Jerry Seinfeld | Club Random with Bill Maher

Bill Maher
Hey, club random fans, guess what I did? I wrote a damn book. It's called what this comedian said will shock you. And it's available for pre order now, where you get your books or@simonandshuster.com dot. When I first saw Monty Python when I was a kid, I lost my mind.

Jerry Seinfeld
Like, this is everything that I want. Club random. If I could have just been a pure stand up and never done anything. But you're already known as the purist of the pure stand ups. Club random, I must tell you, I got up this morning, I was like, Christmas morning, that.

Bill Maher
No, really. I felt that Christmas morning vibe because, like, Jerry Seinfeld's gonna be here. I got. I am excited, too. I got excited, too.

Jerry Seinfeld
I've been excited for a couple days. It looks odd that we're talking about being excited in this position with each other. Sit down. There's a stripper pole right there. I see.

Bill Maher
But you'll never guess who just called me. Leno. I just talked to him, too, but. I said, yeah, I haven't seen him in a while. I really would love to get together.

Maybe the three of us when you're out. That'd be amazing. So that's what's good about these shows, though, which I'm sure you've already discovered, and I discovered with the comedians in cars, people. I can't. I can't.

Jerry Seinfeld
I'm not calling people people up and hanging out. But if you do a show, I. Said it every week. Yeah. Both people who I know like you, who are like, exactly.

Bill Maher
Why are we here? Because we're forced to. We're not. It's just this crazy force of thing that makes us. We don't need the money, you don't need the promotion.

Although we'll certainly do what we can. Thank you. But the other thing is, I don't know how you feel. I think you might be a little different this way. But I don't like to be around people not working.

Jerry Seinfeld
The working is kind of this base. It's like a baseline current. It's like a beat. It's like I can hang out with almost any comic. If we're here to do a gig, if we're just.

If I'm here just to enjoy your company, that's not good. But to me, no, the art, it's. Not going to be good enough. Your company.

I can get a set in and. Chat and screw and get some new material. I mean, I could take that the wrong way, but I'm not going to. Yes, I completely see the point about. And said it to.

Bill Maher
About work, but also to, while you are working, do exactly what you would be if you were not working. In other words, if we were. Let's go over that again. If we were just here and we weren't working. I want this conversation to be zero.

Different. Oh, that won't happen. That can't happen. Because, I mean, yes, I'm a savvy professional. Do you think I don't know that if I say something stupid, it won't do?

Okay, I can do it. No, even you are savvy. You are also the savviest professional. What do you weigh right now, bill? What do you weigh?

Why is that a relevant question? What's the name of the show club? Random. Okay. What do you weigh?

I think probably 152 today. What, today? Today. It varies. Yeah, me too.

Jerry Seinfeld
I weigh 166 today. And what were you in 1979? 79. I was probably 150. Probably the same.

But I think you have. You're slightly smaller. I don't know. Over time or. You mean compared to you?

Bill Maher
Yes. It's a frame. You're a little bigger. A little bit, yeah. Also ego.

Jerry Seinfeld
Yes. Well, I don't know. That's a close race. Let's. Well, listen, before I forget, what can I get Jerry for his birthday?

Bill Maher
I mean, the man. You have everything. You're a great star. Never get tired of it. Do you ever get tired of that?

Jerry Seinfeld
No one else ever said those words. But, don, you're a great star. I know. I only said to you, I love it. No one else, I love it.

I want you so bad. But she took the necklace off and the head hits the sink.

Bill Maher
Some of those things, they made no sense, you know. Drop your pants and fire a rocket. Well, he didn't want to say, fire a rocket out of my ass. That's what he wanted to say. But he was very, very clean, which is interesting, because he.

Jerry Seinfeld
Well, that he had those little. What do we call them? He would just kind of bend the rules, let's say, for television and for his. Oh, yes. But, yeah, drop my pants and fire a rocket out of my ass.

That's what you're supposed to. You're supposed to finish it in your head. I didn't even know that was a thing. Oh, sure.

Bill Maher
Well, I loved it as a kid, no matter what he did. And he certainly would be the eminently cantablobal today. Let's not. Oh, I promise you, I saw him. You can't move him from yesterday, from then to now without him modulating.

Jerry Seinfeld
He wouldn't have, you don't know that he's gonna want to work. I think the man likes to work.

Bill Maher
Okay. But I saw him doing it like later than it should have been. I saw him opening. Yeah, yeah. That was a miscalculation, right?

Anyway, anyway, I wanted, this is so you. Spill. It's so touched, you don't even know what it is yet. Don't worry, I'm not really what it is. Well, I hope you were touched by what I gave you at your school.

Jerry Seinfeld
I was. I put it very prominently in my little den. That was the metal rabbit. I love it. And I look at it and I think of you and it's, it's okay.

It's too much because you really, well, and it's true. And let me tell the people. Oh gosh, do we have to tell them? You don't want to. All right, go ahead.

It's okay. I mean, it's not, I mean, it's. Not a big deal. It was very sweet, very nice, but it limbs. I think for an audience who you really are to us, the comedians, I had a rabbit made, by the way, they don't make rabbits.

Bill Maher
I had to have it made because you can get a bunny on Amazon. Bunnies are all over, but not like the rabbit in motion. And the idea was Jerry was always the rabbit in among the comedians. He was the lead leader of the pack who we were all chasing. And it was inscribed the rabbit we never caught.

Jerry Seinfeld
Ah. What, you don't remember that? Of course. I said it like, oh, I don't think I read it. Does that say that on there?

Bill Maher
It does. Oh, I never read it.

Jerry Seinfeld
I'll go home right after this and read it. You just remember me saying it at the, yes. That's interesting. Wow. Well, anyway, that's exactly who you are.

Thank you. Always were. You also been a great friend. You know, you were there when I did the first week of politically incorrect. You didn't have to.

Bill Maher
You flew to Washington on your wife's birthday in 2014 when I needed a guest on, when we did our special show in DC. That's right, when you did the stand up special. And I certainly have vivid memories of like one time I got off stage at the comic strip and I had tried like all this new material. This is my first year. I remember you.

I look back and I think you must have been thinking, you fucking idiot. But you were nice enough to be like, you know, you should just try one or two new things. And it was, you know, advice I needed to get and probably did not follow for another three years. But I went through all, like, my file from 1979 because I thought, where can I get the person who has everything? You've got the amazing career, the perfect wife, the great family, the adoration of a grateful nation.

The only thing I could get you is to amuse you and give you a memory or bring back a memory. So here's my show and tell box. Look at this. From 1979. What is that?

Jerry Seinfeld
Comedy hour. Don't mind company. No, I don't know why I'm in company. It's my first year in comedy. But look at the time.

1230 to 130. 1230 to 130. Well, you can't give me this. I'm not giving it to you. There is something I do want to give you.

Oh, okay. That I've treasured for 50 years. 60 years. But I. 60?

Bill Maher
Yeah, yeah. It's from the. It's 1964, but 1230, the fact that. We were doing shows all the time. And this is, well, 1230 would be a bad time to do the show.

Am or pm. But this was noon. This was a nooner. Okay, so. All right, so here's the thing I want to have framed if you like it, for you.

Um, see if you can see what this is. I bet you you are here. Oh, I'm a pack rat. You're not. Oh my God.

Do you know what that is? Of course I know what it is. And I really. More than anything, yes. Were you there?

Jerry Seinfeld
I lived for it. I went many, many times. And I have quite a bit of memorabilia myself. Anything blue and orange that says world's fair on it, I have it. Not anything.

