Sean and Ethan Read YOUR SUBMISSIONS!

Sean McLoughlin
Man, I just got off a four mile hike on a big bear. Yeah. It wasn't the one that's in California, though. I was just climbing over a really big bear. Oh, like the ones in Elden Ring when you go behind them and then they go.

Yeah. It's called a rune bear. It's whatever. I know the game. Rune bear.

Ethan Nestor
Rune bear. I've been playing Elden ring recently. I've been going around. Why you. Why you been doing in it?

Well, I recently was trying to go around Caelid, but I don't think that I'm good enough yet. I don't think that I like it there. I don't think I like it there. Those big birds, they really. I never, ever fight those.

Sean McLoughlin
Even late game. I never go back and fight any of those. I always just run by because they suck. Yeah. Bad, bad time.

Red village poison. No. Terrible. It's goddamn terrible. Yeah.

Ethan Nestor
I also found out, because I've been playing a lot of Elden ring. Not necessarily prepping for the DLC because I still haven't beaten Elden ring yet. But I was like, I want to start all the way over and I want to.

But I found out, you know, how you can kind of do the. Well, it's not cheesy, but getting. It's a little cheesy. In early game, you can go through Caelid. Is it in Caelid?

I think maybe to the big sleeping dragon and kill the dragon and get like 50,000 runes. Yeah. Did you know? And maybe they patched it. I don't know if they did.

But apparently you can kill the dragon and then quickly, as fast as you can, run to the site of grace nearby and then sleep. And then when you wake up, the dragon is still there, but you still get all the ropes. Whoa. I didn't know that. Isn't that crazy?

Sean McLoughlin
That's. I mean, that's not. They put it in there. If it's still in there and it's not patched out, then what are you gonna do? People say using a mimic is cheesy.

I wouldn't trust anything the fromsoft community says. No, it's all about the way that you feel like playing. Yeah. It's like painting a beautiful picture. And then people are like, you used paint to do that, didn't you?

You didn't use your own blood, sweat and excretion to get the colors you needed. Are you. It's not real art. Are you a fucking idiot? I hit my teeth off my microphone.

I don't know if that'll be picked up. It's just a little. I was streaming it the other day and I had the, like, fuck you moment to chat because I was going to fight Godric, and someone was like, don't use summons. It's cheating. And I was like, no, it's not.

Ethan Nestor
It's not cheating. It's part of the game. In the game they put it in, and Miyazaki himself went, I go to bed every night with a mimic. It's cool. I wake up, make breakfast with a mimic every morning.

Sean McLoughlin
If he says it's okay, mimic's so cool. They made it in real life. Miyazaki's a real one. If you want to make the game harder for yourself, that's fine. But if you want to make the game harder for yourself, don't summon mimics.

Don't wear armor. Only use the weapon you started the game with. Never upgrade it. And punch yourself in the face consistently while you're playing with one hand on the controller. Now you're playing elden ring.

Ethan Nestor
That is true. That's very similar. Like, don't use summons. It's cheating. Okay?

Don't upgrade your weapon at all. That's cheating. Oh, now you're using rivers of blood. That's cheating. Okay, I'll use the blasphemous blade.

Sean McLoughlin
That thing heals you while you use it. That's cheating. Like, what do you want from me? I'm just gonna go around with my fucking thumb up my ass, smacking everyone with my big, long cock, hoping that it does blunt damage and kill everything, while I wrap it around my own neck and strangle myself listening to you. Tom, I hope that your dick doesn't do blood damage.

Blood? Blood. Oh, I thought you were saying it in flicks. Smack it off enough things, it'll do blood damage eventually. Self inflicted blood damage.

Don't get scarlet rotten your dick hole. Anyway, what's up, you blubbering puss baby bitch bags? Welcome back to the Brain podcast. I'm feeling it today. My nipples are on one, I'm half chubbed, and I'm ready to fucking fuck a goat.

Ethan Nestor
What an intro to the episode. We're finding out if you, the listener watching listening, are an asshole. Last week, well, I guess it was two weeks ago because we took a week off. We did. We had some personal stuff going on.

Sean McLoughlin
Ethan and I got indicted for tax fraud. It's no big deal. Slip the IR's or the equivalent of it over here. $50. They were like, didn't know you were chill.

Like, that, and then we went to Topgolf, had some beers. Hell, yeah. What is the equivalent of that?

You're like, I don't know. I don't pay taxes. I don't know. I dodge them whenever they come to the house. I think it's HMRC or something like that.

I can't remember the acronym for it. It's just revenue. Internal Revenue. It's just I. I don't know.

Ethan Nestor
The fucking asshole people. I don't know. I've been through so many different versions of it. You go from Ireland to England. That's at least two.

Sean McLoughlin
It's too many to keep track of.

Ethan Nestor
Any who. We asked you two weeks ago. We said, hey, how's it going? We're gonna read am I the assholes? And then we only read one of them.

But then we were thinking, what if you're the ass? What if you were the asshole all along? Which I think we're giving assholes a bad rap. Assholes serve a very significant, useful function. Mm hmm.

Absolutely. What? What's worse than an asshole? Hmm? Hmm?

Sean McLoughlin
What if you're a staph infection? Am I the sti.

Ethan Nestor
As my Sti? They don't serve much of a function, and they all suck. That's true. That's true. You know, assholes you can learn and grow from.

Sean McLoughlin
Yeah. Anyway, we're just free Ballin these ones. So if we don't read out your thing, it's probably because it was bad and we don't like you. Mm hmm. Yeah.

Ethan Nestor
Take it personally. Yeah. I'm staring right down the barrel of the camera right now at you, person whose thing we didn't read, because it was terrible and you should feel bad. Yeah. Anyway, also, I want you all to feel bad because I'm logging onto Twitter.

