Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson

This episode features a lively and humorous discussion with actors Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson, focusing on their careers, personal stories, and a new podcast they are launching together.

1. Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson have a deep, enduring friendship that translates into delightful banter and storytelling.
2. Woody's recent motorcycle accident leads to both humorous and serious reflections on safety and lifestyle choices.
3. The duo's new podcast promises to be a hit, offering listeners a mix of humor, celebrity tales, and personal insights.
4. Both actors share a penchant for pranks and fun, highlighting their playful nature and how it has helped them bond.
5. Their discussion on the dynamics of Hollywood and past roles offers an insider’s look into the entertainment industry.

1: Introduction

The episode kicks off with Conan warmly welcoming his guests, leading to immediate banter about everyday absurdities and recent events, including Woody’s motorcycle incident. Ted Danson: "I wrapped it myself; thought it looked funnier that way."

2: Career Reflections

Ted and Woody delve into their storied careers, touching on significant roles and their impact on personal and professional growth. Woody Harrelson: "Every role is a part of us; it's hard to separate entirely."

3: Launching the Podcast

Discussion about their new podcast, its inception, and what listeners can expect, sprinkled with anecdotes from their "Cheers" days. Conan O’Brien: "What can listeners expect from your new venture together?"

4: Hollywood and Personal Insights

A deeper look into their views on life, including how Hollywood fame impacts personal identity and relationships. Ted Danson: "It's all about finding balance between the personal and professional."

5: Concluding Thoughts

The episode wraps with reflections on past experiences and excitement for future projects, leaving listeners with a sense of anticipation for more. Woody Harrelson: "Stay tuned, we’ve got stories for days."

• Cherish long-term friendships; they can enrich both your personal life and professional collaborations.
• Always wear protective gear when riding motorcycles, as accidents can happen to anyone.
• Consider starting creative projects with friends to explore new dimensions in your relationships.
• Maintain a sense of humor even in professional settings to keep the atmosphere light and enjoyable.
• Reflect on and learn from past experiences to guide future decisions and improve safety and well-being.

Woody Harrelson feels supercalifragilistic about being Conan O’Brien’s friend; Ted Danson feels scared.
Woody and Ted sit down with Conan to discuss their new podcast Where Everybody Knows Your Name with Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson (Sometimes), meeting, and pranking each other, on the set of Cheers, houseboat aspirations, and more. Later, Conan consults with his de facto assistant David Hopping about his presence on TikTok.

People

Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson, Conan O'Brien

Companies

None

Books

None

Guest Name(s):

Ted Danson, Woody Harrelson

Content Warnings:

None

Conan O'Brien
Sona, this was a very nice day today. It was, because over here at our headquarters, we got this great gift. Tillamook ice cream. I'm a monster for ice cream. I know you are, too.

Sona Movsesian
I want to take a bath in it, and then I want to eat. Eat the. I eat the bath. Wait, what? I want to, like, bathe in it, but then I want to eat it as I'm bathing it.

Woody Harrelson
Yeah. Yeah. That's a simple concept. You made it much more complicated. I'm sorry.

Conan O'Brien
Fill a bathtub with tillamook ice cream. I will get in it, and then I will eat my way out. That's all you need to do. Here we go. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They have so many great. It's such good, and they have so many great flavors. I mean, just off the top of my head, I don't know. Birthday cake, caramel swirl Banana Split caramel Toffee Crunch Chocolate chip, chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough, I think it was butter pecan cookies and cream, french vanilla chocolate peanut butter malted mousshake, I think is one I can't remember too well.

Mounted huckleberry Tillamook mudslide Marionberry pie monster cookie, old fashioned vanilla Rocky Road Oregon dark cherry Waffle cone swirl peppermint bark. I'm just going off memory here, but holiday sugar cookie, orange and cream. Anyway, so many great flavors and just incredible. You know, they. They really put.

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Sona Movsesian
I know. Me neither. And they've made it simple. You know what I mean? I'm terrible.

Conan O'Brien
I can't get an electric toothbrush to function properly. Yeah. So easy. Even Conan O'Brien can do it. That's what they should say.

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Woody Harrelson
My name is Woody Harrelson. I feel super califragilistic about being here on Conan. Thank you so much.

Ted Danson
Hi, my name is Ted Danson. I feel scared about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Matt Gorley
Fall is here. Hear the l, back to school ring. The bell brand the shoes walking blues climb the floor books and pens I can tell that we are gonna be friends yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends hey, there. Welcome to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Joined, as always, by my good pals, Sona mufsesian.

Conan O'Brien
Hey, Sona. Hey. And Mister Matt Gorley. Hi, boss. Please don't call me boss.

Matt Gorley
Hi, lackey. You went completely the other way. Hi, friend. It is a little strange because other podcasts tape here as part of our company, our growing empire. You said r, but it's yours.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah, it's implied. Well, no, now it's official. It's ours. Yeah, okay, we got it. Oh, yeah, that's legally binding.

But Mister Ted Danson is here all the time working, who's one of the most delightful, cool people ever. And he'll walk in and he'll go, hey, boss, to me, I'll be like, no, no, no, no. He does it as kind of a joke, but there's no realm. You know, there's a hierarchy and a ranking in show business, and Ted Danson is way above me in every way. And I think it's very funny when he walks by and says, hey, boss, good to see you.

I feel like telling him, yeah, go clean that toilet, Danson. Yeah. You weren't waiting for us to be like, no, no, you guys are on the same. You weren't waiting for that, were you fishing for it? I knew I wasn't fishing for it.

And also, I kind of did for a bit, and no one said a word. Okay, I thought so, because neither one of us was gonna say anything. No, no. You went out of your way to fill a tall glass of water. Yeah.

And then drink all of it. And then you took a ten minute nap, and in that period of time, I was still waiting. No, it's just funny. He's got a. Just reminded me that it's fun seeing him around.

Matt Gorley
Which one of you is taller? It's a good question. I haven't lined myself up. I don't know. He carries himself a little taller.

Conan O'Brien
He was here the other day sleeping. Remember when he was sleeping on a couch? I wasn't here, but, yeah, he was. Here, and he was sleeping on a couch. And the door was open.

We all walked by, and we were staring at a sleeping Ted Danson. When you see a celebrity, it's fascinating. You didn't have, like, an impulse to go up and just kind of nuzzle and cuddle him, or. No. No.

That's a crime. That's a crime. I was gonna ask if you were gonna put a blanket on him. You said, nuzzle and cuddle him. No, he was perfectly fine and happy.

Did anyone here witness it? You saw it. But I think putting a blanket on. Him would've been nice. I saw it.

We're not talking to people in Dealey Plaza. It wasn't. I mean, for Christ's sake. So it's like you saw. You seem traumatized.

It's I wouldn't say it's funny ha ha funny. It's just kind of arresting to see someone who literally think about all the shows he's been in, how dominant he's been. He's beloved. And then he's completely inert, and his computer shut down, and he's stretched out on a couch. Yeah, it was fascinating to see.

Well, no, I didn't think of it. What's that? You nap all the time, but you like to lay down, like to recharge yourself. Maybe he was just recharging. But have you ever seen me sleeping?

Oh, I've seen you sleeping well. I know. And I found the hole in the wall, by the way. You creep. There's more than one.

Woody Harrelson
There's more than one. There's a whole new wall. That's why I'm asleep at night. No. Have you Sona, over the years, you've probably seen me sleep.