Bill Maher
Well, that is the map that told you where all the pavilions and everything was at the 1964 World's Fair, which. Oh. So let's be honest, Bill. What? And say there's a sadness to what the world seemed like to us at this time, what we thought it was, what everybody wanted it to be, right?

I was looking at this the other day and I see, like, you know, the GM pavilion, and I thought, you know, nobody bitched about every fucking thing back then. Now every pavilion would have somebody in front of it like, you know, you're making oil and you can't, you know, like nobody would just enjoy the fucking. Well, it's Jimmy Brogan's great heckler line that he used to do when people would start to heckle. He would always say, I'm sorry, we don't have microphones for everyone. Remember that line?

Jerry Seinfeld
No, I don't, unfortunately, that's what happened. That's what happened. And, yes, it ruined everything. But how do you have this, by the way? Because I'm a pack, right?

Bill Maher
I'm the opposite of you. This is a map of the world's fair. It looks like an architectural rendering. No, I think they gave it to you so that you could know where, you know. Hey, I'm here at the Finland pavilion.

No, really. And we want to get to Muriel cigars before lunch. We want to get to be real soon. I remember walking around here and at one point being very, like, tired and my feet were hurt. Remember how boring the countries were?

Jerry Seinfeld
I don't want to see any countries. Right. Let's go to the. Well, the Caribbean. You'll see.

Bill Maher
That was on there. That was kind of a good one. Do you remember the stories of the kids that got lost in there and their parents left them there and they were living off the coins in the fountain, the corn dogs? I don't remember that. But I do remember kids getting lost there.

Jerry Seinfeld
Well, if you're going to give this to me, I want to have it. Framed and then give it to you. Yes, I would love it. And I'll put it up on my wall because this means. And you can look at it endlessly because it's so intricate and they have all the incredible.

Oh, thank you, Billy. That's lovely. See, you can't get that at Sears. No, no. So funny that you mentioned Jimmy Brogan.

Bill Maher
This is what I took out of a tv guide in 1979, the year I met you at the clubs. I kept every one of the fall preview issues of TV Guide that had all the new shows. You know what I'm talking about? Of course. And that was like.

That was a big event for me when I was a kid. The fall shows. Yeah. Like this one, I do not remember. But this is a man called Sloan Robert Conrad.

Jerry Seinfeld
Wow. I loved him. I wanted to be him. Yeah. What a stud.

Bill Maher
Stars as Thomas Remington Sloan III, a stylish cosmopolitan. An unnervingly effective globe circling seeker agent. Not unlike James Bond, who reports directly to the president of the United States. But look who's at the bottom out. Of the blue with Jimmy Brogan.

And I cut that out because it was like, wow, I know a guy in tv. Guy, right? Like that. Really?

See, like I said, like there was nobody else here. I read for Trapper John so many times. What? That. I don't know why they kept reading me.

Jerry Seinfeld
They never put me on the show. I was desperate to get on in the eighties. So here it is. Trapper John. Trapper John, I didn't know you read for guest starring a couple of times.

Bill Maher
Yeah, I know. You did the Benson. You were a regular. Yes. Well, I did three episodes.

I thought it was like, seven. No, it was three, and they fired me. Oh, mercifully, that's very close to the. Guy who didn't sign the Beatles. Yeah, you know.

Jerry Seinfeld
Ooh, sorry. That's all right. By the way, drink. You don't drink or you just have to drink? I drink, but it's a little early and I'm driving.

Bill Maher
Oh, you're driving? You drove yourself? Yeah. What a stud. Yeah, but we know how you feel about cars.

Jerry Seinfeld
Yeah, I drove an old Mercedes Benz diesel here. I mean, I just. That level of car, I mean, I guess Jay has it too. Level of car enthusiasm. Yeah, I don't want to talk about that.

Bill Maher
I don't either. I don't like to. I know it's not of any interest, but. But to your credit, you made it interesting to me on the show. Like when you did those Acura commercials.

Jerry Seinfeld
You got a little interested. I know. Well, not enough to, like, pursue it, but, like, it was. I was interested in the connection you had between the person and the car. Yeah.

Bill Maher
I thought was elegant. Yeah, people like that. I never understood. The one you picked me up in, it was a german police. It was for one joke, which is, it was a VW police car, because this is.

Jerry Seinfeld
You're someone who seems to have a lot of power and has none. And I thought, that's what that car is, a VW police car. You're police, but you can't catch anybody. Well, yeah, I guess I noticed that in that show, though, in your own kind of Seinfeldian way, you did become such a truth teller.

Bill Maher
Obviously not political the way I do it, but you just used your political capital from the first show. Right. I felt like, you know, the popularity that you would accrue to, like, go, well, I'm just gonna say what the fuck I want. And it's not always gonna be that pleasing to everybody. And that's so, to me, the most refreshing thing in show business.

Jerry Seinfeld
Yeah. But it wasn't. There's nothing really. I suppose it was a little more revealing than what people had known prior, but not that much, really. I don't know, what have you.

Bill Maher
That's what I think. Oh, okay. I mean, just because you weren't playing from a script like in the show, I mean, that's a character, first of all, obviously close, but, you know, the situations were so absurd. Right. Were ridiculous that there was a show about nothing.

Nothing. It was about everything. Right? Yeah. Right.

That's not. And then now you're just talking to somebody and they're saying, you know, like, what do you think you owe your kids? Nothing. Right? You just.

You know, you said things about, like, family and stuff like that. That was like, oh, wow. Yeah. Well, that's what this show is. What you've accomplished with this show.

Jerry Seinfeld
Because I thought nobody has always been more.

I don't wanna use the word transparent, but we probably know more about your opinions than any other celebrity out there. And yet, on this show, there was a whole other world of stuff that I can't believe. I still can't believe. When you were on with, I think it was Mamet, and you got into a thing about the battery shortage in Germany, that they were trying to go electric when they kind of overshot it. And I'm going, how does this guy stop at that article in the paper and say, yeah, I need to know more about the german power grid.

Bill Maher
Stop. You're being. You don't think you know about many, many things? No, I don't. Not like you.

Really? No. I watched the show to see. What does Bill know that I didn't know he knew, and I'm always blown away. Wow, that one was amazing.

Jerry Seinfeld
And then you talk with that other guy about the Bible, and you know all about the Bible.

Bill Maher
I'm old. I know. But your brain is worthy of all the attention it gets. Well, finish your thought, Jerry. Yes.

Jerry Seinfeld
No, I think you're amazing, and I am enjoying you as much now. You're such as things I didn't even know you ever saw this. I watch everyone. How do I know these things? I texted you about doing this.

Bill Maher
You never texted me back. I texted you back. No, you love to. I'm a fan of the show. Oh, yes, that originally.

Then I text you about a month ago and said, what about when you're doing the. Promoting the pop tart movie? And I didn't hear back. Your people got back and said, yeah, he's gonna do it. I was, like, thrilled.

But it's like. Cause I already told you I wanna do it. I know. Most people are not quite. See, again, I'm a rat pack.

You are the guy who is. There's no extra. No extra. I do like that. I love no extra.

Yeah. I mean, I think to quote one more thing that I quoted before about the Paul Simon song, that I always think that is you. And it's such an amazing song. One trick pony. And you are anything but a one trick pony.

Cause you've been successful in when you did reinvent the talk show, you had your series, and you've done movies. But there's that middle part. He makes it look so easy, look so clean. He moves like God's immaculate machine. He makes me think about all these extra moves I make and all this herky jerky motion and the bag of tricks it takes to get me through my working day.

I feel like I'm the herky jerky guy. Well, you're not. And you're the guy who's, like, just gliding through with no extra and no baggage and no stupid mistakes.

