Primary Topic
This episode of NPR's Fresh Air features discussions with musician St. Vincent and child psychiatrist Harold Koplowitz, focusing on artistic expression and child psychology in today's anxiety-filled era.
Episode Summary
Main Takeaways
- St. Vincent's artistic persona is a crafted identity that allows deeper exploration and expression in her music.
- The discussion reveals how personal experiences, like the incarceration of a family member, significantly shape St. Vincent's music.
- Harold Koplowitz emphasizes the increasing mental health challenges among children, exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic and social media.
- Koplowitz provides strategies for parents to help manage their children's anxiety and ensure their psychological well-being.
- The episode provides a unique juxtaposition of art's role in personal expression and mental health's impact on societal well-being.
Episode Chapters
1: Introduction to St. Vincent
Terry Gross introduces St. Vincent, discussing her background, musical style, and the thematic core of her new album "All Born Screaming". The chapter sets the stage for a deep dive into her personal and professional life.
- St. Vincent: "I want to have a moniker because I felt like it would give me license and freedom to be bigger than Annie Clark."
2: Deep Dive with Harold Koplowitz
This chapter features a detailed discussion with child psychiatrist Harold Koplowitz about his new book and insights on raising children in an anxiety-filled era.
- Harold Koplowitz: "Our kids are not okay, and unfortunately, they weren't doing very well before COVID but COVID has had a negative effect."
3: Linking Personal Experiences with Music
St. Vincent shares how personal experiences, particularly her father's incarceration, influence her music and personal identity.
- St. Vincent: "My father's imprisonment significantly shaped the emotional undertone of my music."
4: Strategies for Parenting in Today's World
Koplowitz offers practical advice for parents dealing with children's anxiety, emphasizing the role of monitoring social media interaction and fostering real-world connections.
- Harold Koplowitz: "You have to be very aware that their usage of social media could potentially be toxic, and it has to be controlled."
Actionable Advice
- Encourage Creative Expression: Allow children to explore arts and music, which can be therapeutic and help them express and manage their emotions.
- Monitor Social Media Usage: Be vigilant about your child's social media consumption, recognizing its potential impact on mental health.
- Foster Open Communication: Create a home environment where feelings are openly discussed, which can help children feel secure and understood.
- Promote Routine and Structure: Regular schedules provide children with a sense of security and normalcy that can mitigate anxiety.
- Encourage Physical Activity: Physical activities can improve mood and mental health, making it essential for children's daily routines.
About This Episode
Songwriter, guitarist and singer St. Vincent talks about her new album, All Born Screaming. Also, we talk with child psychiatrist Harold Koplewicz. His latest book is called Scaffold Parenting: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety.
People
St. Vincent, Harold Koplowitz
Books
"Scaffold: Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety"
Guest Name(s):
St. Vincent, Harold Koplowitz
Content Warnings:
None
Transcript
Capital One
This message comes from Capital one. Your business faces unique challenges and opportunities. That's why Capital one offers a comprehensive suite of financial services backed by the strength of a top ten commercial bank. Visit capitalone.com. Commercial member FDIC.
Terry Gross
From why? Why in Philadelphia? I'm Terry gross with fresh air weekend today. The songwriter, guitarist and singer known as she didn't exactly name herself after a saint. She took her stage name from St.
Vincent's Hospital in New York, where the poet Dylan Thomas died. Why not use her own name? I want to have a moniker because I felt like it would give me license and freedom to be bigger than Annie Clark. And she can go big in her dark lyrics or sometimes shredding guitar and how she dresses in performance. Her new album is called All Born Screaming.
Also, we talk with child psychiatrist Harold Koplowitz. His latest book is called Scaffold Raising resilient, self reliant and secure kids in an age of anxiety. That's coming up on fresh air weekend.
Capital One
This message comes from NPR's sponsor, Teladoc Health. There are lots of reasons for wanting to be healthy, family, work, living a fuller life. Teladoc Health understands whether you have diabetes, high blood pressure or just need to manage your weight, Teladoc health can help. Visit teladochealth.com whatsyoury for more information. Thats Te L A D O C Health Whatsyoury this message comes from Capital one, offering commercial solutions you can bank on.
Now more than ever, your business faces unique challenges and opportunities. That's why Capital one offers a comprehensive suite of financial services all tailored to your short and long term goals. Backed by the strength and stability of a top ten commercial bank, their dedicated experts work with you to build lasting success. Explore the possibilities at Capital one.com commercial. A member FDIC.
This message comes from NPR sponsor Capella University. Sometimes it takes a different approach to unlock your true potential. Capella University's game changing flexpath learning format is designed to help you learn relevant skills at your own pace so you can earn your degree on your terms and apply what you learn right away. Imagine your future differently at capella.edu. This is fresh air weekend.