I don't go on there anymore, but I'm going on Twitter to look at this hashtag. Just don't look at anything about yourself, Ethan. No. Turn away. No.

All right, do you want to pick the first? Do you want me to pick the first? I'll go first. Cause there's one right off the top when I search the hashtag from aguts or August saying, if Sean and Ethan can't help me, I don't know who can. My family is being torn apart.

Sean McLoughlin
Oh, is this gonna get real and sad.

Am I the asshole for waking my mom up to kill a bug? A few weeks ago, around midnight, I walked into the bathroom and was greeted with a massive palmetto bug in the bathtub. Palmetto bugs are a large breed of roach surrounded around the size of a middle finger. I don't know what a palmetto is. Oh, it just looks like a cockroach.

Ethan Nestor
It's a cockroach. I searched palmetto, and I just got a bunch of trees. Okay. Palm editor, bug. Okay.

Sean McLoughlin
It's like a long cockroach. Oh, God. Fucking hell. Okay. I have an incredibly debilitating phobia of bugs, specifically roaches, and I attempted to be brave and kill it to just get it over with.

Unfortunately, though, I lost it in the shower curtain, which was when I started to panic and feel sick. Only one person could fix this. My mother, my mudder, my ma. Now, here's some important context. Every night before my mom goes to bed, she tells me that I can wake her up if I need anything.

Tonight was no exception. Her saying this, I woke her up, and she successfully killed the bug for me. And all was well. Okay, so far, so good. Pixar movie in the morning, it was clear that my mom was a bit frustrated with me for doing this.

And she told me lightheartedly that I should have manned up and killed it myself and not woken her up. She's right. I should have just braved it. But she did say that I could wake her up for anything. I did apologize, though, and I felt really bad.

She still poking fun at me for this, but I feel as though I'm just fighting what I did as I have a debilitating phobia and bugs. Really scary. And I have second guess myself. Am I the asshole?

Ethan Nestor
I don't think so. Your mom said that you could wake you up for anything. Yeah. Your mom said that you could wake you up. Show me to me, please.

Said you could wake her up for anything. Also, uh, I think maybe. It depends. It seems like you're younger, so I think that that's fine. I think that's fair.

Sean McLoughlin
I think you should have woken your mom up, and you and the bug should have killed your mom. Hmm. Yes. Wake up the book. I think if you.

Ethan Nestor
If you really want to get it. I mean, it seems like your mom is still poking fun at you, but in a lighthearted way, I would say so. Yeah. I don't think she's mad. I think you are not the asshole.

Sean McLoughlin
I think that's fine. I think your mother's there to take care of you, to keep you safe, hug you in her arms. She can't kill a bug for you. Who can? I think if you're really worried about it, maybe go down to the shop, maybe see if you can find a little bug themed thank you card, if they have any, any of those or just a thank you card.

Ethan Nestor
And you can draw a bug on it and write a little thing saying, hey, my thanks for waking up and killing the bug. The big fear in the night. I think you should buy a million dead bugs on Amazon and fill your mom's. Buy a gun and shoot the bug next time. You should fill your mom's bed with dead bugs and be like, not so funny.

Sean McLoughlin
Like, go full godfather on her. Uh huh. Red Leak 1010 988-765-4321 blast off rockets, rockets in the sky. Rocket money. Here we go again.

Let's go. I'm wasting all my money on unwanted subscriptions. I thought you were about to bust into a fucking sick, like, alt emo screamo kind of song. I'm wasting all my money on unwanted subscriptions.

Ethan Nestor
That was kind of sick, actually. That sounds like a Lincoln park song. Chester, still with us. That's. That's pretty dope.

Listen, guys, if you're wasting money on subscriptions and you don't even know how to cancel all of them and you have to go through your email and find all this stuff, you don't have to do that anymore. You can just use rocket money. You can go on a tab in Rocket money, and they'll say, here's all your subscriptions. And you go, I'm paying for Netflix 40 times a month. What am I doing?

Shit. Rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your own money subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lowers your bills so that you can grow your savings instead of chipping away at it like a weird little guy. Mm hmm. And, you know, rocket money does so many cool things for you. Not only can you subscribe, not only can you track all of your subscriptions.

Sean McLoughlin
Not only can you kill your brain. Real quick, but also rocket money is even like, kind of like a cool older brother when you go to buy your first car. And they're gonna go up to the salesman and they're gonna negotiate a lower price for you, for your bills, okay? Up to 20%. They can help you negotiate.

Ethan Nestor
All you have to do is submit a picture of your bill. Rocket money takes care of the rest, baby. They'll deal with the customer service for you. They've helped over 5 million users and saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions. That's total.

Sean McLoughlin
We're not saying that you're gonna save $500 million, but it's a start. Saving members up to $740 a year. When using all of the apps features. So if you wanna get it and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, go to rocketmoney.com brainleak. That's rocketmoney.com.

Ethan Nestor
brain leak. Save money, save your life. Brain leak. I actually have a solution to this, Sean. Okay.

If you want to fill some time for 15 seconds. Okay. I feel like I can do that. Skibbity whop whop skibbity bop. I'm scat, man.

Sean McLoughlin
I'm here to scat about bugs and shit. Don't cockroaches, when they all get together, have a ton of heat, and they smell like absolute garbage? I think you did good. If that bug had a chance, he would kill you. It's like seeing a cow on a field.

They had a chance, they'd take a bite out of you. Mincemeat. Human burger. That's what they do. Well, we're on the topic.

What's the deal with sheep? Oh, I'm nice. I'm fluffy. I'm also an asshole. I'm gonna headbutt you whenever possible.

Hey, Ethan's back. Hey. I have your solution right here. It's a court ordered sea. Oh, yeah.

