuromuscular disorder. Life expectancy varies.

Do you need a tissue? No. No. I need a cure. I'm afraid there is no cure.

Single target nucleotide intervention. It's experimental, but there are some promising leads in the Amazon. That's why you weren't there. Jesus Christ. I have to advise you against traveling in her condition.

I'm sorry. What are you offering besides tissues? I know this is hard to accept. No, no, I am. I'm unwilling to accept a diagnosis of helplessness.

And I'm not going to teach my daughter to either.

Paul Scheer
You did it. You did it.

Now what? Now, I will tell you this much, June. Are you okay? I will tell you this much. In watching the movie, that felt like a shockwave to me.

I was like, wow, she really brought it. And then watching it isolated, I'm like, oh, I guess she was still low energy. No, it's crazy. It's absolute insanity that this is what's. Happening in the womb, by the way, you could never diagnose that condition in the womb.

And. And I will tell you this, June, just so you know, I didn't want it to answer your question. So Sydney Sweeney is Spider Woman. She becomes Spider Woman. Okay.

Jason Mantzoukas
And not Jessica Drew. Jessica Drew. Well, that is she. Jessica Drew. Julia.

Paul Scheer
Julia Cornwall, which is. Sydney Sweeney becomes Spider Woman. And then Julia Carpenter. Oh, no, sorry. Not Julia.

Sorry. Then Maddie Franklin. Oh, I guess she's also Spider Woman.

Yep, she is. And then I'm gonna have her own spider Woman. Aranya, which I think is just spider Woman in Spanish.

Jason Mantzoukas
When is Ezekiel has his. Instead of adopting Spider Woman, she took Aranya. In Ezekiel's vision, we see the three who we meet as the teenagers in, I guess, later in adulthood in their outfits with their powers, fighting and killing. What a fuck you this movie gives, right? And, boy, did I think we would catch up to that scene or that they would get their powers or those outfits or any of it, and none of it happened.

Paul Scheer
We just give Dakota Johnson some cataract glasses, put her in Professor Xavier wheelchair, and go, happy now, assholes. You know. We get not believe. It was not. It was just when she gets into, like, I put it, when she gets into, like, bless you, so and so.

June Diane Raphael
Yeah. That would. She's just predicting things that are happening momentarily. Like, that would be exhausting. When she said, I can see better than ever, oh, I was like, and.

Paul Scheer
You guys, I just want to go. Home and watch idol. And I. And idol, is she a villain? I thought that she meant idol.

That new show. The weekend's show. Yeah, the weekend show. That would be incredible if they cut to her alone in her apartment, feeding that cat, monologuing exposition. And in the background, it's just the idol.

June Diane Raphael
But here's what I did. Here's what I. I mean, at one point, I. At one point, while I was crying, I did shout out the words, it's so hard to be a teenage girl. You did?

And I did. I just shouted, especially if you're 32. So hard to be a teenage girl. Now, here's what worked for me. We're spending so much time on what didn't work.

Here's what worked for me. I really did. I found it very compelling, this story about, yes. A 30 something year old woman who has to take care of these kids. And has no maternal instincts and has no.

Jason Mantzoukas
Has no internal instincts, doesn't know how to deal with. The whole idea is that she is. Almost like there was a scene in a hospital that explained that she can't deal with people. But there was something about her intervening in their lives and them having their own trauma, all of them, and coming together and having four female leads where I was like, I'm sorry. I like this.

June Diane Raphael
I'm so sorry. I like what I'm seeing here. And. And I wish that it had held up or there was more to it, of course. But that piece, I was so.

I thought, I really loved. I wanted to watch the movie where they're a team. Where they're a team and they're doing their thing, you know, that's what I wanted, to watch that movie. And instead it was like, stay here. I'm going to Peru for a week to find the spider people in the jungle.

Jason Mantzoukas
Do you have the right stuff? I have a Jansport backpack that I'll wear over one shoulder, a grunge flannel around my waist. Will I get a guide? Absolutely not. I'm just going to use my mom's old journals to walk into the Amazon and find the spider people.

Oh, look, I did it. But here's the thing. I'm back. Here's the thing. I know.

June Diane Raphael
I know that we have our marvel source material to deal with, right? Not that much. Not that much. Okay. Cause to me, a better movie would have been.

Not even that she's any maternal instincts, but that she has this, like, arrested development where she's not an adult, and so she has to step in when all of these adults have failed these kids. Like, that's an interesting movie to see her become an adult because she has to for them. But that's not what we saw. She's so muted from b to b. I hate to break it to you, Scrooge, but you can't change anything.

Paul Scheer
Okay, I need to talk about this. When she. Sorry, I wrote down a bunch of lines. When she is in the doctors dealing with her clairvoyance, the doctor says, go watch some old movies. It's not Christmas time.

And she puts on the Christmas carol, the old black and white one. Like, when do you watch that? It's August Christmas carol. And I think the only reason why she put on the Christmas carol is because in the Christmas Carol, there are future visions. Yes.

That you can either opt. It's a template for her life story. You can either change and evolve and grow out of this future, or this is gonna be your future. And those are the paths in the web of connectivity.