Terry Gross
I'm Terry Gross. My guest is the musician known as St. Vincent. She's a singer, songwriter, guitarist, multi instrumentalist and a three time Grammy winner. Her songs can go pretty dark.
Her guitar playing can be shredding, but her lyrics typically read like good poetry. New York Times music critic John Pereilles described her as, quote, a grown up fascinated by Personas, gender roles, connections, obligations, self destructive behavior and looming mortality, unquote. In addition to her own albums, she co wrote the Taylor Swift song Cruel Summer and the Olivia Rodrigo song obsessed and recorded an album of duets with David Byrne. St. Vincent has a new album called All Born Screaming.
Teen musicians featured on the album have played in bands that deeply influenced her in her formative Nirvana and David Bowie. Dave Grohl, who was Nirvana's drummer and later co founded Foo Fighters, is featured on drums. Mark Giuliana, who played on Bowie's album Black Star, is also featured on drums on some tracks. When Nirvana was inducted into the Rock and Roll hall of Fame, St. Vincent sang lead on the band's performance of Lithium.
Let's start with a track from St. Vincent's new album, all born Screaming. This song has been released as a single, and it's my favorite track from the album. It's called Broken man.
On the street. I'm a king size killer I can make your kingdom come on my feet I'm an earthquake shaking so open up my little one hey, what are you looking at? Who the hell do you think I am?
And what are you looking at? Like you never seen a broken man loving nail yourself that to me if you go, I won't be well, I can hold my arms wide open but I need you to drive the nail like what are you looking for? Well, who the hell do you think I am?
Hey, what are you looking at? Like you've ever seen a broken man?
Terry Gross
St. Vincent, welcome to Fresh Air. It's such a pleasure to have you on the show. This is a terrific album. The song that we just heard, those lines.
What are you looking at? Who the hell do you think I am? It just reminds me of what happens on the street sometimes when you accidentally look at somebody and they get really upset and start hollering at you. What were you thinking when you wrote those lines?
St. Vincent
You know, all the songs on this album are very lived experience. In times past, I've certainly played with Persona, but on this record, I would say that this is just pretty close to the vest, pretty cut to the pink meat, as it were. So were you looking at someone or was someone looking at you? You know, I think that there are these kind of frequencies that we can tune into in our brain that are like, you know, whether it's deep ego stuff, that underneath that is really just a whole lot of pain. And you're walking down the street and you feel like you could fall in love with somebody or kick over the trash cans.
And if someone looks at you, the wrong way. You just could explode. I just. I have that feeling. I mean, not every day.
Like I said, it's a frequency you can kind of tune into when life takes you there. But art, luckily, is a safe place to explore all emotions, all ideas, no matter how dark or complicated. And you're not saying, haven't you ever seen a broken woman? You're saying, haven't you ever seen a broken man? Yeah.
Why did I say it like that? Was it because of the number of syllables? You needed to go deeper than that.
You know, sometimes it really is as well. Well, that just sings better. It sings better and it makes me feel a certain kind of way. And so therefore, that's what it should be. The chorus of the song after.
Terry Gross
What are you looking at? And I think this is on the second chorus, there's this really buzzy, dirty chord. And I'm not even sure if it's your guitar or are you playing synthesizer or what. What is that? Oh, Terry, that's a combination of my guitar completely blown out and then also just white noise going, ah.
I love that. Because that is the about to unravel, explode feeling that you're conveying through the song. I just think that chord gets it perfectly. And I love that it's used as punctuation. It's like the exclamation point in the song.
And it does. It's. It's not happening throughout, so it's so effective because you use it so sparingly. Thank you. Yeah, I look at music sort of like architecture, you know, and call and response and tension and release.
St. Vincent
That's the whole game, right? And music is tension and release. So you get these little. Just explosions of release and then it goes back to tension and then an explosion of release and then tension. But it's this simmering, creeping, creeping dread, I guess, on this record.
I swear some moments are almost like horror movie jump scares. Like, I think. Yeah, that chord is like a jump scare. Yeah. So I want to ask you about David Bowie and the influence he had on you.
Terry Gross
And I'm wondering what it meant to you when you first heard him or over time that he performed in Persona like you sometimes had, and that he, you know, we didn't use the word then, but he was genderqueer and he was called androgynous in his time. So as a performer, what influence, what impact did that have on you? Well, I think Bowie even went so far as to say that he was bisexual in the seventies, which, I mean. And that was shocking in its time. Right?
St. Vincent
Mic drop like, that was dangerous then, you know, now that's a feather in your cap. Then I was, you know, daggers were out for him. So, yeah, I'm queer, so I've always felt like gender and identity were a performance. I've been aware of that since I was a young child and learning how to code switch growing up in Texas and everything. So it kind of made sense for me to deal with all of that, to deal with Persona, to deal with identity in my work.