Ethan Nestor
I was the big salt shotgun, and mine has the laser sight, the bug assault. The bug assault, does that actually work? Because I've seen so many videos of it, but QVC lies and JVC and whatever, don't shine it right in my eyes. My retinas. I'm flying a plane.

Sean McLoughlin
I'm gonna crash this plane. I'm flying a plane. It's okay. Don't you just have salt and then a dead bog all of your house? Yeah, you do kind of just get salt everywhere.

Ethan Nestor
I see they make another one that's a revolver. It looks really cool, and I kind of want to get that one. Can you get, like, you can get. The fast loader where it's just a bunch of pods of salt and you can just six shooter immediately. Yeah.

And you're. You're going around the corner and going. Yeah, it's like, oh, but you can bring it, like, to a house party to be like, oh, anybody wants some fries?

Sean McLoughlin
Salted. That would be so funny to replace your salt shaker with one of these guns. Hell, yeah. I think you should get one of those puppies and then maybe can a. Puppy nearby killed with a bug assault.

Ethan Nestor
Can't it survive a nuke? I don't think they survive nukes. I think they just survive radiation.

Sean McLoughlin
At least that's what I tell myself. Cause if they can survive nukes, then why are we on the planet, and not just dominated by them. You shouldn't see the bug wake up your mom and ask her to kill it. You should be on your knees begging for forgiveness to your new palmetto overlords. You know what else?

Ethan Nestor
And I don't know if this will fix the problem for you, but I find that, you know, a while ago we talked about it on the pod. I think that I had a rat issue in my house. And so the thing that helped me out when I had to deal with the rats was protecting my extremities. And so I would put on big beefy gloves when I had to candle the rats, which you should do anyway, obviously. But maybe you just go on Amazon or something and get yourself a hazmat suit.

You can get a costume. That's a hazmat suit? It's not a real one, but maybe you'll feel a little bit more protected. It's not like the cockroach can bite through. I don't even know if they can bite.

It'll fly around, but at least you'll be protected. Yeah. So maybe that will help you and. Take maybe some brazilian jiu jitsu classes, you know, get the. Get the cockroach and a sleeper hold or like a figure four leg lock.

Dude, that's. With its tiny little legs. You're dead now, bitch.

Oh, baby. Anyway, sorry about your mom, but you're not an asshole. Okay, this one is from Sparrow. It starts with my birth giver and then the slanty face. I'm going to start off with giving a good ground vision of me and my birth giver's relationship.

We don't get along at all. I'm still trying to get away from her, or at least being friends with her, but whenever I look or even think about her, I want to just rip my own heart out. I literally have no feelings left for. Wait, hold on. I'm so confused.

Sean McLoughlin
Their mom. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

There we go. My test tube. My birth. I literally have no feelings left for her and she just. And for sh.

Ethan Nestor
And hold on. This is tough for Ethan. He's never read before. I have no feelings left for her and for. She just did to me one to two days ago.

I can't accept that she is my mother or blood related, but what I wanted to know is who is in the wrong. Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster. Right now, so I don't really have all the details, but I have 90% of it.

My dad and my birth giver are separate, and my dad does pay child support, but my mother doesn't. What my birth giver does is when she receives the child support money, she sends it to my grandma, since I live with my grandma and my grandma specifically gives it to me or only lets me use that money. So the first problem was when my birth giver told both my grandma and my dad that my dad wasn't going to pay child support, and the case ended when really it was never closed and he was still paying hundreds but didn't question it because he knew he was being a good father. So since the case never closed and he was still paying, we then found out that my birth giver was behind it all, saying, oh, that money goes to one of my banks and my bills get taken there. So in all of fucked up reality, she has been using my child support money and never thought about how it could have benefited her own child.

Yes, my birth giver deals with money problems and that only because she's deciding to be married to a literal trash bag of a man that doesn't have a job and sits to play with the boys. And I'm going to say, this man is 32, for fuck's sake. But I don't believe that. And still did not give her the right to use $2,640 worth of child support money behind my back for straight months. So in all seriousness, am I the leaker or is she?

And yeah, I might know what the answer is already, but I just really needed to get this off my chest to people I've been looking up to since I was seven and the people that literally made me who I am today. Oh, well, that's sweet. So I summarize. Good luck. I'm a little confused.

I'm a little confused because I thought that they said originally that their grandmother gets the money. Yeah, I got lost in the sauce in the middle of it. If you're saying that your mom is spending money on herself and not on you, and you're living with a grandmother and your mom doesn't really want anything to do with you, then I have no idea how any way at all that you could be the asshole, because all you want is a loving parent. So my brother, when she receives the child support money, she sends it to my grandma, since I live with my grandma. Hold on, I'm just reading this again.

So the first problem was when my birthday told my grandma and my dad that my dad wasn't going to pay child support. Oh, okay. So that's. That's what I understand now. So the mom was pay, or the dad was paying mom for child support.

Mom gives the money to the grandmother. The mom then says, you don't need to pay child support anymore. The dad says, well, I want to be a good dad, so I'm going to continues to pay, even though the mom said, oh, you don't need to pay child support, which I don't really know why you would say that. Continues to pay, but then. Because.

Because the mom said, you don't need to pay, then this person making the post, and I'm assuming the grandmother assumes that the child support isn't being paid anymore because the dad didn't say anything. He just kept paying. And so later we find out that the mom has been getting the child support money, but not giving it to the grandmother. I understand. There's no world in which you are the asshole in this scenario.

Yeah. And the fact that you feel like you have to ask is kind of sad, because every child deserves love, and every person deserves love and happiness. And I'm sorry that that is happening to you. Yes. That is not a fun situation.

And also, if you have any doubt in your mind of, like, oh, maybe I'm the asshole. It's called child support. Not drinking with the boys support. Yeah. Which you are supposed to use that money to support your child.

