Why Is Your Poop a Rainbow?

Primary Topic

This episode explores unusual reasons behind colorful stool variations, focusing on amusing anecdotes and light-hearted discussions about unusual ingestions.

Episode Summary

In this vibrant episode of "Conan O'Brien Needs A Friend," the comedic host delves into the curious world of unusual poops, spurred by a humorous personal story involving eating Play-Doh. Guest Pam, a poison control expert, shares insights on common and bizarre cases she encounters, from children eating non-food items to adults mistaking toxic mushrooms for edible ones. The conversation is sprinkled with Conan’s signature humor and several tangential discussions, including anecdotes about personal experiences with substances and the various calls received by poison control. The episode effectively balances humor with informative content, making it a uniquely entertaining listen.

Main Takeaways

  1. Non-food items like Play-Doh are commonly ingested by children but are usually non-toxic.
  2. Poison control centers handle a wide range of cases, from mundane to bizarre.
  3. Identifying mushrooms in the wild can be dangerous — it’s better to avoid consuming foraged mushrooms unless absolutely certain of their safety.
  4. Even seemingly harmless substances can become dangerous depending on the quantity ingested and the individual's medical history.
  5. The episode highlights the importance of poison control centers and the varied, critical roles they play in public health.

Episode Chapters

1: Introduction and Sponsor Acknowledgment

Overview of the episode's theme with a light-hearted discussion on live events and seating deals. Conan O'Brien: "I love live events. You love them? I really do."

2: The Rainbow Poop Story

Conan shares a childhood anecdote about eating Play-Doh, leading to a colorful digestive result. Conan O'Brien: "And then your mom at home was like, Conan, why is your poop a rainbow?"

3: Poison Control with Pam

Pam discusses her role at poison control, sharing stories about the strange cases she encounters. Pam: "Like, from a kid ate Play-Doh to intentional, you know, overdoses."

4: Dangerous Substances and Misadventures

Discussions about the dangers of mushroom foraging and the importance of poison control guidance. Pam: "I found these mushrooms, and, you know, I think they're good to eat."

5: Recreational Mishaps

Exploring incidents involving recreational substances, highlighting the reassurance provided by poison control. Pam: "They had taken a whole bunch of edible marijuana the night before."

Actionable Advice

  1. Keep emergency numbers handy: Always have poison control and other emergency contact information accessible.
  2. Educate children early: Teach children about the dangers of ingesting non-food items.
  3. Forage safely: When foraging, only consume plants and mushrooms that are 100% identified as safe.
  4. Check substances before use: When trying new substances, especially in a recreational setting, ensure their safety and start with small amounts.
  5. Stay informed about non-toxic substances for children: Know which common household items are non-toxic in case of accidental ingestion.

About This Episode

Conan chats with Pam from Farmington, Connecticut about working for Poison Control and how to handle oneself while too high at Disneyland.

People

Conan O'Brien, Sona Movsesian, Pam

Companies

SeatGeek, ADT, Google Nest, T-Mobile, Valvoline

Books

None

Guest Name(s):

Pam

Content Warnings:

None

Transcript

Conan O'Brien
I love live events. You love them? I really do. Yep. And I love that feeling when you, you know you got the best deal on a seat.

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This freaks me out, man. Freaks you out, man. Yeah, in a good way. Download the Seatgeek app. Use code Conan 20 to get dollar 20 off your first purchase offer applies to new customers only.

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Sona Movsesian
Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan? Visit teamcoco.com callkonen. Okay, let's get started. Hi, can you hear us?

Matt Gourley
Pam? Hey, Tan. How are you? Great. Great.

Pam
I'm so sorry. Oh, don't be sorry. Let's explain. Let's explain to people listening that we've had some technical difficulties and can't say, was it our end? Was it your end?

We could blame it on me. That's totally fine. I was going to. Yeah, totally. Our equipment's fine.

Conan O'Brien
You screwed this up, Pam. But I don't blame you because I'm tech phobic. And also, it might not even be something you did. You might have been have something wrong with the technology over there. Yeah, I don't know.

Pam
I can't explain it, but here I am. The important thing is you're here. We're all happy. Where are you? Calling from.

Conan O'Brien
Where are you in this wonderful world? I'm in Farmington, Connecticut. Where is Farmington? It's like, right in the middle of Connecticut. Next to Hartford, sort of.