Jason Mantzoukas
What? No, I just wanna go home and watch idol. Is she sassy? Because I feel like they write their character as sassy. They're like, brag much?

June Diane Raphael
And she's like, also, I was bragging then. Like, she doesn't like anyone or anything. It's a tough character shirt. She's a tough hang when she's at Emma Roberts bachelorette or no baby shower. And she puts in a blank slip for things that connect her to her mother, who she never knew.

Jason Mantzoukas
And Emma Roberts is like, whose is this? And she's like, oh, that's fine. Oh, what's this about? You left a blank. She's like, oh, I didn't know my mother.

She died during childbirth. That was. Oh, but I don't mean that that's gonna happen to you. Death in childbirth happens very rarely. She chose to be in the Amazon during.

Should I be talking right now? I seem like someone who doesn't want to be the center of attention, but I can't stop being the center of attention. Okay. Because think about it. I loved it.

Five stars. I loved it, too, because think about it, Jason. Like, okay, she didn't have to put in anything. Like, she could have just sat out of. She could have walked out and gone back to the barbecue with the guys and then, like, what's up?

June Diane Raphael
Or she could have just let that game play out, but instead she puts a blank paper down. You know what? This needs to be about me. She knows it's gonna get picked. Every one of those slips gets picked.

Paul Scheer
It's so. I mean, at least she had a Pepsi in her hand. She walks into that party, they force a Pepsi onto her. The fact that Pepsi plays such a large part. So Marvel and Coke, that's a thing.

Marvel movies and coke are tied together. So Sony goes, Pepsi. Sony's like, hold my Pepsi. Yeah. And then I guess somewhere along the way they go, wouldn't it be cool if a Pepsi sign kills the villain?

Like, what if Pepsi. What if Pepsi was so powerful that it kills the. Pepsi is the hero of this movie 1000% Paul. And it's not even like she shoots something or pushes something over that moves that giant Pepsi s. It's like it does it of its own accord.

Jason Mantzoukas
And she and her act of heroism is knowing it's. It's going to fall in the future. Why does she. I mean, I know that. Do you think that alleviates her from the guilt of killing someone?

That she didn't push him in front of it, she just lured him where she knew he would be killed? Well, yeah. There were people in that helicopter. You guys, like, don't forget them. Don't forget June.

Paul Scheer
Not just people. EMTs because she does call. Like, we have an emergency transport situation. Those are those poor people. They're like, we have nowhere to land.

June Diane Raphael
Like, I don't know why you brought us here. Quick, head to the abandoned fireworks factory. Okay? I mean, that's a fucking Warner Brothers cartoon. I mean, that is fucking tunes.

Jason Mantzoukas
So much of it wasn't even shown. It was just the audio of fireworks in the background. But. But those fireworks. What a crazy.

June Diane Raphael
Like, to me, I was like, oh, she fucked up. Like, she fucked up. She shouldn't have done that. Cause those fireworks end up almost killing her. And the girl, well, she's blinded by a firework.

Jason Mantzoukas
She is underwater. I didn't realize that. An underwater firework blinds her. That's how good they are. But thank God.

Thank God she has taught all three girls the only piece of health, the only piece of life, lifesaving. She's taught them all CPR. Chest compressions are good for everything. Every single call she goes on is a paramedic. Chest compressions.

You would think from this movie. Cause there's somebody, the EMT, who gets injured in the ambulance and he's covered in blood. He clearly has injuries. And she's just giving him chest. I believe he would have lived if she had treated.

If she treated his actual injury. Pushed his heart out of his body. He had open wounds, and she just was like, chest compressions, by the way, the only thing I know. What if that's our shirt? Push here.

Paul Scheer
Like, just hands. Like, I will say this, and again, this movie, like, one of the cool things that they do in that sequence is how they have to work together to do a chest compression. Because, you know, sometimes you get, like, tired. You're like, somebody get in here. Finish my chest compression after minutes.

Jason Mantzoukas
After minutes. They switch after every. After, like 5 seconds. Yes. But I was.

June Diane Raphael
I was actually glad, as somebody who's always up to date on her CPR, I was glad. Thank you so much. I was glad to see, like, yeah, people do get tired. If you're doing it correctly, you do tire out pretty quickly. And so it is important for other people to come in on the beach.

Jason Mantzoukas
Absolutely. And by the way, I agree with all this, but it would also lead me to believe that at the end, they would all take turns to revive. Only two? Yep, only two. Do they do switch once?

Paul Scheer
Why? After, like, two pumps. Oh, you're calling them a two pump chum. You're calling these teenage girls. Paul Scheer is calling these teenage girls two pump jumps.

Jason Mantzoukas
Wow. Blurb that on the book. The best part to me is like, when they do explain stuff, like, she goes, don't shake his hand for too long. It has a powerful neurotoxin. And then Sidney Sweeney goes, then what happens?

Yeah, you're dead. You're dead. Yeah, you're dead. That's what happened. What do you think is gonna happen?

That's the crazy, ugh, neurotoxin. What happens then? Then you die. And then what? Then you're given a choice.