So that money should be going to making sure you're fed, making sure you have things for school. Yada, yada, yada. It should. As Sean just said, it's not drinking with the boys support. Yeah.

No way. No how. You're the leaker. You got a stamp of NTA on that one? Or NTL, I guess.

Well, I think that we should maybe rephrase it, because leakers are superior to everybody else, you know? So I think you are the leaker, but your mom's not the leaker because your mom's not fucking chill. So. So we're redefining what that's basically saying, like, no, I think you are the asshole. Cause being an asshole is chill as heck.

It's kind of chill. No, I didn't know you're a leaker. I would dap up a leaker. Wouldn't dap up mom. Nope.

Did you see. Did you see that clip going around recently of Billie Eilish dapping up Stephen Colbert? No. He, like, puts his hand out, and she taps him up. And then it cuts to just a single shot of Stephen Colbert being like, all right, in a moment, we'll be back.

The camera pans out, and it's just Billy Irish covering her face because she realizes that she just dabbed up Stephen. Colbert instead of realizing that he was going for a handshake. Yes. It's really funny. God, it's a good time.

Sean McLoughlin
Brady Eilish also said she missed out on the chance to learn how to type, and then because she wasn't that generation. Learn how to type? Yeah. She was like, I never learned how to type, and that's. I'm not that generation, so I feel like I missed out and I regret it.

It's like, first of all, you can learn to type whatever the fuck you want. Wait, do they not teach that in school typing? I mean, for me, they didn't, but I think that's what she means, is that I'm not that generation where they teach it in school. It's like you were born in 2001, smartphones. And, like, all of this stuff is normal then.

Ethan Nestor
Hmm. Yeah. Or, like, mobile phones and blackberries and keyboards and computers and houses and also. What do you mean you regret it? Just learn.

Just learn. But also, it doesn't matter if you're part of that generation anyway, because Phineas and I are the same age. Her brother, and they're both homeschooled. So. Did he learn how to type?

Sean McLoughlin
No, I learned how to make sick fucking trap beats hell. Yeah. I don't fucking know how to type properly. I. I just make do.

Ethan Nestor
I go. It's like you're online long enough. It's like going to a call of duty lob. Just hit up a lob and just start. I don't know if anyone's ever said that.

I don't know if anybody's ever called it a lob, but sure. Oh, sure, yeah. You're gonna type out two extra letters to write lobby instead of, like, just joined the lob. And then you just start writing horrible shit at someone. Horrible things.

Sean McLoughlin
But it's, like, between rounds, you got to do it really quickly. Yeah. Anyway, um, this one comes in from Caitlin. Said my fiance leaves me with our dogs so he can do things like yard work or vehicle restoration. I'm not saying he shouldn't do these things that he enjoys, but am I the leaker for wanting my own free time away from the dogs?

One isn't housebroken. He thinks I'm unreasonable. Ooh, I. Okay, so he has. I think in relationships, everyone should have their own time, no matter how absolutely much you adore the other person.

For my own example, I absolutely love and adore Evelyn. Every single minute with her is a treasure and a joy in my life. And she makes me a better person. But sometimes it's like, she's like, I want to read downstairs. And I'm like, yeah, I want to, like, watch the Simpsons or something.

It's like, if I'm watching the Simpsons, she's trying to read. It's fucking annoying. Like, you can't. Sometimes you just can't do two things at once. You want to turn off your brain.

Sometimes you want to activate your brain. I don't like sitting still. So you got to have your own time. You got to have your own space. What you're saying is you don't really love each other because if.

Ethan Nestor
If you're not wanting to spend every waking moment with each other. I wasn't. I was trying to lead subtext so Twitter could go nuts and make up their own theories because they all know relationships better than I do. Anyway, it's great that your boyfriend does vehicle restoration. That's.

Sean McLoughlin
That fills his creative well and does yard work. But I don't see where the part is that, like, you can't do things on your own. Like, if he's off doing those things, then it's like, sure, I can look after the dogs, but then I think it's up to you to sit down and be like, hey, I mean, it sounds like you said that I want my own time. Can you look after the dogs? I'm going out.

Like, what are your hobbies? Oh, wait. She followed up, saying, his excuse is always, but you can always watch tv or read a book. There's nothing stopping you. My one puppy needs bathroom breaks constantly.

And so much attention. She bites me when I ignore her. Yeah. I mean, that's not really your own time where you can just sit and chill. Yeah, you're.

Ethan Nestor
You're having to take care of something else. Yeah. So that's kind of a moot point a little bit to be like, well, you can, you can do other stuff while you're doing it because you still need alone time. That's like saying, oh, you went into record in your room earlier and you were gone for like 3 hours. Wasn't that.

Sean McLoughlin
Isn't that good enough? That's not the same. No, no, not at all. I think you should be allowed have your own time. I don't think you're the asshole.

Relationships are give and take. Understanding, communication. Yeah. I think that you should maybe say, like, I understand that you think that I'm having this alone time, but really I'm not because I have to look after the dogs. So if you can if you can just put down your wrench and your.

If you could just fucking climb off my clit for a second and just listen.

Ethan Nestor
Climb off my clit. You use that one for free, ladies or anybody that has a vagina and a clit power move. So funny. Yeah, you're, you are the leaker, but you're not the asshole. Yeah.

Sean McLoughlin
Again, Ethan's made this very confusing because we asked, am I the leaker? And he's saying, yes, but that's the opposite. Yeah. Being that you're chill and you're cool, I think power move. You come in with a pair of aviator sunglasses, a trucker hat, a big giant denim jacket, and you say, listen here, pips squeak.

It's either going to be both of our highways or we're going to have a traffic jam. We're going to be built up here and we're all going to get mad and road rage and honking our horns and my dogs, you got to piss. But if you can't handle that and then you chug a bud light, bitch. You don't like it, go home. Then chug it, crush the can against your head, throw it at his head and say, what do you think about that, chapstick cheeks?

