Bill Burr | Club Random with Bill Maher

Bill Maher
Hey, club random fans, guess what I did? I wrote a damn book. It's called what this comedian said will shock you. And it's available for pre order now. Where you get your books or@simonandchuster.com.

Bill Burr
I'm going part time to college. I'm unloading trucks. What am I doing? That is what has made you the guy who sells stadiums, because you do like to, like, pick a fight about anything. I'm one more reference away from taking this mic off and just walking out.

Bill Maher
Random Bill. Hello, William. You're there. Yeah. So we know.

Bill Burr
We're not confused. All right, what's going on, sir? Man of your word. Yeah, I showed up. You showed up.

Bill Maher
You said you would, and you did. That means a lot to me. I appreciate it. Well, the bar is set low, if that's all it is. Like, who doesn't show up?

People. Are you kidding? Show business. That's why I don't have guests. For the most part, I don't have guests because, by the way, I don't want to deal with that.

That is something I also am somewhat in awe of. I couldn't do that. There's some things I can do, I think, at Joe, boost is as good or better than anybody, but then there's things like improv. I couldn't do rap. Rap.

Bill Burr
There you go. Especially right up the dome. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. That blows my mind.

Bill Maher
But also. But just talking straight to the cab, just starting, and it's just you. Rush Limbaugh did it. Yes, he did. And you do it.

But that is a rare skill, my friend, to just go, it's probably some. Personality flaw in the rest of my life, but in that moment, it works. Well, I know a lot of people that would agree with you. Well, I mean, don't you have a childhood that lends itself to humor because of. Who was the Boston comic who used to say he had a bad father like you did?

And he was like, when Bing Crosby's kids were, like, talking about how Bing Crosby was. Remember that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, hey, my dad used to, my dad used to hit us with your father's record.

You know, that was a Boston comic. I forget who it was. Yeah, yeah, that was. But, yeah, you have your fodder, you know, like, all of pain in life is fodder for art, right? Yeah, I mean, I guess that's.

Bill Burr
That's kind of how. It's kind of how it works. I mean, consider class. Look at that. I just.

I used to, when I used to drink. I used to just fill it up till it was above the ice cubes. Well, I used to drink like that too. But, you know, we all have to throttle back. I know.

Bill Maher
As we get older. Those are my. I like that joke that you used to do. Said if you. You don't stop drinking as you get older, you start looking like a Kennedy.

Yeah, but it's not. It's not Ted Kennedy. I mean, he did have that. He had a lot of demons. No, but he had.

Bill Burr
He would've been a hell of a stand up. All the pain that guy had. And then the pain he caused Ted Kennedy. Oh, my God, he would have crushed it. That giant head.

Bill Maher
I know stories about him from, like. Let'S keep it light, huh? What could be? Yeah, you're going to Ted. You can teddy darkness.

Bill Burr
Can I smoke a cigar in here? Of course you can do whatever you want in here. But I dated someone whose mother, like, was someone he visited as a lady. They had a book club.

Bill Maher
What are you defending, by the way? You were very good as Jack Kennedy in the Seinfeld movie. Oh, thank you. That was perfect. I had a great movie.

So good. I loved it. And you know what I have to say? And Jerry was here just a few days ago. I heard terrible things about it, to be honest.

Bill Burr
I don't think younger people. Cause I think younger people didn't know some of the references. I don't think they even saw it yet where that came from. And then I watched it. I was like, wow.

Bill Maher
Not only is the concept so genius, the juxtaposition of the most trivial thing in the world, breakfast cereal with all that stuff that was going on in the sixties, NASA and the cold war, all that. And what's funny is the battle that Kellogg's in post, it's the same battle that people are fighting with army. I loved all of that. I also loved when they went to the grocery store when post and Kellogg's are racing to get their pop tarts there. Did you notice one truck was a Ford, one was a Chevy?

No, I did not. Like, there was a lot of little things in there. Oh, there were for that. But what's funny is treating it as if it was the end of the world. The space.

Yes, that's what was funny. And Khrushchev, that it was important to the Cuba, the cold war, El Sukhra, all that stuff. And the pacing. For a first time director, I thought, I love that about it. That every.

It just moved, you know? Medians make good directors, though. They do like, who else would be in that category? This guy, Bill Burr directed this movie, old dads. Yeah, I saw it.

It was good. You're right. I thought you were gonna say, I didn't think it was that good. No, I didn't know you directed it. My heart just went down like that.

Bill Burr
I was like, oh, God, I just set myself up. I actually didn't know you directed it. I directed it because there was no one available. That's the only reason why I did it, because we were coming out of the pandemic. So all the directors that were gonna shoot something in 2020, whenever the hell it was, they didn't shoot it.

Cause we were quarantined, and then they were, like, two projects behind, so they started pulling that. Like, it's gonna go away. It's gonna go away. You have a big future in filmmaking, very much like Louis AK. But, you know, without the.

Louis just making movies on his own. I know. Did you see that one? I loved it. That 4 July with your list.

Bill Maher
Absolutely fantastic. Don't get me started on that. But isn't it time? Everyone just went, okay, it wasn't a cool thing to do, but it's been long enough. And welcome back to the world, $50 million from them.

Bill Burr
I mean, I think they punished him enough. Enough. Not every. I mean, for Christ's sake, it's not the end of the world. People have done so much more worse things and gotten less.

Bill Maher
There's no rhyme or reason to the me too type punishments. Well, it was like most things, it started off with something everyone could agree on, and then quickly it just spun out of. I remember whenever that cancel culture got to the point of where it was. I don't like some of the topics in your stand up act. Right.

Bill Burr
Yeah, that's when it got weird. But, like, that's all over. It's all over. That's what's over. Cancel culture.

Yeah. No one cares anymore. That's so not true. Either one of them could get canceled in the next two minutes. No.

For what? Well, if you're not doing anything, well, it's just like you did this joke about, you know, this group of people or that group of people, and I've decided to, you know, it's. I don't know. I feel like I'm going back two years of my life. Like, I don't even.

I don't even think about it anymore. Nice ashtray, by the way. Isn't that lovely? Yeah. I never know where I got anything.

Bill Maher
I probably should. Somebody gave this to me. Yeah, that's the kind of thing they used to give you when you retired after a while, a watch and an ashtray. When you think about teeny shaker, when. You think about, like, how much, I don't know.

You probably had similar upbringings. You treasured almost every physical thing you had. Even though it was a hand me down. You had just certain things in your little room. And then as you go through life, so much stuff, and you don't even know where you got all this stuff.

Bill Burr
Well, you know, what about that? What's great about that is there's no upgrade. And everything became, like, disposable. Like, electric cars are, like laptops. Like, after a couple years, like, they're not worth anything because of, like, the technology, which doesn't even make sense.

But, like, same thing with, like, a laptop, with phones, all of that stuff. What do you drive? What do I drive? I'm a truck guy. I got a Ford f 250, and I have an old f 100.

Bill Maher
Really? Why? The same reason. Why does a guy drive a Ferrari down sunset strip and never take it to a racetrack? That's what he's into.

Bill Burr
My Ferrari is I always wanted a Ford f 258 footbed, regular cab. Why you hauling dirt? Is that guy going to the racetrack? Have you ever driven one of those? On a racetrack, you cannot flip them over.

They're unbelievable. The technology and the respect you get for racing, of what they're putting their bodies through. Because I didn't, you know, driving like an asshole. I finally realized that you try to go smooth around the track, not try to just stomp on the gas and slam on the brakes, but, like, I like driving. That's why I like cigars.

I like going slow. Cause my brain goes fast, and there's something about driving a truck. It's slow. It slows me down, and I can think. You like driving?

I love it. Me too. I would hate to be at that stage or for whatever reason, where I had to be driven everywhere, you know? I mean, sometimes you do, like, when we're on the road, probably get picked up by somebody. Right?

Bill Maher
You're not driving yourself in Cincinnati. Right. But there's something. And I see these electric cars now next to me on the highway that. I mean, not like self driving cars.

Bill Burr
That's insane. First of all, can I ask you a question? Why do we need that? I'll never get used to it, is the bottom line is I don't think I will like some things. Look, I don't fight progress.

Bill Maher
I mean, we all love our phones. Come on to put a little computer like that in your pocket, that does so many things. It was. It changed everybody's lives, mostly for the better and some for the worse. When it's done to kids heads, really fuck them up.

Bill Burr
Kids heads. My head. I can't. Like, I stayed off Instagram for a month, and my short term memory got, like, it felt like 30% better. And I realized, like, oh, maybe I'm not getting dementia.

I just think my brain is, like, getting scrambled. Like, the amount of times I'm sitting there going like, put this down. Put it down. Talk to your wife. You're supposed to be watching this movie with her.

And, like, something on tv, I'll be like, is that guy still alive? Or, like, what kind of car is that? And then I'm just fucking. I'm like that. And I miss.

Bill Maher
You're looking up the answer to those questions, which then. And then that leads me. And then I'm just going like, I never saw that movie. Girl interrupted. And I saw it on the Criterion channel.

Bill Burr
I want to watch that. And there's all these great actors in it. I want to see this. So I put it on, and something in there reminded me of one flew over the cuckoo's nest. And I was trying to think of the cast, you know, who was in it?

Danny Devito was in it. Young Danny DeVito and all of that. And I just went down this thing, and all of a sudden it felt like ten minutes. And the credits were rolling, and I was going like, I forget somebody won an Oscar on that movie. And I, like, totally based on it.

Bill Maher
I think that might be the difference in our generations, which is not that. I mean, we're maybe, like, 13 years apart. You're one of my elders, man. I respect you for that. I feel like I'm in the Reagan Mondale diploma.

Bill Burr
No, I just remember when you did my podcast, you kept getting like, I'm not that much older than you. And I'm not. Dude, 13 years is a long fucking time. Well, I think the point I made then, and I'll remake it for you, is that to anyone young who is what we care about in this discussion, because it's like, well, we don't want to lose that audience. Trust me, when you're 25, you and I are the same.

Bill Maher
And I told you this story about. How dare you dress like you paint. Look at you. When Leno and Conan were going through that whole thing that we all remember as comedians so well. Remember the fight for the crown at the Tonight show?

I think it was 2009, and I was with. My girlfriend was 25 at the time, and we were talking about it, and I said, well, you know, it's a big age difference. Leno's 59 and Conan's 46. And she went, yeah, that's the same thing to me. And I always remember that.