Paul Scheer
Heaven or hell or purgatory. Then what? You pick. Purgatory. Then what?

June Diane Raphael
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Hosting can fit into your lifestyle and is a great way to earn some extra money. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much@airbnb.com. host this is an insane movie, don't you think? After she crashes a taxicab, they steal a taxicab, crashes it into the diner, right?

Jason Mantzoukas
She has been accused of abducting these three girls. They know who she is. All of this stuff is happening. Wouldn't there be people who would be on the lookout for a yellow cab with four women in it? And they are good.

They're bopping all over town. Well, I mean, who was that road stop truck driver who's like, I see the girls. Yeah. And then he calls. Not the cops.

Oh, no. He calls some sort of hotline that Zosia Mamet is able to hide. Oh, intercept. Yes, you're right, you're right. But they seem like, what?

You're right. That's a scene in a movie where they would be, like, in the diner and on the tv, their pictures would be playing on the news, and they'd be like, uh oh, we're in trouble. Busted. But instead, it's like a trucker's. Like, those are the girls.

Paul Scheer
Yeah. Like, he had seen it earlier in the day at a photographic memory of these three girls. I think they were on his newspaper. But when they're dancing on a table, nobody is like, aren't those the girls? Aren't those those kidnapped girls that are being forced against their.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like, what movie? Like, what do you want from me? I found it. I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but after the subway sequence, and I really liked that sequence, I really enjoyed it after the subway sequence, when they are. Well, they should be running out of the subway.

June Diane Raphael
They all four of them walk like this, out of the subway stairs.

Paul Scheer
Right? They're lies, moseying, strolling, strolling away. I'm like. And I think it's hard, because if I am those three other actresses, I see our lead number one on the call sheet walking like that, and I'm like, well, I'm not gonna race past her. Like, they all kind of adopted her energy at points and it's like this man just tried to kill all of.

Jason Mantzoukas
You seconds ago, but everyone is walking at a leisurely amble. I have a theory for the back half of the movie. Why she's low energy jet lag from. Her trip to Peru in Beverly in a Cessna. She flies to Peru in a two seater Cessna from New York City, by the way.

I'm so sorry. I don't think so. I'm not even gonna get into the fact that the photo that she's using for reference is 30 years old. I'll buy that. But how would you go.

Paul Scheer
Take me to this photo? Like. Like, to get to that jungle? Absolutely. Absolutely.

Jason Mantzoukas
When Emma Roberts goes into labor, Adam Scott, who, again, I didn't care for at all. Yeah, you keep saying that. Is like, okay, I gotta take you to the hospital, obviously. I'm watching these three orphans who a spider man character is trying to murder instead of having them stay in the house. Why did they go?

You guys need to come with us. Come with us to the hospital, where there will unquestionably be cameras in myriad ways. So every step of the way, everybody in the movie is a moron. Everybody, when confronted with a choice, makes the dumbest choice. Every time.

Every time. I feel like Dakota Johnson enters the web, the mind web, whatever that's called, I feel like she's kind of like, what is this? No matter how many times it's shown to her, she's like. She comes. Keeps coming out of it.

Paul Scheer
Like, well, she comes out of it mad. Like, you just said that to me. Fucking jerk. Which now, the fourth time, you're the problem. The first two times, yes.

Jason Mantzoukas
But an hour and 35 minutes into the movie, she should be like, I know exactly what's happening. I can activate. Don't worry. She's like, what the hey? I also found it troubling that the only way she uses that, like, the only way she tries to stop what she sees in the future is with vehicles.

June Diane Raphael
Like, there's no other way. The pigeon way, I guess. The pigeon. No, no, you're right, though. But I was like, I can't believe she's back in a vehicle, trying to.

Paul Scheer
I mean, this might be the greatest stunt of all time. Arguably. It takes place in 42nd street. Right? This is the vehicle driving.

This is where her. Again, not her spider skills, her EMT driving skills. Not. Yeah, driving skills are big here. Here we go.

Jason Mantzoukas
You're right. She can't fight Ezekiel in any way, shape, or form. Gotta hit him with a car. Only hits him with increasingly larger vehicles. Yep.

June Diane Raphael
That's it. That's it. Her fists are cars. Well, you know what they say. Until she takes on the responsibility, great power will come.

Okay? So I want to talk about that, because when she. Is that what happens at the end in the Pepsi sequence where she sort of webs her. Well, okay, let me walk you back. Just.

Paul Scheer
This is maybe something that you don't know from the Spider man world. There is a very famous phrase that is pretty much associated with Spider man, said in every version of the Spider man movie. It's an Uncle Ben quote that is like the touchstone of the Spider man story. Okay. I love when two men are telling me about Marvel.

June Diane Raphael
I love this. I love this. Do you know I love this moment. No, I don't love this. It is, with.

With great power comes great responsibility. You just said it. Oh, well, yeah, that's the Spider man for this. That is the mantra of the Spider man story. Okay.

Jason Mantzoukas
From Uncle Ben Scott. What if we just switch a little bit? What if. I see where you're saying, what if we inverted it? Yeah.