Sona Movsesian
I have seen you sleep. Have you stared at when we were on tour, I think there was a time when you were like, I'm just gonna nap for a bit. And I had nowhere else to go, so I just stayed in the room and was on my, uh, my computer. Right. So you saw me completely out.

Yeah. Did you get the impulse to nuzzle him? No. Not at all. No.

And I didn't want to put a blanket on him either. Matt, just to be clear, what you're talking about is creepy. It's creepy. It's not creepy for the aggressor, okay?

Conan O'Brien
I'm trying to get more women to weigh in on this. What was the question? Is it creepy to nuzzle and cuddle someone when they're napping and not knowing it? It is. It is.

You have to give her a chance to. I'm sorry. Yes. Okay. I'm loving giving so little.

Sona Movsesian
I know Joe just likes to just keep it close to me. I love that. I love that you give so little that it's very funny to me. Yes. No.

Conan O'Brien
Yes. Is the world ending tomorrow? Yes. No.

Good. That's a good answer. Yeah. You can't be nuzzling people, but I just found it kind of fascinating. I know.

Sona Movsesian
I think that's pretty cool. And I'm such a dynamic personality. It must be kind of strange to see me completely shut down. You know, it's like a. You know those pointed at me, like, back me up.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah. What I'm saying is, imagine a. One of those mechanical bucking broncos, but you see it shut down and on its side must be kind of strange or a whirligig or Ferris wheel, something that's very dynamic and entertaining to all, but it's shut down. The point, like, back me up. Come on.

Woody Harrelson
That's your. Say it myself. I sound like a dick, but point of you. He backed me up, and it's okay. A warehouse full of the most fantastical fireworks anyone's ever seen.

Conan O'Brien
But unlit, lying inert on their side in a dank warehouse. Right, sona and go. Just a quick yes. That's all we need.

Sona Movsesian
Anyway, so Ted Danson was here napping. Yeah, he was napping. That's pretty cool. All right, well, we got to get to it. We got a lot to talk about.

Matt Gorley
Who's our guest? Well, let's hope he's napping. I want to go take a picture. If ever there's someone you could nuzzle. You are King Creek.

Love a good cuddle. Actually, we are blessed with two guests today. This is unusual. Yeah. They start on the legendary sitcom cheers.

Conan O'Brien
Now they have a new podcast called where everybody knows your name. New episodes release every Wednesday. Wherever you get your podcasts. This is. This is a joy.

Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson welcome.

You and I have never seen eye to eye. No. And you're my boss, which makes this really awkward. You know, it's so funny. You always referenced me as your boss, which is very sweet.

I don't think I am. Really, I don't think. I think it's possible that I could ever be the boss of either one of you. You guys are higher than me in the showbiz totem pole. It's not possible.

Right? It's just not possible. Absolutely not possible. He's definitely my boss, and we don't even, like, care. Yeah, it doesn't imply respect.

There's no respect needed. This begs the question, what are we doing here exactly? This was a huge booking mistake on somebody's. Listen, I'm so thrilled to talk to you. I know you guys have a podcast you do together, and I am delighted that you are here and I get to speak to you.

You're both drinking what looks like blood out of glasses. Woody. Maybe, but mine's apple. Okay. And watermelon.

I think we should address the elephant in the room. Woody, we started a little bit later than we thought. Because you had a bit of a tumble. Is it fair to call it a tumble? I think a tumble's a fair term, yeah.

Woody Harrelson
Did go over my handlebars. You went over the handlebars? Honestly and embarrassingly, I was passing this Tesla on the left that I felt was moving a little slow, but I didn't realize he was moving slow because he's taking a left. Yes. And you were on a motorcycle?

On a motorcycle, yes. And is that your primary way of getting around a motorcycle? Well, I always feel like the shortest distance between two points in LA is a motorcycle, so I do tend to take it. But today it proved not to be so very fast in terms of. Right.

Because transporting. We lost some time while people were figuring out, are you alive? Your soul had to re enter your body. Yeah. Did you think for a second when you were going over the hood of the Tesla, did you think, this is gonna be a huge problem, or did you.

Conan O'Brien
The whole time, were you thinking, I'm all right? No, I always thought I'd be okay. I just felt like there was some pain involved. I felt the pain, but I never thought I'd be, you know, killed or anything. Okay.

Woody Harrelson
Or named. Your hand is wrapped up like someone in a cartoon. That's cause I wrapped it. Did you and you. Is this true?

Ted Danson
You wrapped up? I thought it looked funnier that way.

Conan O'Brien
So let me get this straight. All of your first aid training is helping people in a way that will look funny? Yeah. It's not gonna help him not get infected or anything like that? You didn't set the bones in the proper way.

You set them in the funny way. Funny way. Okay. And we're in the bathroom, and I'm like, didn't you played a doctor? Right.

Woody Harrelson
And he says, yeah, I also played a lawyer, so we can sue the guy. Well, I think it's gonna have to be a lawyer for the defense. I'm not as good with that. Sorry. This is fascinating just to be behind the scenes and know that, Woody, you're headed here to do the podcast with your friend Ted Danson.

Conan O'Brien
You wipe out on the motorcycle, you hit a Tesla, you get it together, you come here, you need medical attention. So Ted Danson is the one that helps clean the wound and wrap you? Yes. Why haven't we called a real doctor. At any point, I take Ted Danson over.

Sona Movsesian
A real doctor. Yeah. Thank you very much, by the way, his confidence, his demeanor, everything about the way he does it is you feel like, yes, I'm in the best hands. Never doubted. I did kind of have that.

Ted Danson
I was choking back tears, but I was efficient. First of all, I'm very happy that you're okay. It's weird when he asked me to disrobe, but I'm gonna.

Skirt over that purpose. It's for hygienic and also tax purposes. Thank you. So do you wear. What kind of protection do you wear when you wear.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, we're not doing that. Protection. The other protection, are you armored in any way? Are you wearing a helmet?

Woody Harrelson
I did. I was wearing a helmet. Okay. And so actually, it did help me because I did hit my head, but the helmet, so no problem. Okay, good.

Ted Danson
Where do you at? This makes me sad, buddy. Really? Yeah, yeah. Don't be sad.

Conan O'Brien
I am. I'm sad, sad. And why couldn't hurt badly. Badly. Does it.

Does it inform what you might do in the future? Might you? No, that's out of the question. I'm sure. Probably it should.

Woody Harrelson
It certainly should. Yeah. But this is how you are, right? You living life on the edge. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe? Yeah, right? In other words, maybe I should just slow down in life and just take. It a little bit. Hey, you're doing great.

Ted Danson
You skinned your hand. Man up. Sorry, I'm switch. I'm switched. You just switched.

I had my cheery moment. Sorry. Literally 15 seconds ago, you said, I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm boyfriend, and I'm so sad.

Conan O'Brien
And then you're telling him to shut the fuck up. Right? My sadness didn't play in the room, so I'm sorry. You talk about me going slower. My sadness didn't play in the room.

That is such a sick thing to say. Such a sick thing to say. Oh, wow. We're here in the ward with the terminally ill children. Hope you guys feel better soon.

Tough break. Hey, that didn't play so well. Let me try something else. Hey, Timmy, how long you got? Jesus Christ, Ted.

I know what you mean, though, Woody. There's something about Ted. Every time I've talked to him, see him out in the world, I'm immediately I just get this calm. You have a very calming presence and I don't. Yes.