Jerry Seinfeld
That song, by the way, hit me like that, too. I thought, that's everything I want to be. What he's describing, I go, that's it. That's it. You don't think you are that I don't try.

I don't know. I mean, you were always, like, more mature than the rest of us, like, back in the day. What did you do that was immature? Professionally speaking? We all knocked professionally and personally, lot, many things.

Bill Maher
Let's not do that. Not professionally. Yeah, absolutely professional. I used to piss off the crowd, so they hated me so much. No matter what kind of joke I told, no matter how funny it was, they would never laugh.

That's the most unprofessional thing you can do. I remember once at the comedy cellar, the emcee getting on after me and saying to the audience, okay, that bad man is gone now. That is absolutely don't run fest. I think it was that bad man is gone now. Yeah, I was very.

Jerry Seinfeld
Okay. I consider that just growth. No creative experimentation that. Yeah. You need no experimentation.

Bill Maher
No, no. It was totally a function of a bad attitude. Your bad attitude has matured. Yeah, I hope. Totally.

Jerry Seinfeld
You're one of the most successful people in the history of television and stand. Up comedy I have been on a long time. Yes. Let's be real. Most guys would wear a t shirt every day of their lives if they could.

Bill Maher
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Jerry Seinfeld
When I saw Mike Tyson in his prime, when he cut the hole in the hotel towel and had no socks and no stool and black shorts with nothing on them, I thought, that's what I want to be. Oh my God. And recently, just a few years ago, I don't know what it was. I said, why do I have these different colored ties and suits? I go, I'm just wearing a black suit and a black tie from now on.

And it just felt so calm. We visited Japan last December. I was so happy there. I connected so strongly with that ethic of their culture of just focus and simplicity and singularity of purpose. I do like that, and I have done these other things, and I have to say, it's all with a component of reluctance.

I do it to think. I think I could do that. Like the movie, I think I could do that. Let's do a different type of talk show. I think I might be able to do that, but it's not really what I wanted.

If I could have just been a pure stand up and never done anything. But you're already known as the purist of the pure stand ups. That is like your. And it's real. And by the way, this leads me to something I feel nervous about telling you.

Bill Maher
I feel like you're the confessor to this, but, like, after this year, I'm going to stop doing it. Really? Well, I could go back. I don't want to make a big announcement or something. Go ahead.

Well, I mean, I'm doing a special at the end of the year. Right. It'll be my 13th for HBO. That's a lot. That's a lot.

And I just feel like you gotta. I don't know. You know, first of all, I put a lot of time and effort into it because, as you know, stand up is like playing the cello. Absolutely. You can't just walk up there.

You have to stay in practice. And I do, and I've always loved it, and I'm always working on it. But I have a show. Yeah. You know, I mean, I don't know how you kept it up during the show or, frankly, why, but you did.

Because they fed each other. First of all, it was so great. And also. Cause I love it. I mean, it's, you know, I can be the loosest.

I can. You know, the show is great, but there's constrictors there. This is looser. But you know what's looser than just you people paid to see me. Yeah.

Even if you don't like it, you kind of have to laugh to get your money's worth. Uh huh. The way you stay in a movie, even though it sucks, I don't want to walk out. I told my father would pay $2 to see a movie and would hate it and wouldn't leave tonight. God damn, mother's great.

Yeah. He waited till it came to the theater. You know where there was one theater in Bergen county where the movies would come late, and so it'd be like, $2? Yeah. All right, let's get back to.

Yeah. Uh, you know, but if I don't. Have to practice the cello 8 hours a day. Right. I can do, you know, I might want to do some of these kind of things live.

That's kind of an interesting option that people do nowadays. Oh, right. You know, and then it's kind of an event. Um, interesting, you know. Yeah.

Jerry Seinfeld
That I. It's not crazy. It's not crazy. It's not crazy. It's not crazy.

I mean, the landscape of the business, which is one of the things I love about the business, is everybody's like, what is going on? What do we do? What are we supposed to do? What's so and so doing? Why is he doing that?

Should I do that? I love that endless grind. Everybody has always hurrah. Everybody's always on the phone. You mean, like, what's happening?

Yeah, yeah. What did you see? What so and so did? What you think of that? Right, right.

Bill Maher
Streaming. And, you know, and I think perhaps for you, for whatever feels right for you at this point is what's right. But that's after 40 years, that's why I don't want to, like, make an announcement. This is my final. Because I might change my mind.

I might. It might be like cutting off a limb. And I have to, I have to go back to it. How do you view the show? How do you view real time and, you know, how old are you now?

Jerry Seinfeld
60 something? Jerry, I'm right. Always hot on your heels. I was a year and a half behind you, whatever it is. Do you ever look forward or do you stay only forward?

Only four. But I mean, do you think, you know, maybe another five? And no, I can't. Jeffrey, the Lorne Michaels line. I asked him, how much longer you think you'll do SNL?

He says, you know, I think it'll get to the point that I feel like I'm slowing down and I don't have the same edge, I don't have the same enthusiasm for it. And he says, when I get to that point, I'll do five more years.

And I love that answer. I love that answer.

I would love for us to compare notes. Who is more addicted to show business, you or me? Because I love it to death today as much as even more. Everything else in life for me has fallen away, has gone gray. I mean, I loved having kids, and that whole side of my life has been great, but you always have to say that.

But if you're just talking about work, let's just talk about work. I'm Chiron and Joe.

I love show business as much today as ever, if not more, because I tried every other goddamn thing. But you say you don't love show business, you love stand up. That's show business. I know, but it's that one aspect again, you're such a minimalist, you're so direct with everything that everything peels away, no extra things. And that's you.

Bill Maher
That's why I think you will do it till you drop. I will, I will, and maybe I will, too. I don't know.

It's a tough decision. But I also feel like it's easy as you get older to not do new things, and that's what keeps you young. I think that's part of the reason I want to do this, definitely. Because, look, when we're doing a podcast, if you said to me ten years ago, even, you know, the big thing at show business is going to be basically AM radio, right? I would have said, you're crazy, right?

And yet, I mean, you talk about too many people at the beginning of the marathon, right, clogging the road, right? I mean, there's like 4 million podcasts. In America, but no one's doing this one. I know, but it would be like if Johnny Carson, when we watched him, had 4 million late night shows that people had that maybe only 500 watched this one and 1000 watched this one. But his rating cumulatively, all those tiny ants sucking a little bit away would have left him not with 17 million, which he had at his height, but, you know, something much more modest.

That's the problem with so many podcasts. No. Why? First of all, you're doing the thing that you hate the most, which is moving people around in chronology. If Johnny Carson was, forget that.

Jerry Seinfeld
We're here now. You're you, we're here now. It doesn't matter what he would have done or what matters is this makes. Go ahead, finish your point. Oh, my God, what year is that?

Bill Maher
1979. Oh, Carson Mustay, can you. What a baller he was, right? I mean, just to like have the headlines like about what you. But you're right, he would not, I mean, as great as he was, he would not survive today.

He was just, that show breathed way too much for the current audience. Right? I know. Yes, I, who cares? The world wouldn't make him today.

Jerry Seinfeld
They don't make those guys anymore. They don't make George C. Scott anymore. You know what loomed large in our world even as late as 1964? Cause it was 20 years after.

Bill Maher
But World War Two was like my childhood. I look back, it was like everything. My parents were in it. Tv shows were about it. Right?

Hogan's heroes and McHale's navy and combat. And didn't you kind of feel also as a kid, I just missed it? I mean, it was when I played army, I played World War two, and there was no nuance to it. We were good. Yes.