I know Connecticut well. I really like Connecticut. That's a good state. Yeah. And tell us a little bit about yourself.

What's your jam? What do you do? So, yeah, I've lived in Connecticut my whole life, and I. You should get out sometimes. You should leave occasionally.

You know what I mean? Because you should see what a man looks like when he doesn't have a sweater tied around his neck. You know? Cause there's a whole thing I will say. That's Greenwich, Connecticut.

Okay. There's a lot of literature. I better step back. I went too far. No, no, no.

Pam
I was gonna say. So I work for poison control. That's my job. And sometimes, like, I love. I'm fascinated.

Conan O'Brien
I'm serious. I'm not kidding. I'm fascinated by poisons. You said that like you were turned on or something. Well, I'm not gonna say I'm not.

How about that? I find I'm very interested in poisons, and I'm. This makes me very happy. Pam, tell me about your work with poison control. Do you work on a hotline?

Pam
Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Yes. So there is a poison control number. It's a national number.

Should we give it 1802. 22122. And good. But also, that might save a life. You never know.

Conan O'Brien
That's cool. So tell us. You're sitting there, and you get the call and tell me about these calls. So it really ranges from. Really anything.

Pam
Like, from a kid ate playdough to intentional, you know, overdoses, where people are trying to harm themselves, or, you know, people foraging mushrooms outside and picking the wrong kind and getting sick. It really ranges. Am I correct that? Okay, I'm gonna take a couple things. You said.

Conan O'Brien
You said, if a kid eats play doh, that's not so bad, right? If a kid eats a ton of play doh, that might be an issue. But some play doh, probably not a problem. Correct. So that's, like, one of our favorite things that we say in toxicology is like, it depends just on the webinar.

Pam
Pretty much depends on, like, the size of the person, their past medical history, how much they ate. It depends on so many things. But you're right. Play doh, luckily tastes bad enough that people don't usually go to town on that. You know what I mean?

Sona Movsesian
Why were you asking so much about the play doh? I know. Do you eat play doh? Let's just say there was a period of time in my youth, when I was a child, my brother Neil tended to get most of the food, and sometimes I had to forage in the arts and crafts area of the third grade. And let's just say I.

Conan O'Brien
The teacher was like, where's all this play doh going?

Pam
And then your mom at home was like, Conan, why is your hoop a rainbow? Okay.

Conan O'Brien
Oh, Pam. Oh, Pam. Oh, Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam. Pam brought it. I.

I love how you can see. Her pause between words, thinking, should I? Should I know? Should I? And I'm glad you did.

You went for it, and I'm proud of you. And now my mother knows. Cause she didn't know. So what about. I can't believe people would forge for mushrooms and rely on their own ability to tell which is a healthy one and which is one that will kill you.

So you'll have people call up and say, I was in the woods, I needed some mushrooms. I grabbed a bunch that looked okay, but now I think I'm dying. Do you get those? Okay, so, yes, yes. So I will say the ones that usually make the mistake, it's.

Pam
They're in the hospital at that point. I see with, like, abnormal labs, and then come to find out, you know, they had foraged some mushrooms. But then I will occasionally get the caller that's like, I found these mushrooms, and, you know, I think they're good to eat. And they're, like, hoping we can identify, you know, like, can I eat this? And I'm always like, I cannot identify what, you know, with 100% certainty.

So I would say, don't eat it. And then we also get little kids that ingest mushrooms as well, which I always think is interesting, you know, because I can't get my kids to eat a mushroom on a good day from the grocery store. Yeah, my kids still won't eat them. My kids still will not eat a mushroom. Have you tried play doh?

Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I make them out of play doh, and they gobble them right up. So. Okay, so most of these things. What are the most, I'm saying, is there. I'm just gonna come right to the point.

Cause I don't know how else to ask this. Is there a poison that you've come across that's untraceable by a coroner?

Odorless, tasteless? What's the best of the poisons for? Well, I'm just going to say for murdering. For murdering, you know. Yeah.

Pam
I mean, you know, back in the day, arsenic was arsenic, but now they can tell. Yeah, now they can. Yeah, now they can. They can. They couldn't tell, but now they can tell with arsenic.