Ethan Nestor
Nice. Dude, I don't know where I'm coming up with these. All right, next, this comes from Onyx. Am I the ass? Am I the leaker for shredding part of a Valentine's Day gift?

Okay, not a great start, but let's read. So there was this guy that I knew. We were friends and only had met in person once at a pub in the beginning of February. Mm hmm. On Valentine's day, he messaged me saying he got me a gift and wanted to see me that day, but I didn't know how to tell him.

I wasn't interested in him like that. So I told him he could give me the gift the next day because I did not want to see him on Valentine's Day. So next day, my friend is around my house because I was a little nervous about what he might do say. And we're both curious as to what the gift is. I thought it would be a music cd because we have similar taste in music.

When he arrives, I open the door to see him standing there carrying a build a bear. Now I had mentioned before wanting a build a bear, the Valentine's Day devil bear, because I think it's really cute. But I said that I had been meaning to buy it for myself. He took that as me dropping a hint for him to buy it for me, apparently. Anyway, I shredded the birth certificate that came with it because I couldn't stand seeing his name on it and on it, and I was completely mortified.

I've now photoshopped a new birth certificate, but deep down, I feel bad about changing the bear's identity. Plus, it was a gift and build the bears aren't that cheap. Oh, I forgot to mention that it says on the birth certificate, uh, when they were bought, and he bought it for me the day after we met in person. I'm no longer in contact with him because he was kind of creepy. Okay, this is all over the place.

Sean McLoughlin
I was getting red flags as soon as you said I had to bring my friend over because I was worried what he would say or do or what the gift was gonna be. That's good. That has alarm bells going off in my head of why you feel like you need backup. Yeah, I think if your gut is saying that, then it's like. Yeah, I I think I need further context about any of this stuff, because right now, it just sounds like he got you a nice gift and was like, I wanted to build a bear.

He got you a build a bear, which seems nice on the surface, but then you said he was creepy and you're not in contact with him anymore, so you wanted to change the name. Mm hmm.

Ethan Nestor
I understand why maybe he thought you were dropping a hint, because I think buying, like, a bear for somebody or something like that is sort of a romantic gesture, and so I understand, especially the valentine's day bear. So I understand that where maybe he misinterpreted that and thought it was you dropping a hint. But what I would like to ask is because you said that you didn't know how to tell him that you weren't interested in him. So I think that. Did you ever do that after, or did you guys just stop talk?

Sean McLoughlin
Did you do a classic ghost? Yeah. So I think. I think you probably should have hinted in some way, hey, I'm not interested. Yeah.

That if you shredded it while you were guys were together, just so you didn't want to see his name on it, then that's not really that cool. But if you did it afterwards, like, you broke up and it was suddenly like, shit, I got a tattoo with this guy's name. I got to get rid of it. If you shredded it afterwards, then that's fine. But, yeah, and, I mean, if you were never together to begin with and you're just kind of creeped out about it, then, you know, I think that's fine.

Yeah. I need to get more context on this guy because he could be a grade a douchebag, and I have no idea. Yeah. I mean, at the end of the day, if you felt uncomfortable and just, like, I don't want to have this certificate, um, then, you know, you. It's within your right to throw it away.

Yeah. Plus, it's. It's a piece of paper. I thought you were going to say. You shredded the bear, and I was like, damn, that's a powerful shredder.

I was going to be like, damn, hit me with the link. That's fucking sick. I love a paper shredder. Um, I don't think that you're the asshole in this situation. I think that that's fine.

Ethan Nestor
I do want a little more context. Yeah. It's kind of hard to judge. And we're getting everything from one person's pov. Um, I don't think that you should feel bad about changing the bear's identity, you know?

Sean McLoughlin
Yeah. It's your bear. Yeah. He's your child. Yeah.

Do whatever you want. It's a bear. It's not that deep. It's a piece of paper. Him buying it the day after you.

Ethan Nestor
Did you say? Yeah, it sounds like you guys weren't together for that long. Okay, so we had only met in person once at a pub in the beginning of February, and then he bought. You a build a bear midway through February, which, again, on paper, that just sounds like a nice gesture. So, yeah, I don't know.

Sean McLoughlin
But if the guy's a creepy, then. Good job buying it the day after is a little presumptuous. You would do that? Your love language is gift giving. You know how that feels.

Ethan Nestor
Yeah, that's true. That's true. That's true. I would have just, like, given them, like, a meal at Margaritaville and like, oh, washing away a pat in the back and being like, there, there's slugger. It's also very telling that you didn't want to see them on Valentine's Day.

I think you take them to Margaritaville. There, there, slugger. Happy Valentine's day. Yeah. Early on in a relationship, I like to treat the date as like someone who just hit a home run at a little league baseball game.

Sean McLoughlin
There, there, slugger. Romance, baby, romance. Which I just realized that it made it sound like I was treating my date as a little leaguer, which I want to put out there that I don't like what I just said.

Ethan Nestor
I am uncomfortable with the situation, but I just. Look, sometimes the brain finds a joke avenue, and you crash halfway down that avenue. And then you call the police and say, I need help. Please help me. Airlift me out of this bit.

Sean McLoughlin
Anyway. All right, this one comes in from Coulson Jaiden saying, am I the leaker for destroying my ex's expensive car? I 20 f was dating a guy that cheated on me with two f friends. A secret throuple. Upon receiving this news, I put instant mashed potatoes in his gas tank and spray painted his windows black.

I knew he wanted them tinted. Ooh.

I am. First of all, I'm so sorry that it happened to you, because people cheating is awful, and sometimes that's an emotional bullet that you can never recover from because it makes you distrust everybody in your life. I don't know if I would go straight to property damage. Yeah. I will say that that, technically, is a crime.