So where this. Where are the younger audiences? No, if you and I are just, like, hanging out, talking, but if we go back far enough, you're in dad. If we go back like, that adds ten years. You're married and a dad.

Bill Burr
See, no, it doesn't. Yes, it does. You just hate kids. I do, but, like, having never gotten married, not married, not kid, that definitely closes that gap. Anyway, the point being, I don't like.

How you just made that point and then said anyway really quickly before I could refute it. Anyway. Did you learn that in debating class? I did. Cause you said, anyway, I'm gonna roll with that.

No, well, I mean, you gotta play. No, but it's like. I mean, you're like pre stand up spotlight, you know, as far as, like, you know. What does that mean? I mean, that's just.

I mean, you were like, comedy on the road, evening at the improv. I mean, that. Yeah, that's a whole different generation than mine. The point I was gonna make is that this, to me, says two different generations. Like, I don't think many people from my generation ever have what you just described.

Bill Maher
This addiction to social media going down rabbit holes. The attention span issue here where you. You're watching something, but it makes you think of something else, and then you go to that. Just what you were just telling me. Yeah.

That's, like, very alien to me. One of the best things you did for society is you didn't have kids. Well, you know, thank you. I know you meant that in a snarky way. No, no, but I.

Bill Burr
No, we know we need more people like you. We do. That can just admit that I don't want to deal with this shit. The worst thing is, is when a person who doesn't want to have kids has kids. Cause they think they're supposed to do it, and then they fucking don't like them.

And then that kid has to spend their whole life without that love, and then they meet my kid, and then they're a fucking asshole to him. Right. That's what ends. Or they met us or whatever. So, like, has that happened?

You've had kids. Your kids have had to encounter kids who you thought were shitty kids because of the parents being shitty. Well, that's one of my favorite things that they say, like, when they go, you know what kids are mean. Always say to him. I always say, yeah, you know who makes kids?

God. So stop, like, worshiping this guy every fucking Sunday. He makes mean kids who say shit to other kids who name he makes. He makes people who don't want to have kids, who end up having kids. And then those kids don't get love.

And then they go to school and they're fucking mean, and they say stuff to kids, they carry it for the rest of their lives. Like, if anything I can instill with my kids is like. Like, the attribute I have as a father is I remember what it was like to be a kid. So one of the big things is when in the morning time when my kids are getting dressed and my wife picks out the clothes, if they're like, I don't like this shirt, I'm like, wear one that you like, because if you go to school with, I don't like my shirt energy, your shoulders are gonna be slumped, and then they're coming at you. I want you liking your shirt.

Let's start your day liking what you're wearing. I wish I had someone to tell me that. Most of my schooling, I would say most. I went to school with a knot in my stomach. Yeah, you got picked on.

Bill Maher
Because even if I wasn't, it was always the potential. And sometimes I was. It just never felt right to me. If you're a control freak, which I kind of am, childhood is a kind of torture, because you just do not have control yet. I got happier as I got older.

Cause I got more control. I don't need the control. You know what night? I remember the first night when I moved out and I was on my own, and I remember just being out and having nobody to answer to when I got home, and I was just like, this is fucking amazing. It's an exhilarating feeling.

Yeah, it is. But then what you quickly realize is you have to become your own parent, which you have to tell yourself it's time to go to bed. Or maybe you're drinking too much or something like that. Because I saw, right. You know, you see, you watch people mess up, not just show business, but just careers in general, because they can't.

Bill Burr
Like, I feel like the people that had the most overbearing parents a lot of times. Like, just that feeling when they finally move out of freedom, it's like, literally, I can't. It's. I think it's too much for them. Yes, it is.

Bill Maher
You know what it is? It's Morgan Freeman. No, who's the other guy in Shawshank redemption? Who? Tim Robbins?

Yeah, but no, the guy who. He gets out of prison and the old guy can't handle it because he's so used to prison, and now he's like, he's working at the supermarket, and he says, can I take a pee, boss? And they say, you don't have to ask every time. Just take a pee. You know, and he can't hack it.

There is something to that. I mean, the mind is a strange place. I feel like people that watch 24 hours news networks get institutionalized to blame colors of ties rather than the corporations behind them, and they will just sit there convinced that, you know, Trump is the worst thing that happened to this country or Biden is the worst thing that happened to this country. And it's just like, you know, you might want to just kind of push through that veil a little bit further. Yeah.

Bill Burr
And so I kind of have this thing, like, when I get around, like, the 24 hours news zombies, I just. Jesus Christ, was that geritol?

Nobody. Nobody under the age of 50 got that one. Remember that? I was on the Lawrence welk show. He used to pedal the geriato to my point.

Bill Maher
The 25 year old is watching this going, look at these two old guys. They're not going, oh, the guy with cigars, 13 years younger. I know, but you have to go all the way down to 25 to appear my age.

Well, I don't know. You can see. Look at the difference. Look at the difference. You can just see the way we dress.

Bill Burr
We're not different people. This is like, you come from the slacks generation. Like, slacks were still a thing. These are not a thing. No, but slacks were a thing.

Bill Maher
No, I look good. That's the difference, is that you were wearing sneakers. You can throw that in my face. You got a t shirt on. Like I.

Bill Burr
You look like a fucking defendant. Look like you're trying to beat a drinking and driving charge. He doesn't have any priors, your honor. Look at him. He's wearing his Chelsea boots.

He's. He's a fucking, what do they call it? A productive member of society. He needs his car for work. I think that this should be a suspension, not a.

Not a full on.

Bill Maher
That's good. You ever get busted for that? What, drinking and driving? Yes. I had a DUI in 92.

It was a nightmare. Could have wrecked my life, because it was just as I was starting politically incorrect, and I had to get a special dispensation from the court to interrupt my 14 week corrective program that you have to go to when you get it to UI. And if he. If they were killed, to watch you. In that classroom, having lost all that control.

Bill Burr
Oh, and just having to sit there in that. Well, everybody who got a DUI, I mean, it was just a cross section of society. We weren't criminals. We were just like, people, just douchebag millennials coming home from club and we had one too many and were driving too fast. When I was stopped, I happened to be wearing leopard print shoes.

Bill Maher
Now, if you think I wasn't gonna get a ticket that night, and, you. Know, I wanna hear why, what sort of party were you going to? Well, that seemed like it wasn't a party. It was 1992. I had just done a sitcom, and it was wardrobe from the sitcom I had.

I guess we thought, you know what? Don't ask me about clothes. I'm sure you wore also ridiculous things in the day. No, I did, but I didn't like leopard print. Was always like, leopard.

Bill Burr
That was always. For that woman of a certain age that wanted, you know, one more lap around the block. She'd go to a local watering hole and she'd wear her leopard print blouse. Well, I'm sure some cool people have worn leopard print in the past. I'm sure I could find pictures of rock stars.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, so they can wear anything anyway. Not Bill Maher reading the New York Times, driving around, fucking leopard print shoes. You know what I really resented? And, I mean, they were hard.

Bill Maher
If you. If you were, if you missed a meeting or if you were late by even 1 minute, you had to repeat the whole program. You had to go to six AA meetings, which I really resented because I was a little over the limit, but I was not. Doesn't mean I was an alcoholic. So I had to go to these meetings, and we would go around the room and everybody would say, hi, I'm Phil, I'm an alcoholic.

I'm Bob. I'm an alcoholic. I wouldn't say it. I just wouldn't. I'm like, hi, I'm Bill.

I'm not an alcoholic. They made me come to this class. That's great. They just said that? Yeah, no, and this thing.

Bill Burr
Alcoholics are cool. Like, they would be like, all right, I get it. Yeah, absolutely. I'm not the only one in there like that. And I also, that, like, part of being an alcoholic is drunk drivers passing through your classes in groups of them.

Yeah, I got busted in 89. So if you got this DUI that. Was like a part of growing up. That's all you did was drive drunk. And the thing about it is, there was no uber back then, so you just kind of had to, like, we were all idiots, and we didn't understand that we could kill somebody.

Even in Malaysia, they dragged the wreckage there. You just had that young, stupid brain, like, it's not gonna happen to me. So that would end up being. That was, like, the best thing that happened to me. Cause that happened when I was 21, and I was already starting to feel, like, 21 felt old to me then.

And I was like, what am I doing? You know, I'm going part time to college. I'm unloading trucks, and I'm getting shit faced, and I'm broke every Thursday waiting for my check. What am I doing? I see.

How long can I do this? That is what has made you the guy who sells stadiums, which is very, very few comics. I know, but you played the size and audience that very, very, very few comics do or ever get to do. Not that many wouldn't even want to, but they don't even get the option. But it all comes from, you are an everyman.

Bill Maher
Every crate you lifted, all that stuff they see in you, which. And you're, of course, very funny and great at your craft, but, like, there is a emotional connection that they have to you. Well, you know what? It is a very valuable thing. I think that where I grew up, though, is another thing.

Bill Burr
Cause I've grown up. I'm trying. Like, I have a hard time thinking of people in my life. All my childhood friends, everybody I worked with, every place I worked, everybody was funny. There's a weird thing about.

Bill Maher
Really. Oh, my God, dude, there was. Isn't it funny? Dude, there's guys I went to high school with. I'm still not as funny as they were.

Bill Burr
And the thing about it was, what made them even funnier was they weren't trying to be funny. Well, they must be really pissed off. Because they're still carrying the crates. They just had good childhoods. They had cool parents, and, like, they were happy, and they.

Bill Maher
You said they're funnier than you. I mean, as far as I remember, like, they. You know, like, some of the guys that I can't even explain, like, they. They were. They difference.

Bill Burr
Like, I tell the story, they were the story. Like, these guys, they would. They would get into a fucking fist fight. They didn't care where they were. And I always, like, just looked at them.

They were like. They were free. I just thought, like, I would be like, because they were kids. Because when we're kids, everything's funny. Everybody seems funny.

Bill Maher
You're just. You're just filled with so much extra energy. And part of it you expend just giggling and laughing if you're in a good mood and you're not when you're not. No, these guys were fucking funny. I don't think so.

Bill Burr
I remember one of them. I remember it. No, I had a buddy of mine, he fucking, you know, all my friends gambled. He was losing so much fucking money on the Houston Rockets. He kept doubling down, thinking that they were going to win, and they kept losing games.