They were bad. And, you know, it was like a. A big hug musical. That's what World War Two was. Here's a musical for everyone, you know.

Jerry Seinfeld
Yeah. And everyone was involved in it. Like, nobody was ever like, yeah, I'm just doing something different these days, World War two. But anyway, I'm still not quite to the essence of why it feels right to you to not do it anymore. I don't know.

Because it's the cello and are you travel and travel writing? How much time. How do you. How do you do a tv show and do any stand up stuff? I mean, I'm not married, no kids.

Bill Maher
All my time is mine. Right. So that's one way I like that. I mean, you know me, I think we're very similar to this. I love the tinkering.

I love the. I put that word in front of this thing and I move this over here. It's like putting together a Rubik's cube. Yes, exactly. And I move this here and now it all fits, you know, for six months it was good, but now it's great because I feel bad for those audiences that last six months because, like.

But it's same way in a relationship. I always felt like, oh, if I only knew what I learned on her. Yeah, with you, it would have been a lot better with you. But I can't, you know, we can't reverse time. But you didn't answer my question about real time.

What was that? Which is think of how many years. First of all, you're at it. How many. 25 years real time, starting with politically incorrect.

Well, that's 31. Okay, 31. That counts. Oh, I know, I know. So.

I know. What do you think? Well, I certainly wouldn't want to quit now because I feel like I'm at the top of my goal. Absolutely. And lots of people tell me that.

And that's why I put out this book, Jerry. I signed it to you also. But, you know, I have a book. How'd you do that? The strike.

Jerry Seinfeld
With the same glasses. Even the strike. It's amazing. The strike I had five months to. And it's just.

Bill Maher
It's all the editorials we do at the end. Wow. That I put together, in a way, that made sense. Or you did a lot of work into this. I'm sure you did.

Jerry Seinfeld
Shut up. But I think what standup is for you is what writing that editorial at the end of the show is for me. Oh, okay. That's what, well, that piece I never, ever miss. Oh, thank you for the writing.

Thank you for the flow of it. The consistency is shocking. Your level of consistency is shocking. And it's the best comedy monologue every week that anyone does. And you even make a point on top of being funny, which is, you.

Bill Maher
Know, usually a point no one else is making. Right. That's, I mean, it's very easy. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. I mean, this is Christmas morning for me now.

But I mean, other shows, I feel like are partisan one way or the other. I rarely hear a thought that I haven't heard anywhere else. You know, they will amplify it and get, but their audience doesn't want to. Just mostly wants to hear what they already believe. And they want, yes, Trump's an asshole and Trump is an asshole.

And I certainly have done my share of jokes about that. But I am always trying to say something that's not breaking a news story, but breaking a new way of looking at a news story. And consider this.

Jerry Seinfeld
Oh, it's just fantastic. Thank you. It's fantastic. Well, I appreciate it. I don't know, like when you would go on Larry King, that was always so great.

Bill Maher
Yeah, I loved that. It was great, that show. Don't you think there's a hole for that show? I think it's Joe Rogan. I think Joe Rogan.

What, you just put your hands up like. No, what I'm getting at is what was, I thought special about that show was it was 09:00. Every night at 09:00 Larry King was going to be sitting with someone who would probably be of interest. Yes. And that was a great tv.

Jerry Seinfeld
That was great tv. The set, I thought, was, I loved the multicolored dots, the blackness.

Not like he was the greatest interviewer in the world, but he was good. Well, but that's why I compared him to Joe Rogan, because they're both minimalists. Both of them do zero research by their own admission. Right. Like, it's like they just, I think Joe would say the same thing.

Bill Maher
Larry said, I want to be the audience. I want to be the guy who knows nothing about you. But he's on for three and a half hours. Larry King is, you know, it's on at nine. You're wandering around the house.

Jerry Seinfeld
You're looking for something to do. Who's on Larry King. Right. That was, that was a great thing. I can't believe they haven't tried to replace that.

I don't know who would do it, but. Well, they did. Piers Morgan did it for a minute. Yeah, he wasn't right. I don't think it's the fact that there's nobody right for it.

Bill Maher
I think it's the fact that the audience is different. I mean, we don't have. That was one of the last shows. Well, it wasn't really a hearth show, but, like, in our. It was.

Jerry Seinfeld
It was a hearth show. Okay, so, like, in our youth, but not to the level, like in our youth, like, when there was three channels and all the new shows were in that issue of TV Guide. Like, the family had a communal experience with television. Don Rickles, you know, we all remember all, like, it was an event when he was on the Tonight show, especially in the summer when we could stay up. The famous one where he threw him in the japanese bath.

Bill Maher
Memories. Getting the massage. I mean, it was. It was amazing, that throw, by the way, that he was able to do that. Why are you saying it was?

Jerry Seinfeld
It was quite a jujitsu that he. Oh, Johnny threw him. Yeah, when Johnny threw him in, Johnny. Was a mean bastard. And like, don't fuck with Johnny.

Bill Maher
I mean, that's the other thing about Johnny was, I mean, he was. He could be terrible to people, but. What everyone at that level is should be terrible to people. No, you don't mean that. I don't mean that.

You're not terrible to people. I'm not. I'm not. But when you hear someone is, I can't believe anybody thinks anything of it. I think there's levels to it, and I don't think everybody is.

I think he was just. He. Especially when he drank. I mean, he just had a really mean side to him. Right.

And, I mean, he could close off. I read that biography by Bushkin, remember? Bombastic Bushkin? And I felt it was so true. I don't know.

It's true, but everything I know about Johnny, and it wasn't kissing his ass and it wasn't covering anything up. You know, he said he was just as cold as that. His mother was, like, very cold to. Him, but in a way, it made it easier to watch him. I can't watch people that want me to fill that need for them.

Jerry Seinfeld
I can't do it. I agree. They're exhausting. I totally agree. Just a bombastic bushkin don't you think that that joke was his intense jealousy of Doctor Vinnie Boombot's Rodney's great doctor?

I think Carson loved that joke so much. He wanted his own. And of course, he would steal when he steal when it suited him. I'm telling you. That's what I mean.

Bill Maher
He was just a badass. He broke into his wife's apartment. You know that. I don't know. That's in the book.

It's like when they were going through the divorce. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, did really badass things. I don't know if that's badass.

Jerry Seinfeld
It's just bad. Yeah, well, I'm just telling you, you didn't fuck around with him. And, yes, I do remember. What'd you say? What did he do that bombastic Bushkin was?

I wish only he was a thief. He loved Doctor Vinny boom bots, but. He stole the answer man from Steve Allen. And he stole lots of Maude Frickard from Winters. Yeah, we know.

It was horrible. And then he would have them on the show. Yeah, well, what they could do. He was the king. Yeah.

Bill Maher
Yeah. No, I'm not saying it was admirable, but I guess, you know, that Persona kind of. He was mister. He was gracious, you know, that was what was Johnny's calling card. But, boy, when that light, red light went off, I don't think he was that guy.

Jerry Seinfeld
Did you have little interactions with him in the hallway, Evan little? Of course. Wasn't that the most exciting thing in the world, when you would see him coming down the hall with the tie down? Didn't have me tell you the story, but when I saw him the last time I did it, and Leno was about to take over, and I'm walking out, and he's in his car. He had, like, a Corvette.

Yeah, the Corvette. And it wouldn't start. And I said, boy, I bet you Leno knows everything about car. I bet you he'd know what to do. Oh, God.

Bill Maher
And he looked up and he went, yeah, we'll see how much he knows about television.

I'm telling you, he was a bad man. Yeah, well, these guys, you know, they're not. It's not a coincidence that they're there. All these guys, whether politically, entertainment industry, corporate world. A lot of people are there for a reason.