And as far as David Bowie, I mean, gosh, he was just an artist. He was just an artist with a capital a. He took us so many places in terms of Persona. And David Bowie and yourself as a performer, did or does performing in character or in Persona liberate you in a way? Is it easier to do certain songs if it's not you?
Terry Gross
I mean, even having the name St. Vincent, which is clearly not your birth name, but even having a stage name, is that like some people might think, oh, she's hiding behind that. But is there something actually liberating about it? Well, I mean, so my name is Annie Clark, which, you know, it's a lovely name. It's a just fine name.
St. Vincent
But there's also there was already an Anne Clark, who's a great artist. And so that name was sort of taken. So I thought, okay, I need to, I want to have a moniker because I felt like it would give me license and freedom to do, to be bigger than Annie Clark. I guess I think there is a tendency to look at, you know, people performing with theatricality and think of it as inauthentic. But I find that, you know, sometimes people who are selling you authenticity are, you know, are lying to you.
You know what I mean? It's like art to me is a place where I get to take everything that's happening in my life at that moment, in my internal world, in the external world, and play with it and make sense of it and go, there's chaos. But somehow, if I sit in my studio for long enough, I can alchemize that chaos into something that makes sense to me. And so whether it's putting Persona on top of that or getting at truths through exploring identity, sure. I will say on this record, Allborn screaming I'm not playing with Persona.
It's really a record about life and death and love. That's it. Thats all we got. Well, we need to take a short break here, so let me reintroduce you. If youre just joining us, my guest is St.
Terry Gross
Vincent. Her new album is called All Born Screaming. Well hear more of our conversation after a break. Im Terry gross, and this is fresh air weekend. This message comes from NPR sponsor betterhelp.
Capital One
Its easy to ignore your social battery and spread yourself too thin. Therapy can provide the tools and self awareness to help you learn how to recharge. Define your boundaries and build a social life that doesn't drain your battery. Find your social sweet spot with betterhelp online therapy. Fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.
Visit betterhelp.com NPR today to get 10% off your first month. This message comes from NPR's sponsor, Stearns and Foster. To sterns and Foster, your comfort is their everything. So they've made a mattress that's irresistible inside and out. Every stearns and foster mattress is handcrafted.
Every stitch, every layer uses the finest materials, like indulgent memory foam and ultra conforming intellicoils for the coziness you want with the support you need. Timeless quality for your most comfortable sleep. Stearns and foster what comforts should be more@stearnsandfoster.com dot in 2021, you made an. Album called Daddy's Home, and the title of the album, which is also the title song, refers to your father getting out of prison after serving, I think, ten years for a series of financial crimes, including in 2010, he was convicted of a federal jury found him guilty on one count of conspiracy, seven counts of wire fraud, five counts of securities fraud and one count of money laundering. He was 62 at the time.
Terry Gross
Did you even understand the crimes? I was reading about this and thinking, I'll just say financial crimes, it's so complicated. Like, did you understand what he did? No. I mean, I don't really understand, like the stock market in general or that.
St. Vincent
So, no, I'm still a little bit unclear. But that might be also a question of my own financial literacy. Were you shocked? Did you know that he'd be capable of this? Well, I mean, I think that my father got caught up in some stuff, some unscrupulous situations.
And I don't he's not. I mean, I've seen the man try to figure out email on an iPhone. He's not a criminal mastermind, I can assure you. But I think that he was caught up in some unscrupulous stuff, and everybody else pled out, and he was the guy. He and his partner were the guys still holding the bag, right?
I remember being with my older sisters and going in for some of the trial and then being called in, you know, because they call when there's a verdict, okay, they've called in the verdict. And I just, we, it just didn't ever occur to us that, you know, that anything but, like, okay, go on home. I don't know. I just was so naive about so many things. But my sisters and I were in the courtroom when they called the verdict and said, guilty.
And they took him away, and, you know, we got to give him a quick hug, and then they took him away in front of us, and we were all just devastated and confused and shell shocked and then trying to help pick up the pieces. He's got seven kids, so, you know, I have four little brothers and sisters who were. They were kids. I mean, they were kids, and now their dad's gone. And I do have to say that we all did manage to stick together as a family.
And I'm so close with my younger siblings, and I'm so close with my sisters. And he was released. My dad was released in 2019 kind of just before the pandemic.
And, yeah, I mean, we'd go and visit him in prison, and there's a line in daddy's home about signing autographs in the visitation room, which is just like, it was sort of known that, like, oh, Rick's daughter, you know, she's a singer. And if I was on a tv show, if I was on, you know, SNL or, or Fallon or whatever, it'd be like, all the inmates would gather and watch. So I was sort of like, me and Kamaru Usman, who's a UFC fighter, were sort of whose dad was also in prison at the same time as my father. We were sort of like.