They had these great players. And he literally called long distance information. Not joking. He said, in Houston, last name Elijah one. And he didn't say he was going to do it.

He went up and did it, and we just looked over and we just started fucking. He was high, but he literally thought that he was going to get Akeem Elijah on the phone and he was going to read him the riot act, the way he played that night. Like, I'm talking about that shit. Like, I would have done that as the joke, just so everyone would hear it. He did it dead serious.

I'm talking about guys that would go in to get their hair cut, and they had a fucking joint behind their hair, and they would comb out their hair and it would fault. Like, they were fucking hilarious, and they weren't trying to be. Just how they lived their lives was fucking hilarious. By the way, that was the same guy. My friends are watching us.

I know he's talking about the same guy did both of us. I guess I'm less of a fan of practical jokes than many others are. I guess I'm more a verbal, but, you know, like, I've. There was no practical joke in there. That was a guy.

That was. When you actually do it, he was. Speaking from his heart. No, the Elijah. One thing.

Bill Maher
I mean, to do that, he, like. Legit thought he was gonna get him on the phone. I understand. To me, that's a practical joke. It's practical.

Bill Burr
I thought a practical joke is if I stick a bucket of water above a door and you open it and it gets you all wet. That's another kind. Then I go au guh with a horn. I mean, like, you always hear these stories about how George Clooney and some of these big stars, they, like, they're practical jokers. Like, on one movie, I forget he did with Matt Damon.

Bill Maher
And every day he had the wardrobe department take out his pants just a little bit. Take in his pants so that he thought he was getting fat when he really wasn't because the pants would not fit. Yeah, it's a fucking. I mean, that's a joke. That's like a fucking nightmare.

Bill Burr
Here's another thing, too, for young actors when you go to wardrobe, because they wear the same pants. Like, I don't give a fuck what it says on the sides. It's not that size. They either let it out or let it in. And I used to just go in like I'm a fucking 34.

Like, what is going on? Am I retaining water? What's going on? And it really gets in your head and you start eating, like, salads and shit, you know, and it's just like. What is your regimen?

Bill Maher
I'm very curious. Like, your health regimen? How much do you care about what you eat? No, I do. I don't fuck with desserts.

Bill Burr
I don't eat bread. And I've laid off, like, sugar and stuff. I had a little bit of a relapse. But, like, when you get to be my age, you're not gonna go to the gym and burn it off. What's gonna happen is your joints are gonna wear out before the donut does.

So just stop eating the fucking donut. So I just try to, like, maintain. That's exactly. And I keep my shirt on. I'm not one of these testosterone fucking HGH guys.

What do you think the price of that's gonna be? Because you can't have your cake and eat it. You can't get your frat boy yoked body back. At a certain age, you can look good in clothes. Yes.

Bill Maher
Okay. And you just have to accept that. And luckily, women accept that. Most women, it's very, very rare. That's very forgiving.

Bill Burr
I also think they like, if you're a little bit out of shape. Cause it gives them some leeway. Well, you keep telling yourself that they don't like that. But I'm not telling myself that. I'm telling you that.

Bill Maher
Okay. Who. That's. I just don't think that's true. But that's how you say it.

But they are much more forgiving of that than men are. You know the old saying, men fall in love through their eyes. Women fall in love through their ears. We are. It's just somebody selling books.

No, there is truth in that. Are you kidding? There is absolute truth in that. Women can be. What that's.

Bill Burr
That, to me, is when you're younger, when you get older and you actually wanna get married, what you're looking for is a good person. And at that point, I feel like men and women, it kinda levels out. And at that point, you realize, all right, I got some baggage. You got some. Can I deal with your bullshit?

You know what I mean? There has to be that initial attraction and all of that. But it really comes down to that, like, you know what got me? My wife is gorgeous, but what really got me, like, going, who is this person? I remember we were hanging out.

I had a sofa that folded down into a futon when I first met her. And we were watching tv, and somehow we were talking about dogs, and she started imitating a dog, going, whoa, whoa, whoa. And she just threw herself into it. And it was fucking adorable. And there was, like, a freedom of the way she did it.

And that's the second time I brought that up when I used to watch my friends just get into fights, the freedom of it. Cause I lived in such an oppressive fucking kind of thing, control freak thing that I was really attracted to that. And, like, I was still, as a performer, trying to free myself up on stage. And I just saw. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

And I just thought. And just seeing this other side of her that, you know, like, there's this whole stereotype that beautiful women aren't funny. My wife is fucking hilarious. So it was kind of this. And then I got in a car with her one time, and she puts on, like, steely Dan, I'm in Harlem, okay?

African american woman, and she pops in steely Dan. Like, the fucking levels. I was just going like, who is this person? And there was beyond anything that I had met. So that's how I didn't be like, oh, look, you know, nice tits.

It wasn't that. It was like, this person is like. Was this the first black girl you ever went with? I was equal opportunity. So, no, I kind of.

I dated them all. I had a good time in New York, put it that way. I had a good time. You lived in New York? Well, I firstly, initially, I lived my shutdown years.

The cold war, emotionally, for me, was growing up in Massachusetts. And then when I went down to New York and I finally had moved out and everything, and finally got through college, I went down there and I. That's where you went after college? New York. I stayed home and paid off my college.

I paid off my college debt, and one of my buddies gave me some money. Cause, you know, we had a big family, so, I mean, you kind of had to, like, work your way through college. So I had to pay that off. And then going to New York scared the shit out of me. So I had a day job and I was doing stand up and I was, and I was driving this piece of shit car from high school.

I put a new engine in it so I wouldn't take on the debt. And I saved up. Like, I had like, ten grand. And then I just went down to New York, you know, and I was going like, all right, I gotta get a day job. And somehow that morphed into, I need to get more gigs.

And I never got a day job. And I had just a couple of acting gigs that padded me enough. Then I got an agent, and then I've been like, I haven't had a day job since 95, which is so cool to me. We are so fortunate. I always say, I hope there's not reincarnation because I'm not going to pull a better life.

No. And I know that. I mean, I know that sounds crazy to some people. Like, and maybe it's not. Maybe it is crazy because maybe some people live lives that we have no idea about.

Bill Maher
And it's really great to be an accountant. No, but the thing is, if it could be. But some people, that's their passion. So for them, that's not right. That's not working.

Bill Burr
Or managing people's money or construction or whatever. People like building stuff or whatever. I think the big thing that everybody would like is to do a job that they love and work for themselves. That's kind of the best. The idea that we're working now is a joke.

Bill Maher
We are working. It's literally a joke, but we are working. This is our job. Oh, man, I love radioactive media so much that I've practically burned through my entire wardrobe talking about how much I love radioactive media. Don't let your business be reliant on just luck.

Do something to drive new sales and acquire new customers. By partnering with shows like mine, you can elevate your brand in an intimate space away from your competition while generating up to nine times more leads by combining the power of audio and video channels with text messaging and generate an ROI as high as five, six, or seven to one. The best way to achieve these goals is through the team at radioactive media. Club random has been partnering with radioactive media since the beginning, and they can create a customizable campaign for your company's needs. Radioactive Media has an exclusive deal to promote your product or service on club random with me and save up to 50%.

Just lock in your first campaign this year to find out all the details and receive a few club random goodies thrown in. Contact radioactive media don't leave your marketing to luck. Go to radioactivemedia.com or text the word random to 511. 511 text random to 511. Five one one today to save up to 50% in 2024 terms.

Conditions, message and data rates may apply. Hi, it's me, Bill, that guy from the podcast you are currently watching. And I'm here to tell you about the greatest clothing brand, Roan. Roan's commuter collection is effortlessly stylish and comfortable. It works for me all day, whether I'm pouring over my real time editorials, shooting hoops, or feeding my ducks.

This is what I'm saying. That's proof that the commuter collection works all day for you in any and every situation before, during and after work. And now I'm going to wear a different shirt. For the call to action wardrobe change, head to roan.com random and use promo code random to save 20% off your entire order. When you head to rhone.com random and use code random, it's time to find your corner office comfort.

May 18 I'll be at the Borgata Hotel casino and spa in Atlantic City, New Jersey. May 19 at the Palace Theater in Albany. June 1 at Spotlight 29 showroom in Coachella, California. Now why can't we just say people are different? Especially you can't say that.

Bill Burr
And you just said it. And nothing's gonna. There's nothing going to be, but we should say it. We're just different when it comes to how we. What we want, how we relate to.

No, that's true. Cause I'll tell you this, some people. Aren'T even heterosexual, believe it or not. Here's one. They're gay and trans.

And that ever since, that has gone, like, mainstream. Like when we were growing up, it was like, you're either gay or straight. That was it. You didn't realize there was this whole fucking, this whole, there's like a whole. Here's the thing going on there.

Bill Maher
There's another difference in generations. When I was growing up, it wasn't even gay. It wasn't even there. I don't remember that coming up in high school at all. And trans, I never even heard of in high school.

Bill Burr
I saw this great comedy. There's another thing to why you should scroll is the level of comedy by regular people. The comments that they leave on this show. Oh my God. I agree with that.

They're fucking amazing. They are. They can. Yeah. So someone was.

They showed this clip of Liberace. And it was that weird period where rock and roll rock had taken over, and there was these older acts trying to be hip, so they were doing their swing versions of, like, these rock songs. So I forget what Liberace was singing, but the way he was dressed and just, like, just running around like that. And this guy wrote in the comments, he said. He said, when I was younger, my dad described Liberace as an eccentric old man.

Bill Maher
Yeah. You weren't gay. He's a little eccentric. He worded it better. But, like, all his homosexuality was filed under eccentric.

And it's just like. Well, they've had many, many euphemisms for gay. You couldn't say that in Hollywood. For example, the director, George Cukard was. Everyone in town knew he was gay.

Bill Burr
Was Cue card. Cue. No, cue George. Cue card. C u k o r.

Bill Maher
You never heard of him? No. Phyllis was his brother, Billy. Boom Mike. What?

I don't know. Cue card. It's like, all, like, what? The Q Caruecard, not cue card. All right.

Anyway, he was known as a woman's director. They couldn't say gay. That was the confirmed bachelor. That's another one. That was another one.

Yes. A confirmed, confirmed bachelor. I actually. Out of all this shit, like, homophobia is gonna be the dumbest. It's just how somebody is born, and I don't understand why anybody gives a fuck.

