Taylor Tomlinson Returns

Conan O'Brien
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Taylor Tomlinson
Hi, my name is Taylor Tomlinson, and I feel thrilled about being Conan O'Brien. That's really sweet. Yeah, it's very nice.

Conan O'Brien
Folly's here. Hear the yell back to school ring the bell bend the shoes walk and loose climb the fence books and pens. I can tell that we are gonna. Be friends yes, I can tell that. We are gonna be friends.

Hey there, and welcome to Conan O'Brien. Needs a friend and got my two chums with me right here. Hi. Oh, sorry. Let me put my glasses on.

Oh, Matt, you're here, too? Gosh, no. Matt Gorley. Of course. Here.

And Sonam obsession. Yeah. How are you? I'm doing great. How are you?

I'm doing great. Are you? I am okay. A lot of people are asking me, how do I feel? Are you okay?

I am fine. You ate a lot of spicy food on hot ones. Yes, I went on the show. Hot ones. Yeah.

And I did not. I was aware of the show. Obviously. It's a very successful show. I hadn't really can't say I was an expert on the show.

I went in thinking, well, whatever happens, I just have to eat all the wings and just go for it and make a fool of myself. And so I kind of had that plan in mind, but didn't know much beyond that. The host. Very good. Excellent.

I like that guy a lot. He's a very good interviewer. He is. And they do a really good job on that show. So Sean's asking me questions, and I was just determined to just keep stuffing these wings in no matter what.

And then, of course, me being me, I start drinking the sauce and rubbing it around on my face and my chest and everything. And so when I walk around now, because a lot of people have seen this, people keep asking me if I'm okay, I wonder the same thing. Well, I also just watched Conan must go, which is fantastic, by the way. In Thailand, you get pretty floored, albeit comedically, by some sauce. So I thought, you're gonna go down when I see hot ones.

Yeah. No. Well, we played that up for comedy, and then you're allowed to. In a sketch world or comedy world, you can fake things a little bit. I'm aware of it, yes.

Is that how comedy works? Really? When I look at you two, I think an explanation might be in order. So what's the deal? Do you not have taste buds or something?

How did you do that? I have never seen you eat spicy food. I don't eat spicy. That's I hear, you know, there's people who, like, put Tabasco or tapatio on stuff. I've had so many meals with you, and I've never seen you eat spicy food.

I have a theory. It's that the only thing worse than that amount of thermal spice would be you not somehow getting the attention that eating all of that would give you. Yes. And all joking aside. And also, I've had a bunch of people posit that I have the red haired gene.

You know, when I go to the dentist and they give me Novocaine, they then go to drill, and it's like, I haven't had Novocaine. And I'm always saying, I feel everything right now. And they always say, oh, yeah, you're a redhead. I don't know if that's. But I've had many dentists say that to me, and they keep.

They give me a lot more. And they say, the redheads have whatever, higher pain threshold or something. I don't know what it is. Meaning you feel less pain. You feel more pain.

Well, you don't feel. I don't know exactly how it works, and I'm just freewheeling here. I just know what I've been told by people. I don't think it's it. I think you have it, Matt, which is.

I've always been. If I think something will be funny, I'll do it and deal with it later. And did you? Yeah, I did deal with it later. It was dealt with later.

How did it manifest itself? I spot welded an iron. I spot welded. I'm not thinking the same thing. I spot welded.

Taylor Tomlinson
I wanted it to be used. How much did you shit. How much did your butt hurt? Here's what I decided to do. And do you have butt taste buds?

Conan O'Brien
Here's what I decided to do. I decided that I wanted. After I ingested all that, I wanted it to be useful. So I found a construction site where they were doing spot welding. And I went there and I said, gentlemen, if you want, I can weld these girders for you in about, I'm guessing about 15 minutes.

You'll need to avert your eyes. Cause I'll be dropping my pants. And they said, okay. And I said, I will need someone to stay behind and light it, and then we'll be all set to go. So there's a building in the mid Wilshire district that's going up, and I think I did about 65 rivets in the building.

And people were driving by saying, conan O'Brien, his pants are around his ankles, and I think fire is shooting out of his ass, and he's welding a building. And here's the biggest problem. I had to join the union, but that way, everybody wins. There's a building, and trust me, that section of the building will never fall. That's the best.

And they've had an engineer say, whoever did this, these are heat temperatures we've never seen. So every time you're going to weld something, you just have to eat a lot of hot wings. Yes. I'm in the union now, and all I have to do is I've got all the sauces from hot ones. You are the shottest X Man ever.

Yeah. Meet the X Men. Really? He's on the X Men. What do we do with him?

His name's Aswell. And I just. And you know what it is? I have a bandolier, and instead of ammunition, it's just sauces. And they're like, what are we gonna do?

How are we gonna get out of this thing? The bad guys have sealed us in this lead safe. Hold on a second.

Taylor Tomlinson
Pull your pants down. You have to pull your pants down. Does your uniform have a compartment? Oh, yeah, the uniform has. Well, it's actually.

Conan O'Brien
It's a very tiny flap. That's the exact circumference of an anus. It's a tiny circle that unflaps, and then just a beam of the whitest light you've ever seen comes out. A phosphorus. A phosphorus, yeah.

And. And everyone has to put on welding gauntlets. Oh, God. But, no, I did. Well, if you've known, like, there are many times where I've done, I would do sketches, and they would.

If I think it's funny to get thrown out of a window, yes. Even at my age, I will say, no, no, no, I want to do it. Jeff ross always goes, oh, come on, come on. Don't let's go down. I'm like, no, no, I want to do it.

You're the tom cruise of comedy, where he does action that way. You will do comedy that way. Yeah, but he does it well. He does cool things, but he does cool things. But I love to still, because, I don't know, I was in a lot of brothers, and I like to be tossed around.

I like to smash through things. I'm very happy to do it, and then if I feel something give, I'll just keep doing it. If I think people are laughing, and we used to have years on the show, it would always come out in animal segments, because people would come and they would bring, I don't love. I get creeped out around snakes, and I get creeped out around insects and spiders. They would bring them, and I would say, oh, no, no, just put it on my forehead, and I would do it because audiences really liked it.

And I knew, oh, in a single, this is funny. But in real life, if there's no one there to laugh at it, I would be horrified and never do it. So what was the immediate. The immediate response to the being on was, I think my eyes were incredibly runny, and my mouth really hurt. The thing that was the most interesting is that my wedding ring, some sauce, because I was rubbing my hands around in the sauce.

You rubbed it on your nipples, and some got. Cause you washed your hands right afterwards. But some of the sauce got underneath my wedding ring. David hopping was driving me home, and he was like, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine.

But I noticed that my wedding ring was burning. Oh, sorry. Well, it hasn't burned like that since they put it on me at the altar. Take that, Liza. It was burning and burning, and then I took it off, and I saw, like, oh, right, there's acid underneath it.