Harold Koplowitz
The pride. Of the prison camp. So, you know, so if Kamaru was fighting or if I was on tv, you know, playing a late night show, like, everybody would rally together and watch. So anyway, I'm waiting for my dad to go to see him for an hour, a couple hours or whatever it is, and I'm signing autographs on the back of someone's target receipt in a prison visitation room. Just like.
Terry Gross
A strange experience. But I'm thinking if. If your father has fellow inmates all watching you on tv, sometimes on tv and your videos, you'd be wearing very sexualized clothes, Terry. I prefer not to think about that part of it. No, but I mean, in immense prison, that must have really been a thing.
Like, that's your daughter, so. I know. Did you think about that? Well, I mean, I'm only thinking about, you know, what I'm wearing is going to be some kind of a thoughtful, rendering world creation of the music that I've made. So I'm not thinking about the fact that it will probably also be seen at the men's prison.
St. Vincent
If I did that, maybe I would have worn more burlap, but whatever. I wasn't thinking about that. But, yeah, but, you know, he's out, and life is long. People are complicated. You know, I love my father.
My father gave me grit. He taught us to be tough. He instilled in me, like, a love of literature and films and foreign films and music and was a cultural kind of guy. So I really appreciate the gifts that he gave me. And we're all still trucking in those ten years.
Terry Gross
A lot changed in your life. You became kind of famous in the ten years that he was in prison. It must have been so odd for him to see what was happening in your life while he was behind bars. Yeah, it's funny. I mean, again, it's whether it was like, the late night appearances were kind of a thing that, you know, or getting SNL was.
St. Vincent
That was a thing that was. I almost, like, looked at it, like, throwing little paper airplanes over the prison walls or something. Like, at least he could see, you know, that sort of, we were doing all right. Yeah, yeah. Well, St.
Terry Gross
Vincent, it's really been a pleasure to talk with you. Thank you so much. And thank you for your music. Thank you so much, Terry. I'm a massive fan, and this was a real pleasure.
It's such an honor to hear you say that. And I have become a big fan of your music. Thank you. The new St. Vincent album is called all born screaming.
There's so many reasons for children to be anxious today, beyond all the standard childhood problems. There's the setbacks from the COVID lockdown, mass shootings in schools, feelings they're not measuring up to, the great lives they see represented on social media, fears about the whole planet being in jeopardy. It's hardly unusual for parents to be unsure how to handle their child's anxiety, depression, learning problems, anger, tantrums. And it can be difficult for parents to evaluate whether their child should see a therapist or take medication. My guest, child psychiatrist Harold Koplowitz, has dealt with these issues with many children and their parents, and there have been times he's been confounded about issues his own children faced.
He's the founding president of the Child Mind Institute. Its stated mission is transforming the lives of children and families struggling with mental health and learning disorders by giving them the help they need to thrive, the institute also conducts related research. From 1997 to 2009, he was the first director of the NYU Child Study Center. Koplowitz recently stepped down from his 25 year tenure as editor in chief of the Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychopharmacology. His latest book is titled Scaffold Raising Resilient, self reliant, and secure kids in an age of anxiety.
Doctor Harold Koplowitz, welcome to Fresh Air. What are some of the problems and anxieties you're seeing now that you can connect to outside problems like the COVID lockdown and its lingering after effects? How are you seeing that manifest in the children's anxieties that you're seeing? Well, I think our kids are not okay, and unfortunately, they weren't doing very well before COVID But COVID has had a negative effect on all children, children with mental health disorders and kids who are typically developing children. Being locked up for two years and living with fear that somebody close to you, someone near and dear, will die is very problematic.
Harold Koplowitz
And we also know that 1 million Americans did die, which means that about 170,000 american children lost a caregiver or a parent. And if we go back to 2001, after 911, we lost 3000 Americans. And I can tell you that in New York, in certain pockets, Staten island, where there were a lot of firemen, and Manhasset, where there were a lot of finance people who were in the building, and certainly people around ground zero, it was very hard to get kids to go back to school. Attendance rates didn't return to 910 to September 10 levels for over a year, and sometimes even longer. So we do know that this kind of traumatic event is going to have lingering effects.
And we have seen increases in anxiety disorders and in depression, particularly in girls. But certainly even in boys, there are higher rates of kids trying to hurt themselves. And there is even an increase in the number of young people who have committed suicide. So there is no doubt that we had a problem before, and we have a greater problem now. The average child isn't necessarily like watching cable news or reading the newspaper, but you pick up a lot of this on social media, and it's also just in the air, like, everybody's talking about these issues, like environmental catastrophe, you know, political divisions.
Terry Gross
Is this the end of democracy? Is the planet burning? I mean, you're just, it's just in the air now. Well, you know, there's something dramatically changed between 2010 and 2018. So the numbers started to jump.