I feel like a late night host is always a reflection of the society that we live in. Better than a lot of other signposts. I mean, like, that's why Leno was right for his era, and Johnny was right for his era. And what do we have now? We have Jimmy Kimmel, Stephen Colbert.

Yes. And Jimmy Fallon, I think, are right for their era in that.

Why? Look at this. Here's a. Oh. New breed of stand up comics.

Jerry Seinfeld
What's that? Oh, these are the two articles that were in the New York Times. Am I in any of those? You probably are. Here's Adrian Tulch with a catch a rising star t shirt.

I have a catch a rising star t shirt t shirt that I wear all the time. Still fits. It's a new one because I hear. When you wash them, they make lovely. Hand puppets for the children.

Oh, my God. I know. Calvin Fussman. Calvin Fussman? Who's that?

He's the writer of this ridiculous.

Why are you keeping this? Just because it's comedy in the day? You know what? Every year of my life, I make a file where I just put stuff in because I like to be a good caveman. Like, if I want to go back and excavate and see who I was, that's one good thing.

Bill Maher
I did make so many dumb errors, but that was pretty smart. Like, I saved, like, look at that mad magazine cover. I love that I saw that cover. Aren't you glad I saved this from the Supremes album? No.

Jerry Seinfeld
No. You don't think that's. I wasn't missing that. You don't think that's cool? It's okay.

Bill Maher
Be honest, Jerry. Come on. Come out of your shell. I went through all of my stuff recently, the new breed, and threw out almost all of it. Of course you did.

Cause that's you and I'm me. Because. And I thought. My kids don't care what I did. I even thought that.

Aren't you glad I kept the world fair thing? Yeah. You never know which is gonna be the one, right? I think these are all good. No, some of them are good.

What about this from Richard Belzer? I love that. First of all, it's Daily Planet from the desk of super comic Richard Belzer. Oh, wow. Now, it's a great shot of him, by the way.

It's just too much. When I play the beacon, I always ask the audience. I talk about how I started in New York at a club called catch a rising star. How many of you remember it? And that moment, Bill, it's like about 10% of the audience will applaud.

Jerry Seinfeld
It's a great moment. I just love that. Remember how cool that joint was? So much fun to just share that for a second. But isn't it a little sad that.

Bill Maher
Well. And look what? He wrote a little no to potential tremendously sad. To potentially one of the greats. That's funny, Belzer.

Jerry Seinfeld
That's funny. I think he was talking about himself, but I think it's sad that only 10% of the people were. Well, you know what? Come on. You're right.

Bill Maher
You're right. Let it all go. Let it go.

I do like it. But I must say, bad memories do not make me sad. Good memories make me sad. You know? Bad memories, it's like, great, it's over, right?

Good memories, it's like, shit, we'll never have that again, you know? Right. No, we'll never have anything again. You seem more at peace with that. I am.

Jerry Seinfeld
I am. I know. You know what I came to the other day? Cause I'm going through this thing with the movie, you know, and you're doing a lot of pressure. They're watching the movie and they're responding to it, you know, and I hit me the other morning, an insincere compliment is absolutely of equal value as a totally genuine compliment.

There is no difference in value. They're both utterly meaningless and just as nice. An insincere compliment is just as nice. I don't care if they're lying to my face. It doesn't matter what they think anyway.

Bill Maher
What the fuck are you talking about? This is ridiculous. Like, I gave you a very wonderful compliment, I think, and it came from me, and it's very sincere and it's true about you. That's gotta mean more than an insincere compliment. Not in that situation where you're meeting strangers and they're saying, oh, I loved your movie.

Jerry Seinfeld
Great. That's great. That's just as great. I don't have to know. Really.

Bill Maher
Did you really give me that rabbit thing back? A compliment from you? Who knows me? That's what I'm saying. That's different.

Oh, okay. That's different. I hope so. I'm talking about 90% of the things people tell you in show business are not true and not sincere. Of course.

Jerry Seinfeld
And that's okay. And even. Even when they. I shouldn't even admit this, it makes me sound petty, but I think all show people are the same. Sometimes people will give you a compliment and you still don't like it because it's like, yeah, but you noticed the wrong thing.

Yeah.

Bill Maher
Yeah, yeah. You liked the show, but you thought that was the best part of it. Yes. And it's like, you can't. You can't.

Jerry Seinfeld
Peddie doesn't even describe how small minded, that is. I don't know. Is what's below petty. Whatever that adjective would be. You don't feel.

Bill Maher
You never felt that way? No. Really? No. Take what you like.

Jerry Seinfeld
Whatever you like. What do I care what you like? All right, then why do you keep arguing when I say you're more fun, more mature than you have? I like to argue. I know.

Bill Maher
Good. I don't even believe what I'm taking. Even arguing, but, yeah. No, that's true. I feel like I've evolved a long way.

But I started really far back. Way far back. Yeah, it's true. I didn't. I didn't want to talk about that.

Oh, here, look at this. No. I always thought, this is so funny, all this crap you brought out here. Tell me you're not enjoying this. I'm not.

You said Joe. No, you said to tell me, so I did. Get smart jokes. Look at this. My father was in radio.

Jerry Seinfeld
I know, right? Mutual broadcasting system.

Bill Maher
This is when the media was respected by this country because these were mutual men of.

Jerry Seinfeld
Mutual. So where's your dad? Is he in here? Right here. Look, right here.

Bill Maher
Bill Maher. Your dad. Mutual men of Bill Maher. Of course. Well, that explains a lot.

Jerry Seinfeld
I think we've cracked this case wide open right here. Mutual men of conviction. Isn't that awesome? He doesn't resemble you much. Look, he can't see it.

Bill Maher
It's a drawing. So that's not what he looked like. He did look like that. But, you know, you're very handsome. He looks kind of.

I don't know. Are we looking at him? It's a drawing from this creeps who made this thing. Men of conviction. So were these guys staff announcers, but they weren't journalists.

Well, I think they would consider themselves journalists, Jerry. They had deep voices and they were on the radio. And. Does your dad have a deep voice? You have a deep voice?

Of course. Yeah, of course he did. When he took me to the radio station, you know, once in a while I'd be like. Scared the shit out of me because they all. Hello, young man.

Nell Charbet. I mean, look at some of these names. Whitney Bolton, Charles Bachelder. Bill Costello was good, as was Jack Allen and Martin Edwards. You know, I did a little shtick.

Jerry Seinfeld
We made a couple little video promotion pieces for the movie. And one is where I'm called into the office of the president of Pop Tarts. So I needed a name for who would be the president of Pop Tarts. And we came up with Kelman P. Gasworth.

I've.

Bill Maher
No. He says, I'm Calvin P. Gasworth, the president of Pop Tarts, and I'm sitting at the end of this long conference table, and I go, oh, I just made a whole movie about pop drives. He goes, well, did you know I. Can'T wait to see this movie.

Jerry Seinfeld
It's fun. It comes out on Friday. So it's funny because when I read about this, I thought, it's both you making a movie about pop charts. It's both inscrutable and inevitable.

That is a great line. That's a great line. Really? You were going, and I just want to know before I see it. Or maybe you don't want to say this, then just don't.

Bill Maher
But what is the metaphor? Plainly, it can't just be about Pop Tart. Oh, my gosh. No, no. It's quite a deep story, Bill, but.

It has to be a metaphor for something. You got me. Really? Yeah. What?

Again, we're not like the serial killer and the detective. We're not really like. No, it's. I like important seeming men in suits, like those names you're talking about, puffs and flakes and sprinkles in a very serious way. That, to me, was funny.