June Diane Raphael
Wow. I didn't even realize that that came from that. Like, oh, yeah. Can I admit something? That's one of the moments that I teared up.

What? Oh, I feel very connected to that line. And here it is played out. You didn't tear. You can't save all three.

Paul Scheer
And when you take on your responsibility. Great power will come. It doesn't fall off the tongue at all. It doesn't roll off. Just hear it again.

Just hear it again.

And when you take on the responsibility. Great power will come. And when you take on the responsibility, great power will come. What? It's like the movie, though.

June Diane Raphael
It's like, I don't know if I'm in the past or the present tense. I don't know. But yet, like, there are tears in my eyes and I'm inexplicably writing a five star review on Amazon. Wow. I don't know.

Jason Mantzoukas
Thank you, Madame Webb. You did it again. She. Wow. I mean, and that's the other thing too.

Paul Scheer
There's a whole part of me that thinks that now is Spider man cultural appropriation because he's clearly stolen his costume. Oh. Like, everything that I thought is like, well, from these Amazon warriors. Yeah, he took that. The phrase that he was given by Uncle Ben came from Bunkle.

Ben botched it. Oh, yeah. Right. So, like. So Madame Webb said it to him, and he's like, ah, I think I.

Jason Mantzoukas
Remember Madame Webb said it first. I'm sure she's gonna say it to Ben Parker. It's like when my dad is trying to explain something to me, he's like, yeah, you know, with great power comes great responsibility. I think that's what she said. And then aunt maybe.

Paul Scheer
No, she said, when you take on the responsibility, great power comes. And then I'm really.

Like, that's what this movie is hypothesizing. Wait a second. Ben heard it wrong. But what you're telling me is that Adam Scott is currently falling in love with a young Marissa Tomei. No.

No. Yes. No. Yes. Tom Holland.

Jason Mantzoukas
She's aunt May for Tom Holland. Oh, I guess you're right. Well, I mean, this is right. And he's the age. He is the correct age to have been born in.

What is this, 2003? Yeah. Okay, you're right. Yeah. I believe that is Tom Holland's spider man.

Paul Scheer
No, no, that would be weird because Marisa Tomei. Marissa Tome. Well, I guess Uncle Ben would be so old. Not so old because Marisa Tomei is not so old. But in 20 years from now, Adam.

Jason Mantzoukas
Scott will be like, it's not 20 years from now. It's 20 years from 2012.

Paul Scheer
No. Oh, no, no. What do you mean? This movie takes place in 2003. Sure.

So 2024. Marisa Tomei. Is Marisa Tomei currently, like, so how old is that?

Jason Mantzoukas
For those listening, June has gone home.

I understand what you're saying. I believe we're meant to think that this is Tom Holland. But, I mean, I'm also gonna say that in the merce Tom Holland thing, there's no uncle Ben. Yeah. Rip a legend, I think.

Paul Scheer
Sorry. Jude's gonna die. All right. Sorry. Have you solved anything?

Jason Mantzoukas
Even I loved when Dakota inexplicably had, like, a full on Steve Rogers shield moment where she takes, like, a piece of the roof and is just like, with the fireworks. Just, like, knows where every fireworks gonna hit and is just doing straight up shield work. Well here. So just to Kim, I'm going back to the line again, but to go back to that moment of when she says, if you accept your responsibility, then great power will come. Here's the thing about movies.

June Diane Raphael
Like, we want things to be dramatized and there has to be some action to it. Like, nothing happens in that. I believe she's meant to be taking responsibility for these three. I understand that, but I'm also like, but there's something needed to happen. What we should have seen is that she should have been about to make a selfish choice and then have come back to a real.

There is where we are expected to understand that from her going.

Paul Scheer
Right, right. And you're right. Like, she hasn't actually, like, I think that, like, she's already made that choice for great responsibility. No, I don't think she. I mean, yes and no.

Jason Mantzoukas
I think the movie is saying, because I think that's why they keep having her say, like, I'm gonna send you back to your parents. I'm gonna drop you off. I'm gonna get rid of you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And here she's like, no, they're, all three of them are inexplicably hanging from roof beams. So you're saying in that moment, okay, so what I would buy, she has been doing that the whole time.

June Diane Raphael
But here's what I would buy, is if. Cause what ends up happening is she does save all three. If, much like a mother's instinct, she can't distinguish between who she's. I think maybe that's what maybe you're going for. And so that says you can't save them.

All right? And so that is how she understands. But I'm having to put this together now. It's also, you know, and that's also so much work. It's also what the guy in Peru says to her is like, you don't.

Jason Mantzoukas
The. The Spider man in Peru, he's like, you don't know the power that you have yet. You haven't yet, like, tapped into with a true potential of whatever. But then, but then I feel like there's a part of me that believes that when she does tap into that power, she loses the spider power in a way, because then she becomes, she becomes paralyzed. But I know she got hit in the face.

She kind of becomes Doctor Manhattan. Kind of becomes like, I see everything. Everything is fine. Everything's okay. But when I saw her in that wheelchair at the end, I was like, huh?