Harold Koplowitz
When we started looking at children's mental health, there were higher rates of visits to emergency rooms by kids for suicidal thought and suicidal behavior. And the increase in the number of kids who died from suicide went from around 5000 to 6000. Now, just think about that. If it was diabetes, if it was cancer, that would have made the front page of every newspaper every single day. It would be on cable news 24.
And somehow, we don't take mental health disorders as seriously as we take physical disorders. And so what happened between 2010 and 2018 is that all of us started carrying a device with us that connected us to everybody on the planet. Twenty four seven. And that definitely had a negative effect on a certain percentage of the population. So I want to be clear that social media is not like smoking.
It doesn't, it's not terrible for everyone, but it is particularly bad for kids who have mental health disorders. And we've really looked at this very carefully at the Childmind Institute, where we had done a study before COVID that was looking for an objective test, a biological test. Psychiatry is the only discipline in medicine that doesn't have an objective test, doesn't have a chest x ray or a blood test or a stomach strep test. And therefore, that's the holy grail, right? We make the diagnosis with clinical information, which is how you start all diagnosis in every part of medicine, but you can confirm it with an EKG or with a brain scan.
So psychiatry is missing that. And so we started something called the healthy brain network, where we offered any parent who was worried about their child who was between the ages of five and 21, free psychiatric evaluation, free neuropsych testing, which looks for learning disabilities, a functional MRI and EEG, physical fitness, cardiovascular status, nutritional status. And this became and still the largest collection of the developing brain of kids five to 21 that's ever been collected. And we share it with scientists around the world who make an agreement with us that they won't try to find out who the subjects are. Wait, so is the point of this to figure out?
Terry Gross
Is there, like, a biological diagnosis you can make? Does the cohort of people who have depression or anxiety or whatever share certain biological markers? Is that the point? That would be the point. The real trick is, can you tell the difference between one atypical child and another?
Harold Koplowitz
Not the difference between a typical developing child and someone who may have a mental health disorder or a learning disorder, but the difference between Terry, who has anxiety, and Harold, who has depression. And is there something on the EEG or on the functional MRI? Can we find a definitive, objective test? But the good news here is that when you collect all this data and it turns out that 9% of the 7000 kids that participated did not have a disorder. They had symptoms, but they didn't meet psychiatric criteria for a diagnosis.
You now have described very accurately and very specifically, phenotypically, what these kids look like. And then you get COVID and you find that their use of social media jumps. They are using the Internet six to 8 hours a day. All the kids in the study, no. No, no, just a large percentage of them.
And we start defining that as problematic. Internet usage, not only are you using it a lot, but when you force them to stop, they get distressed. It almost feels like an addiction. Right? And we do know that it turns out for the 9% who are typically developing kids, that when you use the Internet more than six to 8 hours a day, you will sleep less, you will exercise less, and you'll have less interactions.
In real life, all three of them are important for healthy brain development, but you don't become mentally ill. However, if you have a mental health disorder and you start behaving that way, your symptoms get worse. It's almost like a toxic agent. It turns out that the Internet usage of over six to 8 hours a day can make your symptoms of depression, your symptoms of ADHD, significantly worse, which is a really important phenomena. Why do you think that is?
Well, it's a very good question. Why? Our guess is that for these kids, someone who has depression, they're already socially more isolated than the average person, and they start losing their skillset and their ambition to interact with the rest of the world. Kids with ADHD can get very hyper focused with certain activities, and at times feel very lost, very impulsive, feel very often like a failure when they can't pay attention in school or are missing things that everyone else is picking up. So what's important about this is that if you're a parent and you know your child has one of these disorders, you have to be very aware that their usage of social media could potentially be toxic, and it has to be controlled.
It can't be unlimited. Not that it's good for anyone to have unlimited, but it's particularly bad for those kids. So we know that social media was out there between 2010 and 2018, and unfortunately, there's no regulation on it, and it means that parents have to be more aware. I mean, I think of it as, you know, a jungle, right? The jungle is an exciting place.
Very nutritious fruit and vegetables and lots of terrific stuff. Maybe medicines even can get discovered in the jungle. But it also has snakes, it also has dangerous plants. That can kill you. It also has animals.
And therefore, if you're going to let your child participate, you should be a very active participant in that permission. My guest is child psychiatrist Harold Koplerwitz, the founding president of the Child Mind Institute. His latest book is called scaffold raising resilient, self reliant and secure kids in an age of anxiety. We'll hear more of our conversation after a break. This is fresh air weekend.
This message comes from NPR's sponsor. Be my guest with Inogarten, a podcast from Food Network, intimate and captivating conversations with new and old friends, Jennifer Garner, Frank Bruni, Emily Mortimer and more. Listen to be my guest wherever you get your podcasts. This message comes from NPR sponsor mint mobile. From the gas pump to the grocery store, inflation is everywhere.