Jerry Seinfeld
I like, it's about.

It really is about a childhood fantasy and wanting to hang on to your childhood and that time and that product and to make this movie, I get to go back there. I get to go back to when the only thing I cared about was the stingray and my cereal and the tv shows that I liked, and that was, you know, it was like a little soap bubble that I got to get inside for a few weeks. Yeah. I mean, I have that inclination. But our childhood is now just so long ago.

Yeah. I mean, but the fun of it is still there. I know. So. And with a movie, you get to recreate it.

Bill Maher
But you don't. You don't get to really go there. No, no. But you don't have intimations of mortality. When you dwell on the distant past like that, that it reminds you that you're closer to the end.

Jerry Seinfeld
I'm not that in love with, like, you really love life. Don't you love it? It's okay. Oh, come on now. Your life.

Oh, I. Cause like, when I knew this was your birthday, and I was like, I bet you he's the same place with birthdays that I am. Which is like, I had a big party here, right in this room at 60. You had one at 65 after that. Like, yeah, it's happening, but we don't need to go and do it at all.

Bill Maher
I mean, sometimes people, mine's in January. Sometimes people say to me a couple weeks after, they say, oh, didn't you just have a birthday? And I go, you know, maybe, I don't know. I don't, I might have, I don't, I don't, I didn't check my calendar. I didn't check my calendar, you know, because it's just like it's happening.

It's, I can't deny it, but let's just ignore it. Yeah. It's at a certain point because you'd still look generically late middle age, which is great, you know? You don't read old. No.

Jerry Seinfeld
Neither do you. Like Biden. Yeah, like reads old and Trump reads crazy, but not old, you know? Yeah, okay. He reads, he just reads differently.

Well, he's got a lot of makeup on, you know, a lot. And the hair color and all that. Yeah. I always say he's like, kiss. He puts on the face paint and the wig and it's always 1976.

That is fantastic. That is a great joke. That is a great joke. He's like, kiss. So funny.

Bill Maher
But yeah, so we could probably, I mean, Mick Jagger is doing it at 80, doing rock shows. Okay. No, I'm saying it's amazing. It's amazing. But I'm saying if a guy can do rock and roll at 80, certainly comedy, what do you think you'll be doing at 80?

I hope very similar to what I'm doing now. Really? Yes. I would love to. I only in my sixties came to realize how right my mother was when I, when she once said to me, yeah, I really like my fifties and sixties the best of all the decades.

I said, that's crazy. Sixties? What are you fucking nuts? Yeah, but their sixties is our eighties physically. I mean, I don't have, I don't do anything different now than I did in my forties.

Jerry Seinfeld
I could do any number of shows. I could go exactly right. I haven't made any adjustments. Same way. But I imagine, I mean, there's a diminishment to everything.

Yes. I mean, you know, I can still. Play basketball, but yeah, you know, that's amazing. That's amazing. And, you know, I mean, but yeah.

You, I think you maybe have a little tighter grip on this lifetime than I do. It is what it is. All you can ever be is good for your age. But as far as how far you can go, I feel like I'm, and you are too, for a somewhat different reason, uniquely suited to another decade. Because I never was selling I can dance.

Bill Maher
I can jump around. I was selling wisdom and sophistication. I mean, that's why HBO has been such a good home for me. It's a sophisticated audience. It's a sophisticated show.

I mean, that word. Maybe I'm not putting that on myself, but, yeah, that is what I strive for. And the audience is a sophisticated audience. And there's precious little left for people who are sophisticated. That's a genre.

Jerry Seinfeld
That's a niche, but it's always been a small niche. Yes, always. Yes. That's what I'm saying. You have a much broader, somewhat broader.

Bill Maher
Majorly broader. Another reason why I'm probably not gonna do any more stand up is because, like, first of all, when you're on tv every week, it's very hard for people to come out and, you know, it's harder to get that you're less unique. Right, right. Also, they tend to think I'm a political comic, which is limiting. Oh, right.

So, like, there's guys who are, like, not half as funny as me selling twice as many tickets. I'm a little sick of it. Not that I can't do nice shows in theaters, but I see it's like I am. I've always been fighting a little uphill on those things. Uh huh, uh huh.

Jerry Seinfeld
I see. I think your stand up is my editorial. That's what I want to do till they put me in the grave is every week come up with that one thing. And because it's almost Seinfeldian, because it's building one, very small, limited, but trying to perfectly craft it. And then it's over.

Bill Maher
Next week, there's a new one. And on Monday, I mean, we nailed down the premise before the weekend. And Monday, you know, I read all the passes and put it together, you know, my own version. And then, you know, sew it together. And each day, first it gets fatter, then it gets smaller.

You know, there's a method to it to show you that by Friday, I love it. That would be a vacation that, for me, if you would. If I would just sit with you and not contribute but just watch you do that, that would entertain me more than any trip to anywhere in the world because I think, I don't know how you do it, but the end result is so elegant. And that is what I love and appreciate more than anything. It's simplicity and elegance in writing.

Thank you. Me too. And, of course, getting the job done comedically. Yeah, we gotta do all those three things in the piece. When that is executed.

Jerry Seinfeld
I mean, I just feel full of music. I just love it. And we're so lucky that I do think sometimes I watch great pitchers, great athletes, and I think, oh, this guy's only gonna get twelve years of this to be able to play this music. And I said, huge career for a pitcher, right? But for us, if they told us, you can only do this twelve years, it's ridiculous.

Musicians, does it bother you? You're so. You're very, very sophisticated musically, and you had all those Paul Simon lyrics in your head. Was amazing. But what's your theory?

And I know you have one on why these great, great, great songwriters are not able to find that thing in their later years. Too many drugs? Come on. No, but. Too many drugs, partly.

Bill Maher
But also, I just think it's innate. Music is something that flowers in youth. I mean, don't you think music is sexual? Of course. If you're not horny, you can't write a great song well.

Oh, that's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. Yeah, that's. We could. Not all songs.

Not all songs are about sex. Yes, they are. Everyone. Oh, stop it. But what is your theory on older songwriters struggling to find that same magic?

I couldn't agree more. First of all, it's rare, and I'm not going to name names. No, there are exceptions to that, but they are rare. I thought the Eagles 2007 album was really good. Was like, could fit in.

It was a double album. If you made it into, like, just one kick ass album, it would be fit in there oeuvre pretty well. But there are people that we love desperately, love desperately, that write stuff now. That is, and have for 25 years, not been good. Because part of it, I think, is you get too ahead of the parade.

Like, you always want to be, like, a little ahead of the audience, right? Otherwise you're over, but not so far ahead. They're like, what? And I think sometimes you're so good that, like, oh, I've done that. And this would be different.

It's like, yeah, but I just want to, you know, you gotta hit that sweet spot where it's striking me as something a little different, but not so alien that me, just the young man in the 22nd row, can't appreciate it because I'm not a musician. I could just appreciate what you do. So it's, I guess, the equivalent of being, like, a comics comic who makes the other comics laugh, right? And I always felt like that was what you like. I always felt you had catch.

Like, you always had kind of an attitude about catch. Like, this is a shiny object. Cause it was the hot club, right? Yes. You weren't the man at the hot club.

You were at the comics. The hot club was Belzer, and it was the hot club. Cause that's where the stars went and the celebrities went and the mafia was there, and it was just, you know, singers and bells are. And I think you were just like, okay, enjoy your shiny object because I'm going to just do what I do, which isn't quite as flamboyant as some of this other stuff going on. And I will be the bigger star because I'm going to be on television, which is a cool medium perfectly suited to me.