But the craziest thing about that is that the hot ones generated all these nice things that people were saying online in retrospective about, oh, I really like the thing Conan did in 98. I like the thing he did in 2004, which is all very sweet, but I had a bunch of friends who saw my name all over Twitter, and the first assumption is he's dead. So I did have people say, oh, my God. I thought, finally, we can all talk now. Liza immediately got into another relationship.

Taylor Tomlinson
Immediately. Immediately. She has a guy on deck for sure. Oh, yeah, sorry. Can I also say, jose was so funny as the doctor, he really made me laugh a little bit.

Conan O'Brien
So this is the story of that. Jose Arroyo is extremely talented comedy writer, and Jose has been a writer for me for years, and he's worked on travel shows and the show, and he's just, he's brilliant. Jose is brilliant. And I love him to death. Jose, whenever we did a sketch where someone had to be in a white coat and be an authority figure, like a scientist or a doctor, Jose would play that.

And so I, the day before, or maybe two days before hot ones, I thought, I don't think anyone's done this, but I want to show up with my physician, doctor Arroyo. So I call Jose, and I said, jose, I'm going to go on this show, hot ones. He's like, yeah, I know, hot ones. And I said, and I love Jose because he just knows. Exactly.

I went, and so I want to bring you on. And he's like, yeah, yeah, you're doctor. Uh huh. And I said, and I said, we're not even doing a show. Jose's not working for me technically right now.

I said, do you have a lab coat? And he went, yeah, I have a medical coat. Yeah, he's not a doctor. And he's like, and he's got a stethoscope because he knows. And if anyone wants to see him, one of the reasons I really wanted him to do that was because Jose, we shot a segment, we did a travel show in Australia, and we're on Bandai beach, and there's that iconic shot.

There's that famous lifeguard show that's from Bondi beach. And so I wanted to train to be a lifeguard there. So we got an iconic shot of me running on the beach in slow motion. And then you widen out, and I'm running with my dermatologist in slow motion who's running alongside me. And it was Jose in full doctor Arroyo regalia.

So if you want to see a very funny clip, look up. This must be out there somewhere. Yeah, it's definitely out there. The funniest line he had on the hot ones was so many. You go like, what did you study?

And he goes, in the nineties. In the nineties? Yeah. Where did you, where'd you go to school? Yeah.

Where'd you go to school? In the nineties? Yeah. In 1998. When you check your pulse and he just chokes you.

Yeah. And he says, it's no, he is. He is so funny and eternal thanks to Jose Arroyo. And also just another. He is brilliant across the board.

He's a great writer, but he's also a really funny cartoonist. He's had cartoons in the New Yorkers, a couple of, I think one time I gave him an idea for a cartoon and he drew it up and submitted it under both our initials and it got in. And I was like, I was delighted. Jose is a force. I just wanted to quickly ask, was there a moment at which you were like, this is a bad idea, while you were doing it?

No, I got through a bunch of the wings and I thought, I can do this. And even if I can't do it, I'm going to do it. Does that make sense? Yeah, you're in the zone because early on, I'm taunting Sean. Oh, baby things.

And so once you do that, there's only one way you can go. You can't stop after the fourth wing and then start talking about, you know, I'm really excited about my new project. Did I have to smash everything? Probably not. Did I have to rant and have milk come out my mouth?

Not sure. Yeah, but those are things that you do so that your children never look you in the eye again. Anyway, we should get into the show because we have a wonderful show. My guest today is a hilarious comedian. So funny.

She does not have to resort to such bullshittery. She hosts after midnight weeknights on CB's. Her latest special, have it all, is now streaming on Netflix. I am thrilled she's here today. Taylor Tomlinson, welcome.

I have a very clear memory of the first time I met you, which is you showed up on the tour. I don't remember which city it was, but they said, taylor's here and she's not well. Mm hmm. You were really sick with some bug. And I went back and you were about as sick as anyone I've ever seen.

Taylor Tomlinson
Right. You were quite ill. And I was like, oh, my God, this poor woman. Physically and mentally. Physically and mentally.

But we mean physically in this case. And they said you were fine before I walked in. And then, no, but you were really sick. And then I said, are you okay to do it? And you went, yep, I'm fine.

Conan O'Brien
And then you went out and killed it. You were very. I mean, you're still really young, especially. Yeah, you are. What are you talking about?

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm 30. I feel like it's over. Okay, 30 is not, like, young anymore, is it? To me, it is. You're an embryo.

Conan O'Brien
You are. You were a frozen egg, as far as I'm concerned. I just have to keep clearing milestones in order for people to think I'm young. They're like. You're young for, like, a late night host.

Yeah. Okay, that's. There you go. I watched your first episode this morning on YouTube. Oh, that's right.

Taylor Tomlinson
Cause you were 30, right? I had just turned 30. Yeah, same. And you had the little calendar, and it was September 1993, so six weeks before I was born. Oh, that's so crazy.

Isn't that crazy? Well, see, I think that puts into context just how young you are. That my career, my show started six months before you were born. But I remembered you having. I was really impressed with.

Conan O'Brien
Obviously, you had just amazing material, but you would march out there, and you were, at the time, 2021 a long time ago. I was 24, I think. Okay, 24. I had done your show. No, you had done my show, but you marched out, killed it, walked off stage, was really sick, and I was very impressed.

I said this to you in the hall, and I said to myself, say that again on Mike. But I want to congratulate you for, like, 15 things, because you've just did your third Netflix special. You have a late night show. People have found you. You made this whole thing happen.

I'm so happy for you. I want to start on that nice note, and then we'll devolve into petty grievances. That's so nice. That's really lovely. But also, you're terrific.

You're absolutely fantastic. And I was just. I don't know. I'm just. Everything that's been happening for you, I just am watching now from the sidelines and just saying, oh, my God.

Yes. Go, Taylor, go. This totally deserved. This is the. Right.

All the best things are happening to someone good, and that doesn't always happen. Oh, that's really nice. We're gonna cut all this out, right? I'm deeply uncomfortable. No, we're not recording compliments.

Taylor Tomlinson
Oh, terrific. Okay. I don't even mean any of this. I'm practicing for someone I really like. We have real stars coming on later this week.

Sort of a warm up app for me.

Conan O'Brien
This is for one of the Wayans brothers. You know, I've just got this whole thing memorized. I don't even know which one. It kind of can go with any Wayans. When you were doing your show, did you ever have episodes where you're like, oh, thank God.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm not nervous to talk to this person at all. Like, however this goes, it's fine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's funny. Cause I can talk shop with you, which I love.

Conan O'Brien
I mean, there's so many things to talk about. I loved the special that you just did for Netflix and thought there were so many great jokes. You had this thing that you said at one point, my brother is trans, my sister is gay, and I identify as afraid. And I thought, oh, you really watched it? Yeah, no, I was.