Paul Scheer
Yeah, I guess the blind. The blind is cool. I'm like, this is like daredevil. This is kind of cool. But that fucking wheelchair was like, that was an odd choice.

I thought maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. That's the character in the comics. Well, but she's hooked up to life support, and she's almost dying now. By the way, I did just do some research.

At this point in Marisa Tomei's life, she'll be 39, so it does make sense that Adam Scott would be dating now. Thank you, Paul, for doing the research. If you could just send me any of those links for young Marisa Tomei or actually contemporary Marisa Tomei right now. Marissa. So they actually would make a fine couple, I think, you know, they'd be fine.

June Diane Raphael
I am honestly glad we figured it out, because we would have been working on it afterward and at home, and so I am actually glad it sort. Of gotta get the bar graphs out. What's so interesting is. Yeah, no, I guess Uncle Ben doesn't live long enough. But Aunt May never says anything about Madame Webb.

Paul Scheer
She has to. That's. She's so close to Madame Webb, you know? And then she has Spider man as a nephew, and you would think she'd be like, hey, I know Madame Webb. Well, all right, so in this world, what?

Jason Mantzoukas
Jusnez Madame Webb zu daro. In this world, Emma Roberts and her husband die, rip, rip. On some fun adventure cruise ship disaster. Now, then the baby is left with Adam Scott. Okay, I buy that.

Paul Scheer
Sure. Then he dies. Then Aunt May is like, fuck, all right, that is my kid. Like, so he's very far removed from this family. Oh, yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
Wow. Well, you don't feel like an ant. Even if you're not a blood ant. Like, you're still an ant. I just feel like I'm.

Why don't we use the term blood ant? More like you're still an ant. Part of the cultural lab lexicon. Oh, that's my blood. And, I mean, I would hope not blood.

June Diane Raphael
I would hope that with my blood uncle. I would hope that with your nephews, who are my sisters. No, no, you don't feel like. Why the fuck would they be left with me? Like, blood related to them.

Paul Scheer
Whatever. We make the t shirt tonight. Can we please just also make blood aunt and blood uncle t shirts? Blood aunt, blood uncle. No, I I guess.

I guess what I'm like, just taking in is the amount of tragedy that has hit this family. Oh, yeah. Cause it's like, where's Richard? And I'm gonna. I'm gonna go one step further and go.

Richard never comes home. Richard was in a car accident. He missed his son's birth. Oh, my God. We're dealing with that.

Then maybe a year or two passes, something terrible happens to Emma Roberts. And they're like, okay. And then we get Adam Scott, and he's like, all right, got this baby. This is going to be great. Maybe they rush their marriage a little bit.

And Adam Scott's never. He's not super happy with May, and he's out late drinking. He gets hit by a cab. And Marissa told me, he's like, oh, my God. And she's like, now I got this kid from this loveless marriage I don't even have a connection to his family because they're all fucking dead.

She's got a lot of weight on her. Can I tell you something? And you know who knows every one of those beats of life? Madame Webb. She doesn't stop any of that from happening.

Jason Mantzoukas
This bitch knows everything that's going on in the future. She's like, I'll let you die. I'll let you die. I'll let you die. Everybody dies so that I can get a spider man.

Paul Scheer
Let's turn on the house lights here. We'll go out to the audience, see what y'all have. All right, what's your name? I am Jeff. Okay, Jeff, what's your question?

So, first, want to say, in the comics, Madame Webb is actually a mutant. So none of the Peru, right? Yeah, but. Right. You didn't care to mention that?

I didn't. An hour and 43 minutes of this podcast. Her powers are not spider related at all. She's just a mutant. She's an X Man.

June Diane Raphael
She's an X Man. I mean, she's in a mutant a la the. I didn't want to, like, get all nerdy with y'all. Like. Like, it was enough to be like, why?

Jason Mantzoukas
Because you wanted to be cool. You wanted to protect your. You wanted to protect your cool guy image. So I'm so sorry. I don't want to tell you about mutants and X Men.

I want to be cool. I just wanted to simplify that. Cause they really do. Yeah, this should. She should be an X Men.

Paul Scheer
And I feel like somebody wasn't minding the mint because Sony doesn't have rights to the X Men. No. And so I feel like they're, like they kind of snuck it in. Okay. But anyway, go ahead.

My question is regarding Ezekiel sims and his lack of footwear. And I wanted to just see how we all felt about that. My assumption on that, because I know. My assumption is that. Yeah.

Jason Mantzoukas
My assumption is that it's so he can do his web crawling. You know, he needs his feet to be able to. His hands and feet to be able to, like, web crawl. Right. But he uses footwear in his scuba outfit.

Oh. So he's just walking around New York City barefoot for fun. But that's like a very rich person thing to do. Like Howard Hughes. And you know how.

Paul Scheer
You know how, you know, millionaire with no shoes. You know how, you know, he's rich. He drives a new Corvette. He's got, like, thirty five k to burn on a brand new Corvette. When he drove away in the Corvette.

Jason Mantzoukas
I was like, this guy's not a threat. This guy's not a threat at all. He drives a base model corvette. Get out of town, Ezekiel. All right, your name, your question.