Is some of it maybe related to the fact that you are so ubiquitous and well known? Yes. Correct. But do other people say that you just, you'd be like an amazing therapist? You know, I'm doing these moderate to severe plaque psoriasis commercials, which I think tells you all you need to know that under this I am, by the way.

Woody Harrelson
Yeah, you can calm other people, but there's no calmness. No calm, period. Yeah. Now, do you suffer from this malady or is they just the money is too much to turn down? I live on the edge of fear, basically.

Conan O'Brien
Really? Yes. I remember you sitting me down once during cheers, and I think I was about to get divorced or something. He said, teddy, why are you so fearful? Stuck in my head all the time.

Ted Danson
And that's what I find amazing. You may have fear and all of that, but you take such big chunks out of life, and I love that. And yourself, apparently I lost a chunk. Larchmont, is this on camera, by the way? I think we're going to see this.

Conan O'Brien
It's comical. That's the thing one of the three stooges would put on their heads. Does anyone have an ice pack? I haven't seen an ice pack like that in fish. That's a bad idea, though.

Woody Harrelson
Does it look cool? Oh, yeah, it looks really cool. Well, this is. Okay, this is a dichotomy you two have. You guys meet on cheers.

Conan O'Brien
You come in second season, third season, third. So you wait until third. Yeah. 4th. 4th.

Okay, so you, we remember it well. Yeah. You guys worked together for. And when you came in, the show was, was hitting on all cylinders close to. We were working our way up from dead last.

Ted Danson
And I think we were in the twenties maybe, when you arrived. Right. It was Bill Cosby and his show that pulled us up by the bootstraps. Right. And then you become the show, which is for a long time and not just popular, but also beautifully written, really well acted, just perfectly done show, and sort of a iconic sitcom.

Conan O'Brien
But you come into this thing and this is curious. Were you scared when you came under the show? Because I don't think of you as a guy that would be too worried or self conscious. Would you? Well, you know, I gotta say I remember, I'll never forget the time where you're standing.

Woody Harrelson
I'm standing off stage ready to enter the bar and there's a red light that goes on, as Teddy knows. And so I'm just waiting for this red light and I know that there's whatever, 500 people in the audience as well as, you know, it's going to be seen nationally, which is stuff I've never experienced. So, I mean, I had experienced a lot of theater in college, which is what really helped me not just fall completely apart. I don't know how someone who hadn't had a little bit of that going on prior could just go into that situation and not just melt. But I do remember the fear.

And then that red light came on and then, boom, just walked in, you know, started talking to Teddy behind and. Hit a home run. I mean, your first joke was through the roof and the audience immediately, I. Think it was where I was saying, I used to exchange, what is it? I was pen pals with coach and he goes, oh, would you exchange letters?

And he goes, I go, no pins.

Conan O'Brien
It's a good joke. Which was so brilliant. I mean, you nailed it. But the writing is so brilliant because here's the person who's going to take the slot, in essence, that kind of pure, innocent slot that Nick Colisanto, the coach played who had passed away, and you immediately say, oh, they're kindred spirits because they're both exchanging pens and thinking it's wonderful.

Ted Danson
Kind of brilliant. Now I've heard that you guys kind of wanted to haze Woody when he first showed up because the whole crew is, the whole cast is very tight, famously tight. And you guys wanted to haze him by playing basketball. Well, we were 37 when he showed up and he was 25, I believe. 24.

24. Fuck stick. Sorry. We can cut that out, I'm sure. No, no, you said, your honor, he said fuck stick.

Conan O'Brien
Sustained, sustained. Thank you. Thank you. 37 is when you realize you're no longer 25 or 24. So it was more not like hazing it.

Ted Danson
We just wanted to kick his ass in anything we could find. We started with basketball and as you later found out in life, these are really good basketball players. So he kicked our asses there. Next I have a vision of Johnny Ratzenberger, who played Cliff out on the lawn by the stage doing the leg wrestling where you're both on your back and you try to flip the other guy with just your leg. Johnny's.

Johnny's got strong. John's strong and got some thighs on him. Woody kicked his ass. I literally have a bad elbow to this day. Cause I wouldn't give up arm wrestling, you know?

And he. I did finally give up because he was kicking my butt. So then we moved chess. Fuck this. You know.

Sorry. To heck with this physical stuff. We're gonna beat him. Mentally killed us at chess. So this is all in the first week, really.

So from then on, it was like, if you had some awful meme prank to pull, you would not waste it on anyone else except Woody. So, you know, and he's. To this day, that's Woody Harrelson. It was the greatest reception I could imagine. Everybody was so lovely, so kind.

Woody Harrelson
So I just remember, you know, one moment that did kind of freak me out a little, was. I remember just Shelley, like, was standing there, and I was behind the bar instead of coach, and she's just like, oh, I miss coach. You know, something like that. Which was a perfectly understandable. You should have said, he's dead.

Jeez. Snap out of it, coach. He ain't coming back. I'm sorry. That's how I talk to people.

Maybe I should have tried it. You should have tried it? Yeah. You knew? You just do it.

Conan O'Brien
It's my job now, see, but, you. Know, I just saw these guys dealing with the loss of their dear friend teammate, and. But, boy, they couldn't have been nicer. Just. It was.

Woody Harrelson
It was the most wonderful job. And, you know, Teddy at the. At the head of it. Teddy and Jimmy, really. And just the way they.

You know, they're just amazing people. Teddy, to this day, is just always, you know. You saw how he took care of me. No. He literally took you into the bathroom and wrapped you up, which he offered to do to me about a week ago.

Conan O'Brien
And I still don't know what that was all about. He said, no. I wish to wrap you. Come on in. All right.

I said, I have various salves and rappings. Ted, you've said that you are really not at all like Sam Malone, that you are quite different in that, you know, of course, Sam Malone's a ladies man, and I would just. I just would have assumed that, you know, good looking guy, and I literally. Literally would have to have a woman stark naked in front of me, and I'd still be going, me, me. I didn't go to block.

Looking behind you. Is there someone behind me? Here's my mode of seduction when I was younger was. It's just me, Ted, one of the girls. Let's take our clothes off.

How did this penis get here? Maybe it's time he's talked to you for a minute, trying to clean this up. Sona does that trick. Does that work ever? I'm just one of the girls.

Sona Movsesian
I mean, it would work if it's Ted Danson. Honestly? Yeah, I think it would. Okay. Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
So you're suggesting I not try it? I would not try it if I were you. Good. Okay. Good advice.

But do you feel like you're closer to Woody than. I mean, aside from your name being Woody. Woody boyd then than Ted is to Sam Malone? I mean, it's hard to say because there's so much of ourselves in any character we play, but, you know, way. The fuck smarter than Woody was.

Ted Danson
Bless his heart. But. Sorry, is that. That hurts a little. Yeah.

Woody Harrelson
Thanks for saying no, but I just felt he was more naive than. Yes, very good. I mean, that was my standard. He's naive, not stupid. Sorry.

Conan O'Brien
Trusting. Yeah. Trusting. All good qualities. But I don't know, that's hard to gauge.

Woody Harrelson
I don't think I could gauge that. Yeah. It's so funny. Cause since cheers, you've both gone on and played all these different parts. I think it'd be difficult for some people to move on from an iconic sitcom like that.

Conan O'Brien
And both of you, it's been. It's, from my perspective, been a cakewalk. Like, you've both just taken on all these very different roles and handled it beautifully and found all kinds of other playgrounds to play in. And I know that there's some luck involved, but clearly that's also a gift and craft. Can you guys handle that compliment?