I was gonna say one of these is a crime. And the, like, cheating on someone isn't a crime emotionally, it is. One of these is, like, legit property damage that he can probably sue you for, especially if you're in America putting. Instant mashed potatoes in the gas tank. It's really funny.

Ethan Nestor
That's so good. I don't know if that would actually do anything, because I feel like the gasoline would actually just eat away at it. But that's really funny. Plus, how does that. What if he just kicks it on and then the pistons start mixing mashed potatoes, and he's like, why does this smell like thanksgiving in here?

So I. I think I need a little more context as well. Being cheated on in any scenario is very, very, very terrible. Yeah, fuck that guy. Extremely sorry that you have to go through with that.

And. Yeah. Especially with two of your friends. That's awful. Yeah, that's terrible.

Also, did you put instant mashed potatoes in your friends cars? Cause it takes three to throuple. That's true. I would like to know how long this relationship is, though. Yeah.

Sean McLoughlin
This is, like, a reaction to, like, we have three kids together, and we've been married for 25 years. Yeah. Had you been together for years? Was it just a month or two? If it was shorter, then it's like, ah.

Ethan Nestor
And now I would like to say. I would like to say. I would like to say. Being cheated on. Terrible.

I am so sorry. This person fucking sucks. But I would say that the property damage is, I think, a bit much. Now. I don't want anybody to say I hate him.

Sean McLoughlin
I think that's a perfectly reasonable reaction. I don't use. Is someone cheating on you? I don't think you should risk going to jail. Jail or being sued or going to court over that, because that's just.

Then they're just damaging you twice. Yeah, I think that's a good point. Saving yourself. Because at the end of the day, this is probably thousands of dollars, especially if it's an expensive car. This is thousands upon thousands of dollars of damage that you have done.

Ethan Nestor
Cause the windows will all need to be replaced. Not. Yeah, I think. I think the feeling of wanting to do that is very understandable. I think we've all been in positions in our life where you've wanted to harm somebody or damage something or punch a wall or something like that.

Sean McLoughlin
You've wanted to react strongly to something as someone has wronged you. But you're also hurting yourself twice in this scenario by getting emotionally completely fucked up, understandably, from being cheated on with two friends. But then you also risk financial ruin and, like, going to jail and having stuff on a record and that kind of stuff because some asshole cheated on you. Which. Yeah, in, like, I'd say give it.

Depending on how long this relationship is. Give it two weeks, give it two months, give it two years. However long it takes you to get over this, you look back and it'd be like, oh, God, why did I do that? Mm hmm. I think also in this scenario, if you're still feeling real angry, maybe do something that wouldn't get you in legal trouble.

Ethan Nestor
Like, if they got you a really nice gift or something like that. Maybe burn the gift. Or if they wrote you a letter, like, burn it or something like that. Because then also seeing something go up in flames is. Is very therapeutic.

But something that will not get a policeman on your door saying, hey, we. We need to take you in. We need to take you in because you put instant mashed potatoes. Well, they also said he wanted his windows tinted, so you sprayed them black. But you also put, like, a winky face emoji, which I'm not cool about.

Yeah. Um, I get very sorry that happened to you, though, because I. I mean, I was much younger, but my girlfriend kind of, like, cheated on me, but I was, like, emotionally ill equipped to deal with anything like that. But I don't think destroying someone's car is the way to go. Yeah, no, I.

I understand where you're coming from. I think it's, uh. I think it's not really the right reaction. Yeah. And also, just protect yourself in that scenario.

Sean McLoughlin
Take a beat. Take a breath. Also, your ex is going to walk out to his car and be like, who could have. Oh, I know who did this? Yeah, it's going to be the immediate thought.

Ethan Nestor
And then he might want to get revenge on you and put instant mashed potatoes in your gas tank. Yeah, we might just have an instant. We might just have a food fight on our hands by the end of it and that. And you know what happens once the fighting starts. It just never stops.

He goes to revise engine and just the whole fucking Thanksgiving dinner comes out as exhaust. Cranberry sauce, turkey, all the trimmings.

Fun, fun. Okay, some of these are uncomfortable because I don't want to give people actual advice on their lives. Yeah, same here. Okay, this one comes in from Noelle spades. Am I the leaker for cutting off some friends?

For drinking and smoking? Contact below if it matters. I don't have any sort of condition, but I hate cigarettes, vapes, because I get headaches and feel nauseous at the smell of all of them. And I don't drink and never plan to. But those things are some of my friends only idea of a good time.

And some would keep asking me to try it once whenever we'd hang out. Confronting people either deemed me the mom friend, a wet blanket, or would cause those people to stop inviting me to stuff. I stopped hanging out with them eventually because people, strangers would ask if I smoke when the smell just struck, when the smell just stuck to my clothes. I think there's a full fledged addiction. At least one of those people and my other friends think that I should have stuck with them to help them through it, but I'm not equipped to handle that.

And that person's idea of support is to just continue hanging around with. Hanging around them while they did those things. Hmm. Uh. I don't think that you're an hassle for that at all.

Sean McLoughlin
No, not really. It's like, oh, these people only want to do this thing that I don't like, and it actually makes me feel sick. It makes me feel nauseous and I get a headache. Yeah. Why would you continue to hang out?

Ethan Nestor
If that's all that they do and you don't like doing that, then it's like, why? Why would you go? Yeah, the question is whether or not you've verbalized this to them. Like, are they well aware that you're uncomfortable with that and they just keep doing it around you anyway, then, yeah, that's annoying. Especially like cigarettes and stuff.