Bill Burr
But it's true, though. You didn't like that? It is true. I'm just saying it sounds like I. Deserve that a little bit.

But I don't understand, like, why all of these people? Well, religion, right? That's what gets everybody going. Yes. And I certainly made my bones with that subject, so I'm glad we're on the same page there.

I am 100% on the same page. I'm not saying that there's not something out there, but it doesn't give a fuck about us, or it wouldn't have set this thing up the way it is. Where. That's a good way to put it. Where sociopaths seem to just fall up the stairs to success, and then these fucking nerds make all their dreams come true.

Whatever weaponry or robot they want to make them. No. Justice on earth is like an award show. It's just random.

Yeah. And it gets dark. That does get dark. Thought that we're just let that sit there. Yep.

Bill Maher
But, well, you're a great star. Well, here's something I'll tell you about great. Being a parent is all the highs I've had as a comedian. There was no bigger high than teaching my daughter how to ride a bicycle. That day I let go when she took off was fucking amazing.

What do your kids think of daddy? Big star and, like, daddy playing these arenas? They don't really know. My daughter said to me, she's only like, she knows now, but when she was, like, five, she said to me, she goes, dad, how come everybody knows who you are? And I just go, I'm old.

Bill Burr
I've met a lot of people. I don't have, like, pictures of me, you know, doing stand up in my house. I'm just totally like, you lied to the child. You lied to a child. Well, she didn't say, are you a comedian?

And I said, no, I just don't bring that home. I'm dead. I don't want to be a comedian in my house. But they're going to notice. Yeah, they're gone.

But I'm not embarrassed of my job. Not embarrassed, but I know. Come home and be like, hey, you know, I made bonus this weekend in the improv. They had to add a show for dad. Like, I would never do that.

And also, like, I, like, I understand that I chose to be in this business, and they didn't. If they want to get in the business, I think it's a great business to be in. No, no. Better or worse than any other business. And it's just like, if you want to get into it, get into it, but don't.

I'm not going to be like, but there are stage mom. There are positives and negatives, but it's. It's. It's undeniably a variable in a kid's upbringing when their father is. Has fame and a great success.

Bill Maher
I mean, that's not the experience of kids. Most kids now, there's many ways you can handle it. I mean, we see a lot of Nepo babies. We see a lot of. I love that Nepo baby.

Bill Burr
Everybody's a Nepo baby. No, they're not. Yeah, they are. If your dad's a dentist and you become a dentist. Now, I don't give you credit for being a dentist because your dad was filling teeth.

Bill Maher
What a dumb analogy. Why? Because we're talking about Nepo and we're talking about in. You are? I am.

Bill Burr
That's what you're talking about. No, it's that thing where they go, like, I've been doing this bidder ball. They talk about Hollywood pedophilia. Like it's not everywhere. Like, the Catholic Church has to be on the fucking Mount Rushmore.

Of that shit, of course. And the Hollywood pedophilia exposed, and it's just like, did you watch to catch a predator that was never in Hollywood? Plenty of people coming up that driveway. Yeah, no one's denying that. No one ever denies.

All right, well, then, Nepo baby. Your dad has a construction company. You take it over. Does somebody call him a Nepo baby? No, it just becomes, you know, Sanford and son.

Bill Maher
Yeah, but it's a little more pronounced when it's in the arts because you. Have this, I hate that word. Why pronounced Jesus Christ? Cause that's like a ped. You know what it was?

Bill Burr
That was like a ped for your fucking point. Your wife, it's a little more pronounced. Your wife must be a saint because, like, boy. Cause you're such a victim right now. No, because you do like to, like, pick a fight about anything.

You just said I was stupid. Well, that's. You just came at me. That's a completely different subject. You know, I just like arguing with you.

I like arguing with you. Are you kidding? It's like sparring with Muhammad Ali more. Who was the guy, who was the white guy back then? Trevor Bobbick?

No, no, no, no. Oh, my God. Wepner before Tex Cobb. It was Wepner who was the bleed, the bayone bleeder.

I'm going to remember his name when I get out of here. So, Bill, where are you playing if someone wanted to see you do stand up? Oh, coming up. I am at, I'm in the Bellco Theater, Denver, Colorado, on June 5 and 6th, the 8th, I'm at the Greek Theater in Berkeley, California, with all your libtard friends. June 9.

I love how libtard doesn't even make, it doesn't even make sense. It's like moron came up with it. I hate bad things, like, come up with something better than that. June 19, 20th, 21st, 22nd, I'm at the San Jose Civic center in San Jose, and then at the end of the month at the Moore theater in Seattle. Four nights, and I'm going to be taping my next special.

Bill Maher
Four nights? Yep. How many nights in a row can you do without being too tired to go on? Can you do, like, every night in a row for a while? That's more like I miss my kids after a while.

But you don't mind doing the show every night in a row? No, I mean two shows. At my age, I can get a. Little like, you do two shows in one night. No, I don't.

Bill Burr
I try not to. That's crazy. I agree. I try. That's a young man's game.

Bill Maher
It is. I did enough of those. And these, these kids, like, coming up. I imagine those gigs still exist. Remember the Tuesday through Sunday, two Friday through Saturday?

I certainly lived it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And you were just, you were in Portland, Oregon. And you were in Seattle, and you were in, boy, you were just there.

Bill Burr
You were just fucking there. And it was like, it just. And the hardest show of the week is the second show, Saturday, knowing you still have one more to go. I did three shows sometimes. That's what I'm saying.

Three shows Saturday. Oh, I mean, put the middle show, the first show, you just have no hope. Cause you got three and the last one's the last one, so that's cool. The second one, knowing you gotta do your bullshit act again, right. Going, oh, my God.

In the third show, you know, they're not throwing anybody out. Cause no one's really showing up, so they, they gotta sell their booze. So you had to basically throw a knife at the comic and they'd be, hey, hey, settle down, settle down. I mean, but that's how you get good, though. And that's how you.

I always hated too. Like, I don't know. Then once you got through the Saturday, that was like, okay, I'm done. And then you had to sit around the whole fucking day to do one more fucking gig on Sunday. I don't know if that made me better, honestly.

Bill Maher
That kind of bullshit. But made you tough, right? It made me tough. That's right. It actually didn't make the act better.

I remember doing those nights, even with two shows, but especially with three, where you were just petrified I was, that I would forget where I was. Every comic knows this nightmare and say the same joke because you thought you hadn't said it yet, but you said it in the first show, so now you've said the same joke in the second show, and the audience looks at you like, oh, wow. What? I would just always ask them, going, have I told this one yet? I've done three shows.

Bill Burr
I don't even know where I am right now. And I would just say that. And then they would laugh. And then even if I did repeat a joke, they thought it was funny because they think you're just up there and you got the whole thing together. It's just like, no, this is just like when you're at work and you don't know what's going on and you're just kind of faking it.

Like, that's what I'm doing right now. So I think that's another thing that, like, you know, that's actually, in a weird way, it's a way to bond with the crowd. Like, all right, this guy's fucking up at work right now. I can relate to this. Wow.

Bill Maher
I must say, I've never explored that avenue of dealing with it. But I haven't done two shows in. But isn't, like, page one. I always thought page one in comedy, when you learn that it's addressing. I mean, I remember it happening situation once.

I remember where I was. It was so traumatic. It was Sacramento. It was December. It was 1983, Sacramento.

Bill Burr
When nobody knows who you are, that's a tough time to do stand up. Rough and said the same joke. And I just. I don't remember any of the sympathy from the audience that you describe. I guess when you're a star and you do, how many of you own up to it?

No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about it. No. When nobody knows, there's, like, this dead silence where there was laughter at your other jokes. So you're just like, oh, my God.

Bill Maher
It's like when you stick a pin in your leg and it's numb there. No, but if you just said, like, I already told that joke, didn't I? Then they would have laughed. You're like, oh, my God, I'm a fucking idiot. This is my third show.

Bill Burr
And that would have been funny. Yeah, but I was young, and I don't know. I just think it's gauche. But, yeah, go again with the big words. What does gauche mean?

I've heard the word. It means great in French. Gaucho.

Menu, feet. Do you remember when you were on. Real dark, say menu, fique monsieur. That's, you know, you're in the highlight reel. Soup.

Bill Maher
You're in the highlight reel because you're on the panel. We're in the guest chair on real time, but with the panel. And you say, um, I don't know what I'm doing on this show. I feel like I didn't study for the test. Oh, God.

Bill Burr
Yeah. I still don't know why you booked me on that show. Because you were in the celebrity spot and because you're a very bright guy. You play this character of the blue collar regular guy, but you're obviously very, very smart in a bar. It's a.

Bill Maher
In a. No. No. You know what's really smart? No.

Bill Burr
Do you know what's really smart? The people they write books about, those are really smart people. Well, that's definitely on a level above us. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm just comparing me to, like, your friends who you think are so funny.

Bill Maher
No, I'm kidding. You just want to defend these friends so bad. Where are they? You know what I describe the friends of me. What do they do?

Andy and Bill, Bob. What do they do? Where are they? What do you mean, what do they do? Where are they?

Bill Burr
Regular jobs, right? Like, I'm not gonna get into their fucking lives, but everything that you would look down your fucking nose. Your kids play together still? Yeah. Your kids play with their kids?

Bill Maher
That must be a satisfying feeling. I think you said my kids play with each, like, together with their kids. Well, they live back east, and I also started late, so their kids are grown up. Oh, well, that would be. Would be.

Bill Burr
Yeah, that would be inappropriate. Yeah. So they just tell me, like, it's the greatest thing and just, you know, enjoy every second of it. Cause it's gonna fly by or whatever. And I've let go a lot of that.

That whole fucking enjoy every second of it. It's like, the reason why you feel, I think, when you get older as a parent, that you didn't enjoy it enough is because of the responsibility to make a functioning, empathetic human being. So you can't fucking enjoy it because you're waiting for whatever other shoe is gonna drop. And, you know, you still have that attitude. Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest with you.

I don't listen to any parent that comes at me with some negative shit. I just go like, well, you obviously fucked the job up, you know? And then also there's, like, this thing that parents have that once they have kids, they become these all knowing beings because. And they know more than you. Cause their kids are older.

And it's like, that doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any fucking sense. There's like, I remember when. When I thought for a minute I was playing drums, I was like, well, maybe this is what I'm gonna do. Because I didn't want to have a real job.