Taylor Tomlinson
You know, you started. You're like, it was great. It was so you. And I'm like, me? Might not watch that.

Conan O'Brien
Well, no, I really identified with. You. Tell a story in your special. I'm weary sometimes to not give away stuff, but you tell a story that's really funny about Hugh Jackman. And I was watching it, and I was really laughing because you're talking about how he's like a surreal, ethereal creature, you know, not of this earth.

And I have my own Hugh Jackman story, which is not part of a Netflix special. I've pitched it many times. You'll get there. No, he'll get there. Don't worry.

They said, I think the quote is, no appetite for Conan on the algorithm. But, I mean, I've already given it away. But I was in a gym. I was in Atlanta on some job and in a hotel, and I found out they had a gym, and I'm like, I'm gonna go. You know, I'm trying to take care of myself lately.

I'm gonna hit the gym. And I'm always inordinately proud of myself when I can hit the gym, when I'm on the road or something. So I hit the gym, and there's this machine where it sort of helps lift you up, but you're kind of using your body weight, but not all your body weight. You know that one? And you're kind of going up and down, and you're working your lats, and I'm like, I'm doing a really.

And then in my peripheral vision, became aware that someone was doing what I was doing, but twice as fast and without the assistance of the little hydraulic thing, like. And I look over, and I swear to God, it's Hugh Jackman. He's lifting his own body weight, and he's got this perfect v shaped torso. And he is the handsomest man you'll ever see. And he turns to me and he recognizes me.

Cause he'd been on the show a couple of times. He's just like, hey, how are you, Conan? Good to see you. But didn't even break his stride. And I had a little hydraulic thing.

Taylor Tomlinson
Going, like, I'll help you.

Conan O'Brien
I just looked at his body and looked at mine. I think I called it quits. I think I tried to see if they would open the bar at ten in the morning. But, I mean, there's so many things in your special that I could relate to. And the thing that I love so much about your comedy is that you are so brutally honest, but it's always to a purpose.

Taylor Tomlinson
That's so nice. Oh, my gosh. Again, this will all come out. This was for Damon. Yeah, we'll get rid of it.

Conan O'Brien
That's for Damon Wayans. That's so nice. That's really, really nice. But, yeah, there's so much we can. I know.

Taylor Tomlinson
It's, like, hard to know where to start. I mean, I also have a lot of questions. Well, I would love you to ask questions because those are some of my favorite interviews. Because it's about me. Right.

Conan O'Brien
And how do I feel about Conan? I love him. He's great. No, you don't. That's true.

I have a lot of misgivings about Conan. But you are. You are a lovely name drop for me when people are like, yeah, I love Conan. I'm like. And then I just put on sunglasses and start swirling wine, and I'm like, he's exactly.

Taylor Tomlinson
He's exactly what you want him to be. He's just a great guy. And you know Conan. I'm like, yeah, we went on tour. We went on tour together.

Conan O'Brien
We went on tour together. We had some really good times. We did some times on a bus. You. I don't know, it just felt to me like you arrived fully formed, completely.

Like you had it all. It's not like, well, I saw you when. That banana is still kind of green. It needs a little more time. Like, no, no, no.

You were just ready to go. That's so nice. And what a great transition. Have it all streaming on Netflix. Had it all.

Taylor Tomlinson
Have it all. We'll probably lose it all.

Yeah. That's really, really nice. Yeah. I mean, obviously getting this late night gig, which is so different than your show, because it's like a fake game show, and it's. You know, like a re imagining of at midnight.

And there were a lot of people because we did so much press after it was announced, before we were actually doing the show. And so I did all these interviews where people, like, weren't totally sure what it was. Or, like, a lot of people online when it came out were like, we thought this was a talk show, and CB's screwed Taylor Tomlinson. And I'm like, we were never doing a talk show. Everybody, like, I tour on the weekends, like, I'm not gonna do a show Monday through Friday night.

But it's funny. Cause people keep saying, oh, it's your show. And I'm like, it's really not. This is, if anything, our show. It's such a great team of people.

And it's why I wanted to do the show, because I wanted to have these coworkers. It was like, I'm like, I wanna have fun with all these people and make a new thing every day. But they were asking me questions. So when you designed the set, I'm like, I designed the set. When you're booking the show, I'm like, I'm booking the show.

They're like, well, when you hired the writer, I'm like, I didn't hire the writers. And I want them to like me so bad. I'm like, I can't take credit for anything about this show. I don't dress myself. Like, I show up.

Someone does my hair and makeup, they put me in clothes. I'm like an american girl doll. But they just kind of cart around. Like, I really. I'm like, everyone on that show, I think, probably has a harder job than I do.

And also, like, I don't know if you felt this way. I mean, you were using cue cards, right? Yep. Okay. We have a teleprompter.

It's like a little computer, and they tie it. It's like a cue card, but it's so. It's like a machine. Like a machine. You know?

Conan O'Brien
I never had a teleprompter ever. Never? No. Because we changed things too much at the last second. And so we always did cards, and so I just.

Taylor Tomlinson
We changed things in the teleprompter. It's easier to just type it in, right? Yeah, just. They lied to me. They said, well, that that'll can't happen on a prompter.

Conan O'Brien
I think it was. They just didn't want to buy one. It was NBC and then Turner. They just didn't want to buy a prompter. Yeah.

Taylor Tomlinson
Cause I still have my Conan cue card. Cause they give it to you when you do a late night show, which was very nice. We want it back, by the way. Those things aren't cheap. Well, now I know how hard it was.

They're like, we gotta cut a whole new one. Cause you don't like that line every. Time we wrote a new joke. A tree fell in the forest somewhere. But when I started doing.

When I did the screen test and everything, and even when I started doing the show, everyone's so impressed when you can read a teleprompter to a point where I was like, do people think I'm dumb? Like, I know I didn't finish college, but, like, you wouldn't finish Harvard, you know what I mean? Right? And I studied telepromptering. Yeah.

But everyone was just like, it's really hard. Some people don't know how to read teleprompters. And I was like, okay, like, I'll take any credit you'll give me. But this was, again, I was, like, so nervous about it, I was practicing reading teleprompters on TikTok. Local news anchors will do, like, now for a teleprompter challenge.

And so I was just reading, like, five car pile up on today's freeway. Like, but in a funny way, I'm like, pretend like it's the show. And they're like, let's see how fast you can read it. There's all these little things, and then there's the big thing. The thing that no one's thinking about is the advice you get.

Conan O'Brien
This is the biggest name drop of all time for my generation, anyway. But just before I started, I got to meet Johnny Carson, and he knew that I was going to be taking over the late night show, and he said, just be yourself. And I was like, okay. Then I did the show for a couple of months, and no one liked it. And I always pictured that Johnny Carson would call me and say, I didn't know that that was you.