Paul Scheer
My name is Storm, and. Whoa. When we first meet Las Haranias, they're, like, covered in red paint and, like, rope or something like that. Fast forward 30 years later, they're basically, no disrespect. Dressed like Jason right now.

Like, in a white button down.

June Diane Raphael
He said no disrespect. I more so mean, like, who?

Paul Scheer
Jason? You've got a lot of nerves.

Jason Mantzoukas
What if I just, like, with vines? Like. Like, shot up into the rafters? Like, I have a theory. So I have a theory on this.

Paul Scheer
And again, this is for a larger substack article I'm writing. So I believe that Los Aranyas, at the time of her mother's death, were a part of that crew watching to make sure that the land was protected. And they. That's like their Clark Kent superhero, like, their Clark Kent Superman kind of identity. So they're in the world, but they're also spider men.

And so that's how they wanted her. To take that spider. I think that they understood that she was only there to help her baby. And by the way, best reveal of a baby ever. Like, the way she lives up.

But I believe that that culture was. This is, again, in my substack, a very large 25 paragraphs just on this opening scene. I believe that that culture is like, you know what? Let's have her get a bite by the spider so she can cure her baby. Cause she's not trying to do anything more with the spider.

She's just trying to cure her baby. That's what she's trying to do. But I think when Dakota Johnson goes to Peru and meets with the guy and he's dressed in normal street clothes, that's reshoots. I think that is just reshoots. I think that is.

But doesn't he get in the clothes in the cave? Nope. Oh, he doesn't get into any of that stuff like that. He's wearing, like. He's dressed in street clothes, essentially.

Interesting. And everybody speaks just flawless american English. Oh, yeah, he did speak pretty good. Which I was like, I'm so sorry. This lost tribe of spider people is just like, hey, what's up?

Jason Mantzoukas
You. You wanna. You wanna do spider shit? Oh, come take a milk bath. What's up?

Spider shit? Here. Amazon Peru. Ba ba ba. What?

Come on. Yes. Your name, your question. Stacy. And we've called them orphans.

June Diane Raphael
A few times tonight. But none of them are orphans. And it was very concerning because one of them, their parents got deported and nothing about it. One of them, she had a mom back in California, and her stepmom just didn't like her. Yes, I believe her mother was institutional.

Her parents were rich and just. It's just runaways, right? They're more run. Cause at one point. Oh, they're more like their parents have, like.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like forsaken them. Yes. I I don't know if their parents know they're gone. No, they're pretty. Sweeney don't know they're gone.

Sidney Sweeney says she ran away. That's for sure. After her mom died in the end. No, her mother is institutionalized. Right.

June Diane Raphael
Okay, her mother's institutionalized, but her dad, we just saw her with. Her dad has a step. She has a stepmom, but her mom is. Her real mom is across this country in a. The one who has the parents deported had a little brother.

I thought. Oh, God. Did she? No, I don't think so, Stacey. I think she was alone in that apartment.

Jason Mantzoukas
I think so, too. I I think the little brother with the picture was. Was with sidney Sweeney. That was Sidney sweeney's father's new son. But.

June Diane Raphael
But your point. Your point is a good one. Five stars, and you got. And you guys tried to stop me from getting Marissa Tomei's age. How dare you?

Jason Mantzoukas
But you're right. You're right. They are not. The only orphans, I believe, is Dakota Johnson. But yet, we don't know who her father is, though.

Paul Scheer
But yet the question, the thing that remains is at the end of the film, you know, they're all in the hospital room. They're like family only. And she's like, they are. Yeah, but that's also like kidnapping on some level, too. They're not.

They're not family. They are not. They are not family at all. And they all have active and rich families, and they could probably buy great face recognition technology. I wish I knew what his whole thing was.

Jason Mantzoukas
Boy, would it have been more fun if he was like. If he had. If there was any dimensionality to the villain. If I was like, what's he like? What is it like?

June Diane Raphael
He's just long hair. Yeah. You know, that's it. Yeah. And a voice like this.

Jason Mantzoukas
Yeah. All right. Yes. Your name? Your question?

Paul Scheer
Yeah, my name's Andres. And there was a scene in the diner scene. Specifically, they bring up Churchill. So it's in Churchill, New Jersey, which I guess from New York. Churchill is 1516 hundred miles.

Okay. Why is the Midtown high school team at this diner that is 1600 miles from midtown, by the way. I don't think they have a Midtown high school team. Also, as a New York city resident, I don't think that they. They have, like, PS 145, Midtown.

I don't really know. I thought the casting of the. I actually thought about those guys at the table quite a bit, because. Because I feel like. No, but that's why.

June Diane Raphael
I feel like they were trying to make them, like, hunky but not too old. But the actors were older, but they were playing high school students. Well, that was everybody. They had to match to the girls who were all 30. Something comes out in the same.

Jason Mantzoukas
If they had cast actual teenagers as those boys and these girls walked up to them, you'd be like, get these. Get these guys out of here. These milfs are trying to fuck em.

What is this, a cougar movie? Get out of here. I bought them as teenage girls, though. I didn't. I didn't blink an eye.