So I was playing drums, but every time I go to the music store, I would see some, like, eight year old kid go in there and he just had it and he was already expressing himself. Or she was on the drums. And I just remembered, like, you know, I don't even know what the fuck my point is at this. Just. Well, but I couldn't go up to that kid and be like, well, I've.

Bill Maher
Been paying longer than you. And let me tell you something. I was like, no, you're better at this shit. You're already better at this shit than I am parenting. It could be like that.

Bill Burr
I could be better than you. So maybe what you're telling me, well, is like, how do I know you don't suck at this fucking job? But that had it. You have to be born with it, because show business is so competitive that unless you have a great amount of the innate ability, whether you're a comic or a drummer or whatever it is, even then you may not get to the top or close to the top, because there are people who will have a lot of innate ability, but then their fucking demons fuck them up. Yeah.

Self sabotage. They're not good at the business. Right? Not good at the business. Cause what I experienced, the hardest thing I experienced when I was coming up was watching people that were good at the business and I wasn't and watching them pass me, whatever that even means.

But when you're young, you think, this person is passing me. Totally. They're on Comedy Central. I haven't gone on Comedy Central. Must be doing something wrong.

Bill Maher
Exactly. And, you know, I gotta do. What are they doing? Oh, they have a fucking website. I gotta get a website, right?

Bill Burr
And, like, people think that shit. Like, I remember. I remember when. When. When Dane did all of that shit on fucking on.

Was it MySpace back then? All of these comics were like, I'm gonna get on MySpace, and then I'm gonna sell tickets like that. And they did. It's like, that worked for him. You're right.

You know? So it's just like, you. You kind of, after a while, once you reach a level maturity, like, fuck this. I'm doing what I'm doing. And wherever this takes me, this takes me.

And I have to be okay with that because there's some people out there that are just like, you know, like, if you're in a band, you're never. If you're in a band, that's like a band, right? And you're really writing what you want to write. You're never going to sell more records than a fucking pop star. Whatever downloads, whatever it is.

And you have to be all right with that. You have to be all right with that. There's going to be these pop stars coming through that are just going to. And they have. And they have that megawatt, like, electrifying thing and all the girls love him and everything.

That was not me. That was not that good. That's not comedy. That's music. No, but that happens in comedy.

Bill Maher
There's that rarely. Eddie Murphy, Russell Brand. Dane had it. Matt Rife has it. Those guys, they have that in the factory where it's like, okay, but this is the conversation.

Bill Burr
If my cigar goes out, buddy. Think of how many comics that is over 40 years. You know, it's not. It's not a common thing. Yeah, but that's like a special thing.

Joe Coy, I worked with that guy one time, man. That fucking guy. The level of talent that guy has to sing and do all of this stuff. At the end, I was looking at this guy going, this guy is literally a pop star doing stand up comedy. The women were going fucking crazy.

I can make, like, people in the crowd laugh. But there's like a different thing with a guy like that where they are, like, enamored, like, oh, my God. I didn't know that about it. Yeah, it's like a Beatlemania type of thing, you know, use something from your generation. Yeah, the Beatles.

Bill Maher
I remember. Yeah, it's like the four tufts, right? I remember being backstage at the Sullivan show when they went on. You went to chase the. I had some good advice for them that night.

Guys sing the hits. People don't want to hear the b sides and the moody stuff sing the hits. And they changed their set list that night. What is so amazing about them is they should have been over in two summers. Because they were essentially a boy band.

Bill Burr
And they. The most ridiculous thing you've said tonight. She loves you yeah, yeah was one. Of their first songs. They made a few records after that.

Bill Maher
You gotta be kidding, Bill. I'm talking about going from that to the White album. The fact that they made that trajectory that they had all of this management that were probably wanting them. Like, remember that guy sang the twist? And the next summer he was like, twist again.

Bill Burr
I mean, it was over. Like, you know, that they wanted to be next summer sing she loves you. Oh, yeah, yeah. They were just, it works. Let's ride this thing to the ground.

And they were like, fuck that. We're gonna keep developing as musicians and we're gonna start our own label. They did a lot of shit. Absolutely. I'm on the same page with you.

I know young people shit on you. You're Zeppelin. I know. That happens a lot. No, I.

That's in vogue for young kids to say, the Beatles stink. I can always talk Beatles. And yes, they always. One reason they are primarinta Paris among rock gods is that they.

I've never heard all of those words. Is that three words? Was that two words? That's Latin for first among equals. Don't you save that for your parties when you're wearing your smoking jacket?

I'll tell you that Bill Maher is really smart. He is really well read. He just said, prima paravares. Prima. Inter Paris.

Inter Paris. You know what? I'm not the bad guy. Cause I know more. Okay?

Can we just get. That's right. Don't make me exactly. I'm not the bad guy. Cause I know things.

Bill Maher
I apologize. You should say I'm sorry. I'm not stupid, Bill. That's what you should have said. You're right.

Bill Burr
That's what you should have said. And that's why u cell stadium. Because you could fucking pip. You got it right on the head. Okay?

Bill Maher
But the Beatles are first among equals, okay. Because they always stayed ahead of the audience. Albert Goldman, in his brilliant book, I thought, made the point that 1966. It's only two years after Beatlemania. The first song on Revolver is Taxman.

He said, what could be less interesting to a teenager than taxes? So. But it's also relatable. Not to a teenager. They don't care about taxes.

Bill Burr
I did as a teenager. Yeah, as a teenager. Because I fucking. There was a. There was like a fucking glass ceiling on the amount of money I could take home.

Like, I couldn't. Like, I was working full fucking time in this warehouse. I could not make $300 in a week. I just couldn't. And with the overtime, I would get it, and they would just punch me back down to 200 and 4235.

And I remember one year, like a fucking idiot. I didn't get any taxes taken out of my check. And then. And I was drinking the whole fucking win. And then it came, and I owed thousands and thousands of dollars.

That was one of the dumbest things I did as a kid. When I was 17. When I was 17. It was a very good year. No, I was the delivery boy for the only industry in town.

Bill Maher
The liquor and drugstore. I would do both. And I would. That's a great job. I thought it was so cool.

Yeah. You know what I like? Cause you didn't have to be at work that time when you were in your car. Yeah, it's the greatest. And I was delivering drugs and liquor.

Bill Burr
Fantastic. Wet my appetite for my future, right? I remember I had a gig. I had a gig one summer washing windows in houses outside. You know, those fucking.

I remember those stupid storm windows that they have back east, like your fingers. By the end of the day, you had to switch fingers from just opening. And they had, for some fucking reason, everybody had a screen and they had like three of these fucking solid ones and they wanted you to wash all of them. And my favorite part of that job was in between when we were driving, my buddy had this fucking sick ass. He had this f 150.

Bill Maher
I bet he was funny about it. Oh, he was fucking hilarious. Okay. He was fucking hilarious. Oh, my God.

Bill Burr
About the drug even like that. Dude, listen, I get it. You're not a knock around guy. You fucking. You looked up latin words and you didn't fucking hang out with the fellas.

And they used to hang you by your underwear at the lockers. So now none of them are funny. Cause this is your one thing. But I'm funny. They could never be as funny as me.

Well, like, there's so much shit about you that's funny that you're not even trying to be funny. Your whole fucking outfit is hilarious. I don't know what it is. Yeah. Shirt and pants is an outfit.

You dress like that, you're gonna sing that. What is that song? Splish splash? I was taking a bath with your stupid little slippers that you're wearing. Slippers.

Bill Maher
These are like boots. These are almost beetle boots. Oh, fuck. You're an outlaw. These are almost beetle boots.

Bill Burr
Chelsea boots. I know. That never got a wipe into fashion. They were the greatest. What were beetle boots?

Those were badasses. Well, that's what it was. It was like the half boot. That's what they sang. She loves chorus.

So what do you like about their music? And when you is, it's like two and a half minute song. And what they could say about a relationship that's still relatable. Like, I used to listen when I really started going into their back catalog. Right, not back catalog.

They're later in their career, rubber sole and all of that shit revolving. It was not later, that was mid. All right, relax, you fucking historian. Good, throw another latin word at me. Anyway, I started listening to the lyrics and I would be like, I literally just went through that with whoever I was dating.

Bill Maher
Which song are we referring to? I don't fucking have a memorized. I'm looking through you. Oh, that's called I'm looking through. And that fucking song is like about the end of a relationship and you experiencing that as a young person.

Bill Burr
You don't look different, but things have changed. Like, the love died, it's fucking over. And now you have to learn how to break up with somebody. Can I share something about the Beatles with you without you making fun of me. Maybe you'll find it, Bill.

That's why I'm here, okay? To listen to you share your ideas about track three. I just. If when I ask, it gets shot down, okay. But I'm gonna do it anyway.

Bill Maher
That's from their mid period. That's 1965 rubber sole. You were what, 28? That was like the first album.

That was the first album you bought your first Beatle booster. I was nine. First album after Beatlemania. So it's great. And that you ever think that you're.

Bill Burr
Older than the hula hoop? That period. I remember the hula hoop. That's true.

Bill Maher
And that period, he was. Paul McCartney was with. His girlfriend was Jane Asher, and he lived in her parents apartment in the garret for, like three years in the middle of London. I'm not making this up. It's the garret.

The Garret is like an attic. Like, you know, the top of the apartment. We're in California. You could just say attic.

Bill Burr
And then after that, did they move to the gay Raj and put some basil on their fry up? Knowing things and words. Asshole. That's an asshole thing to do, to use the english word for fucking attic in California. Okay.

But I'm about, I'm about. I'm one more reference away from taking this mic off and just walking out.

I want to make a list of all the things I didn't know, and I'm just going to fucking say them all to my wife tonight. She'd be like, who the fuck did you you on mushrooms? What are you talking. Oh, the garrod. We have to do Garrett.

Bill Maher
G a, Garrett. R o t t. Brad Garrett. Garrett, like Garrett? Yes, with an o.

Not so when he goes over there. They think his name's Brad attic. No. So anyway, Paul McCartney, he was with. This shoes, Bill Bullocks.

And a number of the songs in that period, like that one are really about her. And some of them are quite wistful. You know, I think at the beginning it's. I've just seen a face, but it gets to put more heart into it. It gets to some, like, you could just tell that it was a relationship that was like, I mean, he was.