Sean McLoughlin
Vapes I'm not too sure about because I feel like they're all still too new for any of us to know much about them. But cigarettes, it's like secondhand smoke and everything. People have been well documented of getting cancers and things from just secondhand smoke. So I, like, I don't want to be around smoke at all, let alone, like, friends who smoke, which I don't think I have any friends that smoke, but still, that is annoying. I wouldn't worry too much if strangers asked if you smoked because your clothes smell like smoke.

I don't think it matters what strangers think about you at all because they're strangers and who gives a shit? But yeah, if they're always smoking, then of course there's full fledged addiction in at least one of those people. I feel like anybody who smokes continuously is addicted to smoking. Addiction doesn't have to be like, oh, it's completely ruined my life. And like, I, it doesn't have to be like, the complete extreme end scale of it.

Like, just needing to smoke or jonesing for a smoke every now and then is that's addiction. Even alcohol. Like, some people are like, I need to go out, and when I'm out, I have to drink. Like, that's kind of an addiction as well. Yeah, I don't, I don't think you're an asshole for not wanting to hang out with those people.

Ethan Nestor
I, if I was around people that did shit that I wasn't down to do, and that's all they did all the time. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. It's a different story if you haven't, because there's no real context to any of this. But if you've told them and then they're like, nah, fuck that, we're just going to continue doing it anyway, then, yeah, I wouldn't hang around either. But if you didn't tell them or if you just left or stopped hanging out with them or anything like that, and then told them after the fact, and that's a little different also.

Sean McLoughlin
Yeah, it's a weird thing with friends because it's like, sure, you want to support your friend and whatever, but also you don't owe anybody anything. Nobody owes anybody anything. Yeah, support is different either way. Some people are better equipped to handle the burdens of other people, but nobody, nobody else's problem is your problem, and it never is. It's more voluntary than anything.

There's no should in terms of friendships or relationships when it comes to like, oh, you should have been there for me. It's like, well, I got my own shit going on. I want to be there for you, and I will be there for you is different than keeping that over your head and making sure that you have to be there for somebody. Sometimes people are just toxic. Yeah, I agree.

Ethan Nestor
I agree. Anyway, hope that helped.

Sean McLoughlin
All of this is like, I don't know. I kind of need to know more about you and your friends and your relationship and who you are as a person. It's like whenever I think about people going to therapy, it's like you go in, you explain your situation, and then they're like, man, that sucks. I'm sorry you went through that. Here's how we can help you go through that.

You are enough. And then the other person that you're mad at goes to therapy, and they're like, so sorry you went through that. You are enough. Everyone comes out, and it's like, I don't need to change for anybody. I'm enough.

And then the other person's like, I am enough. I was told I was enough. I'm good the way I am. Your therapist is lying. So it's always difficult in any scenario because it's all contextual and everybody's personalities are different and.

Ethan Nestor
Yeah, also, I think knowing your age for this would help a lot, too, because how old are you in this thing? Because if you're still in high school or something like that, it's like, okay, that is not your responsibility at all. No. If they are smoking all the time and drinking all the time and they're underage, that's their parents or guardians should be figuring that out. I mean, that kind of goes for any of these situations.

Sean McLoughlin
18 year old going through some of this stuff versus a 35 year old going through some stuff is very different because, yeah, I would imagine 18 year olds are a little less emotionally equipped to deal with certain scenarios in the world. At least I certainly was. Whereas, like, pushing a 35 year old man 34, now it's like, I probably should know a little better or should have done some work on myself in the years to kind of, like, take some accountability here and there. Yeah, listen, we're all learning and growing, and that's the beauty of life. We're all just a work in progress.

I'm gonna get that tattooed right across my forehead. Work in progress. Work in progress. It's like, hey, fuck you, buddy. Where did that come from?

Sorry. I'm a work in progress. I'm a work in progress. Sorry. Work in progress.

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee.

It's like, how do I know if you've had your coffee or not? You can just bet that I've never had my coffee. Cause I'm always an asshole. I'm always an asshole. That's how you get through life, is that people are like, if you keep running into assholes, maybe you're the asshole.

It's like, maybe if I just be the asshole all the time, I don't have to care about what anybody thinks. I think that we should all just start shifting the blame more. If someone is saying you're the asshole, just shift it and be like, well, no, it's because you did this thing. So actually, you're the reason I think. We should normalize lying and squealing on people, tattling on everybody, making up shit about anybody whenever you want.

Ethan Nestor
Because what is the truth? You know? The truth is whatever you perceive the truth to be. Yeah, correct. So that's also what the therapist says.

Sean McLoughlin
My truth. My truth. Just say, hey, man, this is my truth. I'm delusional as fuck. Yes.

I'll believe anything I want. If I want to think I'm amazing and everybody else is bad, I'm well within my rights to do that. I thought this was America. Aren't I well within my rights to think whatever I want and hate everybody else? It's in the constitution, Sean.

Ethan Nestor
No, you're in the UK. No, this is America. This is my truth. Free speech. I can say I'm in America.

Sean McLoughlin
It's the freedom to be whatever you want to do. Hell, yeah. The freedom to be whatever you want to do. America. That's a futurama quote.

He's like, I'm gonna be whatever I wanna do.

Should we do one more piece? We can. I didn't have another one, though. Hmm. You know what they say.

Karma's a bitch, and I should have known better. You should have known better. If I had a wish, would have never effed around, dude. Listen, Sean, I think to spice it up a little bit, next time, we should have our exes on the podcast. Dream guess.

On my podcast.

I don't know. Let's spice things up a little. One of my exes.

Ethan Nestor
I'm the first gay person. No one's ever done it. I'm not only the first gay person, I'm the first gay person that's ever done music, ever. Have you. Have you seen that clip of her.

Going like, oh, oh, no, I have not. Or it's like, oh, try. She's doing, like, ad libs for the song, and it's like, do this one. Like, oh, like the lady in the studio. And then Jojo does it, but she does it with that heft in her voice, and the other lady's like, she's raspy today, but the auto tune is off the charts.