Sona Movsesian
What about Ricin? Remember in Breaking Bad, that was their go to Ricin. That might be a good one. Digitalis. Oh, so that's interesting.

Pam
We could test for that as well. And you can test for digitalis. You can? Yeah, yeah. And you would see an elevated potassium level in the blood work, and they'd be like, hmm, a cardiac dysrhythmia and a high potassium.

You were murdered. I don't know.

Conan O'Brien
That's why I always go back to just cut the brake lines. Okay. Because if a car goes off a cliff, it's very hard to tell later on, especially if there's a fire, if the brake lines were cut or were they severed in the fire. Should we be taking an Uber home today? Yeah, what do you.

No, no, no. You should both get in your car, Matt, and you should drop. Cause you're both headed pretty much in the same direction. And you know what? You might be running a little late, so I'd go heavy on the gas.

Really? Gun that thing. You'll be all right. Uh oh, yeah. So, okay, so do you get calls from people who've ingested too many gummies or whatever?

They've done too much of a recreational drug, and they're freaking out? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. I had that recently where this guy called for, like, his brother and three of his friends, and they had taken a whole bunch of edible marijuana the night before, and they were still feeling, like, super, super high. And, you know, it is kind of nice because I can tell them, like, you know, just, like, some things they could do to maybe feel better and maybe save them all a trip to the emergency room, which will save them money and the ER.

Pam
You know what I mean? In the long run, also. What they want then, is reassurance, I would guess. I'll tell you a story. I was riding my bicycle not far from my house.

Conan O'Brien
I have a mountain bike, and I was gonna head up this trail, and I was headed towards the trail, and this is a bunch of years ago, but there was, like, a van parked on the side of the road, and I just. As I was driving by, I thought I heard help me. And I wasn't sure, so I doubled back. And it was two kids that had parked up there, taken a lot of mushrooms and to trip out, and they were freaking out. They were having a bad trip, and it wasn't going well, and they were freaked out.

And I had my helmet on. And my glasses, so I didn't. And they were totally messed up, so they just thought, oh, this is Joe blow going by. So I said, first of all, I said, give me your keys. Cause I was worried they were gonna try and drive.

So I got their keys, and then I just called 911 and just to have someone come by. Cause I didn't know what to do. And the cops came by, and the cops said, oh, this happens all the time. Kids come up here all the time to get high, freak out, and we end up coming up here. But I then they said I could go.

And then because my helmet and my glasses had come off by then, the cops were chatting me up about, oh, hey, Conan. I'm like, oh, hi, guys, whatever. And then they said I could go. So I left, and they were just gonna stay with the kids till they were okay. But then I later found out that they told the kids that I was the one that they flagged down.

And the kids that narc them out. That narc them out. Yeah. And the kids were like, we're gonna fuck the kids. No, the kids thought they were fuzz, man.

No, no, they didn't get in trouble. They didn't get in trouble. What they did was not illegal, I don't think, especially here in California. You were right to do that, to keep them safe, but you still narc them out. But also, I kept the car keys.

And later I went back and I took the van and I sold it. Aw, yeah. And you cut the brakes. And then I cut the brakes, and I gave it to Gorley.

You know, it's incredible to have the flexibility to work in all sorts of places, whether it's taking video calls from the park or emailing large files while you're grocery shopping. Sona, this is good for you. Is it? Because you're always doing whatever work you do for me from fun locations. But I like blaming it on not having reception.

I know, but you can't do that here. Working on the go seamlessly requires a strong network, which is why you should check out T Mobile sona. Okay, then you got no excuses. America's largest and fastest 5g network. With T Mobile, you'll be covered in more places with the 5g speed you need for your life on the go.

Plus, they also cover more highway miles with 5g than anybody else. Check it out if you don't believe me. Hey, blay, you've got t mobile, right? I do. I was actually just up in the woods in idlewild.

Blay
It was fantastic for the weekend. And my T mobile didn't miss it. My t mobile phone didn't miss it. You know, I wouldn't think you'd need a cell phone. Cause you speak so loudly into a microphone.

Well, I had to look some stuff up. Just take it. Just take it down. I didn't know what brunch was. I can hear him.

Restaurant's open for brunch. Okay. So I used my T mobile coverage. To check it out. Terrific way.

Conan O'Brien
That's all right. Anyway, wherever you are, take it from the loudspeaking blay. If you're on the go, you want to be in the know, you want to make the show. What? T mobile?