Taylor Tomlinson
Have you tried being me? Could you maybe find someone else to be? Yeah, be me. But I always realize that it's more complicated than just be yourself, because it's just be yourself in the most artificial environment in the world, which is three, two, one, and Taylor, go. And it just took me a long time to realize, oh, this is the skill is I need to figure out, how can I just be this person that I am?

Conan O'Brien
I didn't want to be a fake person. I wanted to be a real person, but in a freakish environment. Yeah, yeah, no, I definitely. I mean, I say to the live audience we have in studio sometimes. Cause I'll be like playing off the comedians we have on the show.

Taylor Tomlinson
And then I have to go to the next game, which is me reading the teleprompter. And so we're like, oh, yeah, it's great. And then I go, all right, I have to go back into teleprompter again. And I know it's gonna feel jarring to just be like. And, yeah, totally.

And we know each other in today's Internet news and it just feels. But you're like, okay, just everyone I know too. And it's gonna cut together great.

Conan O'Brien
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Taylor Tomlinson
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Conan O'Brien
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That's all I think about. I'm a real whiz. But with higher expenses on materials, employees, distribution, and borrowing, everything costs more. It just does. Yeah, what's that words.

Yeah, exactly. That helped. So, to reduce costs and headaches, smart businesses are graduating. To Netsuite by Oracle. You knew where I was going with this, right?

Taylor Tomlinson
Yeah, I do. Please tell us what Netsuite is. I shall. Netsuite's the number one cloud financial system. It brings accounting, financial management, inventory and hr into one, count them, one platform and one source of truth.

Yeah. By bringing all your major business processes into one platform, you will not only improve efficiency, you'll also cut costs. Yep. Netsuite lives in the cloud with no hardware required, accessible from anywhere. That's why they call it the cloud.

Conan O'Brien
Over 37,000 companies have already made the move. If you're not doing it, you should, too. Hey, so do the math. That sounds aggressive. See how you'll profit with Netsuite.

Backed by popular demand, Netsuite has extended its one of a kind, flexible financing program for a few more weeks. Wow. Head to netsuite.com conan. Netsuite.com conan. One more time, if you weren't listening, netsuite.com Conan.

Taylor Tomlinson
Honestly, the best thing Colbert said to me is before, I think the week before we. Stephen Colbert. This is Stephen Colbert. Okay. Because I know I can't call him Stephen.

Conan O'Brien
No, no. I just disrespectful. I only say that because I don't feel people know him. And the word's not out, but it's Stephen Colbert, and he has the show that's on before Taylor, and it's fine. Anyway, go ahead and shout out to Steven.

I know he's a huge. He likes to just sit, I think, in a parking lot in his hometown and just listen to this podcast over and over again. I heard it was a hot tub. It's a hot tub. Yeah, he has a hot tub in his car in a parking lot.

Anyway, it's all very sad. But anyway, what did Stephen Colbert tell you? Stephen Colbert, we were at dinner the week before the show came around, and he gave me a lot of great advice, and he has the entire time. But one thing he said that was really helpful is he goes, you don't have to be as good as you think you have to be, like, right away, he's like, as a host of a late night show, people are just happy to see you. People just want to hang out with you at night.

Taylor Tomlinson
You don't have to be hilarious every second. And I was like, oh, okay, great. Then I won't even try. It's awesome. I think that philosophy has really hurt Stephen.

Conan O'Brien
I just want to say, because every time I see his show, I think he's not even trying, and this needs to be better. And I've told him we're friends. I tell him this all the time, but he's always saying, no, I don't have to try. It's okay. People are just happy to see me.

I'm like, no, raise the bar, man. Well, that's the other thing, too, is, for example, he was like, so you should go out before the show and talk to the audience and build some rapport and ask if anyone has any questions. And I did that for the first couple weeks, and I haven't said this to him, but I probably should. I've told other people, I don't know if Steven realizes he's much more famous than I am. So people have questions for Stephen right before his show.

Taylor Tomlinson
They're like, oh, thank God. He's gonna talk to us. And when I'm like, does anyone have any questions? They're like, we know where the bathroom is.

We're good. Like, can you just get on with it? You know what? You now made me really want to go and sit at the audience of Steven's show and put my hand up and ask where the bathroom is. I really wanna do that.

Cause people in his audience come with questions for him specifically. And I go up and I'm like, anybody have anything? They're like, not really. And I was like, great. I was also gonna ask.

Cause you didn't go into dressing rooms before the show, right? I did. Oh, you did? Okay. Never came into mind.

Did the show twice, never said hi, but that's okay. I was a stand up. No, I will tell you why. When it was women, I was told sometimes that my appearances were abrupt and it almost looked like I was trying to catch them. So I got a talking too.

Conan O'Brien
Remember, Sona? You talked to me. You were the one. Yeah, I was. I was like, stop just barging in there.

With the men, you knock, and then you come in, and with the women, you kick the door open and go, what's going on? No, I wouldn't do it all the time, but I would sometimes I thought if there was a guest, especially if there was a guest, that I wasn't sure what the chemistry was going to be. I wanted to go in first and get a reading of, like, what is our? And you can tell, like, you can go in. And if I had a difficult time, I remember going in and I can say Lance Armstrong, years before his, you know, scandal, he was on the show, and he was like, the biggest, you know, thing in, in cycling and one of the biggest figures in sports.

And I was excited to have him on. I didn't know anything about him personally. And I went in to talk to him and he was very, just kind of felt like he had a chip on his shoulder and I couldn't connect. And I can. I can connect with a burnt out light bulb if I have to.

Like, I can really connect if I. And I couldn't figure it out. Lance, I have chemistry with everyone. Yeah, I know this is not on. Me, but I just, I said, yeah, your chemistry seems altered.

But no, I left the room and, you know, my producer was eating a bowl of soup and went, what's going on? And I said, jeff, I don't know. I don't know about it with Lance Armstrong. And he was like, oh, I'm sure it'll be good. Slurp, slurp.

And so then we had the interview, and I felt the same thing. It's not, anyone would look at it now and go like, oh, it's fine. But I couldn't figure it out. And I like to go in sometimes. Sometimes there were people who were really nervous, really nervous.

And sometimes surprising because extremely famous actors. I'm a huge, I love Joaquin Phoenix. I love him. I think he's a terrific actor. And I think he was, what a lot of people forget is that these people have a different skill, which is, he's an amazing actor, but at that stage, anyway, he would come on the show, and it was.

He didn't do a lot of talk shows. And I remember he was really nervous. Oh, wow. So I would go in and just talk to him, and he would say, this is crazy. I can't do this.

And I thought, what are you talking about? You're an iconic young actor. They're gonna be so happy to see you. But it was not his process to go out and just shoot the shit with someone. So sometimes I would go in and just let them know.

First of all, the stakes are really low. It's just you and me. I like to take care of people, and we're gonna have a good time, and that would help if we had a relationship prior to them coming out. Yeah. I'm horrified to find out you did go into everyone's dressing rooms except for mine.