Paul Scheer
And your question? My name's Alison. I just wanted to put in a plug. As someone who also is up to date on their CPR every year, implore you, take a professional course. Do not learn CPR from this movie.

June Diane Raphael
There was. I mean, not just like, the. Taking breaks so quickly, you know, you're not keeping up the pressure that way, but also the rate was way too slow. Yeah, there was some one handed CPR. She was not looking.

She was not paying attention. She was doing CPR. And then suddenly the people were, like, magically just okay. Yeah, it's really a. You're gonna be okay.

Jason Mantzoukas
You're gonna be okay. Don't worry about it. You're gonna be okay. Let that be. That's what she says to that guy.

She's giving CPR to. Let that be one thing you take away from this movie. Do not learn CPR from watching it. Or I learned CPR from Madame Webb. That's it.

Paul Scheer
That is. That's a great shirt. Madame. Madame Webb. CPR certified.

Jason Mantzoukas
Good. That's it. Okay. I guarantee you. I guarantee you, within the year, if not already, there will be a news story about some kid saving someone's life from using CPR.

They learned from Madame Webb, I promise. And when that happens, you guys all owe me money. I will just say this one thing. Cause we did talk about this diner scene a lot, and I thought this was interesting. So the director wanted this film to be a commentary on toxic masculinity and how it's a poison to strong, independent women.

Paul Scheer
And Ezekiel Sims is a man who's trying to kill three young women with toxic powers. This is clearly toxic masculinity which is emphasized and why the film is set in 2004 or three for Britney Spears is toxic, which came out in 2004. So it's weird. But the only. So according to the producer, the filmmakers set the film in 2003 so they could feature the song toxic.

June Diane Raphael
So this whole movie was just backing into getting toxic. Why did they need it to be a new release? Well, that song still exists now quite a bit. And the dirt. Everybody knows that song.

Paul Scheer
And the DJ does say that song's from Britney Spears and she's gonna be a big star. She already was. I would argue that that was the apex of her career. Like you weren't predicting it. So there's also been a lot of talk online that if that DJ was to play it, he was playing like a deep track off of this Britney Spears album.

So that is interesting. Yeah, that is an interesting one. I hope all the second opinion songs are too toxic. Let's hear some second opinions right now. That's right.

We have opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for second opinions.

Jason Mantzoukas
Madam Webb. Madam Webb does whatever a spider can't. Driving skills. ADR, Adam Scott, CPR. Look out, here comes five stars.

Oh, great job. That was great. Oh, hold on. Take this, sir. Take all these pepsis.

Paul Scheer
Give them to your friend. You did a great job.

Jason Mantzoukas
Wow. All right. Only four more hours left in the show. Here we go. Madame Webb came out this year.

Paul Scheer
There are just 1000 reviews on Amazon. And as we've found with movies that come out the same year that we do them, there's not that much to pull from. We've been finding that letterboxes a lot better for the more recent films. And this one goes like this by Felix. Villain is too scary.

Couldn't finish it. Five stars.

Jason Mantzoukas
I wish that they, that they were specific and that they thought that Madame Webb was the villain. John Thinder writes genuinely makes no sense how people think. The line in the trailer, he was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died. Is bad how it's telling us what's going on. It's necessary to the plot.

Paul Scheer
They say it's unnatural, which, uh. No, that's how people talk. Five stars.

And then, uh, the last one from egghead human, uh, egghead human rights. These girl bosses are slaying five stars. Incredible. Yeah. So.

Jason Mantzoukas
Oh, I wish their team was called the girl bosses. The whole cast came out against this movie in a crazy way. That's terrible. That's terrible. Dakota Johnson said, this film is unrecognizable from the version that I saw the script of.

Paul Scheer
Yeah. She told people not to go see this movie. Wow. Multiple times when those people were on the red carpet, they said, this movie opens on Valentine's Day. What do you want to tell people to do?

Said, stay home, go sleep. No way, Sydney. Sweetie said, I'm gonna go to sleep. Like, I've never seen so many people that are in a movie shit on a movie when it was in the theater. They're like, wild.

Nope. But we would like you to reconsider. Yeah. Because this was dynamite.

I liked it. I did too. I did too. And in fact, I think that I. I think knowing that it was so universally hated and people had such strong feelings about, you know, her doing Marvel and all female leads in Marvel.

June Diane Raphael
Like, I was like, I wonder what this is. And I really. I enjoyed myself. And it was over 2 hours and felt somehow shorter than a full wedding blew by. Inexplicable, beautiful wedding.

Jason Mantzoukas
Seemed to me, the movie we did last night. Oh, I remember it. About 7 hours to watch. It seemed to be. It was the longest movie.

It was a mini series. It felt the longest series. I feel like I'm still watching. I feel like we're still. We're just inside beautiful wedding and in this.

June Diane Raphael
This was a breath of fresh air. And again. Yeah, I mean, Jason, we're not. Well, you know, we're not okay. Like, we're so not okay in terms of what we are consuming for this podcast.

That. But obviously, take that with a grain of salt. But, boy, it went down quite easy. I thought it was way better than the way that people talked about it. Like, there are things in it.