Woody Harrelson
Yeah, I think very much so. Yeah, that was good. I think that went down a little too easy. I saw no struggle. We're expecting something a little.

I felt like a vacuum with that compliment. You just sucked it right up. What was your. Can I ask Woody what his first movie was after playing Woody Boyd? First movie after.

Ted Danson
After natural born killers. Oh, that's right. Talking about changing the subject. Talk about a 180. Yeah.

Yeah. That was astounding.

Conan O'Brien
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If you're thinking at all of starting therapy, I would just say, give betterhelp a try. Okay. It's got some advantages. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. And that's a huge advantage. So take a moment. Visit betterhelp.com Conant today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp help.com conan.

I talked to you about this, Woody, but I love, love, love. I'm a big Coen brothers fan, but I love no country for old men. The scene you have where your character knows it's over and you're sitting in your chair talking to an assassin who you know is going to kill you. And it's this fidgety mixture of, I accept this and I'm going to try and talk my way out of it at the same time. And I just, I love that performance.

And I thought, you know, for both of you, you've had a chance to have these moments where you get to really play these different shadings and do these different things that you never would have gotten to do on cheers, which is really cool. That's totally true. You know, as to that scene, like, I was shooting another somewhat forgettable movie in Vegas at the same time, so I was going back and forth, and that was in New Mexico, the one no country. So I came back and I got this stuff out of the book because it was a book, no country. And I got these things out of the book that I thought would kind of cool in the scene.

Woody Harrelson
But I'd heard they don't like to change much in terms of the script, the Coen brothers. But anyway, these things are so good. So I added these little elements, rewrote the scene. Rewrote it. Well, you know, I just typed it.

Yeah. Anyway, I come in, I get ahold of Javier, who's the other character in the scene. Javier Bardem. Yep, Javier Bardem. And then we meet over at his hotel room, and we rehearse.

Rehearse. Come in the next morning, rehearse it again. And then they come into my trailer, and then me and Javier perform the newly written scene for the brothers. And at the end of it, they're like, oh, we like it the way it was. It's good.

Didn't change your word. Did you both laugh? Did you laugh? Do you remember? I think we laughed right at that moment.

We'd done a lot of work to try to. But anyway, later, of course, they turned out to be right. Probably right then. They were right.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah, they would. If we got them on the line, they would say, no, no. At that moment, we were right. There was no getting to be right. Those guys, man, they're incredible.

I was thinking about Ted for if you look at, you have, obviously, Becker damages. But then the good place, I thought, was such a talk about a show where you were allowed to inhabit all these different realities that were fantastic. It almost felt like a children's morality play. It had that quality to it. It's one of the things I'm most proud that I was part of.

Ted Danson
It wasn't easy. No, I wouldn't think so. To shoot, the language was so elevated. You just had to work your ass. Off, because Mike Schur.

Yeah. Brilliant, brilliant showrunner creator. There's a moment at the end of the first season of good place where for anyone who hasn't watched the show, you need to binge watch it. But there's a huge o. Henry twist at the end of the first season, which I did not see coming.

Conan O'Brien
And it all hinges on your face, because you're busted on something, and your face has to. We have to find out who you really are, and you transform in that moment. And I was like, one of the best things I've seen on tv in memory. It was great. That's cool.

Ted Danson
It went, that whole kind of ending went viral at the same time that Netflix picked it up to run it on there on Netflix, and it just catapulted us in this great way. All of a sudden, people are going back and watching the whole season. So, by the way, we are all but sworn to secrecy about the ending, naturally, even before we started shooting. I blew it.

Don't give me a secret if it's really important. Wait, on which on the ending of. The whole series or the ending of the first episode? You blew that? Well, I didn't blow it, but I did have loose lips.

Yes. I was talking to my friend John Krasinski, and I was telling, he said, what are you doing next? I said, oh, I'm working with your friend Mike Shore. You know, it takes place, it's in the afterlife. And I start telling him what it's about.

And I can see him go the office, but in heaven, in his head. No, no, no, wait a minute. You don't get it. See, what happens at the end is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I gave away the whole secret.

Conan O'Brien
Into a megaphone and then had to. Pretend in front of everybody in all these kind of cast meetings of, let's keep this private. Please don't blow this. I go, yeah. No, no.

Ted Danson
Yeah, you're absolutely right. Next thing you want to take the lead in that, you want to stand up and go, this is really important. Guys, listen up. Listen up. Cause someone's been squawking to Krasinski, who I'm not a fan of and don't talk to.

Woody Harrelson
And he's literally like one degree of separation from everyone, knowledge. He knows every soul. And, of course, Larry David. You work with Larry David. You've been such a big part of crib.

Ted Danson
I just worked with Larry. You were on this year, weren't you? Yeah, you were. I got to be on one. Yeah.

What was your bit on the show? Well, thanks for, you know, watching it, but you weren't in it, so I don't expect you would, but no. Did you watch mine, Woody? Did you watch my episode? Yours was great.

What was your favorite moment about? Did you like me as a magician? That was some top.

Woody Harrelson
So fun.

You know the thing with the scars, man, all the scars. I wasn't a magician. I tricked you.

No, but yeah. What was your episode? I do a thing where it was funny because I'm supposed to. I play myself, but I'm going on, I'm getting an Academy Award. And then I do this whole thing where I talk about mistreatment of cows, and then he wants to do a show with me.

So I go over and I meet with him, and then he's like, well, pitching at the thing or something. And then I'm like, this milk you have, is that milk? And he remembers because he saw the. Oh, oh, no, no, that's. That's from my.

My cow on my farm. And, well, anyway, so I'm like, we should go out there and see. Of course, yes. And anyway, so things go bad out in the farm, and in the end of it, I'm like, I'm throwing cherries at him or something. And I'm saying, Ted Danson was right about you.

Ted Danson
I'm always the asshole on his show. But, you know, it's funny, but I improvised that. That wasn't his idea. Oh, once again. Yeah, yeah.

Conan O'Brien
Once again, the Coen brothers were wrong.

You wanted to throw cherries at Javier Bardem in this emotionally packed scene. Can I tell you how wounded I have been over the years because of what he's gonna. Horribly wounded. I once pants him in front of a full audience, and he decided he was his day of going commando or something. So it was very effective, and it pissed him off.

Ted Danson
But later, a year later. Cause he's like a killer. He waits and he waits and he waits. And he invited me to his premiere of his movie. It was Doc.

Conan O'Brien
Hollywood. Hollywood. He's kind of a hick in the movie. And then at the end, all the. Pardon the slang, hicks come to Hollywood, and they're sitting around watching, but he comes to me and he says, ted, I really want you to come to my movie, the premiere.

Ted Danson
I so respect what you think, and it would mean a lot to me. And he just laid it on, and I was just so chuffed. I felt so happy. My new friend loved me this much, and I show up and he says, dad, dad, over here. Sit right behind me.

I got a great seat. I saw sitting right behind him. God bless Woody Harrelson. I love him so much. The end of the movie comes, and all the hicks are sitting around this coffee shop in Hollywood, and you hear the last two lines are, oh, there's a movie star.

And then was it you said, no, no, that's Ted Danson.

The whole audience roared with laughter, and I had to. Ha ha. It was deep. Beautifully done. Beautifully done.