Not yours again, it was an HR. It was an HR issue. Yeah. I only did it twice. It's fine.

But third time is when I go in. Tom Hanks came on many times. First two times, I wouldn't go in. It was always, you gotta be. It's gotta be third time.

Taylor Tomlinson
But, like, Kelly Clarkson doesn't go in or doesn't go into mine. You know, now I don't. Can I just say, not to bum you up, but Kelly Clarkson walks in here all the time. Walks in to check in on us. She stops by my house sometimes.

Conan O'Brien
No, no, I know. She's incredible. She inflated the tires on my mountain bike. But both times I did. I did her show twice, and both times she just makes you feel so comfortable immediately on stage.

Taylor Tomlinson
So you're like, oh, yeah, it's fine. In the same way you did. But, yeah, I think everyone just has their own process. And so it's been interesting, like, in the first month that we're doing it, trying to find how it works best for you. Everyone's got their own way.

Conan O'Brien
Some people I know, Letterman never went in and talked to anybody, and I think he just wanted to keep it all fresh. But it's all what serves you as you go through it, you're gonna realize, I like this. This makes me comfortable. This I'm less comfortable with. And you can't judge it.

You just have to make sure that that's what happens. Yeah. So if something works for you and serves you do that. Yeah. Well, it's also just interesting trying to conserve your energy in the right way and figuring out when you need to eat.

Taylor Tomlinson
And when you need to be quiet. When you do a show, what happens eventually? My wife used to say to me, you realize your job is the organizing principle of our family. Everything where we live in the world, in the United States, but also to this greater degree. If I know my show is going on at 530, I would know when I had to eat lunch, I would know I couldn't eat after a certain point because I didn't want to be digesting food while I'm trying to talk to another one of the Waynes brothers, Keaton, Ivory Wayans.

You want to be burping at Joaquin Phoenix? You're going to be great. Yeah. Sorry. Massive bologna sandwich.

Conan O'Brien
And then I would be. So if it was a good show, my heart would be going, like, 180 beats a minute for the next couple of hours. And I would come home and, you know, my wife, who has these two little kids, would be like, we can't. You're, like, irradiated. Yeah.

You just walked out of Chernobyl, and you want to give everyone a hug. You need to just go into a different area. And, I mean, you've seen me when I'm in this state. Oh, yeah. It's all the time.

Taylor Tomlinson
After you do something, I do something. It's always like. It's like you're amped up, and you're. I'm amped up, and so I'm talking a mile a minute, and I've got all this energy, and my wife's trying to put the kids to bed, and I'm like, hey, kids, what's going on? I'll kill you.

I will kill you. And the kids would suddenly be jumping around, and I'd be like, that's good. Good. Now you try. Come on, kids.

Conan O'Brien
The network's watching. She's pulling you out of their room with a cane. Yeah, exactly. But it didn't work, and I couldn't fall asleep till, like, one in the morning. And it just.

Everything now, because it's been two and a half years since I ended my show. I can see. I can see it now, but at the time when you're in it, you can't. You just. You know that this is what the job is and you do it, but it's only later on that you will see these things well, and stand up's the same way.

Taylor Tomlinson
I mean, like, you have a great show. You're done at 10:00 p.m. And then you're just buzzing until three in the morning. So it's actually been nice to finish by, like, 07:00 p.m. Usually like six or seven and be like, oh, I'll come down by like 10:00 p.m.

Which is nice, unless I go to a set or something. We did shows, I don't know, about a year ago at the Beacon. Oh, yeah. And so it's the three of us doing a show for the, for the podcast. It's still, it's like, it's, the beacon's packed, we're doing a show.

Conan O'Brien
I go out and open it. What happened was we ended, the show ended late. I remember when I came backstage and you say hi to a bunch of people who have come to see it, say hi to everybody. And then everyone drifts away. And I was like, now we go, now we go out and we hit a, we go to dinner, you know, we get a drink and get some dinner.

I'm already in bed. You were in bed in your dickensian night suit. A couple of them, couple of layers, and Sona disappears. And so I'm just saying to my producer, what are we doing? He went, I ate and he's had his soup with him, I gotta go.

And he was like, hey, I don't know, I think everything's closed. Anyway, see you tomorrow for the next show. In New York City, everything took off. No, but seriously, I went around and I was showing up at restaurants, but now it's after eleven, everything's closed. And I was, I was like, no, no, no, I need to go someplace.

Make the waiter laugh against his will. I need to like, hey, there's the chef. Hey, chef, look at this bit. I thought of, you know, I got a, and there was no place to go. And I was just, imagine you doing one of those little routines with the broom on the bear stage in the spotlight.

Yeah, yeah, no, I was losing my mind and I was like, it's New York City. Sinatra said, it's the city that never sleeps. He didn't then go, except after eleven.

Sinatra and Trump. Towards the end, Sinatra sounded a lot like Trump. Yeah, he did. In the end, like, Trump may be a grand new darn New York, New York. But anyway, that was, I had nowhere to put all that energy.

And then finally, I think we made a place down at Lincoln. I'm Columbus Circle. I like, I made a place open up. We made a place open. No, no, I think they were closing.

And I was like, come on. And they said, okay. And I went, hey, have you heard of this one? They all just want to go home to their families. We're trying to put our children to sleep.

This is a residence. This is not a restaurant. Well, it's a restaurant now. Fuck off. And in New York, that's not.

Taylor Tomlinson
You know, they're used to seeing famous people, so they're like, oh, man. God damn it, Conan. You gotta go back on the road. Cause if you do that in, like, you know, Birmingham, Alabama, they're like, yeah, we'll stay open all night. This is the greatest thing that's ever happened.

Conan O'Brien's here. Remember when we were on tour once? This is the other tour. Oh, the can't stop. We got to the hotel, and the bar was closed, and I made the.

I was like, it can't be closed. I just performed for thousands of people for three solid hours. I killed. I killed. And they were like, we don't fucking care if you killed.

I killed. I tell you, those were big laughs. Cut to the bar opening up. Yeah, they were really nice. They were cool about it, but, yeah, you kept a few places open.

Yeah. It's called alcoholism. My point is, I mean, I love that documentary, but I'm also a workaholic. So when you say you're a workaholic, let's unpack that. I didn't know for a second.

I didn't know we were gonna. Well, I know. I'm just. I wish I hadn't said it. No, but I'm just curious.

It was sort of just a light thing I said. No kidding. No kidding. Let's get into it. But you really like to work.

Conan O'Brien
Yes, I do like to work. And that is, to me, one of the hacks in life or one of the tricks is you take something about yourself that could be a problem. But if you can tame it and use it in just the right amount, it's fantastic. And so I like to work, and. There'S so many different types of ways to work in entertainment.