So Mint Mobile is offering premium wireless starting at just dollar 15 a month. To get your new phone plan for just dollar 15, go to mintmobile.com. Switch support for NPR and the following message come from Betterment, an automated investing and savings app. CEO Sarah Levy shares why betterment believes cash can be a strategic choice there. Are times when the market is volatile, when customers are a little nervous about investing.
Terry Gross
We came to understand that there was an opportunity to introduce cash as part of an investing strategy and to give back yields to the customer. Learn more about high yield cash accounts@betterment.com. Dot investing involves risk performance, not guaranteed cash reserve offered through Betterment LLC and betterment securities. Betterment is not a bank. So if you think that social media can be very harmful to certain children, how would you suggest parents try to limit their time on social media?
That's something that is really hard to do. I think it is challenging, but I think it's very doable. We also have some good data. We know that parents who are using the Internet in a problematic way are more likely to have kids that are doing it. Parents have to model this.
Harold Koplowitz
They have to have periods where we're putting the phone away at nighttime and you're not allowed to look at it because we want you to sleep. We do want to look and see how much time you're spending on it, and we want you to be aware of how much time you're spending on it. So it's not, you know, punitive. It's a collaboration, especially if they're a teenager or a preteen. But I also think that, you know, it's time for us to get much more sophisticated about this.
Terry Gross
I want to talk with you a little bit about suicide, since you brought it up and I want to ask you first, just in terms of our show, we always give warnings when we're going to be talking about suicide, and we always give the suicide prevention hotline number. The idea being that hearing talk about suicide can almost be encouraging to someone who has had suicidal ideation. So do you think thats helpful? Well, I think its important to recognize that even if its a small percentage to give people that information, that lifeline is very important and also to let them know that theyre not alone. So I think the way to think about this is why are teenagers so much more at risk than you or me?
Harold Koplowitz
And the way to think about a teenager is they feel everything. They're boiling. They're freezing. I hate you. I love you.
You know, what happened to I'm warm or it's a little cool in here? That doesn't happen. And in some ways, it's really kind of terrific because they are so creative and they see opportunity everywhere and they don't recognize risk very well. I mean, there's some really interesting studies of a teenage boy who goes and picks up a friend to come into his car, and the teenager driver is wearing a seatbelt. And the teenage male who sits down next to him doesnt put a seatbelt on.
And the teenage driver takes his seatbelt off. He goes and picks up a girl. And the girl gets into the car and she puts her seatbelt on. And the teenage driver now puts his seatbelt on. So theyre very easily moved by their peer group in a way that they hadnt been before.
And parents should note this, that even though the peer group becomes significantly more influential when you're a teenager, parents are still the most influential factor in a kid's life. But it's important that parents keep talking, keep sharing their viewpoint, keep listening to their kids viewpoint, and not back off because their kids say, well, everyone's doing it. A child comes into your office, let's say a teenager comes into your office, you think that the possibility of this teenager attempting suicide is real. What do you do to try to prevent that from happening? Well, it really depends on how serious they are about the attempt.
Do they have a plan? Have they been thinking about it a long time? Have they stopped doing their usual pleasurable experiences? They no longer are hanging out with friends or not eating the food that they love. And you have to really recognize that if theyre very serious about it, you have to intervene.
You have to save their lives. You have to either say to them, I dont feel youre safe, or ask them if they feel safe and then sometimes make the decision that they have to be in an environment where theyll be watched in a hospital, or youll talk to their parents and see can they watch them until this mood and this ideation actually passes? So I just want to pause here and give the national suicide and crisis hotline number. And this is the number to call or to text. It's 988.
Terry Gross
So it's a simple number, just three numbers, 988 to either call or text. The national suicide and crisis hotline. So if you are having thoughts of suicide, please get some help. You specialize in ADHD attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Why dont you define what the symptoms are and how to recognize it?
Harold Koplowitz
So its a challenge for lots of people to think about it because they think, oh, arent we all hyperactive at some time? But the difference here is a deficit in attention toward whats normal developmentally. So the attention span of a five year old is very different than the attention span of a ten year old. Any individual who has ADHD is chronically less attentive, tends to be more impulsive, and if they have hyperactivity, they're moving around more. They can get themselves into physical problems because they basically have ants in their pants.
They're constantly in motion. The diagnosis when you have hyperactivity is much easier to make than when you just have add without H. But it's a chronic illness and therefore it may change over time. Your symptoms might lessen. Hyperactivity might go away when you become a teenager, but you are always going to have a shorter attention span and going to be more impulsive than the average person your age.