It was the middle of, you know, he's a Beatle in London. I don't know how, but he liked, you know, he was a guy who needed a family. He liked having a family, so he lived with the girlfriend's family in the fucking attic. It's a. He's a relationship guy.

He's a relationship guy. Yeah. But 100% I'm. No, I'm not mocking it. I'm just.

Bill Burr
I wasn't saying. You were getting really defensive. No, I'm just back to my point. People are different. So different about that.

Bill Maher
Yes. And that's why I have no problem with how you live your life. You are a happy guy. I am a happy guy. And you're a happy guy.

I am. See, that's the thing. We found what makes us happy. Yeah. And then you get into your ego and not saying you.

Bill Burr
You. Not metaphorically, hypothetically, generally, whatever the fuck you said, apparently, is, you start thinking like, oh, this is the way you're happy, is what made me happy. You know? So you have to do it the way that I'm fucking doing that, then, you know, that's like, I don't. Right.

I can do whatever the fuck I want. Can I. I lose you in that? Yeah. Because I feel like now you're reading my lines.

Bill Maher
That's my line. I can do whatever the fuck I want. When you're a joke thief, eventually you run into the comic you took it from. Well, you are not a joke thief. No.

I mean, I don't know. When you came up being of such a different generation, that was totally different. It was the same way. But when I came up as a comic, I mean, it was like the cardinal sin. Oh, it's still the cardinal sin.

It is. Okay. It's still the cardinal sin. I would think it would have to be, because that's all. Well, back in the day, it's all.

We have is our own take on shit. Right? And then in Boston, before cell phone cameras and all of that stuff, if you took somebody's joke, that person came in and fucking punched you out. There's a famous story about Tim Thompson who I never worked with. He was even older than me, if that's imaginable.

Bill Burr
It's incredible. So was he World War two? World War two, yes. They used to call him the major. No, this is like late seventies.

Bill Maher
When. When. When. He did Omaha beach, the day after D Day. He worked with Frank.

Bill Burr
It was a rough crowd. He worked with Frank Capra. I know who he is. He's fucking amazing. I'm joking.

Yes. Tim Thompson. He's one of the legends down at the comedy store. The story was that when Robin Williams rest his soul on great guy. But.

Bill Maher
But he might have had a tendency once in a while because he was on Mork and Mindy to hear something at the comedy store, and perhaps it involuntarily got into the back of his head. And then it would appear on Mork and Mindy. And the story was that Tim Thompson just walked into the comedy store one night and punched him in the face. Well, I mean, that's. If you do shit like.

Bill Burr
I mean. And who said he was wrong? I'm just saying. Yeah, that's how that shit was handled. It was like hockey.

It was settled on the ice. Yeah, but Boston comics just seem more truculent and pugilistic than most to me.

I knew what that meant. I would agree or disagree with it. I normally would not have used those words. Did you ever play Nick's comedy stop? I bet you had some rough sets in that one.

Bill Maher
I'd had a rough night in Boston once where I was the headliner. I can see you not having a good time in Boston. I could see them going, that was a long time ago, dude. You have. You have.

Bill Burr
This is a hacky reference. But you totally have the energy of. You forgot to give out the homework assignment. Misses so and so. Boston, you may have heard, is a college town.

Bill Maher
There's quite a few intellectuals there. The audience, that's very sophisticated. They like my show. Okay. We all have our niche.

Bill Burr
Oh, God, you're so fucking highbrow. Well, it's your shit. Jokes float above ours a little bit. Why? Because you say segment tank or something?

Something about shit. Wait, what was I just gonna tell you? God damn it. Nothing interesting. No, it was.

Bill Maher
What were we talking about? I'm fucking empty. No, we were talking about something important. Going to Boston. Boston.

Thank you. Yes. I love Boston. It loves me. That's been going.

I did a special there in 2007. I have a love affair with the Boston audience. We are like this. Cause they're just very smart. What can I tell you?

I know you hate to hear that, but. No, it just sounds like. It sounds like you have a gig coming up in Boston and the tickets are a little slow. No, they're never slow in Boston. Never slow in Boston.

But do you perform in Cambridge? Cambridge. That's what Harvard is for a guy like you. I know that. That's gotta be the Taj Maha.

Bill Burr
I love that. That bug Harvard? Are you kidding? Have you heard what's going on on college campuses these days? I don't watch the news.

Bill Maher
You don't realize that college campuses erupted with the kids demonstrating for Hamas? They are in with the terrorists. They were for the Palestinians. Well, it's sort of the same cause.

Why are you. I'm on the side of the kids. Yeah, that's easy to say. You know, no one wants to see kids dead. This is a war.

Bill Burr
It's very brave of you to say this. This is a war. No, I'm the one who was actually brave on this. Pat yourself on the backside. It's easy to say I'm for the kids.

Bill Maher
Who's not for the kids. It comes down to real hard nosed decisions. Like, stop talking like you're a general. A country got attacked. Israel got attacked.

Bill Burr
I'm not saying that they didn't have a right to go back. I'm just sitting there going, like, how do I look at what the only. Country in the world that they get attacked, and then as soon as they counter attack, it's like, well, we got to stop this shit now. Don't attack them. There's a very simple solution to all this problem in the Middle east.

Bill Maher
Stop attacking Israel. Stop attacking Israel. You just did. There you go. That's fantastic.

Anyway, all right, we don't need to get that. Let's go to Russia and the Ukraine. How do you solve that one, Bill? Let me hear your hard nosed decision about that. Well, let me ask you a question.

Bill Burr
How is war still legal with all the shit that's been canceled? Legal? Why is that still fucking legal? Would you like a real answer to that? Because for something to be illegal, you have to have the capacity to enforce it.

Bill Maher
And you can't enforce against war, or else you have to go to war with the country that's going to war. And we don't want to go to war with Russia over Ukraine. What would be the sense of making it illegal? Oh, that's really gonna stop Putin. No, to stop people from going to war, you have to also put.

Bill Burr
You can't sit down and talk it out. Why can't Putin do a podcast with the head guy? Like, you just solved the Middle east on a podcast. Why can't they solve what they're doing on a podcast? This is why.

Bill Maher
This is not your thing. Make some hard noises. It's not your thing. It's what you. It is my thing.

It isn't your business. It isn't. You're like that guy that has a fantasy football team and thinks he's a fucking GM. No, that's exactly what it is. Like, why am I fucking listening to you like you've done something.

Bill Burr
What have you done in Washington? Nothing. No, I would never go to Washington. It's beneath you. It.

Bill Maher
No, it would. Look, you would be the coolest fucking guy in Washington. You showed up with those boots with no tie. They'd be like, oh my God, it. Would be so easy to be.

Bill Burr
Did Kevin Bacon just come back to that footloose town? Kevin Bacon. You could teach him how to dance, Bill. Yeah, I absolutely could. Bound a bound a bank, a bound a bound.

You fucking get off your little private jet. I have a tv show. Oh, and you go and you travel southwest, is that right, Bill? I love southwest. Really?

I love the order. Is that how you travel? I love southwest. Do you travel commercial? Most of the time, yeah.

You do? Yeah. Commercial? Yeah. Interesting.

Bigger plane, better pilots. You don't get knocked around as much. You ride in a fucking Cadillac. The only that sucks about commercial is boarding. That's it.

Once you're there and you got your fucking shit up there, you're flying first class, which all first class is if you never flown is they treat you like a human being supposed to. The animals in the back, they just throw you back there. That was my whole career working my way up to being tree like. I remember the DC nine when you sit there and your window didn't open because there was an engine there. You don't remember that?

I can't. How about that last row on the DC nine? The window doesn't open. There's an engine right there and then right across from you is the bathroom and you gotta listen to another human being take a fucking shit behind one of those things starlets used to get undressed behind. I'm still stuck on you defending commercial.

Still stuck on you. Still stuck on you defending commercial flights as better. Now you can make the case that it's wrong to fly private. I get that. But I've never heard anyone make the case that it's actually better to be on Delta.

Bill Maher
That's kind of cokey. No, no, I hate Delta. Delta's the fucking worst. I bet you fly private more than you're letting on. Listen, if I have to go somewhere and I don't have enough time to.

Get there, oh, suddenly we've got an exception? No, I said mainly I fly commercial. Well, you're an idiot. You shouldn't. You know what?

It's. What was this? If I don't agree with you, I'm an idiot. You're right. I apologize.

Bill Burr
Fucking John Varvato's shirt. You're not young. Put on a sweater. For fuck's sakes. Put on a sweater.

Bill Maher
Why I have to be at your age. That's the secret in life. Avoid that. No. Don't you think?

Bill Burr
No, no. Well, hey, I'm an idiot, right? No, I think the number one thing is to be your age, like, all these fucking people, like, they go do a college gig at my age, I'm gonna be 56 next month. Be 56 and come at them as a 56 year old. And you can give them advice on all the shit that you did and just say, hey, this worked for me.

And you can just have a great time with them. You can have a fucking great time. What fucks you up is if you're looking at what they're wearing and, you know, you fucking come up with your little. Your little outfit. I don't know why.

Bill Maher
This outer, this simple shirt and pair of plain jeans. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what you're wearing. That's why it's so much fun to just make fun of it. It's a little bit of a fucking pirate shirt. You got a lot of extra material in the, you know, that's what it is.

Bill Burr
It's this. Why, first of all, you should have buttoned that. If you actually were the gentleman, you're. Trying to be buttoned this. You're right.

Bill Maher
And a woman in your life, she. Wouldn'T let you go on camera like this. It's almost like we're giving you, like, an advanced comedy test. Like, can you make fun of this? We're just, like, a crazy.

Bill Burr
Like, you're a fashion kind of bland, you know, like your opinions. Yeah, exactly. Oh, and then when I fucking, you. Know, go gratuitous and I go, ooh, a big word. Another big g word.

Look at you. You memorizing that part of the fucking dictionary? I don't have kids. I got all day long. Read the dictionary.

Use my fucking three dollar words with a guy who unloads trucks. Oh, why do I think there's. Why don't we do a. We got to do a buddy movie? This is, like, perfect.

Bill Maher
This is Walter Matthew. I'm certainly not going to do a movie, but there is something about. You seem like an actor. There is something very, like, very mineable about this vein of comedy of the single guy, the married guy, the, you know, pompous professor. No, no, but I also the blue collar guy.