Taylor Tomlinson
So anytime you're like, oh, I have time off. You're like, am I gonna go right over here in this place? Like, that's what's so fun to me is like, I had last weekend off, and I was like, oh, hell, yeah. I finally have some time off from the show. I'm gonna go write stand up for 4 hours at a coffee shop.

And that felt like rest to me, which it's not. It's still wor. I know Sona's looking at me like I'm crazy. No, no. It's just.

That's not who I am. Sona's like, do they have croissants? The ones with chocolate. Well, like, not being productive isn't restful for me. Yeah, no, I think is what it is.

So you're like, well, why would I do nothing when I'm not gonna enjoy it fully? Like, I got right after I got the after midnight job, I got mono, and I was sick for like, two months. And I had to film the special in the first two weeks. But then once the special was filmed, I had, like, a few weeks where I was just doing nothing. And me and my writing partner, like, finished a script in that time because I was like, I have three good hours in the middle of the day and we can get on zoom.

So I'll wake up at noon and then we can hop on from like one to three. And then I go back to bed at four. And we got a lot done. And it was really. Yeah, and it's awesome.

And I felt great about it, but if I'd just been laying there. Healing.

Conan O'Brien
Sucks. Just got closer to death. Nothing to show for it. You just totally insulted your own immune system. Your immune system's like, wait a minute.

What? Whatever. Everybody's like, you know, some people get over it in like, three weeks. I'm like, yeah, if they stay down, I guess. But I had stuff to do.

Yeah, if you drink liquids. I haven't had a liquid in six, six months. And then there's this myth of, hey, chill. Yeah, don't work. Chill.

And I don't know. I've never been able to chill. I don't know how to chill. I have terrible news. It's not a myth.

Taylor Tomlinson
It works for some people. Does it really? It really does. I've seen it happen. Some people actually chill.

Yeah. I've seen people spend a whole day reading and I'm like, what with the two chill chunks? We're real chill, both of us. I think you're chill. Chill.

Conan O'Brien
No, I. Admittedly I should. I don't think I'm half and half. I. I need to work for a few hours to feel like I've earned it.

But then once I've done that, I feel like, oh, I've earned this. I could chill. I think the exception is Sona, who does not need to work hard to kill Mernick. That's actually, you know, what? You're saying that in a way where you feel like.

Taylor Tomlinson
I feel like you're trying to insult me. No, I'm describing you to the police. That's an act. I think you're my queen. When you say you do a show all week and then you do stand up.

It just boggles my mind. I mean, it's amazing. Well, it depends on the stamina that is. I mean, doing Largo is different than, like, traveling somewhere, you know? Like, Largo's like, oh, this is so nice and relaxing.

And it was a comedy. Oh, my God. Yeah, I was talking to Flanny about you, actually, because he was saying. He's like, you never know what's gonna happen with the show. He's like, I bought this place when I was 30, and I thought maybe I'd only do it for five years.

And here we are 30 years later. He's like, Conan told me he thought he was gonna be out of the business in a few years. And I was like, okay. He's like, yeah, so you never know. And we'll see.

And you're like, yeah, I mean, Flanny. Has no right talking about me. That was rude. I mean, don't you think it was sort of. Yeah, no, no.

Flanny's the guy that runs. Do you even know Conan? Yeah, he does not. I don't know any Flanny. Flanny's this.

Conan O'Brien
He runs Largo, which is really one of the best live venues in Los Angeles. And I only say that because this podcast goes out to other realms, but it is every comedian's favorite room to be in. Sometimes it can almost give you a deceptive read because you can go to Largo, and sometimes I feel like you can read out of the phone book, and you'll get some really solid laughs, and you'll think, this phone book thing's killer. I'm taking this out on the road, and then you get killed. Yeah, well, that's the problem with once people come to see you on purpose, you're like, is this.

Taylor Tomlinson
Do you really like it? So you have to kind of adjust your expectations. See you on purpose. I love it. Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
See you on purpose. Oh, I was. People were tricked into watching me do stand up for years. They're like, we came for chicken fingers and a male comedian. We had no idea.

Taylor Tomlinson
We were just finishing a day at the mall. How dare you bamboozle us, funnybone. There were so many times I said to my wife, let's go out for chicken fingers and a male comedian. And then, you know, yeah, Laurie Kilmartin would come out and I'd go, what the fuck?

Conan O'Brien
What's a lady doing up there?

And this doesn't taste like chicken.

Taylor Tomlinson
And I was like a child on top of it. So, look, I saw the disappointment on people's faces. I came from an era where, when I debuted in 1993, there's no Internet. There's, you know, there's no streaming. There's maybe.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah, there's four networks. There's no teleprompters. Yeah, there's no tele. No teleprompters. They were steam powered.

They weren't good. They exploded all the time. Someone on a bike behind it, someone's peddling it. Welcome to the show. Speed it up there, Myron.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm trying shoveling coal into.

Conan O'Brien
But there was a solid, I don't know, I want to say two, three years there where it was on, and there wasn't much else to do at 1230 at night. So today there's a billion things you can watch. And. And I was part of this era where people would come up to me on the street and say, you know, didn't want to watch you. They wouldn't say that, exactly, but it was clear that was not the plan.

I didn't want to do that. But I developed this rash. They gave me a medication, and the cream has to be applied. And so I had to get up at 1230 and reapply the cream. I turned on the tv and you're there.

I didn't like it. But after nine days and nine cream applyings, I was like, you know what? He's got something. And I thought, oh, my God. I mean, I literally, so many new moms with newborns would say to me, this is back in the early nineties, you know, I'm a huge fan.

I would have to get up and breastfeed, and you were on. You know, I watched it for four solid weeks, and you didn't. I didn't get it. But now I love you. And I would think, that wouldn't happen today.

No, you're not. America was forced to put up with my shit for a number of years. They had no choice. And then they were like, all right, I guess the hair can. America was like, this is the guy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's. Yeah. One of the advantages of this new world and so many new opportunities is that we're getting to hear voices we wouldn't have heard in an old system where they're just. Because they never would have given me a chance, is what you're saying.

They would not have. I mean, they weren't. Let's be honest, they were not like, okay, there's a long line of, you know, women doing comedy. They're obviously great pioneers and everything, but it was. No, women weren't funny until bridesmaids came out, like, on the record.

Taylor Tomlinson
Yeah, that was when it all changed over. But everyone before that garbage. Yeah, yeah. Lucille Ball. It's just dreadful.

I didn't get it. I didn't get it. Yeah, not the best. Not the best. Carol Burnett.

Conan O'Brien
I mean, I've done the work. I've gone and looked. Yeah.

Well. And even now, I mean, again, I did all these interviews, and every interview was like, what is it like to be the only woman in late night? And I was like, oh, shit, is this gonna be a big deal? This feels like a lot of pressure. Like we're doing a silly, funny, goofy game show.

Taylor Tomlinson
For years, it was how young I was, like, you know what I mean? And they still, like, list my age in most things. And, you know, I'll probably hate that in a few years. I'll go, oh, there's a paper trail. Yeah.