That's the one for you. I should have rhymed it with go. Anyway, find out more at t mobile.com. network today. Coverage not available in some areas fastest based on median overall combined 5g speeds, according to analysis by Ookla of Speed test Intelligence data Q 320 23.

See 5g device coverage and access details at t mobile.com dot.

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Miller Brewing Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin 96 calories per 12oz this show is sponsored by betterhelp Sona. Years going by quickly. What's something you're proud of in 2024 so far? You know, I'm proud my children haven't burned anything down. Yeah, they're terrors.

Sona Movsesian
Yeah. But they're beautiful kids. And you're a great mom. Oh, that's an amazing. You really are.

It is. A lot of it's stress and anxiety. But it's, you know, it's important to take a moment every now and then and recognize the wins that you've had in life. Okay? When life goes fast, it's important to take a moment and just celebrate the fact that you've had these accomplishments.

Conan O'Brien
Like, your kid's not destroying a whole city. And then you make adjustments for the rest of the year. Therapy can help you do all of this, can help you take stock of your progress and set achievable goals for the next six months. If you're thinking at all of starting therapy, I would just say, give betterhelp a try. Okay.

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Sona Movsesian
I got too high once at Disneyland. At Disneyland? Yeah. I thought I was this the time. Where you thought that the pirates from the pirates of the Caribbean were going to come out of that fortress and.

I didn't think they were coming out of the fortress. I thought that we were taking a boat into a battle. I have an idea. You're right. That's so.

Conan O'Brien
I have an idea. I have an idea. Just to test out what it's like to call the poison control, Pam, I'm going to have. Sona is calling you right now, and she's going to describe her situation. She's at Disneyland, but she's going to give you all that information.

So you make the call and you pick up Pam, if you would ring, ring. Okay. Hi. Hi. I think she would start by saying poison control.

Pam
Poison control, this is Pam. Let's try it again. And three, two, one, go. Pam. Poison control, this is Pam.

Can I have your name? I think it's Sona. I think it's Sona. I'm in right now. I'm at Disneyland.

Sona Movsesian
I'm on the pirates of the Caribbean ride.

I can't be completely sure, but I'm pretty. I think. I think I'm going into battle and I'm not prepared for it. Oh, okay. So is there anything that you've eaten or drinking out of?

Pam
The usual. I took about 100 milligrams of cannabis edibles. Okay. Okay. Yes.

That is a lot. Goofy. How are you? You want a fucking. You want a photo?

Conan O'Brien
You want a photo with your. Get the fuck away from me. Goofy. But I'm real goofy. Can you believe that impression?

That's shit. I'm goofy. That's had some larynx cancer, and I had an operation. And I think it's wrong of the other goofy to make fun of me. We all have doppelgangers around here.

Matt Gourley
Here's a knockoff, Mickey. I've also had problems. I smoked for years. I love Minnie Mouse. What you're gonna want to do is just.

But, Pam, we're kind of busy over here. I sound like Harry. Carrie. Now, you're probably hungry, right? I'm so hungry.

Sona Movsesian
I've already eaten seven personal pan pizzas, and I just feel like I just need to eat more. That's okay. Yeah, you can have a snack. You need to just go somewhere. Not a ride.

Pam
Get a snack, drink fluids, and you're gonna feel better in a couple of hours. You will. Can I sleep on this pork bench.

If Disney will allow it. That's another question. Yeah, if Disney will allow it. The answer is usually no goofy impression. I'm sorry, what the fuck was that?

Conan O'Brien
I told you that was a guy who played goofy successfully for a while and sounded accurate. And then. I'm sorry, he had a large nodule in his larynx, which that turned out not to be benign, but why? And they removed it. Why is he still working at this?

He needs to eat. This is what he does. Hey, and you try firing someone from their job because they had cancer surgery. Okay, so no, Disney did the right thing. They said you could goofy, goofy talk in the park.

This one insists on it because he's trying to make a little extra dough so he can help pay off the operation. Hi, I'm goofy. Don't smoke. Hey, kids. Don't smoke.

Why is Katie telling. I'm canadian. I'm from Ottawa. Yeah, don't smoke. Pam, this got real stupid real fast.

I'm gonna say some things. First of all, I love her manner. She is very. You would calm me down. And I think I have a tendency.