I mean, it does kind of write. But I was breaking bad. Breaking Bad is one of the great dark comedies of all time, where you had this super smart teacher, and he had, like, his biggest fuck up as a student, and then they have to somehow work. It was the art code. Fantastic.

I never watched that show, and I know everybody loves it. I'm gonna watch it now. Cause that is interesting to me. I'll tell you what was the coolest thing about that show is, you know, those. Anytime you make a tv show or a movie, you always have these people that go, no, that never would have happened like that.

Bill Burr
Do everything that they did right down to me in Lavelle Crawford, laying on that pile of money. They figured out how much money Mister White would have in what denominations and how high it would be to shoot those people down. When we did this train robbery scene, I got to be on that. It was so fucking robbing a train. It was amazing.

And they were. Whatever chemical they had in one of them, they used to make meth, so they were taking it out. My job was to stall the train. They take it out and then replace it with water. And they had their teams figure out how long that would take.

And they said, we literally had somebody that would be on the Internet that wouldn't happen like that. They said, actually it would. The volume of water. Is this the volume of that? And they would just shut them the fuck down like a comedian just chopping the head off of the fucking loudmouth asshole in the front row.

They did that while making one of the great, greatest shows of all time. That is satisfying. Like, I already loved. Like, everybody liked the show. It was one of the most efficiently run.

They just knew what they wanted to do. I did it. I did one of the first times I did the gig there. We got through the scene so fast, they switched my flight from the next day. Southwest.

They go, we can get you right now. We can go get your bags at the thing. And they. I felt like fucking Elvis. Do you have, like, a deal now for make more movies somewhere?

No. No, it doesn't exist anymore. What? It doesn't exist no more things. They don't do those.

Like, they get. They're getting away from first look deals. Like, I'm always late to the party. Like, when I started, stand up was right after the eighties. All the balloons were popped on the ground and everybody was getting their wages garnished.

Bill Maher
Oh, yes. Again, my generation ruined everything. I didn't say you ruined. I never said no. But the eighties, that's when I was starting.

I mean, that's when I was a young comic. All right, but I didn't say you ruined it. No, I'm just saying. No, but it got bloated. It was on every channel, and then it went right.

Bill Burr
So I used to open for guys. Got bloated? Yes. Yeah. And I used to open for guys.

They would try to discourage me. They would be like, oh, man, I don't even know why you even started? If I was your age, I would get the fuck out of this business. What they told me. And they would be like, Wednesday night, look at this.

There's nobody in here. You know, fucking three years ago, there'd be a line down the fucking block. And I didn't have any deflector shields, you know, so I would be listening. Really? Oh, my God.

Should I quit? But fortunately, I sucked at everything else in life, so I really didn't have any options. Yeah, I didn't have a plan b either, really? I remember when I got out of college, I sent out resumes to advertising agencies. I guess I thought I could get that as a day job.

Bill Maher
Be an ad man, you know? Write ad copy. I could see that. I could see it, too. I mean, you know.

Yeah. You know, it's not that different from stand up. In a way. You're trying to be humorous and pithy. And okay, you'd probably talk down to a few clients, but you'd throw those words in and they'd be like, this guy's smart.

Bill Burr
This guy knows how to sell these widgets. I'm telling you, when we both flame out and doing a morning talk show in Seattle, this kind of stuff is going to be gold. It's fart man and asshole Jack. Yep. Oh, that was morning radio.

Morning radio was always a real name. And then, you know, Eddie and the bulldog. It was always something like that. We got wild man vermouth with fucking Jerry. It was always a regular name.

Then something crazy. So there's no more three picture deals? No, more, like deals at streaming services. I shouldn't say that. Don't they need someone like me, really?

Bill Maher
But that. But old dads, when you're a bald ginger in Hollywood, it's basically. But didn't old dads do very well? Yes, it did. Then why crushed during the strike, it was number let me fucking for everyone who worked on that movie, Bobby Cannavale and all of those amazing actors and everybody.

I like him. Patrick, Don Vito, everybody helped me edit the thing. Ben Tischler, all of them. We were number one globally on Netflix two weekends in a row, and it streamed like 50 million. Because who around the world doesn't understand the concept of old dads?

Certainly in Pakistan. Well, maybe we just made a good movie. No. So, okay, so tell me this about the business. There a compliment?

Bill Burr
The thanks. What? There was no compliment in that.

Bill Maher
Actually. There was shit on it. Like, you didn't think that it went fucking global? No, I didn't say in Pakistan. They were watching, they might have.

Bill Burr
You don't think there's some old dads there? No, what I said it was. That's right. You figured out the Middle east. No, I found a way to craftily get a very good compliment into you.

Well, that's what it is without making it. You look like love. Because I am the pompous professor, my friend. I like it. I know you do.

Bill Maher
So anyway, but riddle me this about the business, because I'm always reading, as we're always talking of people at dinner when we're in this town and we're all in the business and we're talking about the changing and the streaming and everything. Why is it if a movie does well like that, then there isn't at least an offer to do the next one or. Because the people running it now.

They'Re. Kind of doing like what Germany did, where they tried to take over the whole world, and you can't do that because there's just so many people don't want that. But there's always something in every business, like Amazon or fucking Walmart. They're always trying, you know, let's open up across from this mom and pop and put them out of business, and we'll be the only show in town. Like, there's just always people doing that.

So that to do with hiring a guy who just had a big hit movie to do another hit movie. If you want to take over the. World service, have devalued art. Where back in the day you used to pay $10 to go see a movie, now $20, you get all talking about. We're talking about.

Bill Burr
Ask me a question. I'm trying to fucking answer it. We're talking about success, the movie. Why don't you just tell me what it is rather than ask the time? I'm asking because I don't understand.

Bill Maher
The movie had success. Doesn't matter if it was art or not. It has. And I can tell you what happened to me. I fucking went back and I pitched another movie to two junior executives, and I waited six weeks to get an offer that it was just like it never happened.

Bill Burr
Still starting out like I like that movie never happened. And that's kind of like, that's how the acting world. That's why I think being an actor is so much harder than being a fucking comedian. Cause if I come through town first time I headline your club, I draw. Okay?

But you see, I'm funny. We'll take another chance on this guy. I come back, even if the same 30 people show up but you see, I have a whole new act. They see it, and you've proven you're funny. I don't have to reprove that I'm funny.

No, again, we're an actor. This fucking actor's worth an Oscar. And there's people going, yeah, I don't know. Can they play that? It's like they won the highest fucking award.

And I just. I have empathy for actors, for the lack of control they have. First of all, you do the performance, and if you're not in the edit, especially if it's a comedy and you get the wrong guy editing it, and they're going to leave you hanging out to dry. Like, the actors really are, like the quarterback of the team where it's like, if you win your fucking Joe Montana, if you lose, you're a bust. And, like, a lot of times, and as you're making a movie, you have no idea how it's gonna come together.

Bill Maher
No idea. I've been on enough movies to know. It is just always a mystery. There's so many things that can go wrong. Are they gonna promote it?

Bill Burr
I mean, I did this.

I did this really, really great movie, front runner, and it came out the same weekend as Aquaman. And it was just. I saw one of the stars promote it for like, two days. Yeah. I never heard of it.

And then the next time I saw him, he was promoting his next project, and I said, oh, my God, they're burying it. It's not gonna get. And it's just. What was it on? What was.

It was in the movie theaters. It was in the theater? Yeah. I mean, most. You would have liked the movie.

It was about Gary Hart. I would have watched it. Gary Hart. It was Gary Hart. And it was about the.

The first politician. Never heard of it, where they went into his personal life, and there was this big debate. What did you play? I played one of the reporters for the Miami Herald. And the big thing was.

Oh, yeah, there was like a battle at the paper. They had this great scene where it's like, we can't run this cause we'll be like a tabloid. And then the big thing was, Gary Hart said, hey, I'm an open book. You know, go ahead, look at everything he said that he did. And that was their wiggle room.

Room to get in that. And then after that, nothing was the same. Nothing was the same. But I always wondered, what did Gary Hart think? Because he had to end his campaign because of infidelities.

And then within four years, Bill Clinton comes in and he's like the Teflon Don. None of it sticks to him, and he still ends up getting elected and does two terms. Like, he must have been thinking, like, oh, I could have done that. I didn't know that. Yeah.

I could have just went like, you know, I did not have sexual relationship. I love. I love the look of determiner. I did not. Like, I always wondered if he stood in the mirror and got that bottom lip.

Bill Maher
He was something. Yeah. I'm still so puzzled by this, though, that, I mean, just in their interest. You'd think it would be in their interest if you did something that was successful for them to want to. That's all.

I mean, you could always count on that. In show business, art is just always that. If you're lucky, it coincides with their business interests. But profit, success, people bought it. That's what they care about.

That's why I don't understand about this. It's in their interest. So something is very fucked up in this media age we live in, when success is not rewarded. And I've heard a lot of people say that about streaming, that success is not rewarded, like, directly, like it was back in the day. You bought a record that went to number one.

People actually went to the store and bought it. We knew which was most popular. Same thing with movies. The box office, like, streaming now, like streamers. They're holding all the cards.

Bill Burr
It's like stripes. Remember stripes? That great scene, John Candy? And he's looking, oh, yeah, man, you lost again. He's looking at his cards and shit.

Like, you know, they give you the numbers, and it's just like, how do I know that's true? Like, you have, like, for the awards season, they can go, this is a massive hit. Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. And then when you come to be like, okay, it's a massive hit. Can I ask?

The numbers weren't that good. The numbers are whatever they need them to be. It's become like that. So, I mean, so I just roll with it. I mean, if that's.

That's. I don't think it's gonna stay like this. Like, and it's like. Are you working on scripts, though, for. Yeah, me and Ben Tessera were writing another one.

We got another great idea. It's another thing in the title. You know what? It's. That's what I liked about old dads.

You knew what it was, right. And then within that, you could touch on a lot of bigger topics with just regular people. Like, we were commenting on, you know, sort of like, summing somebody up in one tweet. And you like the process of, like, writing a movie with somebody. I love writing.

I love writing dialogue. And one of my favorite things to do is every, like. I want every actor that shows up to be excited like that we wrote him something that's gonna be fun to say. Cause then they come to the set. Of course they're fun.

Bill Maher
Well, that's how you get an actor to do it. Yeah. And then for the crew, all you do, once a week, you bring in a food truck, you know, and a coffee truck. On another day, they're like, okay, this guy gives a fuck. Like, the bar is so low.