Guess we can't lie. But, yeah, I mean, it's kind of similar to how I felt about that, where I was like, is everything gonna be about how young I am? Cause everyone's kind of saying it in a surprised way, like, even. Because even though you're this, you've still got this thing. And I'm like, I was the first asexual host, and I thought that was a huge barrier.

Conan O'Brien
People were like, we're not sure. They didn't know what you were. They weren't sure. And often I wasn't sure. You weren't sure on the air.

Sometimes, you know, there I am talking to Sir Richard Harris, and I sort of pucker my lips and try to kiss him. Oh, okay. I wish they thought they were hiring the first female. They did. He did a bait and switch.

I am a man. Take a look. I dropped my pants. Still confusion. Come on.

That's the big reveal. I'm a man. Can we get more light in here? Fuck you. Well, I for one, I'm so glad bridesmaids came out because it has enabled you now exactly.

Taylor Tomlinson
To be paved the way. Yeah, exactly. Who did you. I'm just curious just before we. Because I want to wrap things up, but I don't want to wrap things up.

Let me make sure I don't have any more questions for you. I don't think I had everything. I was born in 1993. Jesus. Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
Wait a minute. You're going through a long list and you got them all. You do your thing. Who did you see when you were interested in comedy and young, and you saw them and you thought, okay, that's who I want to be, or that person gives me the confidence to think I could do it. Oh, gosh.

Taylor Tomlinson
I mean, I don't know. Cause I felt like, I guess just every female comic that made it was like, honestly, again, not to do the gender thing, but it did help. Kathleen Madigan, Maria Bamford, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, like, Amy Schumer getting so huge. I think everybody who makes it and is so successful in this business makes you feel like, oh, I could do that, maybe if everybody's cool with this. Everyone thinks women are funny, finally.

It's so funny to think that that was a conversation for so many years when I was a kid, because now we joke about it. Cause it's, like, not. I don't think anybody's in that anymore. But when we were kids, it really was. I don't know.

I hate female. And people did say that to me in my early twenties, like, again, coming to see me at funny bones or whatever, they'd go, I hate female comics. But you were good. Like, there was a lot of that. That's unbelievable.

Conan O'Brien
Yeah, I mean, it's absolutely. I shouldn't say that it's completely believable, given that time, but it's unbelievable to contemplate now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taylor, I really am so happy for you, and you are uniquely gifted and a really good person. And I think right now, there are so many young people watching you saying, I want to be Taylor Tomlinson, and it's your job to destroy them so they don't take that from you.

But seriously, thanks so much for. Thank you so much. I'm sorry I asked you for so much advice. You think you're asking the wrong person, but sure, go ahead. I can't text Colbert anymore.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm bothering him. No, he's been great. He's so nice. He's a very nice man. He's so nice.

Conan O'Brien
I just think he should try harder. Really? Well, he's got this again. We're. We're wrapping up.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm sorry. We can do this off air if you want. No, no. Let's say it on the air. I mean, it's very intimidating to spend time with him and you and go, oh, they both have that thing that I just don't have.

I don't have the, like, like, always on, like, very charismatic, very social. Like, I don't have that thing that you two both have that's own personality. But a lot of my favorite people, many of my favorite comedians don't do that. They're on. They do their thing, and then they're quiet and reserved or they're a bit of an introvert.

Conan O'Brien
A lot of my favorite comedians are introverts, Steven and I. There's just something wrong with us. But it's so, like, it's amazing to watch. Like, you're like machines. Like, you're just.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm like. You're just funny all the time. Like, I gotta go. Well, no, they'll tell you I'm not a neediness. No, it's not a neediness.

Conan O'Brien
It comes from. God gave me a gift and I must pass it on. Yeah, it's in the Bible. Desperately. No, no, no.

A prophet spreading the good word. Anyway, I don't think. There's just many different. There are many, many, many ways that people get here. And a lot of my favorite comics are not like that.

So don't be looking around. Don't compare. You're Taylor Tomlinson. They can fuck it, you know? That's very nice.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm gonna clip that out and just listen to it in the morning as an affirmation. Yeah. Every morning. They can fuck it. You're Taylor Tomlinson and they can fuck it.

That was great. You mean they can fuck off? Yeah, they can fuck off. I like it that way. I like fuck it.

Okay. If they said. If I said, fuck off? Yeah, that's what everyone says. My trick is to change it a little bit.

Conan O'Brien
They can fuck it. Now it's got us talking. And you know what? That's gonna be a t shirt. Yeah.

Taylor Thomas wondering what it is. Exactly. So much gravitas. I was like, yeah, they can fuck it. I said it like Walter Cronkite on his last broadcast.

That got by me. I'm Walter Cronkite and you can fuck it. That's gonna be a t shirt. You're gonna see that t shirt. I felt like that was inspiring.

Taylor Tomlinson
I wouldn't have even caught that. No, we both. I thought you thought it was funny, too, because I was like, what? Well, I thought it at first, too, but then, yeah, like, everything you gotta run it through twice with this guy. A lot of great poets.

Conan O'Brien
It's the little things they change. Anyway, go with God. And they can fuck it. And they can fuck it. And congrats.

Congratulations on everything. I'm so happy for you. Thank you.

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It's incredible. Gear that's known for being meticulously engineered, ruggedly designed, responsibly made and guaranteed for life. Guaranteed for life. That's pretty sweet. Yeah.

That's like a wedding vow. Yeah. Oh, it's incredible. They sent us this backpack. It looks really nice.

It's a nice color. It's got a tech pouch. Keep all your cool tech stuff in there. Yep. Oh, that's nice.

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Taylor Tomlinson
Hi, this is Matt and this is Sona. We're leaving the studio right now, and as you can tell by the. Is that a Ferrari or a Lamborghini? I don't know. The wrong person.

It's orange. We were requested by conan and Adam to do our own little segment as we were walking to our car. Yes. What do you want to talk about? Well, let's talk about how I thought.

So. First of all, my car has been here for days. And I don't even know if it's going to be there when I get there, but I thought I had forgotten my key. So you very graciously, were going to give me a ride home, which is nice. And now we're doing, like, it's almost very mall walking.

I was saying. Yeah. And I'm a little disappointed I don't get to give you a ride home because, you know, Sona, time is good time. Oh, that's really nice. I know.

You know, I like mad time. I don't know why. Things are just so much more pleasant when Conan's not around. What could it be? I feel lighter than air right now.

Me too. I feel like we're having a good time. We're being nice to each other. This is nice. And there's a really big element that's missing, but I don't miss it.

I know. And also, the fact that this segment is going to end with the reveal of whether or not your car is there or not, because it's Monday, and your car's been in the cv's parking lot since Friday. Thursday. Since Thursday. Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
I can't imagine it's still there. Sona, I may end up giving you a ride. Yeah. You know what? If it's cool, would you walk with me?