Woody Harrelson
Yeah. Revenge is a dish best served cold. All right, well, on the theme of revenge is a dish best served cold. I've got a bone to pick with you, Woody. Thank you.

Ted Danson
Good. Here we go. What did I do? Well, let's say you guys are, I don't know how many. It was maybe six months ago.

Conan O'Brien
You guys are recording a podcast here and afterwards, you're out in the hallway, and you come up to me, and we're chatting, and you say, hey, Conan, how about going in 50 50 with me on a houseboat in Amsterdam? And I never in my life said, yes, faster. Not because I want a houseboat, not because I want to be hanging out in Amsterdam, which is a fine place, but I wanted to be able to say, yeah, I co own a houseboat with Woody Harrelson. I think that's in Amsterdam. I think that would be the coolest thing in the world to say.

So I said to you, yes. And you went, well, you need to talk to your wife. And they went, nope, we're in. Whatever it costs, I don't care. I'm in.

You went, well, that's great. That's great, because we're really thinking about doing this. And I said, well, I'm in. I'm in. I'm your guy.

And you went, well, great. Great, man. This will be great. Come in. Don't see you for a while.

Come in, like, two weeks later, and you're in this room interviewing flea and red hot chili peppers, and you say, hey, man, you want to go in 50 50 on a houseboat in Amsterdam? And I'm out there, and I'm like, asshole. Asshole. Conan. Just cause Flea came along, who's cooler than Conan?

Ted Danson
He came to me. No, but he changed the fucking city to Copenhagen. What? A houseboat in Copenhagen? What's going on?

Conan O'Brien
I'm serious. This is not a bit. Hey, America. I know this is not a bit. What are you doing?

Is there a houseboat? Is there a houseboat? And where is it? And now you've got flea on the line. I'm on the line.

Ted's on the line. We went. No, we were in Copenhagen after this, and Mary and I went to see the boat that exists. Well, the one they were looking at exists. We took photos and selfies, and we're still in this.

Ted Danson
We're still. I'm not still in it. No, no question. I'm not still in it, but you. And me and Teddy.

Conan O'Brien
So Flea is just a passing fancy. It's Copenhagen. I was so excited. It was gonna be, like, the third thing in my bio after I worked on the Simpsons. It's gonna be, co owns a houseboat with Woody Harrelson.

And I didn't care. If I took a total bath. I didn't care. I'd take everything I have and put it into that just to be able to say and maybe have one experience where you and I are hanging out in the houseboat with our wives, and it's not going well, and I just write it all down. I was dying to do that and then flee.

Flee? That passing fancy. This is happening.

Now. You, as a friend of what? You should tell me. Would that be a terrible mistake? Okay, bad idea.

Woody Harrelson
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's a true story. Oh, my God. I was all excited.

Conan O'Brien
This man broke my heart, by the way. I didn't know he'd come to you or flee, for that matter. I just thought he'd come to Mary and myself. And here's the thing. Once this goes out, once this podcast goes out, people are going to be left and right all over Hollywood, and probably in parts of the world where people aren't even in show business, are going to say, no, no, he came to me.

That man that come to me and say, house, he was on the cheers at the woody. Why? Why are you doing this? What perverse, sick pleasure do you get out of this? I know, I know it sounds a little twisted when you put it like that.

Woody Harrelson
I don't remember. I don't remember that whole flea thing. That was, as I said, passing fancy. But you, me, Teddy, we're gonna have a houseboat, shares. Yeah.

Adjust your sights to Copenhagen. I would check with your wife. I would check with your wife. Guess what? Nothing.

Ted Danson
Check with your wife. Oh, right. No, no, you're right. I'll tell you how many times I'd be, like, in that situation. Oh, believe me, I wear the pants in this relationship.

Conan O'Brien
Do you guys enjoy doing the podcast together? Yes. I'll speak for us. I haven't seen them for a while. But, yes, you're not in all of them.

I'm gonna be clear about that. You're there on some, and then in some, your hot air balloon crashes and you can't get to the studio. So you're there for some. But you guys have a great chemistry. It's REALLY fun.

Ted Danson
Yeah. And Woody's friends with the world and the people that have come in because of Woody has been this really a treat for me. I got to meet so many new folks, and we get to reminisce and we laugh and I love you. I love you. I'm getting teary.

Woody Harrelson
Love you, BROTHER. YeaH. BASTARD. Amsterdam. There's always the I love you followed by bastard.

It's such a fine line between love and hate, isn't it? It can be both. They can coexist. Well, anyway, I love doing it. I love Our podcast.

Conan O'Brien
It's not one of those show watch podcasts where you watch episodes and talk about it. I'm sure people would like that. But I actually think this is more fascinating to hear, you guys. You're Just GReat at shooting the shit and talking to people. There's some reminiscing, but it's verY, very, you know, here and there.

Ted Danson
I think the conceit was, hey, let's HanG out together. We miss EACH other, let's catch up with EACH other, and I'll share my friends and he'll share, you know, we'll share friends with each other. And that was kind of the conceit of getting together, because the truth is, it's to hang out with each other. Right? Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
If you can turn a friendship into. Moneymaker. We'Re going to go that way. Sorry. No, no, no.

We're going to keep that in because essentially, what it is, how can I monetize this friendship? I do think, though, the big. I mean, there's not a day that goes by where I don't realize that most of the things I've done in my career, whether it was a late night show or any of the shows I've written on or the podcast or the travel shows, I'd be doing that anyway. You'd be doing what? I'd be doing that job.

Woody Harrelson
Monetizing. I would not be monetizing it. In fact, I want to make it clear I always refuse to take any payment for any of my work in comedy. Any. Amazing how.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah. Oh, in comedy. But that works out though, right?

Direct hit. Oh, my God. The SS Conan sinking beneath the waves steam and hot oil pouring from the portholes. New patron saint. I wouldn't have lasted 3 seconds on Cheers.

Woody Harrelson
It was a tough group, though. Boy, we used to, towards the end, when guest stars would come, at first we were all over them. We'd give them mugs and we'd take them to lunch and we'd do all this stuff. Towards the end, it was like, I hope you can swim, basically, is what we would say to them. We'd have our straws.

Ted Danson
Oh, my God. Yeah. You guys would shoot spitballs at each other all the time? Not at each other, at a specific target. You'd open your mouth as wide as you could to give them a target, and then every once in a while, you get one in the back of your gullet.

Conan O'Brien
Did you ever do this on a line? Wait, who groaned? Who groaned? I did. Really?

Ted Danson
Spitballs. Spitballs. In the mouth. In the mouth? Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
I mean, that's the best way to. Transmit the distance across from each other like this. And you have yours, I have mine. You start, you open. Oh, I missed.

Woody Harrelson
It goes here, you know, then you go and you keep going back and forth until. Did this ever show up? Does this ever show up on camera? If you're looking at all that, I. Swear that I thought it was George Wendt.

Ted Danson
Yeah, George has spitballs in his hairline. Because one of the things, I thought. It was a skin condition. No, no. Ok, one of the things, during rehearsal, if somebody was having trouble with a hefty amount of dialogue, we'd all go, we'd all look at each other.

We'll be there for you on the night, pal. And then just pepper, then relentless. Well, then they remember, do that thing, you know, Georgie was the best at it, where you just close one eye as he's talking to you. Like the camera's over him, so you can't see it, but it's. It's the simplest thing.