Jason Mantzoukas
You know what? I thought it was better than Morbius. Oh, yeah. I thought this was better than Morbius. I want you to think you've got to watch Madame Webb or Morbius right now.

I'd be like Madame Webb because one of them, I have to watch Jared Leto. So I'm more. I'm Madame Webb all the way. I do believe that. I like Jared Leto's enthusiasm for it.

Paul Scheer
It feels like there are moments in this movie where everyone's like, when's lunch? Yeah, yeah. And in one scene, you can visibly see Sidney Sweeney having, like, a crafty coffee.

Jason Mantzoukas
How's your eyesight?

Paul Scheer
But it's a shame because. How's your eyesight? That's what she asks. How is your eyesight? You know, you were in the hospital.

Jason Mantzoukas
It's not good, it's bad. What a thing to ask. I will tell you the original script, the premise of the original movie was Terminator inspired. Okay. Madame Webb and the Spider Woman were trying to protect a pregnant Mary Parker from a time traveling Ezekiel sims who wants to kill her to prevent the birth of Peter Parker.

Paul Scheer
That was the original idea, which is aces, in my opinion. I get it. I understand why he's doing that. And they have a very clear mission. Great.

June Diane Raphael
Wow. But my guess is they didn't do it because it required Peter Parker to be the focal point of the thing. And Sony won't. Is that it? Is that the.

Paul Scheer
There is no reason. Oh, okay. No reason was given. I'm sorry that I'm looking for logic as to why it got shifted into this pile of hot diarrhea that I loved. I believe.

June Diane Raphael
I think this was just meant to be an origin story. But it's so strange, you know, it doesn't. Right? And then. Are you telling me for 20 years there's been three spider women running around New York City?

Paul Scheer
So when Spider man shows up, they're like, oh, yeah, we know this. But I'm assuming we spent the last. Two decades, three women just bopping around solving crimes. I'm assuming this is a different unit. This is like a multiverse, dumb stuff.

Jason Mantzoukas
Like Spider man would get sucked into this universe as himself. I don't know. Or this is Tom Holland and we're all like, who cares? The good news is, when they asked the producer of the movie, they said, is this a superhero movie? The producer of the movie said, no, it's a thriller.

June Diane Raphael
A thriller? A thriller? I thought that was an odd choice. A thriller thriller. I thought you were gonna say, like.

Jason Mantzoukas
Thriller, just like, ambulance or bring out the dead. Like those ambulances thriller. Wow. I don't know. It's a real thinker.

Paul Scheer
Clairvoyant thriller. Sure. Well, I think we all agree that we will recommend this movie. Yeah. I might even give this a second watch.

June Diane Raphael
I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna watch it tonight. I think a dream night would be like to take a little gummy, smoke a little weed and put. You're doing a gummy and smoking weed? Yeah, it's Faddam Web, baby.

Time for some damn web. I think this is like, do a. Little h. Take a gummy, get that substance I gave Michael Jackson called milk. It was propofol.

Throw it up. It was propofol. It's what I got when I was getting my colonoscopy. And the guy was like, hey, big fan. As I was like, what world am I in, Madame Webb.

Paul Scheer
Now, when you came out of that colonoscopy, could you see the future? I wish. I wish, I wish, like, some pathway came out of my asshole and connected me to the people that matter, because that's where silk comes from in spiders. And that is our show. Thank you so much for coming out.

Thank you. La. We'll be back soon. Eat shit, la. That's a wrap on Madam Webb.

Thanks as always to the wonderful staff at Largo and our recording engineer, Rich Garcia. If you want the t shirt that we created for this episode which says Madam Webb, CPR certified with the handprints on the chest, go to tpublic.com stores. HDTGM next week on last looks, we'll be going over Madame Webb corrections and omissions. So if you have something about the movie to get off your chest, leave me a voicemail at 619 p a U L a S K or write a comment on our discord at discord gg hdtgm. And a reminder, my book is out there, so go get it.

Joyful recollections of trauma. You can get it wherever you get your books and keep those reviews coming. And thank you so much once again. Make sure you see us in Nantucket at the film festival. And then Father's Day, we'll be performing in Boston at the Wilbur Theatre.

All right, you can find us online at HDTGM. That's right, everywhere you can go online, you'll find us at HDTGM. And last but not least, I have to say thank you to all of our listeners who support this show every week and our entire team who this show couldn't be done without. I'm talking about our very own producers, Scott Sanni, Molly Reynolds, and our movie picking producer, Averell Halley, and our engineer, Casey Holford, as well as our associate producer, Jess Cisneros. That's all I got, people.

Bye for now. At Amica Insurance, we know it's more than just a car. It's the two door coupe that was there for your first drive, the hatchback that took you cross country and back, and the minivan that tackles the weekly carpool for the cars you couldn't live without. Trust Amica Auto Insurance. Amica empathy is our best policy.

Jason Mantzoukas
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Madame Web LIVE!

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1: Introduction

2: Plot Discussion

3: Character Analysis

4: Connection to Marvel

5: Final Thoughts

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