No. You had your chance. Of course I will. Okay. That's cool.

Taylor Tomlinson
Because I don't know what I'm gonna do if it's not there. I haven't gotten my car towed in years, and so I forgot who I would call and how I would find it. So I don't know. I mean, we'll see. We'll find out.

Conan O'Brien
But you were telling me you used to get your car towed quite a bit, right? I've gotten my car towed, like, three times, and the first time is like. You're like, oh, my God, did it get stolen? And by the third time, you're like, oh, what did I do? What did I do this time?

That makes sense. Yeah, it is. Because anytime you do get it towed, you are the person who's responsible. Is this where yours is? Because the gates close?

No, mine's back there. Okay, all right. What if my car is gone? That's the twist. Yes.

Taylor Tomlinson
I would love that. I wouldn't love it because you have to get home, but that would be a fun twist also. We're walking in the middle of the street, talking into a phone. You're not embarrassed, right? I am.

Conan O'Brien
Are you really? Yeah, I am. Why am I embarrassed and you're not? I don't know. It just feels like I would think people think we're talking to the same person on the phone.

Oh, like we've called someone we. A mutual friend. So every time someone walks by, I'm just gonna be like, yeah, John. Yeah, John. I'm used to mall walking too, where you walk around with a microphone.

Taylor Tomlinson
I know that's true. Do I get a snack on the way home? Yeah. Here's a half eaten turkey stick. Yeah, you got a meat stick in your.

Conan O'Brien
We could talk about the snacks at team Coco, because when you finish recording a session and even before, you and I are often kind of meeting up at the snack basket or whatever. I hate to admit this, Matt. I don't know. If you do this, I plan my day around the snacks I'm gonna eat at the office. Meaning you won't eat a meal if you know you're coming in.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'll be like, oh, I know. I'm gonna shove my face full of, like, you know, popcorn from the office. So I'm just not gonna eat too much for breakfast. Hey, John. Hey, John.

Conan O'Brien
It's so good to talk to you, John. I must look like I have no money and no resources because every time I leave Team coco, it's with a handful of chips and tin cans and all this food. You have a Lacroix in your hand and a meat stick. Hey, John, you won't believe who I'm walking with. We miss you, John.

Taylor Tomlinson
Come visit us soon. It's so nice out here. What celebrity could we imagine John is? What do you mean? Like.

Conan O'Brien
Like a celebrity named John? Who's the biggest? John. John Krasinski. John Tesh.

John Krasinski. John Tesh. Is it John? Is it. Wait, is it John Tesh?

Taylor Tomlinson
It's not that. Isn't it? It's not. Why did I think. Why did I think his name was Bill Tesh?

Hey, Bill, who's the biggest? John. John? Oh, there's. It's a Lamborghini.

Conan O'Brien
What? It's a Lamborghini. That's the one. I'm glad we closed the loop on whether that was a Lamborghini or a Ferrari. Okay, we're going in.

I'm also halfway through a mouthful of turkey stick. We're going downstairs. Where are you taking me? When you eat a beef stick, let's say that was the beef version. Do you ever say you're getting a hot beef injection?

Every time. And this is a turkey stick, so I say I'm getting a hot gobbler. I'm sorry. I'm still stuck on thinking John Tesh's name was Bill Tesh.

Taylor Tomlinson
I'm just really excited I had my keys because I thought I was going to inconvenience you right now. Yeah. Oh, no. What's the matter? You weren't recording?

Conan O'Brien
No, I think I'm still recording. We'll find out at the end. No, it's still rolling. Oh, there he is. And your car's still here.

Taylor Tomlinson
Yes. Wow. Oh, you don't have to do that. Okay, well, keep this segment going. Yeah.

Conan O'Brien
Give the people what they want to hear.

Taylor Tomlinson
They're like, hey, you know what? For a while, I was wondering. Wait, wait. I have the. I have the phone.

And you're far away. Hold on. I was gonna say, I bet people have always wonder, like, what's it like when it's just Sona and Matt and now, you know, and maybe. Yeah, yeah, maybe. They're like, oh, we're good.

Conan O'Brien
Maybe. But I can at least describe the interior of Sona's car. And it's got tacks. Mahogany, like, fisting block. Don't say it's not a fisting.

Taylor Tomlinson
It's not a fisting block. It's a fisting if I'm eating a hot beef injection. This is a mahogany fisting block. It's. He punches it to condition his hands.

Cause you know if you don't punch it, then your hands are weak. What's this? It's a rolling pin. But he does something with that, too. I think it's just a wooden oak dowel.

Yeah, he like. Yes. I think he hits his legs with it or something. No, I think he's in a child's musical band.

When he says he has a gig, he's going to a preschool. I'm so glad my car's here. I'm so glad I had my keys. What do you got planned for the rest of the day? I'm gonna get fucked up.

Conan O'Brien
Yep, I already am, baby.

Taylor Tomlinson
Okay. You can actually drop me off right here. Cause that's my orange Lamborghini. Oh, is it? Okay, but you weren't sure if it was a Lamborghini or a Ferrari.

Conan O'Brien
I just said, give me something fast and expensive. You're such a Lamborghini guy. I should have waited for those people to cross the street. I'm the Lamborghini guy. You're.

Taylor Tomlinson
You. Do you think you're a Lamborghini person? I know I'm not. I think I'm a Corvette person. What?

Yeah, I would do. I would fuck a Corvette up. I would just fuck it. Oh, you are getting fucked up today. Oh, my God.

Conan O'Brien
What? Is partying going? No wonder you. Oh, my God. That's where I am right there.

You can pull over right here, or. I'm gonna do a ue. Dewey, full service. Yeah. I'm not gonna take you to your car, but I'm gonna get you close to it, because you know what?

Taylor Tomlinson
You're really nice enough to almost. Almost drive me to my car. Thank you. My car's pissed at you. Okay.

Conan O'Brien
I'm gonna put these wooden child instruments down and I'll say my goodbye. Thank you, Sona. Love you, girls. Love you. Bye bye.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien, Sona Mufsecian and Matt Gorley produced by me, Matt Gorley. Executive produced by Adam Adam Sacks, Nick Liao and Jeff Ross at Team Coco and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf. Theme song by the White Stripes incidental music by Jimmy Vivino. Take it away, Jimmy.

Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair and our associate talent producer is Jennifer. Samples engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burens. Additional production support by Mars Melnick. Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Bautista and Britt Kahn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

Got a question for Conan? Call the team Coco hotline at 669-587-2847 and leave a message. It, too could be featured on a future episode. And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O'Brien needs a friend. Wherever fine podcasts are downloaded, your new beginning starts now.

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Taylor Tomlinson Returns

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1: Introduction

2: Spicy Challenges

3: Fame and Fan Interactions

4: Reflections on Comedy and Life

5: Wrapping Up

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