Woody Harrelson
But God damn, it starts to get funny if the guy keeps, you know. Did you guys have a ritual after the taping? You know, if it foosball, booze and. Or maybe not so much booze, but definitely pop, foosball and pot. Okay, that sounds like a fun ritual.

Conan O'Brien
I was in the one show a day business. Yeah, you can't. We had a party the first night. We did one in 1993. We were all hungover the next day and realized, if this goes well, we have 30 more years of feast to do every day.

We can't have any parties. But you could Friday night. You would. No, everyone was just too tired. Yeah, everyone just wanted to get away from each other.

We never had that. You know, you'd have a Christmas party or something, but never had that, which I would think in that kind of television where you're making what, 22 a year and it's these weeks. 26, 26 something. 26, 24. Yeah, 26, 24, 22.

Ted Danson
Bounced around. But you were not just performing, you were writing. You gotta have all your brain cells firing to do that. We could show what we were doing. Yeah, exactly.

Sorry. Yeah, all brain cells firing from the masturbating bear. Can we get a good shot of what's going on with Woody here? I know, yeah, you should see. No, just a little.

Woody Harrelson
By the way, wrapped by Mister Danson. Wrapped by dancing so wrapped by Danson. R B D. Yeah, I'm looking at WW rap. Sweet socks.

Conan O'Brien
Why did they do that? Fanatically? It makes no. Anyway, drink more of your blood. You got your weed socks on and then you have your own dispensary is that the idea?

Woody Harrelson
Right down the road. I haven't seen you there yet. No, no, I'm not dressed, Woody. Well, you know, you can just come and hang out in the ganja giggle garden. Yeah, it's right here.

Conan O'Brien
I would love to be in dumois once for being in the ganja giggle garden instead of always here. He's having sushi. There he is chatting up some people and taking selfies when they don't want selfies. A little bit sick that way. The ganja giggle garden you have at.

Woody Harrelson
Your spectacular macaws and, like, it's beautiful. It's like you're in the tropics or something. It's right down Santa Monica, just east of Sweetser. Okay, I'll just. The guy who won't do commercials on the podcast, but except for.

Except for promoting the woods. Yeah. And also holy water. Now, there's a bar, too, under the same roof, but separated by. Separated by all the nonsense the government insists.

Ted Danson
Oh, but it works. It works. It works great. It's actually beautiful. You should go.

Conan O'Brien
Okay, I'm gonna go. It's the most beautiful dispensary ever, for sure. I don't go to a lot of dispensaries, and I have nothing against it. It's just that in your experience, Sony, you've noticed that it doesn't. When I've tried.

Sona Movsesian
It doesn't hit you? Doesn't hit me. It somehow doesn't fit my personality. I metabolize it very quickly and turn it just into more salt. Hate.

Ted Danson
Are you inhaling? Oh, I thought you're supposed to blow it at other people. Oh, yeah, I gotta get into it. Cause you're a gummy person. Sona.

Sona Movsesian
I do it all. Yeah. I don't discriminate. You move to gummies. You're gonna have to come.

I do. I absolutely do. And I want to. I live in Altadena, so I. It's hard for me to go further.

But, you know, if you're right here. It'S literally seven minutes. That's great. That's great. We're trying to get her to work.

Conan O'Brien
She'll be in the giggle garden. The ganja giggle garden. So, Ted, you find the gummy. The gummy relaxes you. Yeah.

Ted Danson
It's also. I'm not trying to put smoke in my lungs anymore, so the gummies work. Smart. Yeah, the gummies. The gummies work.

I take gummies to go to. Not to go to sleep, but to stay asleep. You can get the CBD with THC combo, and it really helps. Really works. And you've done that for years.

Conan O'Brien
Sony. You've always said to me you're gummy, and you got a great night's sleep. Oh, well, I love my gummies. Now, when you were breastfeeding, no gummies, right? No, no, not.

Sona Movsesian
Yeah, no. And when I was pregnant, no gummies. But as soon as I was done. What a purist. I mean.

Well, you know, that's true. I don't know. I don't want to get my babies high, do I? I don't know. They could have been.

Conan O'Brien
She had twins, and then what if they were born and they high fived each other on the way out? On the way out? I don't know. They're just immediately, they're born cool. You know, they're just like.

They're relaxed. They saunter out. There's little leather jackets waiting for them. Yeah. They slip.

No, they come out in the leather jackets, and they high five, and they saunter. Yeah. Okay. They've had a really good nine month sleep. That's true.

Woody Harrelson
Yeah. Start as you mean to continue, you know, get them. That's a really good idea. You know what I mean? You know, Woody, I sometimes wasn't sure you'd have the best advice, but I.

Sona Movsesian
Should some now to see if it'll help them sleep. Yeah, why not? 1. What's that gonna hurt? Please.

Ted Danson
Says the guy with two ice packs on his body. Yeah. To the guy who slowly seeping, basically ate at Tesla about an hour ago and is covered in bandages, saying, do as I do.

Woody Harrelson
Ironically. Not high. No. See how we're on camera with this? Tell the truth.

Ted Danson
Is it starting to ache a little bit elsewhere? No, it's starting to ache less. It was really quite aching. This hand was just feeling. Man.

Woody Harrelson
I cut it open in several places. Do you think you should go to the hospital? I mean, I know talking to me is a priority, but would you. Do you think that maybe it would be a good idea to get it checked out? I feel like doctor Danson took care of everything.

Ted Danson
Thank you, bud. Yeah. Love you. But, yeah, I will need some form of painkiller. No question.

I understand. I did decide to quit. I just came back from San Francisco the night or. No, yesterday. Those two days I had, I'm like, I'm done.

Woody Harrelson
I'm done smoking. I'm done drinking. I'm not doing any of it anymore. And then after this accident, I'm like, I'm getting back on the phone. You might have been if you hadn't quit for two days.

Ted Danson
You might not have hit the Tesla. When you think about it, maybe you. Tensed up and everything because you weren't in an altered state. Tensed up? We have terrible ideas on this podcast.

Conan O'Brien
We're telling people all kinds of shit. You wouldn't have been in that motorcycle accident if you had been sober. But the guy was great. The guy was so cool. Hi.

Sorry, I said it wrong. Well, first of all, it was his son's car, so he was feeling bad about that. Part of it wasn't even his car, but he was the coolest guy. His name's Ben, and he's, like, trying to get me. So he says, what is your number?

Woody Harrelson
So I can. And I said, well, I don't. I don't have a phone. And he's like, you don't have a phone? This sounds really my life, because you.

Conan O'Brien
Do not have cell phone. You never have. No, I have. I had it until four and a half years ago, and I got rid of it. So I was already seeming evasive to him.

Woody Harrelson
And then he's like, well, okay, what is your insurance? And I say, I don't know. Are you serious? Like, I would know what my. So that was tough.

And then he says. And then he wants my. You know, he wants to see. Okay, show me your license. Show my license.

Which. I'm texan. It's a Texas license. And he's like, don't you have an LA license? A California license?

No, I don't have. Well, luckily, anyway, we used his phone, called my wife. She came, and then she cleared everything. He recognized you immediately. Yes, he did.

Once I took the helmet off. Yes. Okay, so this guy is in his Tesla. He's taking a left turn. Kathank.

Conan O'Brien
Thunk. Thunk. Yeah. Oh, my God. He gets out, and there's a guy lying there.

He takes off his helmet. I didn't take it off immediately for a little bit. I had to get, shall we say, the mandatory lecture. Why are you passing me on the left? Why would you do that?