Terry Gross
I think this is one of the problems in which brain imaging is starting to be used. Fmris, where you can see which parts of the brain light up in different situations in different thoughts. How are fmris being used in ADHd? Right. It's the holy grail for us to find that objective test.
Harold Koplowitz
One of the things we've discovered at the trauma institute is that the way your brain connects to itself while a child's at rest turns out to be diagnostic. It's called connectomes. So does the front of the brain connect to the side of the brain or to the back of the brain? And what's been very interesting is that we took a few hundred scans and sent them to a group of people who were statisticians, who were electrical engineers, and asked them if they could group those different scans in different buckets. And we found the group that actually won this competition were statisticians.
From Hopkins. And they said, well, these 150 scans go together and these 50 scans go together, and these hundred scans go together. And these are individuals who've never seen a patient with psychiatric disorder. But what's really interesting in bucket one, the overwhelming majority of those patients had ADHD. In the group of 50, they had autism, and the group of 100, they had both ADHD and autism.
So we're really excited by the fact that we have found something that might lead us to a definitive, objective test. Now, the important part for everyone to remember, its not just one child, its not a strep test. Yes, youre positive or someone else is negative. Its a group difference. But thats the way were going to get closer and closer to making a definitive diagnosis.
Terry Gross
So in a study like the fMRI study that you were referring to, how do you know whether the brain is reflecting the behavior or whether the behavior is predetermined by the brain? Do you know what I mean? Sure. It's like if I move my left arm, if I say I'm going to move my left arm right now and I'm doing it with intent, it's going to register on an fMRI probably, but it's not like I have a disorder that's moving my left arm. It's like I've decided to behave this way and it's registering in my brain.
Harold Koplowitz
So, you know, let's think about this for a second. This is exactly where the field of research in functional MRI has gone to. You know, they used to give a trigger to a kid. Pay attention to this while you're in the machine, or we're going to show you scary faces and see what happened to the brain. It turns out that the most powerful way of doing this is just letting kids rest or sleep in the functional MRI.
And your brain is incredibly active while you're at rest or sleeping, and that's when you're going to see most of these connections. So in the case of the study, we weren't triggering them. We weren't saying, this clearly should be what makes. We'll catch them being inattentive and then we'll look at the MRI. We're just looking at their brains at rest.
Terry Gross
That's really interesting.
Has this affected your treatment at all? So we're not there yet. It's not ready for prime time. I wish I could say, oh, we're going to give everyone eegs because they're only $60 and an MRI is 500, and we found some correlation. That's what I'm hoping for.
Harold Koplowitz
You know, science has to wait for real data. So at this moment, we still have to rely on clinical diagnosis. You're asking parents what they think. You're asking teachers and report cards, because this is not something that just pops up when you're about to apply to college or because you didn't make partner at the law firm. This is a lifelong illness, and you can document that by looking at things from a longitudinal basis.
And then you have to examine the child. The child basically confirms the diagnosis or doesn't. I think it's fascinating when you do give a kid meds and they do significantly better, that a young child will tell you the medicine's not working, and you say, really, what's changed? He said, my teacher is much nicer. I said, that's really interesting.
You take a pill and your teacher's. That really is absolutely amazing. And they said, yeah, you know, you're eight years old. Okay, so this is a kind of personal question, but knowing what you know now, and there's so much more research that's been done into childhood behavioral problems and mental health disorders, do you think you had any undiagnosed problems as a child? I don't think so.
Terry Gross
And I don't mean that, like, I recognize symptoms and not your behavior. But I would tell you that I clearly became much more of a student when I was in college than I was in high school. I had eastern european parents. I had parents who survived the Holocaust and got to the United States in 1949, and they didn't believe that education was a journey, it was a destination, and they couldn't wait until you graduated and go to college. So I was two years younger than everyone in elementary school, and I think that was most probably not a great idea, that most boys developed late.
Harold Koplowitz
And so that was a problem. And I would also tell you that the parents that I had when I was growing up were much more traumatized by the Holocaust than the parents I had later on in life when they were in their eighties and nineties and were less anxious and the nightmares had stopped, and they felt more comfortable in the United States and also comfortable that, you know, I was going to be successful. I had graduated medical school. I had children. I was married.
And that seemed to really calm them down. But I do recognize that they were overly invested in my being successful because they were trying to recreate stuff that they lost. My parents were both, by the way, my father had graduated law school in 1936, and my mother was in law school in 1938, and neither one of them ever practiced law. They came to this country, as immigrants, they had to start off fresh again. My father started business.
I think they struggled financially. My mother eventually went back to school and got a BA and then an MSW. But there was this idea of what could have been if there wouldnt have been the Holocaust. And therefore my sister and I had to carry that weight, which is understandable, but was very unpleasant when it was happening. Were your parents in camps?