Do you feed your crew once a week? No, no, no, there's a regular. There's a regular thing. But once a week, if you spring for a food truck. Cause that's coming out of your pocket.

Bill Burr
That's not them. They're like, all right. This guy's a solid guy. So then if you have a long day. Cause shit isn't working, which is gonna happen.

They're not looking at you like, you know, how many times gonna eat this fucking lasagna? You know? Lasagna is like the big. Like, if you gotta cook for 100 people, right? It's.

They come out in those aluminum trays. If a truck comes up every once in a while, you gotta give somebody a rail light, you know, as they're doing. A great tip for the kids out there who are thinking about going into the business and treating crews bad or good. Can I tell you how low the bar is? How low the bar is?

Bill Maher
Oh, you just did. A food truck. Once a week will do it. Yeah. You know what I tell you?

Bill Burr
Just saying good morning to people, they're like, you're like, one of the nicest guys I ever worked for. It's just like, what the fuck happened to you? Who doesn't say good morning? There's people that don't say good morning. No, I mean, look, I would not have the.

Bill Maher
Oh, my God. To do a movie, first of all, you got to get up at, like, the crack of dawn. I mean, and it's like. I remember in the eighties doing it. It's like all you do is DC cab, right?

DC cab. My first big picture. You do the movie and sleep. That's your whole life. There's almost nothing.

Bill Burr
If you're the director. You do the movie, and then you answer questions, and then you go to sleep and you wake up and there's more questions. Yeah, well, I'm saying it's just the movie in sleep. There's no life there. So it was a great experience for me because I, you know, I already obviously respected people that directed and edited and everything, but I didn't understand the process of how tedious it is.

And, like, you know, my add and everything. Like, I really had to, like, I had to figure out a way in the edit room to give your brain a break. So what we started doing was me, Ben, and Patrick, Don Vito, who edited the movie. We would go for walks. We'd be like, you know, let's just take a walk around the block.

We gotta get out. Cause we're just in this fucking editing bay. This curtains are down and everything, and you're just fucking in this thing. And just like, it became, like, really productive to not sit there all day working, to actually get up and like. And you'd be looking forward.

What do you think? 11:00 we'll go for work. Okay, great. So then I can break my day down. We would have lunch, and then the afternoon we would go for, like, another, like, walk.

Just walking around, trying different restaurants. What about a meditation podcast for you? What do you think you do? Just mindfulness where you just. Did that make you uncomfortable?

That I did that. You see, you do that to me, but when I do it to you, it's not suddenly it's out of bounds. No, I knew what you were doing. I thought we were doing that thing. So I hit it back to you.

Did that make you uncomfortable? I took it off of me. I put it on you. That's nothing new. No, I'm just saying I see you doing a kind of a.

Bill Maher
We call it meditation for meathead. I am a meathead. I don't have a problem with that. I am one of my biggest fucking. One of my most.

Bill Burr
The best thing about me is I know I'm an idiot. You're not an idiot. If you were an idiot. Oof. What?

I mean, you know, it's not an idiot. It's just a. You're calling me a fucking meathead and then you say, I'm not an idiot. You're all over the road here. It's a bit, but.

Bill Maher
No, it's just that people perceive truth differently. Like, if you've ever had a lover who is, like, in the arts, I know you hate that term, but artistic people, they don't perceive truth. Exactly. Literally. Now, sometimes that's better and sometimes it's worse.

Cause sometimes the truth is just the truth. And they don't see it that way. They see it sort of artistically, they see it through a prison. That's your question? And I don't think they're stupider.

I just think they see life through a different prism. Can I ask you a question? We gotta gonna. From the bottom of your heart, you said to another human being, you know what? I'm wrong.

Oh, all the time. All the time. Really? My favorite words are I'm wrong or I don't know. Because every time I say them, I learn something.

Absolutely. And I'm. I didn't. I didn't see that coming from you. I know, but we don't know each.

We don't know each other. And I dress like a clown, so why would we?

Bill Burr
This is one of the most showbiz ridiculous shows. This is one of the most showbiz friendships I have in this business, because the only time I've ever been is podcast or your show. It's just the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Have you seen Casablanca lately? I would recommend it highly.

I love it. I did. I actually. It's so great. Took my wife to go see Casablanca, where they had the symphony downtown.

Bill Maher
I saw it also with a lady friend, and it's very meaningful. And they had a live orchestra playing the score as you watch the movie. So cool. Where is this whatever that big symphony hall is that I never go to? Oh, downtown, the Disney center?

Bill Burr
Yeah. The one that looks all weird. Yeah, the one from Francis. Frank Gehry.

Frank Gehry. He's an architect. He's an architect. I knew he's an architect. Oh, that's a big thing in your world, knowing architects names.

Bill Maher
I wasn't trying to break. That's an L. Ron Hubbard. It's just I'm always no Frank Lloyd Wright. I always say, I'll run over Frank Lloyd.

Bill Burr
That's a Frank Lloyd Wright. You knew that one. I like Frank Lloyd Wright. Right. He and his brother invented.

I like Arteco. Frank Lloyd Wright. He and his brother invented the airplane. I like Art deco. Art deco.

First of all, I don't think you could change the oil in a car, so don't talk about fucking architecture like you can't. And I wouldn't want to. Oh, let me adjust my glasses. Why would I want. I don't want to.

Bill Maher
Why would I want to? Eliza, I'm Professor Henry Higgins. That's another great one. It's a really satisfying. Have you seen my fair lady?

Can I recommend something? Watch that with your wife. My fair lady. You'll really enjoy it. Some white woman spinning around in a field.

Bill Burr
Yeah, I don't think she was gonna. Be too into it. The sound of music, fool. Aren't those all the same movie? Isn't that all fast and the furious for the musical lovers?

Bill Maher
Ooh, my fair lady's based on Pygmalion. Oh, that's based on that. Can I tell you something, Bill? Most of the shit that you say is not smart. It's just sort of obscure.

It's not obscure to a certain percentage of people that are. I'm not some giant egghead egghead. I'm just. I know you're not that smart. I know.

I'm not saying I am. Which says something about all these things. I say that you don't know what I'm talking about. So what? I know there's subjects I could bring.

Bill Burr
Up that's just, you know, you're just into, you know, musicals.

You're not gonna make me feel dumb. Who's your favorite? You're so dumb. You sell stadiums. Let me ask you this.

Who's your favorite? What's your favorite top musical? You know, I'm not a musical fan at all. My fair lady was playing in the house when I was a kid along with some other ones, but that's the one I gravitated to. I still could play Professor Henry Higgins.

Bill Maher
I'm almost still not too old to do that. I'm not going to do that. But it's one of the rare parts where I would be perfect for it. He's a pompous professor. There you go.

And it's just delightful. The music is great. I'm sure you know many of the songs. I won't sing them all for you. Sing one for me.

I have often walked on this street. Before sing another one. I don't know that one.

Bill Burr
I'm walking down it now. Do be doo good clean fun what's that? What is that? That's scat singing from your generation. Oh, that's scat singing.

That's one of the most annoying things ever. Scat singing. Oh, I get it. You sound like a trumpet. Stop.

Bill Maher
Your zoot suit itch.

Bill Burr
Yeah, I wasn't. Scat singing is something I have to walk away from. What music do you listen to? What music do you listen to, Bill Burr? I'll tell you the latest thing I downloaded.

Willow Smith. Willow Smith just put out a fucking incredible album. And what I'm loving is the drums are incredible. And so much of it is in, like, an odd time, I was trying to play along to this one song that it started in seven, and then it stops. There's a bar of eight, and then you play in seven and then the chorus is in four.

And I literally had to write it out to try and just figure out, like, the first friggin half of it. So I listened to that. I still listen to Zeppelin. Zeppelin. I've been listening to Kenny Rogers.

I like old school country.

I like a lot of hip hop. Right into.

Right about biggie dying and Jay Z coming up. I liked all of that. I liked storytellers. Nineties? Yeah.

Like, yeah. And a lot of the eighties shit is really cool, too, but, like, basically the nineties. And what I loved about Biggie was he was fucking hilarious. And he was an incredible, incredible storyteller. And his stage presence was, was unbelievable.

And the fact that he was only 24, he did all of that by 24. And I was really into that. Now you just age out of it because people are talking about stuff. Not like I can relate to what. He was actually, Bill, I wish we could, but there's another rap war going on currently.

Bill Maher
Maybe you've heard about it between Drake and Kendrick Lamar. And who better to discuss this and a 60 something and a 50 something. Year old white guy. What do you make of this rap war, this sort of renaissance of the nineties rap wars? I think it's great.

Bill Burr
It's great. Great. Well, it's great for somebody got shot today. Oh, well, you know, you have to make your hard nosed decisions. I.

No, I think it's great. It's fun. I think it's fun. Why can't we all get along that. Are all, why can't we all get along?

Because sociopaths want all of it. But why, why Drake and Kendrick Lamar? I mean, why are mommy and daddy fighting? I don't know what you, I don't know where you're going with this. Why are they, why are they what?

I believe the kids call it beefing. I know it is beefing. I know I'm single. I'm into all those. No, cap.

I don't know. I don't know anything about. I don't know anything about that world. I don't know. I don't fucking know.

Bill Maher
Has 60 minutes done you yet? No. See, it never stops. That whole thing about somebody passed me, they got 60 minutes. No, no.

Bill Burr
I like, I like where I am in this business. Yeah. I like that. I just do what I do, and whoever likes it likes it. And whoever doesn't moves on to something else.

I don't have. Like, I bet you 60 minutes does you within the next two years. I'll take that bet. All right, well, I had a ball. I had a great time.

Bill Maher
I hope so, because you're my favorite. Smarmy person in this business. My favorite. Whatever. The fucking meat head.

All right. I know we're not. Yeah, that was. Oh, come on. Bring it in.

Bill Burr
Oh, he goes for the side hug. The side hug. Non committal, even with his male friend. Oh, my God.

Bill Maher
Oh, my God.

Bill Burr | Club Random with Bill Maher

Primary Topic

Episode Summary

Main Takeaways

Episode Chapters

1: Early Careers and Comedy Insights

2: Personal Anecdotes and Society

3: Reflections on Comedy and Culture

Actionable Advice

About This Episode

People

Content Warnings:

Transcript