Jerry Seinfeld
I never. I bet. So I read that on you. Well, you can read it, but I never thought it or felt, but it. Turned out to be true.

Yeah, well, you have an amazing eye for those kinds of things. I just. In those days, Bill, I wasn't. But I just felt like you. The fact that it was ill suited to your exact Persona, it was.

Bill Maher
Was to your credit. Because, again, that wasn't what was gonna make you a star. Jumping around on the piano and all that. Same as the comedy star out here. Stuff that looks great in a small club.

But there are those. You had your eye on the prize. I did. I did. And when I would see those, sometimes they would come to the comic strip and struggle and I would realize, oh, they're out of context and it's not working.

Jerry Seinfeld
And that's not what this game's about. This game is about. Put me in any context and I'll make it work. Right. That's the bigger game to play.

Bill Maher
Yes. You and I had an argument many times about, like, is there such a thing as a bad crowd? Oh, yeah. And I, of course, took the position. Yes.

When they don't like me, they're bad. Yeah. And you took the position again, more mature, goofus and gallant. Always gallant. Believes.

And you're right in. There's no right. It's just. Well, it's just a sport you're playing. It's a better attitude to have that.

Jerry Seinfeld
You know, you were like, but you're also right. Of course there's breadcrumbs. Yes, but you once said, of course they're in a bad mood. Why do you think they're at a comedy club?

Bill Maher
You're the doctor. They don't come to the doctor when they. When they feel well. Right. So that's funny.

It's another piece of advice I remembered and put into practice a mere 17 years later. No, I got around everything. It just some people just takes a long time. Yeah. You know, what about.

Jerry Seinfeld
I mean, everybody's. Who cares? See, this is not why you're not afraid of dying. Everything that comes into your head is, who cares? I mean, don't you feel that changing?

I mean, I'm 70 and I really feel things changing in my perspective. Names I have. Who is this singer? All these things, even politics, even social movements. I'm reading a lot of Marcus Aurelius.

Have you ever read that in college? Absolutely. You should pick it up again. It's really great. Meditations.

Bill Maher
What's it called? Meditations. Right. He was the roman emperor in 100, 8150 AD. And he is a fantastic guy to get you to zoom out and go, all these things you're worried about, all these things that you see happening, they've all happened before.

Jerry Seinfeld
They're all going to happen again. Everything that you're worried about is much smaller than it is that you make it in your head. That's his basic message. And being told that by the emperor of Rome in 150 AD is a very nice daily. I read it almost every day.

I'll read a page or two and I just. I love to imagine him in his bedroom there, the leader of the entire world, an emperor, a roman emperor, and say, yes, you're going to talk to a lot of annoying people today. That's what every day is like. Why are you surprised people are annoying? I like to imagine the peasants of 150 Ad.

Bill Maher
Hey, did you hear the emperor as a new track the treaties out. Great. I can't wait to. Can't wait to pick it up. What's.

He's like the Sam Harris of his day. He had the morning meditation and. Yeah, by the way, if people want to have an image of who Marcus Aurelius is, think of the movie gladiator. Yeah. And he was played by Peter O.

Jerry Seinfeld
I thought it was Joaquin Phoenix. He played the sun, Marcus Aureus, who. Grew up son, who kills his father. Who kills Marcus Aurelius. In the beginning.

Well, not in real life, though. I think he did. No, no, no. He died of natural causes in his fifties. You know a lot about Marcus Aurelius.

I'm kind of into him these days. That's amazing. Yeah. I didn't think I'd ever hear that from you. Why?

Bill Maher
Well, just because you didn't seem like a history buff and that. I'm not really. But I do. I love philosophy and I love his philosophy and I just find it helpful. I like shrinking things down.

Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And you do it better than anybody. I mean, I always say that about you, like, the act that, like, every single person can love, and the most intelligent person in the room is also not insulted by it. Right.

And that's a. I feel like excellence is always getting to that golden meme of, like, the two things that are in opposition, but somehow you bring them together. Right. You know? Well, that's what I'm.

Jerry Seinfeld
I think you might find that in unfrosted, the pop tart movie. It's a silly idea for a movie, but the jokes are silly. But as we know, there are no silly jokes. They're either good or they're not. And you'll find there's a level of sophistication in the silliness that is my ultimate.

When I first saw Monty Python when I was a kid on PBS in the early seventies, I lost my mind. The sophisticated silliness that they were doing absolutely lit me up. Like, this is everything that I want, everything that I love. I think get smart had that. I think Peter Sellers had that.

He's acting dumb, but there is such a sophistication to it. Cause as we know, as comedians, acting dumb is really not, you know, Laurel and Hardy are not stupid. No, no, I wasn't a Stooges guy, but Laurel and Hardy is elegant and sophisticated. You were not a Stooges guy? No, no, I didn't like Mo.

He's. I think he's funny. Curly, he was carrying the whole damn show. But we were five. No, not, I wasn't.

I watched comedians when I was five years old going, this guy's got. Did you watch. Did you watch Officer Joe Bolton? Of course. Okay.

Bill Maher
Didn't he introduce the Three Stooges? Wasn't that his. Yeah, yeah, he had the Stooges. I watched it. And Superman also.

Jerry Seinfeld
No, they didn't have Superman. They had those movie shorts. Superman just stood by itself. Yeah. Yeah.

That was a real serious. Yeah. Oh, I remember. Yeah. And still pretty good, by the way.

I've been watching that lately. To me, George Reeves is the greatest superman of all time. His sophistication and those double breasted suits. It's another reason I wanted to do unfrosted. I wanted to look like George Reeves.

Did you like that Superman show? When they would close the door, I would shake. What? I lived for it, you know, this. Really, when I was a kid, I.

Bill Maher
Remember in high school, I wish I found. I probably have that somewhere in my rat pack file, but we made a list of every episode that we could remember. Like, there was probably 100 episodes. Wow. I remember all the episodes.

We've talked about it. Keborium X. Yeah. I mean, I got to do a commercial with Jack Larson and Noel Neal and I think. Yes, I remember it.

Yes. Yeah. American Express thing. Yeah, I know. Gigantic.

And you're a bit. That was, you know, one of those. One of your first ones. The glasses is a brilliant disguise. It was like, that is so you.

And then somebody else had a great bit about. It's a bird, it's a plane. Who mistakes a bird with a plane? Whose joke is that? I don't know.

Jerry Seinfeld
I heard that. That's a good one, too. Yeah. It's like a perfect example of that bit that it was laying there on the ground. Yeah.

Bill Maher
Anybody could have seen it. Right. I have a Frankenstein bit I'm doing now about the sport jacket. Why is he wearing a sport jacket?

That's great. It's an AI bit. That's a part of an AI bit about making fake brains is risky. We can see that from Frankenstein. Oh, that's funny.

That's a great joke. Yeah, exactly. And he goes, well, I thought maybe we'd go someplace nice afterwards. No, it's Romania in 1820. There's no place nice.

Jerry Seinfeld
No one's gonna say to you, I'm sorry, Mister Stein, it's jackets only this evening. That's hysterical. That's funny. I talk about monsters now with, you know, the toxic masculinity that they're always talking about. And it's true.

Bill Maher
Men are toxic. What are we talking about when you say toxic? And men have been ruined by the phone. Yeah. And pornography, you know, and it's rapey.

It's. It's domineering. It's not, you know, it's just. And this is what young men see. You know, when.

When I was. When we were kids, it was if you had a playboy. Right. That was huge. Yeah.

Now they see horrible things, you know? Yeah. I can imagine. Choking and spanking. Oh, God.