My father was literally in 14 concentration camps and the Warsaw ghetto. And how is that possible? Well, at the very first camp, they asked, who knows how to make airplanes? And my father raised his hand. And when asked about that, he said, well, they had already killed the lawyers.
And he figured, well, I know how to use a screwdriver, I'll figure it out. And he went from camp to camp, and he was with one other man who kept being moved with him. And they got a little piece of metal, and the other guy was very artistic and he engraved a sailboat and a horn of plenty. And on the other side, every time they moved from one camp to another, my father inscribed the date and the name of the camp. And they were hoping they would be at least a record, that what they were experiencing would be recorded and documented.
And that piece of metal, by the way, is at the US Holocaust Museum in New York. I'm sorry, in DC? In Washington, DC, yeah. So you mentioned your, so your mother was in camps too? No, my mother got papers as a Catholic and false papers as a Catholic and walked out of the ghetto.
And in some ways, it was more trying for her in the respect that. Think about it, you have fake papers. And if the Gestapo stops you and starts really examining the papers and starts asking you questions like, what is your mother and father's name? Oh, they're dead. Okay.
And what was your priest's name and where are you from? It wouldn't take very long. So she moved around 16 different villages outside of Warsaw, working as a maid, and she was a terrible housekeeper. So it is really amazing how she managed to do that, because she really had a very tough time and was very isolated, just basically, you know, surviving from day to day. And it was, I think, a little more than two years where she was moving around.
The war ended first in Poland, and so my father didn't come and find her until several months later. Well, they were married before the war started. Well, I wish I could tell you that's true. And that was the story I was told. But it turns out that when my then twelve year old son was doing a, my wife insisted that if he was going to be bar mitzvah, it had to be intergenerational.
So he kept asking my mother her life story and recording it. And at a certain point, my son said, I don't understand, Grandma. Where was the infrastructure in the ghetto for you to get married? And my mother said, oh, you know, in the jewish religion, you can get married and become the stars and the moon. And my son said, I don't think that's true.
I think you need a contract. And she said, well, August 12, it was the day I lost my virginity with your grandfather. And he came home and said, I don't know if, if grandma and grandpa ever were married. I think they're celebrating the day they had sex. So I called my mother and said, I don't understand.
Why did you tell them that? She said, I never slept with anybody else. And I thought enough. And he asked much better questions than you ever did. So I think they got married when they were leaving Poland to go to a displaced persons camp in Germany.
And I have to tell you, as an example, my mother was madly in love with my father before the war. She lusted for him. He was very attractive, and he was a lawyer already. And then after the war, when he returned, he was skin and bones, and he was truly a different person. And she was a different person.
She was no longer a bit of a princess. She was a survivor. She knew how. And he came and found her, and she said, I'm going to let you come in, but I'm leaving. I've got papers to go either to Palestine or to Australia or Canada or the United States.
Not staying here. And he said, well, I am staying here. I'm a lawyer, and we're going to make a lot of money. And she said, that's okay. The idea that they lived together for three months, and she got the papers and he decided to go with her.
It's really a very romantic story that they fell in love again. And my father, every year on their anniversary, would give my mother, if they had money. He gave her red rose for every year they were together, and three white roses for the three years they were in together with the same note. Life had no color without you. So they really rediscovered each other and I think gave that bond was so close in some ways, my sister and I sometimes felt out of it because they were such a partnership that that's what carried them through later on.
Terry Gross
Doctor Harold Coplowitz, thank you so much for talking with us. It's been a pleasure, Terri. Doctor Harold Coplewitz is the founding president of the child mind Institute. His latest book is titled Scaffold Parenting.
Fresh air weekend is produced by Teresa Madden. Fresh Air's executive producer is Danny Miller. Our technical director and engineer is Audrey Bentham with engineering today from Adam Staniszewski. Our interviews and reviews are produced and edited by Amy Sallet, Phyllis Myers, Roberto Schorach, Ann Marie Boldonado, Sam Brigger, Lauren Krenzel, Thea Challoner, Susan Yakundi and Joel Wolfe. From our digital media producer is Molly Sivi Nesper.
Our co host is Tanya Moseley. I'm Terry Gross. This message comes from NPR's sponsor Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business, from the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to the did we just hit a million orders stage. Shopify's there to help you grow, sell without needing to code or design.
Just bring your best ideas and Shopify will help you open up shop. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period@shopify.com. NPR support for NPR and the following message come from bombas makes absurdly soft socks, underwear and t shirts. And for every item you purchase, Bombus donates another to someone facing homelessness. Get 20% off your first purchase@bombas.com.
NPR and use code NPR.
Capital One
This is my voice. It can tell you a lot about me, and I'm not changing it for anyone. In NPR's Black Truths, you'll find a collection of NPR episodes centered on black experiences. Search NPR black stories, black truths wherever you get your podcast.