Woody Harrelson
I shouldn't have, but why? And anyway, then you take it off. Then we had the bike. Oh, by the way, how was your bike? You find out how nice people are.

There's so many people stopped. Are you okay? Yes, yes, please. People are like, it's a long line of cars going both directions, you know, like, slowing down, and I don't know if they're lucky, lose. But it seemed like many were trying to be helpful.

And then we try to push the bike, but the bike, somehow the brakes are just locked up on that bike, front and back wheel. So we're trying to move it, and it's pushing against the brake. So it was just to get it the few feet out of the road. It's still sticking a little bit in the road. Honestly, at a certain point, couldn't push it anymore more.

And the guys. And then I take off my helmet, and he goes, oh, I know you. He says, I can't remember your name. Of course. Woody.

And. And then we started talking, and he was actually a very nice guy. He had a really, the best joke of the day, which was, you know, after Laura came and she showed him the insurance card and everything, and I says, and you make sure you have the number. And he goes, yeah, but you're married.

Sona Movsesian
Nice.

Woody Harrelson
Didn't lord that. He's cool. I'm gonna hang out with him. I think. I know.

Conan O'Brien
I know what your opening line's gonna be. Have I got a houseboat for you. It's gonna be, oh, man, I'm gonna show up at that houseboat, and there's a guy that Ben's gonna be there. You and I are all being scuba equipment, drilling holes in my coyote. Holes in the bottom of the boat.

Woody, for God's sake, take care of yourself, all right? Because you are beloved. People love you, and just take care of yourself. Thank you, sir. All right, and go slow.

Don't pass on the left. Just be careful. Okay? Okay, sir. And I want to tell you both honor to sit here with you and talk to you both.

Hilarious. And just a great hang. I mean, really, it's a treat. And I'm looking forward to your show. I know the first one just dropped.

They're coming fast and furious now. And I wish you nothing but success, as my people say. Mazel tov. Mazel tov to both of you. Thank you.

Woody Harrelson
Mazel. Thank you. You and your people. I don't know what.

Conan O'Brien
But seriously, it's just cool to sit in a room with you guys. It's very cool. Thank you very much for. Thank you very much for doing this. And I think we should get you some real medical attention.

Hoy. Hoy. Hoy. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Woody Harrelson
I'm not. Slap in the face. Yeah. We're gonna get George Wenton here, who apparently just graduated from medical school. People know that on our show, we also interview Conan.

Ted Danson
That's right. That's right. And I think a wonderful interview. Beautiful, beautiful interview. Yeah.

Very respectful.

Conan O'Brien
It's not how I remember it. I remember going home, crying, weeping. But yes, and I'll do it anytime. Anytime, you guys on our show back in the day, when a guest fell through at the last minute, my first guest was always Al Roker. I'll be your Al Roker anytime you need.

Ted Danson
Oh, my God. Anytime someone falls through, I'll come in. Thank you. Al Roker. Yeah, can we not get Al?

Conan O'Brien
Oh, I see. Aim higher. Assholes. Assholes.

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It was awesome. I took my jeep jock jams in and got a sweet oil change. And I actually brought a book because I thought it would take a while, and they had me out in like 15 minutes. It was awesome. Well, also, you should point out you can't read.

I can't. So. But I wanted people to think I could. Yeah, but I mean, come on. Yeah.

Maybe somebody hot is there, and they're literally. What are you reading? I'm like, oh. And then, you know, now I got a deal. Yeah, I don't think.

That's not how people meet each other. Didn't have time for that. Yeah. So if you see Blade driving around in his beautifully oiled jock jams, give him the old thumbs up or throw a tangerine at him. Anyway, Valvoline.

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If you're being honest, no one really knows what you do for work, especially if you're in b two b now. Sony. You know what b two b is? I don't. Why don't you tell me?

Sona Movsesian
Cause I feel like, you know, I do. It's a boy band. But also it means a business doing business with other businesses. Okay. So, fortunately, LinkedIn has a network of professionals who get what you do.

Conan O'Brien
They get it at LinkedIn. Yeah. I talk to a lot of people every day about business, and they're like, I don't understand. And. But then I talk to LinkedIn, and they get it right away.

Sona Movsesian
Yeah. Yeah. You talk about really complicated things with b. Well, I'm a business guy, and that's why I like b two b. And you can reach the right people who matter most to your company, LinkedIn, has over.

Conan O'Brien
This is nuts. 1 billion members on its platform, including 70 million decision makers. Hmm. Since LinkedIn members are regularly updating their work history, you can precisely build a target audience by job title, industry, company, and more. Start reaching the right people for yourself.

B. Two. B business with LinkedIn ads, it gets even better because LinkedIn will give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. Just go to LinkedIn.com teamco to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com teamco.

Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be. To be.

We're gonna do something a little different right now. Matt Gorley could not be with us today. He's out buying spats, I think, which is a popular covering of a shoe from the 1930s. It takes all day. Yeah, he's going all over Pasadena to get really authentic spats.

But because Matt Gorley's not here. When life gives you lemons, they say you should try and make lemon juice. So isn't that the saying? It's lemonade. Wasn't it some sort of juice?

Juice of the lemon, I think is what you say, anyway. Yeah, it's lemonade. When life gives you lemons, you should crush the lemons. No. And the secretion then should be put into a glass.

Sona Movsesian
The secretion word is. What ruined that for you? Okay, let's move on. Yeah, no, let's keep mining this. You'll get there.

Conan O'Brien
When life gives you sour fruit, harvest that fruit. Crush it to make bitter tasting juice. Listen, because Matt Grawley isn't here, David hopping is filling in. Hello, David. Hi.

Now, David, fair to say, you are pretty much my full time assistant now that Sona has twins. Why are you saying no? I mean, he is. Well, yeah. It just feels like a dig is coming at me.

There's no dig. Okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah, yeah.

Sona Movsesian
Yes. Pretty much does everything for me. And I taught him everything. Oh, no, no. Text me sometimes when the car is in front of my house to take me to the house.

David Hopping
We never did switch that over. We never switched that over. My phone number is still associated with. So I won't hear from you for a long time, and then suddenly I get a text. Your car is waiting for you to take you to the airport.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah. And the phone number so you can get in touch with whoever is driving you. That's called assisting. Yes. And that is what I'm doing.

Okay, well, listen, thank you for that. That the. I don't know, 200 things I need in my life. That is one. And thank you.

You're welcome now, but when it comes to getting my creams, my balms, my. Ointments, actually, Sona's number is still on a lot of things. Sona follows along anytime I do something. I do various potions and powders that keep me looking pretty. Yeah.

Help my body stay healthy. My number is still associated with a lot of those. So then I'll take days. Do you ever get a call and you're like, Conan's on that? Because, you know, as I start to fall apart.

Sona Movsesian
Starts rough. Well, I'm sorry, but, you know, there's so many filters on orthopedic structures are applied to my body. Anyway, your orthopedic structure? Braces. Neither of our numbers are on for now.

Conan O'Brien
Well, I think Adam gets those. I don't know why. Anyway, I want to talk to you, David, because, as you know, I don't really go on social media much. I'm pretty ignorant of what's going on out there. I know TikTok's a big thing.

It is. I don't really go on TikTok, and I'm just curious, do I have any presence on TikTok? Am I someone who's on TikTok? Because I don't put things on TikTok. How does it work?

David Hopping
Well, first of all, you technically are on TikTok. Cause there's the coco account. Okay? So that's something. And this is, by the way, I feel.