What? What? That's horrible. I know. I mean, what these kids are, when you think about how innocent our childhood was.

Yes. The level of innocence is just like, from a different. What? Yeah, absolutely. And we can't fix it, Bill.

Jerry Seinfeld
They broke the. Why do you think I'm always trying to fix it? I'm just. There's a difference between being. Trying to remedy something and just being amazed by it.

Bill Maher
Like, age fascinates me. And people say, oh, don't worry about it. I'm not worried about it. Oh, I see. I'm fascinated by it.

I'm fascinated by different generations. I'm fascinated by how different the difference is that I can see in my lifetime. Right? I know I said to my mother one time, who passed about ten years ago at the age of 99, and I remember asking her one time, do you remember when cars suddenly became popular? She said, oh, yeah, my mother, when she was born, there was no cars.

Around when my mother was born, women couldn't vote, right? 1919. Women got the vote in 1920, right. I say to my kids, your kids are gonna say to you, you mean they let people just get in cars and go as fast as they wanted? Yeah, for the most part.

Jerry Seinfeld
I mean, there were laws, but people did pretty much whatever they want. My grandma, didn't. They crash and die all the time? Yeah. Well, and children died often.

Bill Maher
They'd get kicked by a horse on the farm. That's why they had a lot of kids. They expected a few of them to. So better or worse, the way we value life today, or the way we were, more casual, much more casual about it in years past, I mean, it's. So easy to say, oh, you know, back, please.

We are so seduced by, and I am as much as anyone, by creature comforts and convenience. Yes. No, I don't. With all the bullshit going on, we live in the most amazing fucking times. Yes.

I mean, the climate change is probably going to get us at some point, but it hasn't yet. We walked out here today. We weren't evaporated by the rays of the sun or something. I mean, we, it was a beautiful day. The grass is green, the sky is blue.

Jerry Seinfeld
I know. It's really not. There's lots of things going on behind the scenes that are horrible, blah, blah, blah. But we're still living in that time where we're basically, you know, yes, healthy certainly can rear its ugly head, and there's lots of poisons everywhere and lots of terrible things. And Trump could do this, and democracy, and blah, blah, blah, nuclear war.

Bill Maher
But for the moment, you know, when I'm sitting at dinner with people and they're like, the world's ending. Look around you, you fuck, you dumbass. We're at this fucking awesome restaurant. They're bringing you this food. It's probably gonna, this dinner's gonna cost dollar 700.

You're not even gonna fucking blink at bang the check. Shut the fuck up about how terrible things is when they're gonna. I'm not gonna lose my nervous system about Trump again. If he ends the world, he's gonna end the world. I'm not gonna fucking go nuts again if he wins another term.

I just can't. Speaker one. I hope you have that wherewithal.

Well, what are you gonna do? I don't know. I'm trying to stay right there. Yes. Get anxious.

Like a millennial. No, it's exactly that. I mean, that generation, especially the z generation.

But your kid. I mean, your kids are great. Thank you. I mean, I think with great parenting, you can still make great kids. Sure.

Jerry Seinfeld
Well, you don't really make them. You have a hand in it. You're like the manager. Yeah, you're the manager. You give them advice, they take it.

They don't take it like the manager. Of a team, they say. A good manager. A good manager. Six to eight games a year.

That's right. You think that's all a parent can do? I have no idea. But wait, you raised three kids. It's mostly what you didn't do wrong.

Really bad stuff. But mostly the way we were raised, you were kind of left to your own devices, and you're in a fairly healthy environment, and hopefully you make decent choices. And the same is true today. I remember that night, you and Chris Rock were in my dressing room before the show, and I asked him something, you guys. Something about, oh, your kids, do they play together?

Bill Maher
You both went, Belle, the wives handle that.

And I got. Okay. I see. Yeah. I have the most amazing wife.

I really know you. I got to a point with my wife now that I can't believe how great she is because I can't really say that. But, you know, I mean, in the single world, it was always. It always runs out of gas. And I found a woman where it never runs out.

Jerry Seinfeld
I'm always excited to see her. That's great. We always have fun. I love talking with her. And it's fun.

It's fun. But again, it's a little bit of luck, or maybe it's instinct, I don't know. But are you an empty nester now? Not yet. My son is finishing high school.

Bill Maher
But you will be. I will be in a few months, yeah. And is that a big changeover? That's what people say, but Justin and I are. We feel we're good, but.

So it must be a. It's gotta be a big difference. Without the sound of children. It is frolicking. But, Bill, all these things.

Jerry Seinfeld
What? I feel like you're going back to, like, thinking that I'm somehow ruing the passage of time, and I'm just remarking, and I'm not fascinated by it. Yeah, I'm fascinated. And I enjoy that. That's over.

And now we're doing this and. Right. Anything else in life. Okay, well, you just characterize what I think about maybe quitting stand up. Okay.

Bill Maher
I've enjoyed it, but maybe that's cool. That's very cool of you to let your mind be that free. That's cool. I mean, I think it's always great to stretch. It is to put yourself out of your mind.

Jerry Seinfeld
Just change the menu. Change. We're doing this now. Yeah, exactly. Right.

Bill Maher
Because, you know, at our age, you know, it's an ageist country. They're always going to try to move you out. I mean, it's the nature of what. Not an odd thing. Nobody cares how old you are.

Well, that's another reason why I would add it to the hopper about me maybe getting out of it. I do think there is a generational element to stand up, because humor is not something that translates through the ages that well. And, like, the humor of today is a lot more about feelings. Nothing more than feelings. And, like, people want to see someone of their own generation.

Jerry Seinfeld
I get it, of course, but they also want to see people that can really do it. I understand that some can and some can't, and irrespective of age or anything. Yes, that's true, too. But you're coming. But you're an icon, you know?

Thank you. I'm gonna be nicer when you give a comment. I need to be nicer. I didn't mean it like that. Okay.

Bill Maher
I just meant. I meant you don't have to. All you have to do is put your name in the paper and it'll sell out. Right. Maybe if I was there, I would still do it.

You know, that would be an element that would influence me. Probably not. I think I'd still make this decision. Right, right. But, yeah, it makes it a lot easier, you know.

I mean, the audience that comes is certainly a great. I mean, look, I love. It's a love affair because anytime they're paying a hard money ticket to see you, you know, they love. They want you to do what you do very specifically, and I just want to do it for them. Right.

So. Well, you know, I'm getting sad, Bill. That this show is almost over. I was. And I.

Jerry Seinfeld
I really was looking forward to this as much as you were. Oh. Because it's you. And I also just love the vibe of this show. Well, and I have one more thing to show you.

Oh, boy. From my thing. This was my father's, how I met. Hollywood's biggest stars by Bill Maher. This is amazing.

What in the world?

What is this? It's some gag gift somebody gave my father in 1960. Whatever. It's great. And it's all chinese folks show and tell with Bill Moore.

Bill Maher
We were so innocent. Yeah, well, as a great man once said, it's so nice when it happens. Bill. Oh, God, Bill, you did it again. Freddie DiCordova, after my first Tonight show, put his arm around me as we walked off the set and he said, it's so nice when it happens.

Good. If you don't know you're in show business at that moment when somebody says something like that. All right, pal. Thank you. Thank you.

This was what I thought it would be. Club random. I'm gonna have this frame and sent to you. Good. Thank you.

Jerry Seinfeld
Yeah. I'm a world's fair obsessive. I didn't know that.

Bill Maher
I didn't know that.

Jerry Seinfeld | Club Random with Bill Maher

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1: Introduction

2: Comedy and Persona

3: Media Evolution

4: Reflections on Fame

5: Closing Thoughts

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