I'm compulsive. I either don't eat or I eat. Sona will back me up on this. I eat compulsively. Like, I'll shove a whole pizza into my face and I could see myself calling Pam just to say I just ate half of a herringboard ham and I drank three guinness and need to be talked down.

I wouldn't take a poison, but I would do the irish thing of stuffing way too much bad stuff into my face. You're gonna call poison control and be like, can I please talk to Pam? Get me Pam, or I don't talk to anyone. And if I die, it's your fault. Yeah, do you have an extension, Pam?

Yeah, Pam. How do I make sure I just get you? I do, but they go off of like, where your zip code is. So you guys would get the California. But they're all lovely there.

Hey, man, nothing. I haven't smoked, man. No, I'm telling you, I really think I'm dying. Hey, man, we all move on to the next plane. I don't want to call the California boys in control.

Yeah, that's a pretty good goofy. That's my goofy. Yeah. Hey, man. Chu Donald Duck.

He's a cool cat. I will say that, like, we are at poison control. Very part of the job is being like, level headed, you know, despite whatever cause people call in very, very nervous. And so like, job number one is. To be like, be calm.

Pam
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also exude calm, because if people are. On a serious note, if people are worked up, they're probably processing whatever they ingested more quickly. If you people have to be calm and think, you know. And that's why I sincerely think you have a great manner, you have a great personality for this.

Conan O'Brien
Like, you talked to Sona when, I mean, she was high. She was at Disney World, Disneyland, and she was being attacked by several goofies, three of them that had had some sort of tracheal surgery. And you handled it like a pro. I thought you did amazingly well. Thanks.

How many kids do you have? Two. How often do you use your poison control expertise with your own kids? Twins. You have twins a lot.

Sona has twins. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you do? I do.

Pam
That's exciting. Yeah, yeah, I think I do remember. Yeah. How old are your twins? They are gonna be eight in August, so.

Conan O'Brien
Oh, my God. Okay. You're further down the road. Sonas are only almost there. Gonna be three in July.

Sona Movsesian
Yeah. That's a rough age, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I feel it gets better. But there's that age where they just eat anything.

Pam
They just swallow anything and they're in opposite directions and. Yeah, yeah. So it was. It was convenient. When they were, like, three, I kind of knew what to worry about and, like, what not to.

And. Yeah. And now that my kids are older, they're, you know, in second grade, I tell them, because I get school nurse calls, too, of, like, dares. And kids, you know, it's their job to be stupid, and they just do really dumb stuff. And I just tell the kids, like, don't.

Like, they have these really spicy chips that kids eat to, like, see who could handle the spiciest thing, and I'm like, don't do it. Just say no. You know? Yeah. But the problem is I'm a full grown, full ass, mature adult, and I went on hot ones, right.

Conan O'Brien
And I went out of my way to ingest as much poison as I could just because I thought it would be funny. So I am no more mature than. A four year old boy, but it was funny. Oh, I got my laughs. Yeah.

Sona Movsesian
Yeah. Yeah. I think it was worth it. It was worth the. For me.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah, we enjoyed it. As long as you laughed, I'm happy. Yeah. You're welcome. Yeah, sometimes the trade off might be worth it, you know?

Pam
I guess you gotta weigh that, but, you know. Well, Pam, you are a so funny poison controller person, but you're a ray of sunshine, which is awesome. You really are. Yeah. It's very nice talking to you.

And I am going to request a long time. I'm going to request you when I call. I might travel to her city to take poison. Here's what I'm going to do. No, I'm going to take the poison.

Conan O'Brien
Accidentally realize, uh oh, this is a problem. Immediately book a flight to New York. Have a car waiting. That will drive me to to Southington, Connecticut. And then from there, I will call and I will say, I will only speak to Pam.

And they'll say, she doesn't work Thursdays. And then, Pam, I'm coming to your house. Yeah. All right. So nice talking to you.

Pam
Yeah, so nice talking to you, too. Take care. Take care of me. Bye bye. Bye bye.

Matt Gourley
Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien Sonam of sessions and Matt Gorley produced by me Matt Gorley Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at yearwolf theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples Engineering by Eduardo Perez additional production support by Mars Melnick Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple podcasts and you might find your review read on a future episode. Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message.

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