Oh, Jojo. Look, Jojo, I'm sorry. I don't actually wish any ill will upon Jojo, but, no, it's just really funny to follow that. That song and the TikToks and everything going on around it. Yeah.

Sean McLoughlin
Am I the asshole, Ethan? Am I the asshole? I didn't know anything about Jojo Siwa other than the name before the song came out, but I've sort of been like, guilty pleasure watching all the TikToks around it of people poking fun at it. Am I the asshole for thinking those are funny? No, Sean, I don't think that you are the asshole, because it is funny.

Ethan Nestor
And it's also unfortunate because, you know, I think being a child star probably fucked her up quite a bit. Yeah. She's just surrounded by people who only say yes all the time. Hey, but admitted, what song has been in your head for the last couple of days?

I don't know what the dance is. I'm all for being confident in yourself, because that's something I feel like I lack sometimes. Like, be confident. You do something cool. Fucking sing it from the mountaintops, baby.

Sean McLoughlin
There's no. Be an asshole about it. There's a difference between being confident and being a shithead. Yeah. And act.

A lot of it is just pr stuff. I guess she's just saying stuff like, hey, this is drumming up hype. If I feel like I'm a new gay icon for a current generation of teenagers, then why not? But just don't pretend that you're the first to ever do it. Yeah.

Elton John is rolling in his bed. No one's ever made music before. Jojo Siwa. No. David Bowie.

What's it? I don't need to elaborate. It's just David Bowie, Tegan and Sarah, they did do a reaction to that where they were. It was just both of them, like, staring at the camera to be like, we've always been gay and always been making music. Come on.

A bit. I shouldn't know better if I smoked a pack every second of my life.

I want to know. Raspiness is crazy. I want to know if that's like a put on thing like that. Hello, all you beautiful people out there. She's just 2012.

Jacksepticeye. Yeah. Slash. Matpat. Yeah.

Dream guests on my podcast. Don't tell me how many calories I can have, bitch.

He's gonna wish he never came to New York. Um, I would say, jojo, come on the podcast, but I don't trust myself to ask good questions. Same. Same here. I hope.

My hope is that in any of this, she can see the fun in it all as well. I hope so, too, because, Jojo, if you're listening, hope you're having fun out there. Because when a lot of people say shit about you on the Internet, even when it's not true or it's done in a jokey fashion or anything like that, it still kind of sucks to see so many people talking about you when you're not able to, like, talk back. Yeah. So, Jojo, I'm sorry.

It's really funny. But also, like, if you. If you message me and say, hey, don't do that, I'll be like, okay, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. Same here.

I'm sorry I did that to you. Sorry, Jojo. But, Jojo, you should know better than. Anyone, Hakama's a bitch. You should have known better.

He could have. Woulda never wound guys, which is funny. Because would I never have to just say fuck. Let Jojo say fuck. Let Jojo say fuck.

I wanna hear, has Jojo Siwa ever said fuck? Probably. She also told the story to Joy Graceffa about one of the times that she made a video. She was actually really high in the video, and it was her first time getting high, but she did the video anyway, and she was, like, 17 or something in the video. So what?

I don't know. Jojo Siwa swears on a podcast. F word. I heard Jojo Siwa say, oh, shit. Oh, my God.

Ethan Nestor
I heard it too. She said, oh, shit. Like every regular person, she says. She says, shut the fuck up in this one, Jojo.

Ready? Take a. Take a look at that. She's saying that to us. She's telling us that we should shut the fuck up right now.

Sean McLoughlin
Talking about her. All right, Jojo. Fine. Fine, Jojo, the episode here, you win this round. I should have known better.

Ethan Nestor
We should have never messed around. Jojo messed around, fuck around. Find out. I'm gonna go now and give myself. I'm gonna put toothpicks under my fingernails after this, because pray.

Jojo would have won. I would pray for forgiveness. We should dress up like Jojo Siwa next episode. I see that. I see people do it for the TikToks.

Sean McLoughlin
I'm like, oh, my God. There's so much effort to go to for a TikTok. Anyway. We need. We need to end this episode.

Ethan Nestor
We need to end this episode. Thank you guys, so much for listening hoop you enjoy. Don't forget to do whatever you want. Don't forget. Tell everyone about the podcast and say, if you don't listen to this podcast, then I'm going to put instant mashed potatoes in your muffler.

Sean McLoughlin
I'm going to spray tint your eyeballs. If you don't tell me to sub to this podcast, I'm going to go to jail. Yep. There's nothing you can do about it. Unless.

Unless I'm just gonna make up the crime myself. It's my truth, actually. People want to see that. People want to see the downfall of anybody. If you don't tell people to subscribe to the podcast, we'll be happy.

Ethan Nestor
And you don't want to see that, because then we'll make rational decisions. Reverse scientology. Clever. All right, bye.

C
Whether you're in a relationship, single, or recently heartbroken, you could be navigating some tough stuff. And it really can be challenging to do this on your own. We all need help when it comes to our relationships, very specifically, our love lives. I'm Jillian, and each week on my podcast, Jillian on love, I share skills on how to strengthen our relationships, how to build a stronger sense of self, and how to heal heartbreak and choose better partners. Learn how to start making change today and search for Jillian on love wherever you're listening now.

Sean McLoughlin
Hey. This is Eric Malinski, host of the podcast imaginary worlds. Each episode, I explore different Sci-Fi fantasy genres, talking with filmmakers, novelists, game designers, cosplayers, comic book artists, and anyone who works in the field of make believe. I also look at the fan experience, asking, why do we suspend? Or disbelief?

Ethan Nestor
You can subscribe to imaginary worlds wherever you get your podcasts.

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