Conan O'Brien
Not that we ever get political here, but it's when they quiz trump about his businesses, and he goes, like, I had no idea. I actually have no idea. I have no idea that. We have an amazing social team here. Incredible Blay, Ruthie, Sam.

I mean, just. They're killing it. You guys kill it. And they do an incredible job making me look cool. I don't know about these things, but they put stuff on TikTok.

David Hopping
I mean, there's a good chance that you, right now, talking about not knowing you're on TikTok is on TikTok right now. Okay. Okay. Yeah. You never know.

Conan O'Brien
Thank you, chinese government.

I hope I please my overlords. You don't like political or anything? No, I just. I wish to please shout out to the chinese government. Well, I'm sorry, you know, I know.

David Hopping
It's what I see, your presence. Am I on TikTok? You are. Okay. And what kind of ways would I be on TikTok?

Conan O'Brien
Would they just be showing clips of things? I just want to know. Yeah, clips from the podcast, clips from the TBS show. But then you also have, like, fans on there. Let me pull up 1 second.

Sona Movsesian
You should do those dances. Which dance? You should do one of those, like, synchronized dances that they do for TikTok. Right? You know how old I am, right?

I do. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I just think it's cool.

Conan O'Brien
Nope, you don't. You just want to see me make a complete ass of myself. He has a dance. Other people have emulated the string. Oh, that's a very famous dance.

I was doing those 30 years ago. You were Tiktoking before TikTok. Exactly. Maybe I invented TikTok, and maybe I invented China.

Maybe I went too far. There's probably a statue of me in Beijing. Conan the first Tiktoker. All right. What are you doing there?

Take your time with the phone, by the way. Thank you. Well, for some reason, not on the way. Wifi. So now I'm.

David Hopping
Anyway, so there's this trend where people are saying, who's a male celebrity that they would feel safe alone in a room with? And a lot of people are for some reason saying, you. Wait a minute. I don't know how to feel about that. That just means they see me as.

Conan O'Brien
What? Not a threat. Not a threat? Yeah. Well, I don't.

I want to be thought of as you. What? Well, not as a threat in a bad way, but just like, oh, I don't know. I might lose control if I was in a room with Conan O'Brien. They might lose control around you, but that.

Sona Movsesian
You would not lose control. Oh, no, I would not lose control. I'm very afraid of any sexual situation. So anyway, so what they're saying is that they. That's a good thing.

David Hopping
It's a good one. Women are saying they would feel safe around me. Yeah. Well, they should. Cause I'm completely inert.

Conan O'Brien
No, I'm not. Come on. No, I'm just kidding around. Watch your lady. Guys gonna be in a room with your lady, and their pants are gonna fall off.

Sona Movsesian
Is that what you want? No, I just think it would be nice sometimes if people say it's like that old thing where, you know a bunch of women in a room and they go, oh, Conan, you're just one of the girls. You can gab with us. That feels terrible. And then you look down and you're wearing a bikini.

Conan O'Brien
Cause it made you feel like you're true self. Wait, what's happening? You want to be like the Beatles on Ed Sullivan? You want the girls to be like, yeah. No, no, no.

I have realistic expectations. Or should I say sex spectations? I. This is why? Oh, it just came in.

David Hopping
No one feels safe anymore. Just change. Well, ladies, I'm glad you feel safe around me because I don't know. I don't know that that's a. You know, but, like, if Brad Pitt got on the elevator, it would be a charged environment, right.

Yeah. You know, or Austin Butler. The environment would change. What they're saying is if I got on an elevator and Conan O'Brien was on it, there'd be no change in the atmosphere. Who said elevator?

They just said a room. Yeah. You just put yourself on the elevator. You're creating scenarios in your mind. Yeah, I think that's a common one.

Conan O'Brien
You're on an elevator, okay. Someone else gets on. You want to make sure they feel safe. You're fantasizing about being in an elevator with Brad Pitt. Cause you want to.

Or Brad Paisley. Any Brad. Or Brad Garrett. It just has to be a Brad. I love what you're saying is, like, you're like sexual insulation.

Yes. Yeah. I'm a foam that blocks out and neutralizes any sexual energy. Yeah. Yeah.

I am a foam. Well, what else is going on in TikTok? Okay, well, there's, like, fan accounts. There's this one that pops up a lot. It's called just bits and pieces.

David Hopping
And they do. They do a lot of, like, compilations of, like, u two and not the band Sona nine. Yeah. Yeah. And not the band, like, they did this one.

That's kind of like a thirst trap of Conan. What? What's a thirst trap? You'll see in a sec. Oh, wow, look at that clip of me from a long time ago.

Sona Movsesian
Oh, this is like they're looking at you in a sexual way. Yeah. There you go. Even I'm around. Check you out.

Conan O'Brien
I have a beard, and I'm drinking wine. Hey. At bits and pieces. God. Hey, bits and pieces.

You got the right idea about Conan O'Brien. That's a guy. I want that guy out there. And from bits and pieces on tv. Where do you think he got that?

Sona Movsesian
She got those clips from? They're out there. Yeah, I know, but that could change. My profile a little bit, from being sexual insulating foam to a guy who's a real man's man. I feel like you need to come up with some kind of TikTok trend for people to do.

Conan O'Brien
That's probably a good idea. Do you have any ideas? Cause this is not something I'd be good at. Sona, do you have a good idea for a TikTok trend? I mean, aren't the trends a lot dances or, like, sound bites.

Sona Movsesian
Sound. Like sound bites that people talk over and do things with. I have no idea. I turned to you, Sona, and you don't know what you're talking about. No, I don't.

David Hopping
What about you? There's a lot of challenges out there. Like, oh, hey, remember there's that big thing, the cinnamon challenge, where you took a spoonful of cinnamon? The cinnamon. There's a lot of challenges.

Conan O'Brien
So you could do a challenge, something maybe that you're good at, that you're challenging other people. How about my challenge? You get 9 hours of sleep, and then it's just footage of me sleeping for 9 hours, but, like, really cool music is playing in the background. I think that the max you can do is, like, a ten minute video. Yeah.

But little clips of me at different parts of the night. Just getting a good sound. 9 hours of sleep. Well rested challenge. That's my challenge.

The Conan O'Brien well rested challenge. Yes. That's what we're gonna do. Everyone wants. Yeah.

Love you. Watch out for that, ladies. A before and after. So, like, you know, you're like, okay, I'm Aaron blurt. I'm gonna take the well rested challenge.

Then I take. And then I show clips of me sleeping, and then how do I look after? Am I well rested? You're glowing. No, you just look well rested.

And you say, that was very satisfying. And that's it? Yeah. Can you sleep for 9 hours? Not really.

I used to be able to, but not anymore. You can't do your own. I know. I wake up a lot in the night and think, why? Why?

Why? Because all the clip is, you're starting a challenge. You can't do yourself. I'm not gonna be able to do it myself? No.

David Hopping
Okay. That's why I like this challenge. All right, David, thanks for stopping by. Of course. I think you helped.

Conan O'Brien
And, Sona, thank you for always letting me know when a car is going to take me to the airport. Good job. Conan O'Brien needs a friend. With Conan O'Brien, Sona Mufsecian, and Matt Gorley. Produced by me, Matt Gorley.

Matt Gorley
Executive produced by Adam Sachs, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes. Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista, and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on on a future episode.

Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It too, could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

Conan O'Brien
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